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[Ranma][Fanfic] Destiny's Wish, Part Twenty-Two

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Mike Koos

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Dec 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM12/19/97
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He forced himself to look at the picture.
That... *womanizer*! Tendo Ayumi had lost his mind, believing
himself to be a cat, and kissed her. Kissed *Ranma*. Full, and on
the lips.
He'd snapped a picture of the moment, so that he would never
forget it. It was all there for him to see... the horror evident in
Ranma's eyes and paled face. The cat-like smile on Ayumi's lips.
Tendo Ayumi had crossed the line.
Hikaru quivered with anger as he memorized Ranma's stunned
expression. "*Evil*, *wicked* Tendo Ayumi! How *dare* his confused
mind decide he should lay a hand on poor, innocent Ranma!"
He prepared to drive a nail through Ayumi's face in the picture.
He would drive a hundred nails through a hundred copies of the
picture, if that was what it took! With the negatives he could do
anything... "Evil, wicked Tendo Ayumi!" Hikaru pounded. "Evil,
wicked Tendo Ayumi! Evil, wicked--"
Someone's fist reached out from behind him to drive in the nail
with a single knuckle-punch.
Hikaru turned... and found the blazing anger in the eyes of
Hibiki Ryomi.

Destiny's Wish
Part Twenty-Two: Why Does It Always Have to be Me?
written by Mike Koos
------------------------

Ayumi was incredulous. "I *kissed* Ranma? What in the world
are you talking about, old man?"
Soun had found Ayumi in the dojo, running through a few
fast-paced training exercises to work off his anxiety. "Don't take
that tone of voice with me, young man," he admonished Ayumi. Ayumi
took a seat on the floor to rest and his father followed suit. "I
was there. I, and everyone else saw you kiss her... and I must say,
it's about time you showed some initiative. Even if you were under
the influence of the Nekoken at the time."
Ayumi frowned. "You're nuts! This is just some dumb trick to
get me and Ranma to--"
His rant was interrupted by a loud rumbling.
"What the...?" From Ayumi and Soun both.
A hand burst forth from the floor just short of Ayumi's lap to
yank him down by the collar. The next thing he knew, Ryomi and
Hikaru were stepping out of a hole in the floor.
Hikaru grinned, though he wasn't entirely sure why. "Oh,
*hello*, Tendo-kun! Fancy meeting you here!"
Ryomi still held him by the collar, cutting off his circulation,
so Ayumi tried to shift himself hoping he might find a way to breathe
easier. "What do *you two* want?" he growled in between gasps for
breath.
"SHUT UP!" Ryomi howled, her face reddening in anger and
embarrassment. "You think I'll let you get away with--"
"Get away with what?" he asked, wrenching himself free. When it
came to Ryomi, the cause of her anger could be almost anything.
Ryomi shoved a fresh copy of Hikaru's picture in his face. For
the first time, Ayumi saw proof of what he had done.
He *had* kissed Ranma. Those were his lips meeting hers. A
kiss she obviously hadn't expected...
"Sorry to be lurking underneath your floors like this," Hikaru
apologized to Soun.
Ryomi aimed a punch at Ayumi's chest, but Ayumi successfully
dodged it, heading for the entrance to the dojo. "It's a lie! I'll
bet you had camera-geek there make that picture up, didn't you?" he
yelled.
Before he reached the door, however, the tip of a wooden sword
slashed through the thin wall nearest to him, heading straight for
him.
Kunou furiously tore a new doorway in the wall. "*Tendo*...!!
You are BEYOND forgiveness!"
"Ku-Kunou..." stammered Ayumi.

"Sheesh - why can't all these losers just LEAVE ME ALONE?"
Ayumi trudged along the street, using a sawed-off broom handle
he had found as a makeshift cane. Kunou and Ryomi - though it hadn't
been their intent - had double-teamed him and beaten him severely.
And his father, and Hikaru... oh, they stood back and *watched*. Dad
would probably say that defeats were good to teach one what he or she
was doing wrong, and to keep one's pride from going to one's head.
An object lesson.
There was a slight breeze in the evening air. He paused every
so often to look up at the stars or moon, or listen to someone's dog
baying.
He pulled himself through the pale circles of light formed by
the overhead street-lamps slowly, so that he would not forget the
pain. "I don't remember kissing her, and I'd certainly never..."
Wait.
Ayumi mentally reviewed the evidence. First, he'd awakened
after succumbing to the Nekoken implanted head-first in the high-dive
board above the Fuurinkan High swimming pool. Cats certainly didn't
go around creating holes in diving boards with their heads.
Ranma had avoided him since his transformation, as far as he
knew.
And now, a picture of him kissing Ranma, something he wouldn't
have done on purpose were he in control of his mind and body.
He closed his eyes, imagining how Ranma must feel at this very
moment. "I'll bet Ranma's really ticked off......"

