[Ranma][FanFic] Biker 1/2 chapter 14
Calum Wallace
Are you still trying to make me say Ranma 1/2 is my fault?
Words in "<this>" kind of brackets are spoken in Cantonese.
Chapter 14: Trouble brewing
"Hey yeah, I'm the one that you wanted. Hey yeah, I'm the superbeast" - Rob
Zombie, 'Superbeast'
************************************
Ranma pulled out of the driveway with Akane and Shampoo hard behind him. He
backed off enough that they could keep up on their CB's
Akane grinned as she lent the bike into the corner, low enough to bash the
left exhaust on the road. A CB's zorsts weren't exactly far from the deck.
But then she was used to a mechanically similar bike. Different in that it
was half the capacity and lacked a turbo. Same as in it had an identical
gearbox, running gear and frame.
She too backed off a bit. Shampoo was not very sure of herself in this
unfamiliar enviroment. The Chinese girl was only really used to bikes where
you pedal. She'd ridden her brother's home made dirt bike enough to get the
hang of clutch control, but not enough to learn much more than that.
Ranko's bike was last, the chug-chug-chug of it's V-twin echoing down the
street. It somehow managed to be louder than Ranma's bike courtesy of two
huge pistons and a pair of missing silencers.
It was almost time for school again. Ranma gunned his bike up a bit. It
popped a little wheelie and flashed down the street in a cloud of tyre
smoke.
Ranko snapped her bike into second. The engine grunted as she moved out to
the centreline.
Akane tugged back on the throttle. Much to her surprise the front wheel
lifted smoothly off the ground and hung in a 45 degree wheelie.
Shampoo suddenly realised she was being left behind. Not knowing the likely
result she cranked the throttle wide open.
Her bike sprang up into a high wheelie. Then the turbo kicked in.
************************************
Matsui parked his car (a Mini) and stepped out of it.
He heard howling motorbike engines in the distance. That would be Ranma and
company. Strange - it sounded like more than the usual two bikes.
Sure enough, a grand total of four bikes shot into the schoolyard. Three of
them flat black, the fourth camoflaged.
Shampoo braked heavily, enough to lock the back wheel. The bike slid round
ending up facing back the way it had come. She hastily put her feet down,
glad she had grabbed the clutch as they turned into the schoolyard.
Akane pulled up beside her. Her bike's turbo let out a massive 'PSSH' as it
released the pressure.
Ranma pulled up the other side of Shampoo. He switched off and pulled off
his crash helmet.
"Nice one, Shampoo! Yer a natrual!"
She put her bike into neautral and let go of the handlebars then pulled her
own lid off. "Is not feel that way to I!"
"Hey, ya did good! Ya didn't stall once, ya pulled a fuckin' beast o' a
ninety degree wheelie without flippin' or fallin' off, ya didn't wobble
nowt, ya pulled up without any bother - dig the slide - yer doin' alright."
Shampoo switched her engine off. "Is much scary!"
"But I bet yer feelin' good, huh?"
"Yes! Is much fun too!"
Akane switched off. "That wasn't your first try, was it?"
Shampoo shook her head. "No, I ridden I brother's trailbike much time back
in China. But there less to ride into there!"
"Yeah. That patch o' open ground outside Joketsuzo, right?"
"Is so."
"Yeah, that's a fuckin' excellent place ta get inta th' way o' ridin'."
Ranko snorted. "I learnt the hard way - dodging cops in Osaka."
"Same shit, different fuckin' place. I learnt in th' backwoods up north."
"I leaarnt around here. Less engine though."
"Ha! I learnt on a fuckin' CB500. An' not wiv a CB250 frame or a turbo.
Helluva lot slower than these two machines."
"We'd better get inside."
************************************
Genma looked up from the bike he was building for Soun as a black Mustang
pulled up outside.
"What th'..."
The Mustang's driver answered by getting out of his car. Genma jumped to his
feet.
"Akira!"
"Hello, Genma. How's it going?"
"Come inside... we need ta talk."
Akira Saotome nodded. "Indeed we do."
************************************
Ranma fished a cig out of his pocket and lit up. They had twelve minutes
until the bell went and he intended to spend it smoking.
Akane glared at him. "Nine fucking months. This is your fault!"
"Hey, it's kinda neat now I've had a think. I mean, what's better than
people that we could create, huh? I mean, th' no smokin rule's shit but we
don't wanna harm the baby, huh?"
Akane nodded. "Of course we bloody don't! But it's still shit."
