[Ranma][Fanfic] "A Clear Thought"
Allison Barrett
Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the property of Rumiko Takahashi
and licensees. They are used in this story
without permission.
Author's note:
I've always wondered why the hell Shampoo puts up with Ranma. I
mean, I wasn't brought up in a completely female dominated enviornment
and I sure as hell wouldn't have put up with him for long (I love Ranma,
but would *you* want a boy who treated you the way he treats women?).
If the Amazons were really a female dominated tribe, who would want
a sexist idiot like Ranma to pervert the thoughts of their well-behaved
males? I understand that Shampoo and Cologne could both get caught up in
the thrill of the chase, but eventually, I think both would just get
annoyed
and either just have him killed or leave without him.
The Amazons are sexist in reverse, viewing men as property. I'd like
to use this sentance to state that *my* views are not the same as the
Amazon women's views.
But I did have fun writing them :)
I gave the Chinese characters slightly more dignified, Chinese(ish)
spellings of their names for use in China.
Clairity One
"A clear thought"
Allison Lynn Barrett
barr...@ucsu.colorado.edu
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/2571/ranma.htm
6/25/98
_______________________________________
Cologne sat in her meditation room, but was, at the moment, too
annoyed to start her daily meditations. The Son-in-Law had just
thwarted another one of their traps. How a stupid, boorish,
un-educated, male could manage to slip through some of the cleverest,
most time consuming traps that one of the strongest Amazon elders had
ever dreamed of escaped her. She was baffeled. She was simply
furious. Nothing like this had happened to her in over two-hundred and
fifty or so years. Her great-granddaughter was the most beautiful, most
talented, strongest Amazon of her generation, and she had not been able
to capture the Son-in-Law. Well, as much as this surprised and dismayed
the Amazon elders, the girl was young, and, having never met an equal
before, seemed to have become infatuated with him. The Amazon elders
then agreed that Cologne should go and help Shampoo bring back the
Son-in-Law. Cologne had done everything within her power, be it
manipulation, be it magical, be it martial to take the Son-in-Law back
home to the village, and yet nothing seemed to work. Although Cologne
hated to admit it, she was finally at her wits end. There was the
Son-in-Law's infatuation with the Tendo girl, but she was not nearly as
striking as her great-granddaughter. Why? Why? Why? Cologne couldn't
understand. Men were simple creatures, ruled by their baser instincts.
Just the sight of Shampoo should drive him wild. Perhaps his ability to
change into a woman had
given him some of the sense and dicipline that a woman posesses; why
then did he deny that part of himself? Cologne found herself wishing,
not for the first time, that he was not the Son-in-Law, and did not have
to be taken back alive.
Cologne sat on her zafu, not quite sure what to do. Was this the
end? What could she do? In the end, it appeared that she and Shampoo
had failed. Three-hundred years old and at a dead end because of a
boorish, un-educated male. She sighed, now no longer quite so angry as
simply despondant. She counted to ten once forewards and once
backwards, concentrating on only the numbers and her breathing, one in,
two out, three in, four out... She slowly began her meditation, perhaps
there she would find the answer...
"Shampoo!" Cologne called out, a few hours later. "Shampoo! Come
here!"
"What is it, great-grandmother? You find new way to get Ranma for
Shampoo?"
"Perhaps, child. I've decided to go to China for a week. Do
nothing out of the ordinary. You and Mousse can run the restaurant
while I'm gone, can't you?"
"Yes great-grandmother. Shampoo do whatever you say."
"Good girl." Cologne said and gently stroked Shampoo's hair with
one of her tiny hands."You behave. Remember, three-thousand years of
Amazon pride flow through your veins. Conduct yourself accordingly"
"You be okay, great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked, somwhat concerned
by Cologne's uncharistic act of tenderness.
The old Amazon woman looked at her great-granddaughter. The girl
reminded her so much of herself at seventeen. Perhaps her hair had been
a little more green than purple, but the body, the strength, the power,
the innocence and vulnerability that lay beneath it were the same.
Without answering Shampoo's question, Cologne begun the journey to
China, swiftly and silently as only one who as devoted more than a
lifetime to the Art can.
*****
"Kol-on," a friendly voice said as soon as she entered the village,
"have you and Xian-pu finally brought back the Son-in
Law?"
Cologne looked to see Xia, her dearest friend and arch-rival looking
at her from the window of her house.
"Its been so long," Xia said, "my useless husband will get up to
make us some tea and we can talk!"
Cologne shook her head and looked down. "No time for catching up,
Xia. I must call a council of the tribal elders. I have failed. I
have come to beg the elders for help catching this slippery Son-in-Law
and retrieving him."
Xia looked at Cologne something beyond shock. Xian-pu had beat her
Xiao-hei for three years running, just as Cologne had beat her in their
younger days. Something was beyond Cologne's powers, a mere male was
beyond Cologne's powers. Either Cologne was getting a lot older a lot
faster or something was seriously wrong.
"I'll have my husband make you some tea. You rest while I call the
council."
*****
The assembled council of elders sat at a long table in the main hut
in the Amazon village. Cologne sat almost at the middle of the council
table. Cologne kept her face carefully blank as she looked at the women
assembled at the council. Younger than her were Xia, Lun and Jun-ying.
Next to her on the west was Yu-mai, who could never quite forgive Kol-on
for taking Pei, the best cook in the village, as a husband. After
Yu-mai were Li and Yin-ling. Bao-fu, over a thousand years old, sat at
the farthest seat on the west.
Bao-fu spoke first, as was her right.
