[Ranma][Fanfic] Destiny's Wish, Part Thirty
Mike Koos
through the middle of the night. This particular fact did not go
unnoticed... more so since the day was in the process of struggling
to make it through the late-morning hours.
Somewhere within a mountain range centered within that very
darkness, a small figure stumbled out of the deep cave in which it
had been sealed - shrugging off the heavy boulder that had been meant
to seal the mouth of the cave for the remainder of Time as though it
had been nothing. A small rock or can lying at the side of the road
to be kicked out of the way, perhaps.
He stretched muscles that hadn't been used in who knew how many
years and began to stagger along the narrow mountain trail that led
past what others might have thought would be his tomb. So much to
do...
But before he could get far from his former prison, the heavens
rumbled and sent a single powerful bolt of lightning to strike him
down once more.
The lightning served exactly the opposite purpose,
unfortunately... re-energizing the man. With renewed determination,
he resumed his walk.
Destiny's Wish
Part Thirty: Who's Training Who?
written by Mike Koos
------------------------
A rainy day was certainly nothing new to the Nerima area. While
it had been raining for most of the morning - and most of the day
before as well - the unusually dark clouds that had taken up
residence in the sky the morning before stubbornly refused to go away
even when it *wasn't* raining, leaving a feeling of impending doom to
the air. Some people liked to believe it was a sign that something
bad might just be about to happen.
It wouldn't be the first time this particular part of Tokyo had
faced such a risk.
At the dojo that had become such a familiar part of the Tendo
home, both Soun and Genma noticed the sense of dread yet nonetheless
continued to spar against each other.
They each had their own reasons for organizing practice sessions
when Ranma, Ayumi and Naka were away at school. Soun was aware he
had let his own skills as a martial artist fall into neglect since
the death of his wife; he wanted to rebuild his skills, seeing as how
there was a chance he might need them to help keep the engagement
between his son and Genma's daughter in place... and keep others from
destroying it, like Shampoo and her mysterious great-great
grandmother.
Shampoo had only yesterday attempted to kidnap Ranma on her way
home from school - in plain sight of Yuka, Sayuri and nearly a dozen
other witnesses, no less! - apparently for some brand-new scheme to
snare Ayumi... except she'd failed to account for the rain's sudden
onslaught. Ranma and her friends had simply walked off under her
umbrella, leaving a fuming cat to wonder why in the world she wasn't
carrying around an umbrella of her own. Though it probably wouldn't
help much in her case, come to think of it.
Genma's fight with Ranma and Ayumi in the mountains had helped
him realize just how much he needed to improve himself. His daughter
and wife were both dangerous fighters if need be, and now both of
them were against him - with good reason. Ranma's advantages were
her speed, mobility and unpredictability. He'd taught her well
enough. Nodoka was an unflappable swordsperson who'd taken the time
to add some elements of Ninjitsu she had come across in the books
Genma had left behind to her style, so that it was difficult to sense
or second-guess her movements. A true master of musabetsu kakutou
had to be prepared for almost *anything*...
The small altar that had been so carefully maintained in the far
wall of the dojo suddenly fell from its shelf to the varnished wood
floor and shattered.
Soun studied the remnants of the altar. "Th-the kamidana..." he
said at last in a near-whisper. "It's broken. This cannot be good."
His sparring partner merely laughed. "You worry too much,
Tendo-kun. The next thing you know, you'll be telling me that this
means our demon's come back from the dead."
Soun blinked, not understanding what Genma meant. "Our
demon...?" Then he understood. "Oh, right, our demon!" He shared
in Genma's laugh... but only for a slight few seconds. How could
Genma be so casual about this? As if it could never happen again!
He grabbed the lapels of Genma's gi. "*Saotome-kun*..." he
said, menacingly.
"Don't worry!" Genma laughed uneasily, holding up his hands in
an attempt to ward off Soun's fears. "I was just joking! It
couldn't *possibly* be that!"
Soun continued to stare. He was superstitious enough to believe
that even talking about their "demon" just might bring it that much
closer back to their lives. <I hope you're right. Because if we're
wrong, we're not the only ones who will be in trouble.>
"Fight!"
"Fight!"
"Fight!"
By their practiced routine, the members of the Fuurinkan High
girls' track team chorused their battle cry after every breath and
with a specific rhythm - as each member's right foot eased onto the
pavement toes-first.
Their cry lacked its usual enthusiasm this afternoon, however.
Coach Nakao had elected to send them out on their normal after-school
run through the streets... for although the skies were so dark that
it seemed as though the clouds might release a downpour at a moment's
notice, the important thing was that it hadn't rained since this
morning. None of the team were particularly happy about the thought
of potentially being stuck in a torrential downpour in the streets,
far from the gear they'd brought to protect themselves from the rain.
A thick shirt and bloomers was never much for protecting anyone from
the rain.
Someone laughed. A low, sinister laugh. Almost... lecherous.
The team skidded to an awkward halt. Why - or *who* - would be
laughing like that? It was a good thing they were all established
runners...
That was precisely when the diminutive figure leapt out at
them... a fast-moving shadow with oddly-glowing eyes, crying out the
name of someone who wasn't among them but was a person they all knew
well.
Admittedly, it was rather hard to run when one's legs refused to
process that particular command. The girls screamed in horror as the
figure advanced on them to examine them a little more closely...
"Don't take this the wrong way, Ranma," Yuka spoke earnestly,
"but ever since you found your Mom, you've been acting a little
weird."
Sayuri turned her gaze from her friend to her sister. "Yuka!
