[Ranma][FanFic] Girl days, Part Seven

[Rob]

Girl Days

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction

by Robert Haynie

(You're expecting me to say that these characters aren't mine,
right? Well, guess what, I'm really Rumiko Takahashi in disguise and they
ARE mine, bwahhahahah! Oh, Mister Doctor, I'm ready for my medication
now...)

Part Seven: A Date That Will Live In Infamy

####

"Who's lame idea was this anyway?" asked a rather perturbed Ranma.

Akane shrugged. Since the beach trip a few days back there had been a small shift in the dynamics of the lunacy that surrounded the redheaded martial artist. The most notable was the alteration of relations between the three 'legitimate' fiancees.

To the surprise of all three, they found that they didn't dislike
each other QUITE as much as they had. A suggestion by Ukyo that they see
if they couldn't get along better was accepted by the other two. Akane
suggested the somewhat unorthodox idea of a sleepover somewhere, and since
the dojo was pretty crowded at the moment, they decided on Ucchan's, after
closing.

Then Shampoo suggested inviting Ranma. And the other two looked
at each other, and nodded. Ranma was supposed to be training in being a
girl, so...

Which was why a certain trainee girl was walking along with Akane
carrying a change of clothes, pajamas, and a sleeping bag. And feeling
totally ludicrous, to boot.

"I swear," continued Ranma, "If Mom hadn't thought this was a good
idea I would never have agreed. This is nuts."

"Hey, we didn't invite Kodachi, did we?"

"And that's a good thing. The only one."

"Come on, Ranma, it'll be fun. You'll have a great time."

"Says you. What do girls do at these things, anyway?"

"Oh, watch a video maybe, play a few games, gossip, relax... eat
snacks..."

Ranma brightened slightly at the mention of snacks.

As they approached Ucchan's, they grew quiet. Akane was beginning
to have second thoughts-- could the three rivals (and they certainly
hadn't even pretended that that wasn't still the case) really be able to
get along in this age-old typical girl activi ty? Would Ranma enjoy
herself? Would something strange and bizarre happen to cause a calamity?

Better not think too hard on the last one.

"Nihao, Ranma, Akane," chirped a familiar Chinese voice from
inside as they entered. Shampoo was busy cooking popcorn while Ukyo set
up a TV and vcr combo. "Have romantic movie and kung-fu movie for Ranma.
So Ranma not bored all time."

"Yeah. If I can get this baka vcr to work, that is," grumbled
Ukyo.

"I can help with that," said Akane. She went to aid the chef's
attempts while Ranma placed their gear to one side.

Ranma picked up one of the tapes, and peered at it. "Gone With
the Wind", she mused. "Subtitled. Epic saga of romance and peril during
the American Civil War."

Oh, boy. THIS was going to be a snoozer.

####

Four hours later-- Ukyo hadn't known the film was THAT long--
three real girls were all teary-eyed while Ranma had been surprisingly
entertained.

"Why Scarlet girl not treat handsome bandit right? She lose him
forever. **sniff**"

"Damn right, sugar... she just kept pushing every wrong button and
kept pushing him away and when she finally had him... and chasing that
Ashley guy even though there was no chance to get him..."

"It's... it's so sad when he just walked away... so cold like
that."

Ranma coughed. "Me? I think he might come back-- or she might
find a way to get him back. Like she said, tomorrow is another day,
right? She didn't seem the quitter type to me."

Akane blinked. "You... you liked the movie?"

"Kinda. That O'Hara was one tough chick, you know. That's what
Butler was probably attracted to, not just her looks or nothin'. And she
was the only one in her family that seemed to understand that the world
had changed and you can't make it go back t he way it was. Me, the one
that made me sad was that Melanie. She reminded me of a sort of sad
Kasumi, you know."

"Is like nice nice girl. And Scarlet girl like half Amazon, half
mercenary girl."

"Hmm... weird way to put it, but that's pretty close to the mark.
Eh, Ranchan?"

"If I agree, do you promise never to tell Nabiki I did?"

The three started to giggle at that.

"Well, I guess it's kind of late to play the second tape... but
it's too early to go to bed. So, what do we do now?" asked Akane.

"Ever hear of Truth or Dare?" asked Ukyo. "It's a game they play
in America I read about. You take turns asking questions, and the person
asked either has to tell the truth or perform a dare."

"Sound fun."

Ranma had a bad feeling about this...

####

"Truth or dare. What was the most embarrassing experience of your
life?"

Shampoo thought. "Was hunting, got chased by boar. Lost bonbori,
lost spear. Boar grab shirt, Shampoo escape, but boar eat shirt. Boar
chase Shampoo, grab pants. Shampoo climb tree, boar eat pants. Stay in
tree for hours until someone from villag e find Shampoo. Was Mousse.
Stupid Mousse wear glasses for once. Got... good look at Shampoo. Brrr."

Akane giggled, and Ranma smirked while Ukyo just shook her head.

"OK, Ranchan's turn."

"OK... Akane, who's the strangest guy you know? Excepting me, of
course."

"You're the strangest GIRL I know. Strangest guy... hmm... that
would have to be Antarctica's latest resident."

(I'd have thought you'd say Tsubasa or Gosunkugi myself...) "Good
enough."

"Shampoo's turn. What Ukyo's worst cooking mistake?"

Ukyo grimaced. "I guess it was my attempt to make a new
okonomiyaki-- I was trying for a curry type-- and I accidentally grabbed
the wrong spice. Cocoa and curry don't mix very well."

(I've tried to tell Akane the same thing,) mused Ranma.

"OK. Ranma", Akane asked, eyes, gleaming, "Why do you call Ryoga
P-chan?"

Ranma froze. Honor demanded only one answer.

"Dare."

Akane blinked. Thought. And grinned. "Okay. I dare you to go
on a romantic-type date..."

The other two girls began to glower. Was she going to try to trap
Ranma even when they had agreed not to?

"With Ryoga!" finished Akane triumphantly.

Ranma boggled as the other two girls began to snicker. She
thought quickly-- and replied, "OK. But only if he asks me nicely."

Akane sighed. "I guess that's fair."

Ranma concealed a smirk. That, she felt certain of, was never
going to happen...

####

Ryoga Hibiki sighed. His bruised heart thumped in his breast as
he contemplated the irony of his accursed life.

