[Ranma][Dark] Akane Vicious
Adrian Tymes
Written by: Adrian Tymes
[Legal disclaimer:
This story is based on characters created by Rumiko Takahashi.
Permission is granted to freely distribute this story, so long as:
a: no recompense of financial value is received or given by the person
who distributes the story, and
b: the distributed copy is identical to the story as originally
authored.
In other words, don't sell it, and don't alter it.
Copyright (c) 2002, all rights reserved, et cetera.]
******
"Knife's on the counter, Akane. The sooner we get this over with, the
sooner Ranma'll have only one fiancee."
Akane glanced at the blade. Ukyo's back was to her. She might never
have a better opportunity, even if her rival was not actually inviting
it. "Why?"
"Because he'll be happy. Isn't that why you killed them?"
No. She killed them because she wanted to be happy, not out of any
concern for Ranma. But she quickly buried any shame at this thought as
she grasped the blade, pointed it towards her last rival's heart, and
woke up.
Akane knew what she had to do.
******
"I want to speak to your sister in private." Nine simple words, yet
they were enough to disarm all security in the Kuno estate. Tatewaki
had let her in without a hint of fuss and escorted her to Kodachi's
location. He was honorable enough to keep himself and Sasuke well out
of earshot while Akane was with Kodachi, and their father would be at
the teachers' conference for the next hour straight - or longer, if
Hinako drained him again. No chance of interruption or witnesses.
Kodachi herself was another matter, but easily dealt with. Akane had
rehearsed her lines in front of a mirror until she was certain they no
longer sounded rushed or practiced. The fact that Kodachi was busily
tending to one of her greenhouses was but a lucky break, for it fit in
well with her planned pitch. "I don't want to waste your time, so I'll
get to the point. Your brother fancies himself a fiancee of Ranma's
girl side as much as we desire his male side. With all your knowledge
of chemistry, surely you can come up with a cure for his curse. Do
that, and not only does that get Tatewaki off Ranma's case, but Ranma
will probably be grateful enough to you to take you on a date. I'm only
suggesting this because of the former."
Surprise. A bit more than Akane had anticipated, but she knew her plan
would need adjustment in the face of reality, and waiting however long
Kodachi needed was simple enough. "Ah, you speak of that absurd fiction
that the red-haired harlot and my darling Ranma are one and the same?
Really, Akane, I do not know why you believe such rubbish."
"Because I've seen it with my own eyes. But more importantly, because
Ranma himself believes it. Or do you distrust your 'darling' Ranma?
You'll never win his heart if you keep calling him a liar on something
this important to him."
That got her attention. There was a minor chance it would not, but
Akane could see in Kodachi's eyes that she could stop worrying about
that possibility now. "So...let's say it were true. Which I am not.
But, even if it were, what could I hope to accomplish against magic?"
"I don't know. I was hoping that, maybe if you looked at it as a
chemist - no magic, no artifacts, just modern science - maybe you'd see
something the rest of us couldn't. I know you're not formally trained
in the field, but you know far more about it than any of the rest of us.
Even Cologne's knowledge is based more on tales and folklore than solid
experiments."
"Hmm...you raise an interesting point. But why not ask Dr. Tofu?"
No emotion. Controlled voice. "You haven't heard? I killed him."
Raised eyebrow, check.
"I was talking to him about Kasumi, and made a joke about how Kasumi
might think he preferred his skeleton Betty to Kasumi, and how she might
think he was rubbing it in her face by dancing with Betty every time
Kasumi came by. I didn't expect him to get a heart attack over it."
Akane smiled as she saw Kodachi relax, deeming Akane not a threat
again. "Ohohohoho. Now I know what they mean by 'words that kill'."
"Don't worry, he was only dead for a moment. Kasumi used some CPR to
bring him back - which set off another heart attack when he woke up with
her kissing him, but by that time some medics from the hospital had
arrived. Now, if you've got a microscope, I've got a sample of Ranma's
blood. Maybe something happens to the cells when they get wet?" She
took a few steps closer, trying not to show her nervousness as the
critical moment approached.
