[XOVER][Fanfic] Aa! Megami-sensei! - Parts 10-11

[Peter L. Ward]

Aa! Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 10: Your Talent for Chaos - Part 1

"Your turn to deal, Jun."

Kokashi Jun took the deck of cards from one of her lab teammates,
Hasegawa Noriko, and started to shuffle the deck. It had been
over a month since Jun transferred to Furinkan high school in
mid-April, and she made fast friends with the three girls who
were her lab teammates, Noriko, Ishikawa Mariko, and Tanaka Rika.
As soon as she stopped shuffling the deck, she quickly dealt out
the cards as part of their regular pre-class poker game.

As Noriko picked up her hand, she turned to Rika and asked, "So,
have the drama club officers asked you if you're going to be in
this semester's talent show?"

"Well, not yet, Noriko." Rika said as she ran her fingers idly
through her long black hair while studying her cards. "I'm sure
they'll get around to it soon, though."

"What's this about a talent show, Rika?" Jun asked, still being
the newcomer of the foursome.

"Every semester, they have a talent show here, and they've always
asked me to sing a song or two since I started going to school
here." Rika replied brightly.

"That's cool." Jun replied. "So, are you going to do it this
semester?"

"Sure, if they ask me. I've got to figure out what songs to
sing, though. Oh, I guess it's my turn to open the bet, so I'll
start it off with five." With that, Rika took five chips from
her pile and put them in the center of the lab table.

"Only five, Rika?" Noriko asked. "I'll see it and raise nine.
How about 'Voices' from Macross Plus?"

"Yeah, 'Voices' would be good. I'm glad you didn't suggest 'Idol
Talk', though." Rika finished with a slight blush.

"True." Mariko interjected, the side of her head resting in an
open hand while she looked at her hand of cards in disgust. "I
heard that Tetsuo likes that song. Three guesses why and the
first two don't count. By the way, I'm folding this hand."

"Again?" Jun said incredulously. "You must be having really
lousy luck today. That's the fifth hand you folded this morn-
ing."

"Well, there are the rumors about you having some sort of powers,
Jun. I can't help but wonder about them." Mariko sniped in
irritation.

"Wait a minute!" Jun spoke up defensively. "I'm not using my
powers to cheat here! I mean, sure, I used them on Tetsuo at the
auto meet a few weeks back, but I wouldn't use them in such a
petty fashion....oops...I think I said too much." she added
meekly.

"So you do admit to having powers, then?" Mariko said as a smug
look crossed her face.

"Leave her alone, Mariko." Noriko cut in before things got any
worse. "Okay, so she's got some sort of power. I know, since
I've seen her use them on that jerk Tetsuo. But if she says
she's not using them to cheat, I'll believe her."

"Okay, okay..." Mariko said, backing down. "Sorry, Jun. I guess
I am taking the game a little too seriously. Gotta hand it to
you, though. Tetsuo had that tar-and-feathering coming for a
loooong time. Good one!" Mariko finished, a smile emerging on
her face.

"What sort of powers *do* you have, anyway?" Rika asked Jun.

"Well, if you guys can keep it a secret, I guess I can tell you.
It's magic." Jun whispered as all four girls leaned in closer
over the lab table. "Another thing, I'm raising the bet by 9 as
well."

As the girls sat back on their stools, Rika said, "This is
getting too rich for me. I'm folding with Mariko."

"And I'll call." Noriko finished. While Noriko took one card out
of her hand and replaced it, Jun did likewise with three cards.

"So, any other ideas about what else Rika could sing at this
variety show?" Jun asked as she studied her new hand.

"I'll open with twelve chips." Noriko said after a quick glance
at her cards. "You know, since 'Voices' does tend to be a
slower, quieter song, maybe we should balance it out with a more
upbeat song. Maybe the opening theme for 'Marmalade Boy'?
That's pretty infectious."

"That'll be a crowd-pleaser for sure." Mariko agreed, wearing a
slight smile while trying to fight off being glum after her bad
poker hand.

"Hey, I'll let you guys in on a secret if you promise not to tell
anyone." Jun added, leaning in towards her partners. "I was told
that Urd-sensei got really hooked on that show when it was on. I
think it had something to do with all those relationships in the
show, since she likes to play cupid all the time. Especially
between her sister, Belldandy, and Keiichi."

"All right! Juicy tidbits on the sensei!" Rika whispered con-
spiratorially.

"Hey, before we end up getting off-track here, it's your bet,
Jun." Noriko said, torn between her confidence in her hand, and
the curiosity about what the new teacher did in her spare time.

"Spoilsport." Jun said in mock petulance. "Just for that, I'm
raising you eighteen." she added with a very cool and confident
look on her face.

"Eighteen?!" Noriko nearly cried out. "Okay, okay, I'll fold.
See if I defend you again."

"Heh, you folded almost as easily as Mariko did." Jun said in
satisfaction as she collected her pot. "Here, my hand." she
added as she deftly set her cards on the table for all to see.
The hand consisted of a pair of fives.

"Huh?! You mean I folded to a pair of fives???" Noriko exclaim-
ed. "Here I was, with two pair, and I folded to a mere pair of
fives! Damn, you're good Jun."

Before Jun could gloat further, Godzilla's head came up beside
her. Or more rather, the head of someone wearing a Godzilla
costume. Jun nearly fell out of her chair in surprise, but was
caught by another boy wearing a kabuki costume. "So sorry." he
said. "We didn't mean to scare you like that. We just wanted to
talk to Rika here."

While Jun gawked at the two boys in astonishment, they turned to
Rika and the one in the kabuki greeted her, saying, "Good morn-
ing, Rika. I suppose you know why we're here."

"Of course, I do boys." Rika answered cheerfully. "Oh, Jun,
don't worry about these two. They're the ones who head up the
drama club here. Boys, this is Kokashi Jun. She's only been
here for a month now, so I don't think she's quite used to
everything here."

"As if anyone could get used to everything at this school."
Mariko muttered, referring to the higher-than-usual levels of
weirdness at Furinkan high.

"So, Rika, are you going to sing for the talent show this semes-
ter?" the boy in the Godzilla costume asked, ignoring Mariko's
comments.

"Of course, I am. In fact, we were just discussing that before
you boys came. Do you want one or two numbers for this show?"

"Two numbers this time?" the boy in the kabuki costume asked in
anticipation. "That'd be wonderful!"

"Good." Rika replied happily, then shifted to a sly voice. "In
fact, I think one will be an ensemble number, and I'll have my
friends here be backup singers and dancers for that one." Before
the three other girls could protest, she added, "Oh, I think I've
got another act for you guys as well. How would you like for Jun
here to give a magic show this semester? I hear that she's
really good!"

"Really?" Both boys asked. Then the one in the Godzilla costume
turned to Jun and asked, "Would you really do that for us?"

Jun paused a moment, deciding between her eagerness to put her
magic skills to use, and possible admonishments from Urd and the
rest of the temple household. Her love of magic won out and she
replied, "Sure, I'll do it."

"Great! Thanks ladies!" The two said as they started stepping
away. They came to a stop as they backed into Urd-sensei, who
was standing behind them.

"Interesting outfits you boys have on there." Urd said with a
bemused expression on her face. "Mind telling me what the
occasion is?"

"Oh! Sensei!" the boy in the kabuki costume said in surprise.
"My friend and I run the drama club here, and we were hoping that
you'd let us announce this semester's talent show at the begin-
ning of your first-period class."

"Really?" Urd said with a smile. "All right, I'll let you boys
make your announcement in a few minutes. Jun, could I speak with
you for a moment?"

"Uh, sure, Sensei..." Jun stammered, wondering if Urd overheard
the conversation, especially the bit about her hastily-planned
magic act.

"Uh oh...teacher's pet's in trouble!" Noriko teased as Jun got up
to go talk to Urd.

As the teacher and student stepped away, Mariko gave Rika a glare
and hissed, "What was that about an 'ensemble number' Rika? How
come you're dragging the rest of us into this?"

"I thought it would be fun having all four of us in one of the
acts this time around. Besides, what are you so uptight about,
Mariko? We were in the same dance classes a few years ago, so I
know that you'll pretty good at it."

"Well, yeah, but in front of all those people?!" Mariko stam-
mered. Sure, she was pretty good at dancing, but she preferred
to be recognized (justly) for her athletic prowress instead.

"You'll do all right, Mariko. Besides, wouldn't it be nice to be
known for something besides sports?"

Mariko only muttered under her breath in reply, but the look on
her face indicated her agreement to the idea.

Meanwhile, in one of the corners of the lab room. Urd was talking
with Jun.

"So you're going to use your powers in public, in front of an
audience?"

"Well, only low-level magic as well as your typical stage
tricks." Jun said waveringly. "Please, sensei, you've got to let
me try."

"Hey, who said I was going to stop you? After all, why have the
power and not use it? Just be careful, all right? Oh, don't let
my sisters or Keiichi know what you're up to. They'll have a
hissy-fit if they do. Kami-sama only knows how many fits they've
had whenever I've used my powers to help those ingrates."

"Thanks, sensei!" Jun said in glee, almost forgetting to address
her as "Sensei" in front of her fellow students rather that just
"Urd" like back at the temple.

"Don't mention it, kiddo! And I mean that literally. By the
way, since I'm going to help you keep this a secret, why don't
let me do you another favor and let me do your costume design?"
Urd said with a smile.

"Um, you really don't have to go through that trouble, sensei..."
Jun stammered, not quite sure if she should let Urd design a
stage costume for her.

"Oh, it'll be no trouble for me, you know that! In fact, I
insist on doing it!"

"Um, yeah, if you say so..." Jun trailed off as she went to her
friends. Jun was happy that Urd was letting her do a magic act
(even if it wasn't her idea), but the thought of a stage costume
designed by her mentor was another thing altogether. Realizing
that when Urd sets off to do something, there was no stopping
her, Jun resigned herself to the "deal".

A few days later, the four girls went to one of the classier
department stores in Tokyo in order to get whatever outfits they
needed for the upcoming talent show.

"So, what about this outfit, girls?"
Rika held up a light blue Chinese-style dress to her body for the
others to see how it might look on her.

"Looks good to me." Noriko said while studying the way the dress
looked.

"Could be worse." Jun agreed.

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to move around in those things? I
mean, look how tight it is! I have to wonder if we could breathe
in that kind of dress!" Mariko objected.

"You have a better idea, Mariko?" Noriko said in frustration.
"You've said 'no' to the last five dresses that Rika picked out
in this store alone!"

"Well, they did look like idol singer costumes after all! We'd
look silly in them on stage!"

