[Ranma][FanFic] The Bet: Featherbrite's Tale chapter 3-4 rewrite.

[Gregg Sharp]

there's an omake at the end of this post.

Featherbrite's Tale, the Bet. 2.5 version
by Gregg Sharp based on Rumiko Takahashi's situations/char
other char TM Jack Chalker, JRR Tolkein, and other authors.
This whole thing is written for the purpose of momentary
enjoyment, *not* as source material for a character debate.
Some people aren't going to like this, and you know who you
are so please don't read this, because then you'll give me a
long and detailed e-mail about your opinion when it is
obvious mine and thine aren't the same. i'm now killfiling
the authors of such things so any actually constructive
feedback (instead of the usual ranting, obscenties, and/or
the use of the 'buzzword of the day' (ex:"straw man")) you
may have will be lost without ever having to waste space on
my computer.
true C&C, that is the comments and criticism that is
not merely snide remarks and hostile pejoratives, from
people who've actually read it, will still be accepted with
thanks.
Metro...@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
3: Another New Complication
OR... "Kasumi's New Friend"

"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well, Horatio. I told him not
to mess with that explosive PU-238 explosive space
modulator, but nobody ever listens to me." -B. Bunny

------------Tendo-ke, Nerima----------------------------
Featherbrite awoke to find the tall girl checking on her.
Another quick probe penetrated
the mortal's flimsy mental defenses.

Kind, nice, polite, quite intelligent, though there were
restraints and barriers in place. Featherbrite snapped to
full wakefulness and felt sympathy for this mortal. She'd
accidently put in a compulsion that would have her treating
Ranma's father like a low-grade moron. (Not that he wasn't,
in Featherbrite's opinion, but it might cause further
friction if this girl acted like that before Featherbrite
was ready to exploit it.) (1)

Worse, this girl had some odd compulsions and self-imposed
restrictions on her behavior that the faerie couldn't quite
understand. Still, there were some things that Featherbrite
had learned after 9,500 years of intermittent observation of
the Big Folk. One of these was that some of these humans
suffered from odd diseases like "shyness" and "insecurity"
and other insanities.

She'd also learned that some restrictions were
self-defined, others culture-defined, and still others
traumatically defined in the psyche. This last category was
almost always something she could mess around with and not
get the individual she was helping in trouble. If it was
tagged under a "Moral" heading, then removing it would have
bad repercussions. If a restriction was under "Survival"-
this also would be bad.

In some ways, Featherbrite decided, this girl was even
better as a potential mate to Ranma than the Amazon. It
wouldn't take much, either. A little tweak here, a little
push there, a tiny adjustment behind those chestnut colored
eyes and the girl would be seducing Ranma within the week.

Featherbrite sighed. It was SO tempting. She knew Ranma had
some odd ideas about this right/wrong thing, and probably
wouldn't approve. It was so hard not to do _something_
though. This "Kasumi" put on a happy face but that was just
on the surface layers. From what the faerie could see and
interpret, if she got this girl and Ranma together, there
was a fair chance of a deeper happiness developing. All it
would take was a little nudge.

Featherbrite restrained herself, but it was a close thing.

She did cut a few of these odd restrictions that the girl
had put on her own behavior referencing her intelligence.
For some odd reason, this girl thought that showing off her
own talents and intelligence (other than necessary domestic
skills, an area where no one sought to compete with her)
would "upstage" her sisters and cause them emotional hurt.
Humans did some pretty strange things.

Kasumi was talking about making the little guest a little
bed when Featherbrite remembered she'd left an Amazon
sleeping on the roof.
--------------Furinkan SHS,
Nerima----------------------------
Ranma grabbed one end of the whirling chain and realized
immediately that this wasn't a good idea. She would have
dodged but there had been people behind her, and it was only
a whirling length of steel with sleeves of a darker metal on
the links. It wouldn't have been any problem if she'd been
in the uncursed male form. However, in the half-faerie
form...

Nabiki was moving before the first involuntary scream from
Ranma, reaching into the flames in order pull the chain
weapon away from where it had wrapped first around Ranma's
hand, then the other end around the faerie-girl's neck.

Akane was rather surprised that Nabiki had beaten her to
the rescue. Not having read the same stories as her sister,
Akane thought that Kuno must have done something really odd.
Incendiary charges seemed out of character for the kendoist.
A quick glance at Kuno confirmed that he hadn't expected
this sort of thing either. The samurai was standing there
still, in shock at what his own actions had just wrought.

"Akane," Nabiki said as she stuffed the chain into her
bookbag. "Give me a hand here. She's gone into shock."

Akane lifted Ranma, amazed at how light the cursed form
was. "Hot water?"

"Nurse's office first," Nabiki replied as she opened the
doors to the school. "Those are third degree burns."

Kuno continued to stare at the place his winged goddess had
stood. His plans had crumbled away, and even his usual
delusions had trouble putting a positive spin on this
development.
-------------Myou na Maru(2), China------------------
The "fishing" vessel landed at a small dock that was
conveniently not on any maps, patrol routes, or official
lists. A deal had been cut ages ago (literally) that as long
as certain types of cargo weren't shipped/sold, then the
dock would remain open and a secret.

Five Amazons of the Nichieju boarded the ship, not having
to pay for passage as this was part of another agreement. As
long as the ship was of use to the various groups who made
use of its services, it was neutral ground. The male Amazons
and the "Washouts" were a little nervous
about the passengers, but others took it in stride.

Parcels were loaded into a haycart, and the ship was
quickly and efficiently unloaded. Just as quickly, the ship
was loaded and set out again. Mainland China had been a
brief stop for several decades now. One of the crew could
remember before the "People's Revolution" and the closing of
Chinese society. Another could remember being present when
Marco Polo decided to take a long trip.

Nathan Brazil, owner of the Myou Na Maru, was in one of his
phases where he was _not_ the Captain. He watched the
Amazons board and remembered the plains of Scythia and the
horse-riding spear-toting women that they had been well over
3000 years previously. They had been a fading legend in
Homer's time, but nomads were notoriously hard to pin down
by the later groups of archaeologists and legend seekers.

"Well," came a basso grumble from a squat seaman even
shorter than the Wandering Jew, "whatever you can say about
it, it's gotta be different. I mean 'Chinese Amazons'?"

"Last time they had crossed the ocean and had been located
in what's Nevada this time around. The time before that,
they were in South America. Every time the universe gets
reset, it's just a little different. If it weren't a little
different each time, I don't think I could handle it."
Nathan watched one of the amazons getting seasick even
before the ship had pulled from the dock. He wondered what
other changes had taken place with the Amazons. Heck, the
Amazons had become a significant force in American politics
during the last Universe. This time they seemed to be a
secret society.

"Hmph. Still don't know how you do it. I mean, I'm only 900
years old, and I still feel like going to sleep and somebody
wake me up when someone's actually doing something new."
Tolkein snorted. The old dragon still spoke with an English
accent despite his years of seperation from that land. He'd
taken the name of a writer from that land as a joke to any
who knew his real nature.

Nathan grunted softly. Despite appearances, maybe something
major different WOULD happen. Certainly he didn't remember
dragons and faeries showing up in the 20th Century the last
time.
---------------------Tendo-ke, Nerima--------------
"Something's happened to Ranma," Featherbrite was buzzing
along like an unhappy hummingbird. "He's hurt."

"Oh dear. He's probably at school by now."

Featherbrite didn't think that Shampoo would wake up, but
she didn't want the warrior to cause problems in her absence
if she did. There was also the unexplained matter of the
scent of supernatural evil in the yard.

The faerie sent a structured command into the amazon's
mind. <*This is Kasumi. She is a friend but not a warrior.
You can trust her. Because she's not a warrior, she may need
your protection.*> She sent a similar set into Kasumi's
mind, explaining that the amazon was a foreign warrior but a
friend who needed to be looked after.

It was due to the extreme hurry to find out what had
happened to Ranma that Featherbrite hadn't anticipated the
sort of problems that these two sets of instructions could
cause in the future.

In fact, by the time she remembered casting this spell
again, the effects would have snowballed.(3)

Shampoo smiled in her sleep. A friend. She had always
wanted one of those.

Kasumi looked down at her sleeping friend. She was needed,
and this gave her some immediate fulfillment. Yes, she'd
have to take care of this girl. Maybe some hot tea when she
awoke.
----------------Furinkan SHS, Nerima-----------------------
Mister Hisakawa, biology teacher, adjusted his belt and
tried to get his attention back on his class. He was failing
miserably.

A few more photos had been added to his collection of
Ranma-yousei. He had borrowed the Physics Department's
high-speed camera and caught a number of shots of the flying
martial artist. His friends in Tokyo University's faculty
would be intrigued by his sudden interest in special
effects, until they saw the wing sample he'd managed to get
from the patient in the nurse's office while her "guardian"
was occupied elsewhere.

Once they actually saw this Ranma, well, Hisakawa still had
some dreams. Being stuck at a minor Senior High School in a
Tokyo suburb was not what he had planned for his future.
Fame, fortune, girls, essays, girls, money, public
recognition, wealth, the lecture circuit, girls, these were
the things that were rightfully his and that he might yet
claim. All he wanted was his due, that wasn't so bad, was
it?

A pity about the boy, but exploratories would have to be
performed. What were the musculoskeletal connections for the
wings like? Were the internal organs more suggestive of
mammals, or was the insectile nature of the wings indicative
of the internal anatomy?

Hisakawa knew he couldn't count on much help among the
faculty at Furinkan. The physics teacher, Keiko Nagai(4)
would especially be against any of his plans. Nagai was
planning on having Ranma carry a few instruments aloft on
her next flight. Nagai wanted to explore how the faerie
could make 90 degree turns at high speeds, or float
weightlessly above the school. Nagai was already (having
seen the reaction of metal to Ranma and paid for information
from Nabiki) redesigning equipment to minimize the use of
metal in the testing devices.

Likewise Keiko Tomita was already waxing quite eloquently
about crushing the competition from the other schools if she
could get that flute player to sign up. Seeing the 4'10"
Tomita laughing maniacally and talking about the utter
humiliation and destruction of other High School's music
programs had been quite amusing. One would never have
guessed that she had taken the school's poor performance
over the last six years so personally.

Sighing to himself, and putting his dreams of the lecture
circuit to the side, Hisakawa-sensei returned to the lecture
of ATP>ADP and how muscles worked. The fire never left his
eyes, however, with the thought that he might not have to do
this again NEXT year.
-------------------------
Ranma awoke to find that he was a he again, and that he was
alone in the Nurse's office. A quick check revealed that the
Nabiki's scent (an inexpensive but vaguely flowery-spicy
perfume) was still fairly strong in the air.

Bandages at wrist and neck covered the worst of the burns.
Ranma could feel a small injury in his back, a gouge or
something.

Getting up proved to be somewhat more difficult. Years on
the road had taught Ranma a number of things. The sensation
of being poisoned was one of these and he gave both sets of
burns a tentative label of poisonous. The act of catching
certain black chains was filed under "things you want to
avoid in the future."

As the dizzy spell passed, Ranma got up and rinsed his face
off in the sink, remembering at the last minute to let the
water warm up before doing so.

A tiny figure glowing and sending off sparks, shot into the
room.
-----------Myou No Maru, near
China------------------------------
"<You suppose this is usual?>" Shammi hung over the side of
the ship. The green tint to her complexion was an
interesting match to the darker green of her pantsuit.

"<You mean the way the ship keeps lurching up and down? Or
do you mean the way that glowing green ship keeps appearing
behind us?>" Dina tapped her nunchaku idly against her boot.