"Hey, figure you've only got about eight months left ta go, right?"
"Just over."
"Well, yer gonna start gettin' a serious bump pretty soon."
"If anyoe makes fat jokes I'll kill them..."
"You'll hafta beat me ta it, Akane."
************************************
Hikaru Gosunkugi had already had a bad day.
The reason for this was strutting alng in front of him. Someone Hikaru felt
he should have been friends with - his elder brother.
Kato Gosunkugi was, in his brother's opinion, a psychopathic thug. In his
own opinion he was a top notch martial artist. His father had trained him
ever since he could walk. He was the apple of his mother's eye.
As for Hikaru, both parents basically ignored him, considering him an
embarresing mistake. Well, unless he got in his father's way in which case
he got thumped.
So Kato walked all over him. Sometimes literally.
They turned into the gates of their new school. A move of home had put the
two brothers into Furinkan High.
Both got a shock whe they saw the dozens of scruffy motorbikes that littered
the schoolyard. Students were hanging around in gangs and chatting about
thism that and the other. Usual student stuff with the addition of
motorcycles.
Hikaru pricked up his ears. This looked like good news in a big way.
One group stood out from the crowd. Three girls, one a Goth, one a biker
with blazing red hair and one with very purple hair and dressed in combats.
They were crowded around a tall, broad - shouldered and hairy boy who was
dressed in biker leathers. They were also standing around a group of four of
the meanest bikes Hikaru had ever seen. Two looked like CB250's, one was
definitely an old Harley and the fourth - the biggest, baddest and meanest
of the lot - he couldn't identify. But he could see that it was definitely
supercharged and had what looked like a nitrous oxide cylinder hanging from
the back of the seat.
It was also very, very black, had immense spiked tyres and more than it's
fair share of headlamps. It looked stark staring mad.
His brother looked around and sneered.
"What a lot of shitty bikes these sad little wankers have."
Fortunately for Kato, Ranma and the gang didn't hear.
Hikaru rolled his eyes and followed his brother into the school.
************************************
Twelve minutes later Hikaru was still waiting for Kato to come out of the
deputy head's office. He spotted the three girls and one guy he'd noticed in
the schoolyard swaggering up the hall.
Maybe coming to school in his trenchcat, leather trousers and Type O
Negative T-shirt wasn't pushing it. He grinned at them and nodded.
The Goth girl grinned back. "Hiya."
"Hi."
"Napalm Death's more my scene." She kept grinning.
"Cool!"
Kato Gosunkugi chose that moment to come out the office. Akane was right in
his way.
"Get outta my fucking way, bitch!"
Ranma's hand shot out and caught him by the front of the shirt.
"Look here ya little fuckhead. Talk to my wife like that again an' you're
gonna take a flyin' lesson outta that window. Got it?"
Kato swiped Ranma's arm off his shirt. "No, freak. Bums shouldn't try to
molest their betters. It can be bad for your health."
Ranma snorted. "Oh yeah?" He grabbed Kato again and flung him down the hall.
"Fuckhead. The name's Ranma Saotome, twelfth dan black belt in the Saotome
school of Anything Goes martial arts. You don't wanna mess with me OR my
wife. Because it could be real bad fer yer health... fuckwit."
Hikaru slipped into the office. Behind him he could heaar the bell ringing.
"Oh no, man... I'm gonna be late!"
The man behind the desk looked up. "So Kato Gosunkugi meets Ranma Saotome,
huh? Should prove educational for Mr. Kato. You're his younger brother,
right?"
Hikaru nodded. "Unfortunately."
"Hmm. Kato was telling me about your track record at your previous school...
Be assured we don't tolerate stunts like that here..."
Hikaru stifled a curse. It was so typical of his brother, lieing like that.
************************************
Matsui nodded. "Indeed, it is correct that you have just transferred from
Osaka. But that does not change the fact you are late."
"Hey, Teach!" Ranma shouted. "I seen him goin' in about quarter to an' he
was waitin' fer some fuckhead ta come outta th' head's office when I passed
him in th' hall. Had ta teach that other cunt a lesson in manners - he
called Akane stuff he shouldn't, see?"
Matusi paused. "Ah - I see. I'll let it slide this time." He frowned at
Hikaru. "But please note, promptness is a desirable virtue."
Hikaru nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Good. Take the seat next to Ranko, second from left in the front row."
Hikaru nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Oh, call me Teach. None of that 'sir' rubbish in here, please!"
Hikaru Gosunkugi shot him a startled look. Matsui grinned, as did Ranma.