"Girls, girls!" Rika interrupted, trying to head off another
argument between Mariko and Noriko. "We've got other outfits to
look at as well, so let's not get worked up over this one.
Mariko does have some good points there about freedom of move-
ment, so we'll put this dress to the side. Now, how about this
one?" Rika pulled out a silver-sequined dress and held it up to
her body for the others to see. This one had a halter top to it
and was knee-length.

"Oooh! Now that's something!" Jun cooed.

"Yeah, baby! We're gonna knock the guys out in those!" Noriko
called out.

"Well, it's an improvement." Mariko said, bringing some relief to
the three other girls. "Can we move around in it at all?"

"Yeah, the fabric seems stretchy enough, so you don't have to
worry about that." Rika replied to the skeptical Mariko.

"Okay, I'll go along with that, though it does look to be Tetsuo-
bait there." Mariko finally agreed.

"Hey, if you want Tetsuo-bait, you should let Urd-sensei do the
costume design. She can get really racy once you set her loose."
Jun countered.

"Oh? You mean her usual wardrobe in class isn't racy enough for
her?" Mariko asked snidely, in reference to Urd's habit of
wearing miniskirts and tight tops around her students.

"Nope. That's barely the tip of the iceberg. Be glad she isn't
doing the group's costumes like she's doing mine for the magic
act."

"How come you're letting her do your costume if you don't like
it?" Noriko asked.

"It's part of the price for her silence around the temple about
my magic act. If either of her sisters or Keiichi found out I
was doing a magic act, they'd go ballistic!"

"Why would they do that?" Rika asked curiously, wondering if she
did something that could've gotten Jun in trouble at home by
volunteering her for the talent show.

"Well, I've got a good amount of power when it comes to magic,
but, well, my control is a bit off. They'd be worried if they
found out if I were to use my powers in a situation like a talent
show. Urd said it was okay, though, so I'm going ahead with it.
After all, she has final say in the matter."

"Well, if you say so, then I guess it's all right. I didn't want
to get you into trouble just because I wanted to get a bit of
revenge over that poker game that morning."

"Hey, don't sweat it." Jun said to put Rika at ease over the
matter. "I'll be using low-level magic at the most, as well as
your standard non-magic tricks, so there'll be nothing to worry
about."

With Mariko's grudging agreement to the style of dress, the four
made their orders and the necessary pre-payments. As they left
the store, Jun paused a second to pick up Joe from where she was
waiting dutifully near the door.

<Good girl!> Jun mentally flashed to Joe.

<Will you cut it out with the "girl" business?? After all, it's
your fault as well as Urd's that I'm stuck this way! I wish you
two would hurry up and turn me back to a normal boy already.>

<Awwww...you're no fun at all! Look on the bright side, you've
got all those girls fawning over you!> Jun teased.

<I'd rather that they were fawning over my normal form, thank you
very much. At least I'd be getting dates.> Joe thought icily.

<There's just no pleasing you, is there?>

"Hello? Earth to Jun!"

Jun broke off from her mental conversation and saw Mariko stand-
ing right in front of her.

"Huh? Oh, sorry...I wasn't paying attention."

"That was obvious by the way that you were just standing there
looking at Jo there."

"Ah...I was just making sure that 'Jo' was all right there. We
were in there an awful long time."

"That's understandable. Mind if I hold her?"

"No, I don't mind at all. Here you go!" Jun said brightly as she
handed "Jo" over to Mariko, who held the piglet like a little
baby against her chest.

"Awww...isn't she cute? You know, Jo, you look every bit as cute
as Akane's pet piglet, P-chan. I wonder if Jun will let me keep
you for a week or so."

<I wouldn't mind one bit!> Joe thought, reconsidering her insis-
tence on being changed back to a human boy ASAP.

<Think clean thoughts, 'Jo'! After all, girls shouldn't be
lusting after other girls...> Jun teased darkly, being annoyed by
her brother's enjoyment of the situation. Turning to Mariko, she
said, "So, is this a soft spot I see in the ever-irritable
Ishikawa Mariko here?"

"Huh? Hey, it isn't as if I'm always an ogre. After all, Jo
here is just sooo cute. She's a lot better to have around than
most of the boys on campus."

"Oh?" Jun inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Last year, all the guys were trying to get a date with Akane
until her fiance, Ranma, showed up. They were acting like total
jerks thanks to that buffoon Kuno."

"What does Kuno have to do with that?"

"Well, he told all the guys that he wouldn't approve of anyone
going out with Akane unless they defeated her in combat. Of
course, none of the guys, Kuno included, could defeat her. They
stopped after Ranma beat Kuno a few days after he started to go
to school here."

"Hmph. Do they think Akane's some sort of prize to win or what?"

"And every time a new, cute girl came to campus, they went after
her. That included both Hinako-sensei and Urd-sensei. What
jerks."

"I can see why you get irritated from time to time now..."

"And just because I get irritated, they avoid me like the plague.
That and the fact that I'm such a good athlete and that I'm tall.
They must be wimps if they get intimidated by that."

"Hey, don't let it get you down, Mariko. I'm sure not all guys
are jerks 100 percent of the time."

"True. I just hope that my poetry reading will help things some
by showing the guys that I'm not a total bitch."

"You're doing a poetry reading for the show?"

"Yeah, I figured that if they were going to let Kuno put the
audience to sleep with Shakespearean poetry, I can at least give
my own work a shot."

"Kuno's going to be in the show too? Thanks for the warning...
I'll bring earplugs and No-Doz for the four of us. By the way, I
didn't know you wrote poetry."

"Because I don't seem the type, right? That's okay...everyone
else makes the same assumption. If you want to know the truth, I
love literature, especially western literature. Maybe not as
much as either track or softball, but I still love it. In fact,
that's going to be my major when I go to college next year."

"That'll be cool. Where are you going for college?"

"I'm not quite sure yet. I can probably go to school here in
Tokyo, but I also have distant relatives in America, so I can
arrange to go to school there as well while I live with them."

"Wow, that's pretty far away."

"Yeah, but at least it's far away from this madhouse of a neigh-
borhood."

"Gee, I didn't think you felt that strongly about things, Mariko.
Or is something really eating away at you?"

"Don't tell me mindreading's one of your magical powers..."

"Not really, or at least I can't read your mind. Come on, what
is it?"

"It's this whole ensemble act thing. I'm still ticked about Rika
dragging us into this. Now we've got to play dress-up as well."

"Hey, I was just as shocked as you were, Mariko, but I'm starting
to look forward to it now."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I wasn't all that shocked. You
see, Rika and I go back to when we were little girls, and she
always dragged me into all sorts of things back then. I didn't
mind doing them, mind you, just the fact that she goes and gets
me involved in these things without asking."

"Did you ever tell her how you felt?"

"Not really. It irritates me, but I put up with it because Rika
is one of the few people that'll actually put up with me. I
really don't want to lose her as a friend over something like
this."

"Hey, you're not some kind of monster. Okay, so you're almost as
nasty with your bats as Kuno is with his boken, and you don't
hesitate to use them. So what? Most of the guys you use them on
have it coming anyway. Especially Tetsuo and Joat-mon. Just try
to tell Rika how you feel about these things. I'm sure she'd
respect your feelings...I know I would."

"Well, okay. I'll try to keep it in mind next time, since
there's no real chance of backing out of this. I guess you,
Rika, and Noriko are the only ones who aren't afraid of me and my
temper." After a moment, Mariko broke a slight smile and held
Joe at face level. "I guess you aren't scared, either, Jo. What
a brave little piggy!" With that, Mariko gave Joe a quick peck
on the snout.

Mariko didn't notice it, but Jun blushed slightly as Joe's
emotional state was transmitted to her. <Clean thoughts, Joe!
Clean thoughts! I don't think she meant that kiss in a romantic
way! Are you even listening, you pig?!>

Frustrated by Joe's clouded mental state, she spoke up again.
"Well, if you want to know, Jo and I have dealt with scarier.
You don't know scary until you meet my mother. I might get
teased as a 'teacher's pet' and all, but it sure beats having to
put up with mother and her ideas of destiny."

"That bad, huh? Wait a second...isn't that Mackie that Rika and
Noriko are talking to over there on the corner?"

Jun looked over and noticed that the other two girls in their
group wandered away for a short distance while she and Mariko
were talking. "Hey, I wonder what's up? Let's go check it out
and say 'hi' while we're at it."

As soon as Jun and Mariko caught up with the others, Rika turned
to them and said "Oh, good, you're here! We just ran across
Mackie while you two were chatting."

"Yeah, I finally saved enough money and got another guitar to use
here since my folks won't send mine over."

"That's cool. I wonder why they wouldn't send your guitar over,
though." Mariko remarked.

"Oh, they're just being tight, that's all." Mackie answered.
"Anyway, Rika was telling me that you ladies are planning on
doing a couple of song numbers and I could do accompaniment on
one of them."

"Well, I guess that'll be all right" Mariko said neutrally, not
having heard his playing before.

<Why do I have a baad feeling about this?> Jun thought darkly,
also running the bit about the parents through her mind. Before
she could say anything, though, a large hand fell on her shoulder
and she jumped. Turning around, she saw a tall mountain of a
monk standing there. <Oh, no,> she thought, <it's starting
again...>

"Kokashi Jun. It took me a long time to track you down after you
left your parents. You know that you have destiny to fulfill as
the heiress of..."

"Um, listen," Jun cut the monk off before he could continue, "I
*really* would like to stay and chat further, but my friends and
I have got to get going now. Bye!"

As Jun herded her friends around the corner and down the street,
the monk sternly stood there and shouted after her, "You cannot
escape your destiny, Kokashi Jun!"

After a few minutes of running down the sidewalk and dodging
others like the monk, all five stopped to take a breath while
hiding in an alleyway. "What was that all about, Jun? Do you
know that monk?" Noriko asked.

"Not really, but I really don't want to be bothered by him or his
buddies. I thought I lost them when I moved in with Urd and her
sisters..."

"Why were you trying to lose them? Are you in some sort of
trouble?" Rika inquired in worry.

"No, just about to be pestered day-in and day-out. You see, if
you have a convoluted family tree like mine, everyone seems to
think that you're some sort of destined person. And I do mean
everyone. Sorry, but I think that you're going to be seeing a
lot more of his type hanging around for a while."

"Hey, if they're bugging you so much, why don't you let me take
care of them for you?" Mackie exclaimed, "cracking" his metal
knuckles.

"I'm with mecha boy here," Mariko agreed while swinging an
imaginary bat, "If they want to bug our friend here, they're
going to have to get past us first."

"Ummmm...thanks, really..." Jun stammered nervously, "but I don't
think we really need to go to bloodshed over this. I'm sure we
can deal with it without resorting to violence here..."