Kodachi turned her back on Akane. "I think it's back here..."
*WHAM*
Kodachi dropped to the ground as Akane caught her breath, sweat finally
breaking out from the exertion of a full force mallet blow to the back
of her target's head. Akane checked her follow-up swing when she heard
the body hit the floor; she had not been certain that one blow would
knock Kodachi out. But she was certain that one blow would by no means
finish the job. Adjusting her position to that of a rock breaker, she
centered her mallet over Kodachi's skull.
*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM**WHAM*WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM*
Akane let the recoil of her blows propel her mallet back up, providing
some of the upswing for her next blow, acting like a piston speeding up.
She ignored the bruises on Kodachi's face, the shattering of her perfect
nose, and the teeth shooting out from impacts on the jaw. Even the
slowly spreading pool of blood was but one sign; what she was truly
looking for was Kodachi's brain starting to come out of her shattered
skull, and Akane did not let up until she saw it.
******
"KUUUUUNOOOOO!!! HELP!!!"
Kuno had not been in the room immediately outside Kodachi's garden,
though Akane had bolted through the door anyway just in case. Panic was
easy to fake: she just had to tap into her fear that the plan would go
awry now that she was irrevocably committed to it. At the same time,
though, she had to make sure it did not control her; she needed to seek
out the kendoist even though her gut demanded he was the last person she
wanted to encounter right now.
Tatewaki came quickly when she yelled. "What is wrong, oh dark-haired
beauty?"
Suppressed emotion flipped to exaggerated emotion as Akane launched
herself into his embrace and sobbed. "I-it's...we were at-t-tacked."
She could not see his face with her eyes buried in his shirt, but she
could hear the frown in his voice. "What ignoble beast dares violate
the sanctity of the Kuno estate? Nay, do not tell me, for I know that
Saotome is once again the cause of your upset."
"N-no...it wasn't Ranma...I didn't g-get a good look, but he was too
tall for Ranma."
"Never fear. I shall defend you from this beast, whoever he is."
"I...I think I'll be ok. But your sister..."
"What about Kodachi? Was she injured?"
"He...he took out this big wooden statue. Looked like a Buddha. He
said something about how Kodachi had violated their ceremony or
something, and began beating her with it. I couldn't fight him, so I
ran to get help, but I-I think it may be too late."
Tatewaki let go of Akane and charged back towards the room. Akane stood
in place at first, then hesitantly walked towards it too, hands clasped
white-knuckle tight and fear written on her face.
After a short while, Tatewaki emerged, his face the color of ivory.
"No..."
"Kuno?"
He looked at her, snapped out of his mini-reverie.
Akane tensed. If asked, she could claim it was from his look, but this
was the second moment of truth: if she had left some obvious clue, or he
was just suspicious of her, that meant a duel to the death, in which she
intended to strike the first and only blow. Like brother, like sister.
But then her alibi would not be as solid, and Sasuke could observe and
run away to inform someone else without her knowing.
"My sister has expired." His voice grew a bit less steady as he spoke.
"By all the deities, I swear, this will NOT go unpunished. Whoever has
DARED to assassinate my kin, I shall track them down. THE VENGENANCE OF
THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH SHALL NOT BE DENIED!" As he spoke, a
lightning bolt struck the mansion's lightning rod, thunder rolling
through the halls to merge with his voice. Odd, since the skies had
been clear when Akane came in.
But he was not confronting Akane. This duel would not have to be, at
least for now.
"Kuno...I think..." She gulped. "I-I'd like to go home now, if that's
okay. I need some of Kasumi's soup and a chance to meditate soon, or
I'm going to have nightmares for weeks."