More than once he'd wanted to ask Akane out on a date, but usually
as soon as he saw that angelic face, that perfect form, his throat would
lock up and his brain would shut down. Somehow he never could get those
particular words out right once he got a good look at--

That's it! What if he couldn't see her? At least not clearly
enough to begin to freeze up? Perhaps then he could succeed where he had
heretofore failed. Now, how to do that?

As he mused, he noticed a familiar figure. Mousse, the Chinese
master of hidden weapons. Who carried many many things in his voluminous
robes--

Including at least a dozen spare pairs of glasses.

"Mousse! Hey, Mousse-- I got a favor I wanna ask ya..."

####

Wednesday.

Ryoga stood before the Tendo Dojo's gate, a bunch of flowers in
one hand and his secret weapon in the other. It was a perfect plan, he
knew it was. It was elemental in it's simplicity, but elegant in it's
surety.

He carefully entered the dojo, and saw Akane enter the house.
Perfect.

Knocking on the door, he was admitted by Kasumi, who told him
Akane was in her room, reading. Perfect.

He climbed the stairs, looked for the duck, and smiled. Perfect.

He put on the secret weapon-- a pair of Mousse's glasses.
Instantly his vision blurred. Now her angelic face wouldn't distract him.
Perfect.

He knocked, and the door opened. A vaguely female figure stood
before him, head cocked to one side. Perfect.

"I... I've always thought you were really pretty, you know, and
well... I was wondering if you'd like to go out? I was thinking a movie,
and then dinner, and maybe a walk after that? If you would, that is?"
PERFECT!

The girl before him seemed to freeze. An indistinct murmur
emitted.

"Please? I know it's funny for me to ask you on a date, but...
please?"

"Um... sure. Be happy to."

Joy of joy! Acceptance! Akane had agr-- Wait. That wasn't
Akane's voice.

NOT perfect.

Ryoga lifted the glasses, and stared. At a door with not a duck
plaque, but a pony one. That read not "AKANE", but... No.

Not perfect at all.

He stared at a red-haired girl who looked both confused and
resigned. It wasn't possible... it wasn't...

Vastly, hugely, infinitely less than perfect.

"Well, Ranma, guess you're stuck after all," Akane said, trying to
decide weither to grin or to freak. Ranma had to complete her dare after
all... but why did Ryoga ask her in the first place? Wearing a pair of
Mousse's glasses yet? Weird.

And Ryoga Hibiki fainted as he realized he'd just asked his most
bitter rival out on a date.

####

When Ryoga came to, he thought the whole thing had been a
horrible, horrible dream. Until he saw Ranma still holding the bunch of
flowers.

"noo...." he whispered.

"Yes," replied an equally depressed Ranma.

"Why... why did you accept? You must have known I meant to
ask..."

"Stupid game." And Ranma explained the events of the previous
night.

"Arrgh... it's worse for me. I asked you... I have to go through
with it... honor demands..."

"Honor demands what?"

"That I go through with it too. After all, it's wrong for a guy
to go back on a date with a girl even if the girl's not really a girl but
only happens to be a girl at the time of a guy asking her out on a date
because she's a girl."

Ranma scratched her head, trying to decipher the last sentence.
"Um... Okay. Anyhow, how's it worse for you? How do you figure that?"

"Well, Ranma, you sure can't be much fun on a date."

"What? Look, P-chan, I can be as fun as anyone on any date. YOU,
on the other hand-- or trotter-- are going to be insanely dull."

"Oh, yeah? Well, MISS Ranma, I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm
going to win this time!"

"Hunh?"

"I'm going to show you the best time you have EVER had, and you're
going to eat those words!"

"Yeah, right! The only bright spot on this date will be me, and
you're going to beg me for another!"

"Oh, SURE I am! Friday, at seven?"

"IF you can find your way here, sure!"

"You can bet I will! And I'll sweep your arrogant butt off your
feet!"

"Hah! Remember, it's got to be a romantic date! Let's see you
pull that off! Baka!"

There was a pause.

"What are we SAYING?!?"

"Um... that... that we are going out, Ranma... Oh, MAN."

"Dammit, no going back now..."

Pause again.

"Ryoga?"

Still more pause.

"Ryoga."

Pause to insert more pausing.

"RYOGA!"

"Dammit, Ranma, I'm trying to think." Pause yet again. "And my
head hurts."

####

Akane sat in her room in a state of confusion. Why had Ryoga
asked Ranma on a date?

Then again, in Nerima, there could be any number of reasons.
Ryoga could have had a bad blow to the head and started to think that
Ranma was really a girl. Some weird magic like that koi rod or weird
Amazon potion or magical mirrors or any of a number of things could have
affected his mind. Or--

Of course. Knowing Ryoga, who didn't have a very good sense of
direction, he probably got lost and thought he was asking someone else.
Hmm... wonder who that could be? Well, after Ryoga realized his mistake,
he'd call off the date for sure, but Ranma had still accepted, which put
her one up on the trainee girl.

Akane was chuckling to herself as she planned to walk in on the
doubtless fuming pair when she froze at the door, hearing--

"So... Friday at seven, then?"

"Yeah. And Ryoga, be sure to dress nice, OK? I mean, your
traveling clothes aren't really date material."

"I know, I know. Lucky. Girls haven't any problem dressing for
something like this."

"A lot you know. I'm probably going to have to buy a whole new
dress just for this thing. I don't have anything right for a date, you
know, it hadn't really occurred to me that I'd actually BE on one."

"Oh... well, this Friday. Ja ne?"

"Ja."

Akane slumped. She was going through with it. Kami, so was
Ryoga! And Ranma was planning to buy a new dress for it, and... and...

Something was too weird for life here...

Not that that was anything new for Nerima, mind you, but the
weirdness was usually a wandering prince, aggravated demon, martial artist
of the week, or just plain paranormal insanity. THIS-- Ranma and Ryoga on
a date-- not a trick, not a plot, just a or dinary date-- was WIERD.

When Ryoga left, she would confront Ranma and-- Ranma would say
that she was following up on the dare. Okay, confront Ryoga and-- he'd
never be able to explain, he never WAS able to.

She had to talk to SOMEONE, though... but who? Nabiki? Not
unless she wanted this sold to everyone in Nerima. Kasumi? No way--
she'd nod, smile, and suggest a restaurant. Nodoka-- forget it?

Daddy? Mr. Saotome? Get REAL.

But then who... of course. Who else?

####

"AIYA! Lost boy ask Airen on actual date?!?"

