[Ranma][FanFic][Lemon] Not Ranma 1/2 v1p2: Lemon Tea
Mr Nuke999
whoever she sold it to.
Warning: This is a lemon fanfic, that is to say that it
contains sexual situations. If this offends you, or if you are
not a legal adult in your area, then don't read this. If you
do, then I'm not responsible.
Not Ranma 1/2 vol 1 part 2
Lemon Tea
By Andy Wennersten
The birds chirped as the sun rose over the Tendo
Dojo.
Nabiki yawned and opened her eyes to see Ranko
sleeping peacefully next to her. She gently nudged the girl in
an effort to wake her.
Ranko moaned and rolled over. "I don't wanna go
to school today." she said in her sleep.
Nabiki giggled and nudged her harder.
Ranko moaned louder and rolled onto her back.
"Go away, Yoiko. We're supposed to be on vacation." she
said, still asleep.
Nabiki was faintly annoyed at being mistaken for
another woman. She was tempted to push Ranko off the
bed and onto the floor, but came up with a better idea.
"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." Nabiki said and gave her a
kiss.
Ranko smiled and opened her eyes. "Good morning,
Love." she said.
"That depends. Why did you think Yoiko was
waking you?" Nabiki asked with a serious look on her face.
"Err...it's not what you think." Ranko said. "She's
usually the one that has to drag me out of bed."
"Relax, Ranko, baby." Nabiki said with a grin.
"You're past love life doesn't bother me. Actually, I think
it's kind of a turn on."
"Hate to disappoint you." Ranko said. "Yoiko is
one of the most heterosexual people I know."
"Homophobic?" Nabiki asked.
"We wouldn't be friends if she was." Ranko replied.
"It doesn't bother her that I like girls as well as guys. It's
just not something she would ever want to do."
"What about you as a guy?" Nabiki asked.
"If we were strangers, maybe." Ranko answered.
"But since we've known each other since we were children,
she'll always think of me as a girl."
"Probably just as well." Nabiki said. "If her reaction
to the opposite sex is anything like Ryoga's, then taking her
virginity will prove difficult."
"Oh, I solved that problem." Ranko said offhandedly.
"No more nosebleeds for her."
"You mean she's not a virgin!" Nabiki said. "Wait a
minute. I thought you said she's got the hots for Kuno.
What will her boyfriend think?"
"What boyfriend? It was a one night stand." Ranko
said.
"So how did you calm her down enough to get
fucked?" Nabiki asked.
"It's amazing what you can do with pressure points."
Ranko said with a grin. "Care for a demonstration?"
"I'll have to take a raincheck." Nabiki answered. "I
got to get back in my own bedroom before anyone notices."
"You're saying we got to keep it a secret?!?" Ranko
said with a hurt look on her face.
"It's not that I don't love you. It's just that I can't go
say 'Hi, Daddy. Ranko and I are in love. Hope you don't
mind that we're both girls.' The shock might kill him. Or
me."
"I see your point." Ranko said. "Okay, for now it's
our secret. But don't expect me to go to any great lengths
to keep it."
"Good enough for me." Nabiki said and gathered up
her clothes. She opened up the door to find herself face to
face with Kasumi.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said.
"Oh, hell." Nabiki said.
"Oh, shit." Ranko said.
"Nabiki, please tell me you haven't been doing what
I think you've been doing." Kasumi said, her eyes darting
back and forth between the two naked girls.
"Um...well..." For the first time in her life, Nabiki
couldn't think of what to say.
"I think Father will want to hear about this."
Kasumi said and started to head towards Soun's room.
"Wait! You can't!" Nabiki yelled.
"Why not?" Kasumi asked.
"Kasumi, you're one of only three people that I
truly respect. So don't make me do something I'll regret."
Nabiki said.
"Like what?" Kasumi asked.
"Like Mayaka." Nabiki answered.
Kasumi froze in her tracks. "You wouldn't."
"If you tell Daddy about my love life, then I'll tell
him about yours."
"Very well. I'll overlook this 'incident'." Kasumi
said with a defeated tone.
"And any others." Nabiki added.
"On one condition. How did you find out about me
and Mayaka?" Kasumi asked.
"You and she did a good job of keeping your
relationship a secret. But you were careless at her
graduation party."
"That was our last time together."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Nabiki said.
"It's not important." Kasumi said. "I suggest both
of you take baths before breakfast. Separately, if you don't
mind. Ranko, I'll speak with you later." Then she left to
take care of her chores.
"Nabiki?" Ranko asked. "Let me see if I got this
straight. Mayaka is..."
"Kasumi's girlfriend from high school." Nabiki
replied.
"Kasumi...and another woman? Now that's
something I wouldn't have expected."
"I was as surprised as you." Nabiki said. "But, like
I said, I respect her, so I didn't want to use that information
unless absolutely necessary."
"You said you only respect three people?"
"Until I met you it was two people." Nabiki said
with a grin.
"I'm flattered." Ranko said. "Who's the third
person?"
"N..." Nabiki stopped herself. Ranko wasn't
supposed to know about Nodoka. "Err...I mean Nabiki.
Me, that is."
"Ooh, self respect. I like that in my women."
Ranko said.
"I'm not your woman. If anything, you're mine."
Nabiki said coldly.
"It was just an expression."
"I know, I'm just teasing." Nabiki said, smiling.
"Well, I get the bathroom first. I'll call you when I'm done."
Ranko watched as Nabiki left. She then went to the
window to let in the morning air. Upon opening the
window she heard the sounds of a battle in the yard below.
"What the hell!" Ranko said as she saw what looked
like her father and brother beating the crap out of each
other.
Meanwhile, down in the yard, Ranma and Genma
were sparing as they do every morning. They leaped across
the pond at each other, throwing punches and kicks with
each pass.
"Didn't we so through this yesterday, old man."
Ranma said, landing on the far side of the pond.
"And we'll do it every day! I can't have you wasting
your time off of school, now can I?" Genma yelled, landing
on the side of the pond closest to the house.
"Child abuser!" Ranko yelled, planting a kick into
Genma's back and knocking him into the pond.
"Way to go, Sis!" Ranma yelled, hopping across the
pond and landing next to her.
"What the fuck was that all about?" Ranko asked.
"Just his idea of training." Ranma answered.
Panda then emerged from the pond. Enraged, he
lunged toward his children, grabbing them and tossing them
toward the water. Ranma landed with a splash. Ranko,
however, stopped in midair and stood floating a foot above
the surface of the water.
"Nya, Nya! Can't get me!" Ranko yelled.
[Don't get cocky!] Panda signed.
"If I land in the pond, I'll get real cocky!" Ranko
said with a grin.
"Mind giving me a hand?" Ranma-chan said and
grabbed Ranko's ankle.
"No!" Ranko yelled. The moment Ranma made
contact, she dropped like a rock into the pond.
"Sorry." Ranma said to a soaked Ranko-kun.
"It's okay. I just need to take a bath now." he said.
"Care to join me?"
"I can't take a bath with a girl!" Ranma yelled.
"Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm your sister."
Ranko said and looked down at his body. "Or brother, as
the case may be."
"Well, I still pass." Ranma said.
"Your loss." Ranko said and walked into the house.
After waking up, Akane left her room and found
Ranko standing outside the bathroom.
"Ranma?" Akane said.
"Nope." Ranko said. "Green eyes, remember?"
"Sorry, Ranko." Akane said. "I'm just not used to
seeing you as a guy."
"That's okay. Besides, Ranma wouldn't be a guy if
he was wet like I am." he replied.
"What happened, anyway?" Akane asked.
"Dad and Ranma were fighting and I sorta jumped
into the fray." Ranko replied.
Akane giggled. "Well, I've learned to let them go at
it and they'll finish eventually."
"Yeah. Well, now I'm stuck waiting for Nabiki to
get done with her bath."
"I thought she took a bath before she went to bed
last night." Akane said. "Why does she need one now?"
"Let's just say she had a busy night." Ranko said
while trying to keep a straight face.
"Huh?" Akane looked puzzled.
"Never mind." Ranko said. "How long does she
usually take?"
"She usually doesn't come out unless you make it
worth her while." Akane replied.
"You just lost me."
"I'll show you." Akane ran to her room and returned
with a wad of cash. "Watch." she said and slid a hundred
yen note under the door.
"You'll have to do better than that." Nabiki said
from the other side of the door.
Akane grumbled and slid a five hundred yen note
under the door. Five seconds later Nabiki appeared with a
towel wrapped around her body.
"All yours." she said and ran off to her room.
Ranko smiled, then saw Akane's irritated look.
"Relax." he said. "I'll buy you lunch later."
"It's a deal. Enjoy your bath." she said and headed
downstairs.
Ranko entered the changing room and stripped off
his T-shirt and boxers. He saw his reflection in the mirror
and flexed his muscles. "Yep, I'm a stud." he said, then
looked down at his crotch to see that he was getting
aroused. "As much fun as you were last night, now is not
the time."