Tatewaki nodded. "If you think that is necessary. But try not to
forget what has happened here too soon; the police will want to know,
and I shall start my quest for vengeance once their capable
investigatory skills have given me a target. Speaking of which:
Sasuke?"
"I have already placed the call," a voice echoed from nowhere.
"Thank you." Akane bowed, then walked fast towards the door. Running
would be excusable, but suspicious, and the object of the game now was
to hide in plain sight.
******
Akane had but one stop on her route home. A construction site,
abandoned on Sundays. Even if anyone saw her now, no one would question
her ducking inside to catch her breath, but she had planned her route
such that it would be hard to follow her undetected. No one was around
when she slipped through the entrance in the plywood barrier concealing
most ground work from curious pedestrians. A quick double check saw no
prying eyes before she set down her specially constructed mallet, pulled
out a cigarette lighter, and lit the flammable handle.
Glancing at the mallet's business end, she saw the bloodstains she knew
would likely be there, and prayed that none had too visibly transferred
to her clothes. Only a shell of normal wood surrounded the quickly
burning interior, but only the shell might have left splinters in
Kodachi's skin. She had made certain it was a different type of wood
from her normal mallet - redwood, in this case, as opposed to her
standard oak - so that even if some cop did make the connection, it
could easily be proved that the splinters did not come from her mallet,
thus proving her innocence. But, better if everyone believed her story:
less things that could possibly go wrong.
As she warmed her hands over the burning evidence, she ran through the
made-up assailant's description again. About 200 centimeters, black
ninja outfit like something out of a history book, shoulders about four
head widths broad, blue eyes and light skin - as seen on the bridge of
the nose through the mask's only opening - that suggested Caucasian
ancestry, and a deep voice that could only be masculine. Other than the
statue, no visible equipment, though the folds of the outfit might well
have hidden items. Motive completely unknown aside from what she heard,
not that such would even be a statistical anomaly among Nerima's more
violent visitors, at least when they first arrived. Akane did not see
which shadow he stepped out of, and his being a ninja would explain the
lack of signs of forced entry - assuming the door had not simply been
left unlocked when she came in. No leads, no vengeance, case
closed...so long as she did not reuse this method ever again.
******
When she arrived at home and gave her cover spiel to her family, she was
just a little surprised at their reaction. Nabiki and Kasumi were
supportive, but Ranma, Genma, and Soun just got into a debate about the
Saotome Secret Technique. They seemed to care more about whether
applying it in that situation was the right thing to do than about her
own trauma.
Not that it mattered. She "recovered" before night fell, staying in her
room except for dinner and to answer the police investigator when he
stopped by. Ranma even came by to see if she was ok, but more to tell
her how he felt after the first and only time he had killed. Worried
that he might cause her to tip her hand, she joked that maybe he had
been the ninja. Another day, another fight.
Which caused the family to be stunned at breakfast the next morning.
"Ranma, about last night: I went too far when I suggested you killed
Kodachi. I'm sorry."
Whatever mood that created was spoiled, along with the silence, three
point nine seconds later when Genma began choking on Ranma's food.
Ranma applied a swift backhand to Genma's stomach, relieving him of
breathing hazard and, when he hit the wall while trying to roll with the
punch, consciousness. The rest of his attention stayed on his fiancee.
"Akane? You feeling alright?"
"No. What I did was inexcusable."
Soun smiled. "Oh, I get it. You want Ranma to...'punish' you."
Ranma's and Akane's fists raced to their target. Which one won, no one
could tell. Either way, Soun was through the roof, arcing off to parts
unknown.
Akane raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure *you're* feeling okay? I'm the
one with a short temper, not you."
"You want inexcusable..." Ranma gestured to Soun's former place at the
table. "*That* was inexcusable. You're still hurting from yesterday.
Our fathers won't say it, so I will: what you did was perfectly okay. I
forgive you, whether or not anyone else will."
Akane launched herself into her fiancee's chest, much as she had into
Kuno's not even twenty-four hours prior. "Oh, Ranma..."