Dr. Tofu sized up the expression on Ranma's face. "Is something
the matter, Ranma-chan?"
Startled, Ranma lifted her head. "Eh...?"
There were very few people Ranma could turn to for the purpose
of talking about her problems; she was the only girl in a household
consisting mostly of men and boys. She knew she could count on her
friends to listen, to relate to the problems she faced - although
they each had to admit that the predicaments Ranma occasionally wound
up in were more unusual than most.
As time passed Dr. Tofu had allowed herself to act as a stand-in
mother and friend for Ranma, someone who could help her find
solutions to her problems... or at the very least, be someone young
Ranma could confide in.
Ranma had come here tonight for that very purpose, though she
was too embarrassed by everything that had taken place to tell Dr.
Tofu about it.
"Come on, I can tell by the way you're acting that something's
bothering you." The doctor liked to believe she knew her
pseudo-daughter well enough to accurately gauge Ranma's feelings.
Ranma blushed slightly, waving a free hand before her as a
distraction and offering an uneasy laugh. "Ah... eh-heh... there's
nothing bothering me, Tofu-sensei! Nothing at all."
"...Okay," shrugged Tofu. It was difficult to get Ranma to talk
about something if she wouldn't admit there was anything wrong. "But
remember, if you want to talk about it, you know where to find me."
Ranma hid her face behind her cup of tea, sipping slowly.
<Hmm... is it that obvious? Why am I feeling this way?> She paused.
<Because everyone thinks... Ayumi and I are...>
The more she thought about it, the more it angered her. <Hmph!
This is all Ayumi's fault.>
She stood with resolve. "I think I'd better be going home now,"
Ranma said, thanking the doctor for the tea. <And he'd better not be
there when I get back!>
Ranma walked over to the clinic's entrance and slid the door
open... just as Ayumi was preparing to do the exact same thing from
the opposite side of the door.
Their eyes met momentarily while the blood rushed to their
faces. "Uh..." Ayumi fumbled, then fell silent. They let their
gazes drop to their feet.
Dr. Tofu rounded the corner, coming into the lobby. "Oh, good
evening, Ayumi-kun," she smiled.
She noticed that Ranma and Ayumi were standing about a foot or
two apart, unable to bring themselves to look at each other.
<Nothing bothering her, hm?>