But... I guess she's got a point." Well, *someone* had to say it.
It might as well have been Yuka.
The trio were taking the long route home from school today, and
an uncharacteristically reserved Ranma was walking behind her
friends. A casual observer wouldn't have seen much to set Ranma
apart from Sayuri or Yuka - except for the death-grip she kept on her
umbrella, just in case the rain decided to make a return appearance.
She had even looped the strap tightly around her wrist to make sure
it wouldn't go anywhere.
A ghost of a smile crossed Ranma's lips. Sayuri saw that the
cursed girl was still putting on a bit of an act for them. "Yeah..."
Ranma's voice, too, was unusually distant. "It's just that Mom's
been trying to teach me how she thinks a girl should behave."
Ah, that explained it. Sort of. "Is that how you want to
behave?" Sayuri gently inquired.
"Kinda. Well, yes and no. A little of both. Maybe the way I
usually act's better for who I am, but what am I going to do - say no
to a Mom I haven't seen nearly all my life?"
Yuka opened her mouth to say something, until a warning glance
from her sister silenced her. Ranma failed to notice this.
"She's really pushing the 'proper girl' stuff, about as much as
Dad pushed fighting on me."
That particular thought struck Yuka as odd. Ranma had said that
her mother *wanted* her to be a fighter, yet wouldn't teaching Ranma
to behave like a 'proper girl' conflict with that? "You're probably
going to have to tell her sooner or later that that's not who you
are," she said, before Sayuri could caution her. Yuka had a tendency
to speak her mind without taking much time to consider her words.
Ranma sighed. "I know, but--" Someone was screaming nearby.
No. More than one person. The confused jumble of screams made
it difficult for Ranma to tell how many people were doing the
screaming. Suddenly energized, she ran toward the source of the
disturbance. Yuka and Sayuri did their best to remain close to her.
After all, whatever was going on was already the most exciting thing
that had happened all day.
They arrived on the scene to find what appeared to be an old
man, unusually small in stature, bouncing around amidst a flustered
Fuurinkan High girls' track team and repeatedly calling out the name
'Ranma' in near-desperation... a cry which Ranma caught as she, Yuka
and Sayuri approached. Well, she was the only Ranma she knew of in
this part of Japan; plus, she had a rather infamous reputation as a
fighter, so chances were if anyone was in the area searching for a
person named Ranma, they would be looking for her.
The thing was, she couldn't recall ever meeting anyone like the
man she saw harassing the track team before her. Perhaps his size
was also an indication of his age? Ah! She *did* know someone
similar in appearance to the man - Cologne, Shampoo's
great-grandmother. Was this guy some acquaintance of Cologne's, come
to do something terrible to her?
Just great. As if she and Ayumi didn't have enough people out
to get either of them for one reason or another. <Guess I should see
if he's really looking for me first.>
Whoever he was, the man had yet to notice the three newcomers.
Neither had anyone on the track team. They were all too busy yelling
things like "It's a monster!" "Get away! Leave me alone!" and
"Pervert!"
Ranma deliberately cleared her throat. "What's going on here,
minna?"
The latest victim of the 'monster' stopped in the middle of
trying to convince the man to release his hold on her waist by means
of a few swift blows to the head. "Ah - Ranma!"
The man's eyes widened. "Ranma!?"
Ranma blinked twice, unsure how to react.
"Oooo!" he pointed at her. "Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! Oooo!"
This only served to confuse Ranma more. <Huh?>
Okay, so maybe the subtle approach wasn't working. This sweet
young girl was playing hard-to-get! But she was undoubtedly
overjoyed to see him, sure she was... "RANMA-CHAN--!!" he yelled,
making a leap from the crowd of girls to his new target. "I'VE
FINALLY FOUND YOU!"
Ranma put an end to his advance with her bookbag, trying to keep
her mother's advice about being polite in mind - a fact which didn't
go unnoticed by almost everyone else present. "You - you know this
weirdo, Ranma?" asked the runner who just a second ago had been the
target of choice for the old man.
"I... don't think so," Ranma studied the man clinging to her
bookbag. "Who are you, ojiisan?"
"I'm shocked. You really don't remember me?" Tears formed in
the man's sad puppy-dog eyes. He turned away from her and started to
cry.
"Uh... well..." She wasn't sure what to say; talking people out
of certain emotional states was not one of her skills. Here someone
she was apparently supposed to know was crying his eyes out and she
still couldn't recognize him. But then, she hadn't recognized
*Ryomi* when the Lost Girl arrived in Nerima, had she? "...Maybe if
you told me who you were or more about you, I'd remember," Ranma
ventured. It certainly wasn't proper to let him continue crying like
this. <Polite. Gotta be polite.>
"No, this won't do. Won't do at all."
Well, *that* had helped.
She never saw the gleam that formed in his eyes. "I'll just
have to settle..." The man made a dive for her... chest? "...for
letting you offer an old, forgotten man solace in your bosom!"
Ranma yelped and scrambled backward to avoid the pounce. Why
hadn't she been able to sense his intent?
"What d'you think you're trying to pull, old man?" Ayumi's
voice. She opened her eyes to find that Ayumi had stomped the older
man into the pavement before he could reach Ranma.
"Ayumi..." murmured Ranma. Great. Just great. What was the
baka doing here? This wasn't his route! She didn't need him to save
her, either!
The man blinked in surprise. "Ayumi!" He glanced between Ranma
and Ayumi.