"<Oceans didn't look nearly so bad on the map. Why didn't
anyone mention this problem of keeping one's lunch in the
proper place?>" Shammi glanced over at the hooded and
cloaked figure of Vanilla, whose reddish eyes were calmly
regarding the two males that had periodically
reappeared over near the forward railing.

Shammi had envied the albino very little over the years,
the albino was a better tracker but an uninspired warrior, a
fair cook but everything she made was bland. Vanilla's
ability to remain unfazed during the ship's movements was
the subject of some envy by Shammi at the moment.

That left a little nine-year-old girl who was only slightly
less comfortable than Vanilla. Tiger had been chosen
because, once again, she'd managed to get on the bad side of
Elder Cologne. This seemed to happen *way* too often.

Tiger was watching the shorter of the two short men and was
coming to an unpleasant conclusion. Both were very
experienced, but the taller of the two was more an artisan
than a warrior. The short one *was* a fighter. Not a martial
artist, but his obvious strength, sense of balance, and
overall appearance of "toughness" indicated a brawler who
had won many fights. She would have to make SURE she didn't
get into a situation where she had to fight the short man.
It would be most unpleasant.
---------------------------------------------
=========================
(1)- It's been said i need to clarify this. Featherbrite is
not quite the sort of faerie that appears as the kid's
sidekick in some children's video. In keeping with the
slightly more mature audiences that Ranma was intended for,
these are the faerie of the Faerie Realms, old and fey
creatures who don't quite understand human morality at best.
Beings of wild magic who are quite powerful, but also quite
limited. Featherbrite is near the low end of the power
scale. Oberon (more on him much later) is at the upper end.
Think less "Rainbow Brite" and more Shakespeare and "L'Mort
d'Arthur" era pieces. Another problem is that FB's view of
humans and their customs, practices, and morals is that
she's developed them over the past nine thousand years and
has a rather piecemeal idea of such things as mating
practices...
(2) Spelling corrected.
(3) In keeping with the nature of faerie, Featherbrite's
spells are all pretty much instinctive weavings of wild
magic (referred to as wyld magic hereafter to avoid
confusion with wild use of magic) with the basics being the
entreaty/requests of nature that Ranma can manage.
(4) Have NO idea what the official names of any of the
teachers, other than Hinako Ninnomiya, are. For purposes of
this fic:
Sanbei Hisakawa, biology teacher with dreams of
being a lecturer.
Keiko Nagai, physics teacher
Keiko Tomita, music teacher and cousin of Isao
Tomita
(5) This is not a canon "three-stooges" story. Physics,
except where otherwise indicated, will apply. Add to this
that (this version at least) Ranma is not stupid,
egotistical, or a jerk, and you make an Akane-Ranma romance
extremely unlikely. i respect Takahashi's ability to come up
with some interesting ideas. Her idea of the "perfect woman"
(Lum, Akane Tendo, etc) does not agree with mine, nor do i
consider the perfect relationship to be composed of large
doses of mistrust, mutual verbal abuse, and the girl
beating/zapping/bludgeoning the guy. i continue to get
e-mail that disagrees (in varying degrees of politeness)
with my opinion.

3b: Another New Complication
---------------Furinkan SHS, Nerima-------------
Concern prompted a certain short-haired young girl to
excuse herself from class early. As Keiko Nagai-sensei had
her *own* concern about those events, and under the pretext
of letting a fiancee check on her beloved's condition, the
physics teacher promptly excused that particular student.

So it was that in the silence of nearly deserted halls, one
Nabiki Tendo heard a voice talking before she entered the
nurse's office.

"So, cold iron is a BAD thing. What the heck is cold iron
anyway?"

Nabiki listened but couldn't hear another voice. She
delayed her entry, wanting to know what she was stepping
into before she got there.

"Iron that's been refined by other methods than heat? If
you say so. It doesn't make much sense to me, though. I mean
that stuff BURNED." Ranma's voice sounded tired. "Okay. What
did you learn? Was that baka oyaji of mine telling the truth
for once?"

Nabiki crept up to the doorway and peered in. Ranma was
sitting on the bed, addressing an empty chair. He was
listening to it apparently, too.

"He did WHAT?!" Ranma was incredulous. "Why did he do that?
She seemed like a pretty nice girl."

Nabiki blinked. Was Ranma talking to his "imaginary
friend"? She couldn't see or hear anything but at this point
wasn't completely willing to believe Genma was right about
this. Too many other things had blown her mind lately. At
this point, Nabiki thought that if she were to
see a unicorn trotting through the streets of Nerima, she
would probably just start a betting pool on whether it would
find a virgin. Hopefully *before* it came up to her. She'd
die of embarassment otherwise.

"Nabiki-chan?" Ranma looked puzzled. Nabiki flattened
herself against a wall and tried not to make any noise. Had
he seen her?

"She's my fiancee. My father and her father arranged it.
She seems a bit cold and uncaring..." Ranma paused.

Nabiki closed her eyes. Her image as the Ice Queen remained
intact. Even when people had seen her reaching into a flame
to pull the chains away from her iinazuke, they had merely
supposed it was to protect a potential source of profit. She
felt an unfamiliar pang that
her iinazuke would think this of her.

"...but that's just her defense against the world. She's
walled off the world to keep from getting hurt, but there's
a caring heart in there. I'm sure she can be nice and kind
and
warm when she's given half a chance."

Nabiki's eyes weren't the only thing that opened in shock,
her jaw was currently hanging loose. Her? The legendary
mercenary Ice Queen of Furinkan?

"Well, pops and Mister Tendo made some sort of arrangement
that I'd marry one of Tendo's daughters. Family honor kind
of thing, y'know. No, she's got two sisters. Actually, I'd
like you to look at them and see if I'm interpreting their
auras right."

Nabiki's mind started to run on high speed. Auras? He was
reading auras? <K-CHING!> This could be one heck of a
business tool if she could learn how he did it. Just
speculating on the uses during negotiations caused her to
miss Ranma's next comment. She tuned back in when she heard
Kasumi's name mentioned.

A slightly longer pause, then Ranma started again. "Well,
Kasumi looks like she could use a friend, someone to unburde
n herself on. She's sorta retreated from the world so it
can't hurt her. Nabiki's erected walls of ice around
herself, and is really into money as a method of control of
her environment. Akane has a nasty temper that seems to
relate violence to release. Underneath all that, all three
seem to be really nice girls." Another pause. "At least
that's
what little I've been able to read from their auras."

Another long pause. "Well, you did say that faerie nature
tends towards nurturer/healer as opposed to warrior. Look at
my cursed form, I've got a lot more of that stuff in me than
I thought. 'Sides, I can be good at more than one thing.
Something else YOU taught me."

"She's here?"

"Candidate #3? Maybe..."

Nabiki looked up, startled. That voice had not been heard
with her ears. It had been a girl's voice, much higher and
softer than Ranma's cursed form's voice.

She caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her
eye, but couldn't see anything when she turned her head.

Nabiki had always taken pride on her mind. One of the
things she'd always felt was that the three daughters Tendo
had a different focus, and that hers was the intellect
whereas Akane
was more freely emotional and Kasumi more spiritual.(1)

(Over the last couple of days, Nabiki felt that she was on
an emotional rollercoaster that would have given Akane a run
for her money.)

Nabiki took a deep breath. What if Genma had lied? Since
he'd come across as quite sincere, he would have had to be
lying to himself as well, but she didn't think that was
beyond
his abilities. He was a much more accomplished liar than
Ranma, that was for certain.

Nabiki looked at this dispassionately. Ranma had
demonstrated magic, had demonstrated skills that his father
didn't have and actively discounted the values of. The
father also had
no idea where Ranma had picked up these skills. Therefore,
Nabiki decided that she was faced with one of two
possibilities. One, Genma had been lying about no tutors and
Ranma had been coached in music and magic (among other
things) during his training journey. Two, his "imaginary
friend" was not imaginary.

The first of these Nabiki decided was the most likely but
unsatisfactory for several reasons. The outright contempt
that Ranma's father had for those musical talents especially
was quite apparent. The other was impossible.

That particular word was something that Nabiki felt
considerably less certain of after the past two days.

Nabiki's eyes flicked to the doorway of the nurse's office.
Ranma was leaning out of it to look at her in concern. She
found she... rather liked that. Not that she wasn't quite
capable of looking after herself, but that someone besides
Kasumi was concerned for her well-being. It gave her one of
those warm and fuzzy feelings, which had been one of those
concepts that had eluded her for many years.

Nabiki's mind continued to churn over the possibility that
faerie were real. Science taught that one came up with an
idea, tried to find evidence for or against, and thereby
prove the theory. How to determine the validity of this
theory, that was the crux.

"Featherbrite says your mind's all a-tangle," Ranma's voice
interrupted her train of thought. "She wants to know if you
really want to know."

Nabiki frowned. Mind-reading? She was most uncomfortable
with that notion, unless (of course) she was the one doing
it. Still... "Yeah, Saotome. I don't back down from a
challenge either." Nabiki tried to sound flippant but didn't
quite make it. "I'll accept the truth."

There was a sudden feeling of warmth and a laugh like
little bells ringing.

Nabiki blinked. That was *her* body over there, she was
looking through Ranma's eyes! Perched on her own head was...

A laughing six-inch tall woman with wings that resembled
the wings of Ranma's cursed form. The pixie stopped laughing
long enough to say something that sounded like "Candidate
number three!" The little figure looked extremely pleased
with this declaration.

The dislocation ended and Nabiki carefully brought her own
hand up to where she'd seen the figure from the vision. She
frowned as her hand just didn't seem to want to go where she
wanted it to.

The thought that there may be a lot of things going on all
around her that she couldn't perceive was intolerable to
Nabiki. She WOULD find a way to get past this. There was
also the thought of what it would be like to have an
invisibility like this, the secrets she could
uncover...

She WOULD learn how this was done.

"Brite," Ranma said in a quiet voice, "what exactly did you
mean by 'candidate #3' and why do I have a bad feeling about
this?"
-------------------------------------------
Genma moved a piece on the shogi board and tried to ignore
the purple haired amazon having an animated conversation
with Kasumi in the kitchen. He'd thought he'd seen the last
of the girl. "Curses, foiled again!"

"What was that, Saotome?"

"Oh, nothing, Tendo." Genma frowned, this was not going
anywhere near according to The Plan. The only positive point
in this was that from the discussion, it sounded like dinner
tonight would be quite spectacular.

"So, Saotome, your son plays the flute." Soun's opinion
mirrored that of his friend. Time spent on such useless
pursuits detracted from the Art. However, as Soun had not
gone through years of frustration, he wasn't nearly as
negative about these other skills. "He can cook, and he has
some...odd techniques."

Genma nodded. "Such a disappointment. I had such hopes for
him. He refuses to STEAL, Tendo!Even when we were training
hard on the road, and we could have stolen food and run away
like WE did in the old days. Boy has no priorities."

"Hardly the training we went through, eh, Saotome? Still,
he appears to be a skilled martial artist despite such a
lack of focus." Soun moved his own piece. That the future
husband of one of his daughters had more moral character
than his old friend Genma wasn't nearly as much of a
downside for him as it was for Genma. A good husband for one
of his daughters didn't sound like an entirely bad thing.
Still, whatever you could say about it, Happosai's training
HAD been effective.