"That's odd," Dr. Tofu said while applying a bandage to Ayumi's
cheek. "Usually, the two of you aren't this quiet..."
They were almost silent, in fact. Ranma stood a slight distance
apart from them, in front of the changing screen. She kept her hands
locked tightly before her, her feet pointed somewhat toward each other
and her gaze lowered, as though she were ashamed to look into anyone
else's eyes.
Ayumi was also reticent... though he was more willing to bring
his head up for Dr. Tofu to examine him. Tofu thought briefly about
asking Ayumi about whatever it was that involved both him and Ranma.
Would Ayumi tell her what Ranma was too embarrassed to talk about?
"Delivery for Doctor Tofu Orisa!" she heard a voice call from
the waiting room.
A delivery, this late in the evening? Hmm... questioning Ayumi
would have to wait. "Ha-i!" she answered. "I'll be right back,"
Tofu told Ranma and Ayumi, heading for the door. "Don't go
anywhere." As if they could bring themselves to do that.
They allowed a long, tense minute pass between them without a
word.
Ayumi was the first to speak. "Ah... ano......"
He exhaled, and began again. "I apologize."
Ranma gasped. She turned to look at him. "You know... what you
did?" Her voice faltered; she hoped Ayumi hadn't noticed the slip.
"Well..." Ayumi's expression became sheepish. "Not all of it.
I just want you to know that I'd never... well, you know..."
The cursed girl hesitated.
"When I change like that I never remember anything I've done."
How convenient. She clenched a fist behind her back to help
keep her anxiety in check. "Oh. I see... so, this could've happened
to anyone, right?"
"Huh?"
In the waiting room, Dr. Tofu thanked the deliveryman and set
her package down on the counter to unwrap it. <The label says this
is from China. Wonder what it is?>
The box was empty.
<That's odd...>
She found a hole punched in the bottom of the box. <Something
was in here and chewed its way out. But... that can't be right.
There aren't any air holes in this box. And it was wrapped in brown
paper, too.>
<...I'd try to break out, too, if I was trapped in a box with no
air.>
"What d'you mean by 'this could've happened to anyone!?'"
Ayumi's temper was starting to return. Was Ranma insinuating he was
lying?
"Figure it out."
Unknown by either of them, a cat watched them argue from atop a
tall bookshelf, hidden behind boxes of spare bandages and cloth masks.
Ayumi tensed. "Do you seriously think I did any of that on
purpose?"
"Cats are supposed to be *smart*."
The cat grimaced.
"What would you have done if I accidentally kissed a different
girl?"
"Well, at least THEN you wouldn't've embarrassed me as much!"
"This is all about you, huh?" countered Ayumi.
"And don't you forget it."
He advanced. "Why, you--"
Ranma brought a fist up to his face. "Don't even think about
it! I KNEW you were lying to save face! I REALLY hate you!"
"Yeah!?" Ayumi said, for lack of an interesting comeback.
"Well, you are so not cute that--"
"Oh, get out of my face, you coward! You can't even act like a
man!" she yelled. "I'm sick and tired of your excuses, and I'm sick
and tired of sticking up for you! Why don't you just GROW UP?" And
with that, she place-kicked him through the closest wall.
Dr. Tofu returned to the room and stepped in front of the hole.
"Hmm... I don't remember a window here..."
Ranma was doing her best not to scream in frustration,
muttering, "Ayumi no baka!!"
The cat narrowed her eyes.

Ayumi went straight home and closed himself in the bathroom to
take his bath.
"Hmph, she's got some nerve!" Ranma wasn't around, so he could
bad-mouth her as much as he wanted. "She's supposed to have a brain.
Why doesn't she use it?"
He yanked off his shirt and jeans. "I try to be nice and
apologize for accidentally kissing her, and..."
<"Don't even think about it! I KNEW you were lying to save
face! I REALLY hate you!">
<"Oh, get out of my face, you coward! You can't even act like a
man!">
Ayumi considered Ranma's words. <...But she's got every right
to be mad...>
He had almost made it to the shower door when the cat that had
eavesdropped on his last argument strolled into the room. It was an
unusual cat, wearing sets of small bells secured to small tufts of
fur on each side of her head. Her fur was a peculiar shade of white
with patches of solid gray covering her ears, paws and the end of her
tail.
Ayumi screamed. A cat!? "Ah... ah... ah...... Waaah!"
The cat edged him backward into the tub full of hot water, and
pushed Ayumi in. Both Ayumi and the cat went under the surface of
the water.
In all of his frantic flailing, Ayumi could have sworn he saw
the cat *changing form*...
He surfaced. An instant after that a familiar face rose from
the water.
Ayumi froze. Across from him, less than a foot away from him, a
completely nude Shampoo settled back into the water - but not enough
to hide her chest. Apparently, Shampoo wasn't as modest as Ranma or
Ryomi.
He finally found his voice, trying to keep his nose from
bleeding. "Sha... Shampoo...?"
Shampoo grinned. "Niihao!" she greeted him in her usual
cheerful manner.

Ranma paused in the foyer to exchange her tennis shoes for her
house slippers. She pursed her lips, lingering anger at Ayumi
continuing to darken her thoughts. <Ayumi no baka. Ayumi no baka.>
She heard the soft touch of her slippers against the aged wood
floor. <Maybe I was too hard on him,> she reconsidered. <I guess it
really could have happened to anyone.>