"Akane-chan, that just doesn't make any sense!"

Akane nodded. "But he did-- and didn't back out. I can't see why
he didn't back out. Or why Ranma didn't, she should have... it was just a
game."

Shampoo hmmphed. "Just game to us, but to Ranma is challenge.
Ranma NEVER back out."

Ukyo mused for a moment, and added, "Might be something like that
with Ryoga also. He's stubborn as a boar, you know. Probably figures if
Ranchan is willing to go for it, he can't back out himself..."

Akane sighed. "Why is it men are so stubborn even when they are
girls?"

The others nodded.

####

"So it's a pinch mom, it's definitely a pinch. I accepted the
challenge, but I never thought it would actually come to pass..."

"It is a peculiar situation, dear. But it's not as though you're
having any real feelings for the Hibiki boy, is it? More of a game,
really."

"Yeah, but what do I do? I've never been on a real date-- at
least one that wasn't ruined by some freak occurrence-- and I never
planned my first one with Ryoga of all people..."

"You do what any young lady does, Ranma. You dress nicely, you
have a good time, you be properly attentive to your escort, and you never
kiss on the first date." Nodoka smiled, teasingly.

"That last I didn't need to hear, Mom-- Oh, CRAP."

"Language, Ranma-chan."

"Mom-- the terms of the dare was a ROMANTIC-TYPE date!"

Nodoka paused. Thought. And then said, "Well, you can kiss him
on the cheek?"

"MOM!"

####

Before Friday, there's Thursday. Even in a place as squirrelly as
Nerima.

Ranma was at the Nekohanten, undergoing her Amazon training.
Strange, complex, unfamiliar moves and techniques that were vastly unlike
anything she was used to.

Being Ranma, she was taking to them like a fish takes to tartar
sauce-- that is, not exactly willingly, but, nevertheless, very well. She
didn't mind the Amazon garb that Cologne insisted she train in, but she
hated the hairdo and wanted very much to ge t back to her preferred simple
ponytail.

"Enough, son-in-- ah Ranma." It was difficult at times to
remember that Ranma's mother didn't accept Shampoo at the legitimate
fiancee, and since she WAS Ranma's mother... that put a crimp in her
plans. The opinion of a mother was sacrosanct.

Which was the problem. Her usual methods-- aphrodisiacs,
blackmail, etc.-- were no longer applicable. She had to somehow win the
mother over to her side.

Somehow, it had never occurred to Cologne that Nodoka would
disapprove. No mother in over a thousand years had disapproved of an
Amazon wife. In fact, they would often send their sons to try to win one.

Well, if she couldn't have Ranma as an Amazon husband-- and don't
think she'd given up on that-- she could at least have her as an Amazon,
get her to promise to help the village if it was ever in danger. Or
perhaps Ranma would be the first of a new bree d of Amazons, for the
twenty-first century. Japanese Amazons, who would not have to hide in the
depths of China to keep their traditions...

"I am curious, Ranma. Your choice of weapon is... not
traditional."

"I like it. It's effective, it's damaging, and it's intimidating
as all hell," grinned Ranma, hefting what Akane called the Ran-mallet.

Cologne nodded. "There is that. But I think you should keep up
the bonbori practice also. Hmm... now, tomorrow evening, we'll start on
basic herbal techniques--"

"I can't, sorry. I have a date."

"A date? With Shampoo?" Hope springs eternal.

"No..."

"Oh, then with Akane, I suppose..." Hope then falls down.

"No, Ryoga."

Hope gets hit by a truck that's being driven by Astonishment.
"WHAT?!?"

After a short explanation, Cologne began to snicker. Giggle. And
fell off her staff laughing.

"My boy, only you could get in a scrape like that!"

"Hey, if he's on a date with me, he can't try to kill me, can he?
Besides, it's only this one time, you know. I don't like guys like that!"

"I should hope not. Still prefer the feminine gender?"

"Damn straight-- no matter what shape I'm in."

"You know, Ranma, you may be officially unique in that respect."

"Huh?" Ranma took on a puzzled look.

"Why, you're probably the first heterosexual lesbian on Earth!"

####

"Now, there's something you don't see every day, Daisuke."

"What, Hiroshi?"

"Ranma in girl form wearing a Amazon fighting uniform and chasing
Cologne with a mallet."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad I don't see that every day, myself."

####

Eventually Ranma got tired of chasing the pogo-sticking and
hysterically laughing Amazon matriarch, and went home.

To some confusion. "Ranma, why are you dressed like that?"

"Cologne requires me to dress the part when I'm taking that Amazon
training, Mom. I don't mind the clothes, but I hate the hair... so mind
if I change first?"

"Go right ahead, Ranma-chan. But I'll go with you. I have a
present for you upstairs."

In Ranma's room, Nodoka started in surprise as Ranma, prior to
undressing, withdrew the Ran-mallet, two bonbori, and a somewhat squashed
cheese sandwich from her sleeves.

"Ranma... how did you..."

"Ancient Chinese Amazon Hidden Weapons Technique. Shampoo uses it
all the time, Mousse is a master-- even Cologne doesn't know how he
carries all he can-- and I'm still learning, I can only keep it up for a
couple of hours before it starts to itch. But
I'm getting better."

"I... see," Nodoka replied weakly. Every time she thought her
daughter/son couldn't surprise her any more, Ranma would pull something
new out of her sleeve. In this case, a mallet, two bonbori, and a cheese
sandwich.

"It's pretty useful. I think I can carry a couple of extra sets
of clothes and my fighting gear that way just in case. Did you know
Mousse carries a whole cooler in his right sock? That's what Cologne
says, anyhow."

"Fascinating..."

"Anyhow, what did you want to show me?"

Nodoka shook her head and tried to get back to reality-- or what
passed for it in the Tendo household, anyhow. "Oh, it's something for
your date tomorrow. Just try this on..."

####

Akane walked up the stairs, musing. Voices from Ranma's room
caught her attention, and she knocked at the door.

"Come in," said Ranma.

And so she did. And gasped.

"Got to admit, Mom," Ranma continued the previous thread of
conversation, "This does look good on me. Poor Ryoga ain't gonna know
what hit him. Heh."

It did look good. In fact, it looked fantastic. It was a dress--
blue, off-the-shoulder styling, graceful and elegant, with a rose sash
that was perfectly complementary and just enough cleavage to make it sexy
as the devil without enough to make it tra shy or vulgar. It was, in
other words, perfect for a romantic-type date.