Ranma and Ayumi. That could only mean one thing. He *had*
found them. "So, it really is you!" Moving at a nearly
imperceptible speed, he hopped over to Ranma, burying his face in her
chest. "Oh, Ranma-chan!"
She screamed. "*IYAAAAA*--!! You... you *PERVERT*!" Ranma
tore the man away from her and pounded him with her fists several
times in succession.
<Your own fault for ticking her off like that, old man.> Ayumi
smirked. For once it wasn't him that Ranma was furious toward on the
premise of being a pervert. This guy really *was* a pervert!
The man merely brushed himself off. "As I'd hoped. The
daughter of Saotome Genma is indeed strong in both body and spirit."
Ranma hesitated, warily narrowing her eyes. Was this another
ploy to catch her off-guard? "You know my Dad?" Not that it was
going to do the old pervert much good right about now...
"Yes, and Tendo Soun as well. They consider me to be a very
important person. If it's not too much trouble, I would like to see
them again."
"Well... I *guess* we could take you home with us... What do you
think, Ayumi?" Ranma asked in apparent resignation.
Ayumi shrugged. "I guess it's okay, if he really does know our
dads..." Though that in itself really didn't account for much at
present.
"Okay, come on," Ranma told their new guest. She was in no way
about to forgive him for what he'd done to her, but she was still
supposed to be putting on an air of politeness. "But you'd better
not try anything, or grope me again, or..."
"As you wish, dear girl."
An abrupt change from pervert to polite. Now, she was even more
suspicious of him. "Sayuri, Yuka..." Ranma nodded to her friends.
"I'll call you later, okay?"
"Okay!" Sayuri grabbed her sister by the wrist and left. She
didn't envy Ranma in the least for having to escort a verified
pervert to her home. Of course, she knew what Ranma would say in
response to that thought: "Who, Ayumi?"
By the time Ranma and Ayumi arrived at their house, the man -
whom had introduced himself as ';Happosai' - hadn't been able to
resist a long, obvious leer at Ranma... who was doing her best to
keep her well-known temper reigned back. Ayumi figured that the man
was working his way up to another grope attempt. He was inclined to
let that happen; Ranma would imbed their 'guest' into the pavement,
courtesy of her mallet, and they'd both be done with him.
Then again, for all he knew the tomboy threw rationality out the
window whenever she was angry. She'd find some utterly ridiculous
excuse to get mad at *him*, too, and flatten him as well - if he was
lucky. <Girls. Why me?>
Ayumi could see that Ranma wasn't going to let herself be
distracted from watching Happosai in case the old pervert wanted to
try anything, not even as they removed their shoes in the foyer of
their home. That was why it fell upon him to announce their return.
"Tadaima!" he called into the air. "Dad, Mr. Saotome? Where are
you?"
"In the dojo!" came his father's exhausted voice.
Ayumi glanced at Ranma. "Must be sparring with your dad again."
"Yeah."
The unlikely trio walked through the halls on their way to the
dojo's indoor entrance. Happosai seemed to be taking in every
detail. <He looks like he's memorizing the layout of the place or
something,> thought Ayumi.
"Ah, Ayumi, Ranma. You're home," Soun greeted them. He
wondered why the older man who had followed the children into the
dojo looked strikingly familiar to him... "Put on your practice
clothes and we can--"
He remembered. So, too, did the panda. Both stared in absolute
wide-eyed horror at the man they had wanted to believe was no longer
a threat to the world.
"Oh, don't mind me," Happosai smiled. "In fact, I wouldn't mind
watching Ranma-chan change her clothes, either."
"I'll just bet you wouldn't, *pervert*," Ranma muttered under
her breath.
Happosai took the opportunity to walk toward the two stunned
fathers. "Hello, Soun. It's good to see you again after all these
years."
Soun swallowed hard, found his voice. "H-Honored Master! You
don't know how wonderful it is to know you are safe and unharmed!"
Crying, he brought Happosai into a tight hug.
"Honored Master...?" wondered Ranma.
Happosai laughed. "I knew I could count on the two of you!"
Ranma was surprised; she'd never heard of either her father or
Mr. Tendo having a teacher. She had assumed for the most part that
they had taught themselves everything they knew of the martial arts.
This old pervert was a martial-arts master? How much of what she had
learned was passed down from him?
Then she noticed that Soun had maneuvered himself into a
position where he could keep his 'honored master' from moving and
brought a clenched fist down upon Happosai's head... <That explains
the hug.>
However, she wasn't able to see the old man raising a single
finger to intercept Soun's fist. He casually levered Soun across the
dojo and into the wooden floor with enough force to almost rip parts
of Ranma's dress uniform from her as Soun passed - had she not been
stubbornly refusing to allow such a thing to happen.
But to have easily thrown Soun like that... the old pervert did
have to be fairly skilled at the martial arts.
She saw that Happosai was heading toward the closest end of the
dojo, where her father was hurriedly trying to make himself appear to
be an ordinary panda. Half-eaten bamboo shoots and an old rubber
tire lay on the floor around the panda. <Otousan no baka.> It
figured her father would take the coward's way out... Oh, he'd act
like Mr. Supremely Invincible Martial Artist, but place Genma in a
situation in which he was obviously outmatched and he'd cower like a
frightened child off in a corner somewhere.
"Ah, Saotome Genma. Just who I was looking for," Happosai said
to the panda, seemingly not the least bit fooled by the act *or* the
fact that Genma just happened to be a notably large panda at the
moment.
The panda held up a hand-inked sign. [You are mistaken. I am a
panda.]