Shampoo clasped her hands to her chest. "Ayumi, I'm so happy to
see you!" her eyes glimmered.
Ayumi was still making an attempt to sort through this new
development to notice how much better Shampoo's Japanese had become.
"Shampoo... YOU were that cat...?"
Hot water... a Jhusenkyou curse, then. That made it a grand
total of three girls out to get him one way or another, all of them
with their own personal curses. Ranma, Ryomi and Shampoo... and each
didn't readily care for the other two.
The girl from China gleefully hugged him, causing his nose to
spurt blood. "This is great!"
Ranma threw open the door to the bathroom. "Hey - I thought I
heard--"
The sight of Ayumi and Shampoo together in the bath greeted her.
Ayumi brought up a hand - whether to foolishly try to hide his face
or wave at her like a complete idiot, he hadn't yet decided.
She ran out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

** ** **

"SHUT UP! I'm NOT done talking!"
Ranma angrily yelled a retort at Ayumi, but he refused to
listen. "I told you, this is all just a big misunderstanding!"
Yeah, sure it was. Pity he was the only one who believed that.
Ranma shook her fists and yelled something else he didn't bother
to listen to.
"That's the way it happened. So there's no way you can argue
about it!" he replied, calmly slapping her.
Ayumi smirked as the daydream ended. "Perfect! Now I'm
prepared for anything!" He had tried to be fully prepared, at any
rate; the debris lying on the ground around him implied he had even
guessed Ranma might wield her trademarked mallet or another weapon
against him. When it came to Ranma, anything *was* possible.
He cleared away the debris. "There's nothing she can say
that'll surprise me. I'm ready for any of her stupid responses!"
The next step was to find her. Hmm... he recalled hearing
Kasuga say that it was Ranma's turn to water the plants in the garden
today. That, then, was where she would be.
Ayumi ran up to her. "RANMA!!!"
She looked up at him and smiled. "Ah, Ayumi-kun, ohayou," Ranma
said, liltingly.
This was one possibility Ayumi had not prepared for. "Eh...?"
Ranma went on with her watering, still wearing the same casual
smile.
"Umm...," Ayumi reached a hand behind his head. Maybe this was
going to be easy after all. "You remember... about what happened
last night...?"
"What happened?" An innocent question.
He tried a similar smile. "You know, what happened in the bath?"
Ranma turned to face him. "Oh, that? Don't worry!" She
brought the watering can down on his head, letting the water spill
all over him before place-kicking him once more into the skies.
"It's not like I'm upset or anything!"

The watering can fell from Ayumi's head as he sailed over
several houses, scaring two birds flying past at a lower altitude.
"Idiot. That tomboy is *so* not cute."
Peripherally, he noticed a small shape bounding across the
rooftops below, coming his way... "Huh?" It rapidly converged on the
spot where he had been, as Ayumi brought his legs up and around to
flip roughly out of the way. Ah, but grace in martial arts was more
Ranma's concern than his. There were no points to be had for
gracefulness when an opponent was beating you into a bloody mess.
Both he and the unknown attacker landed opposite each other on
the reinforced crest of a house. It was here that Ayumi had his
first clear view of the attacker. A rather elderly, shrunken woman,
in his opinion, perched at the top of a gnarled staff readily three
times her height. She was dressed in Chinese robes; a mane of gray
hair also longer than her, unless she was making a deliberate effort
to conceal her true height beneath those robes.
<Chinese robes? Bet she's got something to do with Shampoo
coming back.> If she did, it would be foolish not to prepare for
another attack.
He shifted to a defensive stance. "Who are you, and what do you
want?" he asked, fixing his gaze on his opponent.
A knowing look crossed her face. "Do not concern yourself with
me... son-in-law." She laughed heartily aloud as she turned to bound
away. "Until we meet again!"
Ayumi let her depart without saying a single word. He had a
slightly more confusing issue occupying his concerns, now. "Son...
in-law...?"