******
School was easier than usual that day. Not a single person challenged
Akane, though it was not until second period that Sayuri passed her a
note explaining why:
"Kuno's interrogating everyone about Kodachi.
Police called off investigation by nightfall, claiming no leads.
Whoever it was is probably out of the country by now.
Lucky you. One down, two to go.
Nabiki says you're taking the chance to really go after Ranma. ^_^
-Sayuri"
Two minutes later, the note came back with writing on the reverse side:
"Remind me to come up with something besides malleting for my sister.
Ranma's got me stuck in a rut."
And was passed back yet again:
"Would that be 'stuck in mid-rut'? Just don't let Happi see you two."
And was passed back wadded up, scoring a direct hit on Sayuri's cheek.
******
Lunch found Akane in the school's library, after quickly chowing down so
she would have the time she needed. She weaved her way to one of the
Internet terminals in the back, glancing around to see if anyone took
obvious note of her unusual presence. The bookworms who were the only
people who came here at this hour would not, she was told, notice if the
Emperor himself visited. She was sure that was severe exaggeration at
the least, but no one confronted her as she found an open computer and
settled in.
Her English was not very good, but she had been practicing with Sayuri
lately. When she let Goskungi show her this World Wide Web a few months
ago, mainly to get him to stop pestering her, she dismissed it because
almost all of the information seemed to be in English. But now, that
would provide another shield should her search topic be discovered.
Certainly, 'homemade' and 'guns' were not words most of her classmates
would recognize straight away.
As she typed in and sent the search, she wondered about her chances of
finding something useful. Goskungi claimed that any kind of information
could be found here, even things that people thought did not exist. She
knew her intent was that of an assassin, and she knew that some
assassins used guns. This would be much cleaner than Kodachi: wait
until the target is alone, make sure there are no witnesses, fire, and
run away. She did not even need to get close, so she could be that much
further away by the time anyone else saw the corpse. Not like Kodachi,
where she needed such an alibi to escape suspicion. Besides, if she was
seen near her next target at the time of death, people were bound to get
suspicious no matter what.
The first four links were for commercial sites or propaganda for some
"NRA" organization. No one would sell her a gun in person, though it
might be possible to have one smuggled in. But this would leave a money
trail, especially if she used a credit card like most online shops
seemed to demand. Trails leading to her were bad. For the same reason,
joining a gun club - assuming that was what the "NRA" was - did not seem
like a good idea.
The fifth link, though, caught her interest. A weapon that could be
fashioned out of things she could obtain. And it was just weird enough
that, if one of these were to strike down one of her rivals, it would
just be written off as another weirdo passing through Nerima.
Yes, this "potato gun" would suit her needs quite nicely.
******
Or so she thought.
Concealing a single act had been one thing, but the instructions she
printed out for constructing a potato gun involved significant activity.
To allay suspicion, she claimed to be tinkering around with a training
dummy, trying various configurations of pipe to see if any of them could
stand up to her practice. Naturally, every single attempt "failed", but
the debris made a good hiding place for her real effort. Ranma
eventually tried to help, but a quick scolding cured him of that
attitude for this project...though it did cost Akane a night, since she
took him out on a date to apologize.
Then, when she had the gun complete, she took a train to the middle of
nowhere and hiked a solid hour to make sure no one was near who might
hear her fire. As with the route home from the Kuno estate, she planned
her route through mostly open country so she could confirm no one was
following, though her destination was just inside the edge of a forest.
Quickly unpacking and doing some last minute tweaks, she picked out a
sapling at random, loaded, aimed, and fired.
Pulled the trigger, anyway.
When no potato issued forth, she inspected her work closely. The
lighter had shaken loose; easily fixed, but annoying. She shrugged,
re-aimed, and pulled-
*pop*
Akane blinked in confusion. Where was the loud roar? Where was all the
smoke? The contraption had jerked in her hands, and a few wisps of
white issued from its barrel, but it was nowhere near as violent as she
expected. Even the sapling stood unharmed, with the potato but a meter
from her feet.