Akane was trying very hard not to choke.

"Well, young Hibiki seems a nice enough boy when he's not actively
trying to kill you, dear. And since this is your first date as a girl, I
thought you should have a nice dress for it."

"Thanks, Mom... I think. And I can move in it too-- which is a
plus."

"R-Ranma, that's... that's a very nice dress?" wheezed Akane.

"Arigato, Akane-chan!" Ranma said in her best kawaii-'lil-girl
tones, and twirled. "If I'm going on my first and LAST date as a girl,
I'm going to make it a good one."

"First one, Ranma?" asked Akane.

"First one that wasn't part of a plan to get an advantage over
some psycho, anyhow."

"That I'll grant."

"Why, Ranma-- what are you talking about?" asked Nodoka.

"Aw, just a very difficult time when I thought I had a shot at a
cure. Trust me, I'll never go out with HIM again, and it doesn't count
anyhow. I'm not sure you could call Kuno a HUMAN at times, much less a
boy."

Nodoka thought back to what she had seen of Tatewaki Kuno.
"You're right, it doesn't count. Now, about jewelry..."

####

To be honest, Ryoga had half-hoped he'd get lost again. The idea
of going out with Ranma was beginning to prey on his long-unravelled
nerves.

More than once Ranma had tricked him with her female self. She'd
even once convinced him she was his fiancee, for crying out loud! And he
was going on a date with her KNOWING it was really her? Him? Oh, this
Girl Days stuff was beginning to drive him
crazy!

(Author's Note-- More than one person would consider this a short
journey anyhow.)

So, of COURSE, he wound up at the Tendo Dojo right on time.

While Ryoga was ushered into the main room and offered a cup of
tea by the ever-helpful Kasumi, Ranma was having a somewhat heated
discussion with her mother.

"Aw, MOM. He's here, ain't he? I'm ready, ain't I? So why do I
got to wait five minutes before I go down?"

"Anticipation, dear. You leave the young man waiting to build up
anticipation. When he sees you after a short wait, he'll be struck
breathless--"

"Mom, I don't want him anticipating ANYTHING, and he knows I'm
really a guy, so he won't BE anticipating anything, and the only way I
want him struck is usually with my foot in his face, and... and this isn't
really a date the way you seem to think it is ."

Nodoka just smiled and nodded.

It may occur to the astute reader that Nodoka Saotome had, as did
others previously mentioned in these tales, a somewhat unusual logic
system. In her case, the idea that her son was also her daughter, that
the boy was also a girl, led to what was-- for her-- certain obvious
conclusions.

One of these being that there was nothing wrong with her daughter
going out on a date with a nice (if occasionally homicidal) boy. Perhaps
the two might hit it off, and something greater would grow from it.

For some reason, Nodoka didn't seem to consider the complications
inherent in her son/daughter becoming both a husband and a wife. In other
words, she was as loopy in her own special way as any other major player
in Nerima. She just didn't show it as o bviously except by the minor
quirk of carrying a blanket-wrapped katana around.

Well, she'd married Genma-- what can you expect?

Downstairs, Ryoga was sweating. Nabiki was peering at him with
ill-concealed amusement (By ill concealed we mean she was audibly
snickering and shaking), Kasumi was refilling his teacup with total
unconcern, and Akane... wasn't there. Soun and Genma, aggrieved at the
entire thing had gone out to do the only honorable thing they could do.
Get very very drunk.

(In charity to two great men, we won't go into their reaction to
the news of the date, save to say that Genma had sulked as a panda for
twelve hours and Soun had had to undergo rapid therapy for dehydration due
to his tears.)

After a short wait, there were footsteps heard decending, and
Ryoga looked up-- and nearly forgot to breathe.

Ranma was, basically, gorgeous. Her hair carefully styled,
free-flowing to her mid-back, a pair of dragon-shaped earrings framing her
face, and a job of makeup that should have been in a museum. Nodoka may
have been peculiar in her own way, but she kne w very well how to make a
girl look GOOD.

For a moment Ryoga almost forgot that this was really Ranma.

Almost.

Ranma raised an eyebrow herself. Ryoga was clean, neat, and
dressed in a suit and tie. He looked, in fact, pretty darn handsome.
(Although Ranma had no attraction towards males, she had developed the
ability to know what 'real' girls considered good-l ooking-- and right
now, Ryoga was just that.) She was actually impressed.

"Gotta admit, Ryoga, not too shabby. Guess this might not be such
a bad night after all."

"Ah... yeah. You look pretty decent yourself, Ranma. Well, I
guess we'd better be going, or something?"

"Sure."

And Ryoga did the single most difficult thing he had ever done
since the bakusai tenkatsu training...

He took Ranma's arm and led her to the street.

After that, for obvious reasons, Ranma did the leading.

####

Three rivals.

Three girls.

Three young suitors for the hand (and other parts) of one Ranma
Saotome.

Three people who KNEW that this so-called date was totally
innocent, meant nothing, and should just be shrugged off as another case
of weird male macho stubbornness.

But... just in case...

Three people who were, quite independently, planning to monitor
the date, for Ranma's safety, of course, they weren't going to interfere,
of course not, farthest thing from their minds, and besides, if I don't
keep an eye on them who will because I can't
trust the OTHER two to come to the rescue if Ryoga or Ranma goes
whacko...

This writer has said it before, and he shall say it again--

Chaos needs no recipe. But in Nerima, there's always an
ingredients list.

####

To be continued.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=

Girl Days

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction

by Robert Haynie

(Yeah, yeah, I know, the disclaimer bit goes here. Happy now?)

Part Seven, section two: A Date That Will Live In Infamy (And,
quite possibly, urban legend)

####

It was a beautiful evening. The sun had not yet set, but it was
just about to, and had been working up to this particular sunset for
months. It would be a sunset that romantic couples all over Japan would
remember for many many years.

The moon was also preparing to be unusually romantic this evening,
the stars were getting ready to twinkle as they had never done before, the
breeze in the trees was filled with incipient romance, and even the litter
was blowing flirtatiously.

Unfortunately, all this was wasted on the most striking couple in
Nerima at the moment, who were making their way to dinner with a tone not
of anticipation, but of resignation.

"So, where are you taking me? So I can lead you there, that is,"
asked Ranma.