<Oh, right, Dad. Like that's REALLY gonna fool anybody.>
Happosai grinned. "You always were one to joke. I must say,
I'm impressed by how well young Ranma and Ayumi have turned out."
Both Ayumi and Ranma stared at him on hearing the remark. <This guy
knew me when I was a little kid?> Ranma withdrew a step. <Eww... no
telling *what* he's been thinking about me all this time!>
As if sensing her thoughts, Happosai leered at her. <Yes, very
well, indeed.>
Soun edged closer to Genma. "*Saotome-kun*...," he hissed.
"He'll never leave as long as we're here!" Ayumi and Ranma weren't
aware of the danger the Honored Master posed to them - especially
Ranma. The young woman did have a Jhusenkyou curse to hide behind,
but that definitely would not deter Happosai for long.
"Guess they really *do* know the little pervert, huh?" shrugged
Ranma.
Ayumi smirked. "Yeah, but not as an old friend."
After everything had settled down - and after Happosai had left
the dojo for other parts of the house in search of a few good bottles
of hard liquor - Soun and Genma sat down to tell the story of their
last encounter with their 'Honored Master.'
"You see, shortly before you and Ranma were brought into this
world, Ayumi, our Honored Master insisted on taking us on what he
claimed would be the most important training trip of all time. But
it turned out to be nothing more than an excuse for him to party
anywhere he wanted in Japan - and putting us through a living hell."
"The least of our problems was having to work off the bills for
all the 'free' meals and drinks he enjoyed at our expense. When he
couldn't do that, he had us raid nearby towns and villages for
cattle, liquor, party favors... anything he wanted."
"To 'train' us further, he chained us to trees while he ate
the meat he cooked and sat inches out of our range, fanning the smell
of the meat toward us."
Ranma gasped. "He didn't let you eat?"
"Nothing at all," answered her father. "Nor did we have any
money or time in which to eat."
"That's terrible!"
Soun gave her a solemn nod in reply. "Yes, it was. Our Honored
Master can be much worse than what you have seen so far." That,
Ranma didn't doubt in the least.
He continued. "Finally, we had had enough. It took us a while
to get the necessary items, but we decided it was worth it for all we
had been through. We took several casks of the strongest alcohol we
could find and added a special drug to it."
"When the Honored Master fell asleep," Genma picked up the
story, "we tied and chained him up in one of the casks, dropped him
in the deepest cave we could find with several lit sticks of
dynamite, and then quickly sealed the cave with a giant boulder
covered with spirit wards."
<Wow,> Ayumi was impressed. <The little pervert took all that
and is still around to talk about it?>
"We thought we and the rest of the world were finally rid of
him, but--"
Soun's words were cut short as he noticed that Happosai had
returned, dragging a cardboard box full of hard liquor bottles behind
him. The old man laughed. "Reminiscing is always so much fun, isn't
it?" He took a long swig straight from one of the bottles. "But, as
you can see, your efforts were wasted. It is not possible for you
or anyone else to get rid of me that easily."
<He did it *again*!> Soun struggled to keep his anger from
showing. The old man had found his special stash of liquor, to be
saved for extremely special occasions - like a wedding between Ayumi
and Ranma, for example - even though Soun had all but buried the
bottles in a padlocked metal strongbox out in the yard! He'd had to
keep his 'treasure' out of Genma's reach, after all... but he hadn't
forseen that he would have to keep *Happosai* from finding it as
well. The 'Honored Master' seemed to have an uncanny ability for
finding things no one wanted him to find. "Well..." Soun said at
last, his eyebrows beginning to furrow.
"That doesn't mean..." added Genma.
Both turned, and targeted Happosai with their clenched fists.
"...we can't prove you wrong!" they growled in unison.
Ranma watched, visibly shocked, as Happosai quickly turned the
pair of martial artists into a twisted mess on the floor. She
smirked... mostly out of disbelief. The 'great' Saotome Genma,
self-pronounced invincible martial-artist, defeated *this* easily by
a small, old man? There was much more to this 'Happosai' than
appearances indicated. It would be a good idea not to underestimate
him.
Not that she tended to underestimate her opponents, of course;
that was one of Ayumi's bad habits.
Happosai wrapped an arm around a bottle of sake slightly taller
than him and dragged it over to the pile that had been his students a
few minutes ago so that he could savor the alcohol while sitting atop
the pile... what better way to remind Soun and Genma why he was their
Honored Master than to add his insult to their injury?
"Y-you misunderstood!" they heard Soun's voice make a strangled
attempt to be heard from within the pile. "We were only kidding,
Honored Master!"
Happosai sighed. He pulled out his faithful old smoking pipe
and idly twirled it between his fingers, then glanced down at Soun.
"I see. You can rest easy, though. I didn't come here to take you
on another training mission."
Any indication of relief that might have been present in Soun's
voice was masked by a stronger sense of dread. "You didn't?" If the
Honored Master hadn't come to recruit them for another so-called
training voyage, he must have come to stay at their house and party
*here*.
*And* try, very much so, to get close to the only girl in the
house: Ranma.
What other reason could there be?
"As you no doubt know, I am no longer young, myself." Happosai
wistfully puffed on his pipe. "I have decided that it is time to
choose my eventual replacement as the Supreme Honored Master of
musabetsu kakutou."
His 'students' paled. Within a matter of seconds they had run
off to pack their bags and were preparing to leave.
"I just remembered - we're supposed to be in Shikoku."
"Oh, yes," Genma agreed. "It completely slipped my mind."