In the bathroom, Ranko filled a bucket of warm
water and poured it over his head. He sighed as he felt the
change in her body. The sensations were quite pleasurable,
provided that she expected it instead of being surprised.
After lathering up and rinsing off, she lowered her body into
the furo. She leaned back and closed her eyes, letting the
hot water relax her muscles.
*Creak*
Ranko heard the bathroom door open and someone
enter.
"Change your mind?" she asked without opening
her eyes.
"About what?" Kasumi asked.
Ranko's eyes snapped open and she jerked her head
around to see Kasumi standing naked before her.
"Kasumi! What are you doing?!" Ranko yelled.
"Taking a bath." Kasumi stated simply.
"Err...you want I should leave?" Ranko asked.
"No. We need to talk and this way we can get some
privacy." Kasumi said as she washed up and rinsed off.
"Okay." Ranko said, moving over so Kasumi could
get in the furo. "This is about me and Nabiki, right?"
"No. This is about you and my family, but we can
start with Nabiki." Kasumi replied.
"You're going to chew me out now, aren't you?"
Ranko said with and ashamed look on her face.
"No. As Nabiki reminded me earlier, love between
two women, while not socially acceptable, is not something
you can prevent." Kasumi said. "You do love her, right?"
"With all my heart." Ranko answered with
determination.
"Can you keep this love a secret?" Kasumi asked.
"I've been through this with Nabiki." Ranko said. "I
don't like to hide my feelings if I don't have to."
"In this case you have to." Kasumi said. "My
father can tend to over react in regards to the welfare of his
daughters, and I think your father would be the same."
"So don't tell our Dad's, right?" Ranko asked.
"Right." Kasumi answered.
"But I can tell other people, right?" Ranko asked.
"Provided you can trust them." Kasumi answered.
Ranko gave a relieved sigh. "Good. I'd hate to have
to keep this a secret from Ranma."
"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you
about."
"You don't want to tell my own brother?!?" Ranko
was shocked.
"Actually, I was going to insist that you do tell him."
"Huh?"
"Ranma has had his curse for a while, but still has
trouble adjusting." Kasumi replied. "You seem
comfortable with your curse, so I'd like you to help him
deal with his. After all, you're the only one who really
understands what he's going through."
"Yeah, I can see how he might think of himself as less
than manly. I sure didn't feel very feminine after I fell in that
spring. But, being bisexual helped me adjust quickly."
"I'd rather you not suggest that Ranma sleep with
any men."
"Of course not." Ranko said. "I was having sex
with women before Jusenkyo, So turning into a guy is just
a new way of doing things. I just have to explain to Ranma
that he can love a woman just as well when he's female."
"Before you do that you should talk to Akane."
Kasumi said.
"Why?" Ranko asked.
"Well, she seems to think that Ranma is a pervert
because he can change gender." Kasumi replied. "I'd like
you to explain to her that the curse doesn't do that."
"Believe me, I know how some people can think
that. Especially with my behavior sometimes. But that has
nothing to do the curse so Akane won't have to worry."
"That's good." Kasumi said with a smile.
"Kasumi?"
"Yes, Ranko?"
"If it's not too personal, can you tell me who this
Mayaka person that Nabiki mentioned is?"
Kasumi lost her smile. "Yes, it is too personal.
Maybe someday, but not now."
"Sorry."
"That's okay." Kasumi said, her smile returning.
"Well, it's about time I started breakfast." she said.
Suddenly the water started churning and a whirlpool formed
in the center of the furo.
"Oh, no." Ranko said.
"Ranko, what's happening?" Kasumi asked with a
frightened tone.
"You don't wanna know." Ranko replied.
The whirlpool continued for a few moments, and then
the water started to glow as a young girl hopped out of the
vortex and floated above the tub.
"Hi, there!" Skuld yelled.
"Damn it, Skuld!" Ranko yelled. "You sure have a
shitty sense of timing!"
"Hmm." Skuld turned around to see Kasumi doing
her best impersonation of a deer frozen in headlights. "Did I
interrupt an intimate moment? Geez, you don't waste time,
do you? It's only been a day."
"No, you didn't interrupt anything. But having
someone just appear out of your bath can be pretty
unnerving." Ranko said. "Now would you please stop
floating there and give her time to recover."
"Friend of yours?" Kasumi asked, having regained
her senses somewhat."
"Yep. Kasumi Tendo, meet the goddess Skuld."
"Pleased to meet you." Skuld said, having finally set
her feet on the floor by the furo."
"Likewise." Kasumi replied. "Oh! I've got to start
breakfast. Will you be joining us, Skuld?"
"Can I?" Skuld asked.
"Of course." Kasumi replied as she got out of the
furo and wrapped a towel around her body. "Ranko, it's
best that you finish your bath soon."
"You got it." Ranko said and grabbed a towel.
After Kasumi left Skuld turned to Ranko. "You
sure you weren't doing anything before I got here?"
"Just having a peaceful conversation." Ranko said
and then whispered in her ear. "To be honest, I'm more
interested in her sister."
"What is it with you and girls?"
"Relax, kid. It's just one of those things."
"Don't call me a kid! We're the same age, you
know."
"Physically, maybe. But when it comes to
immaturity, you've got me outclassed."
"And don't you forget it." Skuld replied, and then
realized what she just said. "Hey, wait a min..."
"C'mon. I'll show you my room." Ranko said and
went to open the bathroom door.
"Sweeto!" Happosai yelled as he leaped forward and
glomped onto Ranko's breasts, pulling her towel off in the
process.
"Aaaahhh! A virus!" Skuld screamed.
"ooohh...yeah..." Ranko moaned as Happosai
continued to fondle her.
"Ranko! Don't move!" Skuld yelled and pulled
Mjonor, her trusty mallet, off her back.
"huh?...no...don't..." Ranko said weakly.
*Bash*
Skuld slammed her hammer into Happosai's skull,
knocking him to the ground.
"Hey! I was enjoying that!" Ranko yelled.
"Hmm?" Skuld said as she examined the heap at
Ranko's feet. "I thought they were supposed to disappear
when I hit them."
Suddenly Happosai's eyes snapped open. "Pretty
lady!" he yelled and glomped onto Skuld.
"Aaaah! Help!" Skuld screamed.
"Hey, buddy! You mind finishing with me first!"
Ranko yelled and tried to peel the old man off the goddess.
"Ranma, my boy! Glad to see you're finally come to
appreciate the finer things in life!" Happosai yelled and leaped
toward Ranko, colliding with Ranma-chan's fist.
"Leave my sister alone, freak!" Ranma yelled.
"Honestly. A girl can't get a cheap thrill around this
place." Ranko sounded annoyed as she covered herself with
her towel.
"I got him!" Skuld yelled.
*Bash* *Bash* *Bash*
"Skuld." Ranko said.
*Bash* *Bash* *Bash*
"Skuld!" Ranko yelled.
*Bash* *Bash* *Bash*
"SKULD!!!" Ranko screamed.
"What!" Skuld yelled.
"I think you got him."
"But...he's supposed to disappear."
"Get it through your thick skull that he's not a virus.
He's a human!" Ranko looked down at the broken and
bloody mass. "Or at least, he used to be."
"Don't worry, it takes more than that to kill him."
Ranma said. "Believe me, I've tried."
"Ranko?" Skuld asked. "Why are their two of you?"
"There aren't." Ranko said. "This is Ranma."
"But, Ranma's your brother." Skuld said.
"He is." Ranko replied. "Apparently gender bending
runs in the family."
[Does not!] Panda signed as he, Soun, Akane, and
Nabiki appeared in the hall.
"What's all the noise?" Soun asked.
"Apparently, Happosai attacked Ranko and her friend
beat him to a pulp." Ranma answered.
[Really?] Panda signed.
Soun grabbed Skuld's hand and shook it heartily.
"Thank you, young lady. You are a godsend."
"No, I'm a goddess." Skuld said.
"You're a what?" Akane asked.
"Let me guess. You're one of Urd's sisters, right?"
Nabiki asked.
"Unfortunately." Skuld replied.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nabiki asked.
"Never mind her." Ranko said. "She and Urd don't
exactly get along."
"Only because she's arrogant and selfish and violent
and pushy and impulsive and..."
"Hey!" Ranko yelled. "That's my mentor you're
talking about!"
"Well, it's true." Skuld said.
"So their really is an Urd?" Akane asked.
"Of course." Ranko answered. "Only a complete
psycho would make up a story like that."
"Yeah." Skuld said. "Ranko's only partially
psychotic."
"Hey!" Ranko yelled.
"That's what you get for calling me thick skulled."
Skuld said with a grin.
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Happosai asked
from the floor.
"Aaaahhh!" Skuld screamed. "It's alive!" She
swung her hammer down at him.