"Okay, okay...you're no fun at all." Mariko relented. "But
seriously, if you need help in dealing with these jerks, let us
know, all right?"

"All right. Come on, let's go home before it gets any crazier."
A while later, after saying her goodbyes to her friends at
Furinkan high, Jun walked over to the public phone and dialed out
to the temple. Within a minute, she saw a flash of light from
the teachers' lounge and proceeded to wait by the school's main
entryway.

After a couple of minutes, Urd opened the locked door and let Jun
and Joe in. Jun couldn't help but notice the irritated look on
her mentor's face. After a few steps Urd turned to Jun and asked
evenly, "Jun, do you have any idea what was going on back at the
Temple while you were gone?"

"Ummm...how many people came looking for me?"

"Oh, about a dozen or two. They came looking for you so you can
fulfill various destinies. Skuld made a quick trip to Heaven to
find out why using Yggdrasil, but I think you can fill us in
here..."

"Well, I don't understand all of it myself, nor do I care." Jun
replied in mild disgust. "It's just that I have so many differ-
ent ancestors that everyone thinks I have to fulfill their idea
of destiny. To be honest, I've gotten tired of it all and I wish
they'd leave me alone." Turning to Urd, she added, "I'm sorry if
I put you and your sisters through so much trouble."

"It's all right. I'm sure we'll deal with the remainder that are
still camped out by the temple gate once we get back. In the
meantime, I picked out your costume without the others knowing.
I'm sure the guys'll be drooling over it at the show!" Urd
finished with a wink.

<That's what I'm afraid of...> Jun thought as they reached the
lounge and Urd fired up the teleportation spell.

Moments later, the three of them emerged from the TV at the
temple and found themselves in front of a waiting Belldandy,
Skuld, and Keiichi.

"Jun, did Urd tell you..." Belldandy began.

"About the crowds out front? Yeah, she told me. Can you give me
a minute while I try to deal with them?" With that, Jun strode
out the door without another word, made her way to the gates out
front, and addressed the sixteen people still remaining from the
day.

"Okay, listen up, you jerks! It's bad enough you have to track
me down, but you don't have to disturb these good people living
here! I'm only going to say this once: if you bug these people
again, you'll risk facing divine wrath! Leave them alone!"

"How can we be sure that you mean it?" A voice in the crowd
shouted.

"Are you sure you want to take that chance? Especially since all
of you think I'm some sort of avatar, destined one, or whatever
else you jerks want to call me?"

After a moment of murmuring and some thought, the remaining crowd
dispersed, not wanting to push Jun further. Jun turned around
and went back into the temple. Once she closed the door, she
gave a heavy sigh and bowed her head. "Damn, I can't believe
those guys. Can't they take 'no' for an answer?"

"Guess not." Keiichi said while Belldandy handed Jun a cup of
tea. "Are they going to be back?" he added in worry.

"Some of them, maybe." Jun said quietly, then added with a hint
of optimism, "Then again, a lot of them tend to be superstitious.
I think the threat of divine wrath might scare them off."

"'Divine wrath'? You didn't..." Keiichi asked, concerned about
keeping the sisters' true identities secret.

"No, I didn't tell them that I was living with goddesses. I
don't want half the world's population swarming this place any
more than you would. All I did was tell them that they risked
divine wrath if they came back, nothing more."

"They almost got my wrath for certain." Urd spat out. "Your
threat won't be a bluff, Jun, if they ever show their faces
around here again."

"Now, now, Urd." Belldandy said in half-soothing, half-scolding
tones. "You know better than to do that."

As Urd was about to protest, Skuld walked up to Jun and handed
her a thick stack of paper. "Here's what Yggdrasil was able to
dig up on your ancestry before the sysadmins had to shut that
task down. You wouldn't believe how many system resources were
used up to come up with this fraction of your family tree!"

"I can believe it, Skuld. Thanks all the same. Guys, I'm really
sorry that my family problems ended up being a burden on you."

"Hey, don't worry about it!" Keiichi said to cheer Jun up. "With
all the other craziness that goes on around this temple, what're
a few dozen fanatics showing up? It's just part of the price of
us living here, I guess."

"What was that about the craziness here?" Urd asked with an edge
to her voice.

"Oh, hush, Urd." Belldandy admonished as she took Keiichi's arm.
"Keiichi's right about us living here, and I'll gladly stay here
with him as long as he wants me to."

While Urd was mollified by the show of affection, Skuld pushed
herself between the couple and shouted, "Hey, don't you be
getting that close to my sister like that! She's a goddess,
after all!"

While everyone started laughing at Skuld's childishness, Jun
excused herself and carried Joe to her room. As she opened the
door and stepped in, she did a double-take at what lay on her
futon. After a moment of staring at it, she knelt slowly and
picked up the outfit laid out for her. Of course, there wasn't
much to pick up, since it was a one-piece strapless bathing suit
in a tiger-stripe pattern with a mock tiger tail attached to it.
Also on the futon were a pair of fishnet stockings, mock cat
ears, a collar, gloves, and spike heels.

"What do you think, Jun?" Urd said from the doorway. Closing the
door behind her, Urd knelt beside Jun and added, "I came up with
these myself, you know."

"Ummmm....it's...something all right." Jun stammered in shock.

"No guy is going to resist you when you get on stage in this!
They'll be lined up for dates with you for sure!"

"Um...yeah." Jun said quietly, remembering what Mariko told her
about how the guys went after Akane quite literally.

"Don't forget, I expect to see you in costume for your act! Do
me proud and knock 'em dead!" Urd said cheerfully as she stepped
back out of the room.

After a moment of stunned silence, Jun leaned back until she was
lying on the floor while still holding the suit. <I don't
believe how this day turned out. First, the shopping trip from
hell. Next, those fanatics show up, both while I was shopping
and at the temple. Now, Urd decides to dress me up like some
sort of showgirl. Sure, she's got a great fashion sense in her
own manner, but this is a bit much. What do you think, Joe?>

<She kissed me....> the lovestruck piglet thought, still dazed by
the affection that Mariko gave her that afternoon.

Jun reached over, grabbed a pillow that was lying there, and
threw it at Joe. <Some help you are, pig.> she thought in
frustration.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jun wandered around the stage in Furinkan high's auditorium on
the day of the show with a portable TV in hand. The few times
she had been in the building, she was in the audience, and the
stage looked a bit puny compared to the one at the high school
she left behind over a month back. However, it looked a bit more
imposing now that she was on it. Setting the TV down, she took a
look towards stage left and tried to spot the phone in the dim
light. Walking over to get a better look, she ran into the the
club officer that was always going around in a Godzilla costume.
The guy always seemed to give her a fright, and the dark lighting
didn't help her nerves any.

"Oh, hi Jun!" they guy said in greeting, oblivious to the impres-
sion his appearance gave. "You're here early."

"Yeah, well, I've got to get my props in here. Where's the
phone?" she stammered while recovering from the sudden shock.

"Over here." he said, indicating the phone in the near-darkness
as it was second nature for him to find things backstage. "It'll
dial out, if that's what you need."

"Thanks." Jun said as she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello, Urd?" she asked as the line picked up. "Yeah, I set the
TV on stage as you told me, so you can bring the stuff in any-
time."

As the club officer stood there trying to figure out what Jun was
talking about, a bright flash of light shone from the TV left on
stage and Urd emerged as he turned around to look.

"Phew! It took a bit of doing to send the others out so we can
sneak the props on stage here." Urd said as she teleported Jun's
things onto the empty stage. "I think Skuld got suspicious when
I sent her out with Bell and Keiichi."

"Hahaha...I'll bet that confused her, since you're usually trying
to keep her away from those two." Jun laughed.

"Anyway, I hope you appreciate all I'm doing for you, unlike
others I could mention. Teleporting stage props through dinky
TVs like that is pretty tough work. Oh, here's your dress for
the song and dance routine," Urd said, handing Jun a garment bag.
"And your costume for the magic act." she added, producing a much
smaller bag.

"Um, yeah, right." Jun muttered as she took the bags.

"Where do you guys want the props, Godzilla?" Urd called out to
the club officer.

"Over there, but let me round up some of the stage hands to help
you out, sensei!"

"Don't bother." Urd waved off his offer for assistance. With a
similar wave, the props floated to the spot where the boy pointed
at.

"Okay, I'll see you on stage tonight, then! Break a leg!" Urd
said cheerfully as she teleported back out through the TV while
the boy stared in amazement.

While the boy just stood there agape, Jun took the TV off the
stage and headed through the darkness to where the dressing rooms
were set up. Waiting there were Mariko and Noriko, both being
preoccupied with Joe since Jun left her with them.

"Are Rika and Mackie here yet?" Jun asked.

"Nope." Mariko answered. "Rika must be held up with babysitting,
but she should show up soon. Mackie probably flaked out.
Y'know, he never did show up for any of the rehearsals."

"True." Noriko agreed. "Think we ought to drop him from the
act?"

"We should." Jun said, also in agreement. "I hate to say this,
but I did have a bad feeling about him. I'm just glad that Rika
managed to get an accompaniment track for the song as a backup."

"Is someone talking about me?" Rika said as she walked through
the door to the backstage area. "Sorry I'm late, guys. Had a
bit of trouble with my charges and I had to tell their parents.
I also had some trouble getting through Jun's followers."

"This is getting annoying." Jun muttered in exasperation.

"Same kind of trouble as usual, Rika?" Mariko asked, ignoring
Jun's comments.

"Yeah, Misato-chan brought another of her father's beer cans with
her, and Ritsuko-chan wouldn't share her stuffed kitty. I have
to wonder how those two are going to turn out when they grow up."

"They're no angels, that's for sure." Mariko agreed, having had
to deal with the two little girls that Rika was referring to.

"Anyway, we were discussing the Mackie situation." Noriko ex-
plained. "The three of us were thinking of dropping him from the
act."

"Hey, what was that about dropping me from the act?" Mackie burst
in, guitar in hand and two barrel-shaped amplifiers mounted on
his shoulders. "You can't drop me now, not on the night of the
performance!"

"Oh, so you show up now, of all times." Mariko growled. "And
where were you during our practice sessions?!"

"Hey, I had to get these amps put together, Miss PMS. How was I
supposed to practice without them??"

"'Miss PMS'?! I'll show you PMS!!!" Mariko was yelling while
reaching for something to bludgeon the mechanoid with.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Rika raised her voice. "They'll hear
you two bickering out there if you keep it up. Now, it's the
night of the show, and all the programs are printed up. We might
as well keep Mackie in the act."

"Thanks, Rika! You won't regret this!" Mackie nearly yelled out.

"Okay, okay." Mariko sniped. "But you better not screw up, mecha
boy."