"His skills, pah! Pretty pathetic, if you ask me." Genma
made an off-handed gesture that tried to encompass years of
failed efforts regarding his training of Ranma. Years of
frustration where Fate herself seemed to mess with the vast
majority of Genma's plans. Why, the boy has no killer
instinct. He doesn't duck work, he refuses to lie most of
the time, talks to an imaginary friend, won't steal, and
makes references to a Code Of Honor. Truly, Tendo, I don't
know where I failed."

Soun glanced up from the board, sarcasm lightly inserting
itself in his words. "Well, if he's that bad, maybe we
should consider annulling this engagement. He clearly isn't
a worthy heir to the founder of our school." Clearly Genma
was so upset about all this he wasn't even paying attention
to all the pieces Soun was moving.

Genma sighed. "It's tempting, but he's still one of the
best I've seen. I think the problem started when he got too
close to a gi... I mean a boy named Ukyou. It got
progressively worse as time went on. Especially after the
failure at the Catfist training."

"Catfist? The legendary Nekoken?"

Genma nodded again. "The same. The training is deceptively
simple. Wrap the young trainee in fish sausages, then throw
them into a pit of starving cats. I did it when the boy was
ten, as I wanted him to get over the imaginary friend stage
before putting him through this."

Soun was aware that the two girls had stopped talking.
Probably just busy with preparations. "So, was it
effective?"

"No," Genma studied the board. How had he put himself in
such an indefensible position? "Like many of my plans, it
failed due to unforeseen events. Unfortunately, the manual's
next page warns that it tends to leave the trainee
permanently insane as a result. I didn't stop the training
in time, obviously."

"Ah, hence the imaginary friend and insistence that he's
working magic and not merely manipulating chi." Soun frowned
a bit. Maybe insanity was in the Saotome line, the father
for using such a training method.

"That and the boy's ailurophobia."
-------------------
"Big sister Kasumi, does mean what I think it mean?"
Shampoo whispered from they were listening to the
conversation.

"No, Shampoo, it means that he's afraid of cats." Kasumi
smiled at the young amazon. It was amazing how well they got
along, so different from each other. Kasumi realized that
their differences were complimentary, however. That was
probably it.

"Aiyaa. That no so bad. Shampoo worried for moment."(2)
After all, she was already going to get even with Ranma's
father for one thing. She had to make sure she was running
up the tab correctly.
--------------------
Unaware of the whispering in the kitchen, Genma continued.
"It's truly terrible, Soun, but my son is nearly worthless.
Maybe one of your daughters can be the True Heir?"

"A girl, the Heir? I think not, Saotome. Though Akane is
quite skilled, would she have gone through what we did?
Would she have made the same sacrifices for the Art?"

"Hmm. Probably not." Genma thought about this. "Of course,
if one of them gives us a grandson early..."

"It'll be a chance for us to raise a child to be the True
Heir of Anything Goes," Soun nodded. "I can't really see
Akane going along with this. Underneath all the violence,
she
tends to adopt stray animals and is quite kind-hearted.
Kasumi would never agree to the sort of deal your wife did.
Nabiki..."

"I've heard Akane speak of her as a heartless mercenary. If
that's just not typical sibling sniping, would she sell her
own child if you give her enough money?" Genma grinned. "A
woman after my own heart."
----------------------------------------
Nabiki sneezed and shuddered. "Damn, I hope I'm not
catching a cold. Sneezing and sudden chills..."
---------------------------------------
"Kame-hame-HA!" Akane released the energy blast, knocking
Ranma completely out of the arena.

"Damn, you win again, Akane!" Ranma didn't look displeased
at the outcome.

Akane released the controls of the videogame and glared at
Ranma. "You LET me win, didn't you?"

"Honestly? No. I'm not really used to videogames though, so
maybe I'm just not as good as you at this sort of thing."

Akane blinked and spoke quietly almost to herself. "There's
something you're not good at? Well, praise be, there is SOME
justice in this world."

"Huh?" Ranma acted as if he hadn't heard her, which wasn't
the case even with all the videogames blasting away at
volumes that left his sensitive ears aching.

"Oh, nothing," Akane grinned. He didn't seem so bad when he
wasn't in that weird form. (IT still gave her the
willies.)(3)

"So what's next?"

"Nabiki will still be taking care of her business deals."
Akane thought about it. Might as well have some fun while
her sister's fiance was paying for it. "Got it, try this
game!"

"Martial Arts Basketbrawl?" Ranma blinked at the odd game
set up. "Soul Krusher JAM? Where do they come up with these
things?"

"I'll show you how it's done," Akane grinned. She was gonna
beat his butt so badly he'd be walking funny for a month.
She'd found something she could do better than him, well,
that and she definitely had the edge on him in some of her
classes.

That a little faerie had manipulated the games just a
little had gone unnoticed by Akane. Ranma, wisely, didn't
mention it. He understood the girl's pride, and giving her
things that she could lord over him would help her deal with
his superior skill in martial arts.(4)

Ranma almost considered letting Featherbrite do a little
manipulation. Redirect her anger into something before it
could either explode (an outside target) or implode (if her
self-image went on one of those downward spirals.)

Featherbrite, for her part, frowned. It would be SO easy.
Just a flick here or a nudge there, and this girl could
rebuild her own self-image in terms of something other than
beating the world into submission. But no, Ranma had noticed
her beginning to do this and had requested specifically that
the faerie not "meddle with Akane's mind."

Watching the girl beating Ranma at videogames, Featherbrite
got An Idea. Ranma was distracted now, and she wasn't to
make adjustments in the girl's _mind_. That did leave her a
few other options, and if Ranma's mentioning of a vampire
was correct, then she could at least put in ONE surprise...
=======================================
(1)- For the most part, as always, Anime continuity. The
catfist training was pushed back from five to ten due to
Ranma's perceived mental state. In the manga, however,
Kasumi is seen several times wearing a cross. As she doesn't
appear to wear jewelry for other reasons, there is a
distinct possibility of her wearing it due to a religious
belief. This is the basis of the "Closet Catholic Kasumi"
concept. Certainly her obliviousness could be a deeply
spiritual nature, not focussing on material concepts.
(2)- Fill in the blank however you want.
(3)- An old term referring to the feeling that something's
not quite right.
(4)- scene between Akane & Ranma comes at SKJAM's request.
Akane with a few self-image problems? Well,yeah. Think about
it, you think you're the best, and suddenly this guy blows
in out of town who is all that and a bag of fries. Given
time, she'd probably get over it...but chapter 4 is coming.

Featherbrite's Tale, the Bet. V2.5
by Gregg Sharp based on Rumiko Takahashi's situations/char
other char TM other authors. "Operation Shacking Up" is
courtesy of the delightfully twisted imagination of
Skysaber, whose Mirrors Multiplied can be found on a number
of other websites. Thanks to all my prereaders.
3c: Another New Complication
--------------------------------------------
Kuno put the tape into the machine and pressed play. The
Video Club had been putting together tapes of Akane fighting
the morning group with the result that Tatewaki Kuno had
bought a few of the tapes himself. They didn't gouge him
nearly to the extent that Nabiki did.

This had been going on for some time. Nabiki's candid shots
and the Video Club's films were all of great value to the
noble Blue Thunder.

There was Akane and her usual fight sequence. Such
ferocity, such grace! There was Kuno's own entrance,
flawless as usual. If he postured a little for the camera,
well it was his right and privledge, was it not? The joining
of the Tendo and Kuno lines, two proud lines of noble
samurai blood. What could be more natural? And Akane was the
very essence of that proud samurai heritage. No doubt when
he had tamed the falcon to accept her jesses, she would make
a fitting bride for one such as himself.

Then there was this...Saotome person...who had DARED
suggest that he was engaged to one of the Tendo daughters
and living under the same roof as Akane Tendo!

There had been rumors about Nabiki being the one engaged to
this Saotome Ranma, but Kuno well knew that there was only
one of the Tendo daughters worth courting. That this base
knave was getting closer to Akane Tendo under false
pretenses made the situation even more intolerable.

Rather than let this travesty continue, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High attacked this interloper. Like smoke, the
target of his righteous wrath evaded the blows that should
have taught the cur the error of his ways.

Being worthy of his Samurai ancestry, Kuno would not admit
defeat. He knew his skill was supreme. His weapon, the
bokken, reflected the finest sword design ever produced in
the world- the katana. Since it was impossible for him to be
defeated by other means, Saotome MUST have used the black
arts.

Or so ran his thoughts usually. Normally his train of
thought ran with all the fabled precision of the Japanese
rail system. Today it was running more like Amtrak, and the
events of the morning were the cause.

Kuno continued to watch as the tape cut to the next series
of images, taken from this very morning's events. The crowds
ready to pounce upon the fair Akane Tendo in what had become
a ritual combat. The normal events fell to the wayside as an
airborne arrival served to disrupt the very events that Kuno
had proclaimed necessary. He watched Nabiki arrive in the
arms of the pigtailed sprite, as she shot down from the sky
in time to do her usual mercenary work.

Kuno continued to watch, though he didn't want to see this.
The Video Club member was quite skilled, Kuno noted. Well
worth the price he had paid. The video had tightened on the
winged girl, showing the flames and other details that Kuno
had dreaded seeing. He saw the image of himself throw the
chain, the flames erupting where it touched the skin.

There had been many that morning who had been quite ill
from just the sight and smell of the burns.

Today something monumental had occurred. He had made a
mistake. The old folk tales of putting horseshoes and nails
over windows and doorways to keep the faerie folk away DID
have a basis in fact, as he had thought. Instead of
containment, though, the use of cold iron had produced a
rather different result than he had expected.

The old stories and myths were often contradictory, and it
appeared that some of those were rather more accurate than
others. Cold iron was a poison to the faerie folk, but did
not instantly slay them as SOME accounts had held. Kuno was
still trying to determine if that had indeed been the case.

In trying to capture the beautiful young winged maid, he
had quite possibly destroyed her. He had not seen the girl
since then. Nor was anyone willing to talk to him on the
subject. Even Nabiki, who would normally sell information on
ANYTHING given enough yen, had merely shot him a disgusted
look and departed. Worse, she had gone to check on her
fiance who had somehow become injured that very morning.
Ranma Saotome actually *was* engaged to Nabiki Tendo. How
anyone could pursue that soulless moneylender when they
could pursue Akane was beyond Tatewaki Kuno's grasp. Or, as
it appeared, it was the soulless moneylender who was
pursuing Saotome.

Had he been wrong somehow about them? Mislead through no
fault of his own, of course!

This brought Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan
High School, the rising star of the Kendo world, to an
entirely unfamiliar activity.

He was thinking. More, he was considering that if, indeed,
he had made one such grievous error...

Might he not have made others? And, if this all but
unthinkable event WERE true, was it not the duty of a
samurai to correct those errors? To right any injustices
that he may have
(however unlikely) committed?

Which would make him even more perfect, of course, but that
was a burden he could well shoulder.
-----Tendo-ke, Nerima-------------------
"Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo flew (not literally) out of the
house to perform a near perfect example of the Amazon
Glomp(tm) upon an unsuspecting Ranma. His gasp of pain was
enough to tell her that this wasn't really a good thing to
do.

"Who is this, Ranma?" Nabiki's voice went cold. Wasn't he
HER iinazuke? Then, of course, she realized that she wasn't
really supposed to care. After all, it was her father's
arrangement. Nothing SHE really wanted, after all.

"Urk." Ranma managed, wincing.

"Looks like she knows him really well," Akane was torn
between being angry at Ranma tolerating this girl's hug,
enjoying seeing her sister with boy troubles, and some
sympathy
for how pale Ranma had gone when the girl had put pressure
on the bandages on his neck.