"After all, you are the one doing the learning, Hikaru. I am just here to
help."
Hikaru sat down in the seat indicated. He looked round.
The redhead biker girl - apparently Ranko - was sat next to him. The boy who
had chucked Kato - Ranma, didn't he call himself - directly behind him.
Ranma had the other two girls each side of him.
He looked round at Ranko. "Hi - I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi."
"And I'm Ranko Saotome." She grinned at him. "That big lunk's my twin
brother Ranma. The girl on the left who you talked heavy metal with in the
hall's Akane Saotome. And the purple - haired girl's Shampoo. That's not her
real name but nobody except Ryoga can pronouce it and she's gone off
somewhere with this really weird guy called Herb and his mates. Something
fucked up about a kettle."
Matsui looked up. "What was that about your half - brother, Ranko dear?"
"What, Ryoga? Ranma's gotten more idea than me."
Ranma looked up. "Aw, Ryoga got lost about a week ago - I toldja about her
sense o' direction. She won a race wiv Kasumi. They wuz arguin' about wether
Ryoga's bike's faster than Kasumi's car an' they had a race ta settle it.
Last time I seen Ryoga she wuz wiv three Chinese guys who're lookin' fer
somethin' ta do with th' curse. I overheard them talkin' about it but only
caught half o' th' conversation."
Matsui nodded. "The curse would seem more important than school to you two."
"Yeah... I hear anythin' about how ta get shot o' it an' I'll be off, huh?"
Matsui nodded. "Understandable. After all, it affects you for the rest of
your life. And not what I would call a desirable effect... though Ryoga
would."
"Ya know what she's like."
"Indeed... Now then, we'd better get some work done today."
************************************
Kato Gusunkugi stood and brooded in the hall. He was holding a bucket full
of water in each hand.
How to get even with Ranma? It was thanks to the young biker that he'd been
late on his first day.
The bell went, signalling the end of first period. Doors crashed open.
There was Ranma, swaggering down the hall in the company of the trio of
girls he had been with. And a certain Hikaru Gosunkugi.
"... Suzuki GSXR1100. I stuck a blower onta th' motor. Hadta make up a new
frame - th' one offa th' wreck wuz shafted. Bent ta fuck. Lucky I found a
smashed up plane - I gotten a shitload o' aircraft quality alloy outta it. I
built th' new frame an' swingarm outta that. Th' front forks are offa a 1200
Bandit what some stupid fuck'd driven inta th' back o'. Nitrous is offa th'
same Bandit an' th' fuel tanks offa a Blade. I got th' wheels offa th' back
ends o' two write - off customs. Hadta chop th' front 'un round a bit ta fit
th' brake discs - they're offa a Super Blackbird. Th' back end wuz easier -
hardest bit wuz gettin' th' suspension set up. I doubled up th' final drive
chain ta help it stand up ta th' torque. Th' bar controls came offa an old
KTM crosser - onea th' big - bores. I swapped th' brake an' clutch levers
fer ones offa a smashed up Kawasaki streetfighter last year - dunno what
they came offa but they're a real good set. Th' alternator's offa a Ford
Transit van o' all things - I couldn't find a bike 'un that puts out enough
juice. Especially fer th' tug siren I got fer a horn. Th' stereo's th' stock
one outta a car - dunno what car, it wuz too trashed ta recognise when I
dug th' stereo outta it."
Hikaru closed his mouth. "Wow."
"She's one helluva machine - breaks th' double ton on th' back wheel no
prob. First three gears last about half a second each if I gun her. Fast
cornerin's wicked - I just lay her over an' gas her then th' back wheel
spins up, slides out an' just guides her round. Th' harder ya gas her th'
harder she turns. It's beautiful."
"I wish I could get a bike like that. And ride it."
"Gettin' th' bike's not th' problem. A while in a scrapyard an' I can get
somehin' figured. Ridin' it's the hard bit - she wheelies offa th' throttle
in every gear in th' box. Ya hafta lean forwards an' take it real easy if
yer not gonna flip her in first. That's why ya can switch th' blower off -
she launches like shit offa a stick even without it. I don't normally even
touch th' blower until I hit third. If I wuz gonna take her down th'
dragstrip all I'd need ta do is stick on a longer swingarm an' a wheelie
bar. I've thrashed a couple o' nirtomethane burners wiv her like she is.
Wheeliein' past onea them things is such a fuckin' laugh." He paused. "Her
engine's really way too powerful fer th' rest o' th' bike."