"Hey, don't worry. Rika told me what song it was, so I've got it
down pat, all right?"

The four girls went into the dressing room while Mackie (not
having need of it) remained outside. Jun also left Joe outside.
<Hey! Why do I have to stay outside?> she mindflashed to Jun.

<Ladies only, pig.> Jun answered mentally through the door.

<Hey, I'm a girl, or have you forgotten?> Joe protested, refer-
ring to the mishap that changed her gender.

<Nice try, you pervert. I thought you didn't want to be called a
girl.>

<Wellll....>

<Let me guess, you want a peek at Mariko, don't you? You've been
like this ever since we went shopping together that day.>

<Hey, can I help it? You owe me, sis. You and Urd both. You
for turning me into a piglet, and Urd for turning me into a girl.
I want to be turned back, as soon as possible.>

<Hold your horses, brother. We're trying, really, but it's going
to take some time. We've got three goddesses and myself working
on the problem, so be patient. Besides, how are you going to
explain to Mariko who you are and *why* you've gotten such
feelings for her? Huh? She'll brain you for certain if she found
out your secret.>

<She'll brain you, too, for helping hide that secret.> Joe
countered, then sulked by where Mackie was standing like a
sentry.

"You okay, Jun? You went into one of your quiet spells again."
Mariko asked.

"It's nothing...just thinking of something." Jun answered, barely
avoiding a total lie.

"You do an awful lot of thinking. By the way, where's Jo?"

"Outside with Mackie. I had to leave hi...I mean her out there
since she acts funny around girls in dressing rooms and such."

<I heard that!> Joe mindflashed in annoyance.

"That's weird, Jun." Mariko stated.

"Yeah, well, you don't really know Jo like I do. You know,
you've calmed down quite a bit."

"Well, keep me away from mecha-boy and I should be all right.
Anyway, let's start getting our stuff ready before the show
starts, huh?"

Next Episode: Your Talent for Chaos - Part 2

As Furinkan High School's semi-annual Talent Show starts up, Urd
finds out about Ranma's relationship problems. Will she be
stunned like any other person would be, or will she capitalize on
the opportunities? Will Nabiki be able to capitalize on the
growing pile of evidence on Urd-sensei? Will they all survive
Jun's magic act, as well as Mackie's debut on the guitar? And
what of the growing horde of people pestering Jun? All will be
answered in the next episode of Aa! Megami-sensei!

All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima
Kosuke and Takahashi Rumiko, respectively. All other characters
copyright Peter Ward, Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to fal...@best.com.
They're always welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;

Peter L. Ward fal...@best.com Kyusaku on IRC #Anime!
Caretaker of the Urd Shrine (http://www.best.com/~falcon/urdhome.htm)

"If you see something this big, with eight legs, let me know so I can
kill it before it can develop language skills!" - Ambassador Londo

Aa! Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 11: Your Talent for Chaos - Part 2

Recap: After a few bad hands of poker, Rika not only drug the
rest of her lab teammates into one of her singing acts for the
semi-annual talent show at Furinkan high, but she "volunteered"
Jun as a magician for the same show. Urd consented to this only
if Jun kept her magic levels low (due to her lack of control) and
if Urd were allowed to do costume design for her.

After choosing outfits for the song number, Jun, Rika, Mariko,
and Noriko run across Mackie, who volunteers to provide accompa-
niment for the quartet with his yet unknown skills with the
guitar. They also run across an unwelcome element of Jun's past
- the hordes of people wanting her to fulfill their various ideas
of destiny due to her many entangled bloodlines.

Jun ran into more of the same when she returned home to the
temple, and dispersed the crowd with threats of divine wrath
(which Urd was more than glad to supply if needed). As if Jun's
day couldn't get worse, she discovered the results of Urd's
efforts at costume design.

The night of the show starts off with a few difficulties with
Rika and Mackie being late and the other three girls leaning
towards dropping the mechanoid from the act. However, both make
it and Mackie is kept in the act after some difficulties between
him and Mariko.

* * * * * * * * * *

The foyer to the auditorium started to fill with people as the
audience for the Talent Show trickled in through the crowds of
Jun's unwanted followers outside. With the group were the
goddesses and Keiichi.

"Won't it be great to see Jun singing on stage tonight?" Bell-
dandy asked as she looked around at the growing crowds.

"Yeah, I saw the dress she'll be wearing for it, and it's a
knockout." Urd replied. "It's going to be a great finale for the
show! Hey, I'm hungry! Let's see about getting something to eat
before the show starts."

With that, Urd grabbed Keiichi (since he had the money for the
group) and dragged him to the back of the foyer where the conces-
sions were set up, with Belldandy and Skuld following behind.
The group came to a stop at one of the stands where Urd spotted a
couple of familiar faces behind it.

"Ah! Shampoo and Mousse! I see that you're not wrecking school
property for a change." Urd greeted them, referring to the many
times she had to deal with them whenever Shampoo smashed down the
wall to Ranma's classroom and Mousse followed close behind.

"Hello new teacher!" Shampoo returned the greeting in her usual
cheerful manner. "You buy ramen from Shampoo, yes?"

"Hello, Urd-sensei." Mousse said, also returning the greeting,
though in a more respectful manner. "It certainly is nice to not
be in trouble with you for once."

"Ain't that the truth." Urd replied. "As a matter of fact, yeah,
ramen does sound good. Anyone else want some?"

"Sure, I'll have some." Keiichi piped up. Belldandy also indi-
cated her desire for ramen.

"Good, because you're paying." Urd said with a grin while Keiichi
winced.

"Hey, Keiichi!" Skuld called out. "Can you give me some money,
too? I want to get some okonomiyaki from that stand there!"

"Okay, okay. I'm surprised that you didn't want any ice cream
instead."

"Well, I didn't see any ice cream stands..."

"Just as well, or else you'd bankrupt me with the cost of all the
ice cream you'd eat. Here you go!"

"Thanks, Keiichi!" Skuld called out as she made her way to the
okonomiyaki stand.

"So, why do you go around smashing up school property, Shampoo?"
Urd asked as Skuld left.

"Wait, that's right!" Keiichi said in realization. "I saw you
two on TV back when Urd started her job here. You were the ones
that messed up that classroom!"

"It only right that Shampoo demonstrate strength to husband."
Shampoo answered simply.

"Isn't that sweet of you?" Belldandy said, thinking only of
Shampoo's apparent devotion.

"I keep telling you, Saotome's not your husband! I should be the
one to marry you!" Mousse exclaimed.

"You shut up, Mousse. Shampoo belong to Ranma, not to Mousse."
Shampoo said sternly while bopping him on the head, knocking his
glasses off.

"But you defeated me when we were just kids! Give me a chance to
prove my love to you!" Mousse cried out, not realizing that he
was speaking to Keiichi now, not to Shampoo.

"And who do you think you're talking to, boy?" an old gnome of a
woman said as she slapped Mousse's glasses back on him, then gave
him a good whack with her cane.

"Huh? Who are you?" Keiichi said in amazement, except the
amazement was in reaction to her age, as well as the strength and
ability that belied that age.

"Sorry for not introducing myself. I am Cologne, Shampoo's
great-grandmother."

"I'm Urd, the new teacher here, and this is my sister Belldandy,
and her boyfriend, Keiichi. So, what's this about Saotome Ranma
being Shampoo's husband? I thought he was engaged to Tendo
Akane."

"Ah, yes. By our amazon tribal law, any woman defeated by a male
outsider must be married to him, and that's exactly what son-in-
law did. He defeated Shampoo in combat, so he must marry her.
As for his prior engagements, well, we simply can't let them
stand in the way of the marriage now, can we?"

"I see..." Urd said as she rolled the thought of Ranma having two
fiancees through her mind.

<Wait a minute. Did she say "engagements"? Plural??> Keiichi
thought as he also mulled over what Cologne said.

In the meantime, Skuld made her way to the okonomiyaki stand.
She was pretty disappointed that apparently no one was selling
ice cream, but some nice fresh okonomiyaki would do in the
meantime. As Skuld walked up to make her order, the girl running
the stand turned around and greeted her.

"Hi! Want some okonomiyaki, little girl...wait, aren't you
Urd-sensei's sister?"

"Yeah, I'm Urd's sister, and don't treat me like a little girl!"

"Sorry about that. I'm Kuonji Ukyo!" Ukyo said brightly as she
held out a hand.

"I'm Skuld." she said simply while not bothering to return the
handshake.

"Anyway, I've seen you on school grounds from time to time." Ukyo
continued, retracting her hand and proceeding to pour the batter
for Skuld's okonomiyaki. "Don't you have your own school to go
to or something?"

"Nope. Someone's gotta keep an eye on Urd every now and then.
Anyway, I don't need to go to one of your schools."

<Strange little girl> Ukyo thought as she added the sauce and
toppings to the okonomiyaki. A minute or two later, as Ukyo was
handing the okonomiyaki to Skuld while receiving payment for it,
she looked up slightly and spotted Ranma and Akane in the crowd.
"Ranchan! Over here!" she called out while waving to get Ranma's
attention.

"Hi Ucchan!" Ranma called back as he headed over with Akane in
tow. "How's business?"

"Not bad. By the way, have you two met Skuld here? She's
Urd-sensei's little sister."

"Hey, I remember you from when Kuno was being an even bigger
idiot than usual."

"That's right." Skuld remembered. "He was chasing after you two
as well as Buffy, thanks to my sister."

"Huh? What does Urd-sensei have to do with that, other than
putting a stop to him?"

Before Skuld could answer, Ukyo asked, "What's this about Kuno
being a bigger idiot than usual, Ranchan?"

"Oh, that." Akane said. "One day, he showed up at the dojo and
started chasing after Ranma, myself, and Buffy for no apparent
reason."

"Wait, Buffy's that new student at your dojo, right?" Ukyo asked
Akane, who nodded in reply. "Then that does sound odd, since
Kuno's usually going after you two and no one else."

"Well, it's my sister's fault for making that potion." Skuld cut
in.

"Didn't she say that Kuno swiped that potion in the first place?"
Ranma asked, in reference to Urd's cover story.

"Well, that's what she *said*, but..." Skuld tried to answer, but
was cut short by a hand over her mouth.

"There you are, Skuld!" Urd said with a too-wide smile on her
face, "Off telling stories again, are we?"

At that, Skuld looked really put off, but kept quiet.

"So, Ranma, Akane! How are the two lovebirds doing?"

"Wait a minute! Who said that we're lovebirds or anything like
that?" Ranma sputtered.

"Yeah, who'd be in love with a pervert like him?" Akane coun-
tered.

"Oh, yeah, tomboy?!"