The skin didn't look black and blistered anymore, but that
still looked like it hurt. Akane was actually surprised that
Ranma was still mobile after that sort of injury, trained
martial artist or not. The skin had been blackened and
cracked and smoking even after the chain had been removed.
To Nabiki's disappointment, injuries in one form carried
over to the other form.

Featherbrite merely sighed. None of the girls here could
see or hear her normally. She could try a mental link in
order to communicate, but mortals had funny ideas about
things like that. Especially Ranma, for some reason. Maybe
he'd never forgiven her for the "Man Among Men" thing...

"Uhm, Miss..." Nabiki paused as she noticed the color her
iinazuke was turning. Maybe he _wasn't_ doing this
deliberately. The way his eyes rolled up in his head was a
definite clue.

"Aiyaaa." Shampoo felt the groom collapse. "This no good.
Husband lose strength somehow?"

"Husband?" Nabiki spoke the word in such a way that one
could readily imagine ice crystals forming in mid-air.

"Husband?" Akane smiled. Now there was proof of what she
had suspected all along. He *was* a pervert. Now this
stone-age engagement nonsense would be ended.

"Girl's at least got taste," Featherbrite noted, even
though only Ranma and the recent arrival of Kasumi could see
and hear her. "Honestly, have things changed that much since
Sultan Whatshisname?"(2)

"Oh, Shampoo, you might want to let them get ready for an
early dinner."

"Ah! Big sister Kasumi is right!" Shampoo began dragging
Ranma into the house. "Airen eat much, get strength back
fast!"

"Oh, and Shampoo," Kasumi held up a hand. "By our laws, he
isn't your husband yet. He's also got that engagement to
Nabiki."

Shampoo nodded. "Which one Nabiki?"

"I'm Nabiki." Nabiki grabbed Ranma away from Shampoo. "What
do you mean 'husband'?"

"Shampoo, Nabiki is my sister. Promise me you won't hurt
her." Kasumi's voice was firm and there was a long moment of
silence.

Shampoo looked from Kasumi to Nabiki and back again.
"Shampoo promise. Shampoo no kill sister of Kasumi. Shampoo
show appreciation by washing friend's sister's hair with
special shampoo?"

"Why that would be quite nice, Shampoo." Kasumi nodded
happily.
-------------Faculty Lounge, University Of Tokyo-------
"Hisakawa's really flipped out this time."

"What? That loser?" Kuniko made a depreciating gesture.
"What's he got this time, did
he sight Gojira? Mermaids?"

"A sylph," Isao fed the tape into the machine. "Even sent a
tissue sample."

"Yeah, right. I always knew ol' Buzzard Face would flip
out." Kuniko blew a smoke ring
towards the ceiling. "He's scum, you know."

"Everyone has to have their dreams." Isao Nusumu hit play.
"Even if..."

"The special effects are pretty good," conceded Kuniko
Kumo. "I didn't know he was
into that sort of thing."

"He isn't." Isao watched the tape as camera angles switched
and another scene played.
"Look at how jerky he is with camera. That's Hisakawa's
all-thumbs work all right. I think we
need to go to Nerima."

"You're serious?" At Isao's nod, Kuniko's eyes went to
slits. "And if this is for real?"

"We'll cut Hisakawa out of the loop before he knows what's
hit him. Why let him drag the rest of us down when THIS
could set us up nicely for years to come?"

Kuniko and Isao grinned at that, each visualizing how they
could use this sort
of thing to further their own agendas. Of course, each would
betray the other as soon as the opportunity arose.
-------------Tendo-ke, Nerima-------------------
The two fathers sat at one end of the table. Ranma and
Nabiki were at the other end. Akane, Kasumi, and Shampoo
listened in on the sidelines.

Genma pushed his glasses back up his nose, looking as stern
and fatherly as he could manage. "How to begin?"

"So what is this big news bulletin?" Nabiki was openly
suspicious. She'd had to deal with her father's bizarre
schemes before.

Soun crossed his arms in front of his chest and regarded
the two children in front of them. "Now that Shampoo will be
staying here, there will be some changes in the sleeping
arrangements."

"She is NOT staying in my room," Akane glared at everyone
trying to find someone who would disagree. She wanted it
clear at the beginning that this was not negotiable.

"Shampoo can stay in big-sister Kasumi's room or in room
with airen. Is no big deal." Shampoo smiled and nodded her
head politely. Either was acceptable for her.

"Which is not fair to Kasumi," smoothly interjected Soun
Tendo. "So, Ranma, you will move into Nabiki's room as
well."

"Hey, I'm already sleeping with Pop in the room!"

Genma looked disapprovingly at his son. "Show some
gratitude, boy! We've been sharing the same tents and
campsites for ten years! It's high time I exercised my
rights as your father and got a little privacy!"

"Privacy! What about Nabiki? What about HER privacy?"

Nabiki nodded. The whole thing smelled of one of her
father's schemes. She valued her privacy, though with
vampires running around she also valued the protection value
having Ranma at hand would provide. Now if she could just
figure out why the phrase "Ranma at hand" brought a brief
blush to her face.

Genma adjusted his glasses again. "That's not a concern,
boy. Just show some gratitude for once and listen to your
father on this."

"You ARE a guest here, you know," Soun reminded Ranma of
the cultural obligations of a guest in a Japanese home.

Kasumi spoke from where she stood. "Father, are you really
sure that this is the best idea? I don't mind having Shampoo
share my room. We also have another guest room."

"Shampoo can stay in the other guest room. There is no
reason for you to burden yourself unnecessarily, Kasumi. As
for Ranma, you needn't worry about him. I'm sure he'll be a
perfect gentleman. Besides, he and Nabiki are already
engaged to be married. It is only right that they learn to
live together in harmony. Sharing space is a big step in
that direction." Soun nodded and looked thoughtful as if
this was all just occurring to him.

"A *brilliant* solution, Tendo," chimed in Genma.

"Thank you, Saotome," said Soun with a nod of the head.

"Oh man," Ranma rubbed his forehead as if he had a
headache. "Couldn't I just sleep in the living room or the
dojo or something?"

Soun looked as if he was going to manifest his demon head
at any moment. "WHAT!? And have someone cluttering up my
home like a vagrant? That is absolutely out of the question.
Appearances are vitally important to the future of the
Anything Goes school."

Nabiki folded her arms and gave her own stern look towards
her father. "Actually, daddy, if appearances are what
concern you, consider what it looks like to have me share my
room with a boy." She was NOT happy about this.

Soun and Genma spoke in an eerie unison. "That's why we'll
pretend he's just a girl!"

"Excuse me?" Ranma blinked. Just the chorus indicated that
they had rehearsed this. If so, they were pretty well set in
their course.

"What?" Nabiki felt like facefaulting. She came to the same
conclusion as Ranma.

"Oh my."

"Yeah, right," Akane offered.

"Everyone speak slower. Shampoo not finding all words fast
enough!" Shampoo was flipping frantically through her
translation dictionary. "Vagrant?"

Genma ignored the amazon. "That's right. He'll just have to
stay in girl form for the evenings. That way there's no
question of modesty."

Nabiki facefaulted, noting that she had beaten Ranma to it
by several seconds.

Much later:

"Are you sure about this, Saotome?"

Genma leaned forward. "Trust me, Tendo. The boy hates being
a girl for any length of time. He'll soon disobey us. And
when your daughter finds she has a handsome young man
sleeping in her room..."

Soun grinned. "We let nature take its course! Oh, my
friend, this will work. Then we'll have grandchildren and
you can train one to be the True Heir of the Anything Goes
fighting style. What a grand day."

Genma nodded with a satisfied smirk. "It's Soun and Genma's
Operation Shacking Up!"

Shampoo edged away from the roof. It was as she had
expected. Now, how to foil the plot? She might just have to
wash that man right out of someone's hair after all.
---------------------------------------
(1)- As Nabiki stated earlier, these are Third Degree Burns.
It has been stated that Ranma has had worse. The neck and
one wrist were completely wrapped. So figure that's about
two inches of both areas. He didn't faint from the pain, he
went into shock. This is a pretty severe trauma. I'm not
exaggerating about the sort of reactions you get on these
kind of injuries. The smell kinda lingers too. Even with
Ranma's recuperative powers, the poisonous effects are gonna
keep him a little woozy.
(2)- Featherbrite's lived a long time (12,000 years) and has
seen a lot of human history (9,500 of those years, usually
at the outskirts) during that time. She couldn't tell you
who the ruler was, but his harem had such delightful
gossip... She'd probably drive any number of historians
nuts. But then, so would Nathan.

<Featherbrite's Tale, the Bet. v2.5
by Gregg Sharp based on Rumiko Takahashi's situations/char
other char TM other authors. minor citrus flavoring in one
scene.
Metro...@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/

"Ah, a long hot soak. One of the few redeeming things of
civilization." -Garnn, barbarian

"Is Shampoo's turn to fire wave motion gun. Akane already
have her turn." Shampoo, A Very Scary Bet.

4: Arrested? No. Captured!
OR... Shampoo the Vampire Slayer
--------------Tendo-ke,
Nerima---------------------------------
Ranma sat back and enjoyed the simple luxury of a hot soak.
Rinsing had put him in yousei
form, which he hated for its alien appearance and attendent
sex change. (Though he _would_ admit
that the flight stuff and enhanced senses were cool.) The
hot water had instantly restored both gender and species,
and was welcome for other reasons.

For much of his life, bathing had been done in lakes or
streams, or an old oil barrel at best. It was a simple
pleasure, allowing one's aches and pains to slowly ebb,
muscles to relax, and nerves to unfrazzle in the steaming
hot water. This, an actual furo or soaking tub, was
something that Ranma felt he could get used to.

He didn't have much respite tonight, though. He knew that
at some time during the night there would be another attack
by the vampire. Having tasted Akane's blood once, the
vampire would return again to sample the same prey and
increase his influence on her. If he did so three times,
Akane would die and rise three nights later as a vampire
herself.

There were further preparations still to be made to greet
the vampire. Now, however, Ranma could spend a few moments
in quiet appreciation of a long hot soak.

The moment was broken as the door slid open.

"OH my!" Kasumi blushed and covered herself with a towel.
Oddly enough she didn't look away.

"Shampoo agree with friend Kasumi." Shampoo covered her
eyes, the effect being somewhat spoiled by her spreading her
fingers a moment later.

"Mine!" Nabiki's reaction was so intense it was almost
violent. This brought a stare from Kasumi and Shampoo.

Ranma lowered himself further into the water and wondered
if he could possibly learn invisibility. Featherbrite seemed
to think he could do it.

Featherbrite, having flipped the "Occupied" sign earlier,
thought it was only fair for the Candidates to get a good
look at what faerie magic, good genes, and a good diet while
growing up could do.(1)

"A man among men, indeed," snickered the faerie. With a
rather lighter heart, Featherbrite turned her attention to
her own preparations for the upcoming battle.

Shampoo and two others watched as Ranma pulled a towel out
of nowhere and vacated the tub.

Kasumi thought that it was impolite to stare, but somehow
just couldn't bring herself to look away. She put it down to
concern about him slipping and falling on the way out, yes
that was it.

"Why big sister Kasumi shred towel like that?"

"Oh my?"
----Nichieju, China----------------------
"<Rink!>"

"<Pink?>" The Healer (apprentice, second class) blinked at
the presence of her sister the Herbalist.

"<News!>" Pink held up a newspaper. It had a story about
whoever that guy had been who
had beaten Shampoo and vanished. For some reason a number of
Elders had taken enormous interest in the guy.