Ranma frowned. <Right. Like you actually have a mind, you big
coward.>
"And just *where* do the two of you think you're going?"
"Shikoku," they answered.
"I can't believe how chicken you two are. Afraid of a little
old man," snorted Ayumi.
"This from the guy who nearly got his butt kicked by a 'little
old woman,'" Ranma said knowingly in an aside to Ayumi.
"Shut up!" he hissed in response. Turning his attention back
to Soun and Genma, he continued. "I thought you guys WANTED to be
the supreme masters of musabetsu kakutou! Besides, if one of you
takes over for him, you won't have to ACT like him, right?"
Soun came to stand behind his son. "Honored Master, I would
hereby like to nominate my son, the strongest martial artist in the
family, as a candidate." Naturally, this caused Ayumi to glare
suspiciously at him.
Happosai studied Ayumi through narrowed eyes. "He needs to
learn respect and patience. I'm not sure if he will do." He turned
a lustful leer on Ranma. "As for you, sweet Ranma-chan..."
Ranma's entire body tensed. She now had a good idea what the
old pervert had in mind. Now all she had to do was learn how to
second-guess his 'attacks...'
...before he tried to bury himself in her chest again, she
thought, as the old pervert did just that. Again he'd managed to
pounce on her before she could use her martial artist's senses to
detect what his course of action was going to be.
She screamed. "KYAA----"
Ayumi dumped a bucket of water on her. As she transformed, the
seams of her uniform jacket separating under the strain, her chest
flattened and a surprised Happosai fell to the floor.
"You have a Jhusenkyou curse, too?" Happosai asked the former
girl.
Ranma growled. "Kono..."
He drew his mallet and attempted to flatten Happosai - but the
old man managed to dodge the strike by leaping out of the way.
Ayumi snatched him out of the air. "This is all your fault,
boy!" Happosai glared at him accusingly. "How dare you change my
beautiful Ranma-chan into a boy!"
The cursed girl was becoming more furious by the second. "I am
NOT your beautiful Ranma-chan!"
Ayumi considered an insult but thought better of it. Knowing
Ranma, she wasn't that far from turning all that anger on *him*.
"Oh, shut up, you dirty old pervert!" he settled for responding to
Happosai's complaint instead. "You might scare our fathers, but you
don't scare me! I'll pound the crap out of you!"
With an almost unconcerned manner, Happosai brought his pipe
between Ayumi's wrists - securing it against the closest wrist - and
twirled it. The resulting force sent Ayumi spiraling through the
dojo roof.
"Ayumi!" Ranma called his name, shocked. How could the old
pervert have thrown Ayumi so far with so little effort? He knew he
could throw the baka quite far with all her effort, though not *that*
far. It was a shame he hadn't been in a position to see exactly what
Happosai had done; then, she might have been able to work out her own
version of the move as she had the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken.
Happosai's pipe had returned to his mouth. "He might do,
indeed. With a little... training." He glanced in Ranma's
direction. "Now, my dear. Let's see about getting you some hot
water. Perhaps you wouldn't mind climbing into the bath with me?"
Ranma tried to mallet him again, but Happosai somehow avoided
being struck, frustrating Ranma more when the old pervert took up a
perch atop the head of the mallet. He tried a few more times to no
avail.
"I take it you don't want to, then? What a pity." Happosai
dashed over to Soun and Genma, not giving Ranma a chance to attack
him another time. "Have my room ready at once," he ordered them.
"Y-yes, Honored Master."
Ranma narrowed his eyes and scowled.
She found Ayumi crouched on the roof next to the hole he'd made
on departure.
After their fathers had taken Happosai to his guest room - far
away from hers, thankfully! - Ranma had gone to the kitchen for some
hot water to change back to her proper form, then to her room for a
change of clothes. Ayumi would have to pay later for ruining her
school uniform. Didn't he know how much trouble she had to go
through to get them... *or* sew them back together after they had
been ruined by her transformations? The store she bought her
uniforms from was practically on the verge of offering her a
'frequent customer' discount. For now, she only wanted to see
whether or not Ayumi was okay.
"He said that!?" Ayumi exclaimed after she told him about
Happosai's evaluation of him.
"Yeah." She stared nervously at the damaged roof. "Um, when
are you coming down? It's been about twenty minutes, already..."
"I'll be down later!"
His tone caused Ranma to frown. "Don't tell me YOU'RE afraid of
that pervert, too! Or..." She studied him for a second. "...you're
still hurting after that throw?"
Ayumi was, but he didn't want Ranma to know that. "There's
nothing wrong with me!"
<You want to rephrase that?> "Maybe you're worried that an even
bigger pervert's come along to take your place," she said, knowingly.
She would think that. "I am *not* a pervert, you kawaikune
tomboy!"
"Then *why* did he think you'd be perfect to replace him?"
"I don't care what you think!" yelled Ayumi. "There's no way
I'm gonna have anything to do with that old pervert!"
As if on cue, the roof collapsed further underneath Ayumi, and
he fell to the floor below.
** ** **
The next morning found Ranma in the bathroom, brushing her teeth.
"Stupid old pervert..." she grumbled. "If it wasn't for
worrying about him, I might've gotten some sleep last night."
She realized she was putting more effort than was necessary into
brushing her teeth and directed the energy elsewhere. "And he wants
Ayumi to be just like him, too. Like he really needs the help."
Well, it was a good thing she'd remembered to lock the outer
door before starting her normal morning routine in the bathroom.
Neither one of the perverts would be bothering her in here.
Or would they?