"Well, I see that you two have a lot to work on where your
relationship is concerned. By the way, I ran across this senile
old lady that claimed that her great-granddaughter was engaged to
you, Ranma. You wouldn't to happen to know anything about this,
would you?"

"Rrrrrg...that old ghoul never gives up, does she?" Ranma asked
no one in particular while Akane looked a bit more annoyed.

"Now, I can understand you having a fiancee, but two?" Urd asked
in amusement.

"True." Ukyo spoke up as she came out from behind her stand.
"Engagements should be one-on-one. Isn't that right, Ranchan?"

"'Ranchan?'" Urd asked with an arched eyebrow. "Isn't that being
awfully affectionate there?"

"Not if you're engaged to him, and I'm the fiancee he really
should marry. Right, Ranchan?"

"Wait a minute, here! You're saying that Ranma here has three
fiancees?!" Urd said, not believing the opportunities presenting
themselves to her.

"Hey, wait! They're not my idea at all! My pop's the one who
got me set up with them!"

"Ungrateful boy!" Genma shouted as he popped into the conversa-
tion out of nowhere. Urd and the other temple residents looked a
bit confused since they haven't met Genma in human form (and
Keiichi and Belldandy haven't even met him, period). "After all
the training and preparation I put you through, Ranma," he went
on melodramatically, "you still don't appreciate the things I do
for you, like arranging for your marriage!"

"Oh, really?" Ranma sneered as Genma continued on his indignant
ranting. Without anyone noticing, Ranma got hold of a glass of
water. The rant quickly turned into a series of growfs as Ranma
splashed Genma with the water. "What else should I be grateful
for?"

After realizing that he had been turned back into a panda, Genma
shut up and sulked a bit. Urd looked him over quickly and said
"Oh, so you're Ranma's father. Didn't recognize you in human
form there. So what brings you here?"

"Saotome and I are here to make sure that our children behave on
their date." Tendo Soun explained as he stepped up.
"Hey, who said that I was going on a date with that uncute girl?"
Ranma sputtered as he pointed at Akane (who was starting to emit
the infamous blue aura). "I only went with her because you two
forced me to!"

"Ranma! How could you say such things?" Soun cried with the
usual twin gushers.

"Well, she's not cute, she's violent, she's built like a brick,
she can't cook..."

Ranma didn't get a chance to continue as the yell, "Ranma, you
JERK!" reverberated throughout the building and a Ranma-shaped
hole was formed in the foyer ceiling.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Whoa! I guess Ranma got Akane really ticked off!" Noriko said
while waiting in the dressing room.

"Yup." Mariko answered as she struggled with getting her dress
for the reading on. "I wonder if Akane punted him into orbit
this time?"

* * * * * * * * * *

"Real rosy relationship there. I simply must do something about
it." Urd said softly with a grin while Soun was down on the
ground, flooding the carpet with his tears as Genma tried to
comfort him. In the meantime, Shampoo and Ukyo were yelling at
Akane for punting Ranma through the roof and Keiichi was finally
recovering from shock.

"Th...th...that man! H...h...he turned into a pa-pa-panda!"

"So you finally noticed, Keiichi..." Urd muttered.

"Sis, do you know anything about this?" Belldandy asked while
pointing at Genma.

"Yeah. You remember that lecture we had on the Jusenkyo springs
back when we were in school?"

"You mean...?

"Yup...Mr. Saotome here is a victim of those springs. From what
I've been told, it's his fault in the first place."

At that, Genma held up a sign saying "How was I supposed to
understand Chinese?" A moment later, Ranma crashed back through
the ceiling and landed nearby.

"And his son there," Urd indicated the barely conscious Ranma,
"ended up falling into the Spring of Drowned Girl."

"Right. So what the hell does all that mean?!" a confused
Keiichi shouted in exasperation.

"I'm not going to bog you down with the details." Urd slowly
explained. "It'll be simpler to say that they're now cursed so
that when they're splashed with cold water, they turn into their
cursed forms. Hot water turns them back. In Genma's case, he
turns into a panda, as you can see. Ranma has the more interest-
ing curse. He turns into a girl."

"It's all your stupid fault, old man!" Ranma yelled while pound-
ing on Genma.

"And I thought things were crazy enough at NIT..." Keiichi
muttered. "Now I know what kind of place would hire Urd for a
teacher."

"What was that?" Urd growled as she overheard Keiichi's grum-
bling.

Before Keiichi had to defend himself before an irritated Urd,
they were interrupted. "Excuse me, Sensei. Fancy meeting you
here."

They turned around and saw Nabiki standing there. "Oh, hi there
Nabiki." Urd greeted her. "I was just telling my sister's
boyfriend here about the Saotomes."

"Ah, so this is Belldandy and Keiichi?"

"You know about them?" a somewhat stunned Urd asked.

"Let's just say that I have my sources." Nabiki said coyly.
"Anyway, there was something that I wanted to discuss with you,
sensei. If you don't mind, that is."

As Urd stepped away with Nabiki, Skuld chose that moment to get
in one last dig into her oldest sister. "Are you sure you have
nothing to do with Ranma's multiple engagements?"

"Just you wait, brat..." Urd muttered as she followed Nabiki into
a more secluded corner. "So, what is it that you wanted to
discuss, Miss Tendo?"

"Well, I never did get a chance to talk to you a few weeks back
when Kuno wasn't himself."

"Well, I was busy trying to round him up, so I wasn't quite
sociable then."

"Understandable, especially when we had two Kunos on the rampage.
I did find something interesting, though. I thought you might
want to see it." Nabiki said as she dug into her bag and brought
out something small. "Does this look familiar?"

In Nabiki's hand was a small, open vial. The vial had a tiny
label on it. On that label was a small caricature of Urd's face.

Urd resisted the impulse to gulp and said, "That's the vial that
had the potion that Kuno swiped. Where'd you find it?"

"Interestingly enough, right in front of the gate back home. Oh,
Kuno dropped it, of course, but it's rather interesting that he
dropped it right in front of our doorstep rather than along the
way between school and my house."

"It could happen." Urd said, trying to maintain her cover story.

"True, it could. I just found it rather interesting though. Oh,
you remember what I said about my having sources, right?"

"Right..." Urd said slowly, still wondering how Nabiki heard
about Belldandy and Keiichi without having met them.

"Those same sources, which will remain unnamed for the moment,
also told me that you, Belldandy, and Skuld have been hanging
around Nekomi Institute of Technology for a few years now."

"So?"

"It's rather interesting considering the fact that you aliens, if
that's what you and your sisters really are, were supposed to
have arrived only a few months ago."

"Have you considered that maybe we were an advance team, per-
haps?" Urd lied with practiced ease.

"But of course. What do you take me for?"

"Then why are you bringing all of this up?"

"I just found it rather interesting, that's all. Oh, there was
one other matter I wanted to talk to you about." As Nabiki said
this, she reached into her bag and brought out a set of negatives
in protective holders.

"Oh, yeah, the pictures you tried to take of me at the auto meet
in April."

"Ah, so you do recognize them. Do you realize how valuable those
were to me?" Nabiki said, feigning distress over lost treasures.

"Gee, can this be counted in thousands or tens-of-thousands of
yen?" Urd said, cutting through Nabiki's act.

"So you do have some idea, then." Nabiki confirmed, dropping the
act.

"Didn't your folks ever tell you not to make money by taking
pictures of people without their permission and then selling
them?"

"Nope, but you have to admit that it's a steady source of income
if done right."

"Especially when you're selling pictures of your younger sister
and her fiance to Kuno, right?"

"I see you know about that little operation. Anyway, if I
bothered getting permission, the resale value of the photos would
go down. Can't run a business like that, now, can we?"

"I doubt that your operation would suffer much. I've seen some
of the pictures that was in Kuno's clothes when I finally dragged
him home that day."

"Anyway, the point is that whatever it is that you did, it cost
me money. I don't forget things like that, you know."

"So you're trying to threaten me with your detective work, huh?
Well, if it'll make you feel better, here." Urd said, waving a
hand. Instantaneously, the blank spots in Nabiki's negatives
were replaced by the pictures she tried to take of Urd. "Next
time, ask." she added as she walked away to rejoin her sisters
and Keiichi.

<So the Info Babes pulled through for me after all.> Nabiki
thought in reference to her classmates Kiddy Sazan and Takaya
Michiko as she looked over the negatives. <I'll have to thank
them and get them to work at digging up even more dirt on the
sensei.>

As Urd caught up with the others, she thought <I'll have to
remind myself to have a talk with the Info Babes, as well as be
more careful around Nabiki there.>

* * * * * * * * * *

"Okay, is everybody ready?" the club officer in the kabuki
costume asked in a stage whisper while looking around the back-
stage areas.

"Almost!" Jun called out from inside the ladies' dressing room.
She held off changing into the outfit Urd made her until her
friends were done changing.

"I am here." Kuno stated as he strode into the green room in his
classiest kendo uniform. "Yes, I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue
Thunder of Furinkan high, have arrived despite the masses outside
who are obviously here to partake in hearing my florid prose in
praise of Tendo Akane and the Pig-tailed Goddess. There is hope
yet for the land of the rising sun if there are those who gather
in such numbers with such tastes in the arts."

<I should be so lucky...> Jun thought in derision.

"Stuff it, Kuno." Mariko spat out as she gave him a good whack
with an alloy softball bat she brought for such an occasion.

"That hurt, you know." Kuno said evenly as he held the impacted
area of his thick skull with his hand.

"Okay, everybody's here, then." the officer in the kabuki costume
said as he started to herd Kuno up to the stage area. "As you
all know, Kuno's first up so we've got to get him up on stage
now. Before anyone knocks him out."

"Don't tempt us." Mariko threatened as Kuno got shoved through
the curtained door leading up to the stage.

"I don't get it." Noriko puzzled. "Why are we putting him first
when we all know he's going to put the audience to sleep."

"Makes sense." Mariko said. "After all, if we put him on first
as he insisted, we get him out of the way as soon as possible."

"That reminds me, here are the earplugs and No-Doz." Jun said as
she stepped out of the dressing room to pass them to her friends.
Everyone in the room gaped in shock (if female) or lust (if male)
as they got a good look at Jun's costume. The only ones not in
shock were Joe (who saw the costume before) and Noriko (who saw
Urd's cheerleading costume previously and knew what to expect).

"Oh...my...god..." Mariko said slowly.

"You're not going up on stage in that, are you?" Rika asked in
apprehension.

What stunned most of the group was Jun in a tiger-striped one-
piece bathing suit. While that in and of itself wouldn't have
been too bad if it were normally cut, Urd designed it to be
low-cut on the bust and high-cut at the legs. Urd also added to
the costume a set of fake cat ears and tail, gloves, a shirt
collar with a red bow tie, fishnet stockings, and very high
heels. Overall, Jun felt very exposed (which she almost was) in
it.