"Sorry, cutie. I don't fall for the same trick twice."
Happosai said as he stopped Mjonor with one finger.
"Now, Soun, Genma. You have some explaining to do."
[Her fault.] Panda signed and pointed at Skuld.
"Yes. She did it." Soun said. "We would never
dream of beating the crap out of you, Master."
"Not that, stupid!" Happosai said and smacked
them both in the head. "I mean them." He pointed at Ranma
and Ranko.
[That's my daughter.] Panda signed.
"You don't have a daughter." Happosai said.
"He does now." Ranko said. "Ranko Saotome, at
your service."
"That's the right idea." Happosai said and leaped
toward her.
"Oh no you don't." she said and raised her hand,
summoning an invisible wall and stopping Happy in mid
glomp. "Sorry, the mood's been ruined."
"Breakfast!" Kasumi called from downstairs.
"Oh, crap!" Ranma said as she and Panda forced
their way into the bathroom to change to their uncursed
forms.
"Oh, I've got to get dressed." Ranko said and ran to
her room.
"Um...which way to the dining room?" Skuld asked.
A little while later at the dining room table, everyone
gazed in wonder at the feast that Kasumi had prepared.
"Wow!" Skuld said.
"What a spread!" Ranma exclaimed.
"Are all your breakfast's this big, Kasumi?" Ranko
asked.
"No. I just felt guilty because this is the only meal
I'm cooking today." she answered.
"No lunch or dinner?" Ranma asked.
"Oh, did I forget to tell you? Cologne called and
said she wanted you and Ranko to stop by her restaurant
later today. I figured that you could take Nabiki and Akane
with you and have lunch while you're there." Kasumi
replied.
"But, what about dinner?" Ranma asked.
"I've got dinner covered." Akane said.
"Too bad I've got concert tickets with my friends
tonight." Nabiki said with a grin.
"You knew about this, and you didn't warn me!"
Ranma yelled.
"I would have if I thought I'd get anything out of it."
Nabiki replied. "Now, if you want at least one good meal
today, you'd better dig in."
Ranma turned to see Soun, Genma, Skuld, and
Ranko devouring the food. Happosai disappeared at the
first mention of Akane's cooking.
"Amazing." Skuld said. "This is almost as good as
Belldandy's cooking."
"Who?" Akane asked.
"My big sister." Skuld answered.
"Does she think she's a goddess, too?" Akane
asked.
"What do you mean 'think'!" Skuld yelled and
reached for one of her grenades.
"Relax, Skuld." Ranko said. "She's just a little
skeptical."
"Humans can be such a pain sometimes." Skuld
said, sounding annoyed.
"Hey! I'm human!" Ranko yelled.
"Only until you get your qualification." Skuld
replied.
"Do I even want to know?" Akane asked.
"Probably not." Ranko replied. She turned around
to see Genma stealing food from her plate. "Hey! Don't
make me freeze you again."
"Ranko!" Skuld yelled. "You know what happens
when you use too much magic"
"What happens?" Nabiki asked.
"Er...let's just say that my batteries run down, and
the rest ain't pretty."
"I shouldn't have asked, should I?" Nabiki asked.
"Nope." Ranko replied.
"You wouldn't have this problem if you had
something simple for a power source, Ranko." Skuld said.
"Not all of us can stop by Haagen Dazs to get a
recharge." she replied.
"Would you two stop it." Akane said. "You're
giving me a headache."
"Okay, back to normal conversation." Ranko said.
" So, you really think Kasumi's cooking is as good as
Belldandy's"
"You bet." Skuld said.
"I'm flattered." Kasumi said.
"I have to invite you over to our house so you and
she can trade recipes." Skuld said.
"Okay." Kasumi replied.
The rest of breakfast went by without incident.
After the meal, Nabiki and Skuld went with Ranko up to her
room.
"Hey, Skuld." Ranko said. "I thought you were
gonna bring my stuff with you."
"I did." Skuld said and pulled out a metal ball with
loops of cable sticking out of it.
"Nabiki! Get down!" Ranko yelled and they both
jumped behind the bed.
"Ranko. You can come out now." Skuld said.
"This isn't a bomb."
"Then what is it?" Ranko asked as she peeked out
from behind the bed.
"It's my latest invention, Mister Matter
Compressor."
"Huh?" Nabiki said.
"Watch." Skuld said and tossed the ball on the bed.
There was a flash of light and suddenly they found
themselves surrounded by boxes.
"Impressive." Nabiki said.
"You know, Skuld. You could have made more
than one trip." Ranko said.
"And let my talents go to waste?" she replied with a
grin.
"What's in all these boxes, anyway? Nabiki asked.
"What's written on them?" Ranko asked.
"Well, these two say 'His' and 'Hers'." Nabiki said,
pointing to two small boxes.
"Let's see." Ranko said and opened the boxes.
"That's my male and female wardrobe."
"Here, let me help." Nabiki said and they took the
clothes and hung them in the closet. "You know, for a
teenage girl, you don't have much in the way of clothes."
Ranko looked in the closet and saw that it was half
empty. "Maybe you're right. You'll have to take me
shopping sometime."
"And where will you get the money for all the things
you'll need?" Nabiki asked.
"I'm not a freeloading house guest. Here." Ranko
said and pulled a savings account passbook out of a box and
handed it to Nabiki.
Nabiki's eyes grew wide as she looked at the
amount in the passbook. "My god. There's over twenty
million yen in here. Did I mention how much I love you?"
"You mean she's the one you're interested in?" Skuld
asked Ranko.
"Yep." Ranko answered, and then remembered
what Kasumi told her. "Don't tell our dads, okay?"
"Okay." Skuld replied.
"What's in this box? Nabiki said, pointing to a box
marked 'Potions'.
"Those, my love, are the weapons of choice for a
love goddess like me." Ranko said and opened up the box.
She removed a box marked 'Lemon Tea' and
absentmindedly set it on top of the box marked 'Kitchen'.
Then she removed a few more boxes and bottles until she
found what she was looking for. "Ah! There they are."
"There what are?" Nabiki asked.
"Here. Suck on this, but don't swallow." Ranko
said and handed her what looked like a jawbreaker.
"That's not what you said last night." Nabiki said
with a grin and popped the candy in her mouth. "Okay,
now what?" she asked.
"Now this." Ranko said and poked Nabiki in the
nose with her index finger.
"Aaahh!" Nabiki yelled as her body shook with a
powerful orgasm.
"I was good, wasn't I?" Ranko said with a grin.
"Wow." Nabiki said and spit out the candy. "What
is that stuff?"
"Just a little something I designed." Ranko said with
pride. "Any human contact will cause similar results. Of
course, if you swallow the jawbreaker the effects will last
untill it's digested."
"Thanks for the warning." Nabiki said.
"Are you two through having fun yet?" Skuld asked
with an irritated tone.
"That reminds me." Ranko said. "Is my toy chest
around here somewhere?"
"Yeah, over there." Skuld said and pointed to the
box marked 'Toys'.
"Aren't you a little old for toys?" Nabiki asked and
opened the box. Inside were assorted vibrators and strap
ons and other sex toys. "Oh. Never mind."
"Speaking of toys, there's your computer." Skuld
said and pointed to the box marked 'Computer'.
"I thought I broke it." Ranko said.
"Only because you erased half the files so you could
play Might and Magic." Skuld said. "I upgraded it so now
you have five million gigabytes of memory. Use that up and
you're on your own."
"What's in this?" Nabiki said and pointed to a box
with a label in a language she couldn't read.
"It says 'Equipment'." Ranko said.
"What language is that?" Nabiki asked as she stared
at the writing. It looks like some kind of futuristic
hieroglyphs."
"It is the divine language." Skuld said.
"Which means you added this to my stuff." Ranko
said. "Okay, fess up. What's in the box?"
"Glad you asked, James." Skuld said with a smile.
"James?" Nabiki asked.
"Bond." Ranko replied.
"Huh? Oh, I get it." Nabiki said.
"Ahem." Skuld broke in. "If I may."
"Okay." Ranko said. "What do you got?"
"The first item I have for you is this." Skuld said
and held up a small black cylinder with a red button on one
end.
"What does it do?" Ranko asked.
"This." Skuld said. She grabbed Ranko's right hand
and pressed one end of the cylinder against her palm. Than
she pushed the red button on the other end.
"Yeow!" Ranko yelled as a sharp pain shot through
her hand. "What was that for!"
"You now have a hammerspace manipulator
implant." Skuld stated.
"A hammer what?" Nabiki asked.
"Hammerspace manipulator." Skuld said. "It allows
her to send and retrieve objects from a pocket dimension I
discovered."
"Why 'hammerspace'?" Nabiki asked.
"When I was little I wondered why some people
could pull mallets from thin air." Skuld explained. "I
eventually stumbled onto a small dimension with all these
hammers floating around. It's where I found Mjonor."