"Hayashi's. It's a sushi place I know, and it's right over that
way."

"That's a police station."

"I mean that way..."

"That's a lingerie shop. I know, I shop there."

Ryoga shuddered. "Um... that way?"

"That's a public bathhouse."

"Arrgh, where IS that place?"

Ranma smirked, and pointed to the doorway behind Ryoga. "I think
we are close..."

Ryoga fumed, but kept his grasp on Ranma's arm (since it both had
the right 'look' and kept him from winding up in Osaka) and entered with
his 'date'--

And blinked at the sudden fall of confetti, sounds of bells and
horns, and cheers from the staff.

"A..ano..."

"Welcome, our Ten Thousandth customers! Tonight, everything is on
the house for you and your lovely companion! Enjoy our finest items,
please!" exulted the manager.

Ryoga sweatdropped.

Ranma... grinned.

The manager escorted them to a private booth. "Please feel free
to order anything and everything you like! There's no charge, Mister Ten
Thousand! We'll have tea here in a moment, and if you'd like anything
else to drink..."

"Um... tea's fine, right, Ranma?"

Ranma nodded.

"Well, then, here's your menus, and enjoy!"

The manager pranced off, grinning. GREAT PR, and such a lovely
couple! Besides, it wouldn't be that costly a stunt, anyway. After all,
how much could a little girl like that eat?

It has been noticed that although there are certain obvious
differences between the character of Ranma Saotome and the Slayer's star
Lina Inverse, there are also certain similarities.

Both are (when Ranma is in female form) redheads, both are rather
cute in their own ways, both are capable of destroying entire city blocks
if they get pushed too far, and both are very very good at eating.

And neither could resist free food.

"Man," whispered Ryoga. "This is a stroke of luck like I wouldn't
believe! I mean, I had enough money for this place, but not for anything
really fancy... I'm scared."

Ranma looked up from her menu and raised an eyebrow. "Scared?
What's scary about free sushi?"

"Because it's good luck. Something good is happening to me."

"I don't get it," puzzled Ranma.

"Good things don't happen to me! Getting turned into a pig, being
lost in Kyoto, getting wound up in a date with you-- these things happen
to me! Not good things! I'm not used to it!"

Ranma chuckled. "If it makes you feel better, maybe it's my good
luck, and not yours."

Ryoga actually relaxed. "Arigato, Ranma, that does make me feel
better."

Ranma shook her head, and returned to her menu.

####

She was a skilled hunter.

She was the heir to the Amazon Traditions.

She was arguably the greatest warrior of her generation of the
Jokuzetsu.

She also was, at the moment (due to an unfortunate incident with a
barber pole, a drunken sailor, a fire hydrant and a college fraternity
prank), a cat.

Shampoo didn't mind being a cat the way that Ryoga minded being a
pig. In fact, at times, she rather enjoyed it. It hadn't been her intent
to be nekofied tonight, but it actually improved her plans to make certain
that Ranma hadn't gone off the deep en d and that this was just the dare.

She entered the restaurant she had tracked the reluctant couple to
with her patented "I'm a cat, I can go wherever I want" walk. More often
than not, it worked. This time was no exception.

"Ah, what a kawaii little kitty!" enthused a girl whose sole job
was to make tea. She was, in fact, probably the best tea-maker in Nerima.
Her name was Eiko Hasagawa, and she was one of the few practitioners of
Martial Arts Tea-making (which is not the
same as Martial Arts Tea Ceremony). As a martial art, it wasn't quite in
the league of the bigger players in Nerima, but it was fine for the
typical mugger, molester, and/or wandering karate wannabe. As food-based
martial arts went, it was quite respec table.

Eiko was also a four star ailurophile. She loved cats. She had
cats on her pillows, cats on her underwear, cats on her walls, on her
sheets, on her plates, even one tattooed on the left side of her bottom.
She had everything related to cats possible e xcept a real cat. Because
she was incredibly allergic to cat-dander.

Being a typical Neriman martial artist (that is to say, at least
slightly delusional), she refused to admit that cats made her eyes water,
her nose congest, and her lungs wheeze. And they certainly didn't have
anything to do with her sudden fits of snee zing. No, she would tell
herself, she didn't keep a cat because her apartment had a no-pets clause.

But here was a poor lost kitty, all alone, probably starving,
doubtless lured by the scent of the scraps that were the natural
by-product of sushi manufacture. Well, the poor thing would be fed, or
her name wasn't Eiko.

Shampoo blinked in surprise as she was whisked up into the arms of
a girl who smelled like tea. A girl who was fairly cute, surprisingly
strong, and was wearing glasses that were almost as thick as Mousses'.
"Ooooh, kawaii kitty. Eiko will get you som ething to... to... ahhh...
ahhh...."

You don't get to be one of the premiere warriors of the Jokuzetsu
without developing a pretty effective danger sense. Shampoo's was making
her whiskers vibrate.

"AHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOO!"

The sneeze wasn't as powerful as a Mouko Takabisha, of course, but
it certainly wanted to be. It was powerful enough to cause Eiko's glasses
to slip, and for her to drop Shampoo.

Right into a sink full of very warm dishwater.

As Eiko replaced her glasses, Shampoo replaced her human form.
Unfortunately, she wasn't as yet able to replace her human garments.

Which is why Eiko screamed.

####

Ranma happily chewed on her tako-sushi-- she loved octopus-- and
sipped her tea. Across from her, Ryoga indulged himself in tuna rolls and
smiled.

"I got to admit it, I'm having a good time after all. At least a
good meal."

Ranma didn't reply, because Nodoka was always saying that it was
improper for a young lady to talk with her mouth full, and at the moment,
she had no intention of letting it get empty. So many kinds of sushi and
she could try every one of them for free.
So she just nodded and chewed with ladylike abandon.

Ryoga grinned. Even if she was really a guy, she looked damn cute
when she smiled. It was ironic, he thought. Try to take out a girl, and
disaster happens. Take out a fake girl, and suddenly everything starts
going well. He supposed that it was beca use for once there was no danger
of romance rearing it's head.

"So, how's it going, being a girl for so long?" he asked.

Ranma paused in mid-chew. She swallowed, remembering that she was
probably supposed to talk to her date or something like that. "Well, it
was pretty bad at first. But it's been three weeks, and I'm getting kinda
comfortable with it. I guess being a g irl isn't so bad when you're
planning to be, you know?"