"You weren't kidding when you said that Urd's costume designs
qualified as Tetsuo bait." Noriko said with a low whistle.

"Hey, is someone taking my name in vain?" Akagami Tetsuo said as
he strutted through the door. After one long stare at Jun, he
was right beside her. "C'mon, babe, can you give me another
chance after the auto meet? I was only trying to get in good
with the Four Wheels Club there. C'mon, what do you say?" he
oozed with false remorse.

"Not on your life, you sleaze." Jun said icily as she raised her
arm and cast a spell. Unfortunately, instead of the force bolt
spell she wanted to cast, she coated him with honey to her
dismay.

"Oooooo....honey!" Tetsuo smirked. "I didn't know you were
*that* kinky...."

"Drop dead, you pervert!" Mariko yelled as she scored a solid hit
on Tetsuo's head with her bat. Tetsuo keeled over, leaving a
smear of his usual mousse-and-gel mixture as well as honey on the
bat where it hit him.

Mariko decided not to stop there. She pointed at Mackie and
shouted at him, "Hey, mecha boy! Make yourself useful and drag
this sleazoid outside! It'll be easier to hose you off than it
would be to clean this dress." As Mackie did just that, Mariko
followed and directed him to lay Tetsuo out in front of the
crowds of Jun's followers. She then called out to the crowds
camped outside, saying, "Hey, you jerks! This pervert offended
your precious Jun! What do guys think of that?" She quickly
whispered to Mackie, "Run for it!"

She and Mackie quickly ran back into the building and shut the
door as the crowd roared and Tetsuo's screams could be heard. "I
knew those losers would be good for something." she deadpanned.

"That was pretty harsh, Mariko." Noriko muttered. "Then again,
he usually deserves it."

"True, though I'd question the choice of spell used." Mariko
agreed, then turned to Jun and added, "You thought honey was
going to stop him??"

"I didn't want to coat him in honey!" Jun tried to explain. "I
wanted to hit him with a force bolt instead!"

"Is that what you meant when you said you had poor control over
your magic?" Rika asked.

"Yeah. I screwed up again."

"You're not going to use real magic on stage, are you?" Noriko
asked as she started to get worried.

"Only low-level magic. The force bolt was at least mid-strength,
so I shouldn't mess up too bad. Hey, as they say, the show must
go on. I wonder what brought the sleazoid here in the first
place?"

"Hey, what's this?" Noriko asked as she looked down on the floor.
She bent down and lifted four bundles of flowers, one larger than
the other three. "They're from Minoru! Guess your magic display
scared him off, Jun. Here." With that, Noriko passed out the
smaller bundles, each with their name on a tag attached, and kept
the larger one for herself.

"Hmph. I sometimes wonder why a guy like Minoru puts up with
Tetsuo hanging around him." Mariko mused. "Anyway, if Minoru
shows up again, thank him for me. I'm going up there since I'm
third up after Kuno."

* * * * * * * * * *

"Excuse me, mind if we sit next to you?"

Belldandy looked up from where she was sitting to see a girl with
long brown hair tied in a tail standing beside her. "No, not at
all."

"Thanks. My family and future in-law," indicating Soun, Nabiki,
and Genma, "wanted to sit behind Ranma and Akane here to see to
it that their date goes all right."

Of course, Ranma and Akane weren't sitting alone as the Tendos
and Mr. Saotome had hoped. Shampoo, Ukyo, and Mousse also
decided to sit by them for their own reasons, while Akane had
spotted P-Chan wandering around in the foyer and brought him in
with her.

"Oh! Hi there, Kasumi!" Skuld greeted her cheerfully from her
seat between Belldandy's and Keiichi's. "This is my big sis that
I was telling you about that day. Belldandy, this is Kasumi, the
nice lady at the Tendos. You know, she'd make a better older
sister than Urd would, wouldn't she?"

"Now, Skuld, that's not a nice thing to say." Belldandy warned
her younger sister, then turned to Kasumi. "It's nice to meet
you. Skuld kept on saying that I should meet you for the past
few weeks."

"It's nice to meet you too. I knew that you were a nice person
by the way your little sister kept talking about you. She's
really sweet, you know."

<Yeah, right! She's a brat, that's what she is.> Urd thought to
herself.

"Yes, she can be rather devoted. Oh, that reminds me, this is
Keiichi." Belldandy added.

"Nice to meet you." Keiichi said by way of greeting.

"Why, hellooo there Mr. Tendo! I haven't seen you in a while!" a
little girl's voice called out from behind them.

"Why, hello there, Hinako-sensei! Are you here to enjoy the show
as well?" Soun replied.

"Actually, I'm here to make sure all the baaad delinquents don't
ruin the show for you folks!" Hinako replied while making strong-
little-girl poses. "So, mind if I sit next to you?"

"Well, it's too bad that both seats beside me are taken." Soun
answered, indicating Genma to his left and Nabiki to his right.

"Hey, Hinako! The seat next to me's empty!" Urd said.

"Oh, goody! That means you and I can work together on keeping
the bad boys and girls in line tonight!"

<Yeah, whatever.> Urd thought as Hinako took the seat next to
her.

"What?! Those idiots are letting Kuno recite poetry?!"

The group looked forward to where Ranma was shouting while
looking over the program. They took a look at their own programs
and confirmed the bad news.

"Great. Just great. What are they trying to do? Put us to
sleep early on??" Urd complained.

Meanwhile, Keiichi was reading further into the program and his
eyes came to a panicked stop on the act just before intermission.
"Um, Belldandy, I think we might have some trouble."

"What is it, Keiichi? Belldandy asked as Keiichi held the program
where she could read it and pointed the act out to her.

"What?! Jun's doing a magic act???" Skuld cried out as she read
the program as well.

"Urd! Did you know anything about this?" Belldandy demanded.

"Ooops. Did I forget to mention about Jun's magic act tonight?"
Urd asked meekly.

"No, you didn't mention it at all." Belldandy stated, unamused.
"Now, you of all people should know how dangerous it is to let
her use her power unsupervised. You know that she has trouble
with control over her spells."

"Well, she did say that she was only doing low-level magic at the
most. What harm could it do?"

"What harm could it do? Aren't you forgetting some of the damage
you two have done during her training sessions?" Keiichi pointed
out.

"Well, that was higher-level magic. If she's comfortable with
low-level spells, then I have faith in her ability as her teach-
er."

As the lights in the auditorium started to dim, Belldandy cut in,
"It's too late to do anything about it now. The show's start-
ing."

A few minutes later, after the Kabuki-costumed club officer made
his welcome, the curtain opened and Kuno strode out, oblivious to
the mere smattering of applause that greeted him.

"Hey, how come you three are clapping for that jerk?" Ranma
demanded of Kasumi, Belldandy, and Keiichi.

"Well it'd be impolite not to." Belldandy responded.

"That's right." Kasumi agreed.

"Besides, what harm could this guy do?" Keiichi asked.

"You don't want to know..." Ranma said while rolling his eyes
upward. As Kuno opened with his latest epic poem, "Magnificent
Praise to the Beauty on Earth That Is Tendo Akane and the Pig-
tailed Goddess", Ranma sat there fuming while most of the audi-
ence fidgeted in their seats. The only ones who weren't fidget-
ing were Kasumi and Belldandy, who were actually enjoying the
drawn-out piece. <Were those two separated at birth or some-
thing?> Ranma wondered.

It wasn't long before Ranma had his fill though. In fact, it was
about the time when Kuno reached the verse going into how he
should have both objects of his desire. At that, Ranma charged
the stage to attack Kuno.

"Oh, so the evil sorcerer Saotome shows himself to deny me my
deserved pleasure! Very well, he shall have a taste of my blade
at long last!" Kuno said as he drew a real katana rather than
the boken he usually used.

"Oh, my." was Kasumi's reaction.

"Hold it, you delinquents!" Hinako shouted out as she stood up in
her chair. "You dare ruin this show for the good people who came
to see it? Happo-go-en-sa-tsu!"

Keiichi and Belldandy sat in amazement as Hinako went through the
motions of her special technique while holding a five-yen coin.
Ranma was able to leap out of the way and into the rafters, but
Kuno got the full brunt of the aura drain, as usual. In moments,
the upperclassman was lying on the stage listlessly, while Hinako
was transformed into her true adult form. Keiichi was agape
while Belldandy tried to get him to look away from the voluptuous
form that was Hinako. The rest of the audience, for their part,
applauded both Ranma and the teacher for putting an end to Kuno's
poetry reading.

<Well, this wasn't so bad after all.> Mariko thought as she
walked up on stage to drag Kuno off after the curtains closed.
<Good thing that both Ranma and Hinako-sensei were in the audi-
ence.>

Working quickly, Mariko dragged the unresisting Kuno backstage
and out the door. "Hey, Kuno. Too bad your reading didn't do so
well. Maybe this crowd here will appreciate your talents in that
area when you come to." she said, referring to the still-agitated
masses of Jun's followers. She took a quick look around before
she stepped back inside.

"Well, that takes care of Kuno." Mariko told her friends as she
closed the door behind her. "I figure that either the mob
outside will, ahem, show their appreciation for his poetry when
he comes to and gives them a sample, or his poetry will drive
them away. Oh, I saw that Tetsuo was still breathing out there.
Too bad."

"Hey, you better get back up there." Rika reminded the smug
Mariko. "You're up after the next act."

"Right. I hope it goes well." Mariko acknowledged, crossing her
fingers as she went back up into the stage area.

* * * * * * * * * *

A half-hour later, Rika was finishing her first song, "Voices",
and drew a large round of applause from the audience. After
Kuno's opening act gone awry, the show went smoothly. Even
Mariko's poetry reading went without incident, other than the
pleasant surprise of the audience at how good she really was
compared to Kuno.

"Your students are really good!" Belldandy complimented Urd.

"Yeah, if you don't count Kuno." Urd replied.

"Well, even he has his talents." Belldandy countered gently.

"Wait, are we talking about the same Kuno here?" Ranma said. He
had managed to sneak back into his seat without Hinako noticing.

"Well, he does have a high level of devotion for these two girls
he wrote that poem about." Belldandy said sweetly.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Ranma muttered as he settled back
into his seat.

"Well, there are two more acts to go before Jun goes on stage."
Keiichi told Belldandy. "So, we're not out of the woods yet."

"I hope things go all right for her." Belldandy said in worry.

"I'm sure they will, if her teacher says that there's not going
to be a problem." Kasumi said in comforting tones.

"I hope you're right, Kasumi." Belldandy said.