"Enough with the history!" Ranko yelled. "That
doesn't explain why I'm in pain here!"
"Does it still hurt?" Skuld asked.
"Ye...no. The pain's gone." Ranko examined her
hand. "Cool. No scars. So, what did you say this thing
does?"
Skuld sighed. "Weren't you paying attention.
Here." She grabbed a bottle off the bed and handed it to
Ranko.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Ranko
asked.
"Concentrate on the bottle. Imagine that it isn't in
your hand." Skuld said.
"Okay." Ranko looked in her hand and the bottle
wasn't there. "Where did it go?"
"I told you, it's in hammerspace." Skuld said "Try it
again."
"Okay." Ranko grabbed a vibrator out of the box of
sex toys and made it disappear.
"Now concentrate on the bottle. Imagine that it is in
your hand." Skuld said.
"Okay." Ranko said and looked down to see the
bottle in her hand. Cool! Nabiki, gimme something else."
Nabiki handed her the savings passbook which she
made disappear. Then she made the vibration appear.
"Don't get carried away." Skuld warned. "The
implant runs off the same energy that you use for magic."
"So I can't use it too often?" Ranko asked.
"Correct." Skuld replied. "Also, the amount of
objects you can store isn't unlimited. You can only keep
about a dozen small objects at one time.
"In other words, don't use the implant for extra
closet space?" Nabiki asked.
"Correct." Skuld said.
"I got to admit, this is one of your better ideas."
Ranko said.
"Thanks." Skuld said. "The next item isn't really
mine." She handed Ranko a pen with a jewel attached to
one end.
"Hey! Isn't this the transformation pen Luna gave
me?" Ranko asked. "She said I could keep it as a souvenir
because it was damaged."
"Well, it's not damaged anymore." Skuld said with a
grin.
"You fixed it? Awesome!" Ranko said and held the
pen up in the air.
"Stop!" Skuld yelled. "I made some modifications."
"Like what?" Ranko asked.
"Well, the AI chip was damaged beyond repair."
Skuld said. "The best I could do was replace it with a
memory chip."
"Which means?" Ranko asked.
"It won't change you into anything you want. You
have to enter the outfit into the memory first."
"I can deal with that." Ranko said. "Anything
else?"
"Um...yeah." Skuld said. "The power cell was
damaged too. The pen will put a constant drain on your
body's energy while it's in use."
"How much of a drain? Ranko asked.
"It depends on how complex the program is." Skuld
replied. "For example, I programmed it with a modified hard
suit, and that will wear you down after a couple of hours."
"Great." Ranko said. "Any good news?"
"Yes. The hard suit isn't the only thing I
programmed." Skuld answered with a grin. "And considering
the pen's origin, I felt that it was necessary that I program it to
use minimal energy, so you can use it for a whole day
without needing a recharge."
"So, what is it?" Ranko asked.
"Your Sailor Earth costume, of course." Skuld
replied.
"Sailor Earth?" Nabiki asked. "This I've got to
see."
"You got it." Ranko said and held the pen over her
head. "Disguise Power! Change me into Sailor Earth!"
She yelled and was surrounded by a bright white light.
Nabiki thought she could see Ranko standing naked through
the brightness. When the light faded, Ranko was dressed in
a modified sailor fuku with a bright blue skirt and a bright
red bow on her chest. On her hands were white gloves that
went to her elbows, and on her legs were red boots that
went to her knees. Finally, on her head was a gold tiara.
"How do I look?" She asked and struck a superhero pose.
"I take back what I said about you and Ranma
having the same taste in clothing." Nabiki said while
giggling.
"Hey! This happens to be the official uniform of the
Sailor Scouts." Ranko said.
"You mean they're real?" Nabiki asked. "I thought
they were just rumor."
"Nope, they're real." Ranko answered and then
grinned. "You could say that I got to know a couple of
them very well."
"That explains why they let you become one of
them." Nabiki said.
"Don't let her fool you." Skuld said. "She's not a
real Sailor Scout."
"Am too!" Ranko yelled.
"Then how come you don't have any energy based
powers like the other Scouts?" Skuld asked.
"Nobody's perfect." Ranko answered glumly.
"Cheer up. I'm sure that with the magic you've
learned, you can improvise." Skuld said.
"Thanks, Skuld." Ranko replied "I take back half
the bad things I've ever said about you."
"Only half?" Skuld asked.
"I'm saving the other half for a rainy day." Ranko
replied with a mischievous look.
"Well, maybe this will change your mind." Skuld
said. She reached into the equipment box and pulled out a
small metal disk. "Sleipnir, converge on present
coordinates." she said.
"It can't be." Ranko said.
"What?" Nabiki asked, "What is Sleipnir?"
Ranko was about to answer when screaming started
coming from outside. The three girls ran down stairs to see
Akane screaming and pointing up. Ranma just looked up in
shock.
"We're being invaded!" Akane yelled. And sure
enough, a spaceship floated above the dojo. (Same design
as Adam Warren's version of the Lovely Angel.)
"Akane, calm down." Ranko said. "It's just my
ship, Sleipnir Mark Two."
"You mean that's yours?" Akane asked.
"Yep." Ranko replied. "Skuld, we can't land it here.
Send it back."
"Okay." Skuld said. "Sleipnir, assume lunar orbit."
With that, the ship flew off into the sky.
"Uh...Ranko?" Ranma asked. "Did you just say that
that was your spaceship?"
"Yes." Ranko replied. "And Skuld was just about
to explain why she decided to scare the shit out of half of
Nerima."
"Sorry." Skuld said. "I just wanted to show you
that I fixed the six foot hole you put in the hull."
"Apology accepted." Ranko said. "So, anything
new on the ship that I should know about.."
"Well, apart from the remote unit I used to call it
here I added an orbital laser strike unit with target
recognition circuits." Skuld said.
"Huh?" Ranko asked.
"You can ask it to blow up stuff from orbit." Skuld
replied.
"Cool" Ranko said and reached for the remote.
Skuld pulled it out of her reach.
"Before I give this to you, you have to promise only
to use in emergencies." Skuld said. "You almost got
arrested by the Galaxy Police last time."
"Okay, I promise." Ranko said.
"On your honor as a goddess."
"All right, already. I promise on my honor as a
goddess that I won't use your spaceship unless it's an
emergency." Ranko said.
"Okay." Skuld said and handed her the remote.
"Just pin it on your shirt when you use it. The instructions
are in with your stuff."
"Ranko, what are you wearing?" Akane asked.
Ranko looked down to see that she was still in her
Sailor Earth outfit. "Oops!" she said and concentrated on
making her old clothes reappear.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Skuld looked at her watch. "Oh, good. It's done."
she said.
"What's done?" Ranko asked.
"I set up a temporal vortex before I came here, and
it should have finished forming by now." Skuld replied.
"Temporal vortex?" Ranko asked, and then smiled.
"I get it. You've got a date with Mackie, right?"
"Jealous?" Skuld asked.
"Depends." Ranko answered. "Are you letting any
of the other Knight Sabers in on the action?"
"What is it with you and girls?" Skuld said.
"Besides, I love Mackie for his mind."
"I don't know." Ranko said. "Sylia is pretty smart."
"But, she's his sister." Skuld said. "He'd never go
for it."
"Hey, incest can be fun, if you do it right." Ranko
said.
"WHAT!" Akane yelled and glared at Ranma.
"Now there's an idea." Nabiki said.
"I didn't do anything! I swear!" Ranma yelled.
"Relax, Akane. It was just a thought." Ranko said.
"Well, keep your perverted thoughts to yourself."
Akane said.
"As much fun as it is, watching you fight like this, I
don't want to keep my boyfriend waiting." Skuld said and
headed to the bathroom. "Bye."
"Ranma!" Kasumi called from the house. "Don't
forget that you have to take your sister to the Cat Cafe for
lunch."
"Okay, Kasumi!" he replied.
"Oh! Could you stop by the market and get me
some oregano and basil? We ran out." Kasumi asked.
"I've got some of that." Ranko said. "Just grab to
box in my room marked 'Kitchen'. "It's got spices and
herbal tea and stuff like that."
"Thank you, Ranko." Kasumi said and went to get
the box.
"That reminds me." Ranko said. "I have this
hammerspace implant, might as well use it."
In the hall she passed Kasumi carrying the box for
the kitchen. What she didn't notice was the lemon tea box
on top of it.
"Let me see. What items do I want on call in case of
an emergency." Ranko asked herself.
"Couldn't wait to play with your new toys, could
you?" Nabiki asked from the doorway.
"Nope." Ranko said. She put her transformation
pen and Sliepnir remote in hammerspace. Then she grabbed
a twelve inch silver dagger.
"Woah!" Nabiki said. "Are you planning on using
that on someone?"
"I am a monster hunter, remember?" Ranko replied.
"The job requires me to be lethal at times. Besides, you
never know when I might run into Mom."