She reloaded, pouring in gasoline from her canteen (the instructions
recommended hair spray, but then, the instructions also recommended
safety) to a level slightly higher than her prior shot, then picked out
a potato. She matched it to the rim of her gun, saw it would not make a
good fit, tossed it aside, and pulled out one with a better match to the
barrel. After stuffing it down to the gasoline with a rod, she took aim
again and pulled-
*BAAANG*
One of the sapling's branches had snapped clean off, and there was now
a decent sized hole in the tree behind it. Akane spent a few minutes
envisioning Shampoo in the tree's place, with the hole through one of
her oh-so-bouncy breasts. Then she spent another few minutes seriously
contemplating the best place to shoot: breast or lower might be
survivable, and Akane was not entirely sure she could penetrate a skull.
Best to aim for the neck, when she got an opportunity to fire.
******
As it happened, opportunity knocked just after she got back to Nerima.
Not even five seconds out of the train station, she spied Shampoo making
a delivery. Shampoo's route back to the Cat Cafe would take her past
Akane's position, so the neophyte gunsmith quickly checked around. A
nearby alley promised good hiding, with an empty dumpster to jump into
if she missed and Shampoo came looking. Akane eased herself into the
shadows, loaded her weapon, and waited.
She did not have to wait long. Shampoo was apparently in a hurry: upon
finishing the delivery, she bounced her bike up to the rooftops and made
a beeline back to the Cat Cafe. Akane hesitated for a few seconds, then
shrugged to herself: dead on a roof was just as dead as on the street,
and maybe she could knock Shampoo into a fall if she missed. She just
needed to aim a little higher, so she did.
*BAAAAAAAAAANG* *BANG* *bang*
The alley reflected her gun's report, fear of discovery growing in
Akane's heart with each echo. But her main attention was on something
else: Shampoo had caught the projectile out of mid-air, without even
sparing a glance in her assailant's direction, and was proceeding to
chow down on it as she pedaled off.
******
Dinner passed by in a blur. Not one hint of her failure was voiced;
did that mean no one knew, or that they were just biding their time
until punishment? She consciously tried not to be nervous, but knew
she was failing badly when she flinched away from Kasumi when her sister
bumped her while serving tea. At least the gun was back in its hiding
place...
"Hey, Akane, look what I made from your scraps!" Ranma took the
weapon from under the table. "Even if that dummy doesn't pan out, I
can use this to practice dodging and catching."
A dead faint seemed like such a good way to spend the rest of the night.
******
Next morning, on the way to school, came the question Akane dreaded.
"Alright, Akane, what's up?"
Anyone else, she could lie to. Maybe even Ranma or Nabiki alone. But
not both of them together.
She had been foolish to think she could keep the truth locked away
forever. Now, it came time to pay the price for what she had done, and
for what she had tried to do. At least Ranma would not draw it out,
when the time came for justice. He had killed before. She would not
resist, for even if she could stop him, she would have already lost any
chance of being his one and only. Besides, she now realized, for all
his faults...
"Ranma, you can be SUCH an insensitive jerk!"
....like the one Nabiki just listed...eh? Wasn't that her own line?
"Whatcha talking about, Nabs?"
"That thing was loaded and you pointed it right at her! Don't tell me
that, in all your travels, you never ONCE had any training on how to
use a gun."
"Genma said I didn't need 'em. All you do is point and shoot. And
since when did you get training?"
"I've been...overseas, once or twice. First rule: NEVER point a gun at
anything you do not mean to destroy. Your finger could've slipped, and
then I'd be out a sister."
"Slipped? You know me. Since when do I make a move I don't intend-"
"Cat."
Ranma leapt from sidewalk to the top of a nearby light pole in under a
quarter second. "WHERE?"