"<Shampoo? Honestly, your rivalry with her is...RANMA
SAOTOME??!>" Rink blinked again,
her jaw hanging open. She'd caught a glimpse of a tall and
handsome young man during the event, but her reaction at
that time had been more along the lines of how Shampoo might
finally have a life outside of beating on people all the
time. That was *her* tall and handsome young man. How dare
Shampoo do this?!

"<What do you say NOW, sister? She is stealing YOUR fiance
as arranged by our mother.>"
They knew all about it. Pink had no interest in the boy,
other than as something to take away from Shampoo.

Rink looked up at her sister, crumpling the newspaper in
her hand. "<Shampoo, I will steal your happiness!>"
----Tendo-ke, Nerima-------------------
A few hours later, Ranma-yousei was sleeping. The poor boy
had been exhausted by some ritual he'd prepared that (he
hoped) would weaken the vampire and keep him from shifting
forms while inside the house.

Nabiki was glad that the sylph didn't snore at least. She,
however, wasn't able to sleep just yet. Having a boy (even
if he was a she at the time) sleeping THAT close
was...distracting.

Maybe it had been the earlier scene in the furo. Maybe it
was just she wasn't used to having a nightlight.

Ranma's faerie form put out a slight glow. It was only
noticeable during periods of great stress, or like now where
there was no other source of light. A slight sparkly
glimmering that shifted continually in hue and brightness-
reflecting Ranma's emotional state.

"This has GOT to go," Nabiki muttered at the ceiling. Pink
and purple flickering answered her quiet comment. "Great.
Just great." More multicolored flickering shifted with each
syllable. Nabiki was vaguely reminded of that foreign movie
"Close Encounters" by the odd color shifts.

A little smile crossed Nabiki's face. Annoying, but also
amusing in a way. "I really value my privacy, Saotome. Just
wanted you to know, I'm REALLY beginning to resent your
presence." The colors flickered to a more dark blue. "You
also smell, you know that? Sort of a baked cinnamon. Men are
_not_ supposed to smell like baked goods. I'd noticed that
earlier. I can tell what mood you're in by the scent." The
colors had faded down to violet.

"Well, maybe I'm not resenting your presence *that* much."
Nabiki watched colors flicker and tried to relax for a
moment. "Though that cinnamon smell is making me hungry. I
just wish I knew what to do about you. You act so damn nice
one minute, then you do something just totally weird the
next."

"Nabiki?"

Nabiki turned her head slightly to look at the figure
standing on the edge of her bed. "How come I can see you?"

"You're in the state between awake and asleep, the twilight
between reality and dream. You're open to a lot of things
you wouldn't be normally." Featherbrite walked up to the
girl's shoulder and sat down.

"I don't get it, but okay." Nabiki filed the information
away for later retrieval. "What's the deal with cold iron,
anyway? The old stories conflict about the effects and don't
go into why."

"I'm not sure. The faerie way is to accept things, not to
do as you humans do and concern yourselves with the why."
Featherbrite sighed. "I think it's like this tamed lightning
that you humans have come to use."

"Electricity?" Nabiki yawned as she started thinking about
this. Grounding effect? Magnetic fields? "Can you turn off
the nightlight effect at least?"

"Oh, Ranma's glow? He won't have it in his uncursed form."
Featherbrite looked into the young girl's eyes. Practiced
eyes took in the details of the mortal girl's aura and came
to conclusions. "Do you want to sleep? I can help you
there."

"Of course I want to sleep. I've got school tomorr..."
Nabiki's eyes abruptly closed and she slept.

Featherbrite smiled and walked up to the girl's head.
"Sweet dreams," the faerie said. It was a promise.(2)

Nabiki's lips curled up in a little smile as she dreamed.
---------Myou no maru, Sea Of Japan---------
Tolkein watched the wake behind the ship and smiled. It was
easy for him to picture the
same wake behind a galleon as when he first had come to
these waters over 200 years previously.

He was aware of the ship almost as if it were a part of
him. It was his lair, after all, and a dragon was aware of
every part of his lair.

Tolkein had wondered if there were other dragons out there,
doing the same thing. Or was he the last of his kind? He
hadn't seen another dragon in over four hundred years, and
that had been an ancient one preparing to leave this world
behind.

Upon seeing the albino and sensing the strangeness, he'd
hoped that here was another. It
had taken some time to determine that she was NOT a dragon
but was a half-breed. Of WHAT he was
not sure yet.

Tolkein smiled because one of the dangers of such a long
life was getting bored. He had been ready to find a nice
out-of-the-way cave, cast a glamourie, and spend a few
centuries in dragonsleep under the spell's concealment.

Things were looking less boring.

The transformed dragon's ears twitched slightly as Captain
Fujii reported to her superior, Tiger Tanaka of the Japanese
Secret Service. She was cooperating with those MiB and their
mystically oriented counterpart in the United Nations,
Section Z.

"So, these aren't the bug critters you know from that Well
World?" Tolkein rumbled in a deep voice more appropriate for
his real shape then a short British seaman.

"No. These guys showed up last reset. This one really got
bizarre quickly." Nathan's presence was given away by the
ruddy glow of yet another cigar. "Extradimensional meddlers,
or just a new lifeform, I'm trying to determine. Something
that new and old at the same time is kind of bizarre."

The dragon chuckled. "Now there's the pot calling the
kettle..."
---------Tendo-ke, Nerima------------------------
Ranma awoke when the disturbance hit the first set of
wards. Featherbrite settled onto his shoulder and lightly
touched his mind, adding her own sensory input. That
sometime during the night he had shifted back to male form
was noted, and he sensed that the little faerie had had
something to do with it.

As Featherbrite's perceptions added to his own, the
darkened room seemed to suddenly
come into color. A pale yellowy glow surrounded the softly
murmurring Nabiki, and the various wards had a fitful white
flickering around them.

Ranma snuck towards Akane's room, where the attack would
begin, stopping only long enough to open Kasumi's door.
Featherbrite briefly conjured a blue glow into the room
which was enough to awake the two occupants.

Sounds of a window being opened reached Ranma. "Now."

Ranma opened the door, interrupting an attempt to give the
entranced Akane a hickey that would do more than break the
skin. His opening remark was a flying front kick.

Akane dropped as the vampire turned his attention to the
newest victim. The shock was
enough to bring her to full wakefulness. Her reaction to
seeing a slavering, fanged, middle-aged
European businessman fighting Ranma in her room at midnight
was about what one would expect.

Her scream got everyone up but Nabiki.

Nabiki merely put her head under her pillow and mumbled
something about ice cubes and ostrich feathers. Ranma's name
came up a couple of times.(3)

"Oh...my..." Kasumi managed to say, holding her cross to
bar passage into the rest of the house. Watching over
Shampoo's shoulder the scene of Ranma fighting a vampire in
Akane's room, she couldn't believe she'd ever thought that
younger men were boring.

Shampoo stood guard in front of Kasumi. She knew the plan.
She also knew that no plan ever
survived contact with the enemy.

"What's going on..." Genma saw the vampire, remembered
Akane throwing him down the stairs the previous night, and
decided to leave this fight to the boy. About time Ranma
stood on his own two feet anyway.

Soun saw one of his daughters being menaced by a vampire
and started to squeeze past Kasumi. He would not allow this
to continue. Thereby proving Shampoo's point about battles
not allowing a plan to survive.

Featherbrite took the opportunity afforded her by Ranma's
battle and sat on Akane's head. Magic flowed like a stream
from the faerie to the young girl.

Vladimir was unused to this level of interference, but
wasn't letting any of the cattle get in the way of his
plans. Unfortunately, the martial artist didn't seem
inclined to stand
still and let the vampire get to business. "Slave, attack."
Let the girl take some of the heat off of him.

Akane watched but didn't hear the command. Featherbrite had
turned off the sound. Akane saw everything going on, but
couldn't move even if she could hear the command.

A vicious backhand with a vampire's supernatural strength
managed to throw Soun Tendo the length of the room, a demon
head attack just beginning to form. He slumped and went
still.

Vladimir finally managed to grasp the young man whose
harmless blows had proved such a distraction. One hand was
enough to hold this worthless creature up and would be
enough to crush his neck in front of his family. Then
Vladimir could find the faerie and gain the power needed to
avenge himself against Dmitri.

"Shampoo want to know if she can cut in?" Shampoo ducked
under another swing from the vampire, to come up behind him.
She moved.

Vladimir looked down at his chest noting that there
appeared to be a wooden practice sword
sticking out of it.

"Technically, Shampoo, that doesn't qualify as a 'cut' at
all. More of a thrust." Kasumi smiled at her friend. It was
so nice that she was getting the chance to vent some of her
violent impulses.

"Oh," Shampoo stepped back and regarded the impaled
vampire. "Shampoo think maybe big sister Kasumi is right.
Just moment please."

Ranma thumped to the ground, feeling that his neck had
taken WAY too much abuse today. Even with the minor healing
spell he knew.

"Kasumi please to look other way briefly?" Shampoo smiled
at her "big sister" who was almost like the mother she'd
never had.

Vladimir dropped to his knees, trying to push the wooden
sword out of his chest. He was too close, he couldn't be
stopped NOW.

A Chinese sword made a whispering noise as it cut through
the air. "Shampoo have to thank Razor. He very good
weaponsmith, put good edge on sword. Even if he a very weird
male, he know his business." A thump punctuated her
statement

"Shampoo. Why?" Kasumi blinked, puzzled over her friend's
actions but grateful there was no blood to mess up the
floor.

Shampoo began cleaning her sword and smiled at her big
sister's confusion. "Ah, Kasumi not know? Shampoo know how
deal with vampires. First have to use stake or wood through
heart. Then have to cut off vampire head. Then leave head
and body out for sun. When turn to ash must use running
water to flush ashes or throw in sea. Then, very important,
must celebrate three nights
later to honor ancestors and spirits who help bring
victory."

"Oh, a party?" Kasumi nodded to indicate she understood.
She'd have to go shopping.

"You...saved me." Akane looked at the amazon with a
completely different viewpoint. "He...he would have..."

Shampoo nodded and smiled. After all, she had just proven
that she was a thoroughly kick-butt Amazon warrior who had
the tools and the talent. She was feeling every inch the
champion. Hah, let the rest of her village know that Shampoo
was now entitled to have the title Vampire Slayer. Shampoo
the Vampire Slayer, she rather liked the sound of that.

"And I thought you were just a stupid violent bimbo," Akane
murmurred.

Shampoo frowned and took out her Japanese-Chinese
dictionary. "Just when Shampoo think she getting hang of
language..."

"It's not important, Shampoo," Kasumi quickly covered.
Akane was just feeling a bit free with her tongue after
having just escaped being a vampiric slave. No reason to
spoil the moment. "Come on, Featherbrite can put wards
around the head and body."

"You are NOT leaving that in my room, are you?" Akane
swallowed hard, turning a pleading gaze from one person to
the next. She was supposed to trust her safety to Ranma's
imaginary friend? "C'mon. Kasumi? Ranma? Shampoo? Please?
Can't I sleep with one of you guys tonight?"

Downstairs, Genma was draining his third bottle. He had
*not* seen what he'd thought he'd seen. It had to have been
a hallucination, so there was nothing to get worked up
about. Ranma could *not* have been fighting some snarling
fanged guy with glowing red eyes in Akane's bedroom.
Absolutely not.

Lots of sake helped. Years of denial gave him a lot of
practice. Hard enough to accept a Chinese curse that turned
him into a panda and his son into a winged daughter.
Vampires could *not* really exist, just myth and
superstition.