"Let's hope that never happens." Nabiki said. "I'd
hate to lose my sweet and innocent Ranko."
"You really think I'm sweet and innocent?" Ranko
asked.
"No, but I can pretend, can't I?" Nabiki said with a
grin. "Now can we go?"
"Just one more thing." Ranko said and grabbed a
scroll and made it disappear.
"What's the scroll for?" Nabiki asked.
"It's complicated." Ranko answered. "Let's just say
that I told someone that I'd carry it with me at all times."
"Okay." Nabiki said, deciding not to ask. "Let's go.
After all, I wouldn't want to miss my free lunch."
"Free?" Ranko asked.
"Yeah. You're paying." Nabiki said.
"I had to ask." Ranko said as they left with Ranma
and Akane to the Cat Cafe.
"Son-In-Law!" Cologne called from the kitchen as
they entered the restaurant. "You and your sister have a
seat. I'll be with you in a moment."
"What about us?" Akane asked.
"Oh. Akane." Cologne said with a no small amount
of animosity. "You and your sister may join us, if you
wish."
"Thanks, we will." Nabiki said and took a seat.
"Mousse, can we get some menus?"
Mousse handed them four menus and then looked at
Ranko and Ranma. "So, the old woman was right. There
are two of you."
"No. There's one of me and one of him." Ranko
replied.
"You know what I mean." Mousse said."
"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday."
Ranko said. "I didn't know that me and Ranma looked alike
in our female forms."
"I am prepared to forgive you on one condition."
Mousse said. "The old woman told me that you are cursed
to change into a man that resembles Ranma, right?"
"Yes." Ranko replied.
"Then promise me that you won't try to take my
Shampoo from me." Mousse said.
"It was explained to me that Shampoo plans to
marry Ranma. I assume that the kiss she gave me was
intended for him." Ranko said. "I can't guarantee that I won't
respond to any advances she makes, but I will promise that
she knows it's me and not Ranma."
"That will do." Mousse said. "Is anyone ready with
their orders?"
"I am." Nabiki said. "I'll have this and this. Oh, and
this too." She pointed to three of the most expensive items
on the menu.
"You do realize that this isn't a free meal?" Mousse
asked.
"Yes it is." Nabiki replied. "Ranko's paying."
"Nabiki!" Akane yelled. "How dare you try to
extort a free meal off of Ranma's sister."
"It's okay, Akane." Ranko said. "I did promise to
buy you lunch, and I'm sure Nabiki can make it up to me."
"Just as long as someone pays." Mousse said and
went toward the kitchen.
"Mousse." Ranko said.
"Yes." Mousse replied.
"I want you to know that I enjoyed kissing
Shampoo." she said. "But I also enjoyed kissing you."
Mousse blushed and went into the kitchen.
"Ranko, were you just flirting with Mousse?"
Akane asked.
"Flirting is such a strong word." Ranko replied.
"You know, Sis." Ranma said. "If you're looking
for a boyfriend, I think you could do better than Mousse."
"Don't worry, Bro." Ranko said. "I'm not in the
market for a boyfriend at the moment. She winked at
Nabiki, who winked back in return.
After a few minutes, Cologne appeared with their
order. She distributed the food and took a seat across from
Ranko.
"You wanted to see us?" Ranko asked.
"Yes." Cologne said. "I wanted to discuss
Shampoo."
"I've already been through this with Mousse."
Ranko said. "I'll leave her alone if she leaves me alone."
"She won't leave you alone." Cologne said. "She
plans on killing you."
"What!" Ranko yelled. "Over one kiss?"
"She has not always been on the best of terms with
Ranma's female side." Cologne explained. "When Ukyo
and I explained that it was not her betrothed that she kissed,
she assumed that it was Ranma's girl half separate from her
boy half."
"So what you're saying is she's back to wanting to
marry me as a guy and kill me as a girl." Ranma said.
"No, but since she has no emotional attachments to
Ranko, she feels that by killing her she could kill girl-type
Ranma without loosing boy-type Ranma." Cologne replied.
"The only reason she wasn't attacking your sister last night is
because I used an ancient Chinese technique on her."
"What technique?" Ranma asked.
It involves stamina, endurance, and alcohol."
Cologne said.
"In other words, you drank her under the table."
Nabiki said.
"Correct." Cologne replied.
"Um...she's not here, is she?" Ranko asked with a
nervous tone. Having someone out to kill her was making
her a bit uneasy.
"No." Cologne replied. "I gave her a remedy for
her hangover and then sent her on some errands. She won't
be back for at least another hour."
"Girl-type Ranma! You I kill!"
"Or maybe not." Cologne said.
"Shampoo! Wait!" Ranko yelled and ducked as a
bonbori was swung at her head."
"Shampoo give you Kiss of Death! Now you die!"
Shampoo yelled and executed a round house kick, which
connected and knocked Ranko to the floor.
"Kiss of Death?" Ranko said. "You're from Nyu-
che-zu!"
"Yes! And now Shampoo regain honor with
Amazon tribe." Shampoo yelled and pulled her fist back to
deliver a blow that would crush Ranko's skull.
<Stop!> Ranko yelled, switching to Chinese. <I
have a message from the elders of your tribe.> She pulled
out the scroll she earlier placed in hammerspace.
<I'll take that.> Cologne said and grabbed the
scroll.
<This better be good.> Shampoo said.
Cologne read the scroll out loud. <It reads: In
return for her heroic deeds, the one known as Ranko
Saotome is pardoned of any crimes, real or imagined,
against the Amazon tribe of Nyu-che-zu. In addition, she
and the one known as Yoiko Hibiki are given the status of
ally to the tribe and will be treated as such. The Council of
Elders.>
Shampoo reached down and pulled Ranko to her
feet. <I'm sorry.>
<Apology accepted.> Ranko replied.
"What just happened?" Ranma asked.
"Sorry, I forgot you don't speak Chinese." Ranko
said. "Well, to make a long story short, Shampoo's tribe
was the one that hired me to hunt that monster in China.
When I killed it, they gave me a pardon."
"Uh, huh. Ranko is Shampoo's friend now."
Shampoo said.
"Um...where's your bathroom?" Ranko asked.
"Over there." Cologne pointed to the restroom.
"Nabiki, you have to go, too." Ranko said.
"No, I don't." Nabiki said. "Ouch!" she yelled as
Ranko grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the ladies room.
Ranko pulled Nabiki through the door and locked it
behind them.
"What was that about!" Nabiki yelled. "You
practically pulled my arm out of the soc...mphf." She was
silenced by a passionate kiss from Ranko.
"Nabiki, I need you. Now." Ranko said, her voice
filled with lust.
"Now?" Nabiki asked. She knew her lover was a
little sex-crazy, but this was ridiculous.
"Yes." Ranko cooed and put her hand in Nabiki's
panties.
"Ohhh." Nabiki moaned as Ranko massaged her
pussy. But one look into those green eyes told her
something was wrong. "This isn't about sex, is it?"
"No." Ranko answered while kissing the nape of
Nabiki's neck. "Energy."
"Energy?" Nabiki asked as she slid her hand down
Ranko's pants, feeling the wetness flowing freely between
her legs.
"Skuld. Implant. Too much magic." Ranko
answered and thrust two fingers deep into Nabiki.
"Aaah!" Nabiki yelped. "You mean this is how you
recharge!"
"Yes." Ranko said, then whimpered as Nabiki
removed her hand from her slit.
"We haven't got time for both of us to get off, so I'll
have to work on you." Nabiki said and pushed the girl to
the floor. She pulled down Ranko's pants and boxers,
exposing her mound to the open air.
"Yes. Please. Fuck me." Ranko moaned.
Nabiki was almost amused at how helpless Ranko
seemed in this state. She decided to go for broke and thrust
her tongue deep into Ranko's sex. This was different from
the fingering she did the night before, but Nabiki quickly
learned which spots to lick by reading Ranko's reactions.
Ranko came quickly, and sat up after a minute of recovery.
"Nabiki, I'm sorry." Ranko said.
"Don't be. Actually, that was kind of fun." Nabiki
said as she went to the sink to wash her hands and face.
"But I would like to know why you didn't tell me about this
little problem of yours."
"I didn't want you to think I was just using you as a
battery charger." Ranko said as she stood up and pulled up
her pants
*Knock, Knock*
"You two okay in there?" Ranma called from
beyond the door.
"Ranma!" Nabiki said as she opened the door.
"Hanging around the women's restroom. What will people
think?"
"Hey! It's not like that!" Ranma yelled. "I just
wanted to see what was taking you so long."
"Girl stuff." Ranko replied. "You wouldn't
understand."
"Okay." Ranma said, deciding that he didn't want to
know. "We were going to see Ucchan and give her some of
the old lady's hangover remedy."
"Ukyo too?" Nabiki said. "They must have had
some party here last night."