** ** **

It was nearly lunchtime when Ayumi returned home.
"Ayumi?" Kasuga looked surprised, after greeting him at the
front door. "Sorry, I thought you were the ramen deliveryperson. I
didn't know you'd gone out."
Ayumi scowled. "It was all Ranma's idea."
Kasuga understood. "Ah. I see."
There was another knock at the door. "Ramen delivery!!"
A girl's voice. Ayumi brought a hand up to cover his face in
disbelief. <It can't be. No, not her!>
"Ayumi?" Kasuga instinctively glanced back at where he had last
seen his younger brother. "Would you get the door while--" But Ayumi
had disappeared. <Where did he go? Oh, well...>
He opened the door. Shampoo was waiting patiently there,
hefting two wooden delivery boxes as though they were nothing.
"Ramen delivery for Tendo Kasuga," she repeated, closing her eyes and
flashing an attractive smile.
Next to Shampoo stood an older woman whom Kasuga did not
recognize, carrying a staff three times her height. "Ah,
Shampoo-chan. We haven't seen you around in a while," he greeted
her. "And you," he bowed respectfully to the older woman, "must be
Cologne. Pleased to meet you."
"Thank you for inviting us," Cologne returned the gesture.
"It was the least I could do when I heard that you and Shampoo
were starting a new restaurant in the area," Kasuga nodded. "Please,
follow me."
As it turned out, everyone in the house was already gathered in
the family room for one reason or another - including Ayumi, who had
deluded himself with the hope that Shampoo would not enter the house
beyond the front door.
All of them were seated around the table except for Ranma, who
sat at the edge of the deck outside, P-chan resting in her arms. Had
Kasuga known to look at either Ayumi or P-chan as he brought their
guests into the room, he would have seen one or the other recoil at
the sight of Shampoo and Cologne.
"What's wrong, P-chan?" Ranma asked her little pet. She
followed P-chan's gaze to see what had startled her. "Shampoo," she
hissed between her teeth. No wonder P-chan was upset!
Naka casually acknowledged Shampoo's presence. "I heard you
went to China and came back," he said. Naka had always considered
the idea of taking a trip to China one of these days; but pulling the
necessary money out of the family budget was out of the question.
Besides, it wouldn't do to leave all his... *investments*
unsupervised for any length of time. Who knew what kind of business
opportunities might pop up while he was gone?
Shampoo nodded. She set both delivery boxes down on the table.
"For you, we have brought the special of the week. We call this our
'Grand Opening'-soba."
Ayumi peered at the dishes of noodles. "Grand opening?" he
echoed.
"Yes," Kasuga told him. "They're opening a ramen restaurant,
the 'Nekohanten,' in our neighborhood."
Naka sipped at his noodle dish. "Hey, Ranma?" he called to the
girl who hadn't bothered to move from the deck. "This isn't half
bad. Don't you want any?"
"No. I'm not hungry." Ranma still held a grudge against
Shampoo, Ayumi saw, and from the expression on P-chan's face he
guessed Ryomi wasn't all that happy to see Shampoo, either.
"Oh, well. Your loss," shrugged Naka. A second later, that
became true; Genma the panda snatched away the bowl set aside for
Ranma and wolfed it down.
Cologne leaned her staff against a wall and took up her own
bowl. "I have done all of this for Shampoo," she said in between
bites. "I am only happy to do whatever I can for her and her
husband-to-be."
Ayumi's expression went cold. So, Shampoo hadn't given up on
wanting him to marry her, after all. But wasn't that... "Huh? It's
that old woman."
"This is Cologne, my great-great grandmother," Shampoo
introduced Cologne to Ayumi. She was about to introduce Ayumi when
Soun forcefully intervened.
"I don't believe you've met my son Ayumi, who happens to be
*engaged* *to* *Ranma*?"
Cologne was unimpressed. "The rules of our village supercede
all other rules and arrangements." Soun frowned. Cologne and
Shampoo were currently guests in his home, and guests were allowed a
fair amount of civility, which Cologne was close to losing.
Overall, the display might have been more impressive had both of
them not been slurping noodles while talking. "I must say, you speak
Japanese well," Kasuga complimented Cologne, regardless.
"I have had over one hundred years to learn the language,"
Cologne cackled softly.
Naka sat back. "That's why Shampoo speaks Japanese much better
now, right? You taught her?"
"I did. It would be a tragedy if she and her husband are unable
to communicate."
They heard a snort come from Ayumi. "I hate to tell you this,
'Grandma,' but you've come a long way for nothing. I'm not gonna
marry anyone. Ever." He rose to his feet, pushed his chair in and
walked toward the door. Ranma, meanwhile, pursed her lips. Whenever
the subject turned to marriage, they would inevitably find a way to
drag her into the discussion.
Shampoo ran to place herself in between Ayumi and the door.
"Ayumi, please come with me," she said, leading him out of the room
by his wrist.