Despite her anxiety, Akane had to smile at the scene. "You know,
Nabiki, you make a good me when you're angry."
"I know." Nabiki shivered, though Akane could tell the emotion was
fake. "I'm a little too good at it for my tastes."
The school gates, and the start of class, spared her a resumption of the
previous topic.
******
Another lunch, another Web search. This time, 'assassination methods'
directly. She needed one that nobody would think of, and definitely not
be able to trace to her.
Page after page popped up before her eyes, and page after page was
dismissed just as quickly. While she might not have been the best
practitioner of martial arts, she knew enough to spot uninformed drivel
meant to con complete newbies, and there was a lot of it out there.
Eventually, she came to a page that did not set off her crap alarm. She
soon recognized the philosophy of the style as similar to Cologne's, at
least so far as she had deduced from what Ranma told her about Cologne's
techniques. Her gaze came to rest on a section about pressure points,
especially one on the spinal cord near the brainstem that would paralyze
the heart and lungs, though it was surrounded by points that would
stimulate sexual arousal.
"Sexual, huh? I can do sexy..."
******
"Shampoo listening, Violent Girl, but make fast."
"You don't seem to be in a good mood." At least she was in a mood to
meet Akane after school, ironically enough in the same alley that Akane
had tried to shoot her from just yesterday.
"Someone give Shampoo gasoline-flavored raw potato. Still trying get
taste out of mouth."
Akane bit her tongue to force herself to wince, covering up whatever
other emotion her face might have betrayed.
"Shampoo had worse. Shampoo got lucky: if hand not already in path,
potato might have hit. Shampoo no sure even Shampoo survive that:
potato almost like bullet. Shampoo wonder-"
"Anyway," Akane interrupted, "I'm here to surrender." She raised her
hands, currently sporting gloves on which were penned kanji for "you"
and "win".
Shampoo blinked. "No are fighting, unless mean airen. Shampoo no think
Violent Girl CAN surrender: airen decides victor, and airen staying with
Violent Girl for now."
"That won't matter. He'll have Ukyo."
"Shampoo sure Shampoo misheard that."
"Ahem. You have defeated me in combat time and again. In accordance
with your laws..." Akane leaned forward and kissed Shampoo.
Who promptly pushed her away. "Is Violent Girl now INSANE Girl? Kiss
of Death can not be revoked!"
"That wasn't the Kiss of Death."
"Shampoo no see how can be Kiss of Marria-"
Akane's second kiss cut her rival off, as her hands went to work on the
back of Shampoo's neck. Her enemy's resistance quickly melted, and
Akane soon smelled arousal. A small part of her mind noted a distinct
lack of gasoline breath, and suggested Shampoo's memories were causing
her present discomfort in that regard. Another part of her mind noted
that it soon would not matter. Yet another part noted, with mild
distress, that the other parts were actually enjoying this charade as
if it were real.
Again, Shampoo pushed away, throwing Akane's hands away from her. "No.
This wrong. Shampoo no like girls that way!"
"But you like Ranma."
"THAT DIFFERENT!"
"Is it?" Akane again reached for Shampoo, who backed away. Akane
stopped at arm's length, resting her hands on Shampoo's shoulders.
"When I first met Ranma, I hated boys. Still do. So her curse really
isn't a problem for me." Akane was surprised how husky her voice was
coming out, but hid it behind a smile.
"..." Shampoo stared, her eyes dilated and her back almost to the wall.
"Violent Girl mean want airen to be girl?'
"Well...sure. If I still wanted her."
"PERVERT GIRL!" Shampoo twisted her body to bring her fist back, ready
to strike, when Akane lashed out and punched the general area of her
target point. Shampoo collapsed like a doll with its strings cut.
"Killer Girl. Victorious Girl." Akane knelt next to her victim.
"Practice those words. You'll be cursing them a lot in the afterlife."