"Hunh. So you're feeling like a girl for real, then?"

"A little... I guess I'm maybe a little more emotional sometimes,
and certain foods taste different when I'm a girl-- especially ice-cream,
you wouldn't BELIEVE the difference-- and my body has a different sense of
touch. But before you ask, I'm not get ting interested in guys or picking
up any really feminine tastes. Mom says I'm a tomboy at heart."

"Don't look like one now, Ranma." Ryoga smirked-- just a little
bit.

"Hai, I do look good. That's another thing, it used to bug the
heck out of me that I was a head turner... but now I kinda like being the
foxy type. If I gotta be a girl, I like being a hot one." She grinned,
and began munching again. Ryoga followed s uit.

After a moment, Ryoga added, "You know, when I'm a... you know,
there are differences also. My sense of smell is better, so's my sense of
hearing... and I somehow just know how to use a pig's body. Funny, isn't
it?"

"Well, Mousse has no problem flying even though he shouldn't
really be able to, and the same for Taro and Shampoo... guess the curse
lends basic abilities."

"Is that how you turned into a natural flirt?"

"Huh?"

Ryoga grinned. "Well, it is funny how you can, let's say, 'turn
on the girl' at will when you need to."

Ranma scowled. "That's just an act. It isn't really me, you
know. This is really me. Ranma."

Ryoga paused. This _was_ Ranma... a somewhat feminine acting at
times Ranma but still the old friend-foe he'd known for so long. It was
slightly disconcerting how easily she was adapting to the feminine state.

"Okay... I guess I'd never know what it was like unless I got hit
by the Nyannichuan. Which I'd personally pick in a second if I couldn't
get the right stuff. It's got to be better than being a lunch item-- oh,
good, here comes the next tray."

Ikuko was a waitress who didn't like her boss much. He paid well
enough, and he was polite, but he was also very very much into the
Japanese work ethic-- meaning he worked everyone hard, and pinched pennies
wherever it wouldn't affect the quality of ser vice.

And right now her boss was in a state of shock. His PR stunt was
costing him somewhat more than he'd expected.

I mean, the guy had an appetite-- that was to be expected. But
the girl-- she was a bottomless pit! Seven trays so far and no sign of
slowing down... it was amazing!

And, from Ikuko's point of view, amusing also. Every time she
came in with the next order from booth D, the manager's eye would twitch.
He could well afford it-- the restaurant was anything but hurting-- but
still, it was not quite as cheap advertising
as he'd thought it would be.

As she laid the trays of vinegared rice and seafood down, and
replaced the wasabi and shogi, she asked if everything was all right.

"Oh, Hai," Ranma replied, activating her 'Look at Me, I'm the
cutest thing since they invented bunnies and duckies' expression. "It's
all so very good, and there's so many kinds! I want to try them all!"

(Hell of an act, that,) thought Ryoga, grinning internally.

Ikuko sweated a little bit. The restaurant served over 150
varieties of sushi and other tidbits. "A-All?"

"She can do it," added Ryoga. "She's an... athlete, and burns
calories really fast. So she never needs to worry about her figure."

Ranma nodnodnodded. "Hai! And Ryo-chan is the same, too! But he
won't try everything. He won't try the pork things. He doesn't eat
pork."

"Oh?"

"Um... I'm, well... I have a ..."

"He's a Rabbi."

Ikuko blinked.

"Um, hai, that's it. First Synagogue of Judaic Shinto. That's
why I'm sticking with the tuna rolls..."

"Oh... well, here they are."

As Ryoga bit into another roll (which, by the way, does happen to
be technically kosher), there was a scream from the kitchen. Instantly he
and Ranma tensed, preparing, if need be, to leap into action.

Instead, they found themselves staring at an unscheduled floor
show.

All eyes turned to the somewhat spectacular sight of an au naturel
Shampoo, desperately trying to cover herself (even she could be
embarrassed in THIS situation) while dodging a panicky tea-maker who was
wielding a six-foot long ladle in one hand, while throwing armor-piercing
teabags with the other. While some patrons gawked, and others panicked,
Ranma and Ryoga... commented.

"Teabags? How'd she throw a teabag through the wall?"

"Must be like your bandannas, I guess."

"Hmm... and that ladle style is a little like Ukyo's. Related
school?"

"Maybe. Humm... 'Hot Teakettle Bomber Attack", did she say?
Looks uncomfortable."

"Shampoo seems to think so. Wonder why she's streaking in a sushi
restaurant anyway?"

"No idea. Hey, why aren't you getting your usual nosebleed?"

"Because I can't believe I'm actually seeing this. It must be
something funny in the fish."

"Then how come I'm seeing it too?"

Ryoga paused, evaluated the facts, and passed out.

(Damn-- I shouldn't have pointed that out,) Ranma realized.

Shampoo managed to get to the door just as a passing car hit a
puddle and returned her to her feline state. A moment later, a furious
Eiko stepped out, and snarled. "Damn perverted girls. That's the fourth
one this week!"

She stormed back into her kitchen wondering why the heck all the
exhibitionists came into HER place of employment.

She would never know that in addition to being nearly as blind as
Mousse and allergic to cats, she was also cursed as the result of
Happosai's attempt to cast an "Attract Beautiful Naked Girls To Me" spell
on himself. It had misfired, and Eiko was the r ecipient of it's dubious
benefits. That had been about six months ago, and she was pretty fed up
with it by now.

As she entered the kitchen, the manager sighed. It was annoying
to have these naked girls keep popping out of nowhere, true-- but it
certainly bought in the college and high-school crowd. And Eiko could
handle them.

A moment later, Ryoga woke to find Ranma dabbing his head with a
damp cloth and wiping the thin trickle of blood from his lip with a
napkin. "You okay?"

"Um.... yeah, thanks Ranma... did... did that really happen?"

"Yeah. 'Fraid it did."

"Man... I wonder what was going on?"

"Who knows? This is a strange town, you know. For once, it isn't
anything to do with us. Hey, Ryoga, you gonna eat that takuwan?"

"Naw... you can have it."

####

As they made their way to the movie theater, a happily stuffed
Ranma kept a equally happily stuffed Ryoga from getting lost. Neither
noticed the figure in the shadows that followed them.