Had Ranma been making advances on Akane? Yeah, that was it,
and she'd been fighting him off. If this thing with Nabiki
didn't go off as planned, they could try for a few
illegitimate children on the side. The lines would still be
joined and the mother wouldn't mind shoving an embarrassment
off on a long training journey.

Genma would have found Soun and explained the sake-granted
insight, except that the sake was finally having the
intended effect. He would wake up in the morning with a
rather severe hangover and only fuzzy recollections of the
night.

Besides, Soun Tendo was still unconscious himself, though
Shampoo and Kasumi had carried him off to his own bed where
he'd be more comfortable. At least more comfortable there
than
imbedded in the wall he'd impacted.

In her room, Nabiki was smiling and mumbling something
about whipped cream and strawberries.

Ranma glanced over at Nabiki as he prepared for bed. He
hadn't known that she liked strawberries. Maybe he ought to
pick her up some as a peacekeeping gesture, after all she
couldn't be happy about these living arrangements.

Shampoo stared at the ceiling on her futon, listening to
Akane on HER futon. Kasumi kept her bed. Life in Japan was
so different from the village. A warrior's life was hard,
because an
Amazon had to be tough and ready to fight for everything.
Her eyes caught the frills and lace around her friend's bed.
If she dressed more like Nabiki or Kasumi would Ranma pay
more
attention to her?

Featherbrite checked on Nabiki, and wondered at some of the
strangeness the girl was dreaming of. Well, the ostrich
feathers weren't THAT bizarre, she'd heard of that back in
that Sultan's harem. After a moment's deliberation, she
decided that she ought to see if Kasumi or Shampoo had the
same sort of reaction. Maybe it was some Japanese thing...
==================
(1) Featherbrite has been listening to washerwomen, harem
girls, and other gossips for centuries. Does she want her
friend to suffer from these complained about lacks or being
substandard? No! She therefore used magic to correct these
perceived inefficiencies/problems during Ranma's
development. If you need more details and still do not
understand, you are too young for that information. This
note is because some people still don't get it.

(2) This is just Featherbrite using magic that causes her
to fall asleep and ensures pleasant dreams. Everything else
is supplied by Nabiki.
As to the morality of Featherbrite engaging even in
such minor mind control, her morality is of an alien nature.
She doesn't "get" humans, even with her years of experience.

(3) Don't ask. See also note #2 above.

------------Tendo-ke, Nerima-----------------
Nabiki woke up, stretched, and realized she felt GOOD.
Fully awake, fully energized, and ready to take on the world
(or at least Furinkan.) Also somewhat ravenous and not
entirely sure WHAT had happened last night.

There was a sleeping Ranma over there, in male form. From
the look of things, he'd been in a fight last night.

"Oh no, Akane!" Nabiki hurried to her youngest sister's
room. Akane wasn't there, but there *was* Shampoo sweeping
up what appeared to be some sort of black dust.

Shampoo spotted the pajama clad girl and wiped the scowl
from her face. "Nihao, Na-bi-ki. Shampoo just cleaning up
here. You have good sleep with airen?"

Certain details of certain dreams came back to Nabiki. She
blushed. "Y-yes. We...I slept fine."

There was a snapping noise and Shampoo noted that the
broomstick she had been holding had
somehow broken. "Oops. Shampoo not know how that happen."(1)

Nabiki nodded absently and left the amazon to the cleanup,
wondering briefly at the intensity of the dreams she had
experienced the previous night. She also completely missed
the look Shampoo shot at her.

Ranma passed her on the stairs as he headed for the
kitchen. The sound of Kasumi happily humming was briefly
interrupted by Ranma's request for food.

Nabiki glanced into Kasumi's room and noted that Akane was
sprawled out over a futon and snoring. She wouldn't admit
how relieved that made her feel.

Genma's room had the odor of liquor emanating from it, as
well as the annoying smell of damp panda.

Nabiki shook her head. She'd get the details later. Right
now she had to get ready for school, and it looked like
getting a ride from Ranma would be out of the question for
today.
------------Furinkan SHS----------------
Hikaru Gosunkugi was torn. He could collect a few hair
samples, maybe a piece of wing, and he was sure he could use
the faerie magic to make Akane love him. He knew that they
would then be happy together. Well, maybe.(2)

Instead, there was a problem. It was easy to overhear
conversations when almost everyone ignored your existence.
Such as the conversation between Hisakawa-sensei and certain
others.

He could warn Ranma, and try to get the boy to change to
his yousei form so that he could get those ingredients as
repayment. Alternatively, Gosunkugi could see himself just
waiting for the rescue attempt and then capturing the pixie.

He could see the faerie, and he knew what that meant. He,
Hikaru Gosunkugi, had magic in his blood. That he finally
had some confirmation of what he had always felt to be the
case had done wonders for his self-esteem.

Now if he could just figure out what to do.
-----------Myou No Maru, Tokyo Harbor-------------------
"<Praise all the gods, LAND!>"

Vanilla's red eyes regarded Shammi with her usual lack of
emotion. "<You do realize that we've got to make the same
trip on the way back home?>"

Tiger sniffed the air. "<Eeeeeewww. What IS that smell? How
can people bear to live in such foul conditions?>"

Di Na didn't say anything beyond a mumbled plea for someone
to please stop making the ship move up and down like that.

Observing the amazons with a smirk, Nathan nodded to
Tolkein and sniffed at the freshly brewed coffee in his
hands. "Long shift?"

Tolkein shrugged slightly and continued to study the
waterline. "We managed to do okay last night. Netted more
fish, so we can do the sale. Looks like Lao met up with the
Dutchman last night if the traces were correct, we stayed
clear, of course."

Nathan Brazil nodded again. Those two were considered
"Hazards To Navigation" and did not get along together. They
never actually fought a battle but would get really careless
with their
"warning shots." Being in the immediate vicinity of both
would be bad.

"The amazons mainly slept, I got 'em blankets out of
storage. Tried to figure out the albino. You ever see
anything like her before?"

"Yeah," Nathan sipped at his coffee again. "Last reset was
in 2015. End of the world because of one man's hubris. He
had a clone of his deceased wife running around. She was a
lot like that girl."

"Oh dear," said Tolkein, remembering again *why* it was a
bad idea to ask Nathan these questions. Still his curiosity
was going now. "Now *that* sounds like a story. Coffee?"

"You make it?"

"After the last time Ro made it? Of course!"

"Well all right, then."
---------Tendo-ke, Nerima-----------
"Shampoo is taking the ashes to the harbor to dispose of
them." Kasumi smiled at her sister. "Ranma's out training.
Nabiki wanted to get to school early today. Father and
Mister Saotome are both still asleep today."

Akane nodded. She'd wanted to thank Shampoo. She found
herself with an entirely new appreciation for the Amazon.
The bouncy girl with the kawaii voice that spoke in pidgin
had
proven herself a capable warrior. The two times she had made
an attack it had been with grace and strength. The bokken
had been thrust at a precise angle so that it had missed
Ranma yet had
gone straight through the heart of the vampire.

Each blow had been precise, with no wasted movements. Akane
had reviewed the scene several times in her mind and had
come to one inescapable conclusion. Shampoo would be a MUCH
better friend than an enemy.

Ranma hadn't been bad either. He'd risked his life to
distract the vampire so that Shampoo could strike the
killing blow. Certainly, even with his fast healing, being
hauled up by the neck like that HAD to have hurt. Even
though it *was* his fault for drawing the vampire in the
first place.

Akane brightened. She could show her appreciation for both
of them by making them cookies! From overhearing Shampoo
talking to Kasumi, Akane knew that her home village was a
little on
the primitive side. She'd probably never had homemade
cookies before. As for Ranma, being dragged all over Japan
and China, he probably hadn't had them very often himself.

Akane smiled. Just as soon as she got home from school,
she'd be sure to whip up a couple of batches of cookies.
------------Tokyo Harbor, Dock 47-------------------
Shampoo looked up at the sky. Had that been thunder
rumbling ominously? There was some overcast, but it didn't
look like thunderclouds to her practiced eye.(3)

She finished tapping the ashes into the water below the
pier. Shampoo didn't want to get too much closer to that
water, as the water didn't look that clean to begin with.

Smiling, Shampoo tossed the box into a trash receptacle,
and began her trip back to the Tendo household. She needed
to help Kasumi out, then she could get registered for
school! Many, many, hours spent with her airen, and she
could ask him for help with her homework!

She was so distracted by this vision that she failed to
notice that she was being followed. This was also a
testament to the skill of the tracker.

Di Na grinned. They would find out what was going on, check
on Shampoo's progress, then leave. They'd be back in the
village within the week! Using the special jar, Di Na could
bring the pixie home and Elder Di Mon would have a way to
increase her power beyond that of her rival Cologne!

Tiger, having swapped the "demon catching jar" for a pickle
jar earlier in the journey, wondered exactly what was going
on anyway.
-------------Another rooftop in Nerima-----------------
"So why not just run a quick Snatch job," the thug said as
he straightened his jacket. "Just go in real quick, beat the
snot outta the girl, then throw her in the back of a van and
off we go. Happens alla time." He spoke from experience,
having done this several times in the past year himself.

Isao sighed. He chose to let one of his other associates
talk to the Talent.

"Because, my strong but slow friend," Yotsuya spoke in his
usual smarmy tone. "The girl in question is actually a boy
martial artist of considerable speed and talent with a
shapeshifting curse."

Unari considered that, at least as well as he was able. "I
thought she was some kinda fairy..."

"The girl indeed has both human and faerie
characteristics," Yotsuya agreed. "While your own skills
make you invaluable to our grandfather in the Yakuza, the
girl has...other qualities our associate wishes to study."

Unari nodded. He still didn't understand why they didn't
just run a Snatch but understood that they had a reason for
doing it another way.

Yotsuya watched the big man go off to join the other
low-level thugs. "I'm ashamed to actually have kinship with
such clods."

"You know what they say," Isao remarked. He raised the
binoculars to watch the house. "You can choose your friends,
but you can't choose your... family."

Yotsuya shrugged. That was certainly something the oyabun
might agree with.

Isao grinned. That had given him an idea. "Leave one man
behind to monitor, we've got a couple of errands to run,
boys."
---------A small park, Furinkan ward, Nerima----
Kasumi blinked as they came up to an unremarkable area in
between two old trees. She couldn't see why this place was
special.

"Pardon me, but are you sure about this? Why here?"

"Shampoo thought Big Sister was leading..." Shampoo clapped
a hand over her eyes. Sometimes she thought her new friend
might be lovable but was not entirely there.

"Now, Shampoo, I'm sure Kasumi was following someone ELSE."
Nabiki kept watching the way Kasumi's eyes focussed on some
point that flitted around in midair. While Nabiki couldn't
see the faerie, she knew that everyone here believed in it
at this point. Akane was still sure everyone was just
humoring Ranma, and that it was an imaginary friend.

Featherbrite flicked from one of the girls to the next,
then began the tricky part.

Nabiki drew in a startled breath as sparkling motes of
light shot around all three of them, a technicolor comet
whose tail grew longer as it continued to move.

A circle, Nabiki realized, the tail of the "comet" would
lengthen to the point where the head would catch it in a few
seconds.

Shampoo dropped into a defensive posture, having an
instinctive dislike for being contained - even if it was
merely multicolored sparkles of light that faded out a few
moments
later.

Kasumi merely waited patiently. How nice. A faerie ring.