<Gee, those two sound a lot alike.> Keiichi thought in reference
to Belldandy and Kasumi. <Maybe Skuld wasn't exaggerating after
all...>

Meanwhile, backstage, Jun was making last-minute preparations for
the act.

"Hey, guys, can you look after Jo while I'm up on stage?" Jun
asked as she passed Joe over to Mariko. She quickly realized her
mistake as Joe's surge of emotions made her flush slightly.

"Will do!" Mariko said as she gladly took the little piglet (who
was even happier than she was) off of Jun's hands.

"Now you behave, Jo, you hear?" Jun said warningly as Mariko
cradled the piglet in her arms.

<Aw, sis, you're no fun!> Joe teased mentally.

"She'll be a good little piggy, won't she?" Mariko said sweetly.
"Now go on up there, Jun, and break a leg! We'll take good care
of Jo!"

After Jun went through the door and into the stage area, Mariko
looked over herself and headed for the dressing room, still
holding Joe. "Looks like I'd better get ready for the grand
finale." She said, forgetting Jun's earlier warnings about Joe
and such situations.

"Me too." Rika said from where she stood by the door after her
first act.

As the two girls closed the dressing room door behind them, Joe
couldn't believe her luck. Even though Jun's and Urd's mistakes
changed Joe from a teenage human boy to a female piglet, Joe
still had the urges of her former self. For once, Joe was glad
for her current form as she was about to get a show of her own.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how one saw things),
things didn't go well for Joe when the two girls started to get
out of their clothes. The combination of excitement and embar-
rassment was too much for her and she let out a squeal. Rika and
Mariko looked over and saw Joe passed out with a stream of blood
coming out of her snout.

"Oh my god! How can I be so stupid!" Mariko cursed herself as
she picked Joe up off the counter where she left the piglet.
"Jun tried to warn me about this earlier, and I forgot about
that! Geez...what am I going to do now?! Jun's going to be mad
when she finds out!"

"Don't worry, Mariko." Rika said as she opened the door just wide
enough to let her head through. "Noriko? Can you come in here
for a minute?"

"What's up?" Noriko asked as she came over from where she was
whispering a conversation with Mackie.

"Something's wrong with Jo. She's got some sort of nosebleed or
something." Rika answered.

"Okay, I'm not used to dealing with animals, but I think all we
have to do is let the blood drain out of the nostrils and the
clotting will take care of the rest. I'll see to Jo while you
two finish getting ready."

While this was going on, Jun was going through problems of her
own, thanks to the mindlink she shared with Joe. First, she
experienced a wave of the lust that Joe was generating. Then,
she was hit with the embarrassment and panic that knocked out
Joe. She staggered, but held on tight to one of the supports.

In the darkness, she felt a warm trickle come from one of her
nostrils and knew what it was. She quickly charged up a bubble
of mystical energy and applied a healing spell (the only spell
she mastered well enough not to goof up) to herself and the
nosebleed was gone. <Oh, Mariko, why didn't you listen to me
when I warned you about Joe.> she thought as she recomposed
herself. <Can't worry about that now, though. Gotta get my
concentration back if I want the act to go well. I might have to
knock off some of the real magic, just in case.>

After a minute of meditation, Jun went up on stage while the
previous act got their stuff out of the way. She was glad the
darkness hid her so that the stage hands could get her props into
position undistracted.

Moments after the stage hands finished and went back to their
places, the curtain opened, and Jun was greeted by a series of
catcalls, wolf-whistles, and other noises of appreciation from
the male members of the audience. She blushed quite a bit at
this, but steeled herself as she started to go about her act.

"Where did Jun get that?" Belldandy asked in shock, wondering if
Jun was that kind of girl without her knowing it.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said, likewise.

"Hey, it looks like something Urd would wear!" Skuld yelled out.

"It should...after all, I designed it! Jun should have no
problem getting dates now." Urd said proudly.

"How did I ever guess?" Keiichi said sarcastically.

"Well, that outfit gives me the willies." Ranma said nervously,
his fear of cats coming about due to the feline styling of Jun's
costume.

"That's good." Ukyo said. "At least you won't be chasing after
her."

"That right." Shampoo agreed. "Husband no chase after magic
girl."

Nabiki leaned over and cut in, "Looks like we haven't quite
overcome your fear of cats. I guess I'll have to bring Suzie
over more often, right Ranma?"

"Th-th-that's okay, Nabiki! R-r-really!" Ranma quickly said.

"Who's this 'Suzie', Ranchan?" Ukyo asked suspiciously.

"This cat girl who's in Nabiki's class." Ranma hastily explained,
trying to allay Ukyo's jealousy. "She's not my friend! Honest!"

"Oh, and who was it that assisted her in her fight with Kodachi
earlier?" Akane asked rhetorically.

"Wait, that's different! She was up against that psycho that
time!"

As the four squabbled, Urd was sitting attentively, gleefully
taking notes. In the meantime, Jun was continuing with the act,
trying to ignore the argument in the audience, as well as the
occasional cat-call. So far, the magic show went all right,
especially since she used the standard, non-magic parlor tricks
to warm up with. She had no shortage of volunteers from the
audience when she called for one on occasion. Belldandy, who was
monitoring any use of magic, noticed this and was relieved.

<Awww, come on, Jun! When are you going to get to the real stuff
like you said you would?> Urd thought impatiently, disappointed
in the safe approach that Jun started out the act with.

It wasn't towards the end of the act that Jun finally worked up
the confidence to do at least one real magic trick. Going
through her chest of props, she ignored the yowls from the guys
in the audience as she bent over with her backside towards them
until she found the object she was looking for. Standing back up
and facing the audience, she stepped downstage holding a flower-
pot that had a wilted plant in it.

"Oh, no! I forgot to water my flowers before coming here to-
night!" she said in mock disappointment while building up a
charge of mystical energy. "Whatever should I do?"

"Uh-oh." Belldandy said quietly as she picked up on the surge of
energy on stage. Keiichi and Skuld heard this and steeled
themselves for something to go wrong. Urd, in the meantime, was
watching things in glee.

"I know! I should water this plant! What do you folks think?"
Jun continued, inviting a reply from the audience. She wasn't
disappointed when a resounding "yes" came back.

"All right, then! Here goes!" Jun said as she started to make
mystical motions with her hands. Soon a cloud formed over the
plant while the audience watched in awe.

<So far, so good...> Jun thought confidently.

"Atta girl! You can do it!" Urd called out, proud of her appren-
tice's apparent progress where control was concerned. Belldandy,
Keiichi, and Skuld were still apprehensive, though.

Unfortunately, Urd's yell caused Jun's concentration to go off
and the cloud started to rise and grow at a geometric rate.
Soon, the cloud lined the entire auditorium ceiling and everybody
looked at it nervously. Then, the rain began.

While most people were dismayed at getting wet (and Jun was even
more dismayed that the spell was screwed up in the first place),
others had their own worries...

"Aaaaaaaa! Get away from me, Shampoo!!!!"

"Meow, meow, meow!!!"

"Ranchan!!"

"Quack, Quack!"

Urd watched as Ranma-chan ran away from Shampoo-cat while Ukyo
and Mousse-duck chased after the two. "What?! Did some idiot
organize a damned field trip to the Jusenkyo springs??"

"Oh, dear!" was Belldandy's reaction, while Kasumi added her
familiar "Oh, my!".

"Great. Just great. So much for a peaceful evening out."
Keiichi muttered.

"How pathetic." was Nabiki's only comment while watching the
fleeing Ranma. Being next to her father, she was getting
drenched worse than anyone else, except for Genma, due to the
tears that were gushing out in addition to the rain.

"Well, looks like I'll have to fix things up." Urd muttered as
she stood up. A few arm motions later, the rain clouds disap-
peared.

"I'll help out." Belldandy said as she followed suit. Within
moments, everyone and everything in the auditorium was dry again.

As Urd surveyed the work she and her sister did, she felt a
sudden draft along her backside. She turned around and saw a
rather well-buffed man in a pair of shades, a maroon tank-top,
and black pants. While she normally wouldn't mind having such a
specimen of manhood around her, the problem was the fact that
this guy was holding the hem of her miniskirt up and staring
intently at her panties.

"Blue satin, I see." the stranger commented matter-of-factly.
"Jun has chosen well for her mentor."

"Why you..." an enraged Urd growled. Instead of finishing what
she said, she settled for one of her force balls, blasting the
guy through the back wall of the auditorium. "Of all the nerve!"

While Urd dealt with the strange man, Skuld looked around and saw
Akane stewing in her seat. She also saw P-chan in Akane's lap
and did a mental flashback to the day Jun arrived at the temple.
After seeing others that were victims of the Jusenkyo springs,
she put two and two together and realized that P-chan was the
"pervert" she saw transform before her eyes that day.

P-chan, for his part, looked up at the form looming over him and
Akane and recognized her as one of the girls at that temple he
was at over a month back...the one that knocked him out with a
mallet. In fact, the same figure was drawing out that very same
mallet.

With a squeal, P-chan leaped out of Akane's lap and into the
aisle. Skuld followed, mallet drawn, with a cry of "Get back
here, you pervert! You thought you could get away with what you
did at the temple?!"

"P-chan!" Akane cried out as the two started running down the
aisle.

At that moment, Ranma was coming back to his senses. When the
rain stopped, Kasumi had a large thermos full of hot water ready
and already poured it onto Ranma and Shampoo, and was about to do
the same to Mousse. "What's going on?" he asked Akane.

"Ranma, get P-chan back for me! Skuld started chasing him for no
reason at all!" Akane cried.

"Okay, okay, I'll get your stupid pig!" Ranma said as he started
down the aisle that the two ran through. <Hmph...wonder what
kind of trouble Ryoga got himself into this time?> he thought as
he saw Skuld chase P-chan backstage.

Meanwhile, Urd was grinning like a maniac. "What are you so
happy about?" Keiichi demanded.

"Jun got the right type of spell!" she said ecstatically. "Sure,
she goofed up on the power and location, but so what? She got
the spell-type right!"

"Small comfort." Keiichi said as he sank into his seat further.

Up above everyone, however, an invisible figure giggled while the
clicks of a shutter could be heard.

"Oh, boy! Urd's new apprentice screwed up the show! If this
keeps up, we'll be rid of those goddesses and sweet Keiichi will
be all mine! Won't Marller and Sayoko be sooo proud of me!"

Meanwhile, Jun had already stalked off backstage and into the
dressing room, angry at herself for screwing up yet another
spell.

"What happened, Jun?" Rika asked, not liking the look on Jun's
face.

"Nothing. I just messed up a spell, got the entire audience wet,
and caused a minor riot. That's all."