"As they were leaving the restaurant, Shampoo
grabbed Ranko's shoulder. "Shampoo want to talk to
Ranko."
"You guys go on ahead. I'll be over in a few
minutes." Ranko said. Akane and Ranma left, but Nabiki
stayed behind.
"Shampoo talk to Ranko in private." Shampoo said
to Nabiki.
"You were just trying to kill Ranko, so I don't think
it's a good idea to leave you two alone." Nabiki replied.
"Okay, you stay." Shampoo said and turned to
Ranko. <I don't want her to hear what we're saying, so
speak in Chinese.>
<Okay.> Ranko complied. <What do you want to
talk about?>
<You're gay, right?> Shampoo asked.
<Bisexual, but if I ever had to choose one over the
other, I'd probably stick with girls.> Ranko replied.
<Why?>
<Well, I'm going to marry your brother, but Akane
keeps getting in the way.> Shampoo said. <I think she
likes his girl side better, so I would like you to keep her
away from him.>
<Let me get this straight. You want me to seduce
Akane so you can have Ranma all to yourself?>
<To be blunt, yes.> Shampoo replied.
<I can't do that.> Ranko said.
<Why not?> Shampoo said. <I bet she'd be great in
bed.>
<Because I got there first.> Nabiki said in Chinese.
"Huh?" Shampoo said. "Greedy girl no know how
to talk Chinese."
"Maybe not when you first came to Japan." Nabiki
answered. "But when it became clear that you were here to
stay, I learned."
"She's right, too." Ranko said. "I can't be with
Akane because I love Nabiki."
"Ranko is Shampoo's friend, so no want to tell you
this. Nabiki is...what word?" Shampoo thought for the
proper translation. "Ah! Cold sushi."
"Did she just call me a cold fish?" Nabiki sounded
offended.
"That it." Shampoo said with a grin. "You cold
fish."
"Shampoo, you do realize that we were having sex
in your restroom less than fifteen minutes ago." Ranko said.
"..." Shampoo didn't know what to say.
"Here. This should cover lunch." Ranko placed
some money in Shampoo's hand. On her way out the door
she turned and said. "By the way, If you want more proof
that Nabiki isn't frigid, you're more than welcome to join us
sometime."
"Shampoo is no pervert girl like Akane!" Shampoo
yelled as Ranko and Nabiki crossed the street to meet
Ranma and Akane outside Ucchan's
"What was that all about?" Akane asked.
"Apparently Shampoo's got it in her head to make
you and Ranko a couple." Nabiki replied.
"She knows Ranko's really a girl, doesn't she?"
Akane asked.
"Yeah, but she's convinced that you're a lesbian."
Ranko replied."
"I'm a what!?!"
"Well, you do hate boys." Ranma said.
*Bash*
"Ow."
"Don't worry, Akane. I told her I could never steal
my brother's girlfriend." Ranko said.
"I'm not his girlfriend!" Akane yelled.
"Yeah! I'd never go out with an uncute tomboy like
her." Ranma said.
*Bash*
"Ow."
"Are they always like this?" Ranko asked.
"Pretty much." Nabiki replied.
Ranma turned to enter Ucchan's when he found the
closed sign in the window. "Closed?"
"Of course it's closed." Ranko said. "Ukyo's got a
hangover, right?"
"Oh, yeah." Ranma said.
"Well, you're her friend right? So she'll let us in."
Ranko went to knock on the door when she found it
unlocked.
"Hey, Red!"
Ranko looked up to find Ukyo and Ryoga at the
counter and Yoiko behind the grill.
"Yoiko?" Ranko said. I found you in less than a
day. This must be a new record."
"Ohh...my head." Ukyo groaned.
"Here, swallow these." Ranma said and handed her
a couple of tablets from the packet Cologne gave him.
Ukyo swallowed the tablets and her eyes snapped
open. "Hey, my headache's gone. What was that?"
"Herbal hangover remedy I got over at Shampoo's"
Ranma replied.
"That bimbo!" Ukyo yelled. "After all the times we
were doing shots at her place, she never mentioned this
once."
"All the times?" Akane asked.
"Yeah, Shampoo and me want to stay on good
terms. So when get into arguments we have a drinking
contest instead of fighting." Ukyo replied. "It keeps us
from killing each other."
"Well, that must have been some bender you were
on last night." Ranma said. "Usually you won't let anyone
near your grill."
"She's not just anyone, she's my new employee."
Ukyo said.
"Employee?" Ranko asked.
"Yep." Yoiko said. "Miss Konaji gave me a job as
cook and waitress."
"Really? How much does it pay?" Nabiki asked,
never one to pass up a chance to see how much money
someone has.
"Who are you?" Yoiko asked.
"Oh, that's right. You left before she got home."
Ranko said. "This is Akane's sister, Nabiki."
"Pleased to meet you." Yoiko said. "And to answer
you're question, the job pays 15000 yen a week plus room
and board."
"Room and board?" Ranko asked. "Aren't you going
to live with me?"
"Well, actually, Ryoga doesn't think I should live at
the Tendo's" Yoiko replied.
"Why not?" Ranko asked Ryoga.
"I hate to tell you this, but your brother can't be
trusted around women." Ryoga replied.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma asked.
"It's bad enough you have to live under the same
roof as Akane, but I'm not letting you get your hands on my
sister too!" Ryoga yelled.
"Yeah, right!" Ranma yelled. "If she's anything like
you she'd get lost before she'd get to my bedroom!"
"That's right, Yoiko." Akane said. "How are you
going to wait tables without getting lost?"
"Oh, Red can help with that." Yoiko replied. "She's
got a map spell that can help me find my way around
buildings and stuff like that."
"I hope you don't want me to do it now." Ranko
said. "I'm kind of drained and that spell takes a lot of
energy."
"That's okay. Just don't come to me for a recharge."
Yoiko said. "I'm not into that."
"Do I want to know?" Akane asked.
"Nope." Ranko said.
"Hey, Miss Tendo. Did you know that Ryoga turns
into a pig when he..." Ryoga put his hand over Yoiko's
mouth.
"Er...She means I turn into a pig when I eat good
cooking. And since she's such a good cook, I can't help
myself."
Ranko leaned over to Ranma. "What was that all
about?" she asked.
"I'll explain later." Ranma said.
"Well, now that I'm feeling better, I guess we better
open up." Ukyo said. "Right, Yoiko?"
"Right, Boss." Yoiko replied.
"You guys want something to eat." Ukyo asked.
"No. We just had lunch and Akane's cooking dinner
later." Ranko said.
"You poor girl." Ukyo said.
"Huh?" Ranko said.
"Let's go!" Akane said and pushed Ranko out the
door before anyone could insult her cooking.
Later at the dojo, Ranko watched while Akane and
Ranma spared.
"You two are really serious about this martial arts
stuff." Ranko said.
"You mean you're not?" Akane asked as she threw
a dozen punches at Ranma.
"C'mon, Akane." Ranma said as he jumped, ducked,
or side stepped all of Akane's punches. "She's my sister,
she's got to be a martial artist."
"Well then, let's see how good she is." Akane said
and they both turned to Ranko.
"You want to fight me?" Ranko asked.
"You think this is a good idea, Akane?" Ranma
asked. "I mean, she might hurt you."
"I can handle myself." Akane said as she and Ranko
took fighting stances.
Ranko threw a series of kicks and punches which
Akane blocked. Akane countered with a few punches and
kicks of her own, which Ranko also blocked.
"I think she's taking it easy on you." Ranma said to
Akane.
"Oh, yeah? Well, block this!" Akane yelled and put
all her strength into one big punch.
"Oh, shit." Ranko said as the punch connected and
knocked her across the dojo, bouncing her off the wall.
"Yes! Finally someone I can beat!" Akane yelled
and then saw that Ranko wasn't moving. "Oh, God.
Ranko!"
"Akane. You didn't..." Ranma asked in shock.
"I don't know!" Akane yelled as she ran to Ranko.
"Call Dr. Tofu!"
Just then Ranko's eyes snapped open. She grabbed
Akane's legs and knocked her off her feet. Suddenly she
was on top of Akane, pinning her arms above her. "Just
because I'm not as skilled as you doesn't mean I can't be a
sneaky little bitch when I have to."
"..." Akane was frozen in terror.
"Ranko, stop! You're scaring her!" Ranma yelled.
Ranko looked down to see the frightened look on
Akane's face and leaped off of her. "I'm sorry, Akane. I got
carried away."
"That's...okay,...Ranko." Akane said, trying to catch
her breath.
"What was that all about?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah?" Akane asked. "I knew I could break free
of you're grasp, but I was too scared to do so."
"Even a goddess has her dark side." Ranko replied
grimly.
"Oh." Akane said.
"Well, anyway." Ranko said, reverting to her
normal, cheerful self. "As you can see, I'm not that great at
unarmed combat."