The comet became a circle then faded. The wind whipped
through the empty area in
Ichi-koo Park.
---------------Somewhere in Furinkan---------------
"<You shall not bar my way!>" Shammi drew her nunchaku.
"<How dare you (a mere male)
interfere with the mission of a member of the Nichieju!>"

"Huh? Hey, speak Japanese!" The boy glared at the oddly
dressed woman. "Better yet,
leave me alone, I'm on a Quest For Vengeance."

"You tell him, Shammi!" Tiger called out in Japanese, then
realized that her companion did
not speak that language. Really, it was so rude to go to
another country and not learn at least some of the native's
language. "<Don't accept him talking back to you like
that!>"

Swinging her nunchaku in a complicated pattern, Shammi
snarled. So he _was_ talking back to her. She'd show him!
She'd show all of them! She was just as good a fighter as
Shampoo.

"<We don't have time for this, Shampoo is getting away!>"
Di Na pointed towards the park. She was sure that they could
catch up with them soon, but if this was going to be a
protracted fight...

"Look, whoever you are, I don't fight girls. So just go
away nicely, will you?" Ryouga tried not to show how miffed
he was at having some girl slam into him with enough force
to bowl him over.

"<Hey, he just said that he didn't consider you a worthy
opponent?!>" Tiger wasn't completely sure, the boy had
spoken too quickly, but that was what it had sounded like...

Shammi began to glow a fitful blue. "<You... YOU...YOU
DARE!!!>" This was hitting her right where it hurt. She knew
others considered her skills to be less than stellar, and it
rankled. "DIE!"

Ryouga took a step back. "Uh oh."
========================================
(1) Anyone believe this? Nah, I didn't think so.

(2) Gosunkugi is mean, petty, spiteful, cowardly, and has no
sense of honor. His preferred method of attack involves the
victim being unaware of his presence or incapacitated. That
does not mean he can't be salvaged, just that it would
require some work.

(3) A village of warrior/farmers in a mountain region. As i
understand it, the Bayankala range is mainly rocky mountains
with little in the way of topsoil and vegetation. In some
ways this could be similar to the area near Canyon du
Chelly. Flash floods are likely. Weather sense becomes a
survival trait.

-------------Faerie Realm, Outer Wanders----------
Shampoo and Nabiki stared at the glowing winged shape of
Featherbrite who was laughing as she sat on Kasumi's
shoulder and pointed out a trail off to the side.

"So..." Nabiki managed as she looked around. "Where exactly
are we? And how come we can see you now?" Nabiki noted that
Kasumi was her usual unflappable self, while she had her
"Ice Queen" persona on. Shampoo, on the other hand, looked
like she had gone into defensive mode and was hanging nearer
the eldest Tendo. Interesting.

"This is the Faerie Realm, Nabiki, even if it IS one of the
outlying regions. Naturally you can see me here, as that you
can't in your mortal realm because of the restrictions laid
upon faerie interaction with that world." Featherbrite
shrugged. She didn't know much beyond that, it simply WAS,
and faerie generally didn't question such things. That which
was, was, that was the faerie view.

Shampoo tore her eyes away from the little figure to take
in some of the odd sights around her. A grassy plain, with a
number of trees. A four winged bird hovered briefly far
above before proving it was a predator by making a dive at
something off in the grass to her right. "Where we go?"

Nabiki noted that the plants weren't varieties she was
familiar with. She started collecting samples as
surreptiously as she could, sure that the Botany Club would
pay through the nose for these.

"A friend of mine is not too far off," Featherbrite
answered. "We're getting supplies for the celebration of
your victory over the vampire."

"Free?" Nabiki asked hopefully. She wasn't sure she wanted
to know what kind of currency was used here. Maybe a free
lunch was too much to hope for.
-------Near Ichi-koo Park, Furinkan Ward----------
Shammi charged and brought her nunchaku into a sweeping
double strike that should have caught the boy on both sides
of the head.

Ryouga blocked both. "HEY! Knock it off!"

Tiger flipped through her translation book. "Knock? <Ah, to
strike a light blow! He's threatening to fight you!>"

"<Tell him that he's already fighting me!>" Shammi whipped
the nunchaku back and produced a broom out of nowhere.

Ryouga almost laughed until Shammi started using bo staff
manuevers with it. "HEY!"

"He is tougher than he appears," Vanilla raised an eyebrow
without any other outward show of emotion.

"Oh, to heck with it." Ryouga lashed out, grabbing the
broom and flinging it off to the side. "Now what are you
going to do...uh oh."

Shammi pulled out a set of Ginsu knives. "<Very well, male,
you have earned enough of my respect that now I shall use my
ultimate attack, the Sashimi Sendoff! Pray to your ancestors
that you...>"

At that moment the broom returned at high speed, having
been accidently flipped in a manner that he had been
practicing with his umbrella. Eventually he might be able to
throw his umbrella and have it return to his hand should he
miss. He still tended to be a little off on the return. That
it worked with a broom was not something that he'd have
expected anyway.

The broom struck Shammi right between the eyes, and she
dropped without a sound.
-------------Holly's Wood, Faerie Realm------
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Shampoo watched a laughing reunion
between a four foot tall wood nymph
and a six inch tall pixie. Kasumi was amused. Nabiki and
Shampoo were...startled by seeing a naked woman with green
hair and skin the color of birch bark.

"Shampoo not going to ask."

Nabiki almost asked what Shampoo was talking about, but
decided she'd rather not know.

"But of course, Bri'te! I have plenty of such things
available to me, but what are you
giving me in return?" Holly arched an eyebrow, knowing that
the pixie wouldn't give up that male
changeling of hers, but she felt she should be polite and at
least make the try.

"You can't have Ranma," Featherbrite folded her arms and
huffed as well as she could
considering her stature. "These three are also under my
protection and are only here to help me
carry stuff back."

Nabiki and Shampoo instinctively moved a little closer to
Kasumi. All three noted that Holly was interested in Ranma,
but apparently couldn't have it. All three came to the
conclusion that less competition was a good thing.

"No doubt," Holly nodded. She saw her opportunity for a
little mischief and excitement.
"So, if I make a request..."

Featherbrite groaned, she had a feeling the bargaining on
this was going to be a problem...
-------------------Ichi-koo Park, Nerima------
Ryouga ran. He didn't care where, at present. Just as long
as it was AWAY.

"Wo ai ni! Wo da airen!" Shammi bounced along behind
Ryouga, using a number of phrases she remembered from
watching a similar scene in a cartoon years ago. "Wait,
bay-bee, wait for your lil' Shammi!"

"AAAAAaaaaaaaaa!" Ryouga went THROUGH a set of stacked
construction drainpipes, leaving a little trail of dust in
the air behind him as he attempted to break the sound
barrier.

Vanilla noted that Shammi was making progress in what
looked like a lazy bouncing gait,
where Ryouga was running flat out and destroying obstacles
in his way. Shammi was somehow managing to close the
distance with Ryouga despite the apparent differences in
their velocity. Interesting.

"I am coming for you, my little studmuffin!" Shammi was
pleased. That cartoon turned out to be an accurate summation
of Japanese mating practices. Strange, but "when in Rome..."

"I am NOT your studmuffin!" Ryouga went through a wall,
the backyard of some old man who was busy with bonsai, and
out the front gate. Stopping when he saw that Shammi had
gotten there first.

Shammi looked up, having used her Martial Arts Housekeeping
skills to produce a cafe table, two chairs, two glasses, a
nice (but not pretentious) bottle of red wine, and a loaf of
french (of course) bread. "Ah, a jug of wine, a loaf of
bread, .... and me?"

Ryouga screamed, turned, and fled. In that order. It had to
be a trick. There was a pretty girl interested in him. It
just HAD to be a trick.

By then, he'd managed to pique Shammi's interest.
--------------Faerie Realm, Holly's Wood---------
"WHAT?!" Nabiki blinked as she listened to the offer. She
wondered what all this had to do with party supplies. "No!
Absolutely not! I am NOT the one that hates boys! You want
Akane!"

"Nabiki!" Kasumi managed to sound both startled and
disapproving at the same time.

"Oh, well then, maybe someone else?"

"Shampoo not think so."

"Oh my. No. No, definitely not."

Featherbrite understood that this was the opening salvo of
negotiations that could easily
take a mortal decade. "Holly, my dear old friend, could we
'cut to the chase scene' as mortals say? What is it that you
REALLY want?"

Holly blinked and began to slowly smile. "Well, since you
put it THAT way."

"Shampoo no like that smile," the Amazon whispered to
Kasumi. "Dryad not strike me as bad sort, but not Shampoo's
type."

Kasumi nodded. She quite agreed. Nabiki noted the opinions
and had also figured out this was just the opening salvo of
negotiations. The wood nymph was throwing out requests that
she knew would be refused.

"I want," Holly said brightly, "a changeling of my own!"

"Sorry, they're not THAT common, y'know."

"Oh," Holly mused. "Don't know anyone who was abused as a
child who could use a long period of healing in the Faerie
Realm?"

Nabiki stepped forward. "Excuse me, but I happen to know
someone who fits the bill, but you're gonna have to get his
agreement to come here."

"Really?!" Holly brightened by three degrees. Just the
thing to put off the tedium and refresh the spirit. "He? You
distinctly used the male pronoun. Where is he?"

Nabiki smirked. "I'll give you the details, but... there's
something I want thrown into the deal." That the dryad
wanted this so badly proved that Nabiki would be the
superior negotiator here.

"Oh dear," said Shampoo and Kasumi in an eerie unison.
---------------Tendo-ke, Nerima-----------------
A few hours later, Shampoo, Kasumi, and Nabiki (the last
whistling cheerfully) were walking in with large bulging
satchels. Nabiki was clutching one in particular close to
herself.

"Akane, have you been cooking?" Nabiki sniffed the air and
immediately wished that she hadn't.

Kasumi rushed into the kitchen. "Aiyah!"

Shampoo and Nabiki both blinked at the odd exclamation,
well at least it was odd coming from Kasumi. It was
sufficient for them to find the disaster area that had once
been a kitchen.

Blackened pots that would require the use of sandblasting
to restore them to anywhere near
their original condition were lying about the kitchen. Small
unidentifiable lumps of multicolored material were spattered
over a number of the surfaces. The microwave that had quite
obviously been used to heat up one of the heirloom serving
dishes that had once contained metal foil in the print
design.

Everywhere one looked, the sign of some great natural
disaster had occurred. The eye tended to jumble them all
together rather than catalog each and every one of them,
there were so many.

Shampoo came up behind Kasumi and gave her "big sister" a
squeeze on the shoulder.

Nabiki looked at what Kasumi was holding in her hands.
"Say, isn't that Mother's..."

Kasumi lay the shattered pieces of the large mixing bowl
carefully in the trash, taking
a moment to point out to her new "little sister" the kanji
on the bottom that read "Tendo."

"Oh, Kasumi's mother make bowl? Oh. Maybe Ranma can fix?"

Kasumi's head snapped up. There was hope after all. Maybe
that trick of Ranma's...

"Oh, Shampoo!" Akane breezed in, apparently not noticing
the wreckage. "I made you
some cookies! To thank you for saving me!"

Shampoo idly noted Kasumi and Nabiki were backing off and
wondered what that meant.

"Cookies?" Shampoo turned her gaze to the plate of odd
things sitting on the plate that Akane held up. "Is food?"
It didn't LOOK like food.

Akane nodded with a little sound of agreement. "Yes, it
took me a really long time to make them. Try one, they're
good!"

Shampoo wondered what the panicked looks she was getting
from her big sister meant. Certainly she didn't want to
insult Kasumi's little sister by refusing some odd cultural
dish. Shampoo plucked one up and made a show of popping it
into her mouth.