"Kol-on, why has the pesky Son-in-Law not been brought back? He is
a mere male, and first Xian-pu was sent, the best warrior of her
generation, then you, the best of yours was sent. He is Xian-pu's
property, and yet he still lives with the Japanese girl, and still obeys
no woman's word."
"I have tried, elder. For the past months Xian-pu and I have been
trying." Kol-on said, then went on to explain the many long and
annoying trials that had faced the two in Japan. As the her failures
went on and on, the tribe seemed more and more shocked. When Cologne's
dismal tale was through, Yin-ling spoke:
"You have failed, but I would forgive you. Any opponent who knows
the forbidden and deadly Cat-Fist is no simple opponent. I believe,
from what you say, that the Japanese girl has more claim on Ranma than
your Xian-pu, and he is displaying admirable loyalty."
"You have failed," Yu-mai said, "and I believe that you must be
punished. The Son-in-Law must be brought back. Tribal Law commands
it."
All eyes turned to Bao-fu, who was the eldest and whose judgment
would influence all others. Bao-fu sat for several long minutes in
silence, with her eyes closed.
"You have failed," Bao-fu said, in her clear voice, "but even I
cannot think of a technique which can counter the Cat-Fist. Perhaps the
ancestors know. We will ask them tomorrow what we may do to mend this
strange situation..." And with that, Bao-fu got up and walked out of
the room.
*****
At dawn, the old women met in the empty council room. Bao-fu began
the incantation, and all voices began to chime in. They chanted for a
long time before a silvery mist descended on them. When the mist
cleared, the Amazon founders stood before them. Each woman appeared as
she had in her prime, with her hair sheared off at the nape of the neck,
rugged clothing covering sleek, muscular bodies.
"What is it you would have from us? This world is no longer ours."
The thought came in chorus, though none of the women's mouth's moved.
"We do not know how to capture a Son-in-Law." Bao-fu said, her
voice shaking, although just barely, "This man has humiliated us,
ancestor. He has made fools of the Amazons."
The spirit women looked at each other then were silent for a few
moments.
"We have looked in your minds and see no such thing. It is you who
have humiliated yourself wasting time on such a throughly worthless
male. Xian-pu has disgraced herself, acting like a outsider woman to
get this man. She has told him that her body is more important than her
mind. She has groveled for him, cooked for him, given him her dignity.
She has ruined her body in the cursed springs. Let this disgrace go on
no longer. His mother gave him to the Japanese girl. He is her
posession. Our laws tell us not to steal from other women, and that
girl, although untrained, has a warrior's spirit. The boy, Ranma, is
rightful property of the girl Akane Tendo."
"Besides," The Ancestor Spirits said, "Every woman must meet their
match someday. He is a master of the Cat-Fist is not stable. As such,
he would be poor breeding stock. And, after all, that is all men are
really needed for."
The mortals looked at their ancestors in shock. Kol-on's mouth hung
so far open it looked as if her jaw would fall off. All the time she
wasted. All the pain she had put Xian-pu through. She dropped to her
knees looking ashen. The last surviving member of her line. The girl
had gone through so much, Kol-on had put her through so much, she did
not know what to do. All for a male. For a worthless male. How could
she have been so foolish?
"Never forget daughters, that we fought to be free from sexist,
dominating men like he who you seek to make your Son-in-Law. The less
time you spend in the company of men like him, the better your days
are. When we killed our husbands and came to this beautiful spot, we
rejoyced to be free of taking care of bombastic morons. We now had time
for ourselves. We trianed our sons to cook and clean for our daughters,
and our village thrived. Happiness can only be found with men who know
their place. This 'Son-in-Law' would do you no good. How can Xian-pu
study the Art when her man does not keep her home clean, or have her
dinner ready?
"We Amazons are free. Love your freedom. That was our gift to you,
my daughters. Retrieve the village's lost daughter and take her away
from Japan before she's wasted her whole life on a man."
The Ancestors looked hard at their descendants as the mists rose
around them. The mists slowly cleared, leaving the women with nothing
to do but stare.
"The Ancestors have spoken." Bao-fu said with an uneasy look on her
face. "Kol-on, you must retrieve your great-grand-daughter. She will
continue her training amoung her sisters and aunts."
Then, with her calm regained, Bao-ful spoke again, "A daughter of
our village has been wasted serving a man. Let us all help Kol-on ready
herself to reclaim her."
*****
As Cologne was preparing to leave the village, she felt light a tap
on her shoulder. She turned around to see Jun-ying, looking almost
sheepish. Jun-ying was a full generation younger than Cologne, but was
one of the most extrordianry fighters the Amazons had ever produced.
Jun-ying sighed and turned her face towards Cologne.
"Has my grandson, Mu-tzu, found you in Japan yet?"
"He has." Cologne answered with a faint smile.
"Would... would you give this to him when you get there?" She
asked, holding out an envelope. "I did not give it to him when he left
because he disobeyed me and follow Xian-pu to Japan."
Cologne took the envelope and placed it in her bag as she began to
summon her ride to Japan.
A half-hour into her trip, curiousity began to worm its way into
Cologne's heart. Since neither honesty nor integrity were her stong
points, Cologne decided to open the envelope. Inside was a sizable
amount of ten-thousand yen notes and a letter in chinese reading:
"Mu-tzu, here is your money. You may go and have the eye operation
now, but never disobey your elders again."
Cologne smiled as she re-sealed the envelope. Perhaps she would
have a great martial artist for a Son-in-Law after all. And a Martial
Artist who knew his place, as well...