At once she became aware that a certain someone was in the room
with her, running his hands up and down her rear... "Oh, yes,"
Happosai spoke in a contented tone. "The best time to pick them is
in the morning..."
She didn't even want to know what he meant by that.
Before her anger had built to a suitable-enough point for
unleashing upon the old pervert, Ayumi made his appearance to toss a
bucket of cold water over her, triggering her transformation.
"Leave her alone, you pervert!" Ayumi confronted Happosai,
throwing the bucket aside. Happosai met Ayumi's angry glare with one
of his own.
But nothing would ever come of the confrontation. A furious
growl from the sidelines reminded them that Ranma was still there...
and very, *very* angry.
"CAN'T I HAVE ANY PRIVACY IN THIS BATHROOM!?" yelled Ranma.
Another step, and he place-kicked the two intruders through the
bathroom ceiling.
"Yes, your daughter is very energetic indeed, Genma," Happosai
maneuvered around the bowls on the table to stand near the food he
wanted - which just happened to be the exact same food Soun was in
the process of reaching for. With Genma around, literal tug-of-wars
over pieces of food had become common. Ranma had originally had very
similar eating habits - well, who *wouldn't*, after living on the
road for most of their life alongside Genma? - but now that she was
living something resembling a normal life, her eating habits had come
to resemble those of an ordinary person.
"That was mine!" Soun protested.
Ranma looked away in disgust. She'd quickly changed herself
back to normal after ejecting Ayumi and Happosai from the bathroom,
and had to spend the remainder of the morning on guard to make sure
there weren't going to be anymore sudden appearances. As such, she
wanted nothing to do with either pervert for the time being. "Go
away," she said through clenched teeth.
She was down to her last spare uniform, too. If that... *baka*
threw water on her again today just so he could foil the *other*
pervert's attempts to do something to her...
Happosai, however, had switched to pestering Ayumi. With a
practiced motion the old pervert drew a lacy pink bra from within his
gi and dangled it from the end of his chopsticks in front of Ayumi's
face, while simultaneously stopping Soun's attempts to grab food from
Ranma and Ayumi's side of the table.
<He steals girls' underwear, TOO?> Ranma thought. The first
chance she had, she was going to have to find a way to lock her
underwear drawer. Maybe her mother knew where to find furniture with
drawers that could be locked.
Then again, a simple lock probably wouldn't stop this particular
pervert for long. Maybe there was a way one of those car anti-theft
systems could be modified to work on her furniture... or if *that*
failed, she could rig her dresser to explode, like she'd seen once
somewhere in the movies. Happosai wouldn't be able to swipe her
underwear then, would he?
Ranma shook her head. She shouldn't have to be thinking about
these kinds of things at all! Stupid perverts...
"Tell me, boy - how do you feel about this?" Happosai continued
to dangle the undergarment in Ayumi's face. "Does it excite you in
any way?"
From the way the chopsticks broke in Ayumi's grip, he was trying
hard not to lose his cool, Ranma saw. "No, it doesn't! I'm not that
type of person!"
Ranma withheld the comment that immediately came to her mind.
Surprisingly, Ayumi's comment seemed to come as a rather big
shock to Happosai. "It... it doesn't excite you?" His eyes grew
wide.
He put on a show of tears. "You disappoint your Honored Master
so..."
"You are NOT my Honored Master!"
"Ah," Happosai said, straightening. "Very well, then."
Ayumi leaned forward. "And what d'you mean by that?"
An ominous expression fell over Happosai's face. "Just this: if
I should happen to defeat you in a fight, you will have no choice but
to unconditionally accept me as your teacher."
<Oh, not *this* again!> The alarm bells were ringing in Ranma's
thoughts. Would Ayumi listen to her if she warned him? No. But she
had to try. "Don't do it, Ayumi!"
As she'd predicted, he ignored her. "A fight, huh?"
"Why do you keep acting like you're invincible? Didn't the
fight with Shampoo's grandma teach you *anything*!?"
Ayumi snorted, barely bothering to glare down at her from his
position on the fence. "I won, didn't I?"
"Only with Shampoo and I helping you!" Ranma said sourly. She
shifted her bookbag in front of her. "You can't count on the Nekoken
every time you fight a strong opponent, you know! Sooner of later,
you're going to have to learn how to fight for real!"
"I know how to fight for real, thank you." He hopped off the
fence.
"Do not."
"Shut up."
Ranma hid her smirk from him. "You're becoming more of a
pervert already."
"Hmph. Shows how much you know."
They crossed through the gate into the Fuurinkan courtyard. "I
know he said he'd fight you during school today. Aren't you at all
worried?"
Wait, Ranma wondered. When had *she* become the voice of reason?
Ayumi waved her concern away. "Nah. I can take him. He's just
a little old pervert!"
He stopped short of mentioning to Ranma that he thought the
man's reputation was highly overrated, especially considering that
most of that reputation came from their fathers... who were cowering
in fear of the man. Honestly, how much of a threat could this
'Happosai' truly be? He couldn't even remain serious, choosing
instead to drool over every young girl he met. That included Ranma -
who was none too happy about having the old lech grope her - and
Ayumi didn't blame her in the least. It would serve the demented old
man right if Ranma pounded him flat, in Ayumi's opinion. Several
times.
** ** **
Most of the school day passed without much incident at all -
which was troubling for Ayumi, as wondering when Happosai was going
to appear was driving him up the wall. Why was Ranma so calm? Oh,
right... she wasn't the old pervert's target, though Happosai wasn't
beyond trying something if he got close enough to her.