She led him to the upstairs bathroom and locked the door behind
them. As Ayumi tried desperately not to watch, Shampoo pulled off
her Chinese dress, tossing it to one side.
Ayumi paled. Shampoo was willing to go to *this* kind of
extreme just to get him to marry her? "Wh-what d'you think you're
doing!?" he stammered. "I hope you don't think this is going to
make me feel any different toward you..." He *had* told Shampoo before
she left, originally, that he was engaged to Ranma and that
engagement could not be broken. However, Cologne was adamant that
the rules of their village be enforced. Guess a trip home had
renewed Shampoo's desire to have him be her husband.
"Don't be a fool," she rebuked him, stepping underneath the
shower head and resting a hand on the cold water knob. "I'm cursed
now! Like Ranma! See?"
Shampoo turned the knob as far as it would go.
Ayumi panicked; a moment later a thoroughly wet cat slapped at
his twitching face in an attempt to bring him around.
<He is not afraid of cats, is he? How strange.>
Well, if that were the case, it would make more sense to
transform back to normal before trying to do anything else to - or
with - Ayumi.
Her thoughts flashed back to that fateful day, weeks ago, at the
cursed training grounds commonly known as "Jhusenkyou." She knew it
by a different name - its Chinese name, of course. But that name was
little-used in the present day, only appearing in legends, and used
by those in the lands immediately neighboring Jhusenkyou.
Those from lands outside China, such as Ranma, currently made up
most of the visitors to Jhusenkyou; most of the locals knew the story
behind the grounds and wisely refused to use them for the purposes
which they were originally intended. Others had come throughout the
years seeking to use the magic trapped in Jhusenkyou for various
purposes, though most of the visitors remained innocents.
Shampoo knew Ranma was an innocent, for the sole reason that she
did not behave as though she welcomed the curse. What girl would be
grateful to turn into a boy anytime she was splashed with cold water?
No... neither she nor Ranma would ever again be able to properly
go swimming or venture out into the rain without fear. In that
regard, Shampoo felt pity for Ranma. Although Ranma's curse left her
Human, it was still a curse nonetheless and Shampoo had a similar
affliction. They both carried the legendary curse of Jhusenkyou.
However, Ranma was not Shampoo's friend; Ranma was her main
obstacle in marrying Tendo Ayumi. Any sympathy Shampoo felt for
Ranma was dwarfed by that fact. Shampoo could respect Ranma as a
fighter, but until the issue of who Ayumi would marry was resolved,
they were both enemies.
That was the main reason Cologne had taken her granddaughter to
train at Jhusenkyou.
"[You left to find the boy called 'Ranma,' but were defeated by
a boy named 'Ayumi,' who is engaged to a girl named 'Ranma,']" said
Cologne, in their native language. Shampoo had told her everything
that had happened on her travels - with a few notable exceptions,
namely leaving out the fact that she had given Ranma and Ryomi the
Kiss of Death, and that Ayumi's iinazuke was the very same person who
had come to her village and inadvertently defeated her. She had
convinced Cologne the name 'Ranma' was fairly common in Japan... and
even if great-great-grandmother learned the truth, Shampoo had spent
some time thinking of ways around the rules of her village.
As far as she knew, the rules didn't account for magic or
curses. "Should a fighter happen to be defeated by a male
outsider..." Well, one could argue that Ranma wasn't really a boy.
And when they argued that Ranma was therefore a *girl* at the time
she defeated Shampoo and must be killed? Technically, Ranma *was* a
boy at the time.
Hopefully, that confusion, coupled with Ayumi's more recent
defeat making her destined to marry him instead, would be enough to
exempt Ranma from the rules. Ranma had been an innocent outsider
when she came to Shampoo's village, unaware she was doing anything
wrong, and Shampoo felt Ranma deserved not to be marked for the rest
of her life because of an innocent mistake.
"[I see. In these circumstances, since you were defeated by
this 'Ayumi,' he is now the one you must marry. The rules are quite
clear on this point.]" Theoretically, once a warrior from Shampoo's
village was defeated, she would train hard so that she could not be
defeated in the same manner ever again. The next person to defeat
her, therefore, would have to be someone stronger than the last.
"[But you are in dire need of training, Shampoo. That is why we are
here.]"
Cologne motioned for Shampoo to assume her stance of readiness
on a bamboo pole across from her. "[The lesson shall begin... now!]"
They began their fight, clashing in midair and pushing away, to land
once more on the poles.
At the edge of the grounds, not too far away, the Jhusenkyou
Guide and Shampoo's father sat, watching the training take place and
enjoying a small meal the Guide had brought.
The Guide had thought to warn his charges of the dangers of
Jhusenkyou. But who better to understand the danger and avoid it
than the women of village Nyuuchezuu? "[Jhusenkyou has seen many
visitors lately,]" the Guide said, taking a short puff from his pipe.
"[I don't fully understand why you want to use this cursed training
ground.]"
Before Shampoo's father could answer him, Shampoo blundered into
one of Cologne's broad staff swaths and plunged into the lake
directly below her.
The Guide blanched. "[No! She has fallen into Mao-Nii-Chuan!
This is not good!]"
"[My daughter!]" Shampoo's father barely heard him.
"[In Mao-Nii-Chuan, a cat drowned one thousand... oh, eight
hundred years ago. Now anyone who falls into that lake... is cursed
to assume the form of that cat!]"
As if on cue, Shampoo - now a small white-and-gray cat -
struggled to crawl out of Mao-Nii-Chuan, coughing. "[My daughter,
Shampoo! No...]"
Shampoo settled back into the hot water-filled bathtub, sorrow
evident in her expression and voice. "That is how it happened."
"Why're you telling me all this?" Ayumi asked her. He was
awake now, listening to her story, sitting on the rim of the bathtub
and facing away from her. The last thing he wanted was for this to
become another one of those weird moments in the bath room with the
cursed girl of the day. He was embarrassed enough as it was. If
Ranma didn't want to find a mallet to pound him into the floor now,
she soon would!
Shampoo glanced peripherally back at him. "Because this is all
your fault."
"Oh, no you don't!" he said, outraged. "You're not pinning the
blame for that on me!"
Suddenly, Cologne was in the room with them, bringing her staff
down on Ayumi's head. "You are the *direct* cause of all of this!"
Ayumi shook with anger, looking for a target - and finding one
in Cologne, moving to knock her from the top of her staff. "So
that's it. I've had about enough from either of you!"
Cologne retaliated by trying to sweep Ayumi's feet out from
under him with her trusted staff. The boy confidently hopped upward
to dodge... but on his way down, his lead foot stepped down on a wet
bar of soap Shampoo had slid underneath him. He cartwheeled backward
and, when he tried to pull himself up, Cologne brought her staff down
on his head again.
"How dare you, you old witch!" he yelled.
Cologne retreated out the door and down the stairs, leaving the
house - but not Ayumi - behind. "I'm not done with you yet!"
They shoved and vaulted down public streets, scaring nearly
everyone they encountered. Cologne risked a look back at him. "Do
you believe you can catch me, little boy?" She ran straight up a
utility pole. "Then, follow me!"
Ayumi did, much to the surprise of everyone watching them.