"Oh, my god." Mariko added as she straightened out her dress for
the finale. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I will be. I'm just so mad at myself. I mean, that spell
was supposed to be a minor one, and I let things get out of hand.
It's a good thing Urd and Belldandy were around to clean things
up after me."

"Hey, we all make mistakes sometimes." Mariko countered. "Don't
be too hard on yourself."

"Guess you're right." Jun sniffed as she looked around the room.
"Hey, where's Jo?"

"Right here." Noriko said quietly while pointing out where Joe
lay on the counter, still passed out.

"Yeah, I screwed up too, Jun." Mariko said apologetically. "I
forgot about your warning and brought Jo in here. She had a
nosebleed and fainted. I'm sorry."

"It's all right." Jun said quietly. "I should have made myself
more clear. Noriko, could you take Jo out of the room while I
change out of these...things...and into my dress?"

"Sure thing, Jun." Noriko replied as she took Joe out with her.
"Jo acts really strange, if you think about it. You'd almost
think she was a guy or something."

However, as Noriko opened the door, another piglet bolted into
the room. and darted behind Mariko. Skuld followed quickly,
intent on flattening P-chan with her mallet.

"P-chan!" Mariko called out as she picked up the piglet.

"Skuld! What are you doing?!" Jun demanded while Skuld slowly
approached Mariko, trying to get a clean whack on the piglet she
was holding.

"Trying to punish this pervert, that's what!" Skuld cried as she
took a few swings at P-chan. Luckily for him, Mariko's reflexes
allowed her to dodge Skuld's blows and keep P-chan safe.

"I don't see any perverts in this room, Skuld." Jun said warning-
ly. "Just a girl who's attacking an innocent piglet for no
reason at all."

"Yes, there is a reason, Jun! If you'll just hold on, I can
prove it!"

"Skuld, stop this right now!" Jun demanded.

"Hey, I don't know what's going through your mind right now,"
Mariko added, "But this is P-chan, and he's Tendo Akane's pet
pig. Where are you getting off calling him a pervert?"

"But, but..." Skuld started to explain, but Ranma burst into the
room before she could finish.

"There you are!" he yelled as he strode in and took P-chan from
Mariko. "I swear, you cause more trouble than you're worth,
pig."

"He's more trouble than you probably know!" Skuld yelled at
Ranma, still brandishing the mallet. "I know the secret about
that so-called piglet!"

"Ummmm...I don't know what you're talking about there, little
girl..." Ranma stammered, but was certain that Skuld did indeed
know some of the truth behind Ryoga and P-chan.

Before Skuld could confront Ranma, Belldandy stepped into the
room and demanded, "Skuld, what are you doing to that girl's
piglet?"

"But, but, big sis..." Skuld began.

"Now, come with me and behave yourself. Ranma, girls, I'm sorry
about Skuld here. I'm sure she'll never act like that again.
Isn't that right, Skuld?"

"Yes, big sis." Skuld said dejectedly.

As Belldandy took Skuld out with her, Ranma thanked Mariko and
took P-chan with him. When they were alone, Ranma held P-chan up
and said, "I don't want to know what you did to get Urd-sensei's
little sister upset at you, Ryoga, but I think you'd better be
careful from now on. You wouldn't want your little secret to be
leaked to Akane, right?"

"Buh-kwee!" was P-chan's only possible reply. Even though his
communication skills were almost non-existent in his cursed form,
the look on P-chan's face was enough to indicate his fear of what
would happen should Akane find out the truth about him.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Okay, are we ready?" Rika whispered to the others in her group
as they waited offstage for the next-to-last act to finish so
they can close out the show.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Noriko answered nervously.

"Same here." Jun added.

"I think so." Mariko said.

"I'm damn well good and ready!" Mackie spoke up a bit louder,
earning a glare from the others around him.

"You'd better be, or you're going to have a whole lot of dents in
that precious chassis of yours, mecha boy." Mariko threatened in
a low voice.

"Mariko, you're getting edgy again..." Jun warned her.

"Enough, everybody." Rika barked out quietly as she started
taking charge. "Curtain's closing....there! Everyone on stage!"

In a matter of moments the four girls lined up behind the closed
curtain while Mackie took his place stage right. As soon as the
previous act cleared out and the MC made his introductions, the
curtain opened. While not as racy as Jun's earlier outfit, the
girls in their silver-sequined dresses earned a large number of
wolf-whistles and other such noises from the males.

"Now that's classy!" Keiichi remarked. "Much better than Jun's
earlier costume."

"Yes, it is." Belldandy agreed.

"Oh?" Urd asked with an arched eyebrow. "And what was wrong with
the costume I designed?"

"Shhhhh!" Skuld silenced them. "They're going to begin!"

As the girls waited for their cue to begin, Mackie began playing
his guitar. Perhaps playing would be too kind a term for the
cacophony that boomed out of Mackie's twin amplifier pods.
Everyone in the building was caught by surprise as what sounded
like a combination of caterwauling, train brakes screeching, the
hissing of something frying, and other various unpleasant sounds
hit them full-force.

Mackie, for his part, was oblivious to the effects that his
guitar-playing was having on everyone else. All four girls with
him were on their knees, holding their hands to their ears in a
futile effort to block out the noise. The audience members were
likewise squirming in their seats, if not fleeing the building.

Urd was straining to stand up despite the pain that Mackie's
playing brought about. Risking the loss of her hearing, she took
one hand off of her ear and raised it to cast a spell. Moments
later, a bolt of lighting tore through the ceiling and hit Mackie
dead-on, causing him to stagger.

The resulting lull in the aural torture was enough for Ranma to
charge up a chi-ball and blast the mechanoid with it while
yelling "Moko Takabisha!"

Mackie was knocked off his feet and ended up sprawled on his
back. "Wha happened...wha'd I dooo?" was what he managed to
drone until he looked up and saw someone standing over him.

Mariko stood over the toasted mechanoid, her bat held high above
her head and fire in her eyes. "I warned you, mecha boy." was
all she said before she brought the bat down on his head. As she
repeatedly bludgeoned the mechanoid, she let out all of her rage
and stress from the past few weeks in a loud yell.

In a few minutes, Mackie was down and out while Mariko still
stood there, though with stooped shoulders and holding her bat
listlessly. As the remaining audience gave a standing ovation in
appreciation, she allowed a few tears to flow without realizing
it.

Meanwhile, Rika rushed offstage and over to where the sound
personnel were frantically trying to get the sound system back
up. Even though Mackie had his own amps, the microphones still
picked up on the sound he created and overloaded the system.

"You guys still have the accompaniment track?" Rika asked.

"Yeah," one of the techs answered, "but the system's pretty well
shot."

"I've got an idea. Give me the tape deck and come with me." Rika
said. They quickly went over to where Mackie lay unconscious and
disconnected the dented amplifier pods. As they opened up the
panels to the amps, Rika asked, "Can you hook up the deck to
these things?"

"Give me a second..." the tech answered as he hooked up the lines
between the deck and the amps. "Looks like the amps are func-
tional, even though the casings are damaged. Good thing they
have their own power supplies."

"Good, good." Rika acknowledged, relieved that at least they had
a sound system of some sort. "On my cue, start the tape.
Mariko, are you calm enough to go through with the number?"

"Might as well."

"Jun? Noriko?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute to get these churchbells to stop
ringing in my head." Jun muttered as she got up off the stage.

"You got churchbells?" Noriko asked as she lined back up with the
other girls. "I got one of those old-fashioned alarm clocks with
the bells inside my skull."

"Okay, enough comedy." Rika said. "On my cue...three...two...
one!"

As the first bars of the peppy tune, "I Want to See His Smiling
Face" sounded from the amps, the remainder of the audience
settled down while the four girls started their routine. The
steps were a bit uneven as the girls were still not quite recov-
ered from the aural bombardment, but they managed as they got
themselves in sync with the tune quickly.

When the moment came, the quartet raised their voices to begin
singing:

Since I'm thinking about it
even more than yesterday,
I really want to know how
that interrupted dream came out.

The voices, except for Rika's, weren't the best, but they were a
welcome sound to everyone after what Mackie had done. Soon,
everyone was enjoying the act, including the performers and the
techs. By the time the song was done, everyone was on their feet
and applauding how the girls recovered from such a bad start.

* * * * * * * * * *
"Now that's what I call a recovery!" Urd shouted as she celebrat-
ed with the girls backstage soon after the show came to a close.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure we could pull it off." Rika replied,
a smile on her face as well.

"Well, you did all right." Belldandy said from where she stood by
Jun.

"Whatever possessed you to let that mechanoid on stage in the
first place?" Keiichi asked.

"We didn't know he'd be that bad!" Jun explained. "We'll know
better from now on!"

"Yeah, and I made sure he can't use this guitar ever again!"
Mariko said proudly as she hefted the smashed axe like some form
of trophy. Everyone laughed at the sight.

"So, are we ready to go?" Belldandy asked Jun.

"Actually, you go on ahead. I want to party with my friends
here, if you don't mind."

"Okay, no prob!" Urd said as the rest of the temple household
started congregating together to leave. "Just call us when
you're ready to come home, okay party girl?"

"Gotcha, sensei!" Jun replied with a wave.

"Hey, anyone know what happened to the folks following Jun
around?" Keiichi asked as he looked out the door.

"Oh, I guess Kuno decided to recite poetry to them when he came
to." Mariko said in explanation of her earlier actions.

"I guess that would do it." Keiichi said while laughing, having
experienced Kuno's poetry firsthand, among other things that
evening.

Next Episode: Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

Urd's interests turn towards Ranma now that she knows about both
his curse and his relationship problems. Will he survive as she
pokes around in his affairs in order to find out just who *is*
the right one for him?

Author's Notes:

- The lyrics and title to the Marmalade Boy opening theme, Egao
ni Aitai, were translated by Robert DeLoura and are found at
Hitoshi Doi's Marmalade Boy Homepage (http://www.tcp.com/doi/
marmalade/marmalade.html). Thanks to Julian Fong, Anna Marie E.
Weber, and "Ranma Saotome" (no, not *that* Ranma!) for providing
me the information and pointers for this info.

- This story, both episodes 10 and 11, are dedicated to my late
grandfather, P. L. Ward. He passed away while the story was
being written, and was among those who were supportive of my own
involvement in my high school's drama program years ago. He'll
be sorely missed.

All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima
Kosuke and Takahashi Rumiko, respectively. All other characters
copyright Peter Ward, Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to fal...@best.com.
They're always welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;

Peter L. Ward fal...@best.com Kyusaku on IRC #Anime!
Caretaker of the Urd Shrine (http://www.best.com/~falcon/urdhome.htm)

"If you see something this big, with eight legs, let me know so I can
kill it before it can develop language skills!" - Ambassador Londo