"I would have thought that you'd be better, being a
monster hunter and all that." Ranma said.
"Nah. I usually let Yoiko do most of the fighting."
Ranko replied. "I am pretty good with a sword, though."
"Akane!" Kasumi called from the house. "Time to
start dinner."
The look of terror on Ranma's face surpassed the one
that Akane wore moments earlier. She leaned in close and
whispered in his ear. "Keep your opinions about my cooking
to yourself, or you're dead."
"Eating your food is a fate worse than death."
Ranma whispered back.
"Would you rather I sent Ranko to your mother's for
dinner." Akane whispered.
An image of Ranko sitting across the dinner table
from Nodoka's mutilated corpse popped into Ranma's mind.
"You win."
"How romantic." Ranko said.
"What?" Akane asked.
"You're whispering sweet nothings in each others
ears." Ranko said with a smile.
"I wasn't...she wasn't...we weren't..." Ranma tried
finding an excuse that wouldn't get him into more trouble.
"Oh, never mind."
"Well, off to work I go." Akane said and went off
to prepare something which resembled food.
"I guess now would be a good time for me to finish
unpacking." Ranko said and went to her room.
A few minutes later, Ranko was unpacking boxes
with Nabiki's help.
"Hey, Ranko?" Nabiki asked.
"Yeah?"
"I was wondering, were you serious about what you
said to Shampoo earlier?" Nabiki asked.
"You mean about not seducing Akane? You bet."
Ranko answered. "I get people together, not break them
apart."
"No, I mean about inviting her to join us." Nabiki
said.
"Oh. Sorry. I guess I should have asked you first."
Ranko said with an ashamed look.
"I never said I was against the idea." Nabiki said.
"Although Shampoo wouldn't have been my first choice for
a three way."
"How about one of your friends, then?" Ranko
asked.
"I don't think my friends are ready for you yet."
Nabiki answered.
"Is that why you're going out without me tonight?"
Ranko asked with a touch of mock disappointment.
"Sorry, Ranko baby. The shows been sold out for
weeks." Nabiki answered. "Besides, what would happen
with you and me when the lights went down?"
"I can control myself." Ranko answered.
"That doesn't mean I can." Nabiki said.
"Ooh. Maybe I should be warding against you,
too." Ranko said as she placed a series of wards around the
door and window.
"What are you warding against, anyway?" Nabiki
asked.
"Once these are in place, only you, Kasumi, and
Yoiko can get in without being invited." Ranko replied.
"Why Yoiko and Kasumi?" Nabiki asked.
"Yoiko's my best friend. I trust her with my life, so I
can trust her in my room."
"What about my sister?" Nabiki asked.
"I don't know." Ranko answered. "It's like I know
she wants what's best for me, and I would do anything to
make her happy. I think I love her, but not the same way I
love you. It's hard to explain, because I've never had
anyone like her in my life before."
"Ranko, do you know what you just described?" Nabiki
asked.
"What?" Ranko asked, because she didn't have a
clue.
"A mother." Nabiki replied.
"I think I'm going to be sick." Ranko said.
"Not before Akane's dinner, I hope." Nabiki said
with a grin."
"Someone's not telling me something." Ranko said.
"Let's just say that Akane's cooking is an experience
you'll never forget." Nabiki replied.
*Ding-Dong*
"There's my ride." Nabiki said and ran out of the
room, down the stairs, and out the door.
"Why do I get the feeling I've got a long night ahead
of me?" Ranko asked herself as she finished putting her
things away. In the back of her mind she thought that
something was missing, but she didn't know what.
Later, Genma, Soun, Ranma, and Ranko sat at the
dinner table as Akane served her idea of dinner. Kasumi
said she had a large lunch, so she wasn't hungry.
"What's with you guys?" Ranko asked, looking at
the expression of dread on her family's faces.
"Nothing's wrong with them. Right, Ranma?"
Akane asked.
"Er...right." Ranma replied.
"Well, since Akane was kind enough to cook this for
us, then we might as well dig in." Ranko said and brought a
piece of food up to her mouth.
"No, wait!" Ranma yelled.
"Wait for what?" Ranko asked as she took a bite,
Ranma was shocked when his sister didn't have a
violent reaction to the food. "Are you feeling all right?" he
asked.
"Yes. Why?" Ranko replied.
"Hey, Akane. It looks like you finally cooked
something edible." Ranma said as he and their fathers all
took bites...and immediately collapsed on the floor.
"Well, at least someone likes it." Akane said.
"This reminds me of Urd's cooking." Ranko said.
"You mean it's as good as a goddess's food?"
Akane asked.
"No, it's as bad as a goddess's" Ranko replied while
still eating.
"What!" Akane yelled.
"I take that back. Urd's food is usually moving
when she serves it."
"Ranko, you jerk!" Akane yelled and punted Ranko
outside and into the pond.
"What was that all about?!?" Ranko-kun yelled as
he climbed out of the water.
"You just implied that my cooking sucks!" Akane
yelled.
"Well, at least I ate it, unlike some people." Ranko
yelled, pointing to the twitching forms of Ranma and their
fathers.
"I'm not speaking to you!" Akane yelled and
stormed off it the kitchen.
"Tempermental, isn't she?" Ranko asked, but no one
was in any condition to answer.
In the kitchen, Kasumi was washing dishes when
Akane entered.
"That jerk!" Akane yelled.
"Did Ranma not like dinner?" Akane yelled.
"I'm used to Ranma not eating my cooking. It's his
sister that's the problem." Akane said.
"Oh, my! What did Ranko do?" Kasumi asked.
"She actually finished her meal, and then told me
how bad it was." Akane answered. "I mean, if she didn't
like it, then why did she eat it?"
"Maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings."
Kasumi said.
"Maybe, but I'm still mad at her." Akane said.
"You need something to calm your nerves."
Kasumi said. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Sure." Akane replied.
Kasumi looked through the cabinets and found the
box marked 'Lemon Tea'. "Ranko gave me a box of lemon
flavored tea. Is that okay?"
"Yeah." Akane said and took the cup of tea that
Kasumi handed her. She took a sip and made a funny face.
"Something wrong?" Kasumi asked.
"No. It's just that this tea isn't lemon flavored."
Akane replied. "It a little bitter."
"That's strange." Kasumi said. "There's a hand
written label on the box that says 'Lemon Tea', but I can't
read the writing on the box."
"Maybe it means you're supposed to add lemon
juice." Akane said.
Kasumi took a slice of lemon and squeezed a few
drops into the cup. "How's that?"
Akane took a sip. "Much better."
Kasumi went to the dining room to see the three
men on the floor in pain. "Where's Ranko?" she asked.
"In there." Ranma groaned and pointed to the next
room where Ranko was watching television.
"I see you found out what Akane does when
someone insults her cooking." Kasumi said, noticing that
Ranko was in his male form.
"I didn't mean to insult her." Ranko said.
"Akane has trouble controlling her temper
sometimes, so you should be careful what you say around
her." Kasumi said.
"I guess you're right." Ranko said. "I'll apologize
first thing in the morning."
"Would you like some hot water to change back?"
Kasumi asked.
"No. I was going to wait up for Nabiki, and..."
Ranko grinned. "Well, you know."
"No, I don't. And I don't want to, either." Kasumi
said and went back to her business.
"Something tells me she's still not too thrilled with
me sleeping with her sister." Ranko said to himself and
returned to watching television.
Later that night, Akane laid awake in her bed. She
rolled over on her right side. Then she rolled on her left
side. Then onto her stomach. Then on her back.
"I can't sleep." she said to herself. Normally she'd
cuddle up to P-chan when she had trouble sleeping, but he
disappeared the day before.
"I wish I was with Ranma." She said and sat up
straight. "Why did I say that?" She closed her eyes and
imagined the first time she saw Ranma as a boy.
It was right after Ranma arrived. Too ashamed to
admit that he was cursed, he let Akane believe that he was a
real girl. So of course Akane didn't think twice about
entering the bathroom while Ranma was inside. When she
opened the door she found Ranma-kun stepping out of the
furo. Her eyes trailed down the hard muscles of his chest
down to his manhood, which was rapidly becoming erect as
he stared at her body. Akane smiled as she stepped into the
bathroom. She knelt before him and took his hard on in
her...
"Woah!" Akane yelled as she snapped back to
reality. "I remember what happened, and me giving him a
blow job most certainly did not happen." She remembered
that she was afraid of the stranger she found in the
bathroom. But she was ashamed to admit that part of her
fear was that she was aroused by the first naked man she
had ever seen.
"Okay, so thinking about Ranma as a guy isn't going
to do me any good.." Akane said and closed her eyes, this
time imagining Ranma as a girl.