Ten minutes later Cologne came to rest on the top of a temple
gate. "Hmph," she caught her breath. "It is as I feared. Even
someone of my advanced years was able to outrun and outwit the boy."
Ayumi would need a *lot* of training in order for him to be a
suitable husband for Shampoo. And, if Ayumi was this lacking, his
defeat of Shampoo meant *Shampoo* needed a lot of training as well.
A voice drifted to her from the other end of the gate. "What
kept you? I've been waiting here for hours!" Ayumi smirked.
Cologne narrowed her eyes, shuffling over to him. "Hmm...
perhaps Shampoo has chosen her husband well, after all."
"I'm no one's husband!"
She smiled. "Is that so?" Cologne raised her staff to prod
Ayumi's chest with the narrow end. "Well, then, soon you will be
*begging* me to let you marry Shampoo."
Ayumi took a step back. Him, beg her to marry Shampoo? Never!

(...to be continued...)

------------
Credits:

Written by: Mike Koos
Prereaders: Richard Beaubien, Tom Williams, David Wills

With apologies to Rumiko Takahashi...

All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at
ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works
or from my WWW pages at
http://www.mother.com/~makoto/stories.htm
Comments and questions welcome.

*****************************
* Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos * "I can do nothing to stop you.
*---------------------------* Your background music is too
* email: mak...@mother.com * strong for me."
***************************** - Whose Line is it Anyway?
www: http://www.mother.com/~makoto/stories.htm

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