Matsui stuck his head out of the classroom. "Ranma!"
"Yeah?"
"Could you bring your bike in next period? I want you to show the other
students over it."
Ranma grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Sure thing, Teach!"
Kato narrowed his eyes as Ranma and his little gang turned and walked
outside. A deafening roar heralded Ranma firing his bike's engine.
"His bike... that's it."
************************************
Ranma still had a smug look on his face as he wheeled his bike outside. The
other kid's reaction to a close up look at said peice of barely controlled
insanity had made him want to laugh out loud.
He thumbed the starter button. The engine let out it's traditional bellowing
roar.
"All ship - shape an' Bristol fashion." He gunned it twice then switched
off. "Rockin. Man, I love my bike!"
One of the other kids (a boy called Daisuke) frowned at him.
"You really built that bike when you were a little kid?"
"Yeah. She wasn't so powerful than - I've tuned her up a shitload. Oh, an'
changed round th' handlebars an' seat. I hadta keep makin' her fit me as I
grew. So I did."
"We'd better get home, Ranma."
"Yeah yeah. Fuck sake, why do they hafta keep choppin' an' changin' th'
fuckin' timetable here?"
"Let's roll, bro."
Ranma stuffed his lid on. "Yeah, time ta get mobile!"
Shampoo pulled her own helmet on. She was glad Ranma had picked one with a
seatbelt clip style fastener rather than the D-ring setup he had on his own
lid, which looked like a real fiddle to fasten. She switched on the ignition
and kickstarted the engine. It growled into life beneath her.
Akane grinned at her and fired up her own bike. Ranko shrugged and kicked
her Hog over. Ranma nodded and thumbed the starter button.
"Let's hit th' fuckin' road!"
************************************
The four bikes turned into the Tendo's driveway about ten minutes later.
Ranma pulled his lid off and grinned at Shampoo.
"You're sure learnin' fast!"
Ranko noddd. "I wouldn't have said you was new to this game if I didn't
know."
Ranko jerked her thumb at the black Mustang. "What's with the car?"
Akane snorted. "A car like that probably belongs to one of Kasumi's pals."
Engine noise and jet-scream echoed down the street. Ranma looked round.
"Hey! Sounds like Ryoga!"
Sure enough, a certain jet bike and the trio of Musk turned into the
driveway.
Ryoga pulled off her lid. "Hey, Ranma! Check it out, bro!"
"Huh? Check what out?"
"Chuck some hot water at me and find out, man!"
"You what?"
"Shit, didn't I tell you what we were looking for?"
"You muttered something ta Herb but I didn't get it properly."
Herb laughed quietly. "Ryoga is now a woman 24-7."
"Ya what?"
"Hot water don't change me back any more. I'm gonna get Nabiki to change
everything so my records say I'm female."
"I don't suppose whatever ya found's gonna do me any good?"
"Nah. It makes the curse permanent then the other thing switches that off."
Herb put his lid back on. "Well, I guess I'll se you around, Ryoga. I've got
stuff I need to get done back home... Later, huh?"
"Yeah, I'll see you around, man. Stay cool, huh?"
"Later. Thanks."
Herb pinwheled his bike and roared away with Mint and Lime harb behind him.
Ryoga stared after them with a fond look on her face.
"Yeah... I'll see you around, man." She snorted. "Dumb bugger. He'll be
back."
Shampoo shot her a confused look. "What make you think that?"
"I don't. I know that... Remember that I'm the first girl any of them have
met more than in passing." She winked. "I've pulled..."
Shampoo did a violent double take.
************************************
Akira stared out the window.
"Well I'll be damned! Prince Herb of the Musk dynasty!"
"Huh?"
"That teenager. The one on the blue bike."
Genma frowned. "So who is he?"
"A killing machine. Hmm, from his expression he thinks quite highly of young
Ryoga. Looks like him and his friends aren't staying." Akira paused. "Time
for me to meet Ranma for real."
Genma nodded. "And the girls. Ryoga included."
"Yes, that was quite a turnup for the books, huh?"
"Yeah." Genma paused. "I always thought Ryoga was too bloody - minded to
live a lie like Godo did. And that could have caused problems... This
outcome is far better - we just need to get Ryoga's records changed to say
she was always a girl, huh?"
"Yes, indeed. This could get us a very useful ally, Genma. Prince Herb is
someone I want on my side."
The door crashed open and the kids poured through in a yelling mob. They
stopped and shut up when they saw Akira.