It was later that same day. Akane had a fight with
Ranma resulting in him getting flattened by a table. She was
in the furo in an attempt to relax. After her bath she went to
open the door to find herself face to face with a naked
Ranma-chan. Akane raised her hand and placed it against
the girl's cheek, drawing her in for a gentle kiss. Ranma's
hand trailed down Akane's body, coming to rest between
Akane's legs. Akane gasped as Ranma inserted a finger into
her...
"No, no, no." Akane said as she shook her head,
banishing the image from her mind. "I am not a lesbian."
That was only a half truth, though. While she had a healthy
amount of attraction to boys, she also felt something when
she was around cute girls. She thought that maybe
Shampoo was right and she was a pervert girl.
"Well, I'm obviously not going to get to sleep at the
moment." she said and went down stairs to break bricks
untill she was tired.
Downstairs she heard the television on and went to
see who was still up. She found the pigtailed boy dressed in
boxers and a muscle tee and sleeping in front of the
television. "I guess Genma must be snoring again." Akane
said and turned off the TV. She turned and was about to
try to wake the boy when she noticed the large bulge in his
shorts.
Something in Akane's mind snapped. She had a
need for something all night and it was right in front of her.
She got down on her knees and pulled the shorts off of him.
Akane wasted no time and grabbed his erection and started
stroking it. She leaned forward and ran her tongue along
the length of it. When she got to the top she sucked on the
head for a moment. Then she ran her tongue down the
other side and when she got to the bottom she sucked on his
balls. Finally she returned to suck on the tip and started to
bob her head up and down, taking in inch by inch untill the
whole length was in her mouth and throat. She was too lost
in her actions to even think of choking. After a few minutes
of work she felt his member begin to pulse as he shot his
seed into her stomach. To Akane it was the most delicious
thing she ever tasted. She felt him sit up and released his
manhood. She looked up to see her lover's eyes.
Green eyes.
"Oh, God. Ranko..." Akane stood up and took a
step back.
"Akane..." Ranko said and took a step toward her.
"No..." Akane turned and ran toward the kitchen.
"Akane, wait!" Ranko yelled and ran after her.
In the kitchen, Ranko found Akane over the sink
with a knife held to her wrist.
"Don't come any closer!" Akane yelled.
"Akane, you don't want to do that." Ranko said,
trying not to startle her.
"Yes, I do!" Akane yelled. "I'm going insane."
"Why, Akane? What's making you do this?" Ranko
asked.
"You have to ask?" Akane said. "I just gave you a
blow job, for crying out loud. I think I was hallucinating
earlier. How long before I completely lose control and start
killing people?!?"
"Akane, I'm not going to let you kill yourself."
Ranko said.
"You can't stop me." Akane said just before an
invisible force yanked the knife from her hand.
Ranko gave a sigh of relief. The magic he used
wasn't enough to deplete his reserves. Akane was in a
fragile state, so he'd hate to have to go to her for a recharge.
She looked down at the knife in her hand. "Akane, this is a
butter knife."
Akane fell to her knees. "I can't find my way around
the kitchen even if my death depends on it." she said and
started to laugh a little crazily.
Ranko set the knife down on the counter and saw
the 'Lemon Tea' box. "Have you been drinking this?" he
asked.
"Yeah. It was pretty good with lemon juice."
Akane said. "I wonder how it would taste with rat poison."
She started looking through the cupboards.
"I think I know why you're acting this way." Ranko
said.
"I told you. I'm insane." Akane said.
Ranko sighed and used the hot water from the tap to
change back to her female form. "Akane, come with me to
my room."
"I'm not going to fuck you even if you are a girl."
Akane said.
"Akane, I can explain what's happening to you."
Ranko said.
"Sorry. I'm busy trying to commit suicide." Akane
said.
"Akane, I have a gun in my room." Ranko said.
"Really?" Akane asked with an insanely happy look
on her face.
"If you still want to die after I've told you what I
have to, then you can have it."
"Deal." Akane said and ran up to Ranko's room.
In her room, Ranko dug through her closet and
placed three items on the bed. The first item was a bottle
with a clear red liquid inside. Next was what looked like a
pair of reading glasses. And finally she pulled out a Colt .45
with a full clip. Akane made a grab for the gun but Ranko
slapped her hand away.
"Listen first, remember?" Ranko said.
"Okay, but you'd better hurry up or I'm taking you
with me." Akane threatened.
Ranko picked up the bottle and handed it to Akane.
"Take a sip of this."
"What is it?" Akane asked.
"What's the matter, afraid I'm going to poison you?"
Ranko said.
"You'd be doing me a favor." Akane answered and
took a sip from the bottle. The insane look on her face
disappeared.
"Feeling better?" Ranko asked.
"Ranko, what's wrong with me?" Akane asked,
tears forming in her eyes. "I...I almost..."
"I know what your problem is." Ranko said. "You
love Ranma."
"No, I..."
"It's no use denying it." Ranko broke in. "The
proof is right here." She handed Akane the box of 'Lemon
Tea'.
"It says 'Lemon Tea' but I can't read the rest."
Akane said.
"Here." Ranko handed her the glasses.
Akane put on the glasses and looked at the box.
"Hey, I can read it now. It says: 'Add lemon juice to the tea
and be consumed with uncontrollable lust for the one you
love. Warning: Drink only in the presence of your true
love. If you don't insanity, depression, and suicide may
result. Especially if you have trouble expressing your true
feelings.'"
The only reason you came to me is because you
thought you thought I was Ranma." Ranko said.
"My God. I really do love him." Akane said.
"Don't you think you should tell him that?" Ranko
asked.
"I can't. I don't know if he loves me." Akane said.
"I see." Ranko said. "I won't tell him untill you're
ready."
"Crisis over?" Nabiki asked from the doorway.
"Nabiki?!?" Akane yelled.
"How long have you been here?" Ranko asked.
"Long enough." Nabiki answered. "The real
question is what will Ranma do when he finds out Akane
has been fooling around with his sister?"
"How much?" Akane asked.
"Nabiki! You can't blackmail her for that!" Ranko
yelled.
"Ranko baby, I can't have my sister move in on my
territory." Nabiki said and went over and kissed Ranko.
They both turned to see the shocked look on Akane's face.
"You two are..." Akane said.
"I suppose you had to find out eventually." Ranko
said. "Nabiki and I are lovers."
"So it wasn't an act." Akane said. "You really are a
lesbian."
"Actually, we're both bisexual." Ranko said.
"Let's get back to discussing the price of my
silence." Nabiki said.
"It's not her..."
Nabiki put a finger to Ranko's lips. "Watch and
learn."
"What's this going to cost me?" Akane asked.
"I'd rather that Daddy and Mr. Saotome didn't know
about me and Ranko." Nabiki said. "So if you keep our
activities to yourself, then I might forget that tonight's
incident ever happened."
"Thanks, Nabiki." Akane said. "I realize you could
have asked for more."
"Yeah. Well, I guess being in love is making me
soft." Nabiki said and then turned to Ranko. "What do you
say we spend tonight in my room?"
"I've got to talk to Akane first." Ranko said. 'I'll be
over in a few minutes."
"Don't be too long." Nabiki said and kissed her
before leaving.
"What do you want to talk about?" Akane asked.
"You're not the only person who knows about us."
Ranko said. "Kasumi found out this morning."
"What did she do?" Akane asked.
"Actually, she took it rather well." Ranko replied.
"She just said that she wants me to help Ranma adjust to his
curse."
"What's that have to do with me?" Akane asked.
"Well, Nabiki makes love to me in both my forms."
Ranko answered. "If things work out between you and
Ranma, do you think you could do something like that with
him?"
"I don't know." Akane replied. "I used to think I
was straight, but I'm not so sure anymore."
"Loving Ranma as a girl doesn't necessarily mean that
you're not straight. He's still a guy on the inside." Ranko
said. "It's all a matter of perspective."
"But won't he think I'm a pervert?" Akane asked.
"I'll explain that love between two women isn't
perverted."
"Thanks." Akane said. "Um, Ranko?"
"Yes?"
"I don't know if it was the love potion, but...well..."
Akane said.
"C'mon. Spit it out." Ranko said.
"Well...does it always taste that good?" Akane
asked and blushed.
Ranko giggled. "I guess 'spit it out' was a poor
choice of words."
To be continued...
It's finally done.
One of the reasons this took so long was that I got a Sony
Play Station with Final Fantasy 7 and Ghost in the Shell.
Anyway, the next part will be shorter and hopefully be out
quicker.
Thanks to T. H. for reminding me to limit Ranko's power
level. (Read Shikima Interface. It's delightfully twisted.)
Sent questions, comments, suggestions, etc. to
MrNu...@aol.com. Avoid flames, though, because they
will only encourage me.
I'll start the next part after I get some feedback on this one.
Speaking of which:
Next episode: Kasumi said she wanted Ranko to help
Ranma adjust to his curse. But would she approve of
Ranko's hands on approach. What happens when you put
two aquatransexuals in a hotel room together? See you
next time for 'Three Nights'.