Seeing no response from Shampoo, Akane idly removed the body's shirt and
bra, tossing them further into the alley, and tweaked one nipple. She
frowned when Shampoo gasped: that meant she was still alive. Figuring
that the point might need a while to completely work, she removed her
victim's other garments, tossing them the same direction, then spread
Shampoo's legs apart. This done, she traced a finger from hip, across
stomach, to breast, and tweaked the nipple again. When no gasp came
from the corpse, she traced her finger up to the neck and tried to find
a pulse.
Finally, she stood up, peeling off her gloves. They might have some
traces of Shampoo's skin on them, so they would have to be burned, but
they had served their purpose: no fingerprints would be left behind.
Just before she removed her second glove, though, she frowned and knelt,
using the glove to pluck a black hair out of Shampoo's purple mane. She
would have to be more careful. A quick check found nothing else that
could be traced back to her, except maybe her saliva, and that would
almost definitely have drained into Shampoo's throat and stomach by the
time anyone found the body.
"Ok, I lied. It was the Kiss of Death."
Resisting the urge to spit on the body and ruin her untraceability,
Akane spun on one heel and walked away, trying to ignore the traitorous
wetness spreading from her own loins.
******
She was still a bit wet by the time she got home, though she thought
this would not be a problem if it were even noticed. At least, until
she stepped inside and saw Cologne talking to Ranma and Nabiki.
Ranma acknowledged her first. "There you are, tomboy. I was startin'
to get a little worried. Seems that Shampoo's dead too."
Cologne picked up where Ranma left off. "As far as I can tell, my
granddaughter had a heart attack while having a...romantic encounter.
At first, I suspected Son-In-Law..."
"...but Ranma was beating Ryoga into the ground at the time," Nabiki
finished. "I still can't believe there's people who bet against him:
he's won every challenge for the past several weeks. But, oh, well, a
fool and his money." Nabiki sniffed. "Say, Akane, did you know you've
got a stain on your-"
"Ranma. My bedroom. NOW!" Akane marched forwards and dragged her
intended off to the demanded location before anyone could make the
connection.
There are some things that are not meant for the unwashed masses.
Special things, that only a select group of individuals may ever be
allowed to glimpse. Things that, if their mere existence became common
knowledge, would unravel Destiny's careful weaving of the universe, if
only because people would then look for other such inconsistencies.
People would find them in spades, and inevitably, someone would then
pull on one of these loose threads.
It was thus a lucky break for the universe that Kasumi was out shopping
at that moment, leaving no one besides Cologne and Nabiki to see them
sweatdrop when the activities in Akane's room got vocal.
******
"Outer space. No one can hear you scream in space. I'm sure even those
two would be no exception."
Kasumi shook her head. "I don't know, Nabiki. Wouldn't that be a
little expensive?"
"Killjoy. It'd be worth it, though, if only to save mankind from...oh,
good morning, you two. I hope you managed to get some real sleep in
there, 'cause I don't think I did."
Akane and Ranma wandered, almost but not quite stumbling, down the
stairs, wide grins plastered on their faces as they leaned on each other
for support. Ranma's eyes seemed more than a little defocused, and his
smile seemed mixed with slack-jawed fear. "Good morning, sis! Say,
where's Papa and Panda?"
"Nobody has any earthly right to be that cheerful this early in the
morning."
"Aww, did you get up on the wrong side of the bed? Don't worry, it's
still early enough that you can go right back in and get up on the other
side."
"No, I didn't. Get up, that is. I don't know how Kasumi slept through
the night, but I didn't."
"Actually," Kasumi replied through a shadow of her youngest sister's
expression, "I just dreamed that I was in Akane's place. I must admit,
I'm quite jealous."
Nabiki's eyes shifted to the side, to stare at Kasumi long and hard.
"Die," she eventually muttered.
Kasumi giggled. "Anyway, I called Nodoka when I got home and Nabiki
filled me in. She was more than willing to divert Soun and Genma for
an evening, given the circumstances. They should still be at her place.