Ukyo was damn pleased with her choice of disguise. A careful
easy-to-wash-out dye job had changed her hair from it's usual dark color
to a platinum blonde. Or more accurately, blond, since her own special
brand of crossdressing was in full force, and s he looked like a run of
the mill bishonen male in a gray trenchcoat walking down the street. A
fake cigarette and carefully applied makeup to simulate a case of five
o'clock shadow completed the disguise, causing her to look a lot like a
pretty-boy versi on of Sam Spade.

Of course, she trusted Ranchan implicitly. Except when he was
around other women when she wasn't there, of course. But certainly she
didn't have to worry about her being around other MEN.

Better safe than sorry, though. Ryoga could be a jackass at
times, and he'd been fooled by Ranma so often he might just fool himself.
And somehow Ranma was acting too casual about this whole date thing,
and...

All right, maybe she was just a WEE bit worried. Besides, she
hadn't been out to the movies in a while.

Ryoga and Ranma looked at the list of films with minor interest.
"What about that one?"

"Seen it."

"Eww... not that one, I may be a girl right now, but not THAT much
of a girl."

"You said it. Snoozer for sure. What about this one?"

"Hunh... Gone with the Wind? Saw it a couple of days on video.
At the sleepover, in fact. Pretty good, but it lasts for four hours..."

"Okay... Hey, a horror flick... Hellraiser 2. Heard some pretty
good things about this one."

"Sounds like a choice. Let's go."

As Ukyo-kun got close enough to hear them, she heard them choose
the horror film. And her heart sank. Because EVERY girl-- even girls who
were legally boys-- KNEW the reason a boy took a girl to a horror film was
to hope she'd get scared and hold onto him during the scary bits so he
could tell her it was all right and hold her close and...

But this was Ranma and Ryoga, and something like that couldn't
happen, could it?

Well... best to make sure.

Entering, Ryoga bought the required things for movie watching--
large sodas, popcorn, candy, and the like. He was pleased that he had a
lot more money than he'd thought he would. And knowing Ranma, even after
the remarkable amount of sushi, yakitori, r umaki, and other delicacies
she'd packed away, there would still be a jumbo popcorn to vacuum up. And
the soda. And the candy. Better get extra Pocky too, he thought.

They carefully took seats near the middle of the theater... all
the way in front didn't let you see the film well, and in back was for
'real' couples who would be using the theater for something they just
plain would never do. As they arranged themselve s in their seats, Ranma
noticed that the floor was-- as all movie theaters tend to be-- a bit
sticky in some parts and slippery in others. She hated that.

A blond 'male' took a seat about three rows back.

A white cat with pinkish-purple highlights in it's fur entered,
unseen, and began to seek it's prey. And not a tweety bird, either.

The movie began.

About a half hour into the film, many girls HAD clutched their
significant others in squeals of fright at the horrific film.

Ukyo was desperately wishing she was here as a girl with Ranma--
or nearly any other male-- to hold onto. This was SCARY.

Shampoo was watching from under a seat, and every single hair of
her fur was raised. It took all her self control to keep from rushing up
to Ranma and hiding her head in the trainee girls lap. This was worse
than Hibachan's ghost stories.

Ranma and Ryoga munched popcorn and watched with fascination.
DAMN, these American filmmakers could create scary stuff. Fun too. Pity
girls didn't appreciate it.

A teenage boy behind the couple was watching both the movie AND
the couple with fascination. He'd never seen a girl so calm at a flick
like this before. They were very quietly whispering... whispering... and
his eyes widened as he heard WHAT they were whispering.

He'd hoped to get a giggle out of lover's chat. That's not what
he heard. What he heard was...

Not words of affection, not terms of endearment, but...

"That thing with all the chains remind you of anyone we know?"

"Sure does."

Someone they know? That... that horror with the chains and hooks
and... someone they KNOW?

The image in the boy's head was not the one in the Odd Couple's
head. They were thinking of a slightly humorous parallel in attacks by a
certain Chinese Hidden Weapons Expert and a certain pin-headed Cenobite.

The image in the boy's head would have given Clive Barker the
chills-- because he came to the conclusion that this meant there WERE such
things as on the screen... and these people knew about it...

"Ewwww. That was gross."

"Yeah. 'Course, we've seen things that could do worse."

The boy began to freak out very very quietly. What kind of people
were these? What sort of hellish arts did they practice to take this
terrifying piece of cinema and treat it as though it were a documentary?
A DULL one?

"It's the thing with the box I don't get."

"Ryoga, I saw tons of boxes like that back in China.'

Ranma was talking about puzzle boxes of a completely innocent
nature, of course. But the boy didn't know that-- and wasn't in the right
emotional state to make that connection anyhow.

"It's creepy, yeah, but it's not really true horror to me. I know
true horror..."

"Yeah, I know. I know. You've seen Hell."

"Well, I HAVE."

Mister Eavesdropper took that literally. And sank back into his
seat, no longer impressed by the movie, which had taken a distant second
to the monsters in front of him.

Seen Hell. The guy with the bandanna had actually seen Hell. The
girl took it in stride. Chinese demon puzzle boxes-- tons of them.
Chains. Things worse. What could they be?

Were they demons of some terrible sort? Spies from the true
hells, checking out immortal souls to steal? Did they come to this
movie-- this now frighteningly accurate movie-- to get tips on how to
torture souls?

And if so, who could possibly help? Who did he know who could be
of any help against such terrible creatures? Who could-- of course! The
only person he knew of in all Nerima who would know about such things!

His cousin, Hikaru Gosunkugi! He'd listen to cousin Ichiro!

Now, all he had to do was to sneak out without attracting the
attention of the two fiends...

And that's how he stepped on Shampoo's tail.

Shampoo yowled.

Ranma's eyes went WIDE as she heard a c-c-c-feline sound.

Shampoo buried her claws in Ichiro's calf.

Ichiro yowled, screamed, and panicked.

A lot of nerves were on edge at the film already. The sudden
screaming set off a lot more screams, most of them female, but not a few
male ones as well.

Ukyo saw a figure rise up screaming behind Ranma. She knew of two
reasons why people screamed-- from fear or from rage. The movie was
scary, but not THAT scary, so she assumed rage-- and since rage was
usually directed at Ranchan...

Ranma grabbed Ryoga's hand and started to leave the theater. She
was NOT going to stay around any c-c-you know what's.

Ryoga was staring at the apparition behind him that reminded him
oddly of someone he thought he might have met once but couldn't put a
finger on it.

Ukyo launched herself at the attacker before realizing that she
hadn't her main spatula with her.