Ranma stepped forwards. "I saw ya at the weddin' but we didn't get
introduced... I'm Ranma Saotome, heir ta th' Saotome school o' Anythin' Goes
martial arts an' the best damn biker on th' planet... So - who're ya?"
Genma coughed. "Ahem. Ranma, this is Akira Saotome, head of the Saotome
clan."
"Right. Meanin'...?"
Akira narrowed his eyes. The boy sure had presence.
"You are apparently the most talented martial artist in your generation,
lad. When I retire in four years, it will be you who takes over from me."
Ranma snorted. "Oh yeah? Says who? Look, pal - I'm gonna stay here an' be a
father fer th' rest o' my life. I got stuff ta do, petrol ta burn, bikes ta
build. An' no fucker's gonna make me do shit I don't wanna do. So thanks,
but no thanks."
There was a shocked silence. "You what?"
"Find some other bugger, pal. I don't wanna know. I ain't gonna take yer
orders an' I ain't gonna run no clan. There's one life I'm gonna run an'
that's mine."
"You don't understand, boy. This is not something you can turn down."
"Oh yeah it fuckin' is! I told ya, I got stuff I wanna do. I only got one
life an' I'm the one who's gonna fuckin' run it, see?" He jerked his thumb
at his bike. "That's my first concern, pal." He put an arm round Akane's
shoulders and the other round Shampoo's shoulders. "An' these two are my
second concern. Like I fuckin' said, ya go find some other bugger fer this
crap!"
Genma stood up. "Goddamnit, Ranma! I-"
Akira cut him off with a sharp gesture. "Boy, do you really think I will
permit such disrespectful behaviour?"
"Ya ain't earnt my respect, pal. Ya come here an' told me my life had been
planned out by some shithead an' ya want respect? Step outside an' try ta
get it if ya think yer hard enough!"
Akira nodded. "Very well. After you."
"Nope, yer goin' out first, fuckhead. I don't trust ya not ta try somethin'
dirty."
Akira grited his teeth and walked outside, the whole gang following him.
Ranma stopped on the gravel drive.
"Okay, fuckhead. Are you ready?"
Akira turned round. "Ready and waiting."
Ranma smirked. "This is gonna be fun... Come an' get it!"
End of part 14.
NOTES
Has Ranma bitten off more than he can chew? What's Kato planning? What
unlikely peice of mayhem's gonna happen next?
Any and all C&C to dog...@ratbike.org please...
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Ratbike - A motorbike made to look as fucked up and unroadworthy as possible
while still being street legal. Normally painted flat black.
Honda CG125 - Small single - cylinder 4-stroke road bike. Not very much of
anything but supremely reliable and dirt cheap. It's reliability stems from
having very little to go wrong and a low - revving 4-stroke engine.
Honda Fireblade - Insane Honda sportsbike. Mad but beginning to show it's
age.
Supercharger - A pump driven off the crank that forces more air into the
engine thus forcing it to run faster.
Nitrous oxide - Laughing gas. A petrol - nitrous mix burns faster than a
petrol - air mix therefore produces more horsepower and more wear in the
engine.
Top yoke - The yokes are two pieces of metal that hold the front forks
together and to the bike. The top yoke is the upper one. Known as triple
clamps in the US.
Gixer - Slang for a Suzuki GSXR (one of the craziest bikes built).
Chain lube - Motorbike chain lubrication oil.
Header tank - Tank that contains the spare water for the radiator on a
sealed cooling system as found in most cars.
Gasflowing - trimming off excess metal from inside the cylinder heads to aid
the burn rate of fuel within the engine. Gives a small horsepower boost.
Final drive - the drive chain that goes from the gearbox to the back wheel
and the cogs (final drive sprockets) that it runs on.
Conrod - The bit of metal that connects the piston to the crankshaft.
Alternator - Higher tech version of a generator.
Kill switch - The engine's 'off' switch. Turns off power to the ignition.
Lid / skidlid - Slang for a crash helmet.
250 Superdream - CB250. The next up the Honda model range from the CG125 and
just a bigger version of the same.
500 Superdream - CB500. A CB250 with a bigger bore and heavier frame.
Engine clicking - An internal combustion engine heats up when run. Run it
hard and it heats up more, then when you switch off the engine will start
emitting a series of sharp clicks as the metal cools and contracts.
Stocker - unmodified factory - built vehicle.
Binned - crashed. Normally means written off.
Steering damper - a long, thin shock absorber that fits between the forks
and the frame. Helps steady the steering.