I hope you don't mind, but we figured they might overreact again and
spoil your fun."
Akane smiled even more, if that was possible. "Aww, why, thank you!
You're so considerate." She shifted Ranma to support more of his
weight. "And YOU need to work on your stamina, mister. I thought all
that martial arts training would've been good for something."
Ranma finally swung his head to face the older sisters. "Help..."
Nabiki's shell of irritability dissolved into laughter, prompted by
Kasumi's further giggles.
******
The last of Ukyo's customers for the day had just left, and Ukyo was
cleaning her shop's grill when Akane walked in, holding a bowl under one
arm. "Hey, Ukyo."
The chef jumped at Akane's words, but after casting a quick glance
around, relaxed a bit.
"You seem awfully jumpy today."
"Wouldn't you be, sugar? I mean, Kodachi's death probably had nothing
to do with Shampoo's, but that still puts you and me in the same
category as the recently dead."
Akane smiled and waved her free hand dismissively, setting her bowl on
the counter in front of Ukyo. "Here. I made this myself, just for
you."
Ukyo's eyes widened. She slowly stepped away from the bowl.
"Oh, come *on*! My cooking's gotten better! Even Ranma says so."
"That takes either a brave man or a fool, and you know Ranma's a little
of both."
"Hmph! This was supposed to be a peace offering. I've been discussing
things with Ranma, and I think we've got a good opportunity."
Ukyo calmed down a little bit, and stepped up to the counter.
"Opportunity? For what?"
"To put an end to the fighting. Even if one of us is the next to go,
which I hope we're not, at least we can die in peace knowing our
promises to Ranma will be fulfilled."
"And how do you propose doing that? He can only marry one of us."
Akane shrugged. "Simple. I'll be his wife, and you be his mistress.
Mistress *is* good enough for your promise, isn't it?"
Ukyo blinked. "Ah, well...Genma *did* promise we'd marry, but under
the circumstances, I'd be happy if Ranma-honey'd just look at me as more
than a friend."
"I think that can be arranged." Akane leaned over the counter and
whispered, "Especially if I tire him out in bed so he can't object when
you come in."
"You don't say." Absently, Ukyo reached in to the bowl, plucked out one
of the brownish lumps therein, popped it in her mouth, and chewed.
"That's technically rape, you know."
"What cop would believe a man like Ranma could be raped?"
"That's not what I meant, sugar, and you know it. The only court I'm
interested in is the one of his heart."
"Relax, would you? I'm sure I can talk him into it at the time, if he
needs convincing."
"Well...if y'all are sure."
"Mm-hmm!" Akane nodded. "See you in a couple hours at my place?"
Ukyo nodded, swallowing Akane's creation and reaching for another one.
Akane smiled, turned, and left, closing the door behind her just in time
to avoid seeing Ukyo's surprised face or hear her choking.
******
"Akane Tendo, you are under arrest for the murder of Ukyo Kuonji."
These were the last words Akane expected to be greeted with upon
returning home, but they fit with the police car parked out front and
the generally unhappy faces of the other residents, gathered near the
car.
"What are you talking about?" Akane backed away from the police
officer at first, but relented upon seeing Ranma's disapproving gaze.
"Konatsu called. He saw everything." Ranma crossed his arms. "You
tricked Ukyo into eating your cooking. She was dead by the time the
medics arrived."
"What?!? That...that was a peace offering! Just some chocolate!"
"'Just' chocolate does not contain ten percent cyanide, Miss Tendo,"
the officer replied as he handcuffed her.
Akane blinked. Perhaps she had gone a little overboard, distilling
that almond extract.
"Akane..." Ranma sighed. "Just tell me one thing. Kodachi and
Shampoo - did you...?"
"Ranma..." Akane threw off the officer, snapped the chain linking her
cuffs, and ran towards her love.
His chi was the last thing she ever saw.