As the final bell of the day was trailing off into silence,
seemingly acting as a starter's pistol, the sound of rushing
footsteps became evident to those in the courtyard who were already
on their way home.
A familiar figure burrowed his way through the crowds. Happosai,
clutching a sack easily at least three times his size, was fleeing
from a mob of angry girls.
"Come BACK here, you THIEF!" a girl in jogging sweats swiped at
him with a pushbroom.
"Give them back!"
Ranma and Ayumi stepped out onto their classroom's balcony along
with several others to see what the disturbance was.
"*There* he is!" Ayumi leapt onto the railing and to the ground
three stories below before Ranma could stop him. "What are you up
to, you old pervert?" he called out to Happosai.
Happosai greeted him with a wave, but didn't bother to stop.
"Oh, hello, Ayumi!" An idea struck him. He took his sack and threw
it to Ayumi.
The bag unraveled in Ayumi's hands. "Huh?" he thought aloud.
"Bloomers?" That was what the sack had been filled with... a large
pile of girls' bloomers. *Used* bloomers...
In the next instant that fact became painfully obvious as the
mob who happened to own this particular pile of clothing caught up to
him and beat him into the ground. "Another weirdo!" he heard in
between stomps. "Working with that old guy!"
He considered denying he had anything to do with Happosai, but
was aware from experience with Ranma that it wouldn't do him any
good. Ranma never listened; why would a whole mob of girls that was
disgusted with him bother to listen to him?
Around the corner of a nearby building, Happosai breathed a sigh
of relief. It had been a pity to have to sacrifice his haul, though
he had effectively turned it into an endurance test for Ayumi.
He took the time to light his pipe.
Ayumi popped up to shove him from his perch before Happosai had
a chance to enjoy a solitary puff from the pipe. "YOU!!" he
growled, venom surging into his voice. Only Ranma could be more
furious than him toward the old man right about now.
Happosai feigned innocence. "How could you sneak up on me like
that? Why, I could have had a heart attack..."
"Oh, cut the act! You're the one who stole those bloomers!
Those girls wanted to beat YOU up!"
No response. Ayumi snorted and decided to resort to a different
tactic. "So THIS is what you wanted to come here for? To swipe
girls' bloomers? I thought you wanted to fight!"
"That, my dear pupil, is merely a side benefit." Happosai
peered intently into the bowl of his pipe. "I do intend to train
you."
He never gave up, did he? Ayumi rolled his eyes in an effort to
control his temper. "I'm not your pupil. When are you gonna
understand that? I'm not your pupil!" <Geez, he's just as ignorant
as the other old bat...>
"Soun and Genma rebelled at first, as you do now. In time, you
will recognize the truth," said Happosai, resting his eyes.
The truth? "The truth is, you're an old pervert, and you've got
no business calling yourself anyone's master!" To prove his point he
aimed a punch at Happosai's head.
Happosai was not at all concerned. To Ayumi he appeared to
blink out of existence at the spot where he had been and then
reappeared, sitting atop the wrist Ayumi had just pushed forward.
"Oh, so you're challenging me?" Happosai tapped out a small clump of
burning ash from his pipe onto Ayumi's knuckles.
Ayumi swiped at him with his remaining fist. "You stupid -
Yeah! I'm challenging you!" He grit his teeth... more in pain than
anger. When he glanced up Happosai was hopping back and forth across
a low-hanging branch...
"You'll never win in a fight against me," the older man taunted.
Damn it! Was Happosai actually teleporting, or was the pervert
merely moving too fast for him to see? It was *so* frustrating; he'd
had so many opportunities to improve his speed and now that he needed
it - nothing!
He was grateful that he still had his skill to fall back upon.
<No way am I gonna lose to that elderly pervert!> "That's what you
think! I'm MORE than a match for you!"
Happosai smiled and shook his head. "No, you aren't. Not yet,
anyway." A quick sweep of his hand, and the bra he had used to try
to tempt Ayumi with hours earlier was back, dangled inches from the
boy's face.
"Get that *thing* out of my face!" snarled Ayumi. He was sick
of this game.
His would-be sensei made a few clicking noises of disapproval.
"Such a pity. But you will learn." Happosai lapsed into a run...
and Ayumi followed, as he had expected. The boy was so
predictable... "Forget it! You've got nothing I'd want to learn!"
Ayumi hesitated when Happosai veered toward a group of girls on
their way out of the schoolyard and plowed through them, flipping up
their dresses as he did so. <Wh-what?> His face reddened as he made
an effort not to look.
A hand reached out to grab Happosai by the back of his gi. A
girl. He could sense her. A young, pretty girl had deliberately
grabbed him...
She brought him up to her eye level. "Oh, Ranma-chan." He
offered her a casual wave.
Ranma glared at him. "Don't 'Ranma-chan' me! I want to know
why you're bothering everyone." Meanwhile, the girls whose dresses
Happosai had lifted were lining up nearby for a shot at pounding him.
Then again... if *Ranma* was the one who held the little
pervert, that wouldn't really be necessary.
"I am not bothering anyone! Ayumi challenged me to a fight!"
"He did, did he, now." Ranma narrowed her eyes. This looked
more like an excuse for Happosai to torment the female half of the
Fuurinkan High student body than an actual fight.
It was bad enough she had to put up with the pervert on a daily
basis as a new member of the Tendo household; she wasn't about to let
him pull the same stunts with everyone else at school.
Happosai nodded. "And just because he doesn't want the bra I
offered to share with him!"