The commotion began to spread and near everyone in the theater was
in a panic. Except Ukyo who was in a righteous (but misdirected) fury and
Shampoo who was in a righteous (And precisely directed) fury.

Ichiro oofed as a mysterious figure in a trenchcoat attacked him.
Then he screamed even louder.

Ranma and Ryoga were out in the lobby by now.

"There was... was... a c-c-c..."

"I heard. But I don't get what happened after that... well, the
movie's a bust. Guess we'll go for the walk now?"

"Y-yeah. Gotta forget that... that..."

Ryoga never really understood Ranma's ailurophobia, but he DID
know it could lead to disaster. "I'm sorry we didn't get to finish the
movie. I was enjoying it."

"Well, maybe we can see it sometime on something that's not a date
at all but just two guys watching a movie."

"Yeah, rent the tape or something."

"L-let's go... I think I can hear the c-c-cat coming this way..."

Inside the theater, things had done what things tended to do in
Nerima. Which is to say, deteriorate into unbridled chaos for no easily
apparent reason. The focus of said chaos seemed to be a spindly sort of
fellow being attacked by a detective and a c at.

####

Akane sat musing in the park. She'd originally planned to follow
Ranma and Ryoga on their "date", but had had second thoughts about it.

Ranma had often complained that she didn't trust her. Well, she
didn't-- but some events recently had made her wonder if that mistrust was
justified.

Ranma wasn't a peeper, she realized. In fact, unlike most boys,
she-- no, in this matter he-- reacted to the female form unclad (or barely
clad) not with lechery, but with embarrassment. Because Ranma to some
extent understood.

Ranma was honorable, also. Overly so, she thought. Why else
actually go through with such a stupid dare as this?

Ranma was stubborn. But then again, she admitted reluctantly, so
was Akane Tendo sometimes.

Sometimes she almost...

She looked up to see two figures approaching on a pathway. And
she recognized them.

(Oh, NO! Ranma will think I was following her-- I have to hide!)

Seeking a convenient bush, Akane did exactly that.

Ranma and Ryoga paused in thier not-exactly-romantic stroll, and
took seats on a park bench that happened to be just in front of a certain
bush.

"Well, it's been mostly fun except when it was wierd," Ranma said.

"Yeah. Who'd think it?"

"Hai. You ain't so bad when you aren't trying to kill me." Ranma
giggled a bit at that.

"Well... all right, maybe you aren't such a jerk when you aren't
working at it."

There was a pause.

"It's nice to be able to talk to you and have you listen for
once," added Ranma.

"Huh?" Ryoga blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, usually you're attacking me because you got some idea that
I'm doing something which I'm not doing. Seems like that's the story of
my life-- no-one ever listens to me or my side of things."

In the bushes, Akane gulped.

"Well... Okay, maybe I do act a little impulsively once in a
while. Tell you what-- I'll try from now on to hear you out?"

"That would be great, Ryoga."

"And THEN I'll kick your ass all over Nerima."

"You can TRY." Ranma giggled again, and this time Ryoga joined
her.

"I wish people listened more often, though," Ranma added a bit
somberly. "Akane especially. I get into so many scrapes with her because
she just won't listen-- and even when she does it's automatically got to
be my fault no matter what because I'm Ranm a. It's been getting a little
better recently, but..."

In the bushes, Akane shed a silent tear. Did Ranma really think
that way about her? And... was Ranma right?

But... how could all the things that happened to Ranma not be her
fault? Innocent coincidence? THAT often? She'd have to see it to
believe it--

"OW!"

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Got something in my eye," complained Ranma. "Cinder or
something, I dunno..."

"Here-- let me take a look. Hmm..."

Akane stared. This was exactly the sort of thing Ranma was
talking about. If she hadn't heard what Ranma had just said, she'd think
they were about to--

She had seen it.

Maybe she could believe it.

"AIYAH! LOST BOY NO KISS RANMA!"

"RANCHAN! WE'LL SAVE YOU FROM THAT PERVERT!"

Two heads snapped around and in unison proclaimed, "No-- it's not
what it looks like--"

Then it degraded to a frantic Ryoga dancing around a
trenchcoat-wearing blond Ukyo who had retrieved her battle-spatula, and
Ranma trying to avoid a glomp-attempting Shampoo.

"Shampoo save Airen from pervert lost boy!"

"What are you talking about?!?"

"You can't kiss Ranchan, you-- you jackass!"

"She had something in her eye! That's all!"

"Shampoo heard that one before!"

"I DID have something in my eye!"

"Ranchan, you don't have to defend this maniac!"

"Who are you calling a maniac? And who are you anyway and why do
you have Ukyo's spatula?"

Akane stared in complete amazement. And erupted from the bush,
yelling, "Leave them alone! You're wrecking their date!"

Probably not the best choice of words.

"Pervert girl WANT lost boy kiss Ranma?!?"

"Akane-chan, have you gone out of your mind?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Akane screamed in embarrassment. Was
this how Ranma felt? It wasn't fun.

While the two rescuers stared at Akane, who was trying very hard
not to explode, Ryoga and Ranma glanced at each other, nodded, and
suddenly scooped up Akane and took to the rooftops.

Ukyo and Shampoo stared after them frozen in confusion.

"You know, sugar, I think we may have missed something here."

"Shampoo think we miss lots."

####

The Tendo Dojo. Late evening. Stars twinkled in the sky, the
moon shone bright, and three martial artists landed in the courtyard.

"I can't believe they thought I was going to..." Ryoga said.

"I can't believe they thought I would let you," added Ranma.

"I can't believe they thought I'd want you to..." murmured Akane.

"Somehow we should have know it would be inevitable," Ranma
opined. "Well, I guess the dare's over, and so's the date."

"Not very romantic-type, was it?" smirked Akane. "I'm not sure it
counts."

And Ranma thought back to her conversation with her mother earlier
in the week, walked up to Ryoga, leaned up a bit, and gave him a peck on
the cheek. "Now it does," she retorted, and walked into the house.

Both Akane and Ryoga stared dumfounded. And then Akane went into
the house to try to get an explanation for THAT, and Ryoga just stood
there...

And sighed. Well, it had been an interesting night, anyhow.

####

End part seven.

####

Author's note-- Nothing like a classic Takahashi misunderstanding
fest, is there? And Ichiro Gosunkugi will appear again with his cousin
next time... heh.