"Huh?" Ranma echoed the confusion of everyone else present.
Was the pervert saying that he and Tendo Ayumi were working together?
Ayumi ran up to them and brought his fist down on Happosai's
head, almost knocking him out of Ranma's grasp. "I TOLD you, I'm NOT
that kind of person!"
Ranma made a face. "All of this is about a bra?" She shuddered
in revulsion.
"Of course not!" Ayumi growled. Happosai was following their
exchange, glancing between them. "That's just what the old pervert
thinks!"
"Because it is at the root of our conflict, my pupil. Are you
afraid you will lose to me?"
Ayumi glared down at him. "Never!"
"Then you shouldn't be afraid to accept this bra as your most
treasured possession, should you lose."
Pause. "I already told you, I'll NEVER lose to an old pervert
like you!" Ayumi pulled Happosai away from Ranma and threw him
across the courtyard.
Ranma pursed her lips. <Ayumi...>
Happosai then took three steps back toward Ayumi... and turned
into a giant.
Somewhere, at some point within his life - it probably should
have been a valued memory, yet he couldn't recall anything about that
particular time - Happosai had learned to project his ki into a
forty-foot image of himself that could physically do anything the
real Happosai could do on a larger scale.
There *was* one glaring drawback to the projection technique,
however: it took immense amounts of one's ki to project such a
precise image, much less have the image actually *do* anything. He
could only maintain a projection for somewhere close to five minutes
before the strain would affect his body.
More than ten minutes, and there was no telling how many days he
would be unconscious.
He did know of ways to steal ki from others... but most of the
ways that could be used during a fight involved a sacrifice he
couldn't - or wouldn't - take.
Satisfied at last that he'd made his point to Ayumi, Ranma and
everyone else on the field, Happosai withdrew his projection.
And he had made his point, hadn't he? He could see the slight
tremble Ayumi was trying to hide. "You might as well take it now,
Ayumi," he laughed. "Because you have already lost!"
The last word brought all of Ayumi's defiance surging back at
once. Lose, to some hyperactive old pervert? No way! "Not on your
life, old man!" He threw another punch which was easily dodged.
Ranma closed her eyes and sighed. This was already becoming a
match for Ayumi's fight with Cologne, only the baka couldn't see the
similarities! <Maybe I should start looking around for a cat or
two,> she thought, sourly.
The old man was still cackling. *That* was familiar, too.
"Would you like me to give you a simpler indication of my true
powers?" He sprang into the air toward Ayumi, hand outstretched like
a cat's paw with claws extended... and focused his ki into a giant
representation of that hand around him.
Ayumi yelped without realizing he'd done so.
Even Ranma knew what Happosai intended to do - he was going to
pick Ayumi up as though Ayumi were nothing but a tennis ball and
fling him aside. Again, she found herself slightly frightened and
concerned for Ayumi's safety - but at the same time, her mind was
wondering if there was a way she could somehow develop her own
version of the technique Happosai was using.
She couldn't help thinking of one possible use for the
technique... Ranma imagined herself confronting Ayumi with her usual
cry of "Ayumi no BAKA!" and a *large* projected mallet to back her
words up...
Ranma was vaguely aware of a group of girls - most likely the
girls' track team - yelling "Fight! Fight! Fight!" as they marched
past in the distance, but since such an occurrence was normal at this
school, she paid little attention to it.
When she turned her full attention back to the fight, Happosai
and his projected image had vanished without a single trace. She
looked around; apparently no one else knew where the old man had
suddenly vanished to.
"What? Where *did* he go?" she blurted, walking over to
Ayumi's side. "You okay, Ayumi?"
Ayumi was clearly shaken, though unharmed. "H-he's more
dangerous than he appears."
"Really. Can I say 'I told you so' now?"
He growled at her but decided to let the issue drop. "We'd
better find him before he does something we're all gonna regret."
<Who better to find a pervert than another pervert?> Before she
could voice that insult, a now-familiar set of screams broke the
decidedly uneasy silence.
The girls' track team.
"I think I know where he is," said Ranma, matter-of-factly.
They ran to the locker rooms. Ranma peered in through the open
window. From what she could hear of the screams and see, the team
had discovered Happosai's presence while they were changing clothes
back to their school uniforms. They were busy screaming at him and
throwing almost everything they could find at him.
"Nothing but a pervert."
Huh? Ranma glanced to her right to find that Ayumi was also
watching the scene. She brought up an arm - both to cover his eyes,
and to 'hide' him from the team in the locker room... who wouldn't be
all that happy to find another male staring at them right about now.
"You're one to speak. Get away from the window!" she admonished him.
"But..." Happosai's pitiable tone and puppy-dog eyes were having
no effect on the girls. "I thought you would be happy to see me,
since I had to neglect you previously!"
Ranma let herself slump against the wall outside the locker room
and sighed.
(end)
------------
Credits:
Written by: Mike Koos
Pre-readers: Richard Beaubien, Jonathan Ng, Tom Williams, David Wills
With apologies to Takahashi Rumiko...
All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at
ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works
or from my WWW pages at
http://www.anime.usacomputers.net/~makoto/index.htm
Comments and questions welcome.
Note: As I'm posting this, we're temporarily having a few problems
with the server, so my page may not be available.
*****************************
* Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos * "I can do nothing to stop you.
*---------------------------* Your background music is too
* email: mak...@mother.com * strong for me."
***************************** - Whose Line is it Anyway?
www: http://www.anime.usacomputers.net/~makoto/index.htm