"Oh no," Nabiki managed.

"Oh, Shampoo, we hardly knew you..."

"HEY!" Akane managed to glare and look hurt at the same
time. "Shampoo likes them, I bet. Don't you, Shampoo?
Shampoo?" Why was the Amazon turning purple?

"I'll call Doctor Tofu," Nabiki ran for the phone as
Shampoo crumpled to the floor.

"Why is she doing that? They can't be THAT bad!"
----------------------------------------
By the next morning, Shampoo had recovered from her NDE
(Near Death Experience). Thanking her mother for her Amazon
constitution and powers of recovery, Shampoo decided to
avoid the youngest Tendo daughter rather than tempt fate.
After all, she might make something else as an apology.

Akane wasn't quite sure why her sugar cookies had THAT sort
of reaction. After all, they
couldn't be too bland after she added the tabasco and
blackstrap molasses. She was hoping that the oregano was
counterbalanced by the subtle mango flavoring she'd added,
and it had turned out this nice purple color that had
matched Shampoo's hair...

But then, so had Shampoo until Doctor Tofu arrived with
Mister Stomach Pump.

As for the next day, nothing much really occurred. Nabiki
spent quite a bit of time with
her new reading material. (Symple Spellcraft For The
Apprentice, Divinations & Protective Magicks)

Ranma had a long talk with his imaginary friend, which made
Akane wonder if she was the only sane person in the
household.

Ryouga managed to get lost, while Shammi considered this
level of resistance to possibly mean that: a) he wasn't
interested in girls, or b) he was already married. Ryouga
continued to wander while Shammi continued to track him.
Tiger continued to follow Shammi, as she felt that this
particular soap opera was of more interest than a quick
return to the village.

Vanilla and Di Na went on to find the Tendo residence and
Shampoo. Di Na wondered why her magic jar had "Vlasic
Pickles" written on it, and seemed not to be working. She
wondered about
this for an entire ten seconds before starting off on a
tirade about little girls messing with their betters.

Vanilla calmly and quietly interviewed one of the household
who was out jogging in the morning, reasoning that since the
girl in question seemed to be something of a warrior
(judging by the punches and kicks she threw while jogging)
that she'd be the most calm and reasoned member of the
family.

Vanilla was quite surprised to be attacked, and was still
trying to find a better translation dictionary as the one
she had was quite obviously flawed.

Akane woke up shortly thereafter, knowing that with those
red eyes and pale skin, that she was being hunted by yet
another vampire. How this one managed to survive being out
on a sunlit day, she had no idea, but she would be ready
THIS time.

Everyone else tended to avoid Akane's room due to the large
amount of garlic hanging from all available surfaces.
-------------------Tendo-ke, Nerima--------------
Three days after the vampire attack, Genma and Soun
exchanged a glance with raised eyebrows. Their plan had gone
a little off track, but was otherwise still deemed viable.

One keg of sake sat at their end of the table. It was
holding up quite well, as the two had merely been sipping
for most of the night.

There had been some reluctance from the various others,
which had gradually eroded. Between Shampoo and Kasumi,
there had been considerable amounts of food made, which had
required something to wash it down with.

Kasumi had been sipping at some warm sake, but was now
spending a lot of time with a little smile on her face and
staring at some point in midair.

Nabiki had protested at first but was currently flushed and
had loosened her top as if she
were quite warm. She was also leaning against Ranma in what
Genma viewed as a promising manner.

Akane had passed out, which had disappointed Soun
considerably. He still had considerable hopes on Akane as
backup if the Ranma + Nabiki attempt failed.

Shampoo was refilling cups again, and looked like she would
be joining Akane in slumberland at any moment.

"Well, Saotome," Soun said to his longtime friend. "I think
we probably ought to go
check out that new bar, don't you?"

"Quite right, Tendo." Genma smirked. "We probably won't be
back until morning."

"Karaoke?" Nabiki's eyes tried to focus on her father. She
hadn't drunk THAT much, why
was her head so fuzzy? She felt her body relax itself
against Ranma. She felt SO warm. So relaxed, so... naughty.

Featherbrite watched all this with some satisfaction, now
if the fathers would just get out of the way, she could get
on with her main task. Neither could see her, but if she
started weaving magic there was no telling what would
happen.

Ranma excused himself, gently moved Akane and Nabiki off of
him, and made his way to the toilet.

Soun noted the way Ranma wobbled and smiled. Everything was
going as planned.

"Aiyaaa, Shampoo need to get something to eat. Not used to
drinking this much..." Shampoo
realized that maybe she should take a nap first.

Genma waved his friend into the back yard where they could
have a more private conversation.

"The drugged sake is working," Genma whispered to Soun.

"We'll leave briefly, come back when they've all passed
out. If we put Nabiki and Ranma to bed, surely the boy's
shyness will be overwhelmed." Soun nodded. If nothing else,
he knew Nabiki. If Nabiki wanted something, she wouldn't
hesitate to go after it. At least she didn't go around
finding things and signing her name on them to indicate they
were HERS. Keeping her away from magic markers had been a
problem that year.

"Then, with grandchildren on the way, they'll HAVE to be
married, and our plan to train the grandchild as the
Anything Goes Heir will be assured."

Back in the house, Featherbrite was weaving and shaping the
spell energies as she'd planned. It was really too bad that
Ranma had kept her from adding all those wonderful little
additives. If she could have done that, Featherbrite saw no
reason that Ranma couldn't have married the whole group and
taken them as lifemates. Why if it was good enough for that
overweight Sultan, then it was good enough for her friend
Ranma!

Though with the barely suppressed libido she saw in that
Kasumi, (no wonder she didn't notice a lot of what was going
on around her, the mental effort of suppressing THAT must be
enormous) Featherbrite thought it likely that Ranma would be
too exhausted to be coherent for quite some time.

What a pity that Featherbrite hadn't been able to sneak any
of that in. Featherbrite sighed as the unfairness of not
taking advantage of this situation hit her, it would
certainly have cut some of the tension level down.
-----Bar District, Nerima--------
Genma came to a stop as a shape appeared out of nowhere
before him. The shock cleared most of the sake-induced haze
from his mind. Soun was already on his way back, Genma would
join him at the torii, then they'd ensure the Tendo-Saotome
Alliance!

"Mister Saotome, I have a business proposition for you."
The man lit a cigarette and placed his back against a
lightpost, calmly gazing at the martial artist in front of
him.

"Business? I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's quite simple, Mister Saotome. Your son is a minor,
under YOUR authority. I represent a group of people who
are...interested in some of the properties of that cursed
form of his."

"So what's that got to do with me?" Genma tried to clear
the rest of the haze from his mind. He had the feeling that
this was something important. He was also aware of others
surrounding him. This many, while he was impaired by the
alcohol, might be more than he could handle.

"I have here a contract, Mister Saotome. You sign your son
over to us, assist in his capture, and you get a
considerable sum of money. In addition, we'll assist you
with some of the costs involved in child raising as this is
something else we're quite...interested in seeing."

"I don't know, the boy's my only heir, I..."

Isao smirked at the man before him. "We're not that
Hisakawa person. Ranma is worth FAR more to us alive and
unharmed than vivisected. We want to do this legally,
however, at least as much as possible."

"Hisakawa?" Genma couldn't remember the name. Taking the
contract he scanned over the first page but was having
trouble focussing on the packed text. It looked okay, he'd
sign over his parental rights to Ranma for the next two
years, and he'd get...

Genma looked up at the businessman before him and licked
suddenly dry lips. "Is this...accurate?"

"Yes," Isao said with a nod. His eyes never left Genma's
own gaze. "Two million now, plus we assist in the
childbearing and childrearing costs, even throw in something
for the happy couple when they marry in two years."

Genma blinked. "Do you have a pen?"
=======================================

-- OMAKEOMAKEOMAKEOMAKE

scene cut from "Source Of Pride" - this will make absolutely
no sense if you haven't read "Source of Pride"

The announcer wasn't sure what was going on. It was a
martial arts match, but what the heck was it with the
cameras and the size of the crowd? Oh well, he'd read his
lines and maybe it had a clue.

"Kolkhoz Senior High School Versus... Furinken?" The
announcer paused. That sounded familiar. "The battle for
love and honor is to begin!" Hmmm. Probably someone else
offended by Mikado or Azusa. Nothing unusual. "The
undefeated Golden Pair of Martial Arts Figureskating. Mikado
Sanzennin and Azusa Shiratori!"

The two glided in on their skates, getting the usual cheers
from their crowd. They soaked it up, as their due from the
peasantry.

A small group emerged from the other side of the ring, one
figure detaching itself to glide to near the announcer's
table.

The announcer blinked. Fur? A tail?!

"Excuse me, please. There seems to be some dispute as to
who will be my partner in this little duel." The furry
figure smiled pleasantly, though the announcer noticed
fangs.

Eyes widening, the announcer went to the next page. Could
it be? It WAS! Well, that explained the satellite trucks and
television crews.

There was a loud thud followed by Shampoo making her way to
Ranma's side.

"And in this corner. The star of the sentai series
HyperNinjaPoliceAmazon Team Lionfist. The foremost victim of
the Demon Dad. Multiply decorated hero of the Japanese
people." The announcer's eyes glanced up to see the gentle
werecheetah Amazon Healer buddying around with the Emperor
on one of the display screens. Oh dear. "Er, Ranma Saotome."

The cheering for the Golden Pair had been loud. The noise
level that erupted was enough to knock the Golden Pair off
their feet. It echoed from the plaza outside, it echoed from
hundreds of thousands of pay-per-view televisions in Japan,
it was sufficient to cause 747s in flight to complain about
the noise level. It went beyond sound and became a physical
presence until Ranma held his arms up for silence.

"And this is one of my costars," Ranma shoved Shampoo a
little forward, anxious to give someone else her share of
personal glory. "Shampoo, Champion of the Nichieju, and my
sister. The Purple HyperNinja."

"NI HAO!" Another roar. A lot of guys seemed to prefer
Shampoo over Azusa for some reason. Pictures of Shampoo
wearing the skintight purple sentai costume were held up.

Shampoo bounced and clapped and waved at her fans. "Ni
hao!"

The announcer pulled his hands away from his ears. "Oh
kay. This match is... he didn't, did he? Oh dear."

"YES! I DID IT!" Mikado pulled a microphone out. "IT'S NOT
FAIR! I want my own sentai series and action figures and
nationwide fanclubs! I want thousands of girls wearing MY
face on their T-shirts! THAT SHOULD BE ME!"

Shampoo glared briefly at Mikado, then went into "sweetness
and light" mode. "Is true, Mikado do very very bad thing. He
try steal Akane Tendo's lips. When she fight him off, he try
steal Ukyou Kuonji's lips, he try steal friend Makoto's
lips, he very very persistent. Then, at rink, he try to stop
Shampoo from skating past him, he grab Shampoo's shirt. HE
RIP SHIRT RIGHT OFF OF SHAMPOO!"

Muttered grumbles from the Shampoo Fan Club.

"Shampoo wanted to give Kiss Of Death, but that not allowed
here. While trying to think of what to do, HE TOUCH
SHAMPOO!"

The Shampoo Fan Club seemed to have a few new sounds coming
for it, eerily similar to knives being run over whetstones.

"Well, it's not like you've never been touched before,"
Mikado smirked. "Admit it, you welcomed my touch."

It went to dead silence in skating rink and the temperature
seemed to plummet even further.

"Ah, well, er," the announcer began then realized that the
Black HyperNinja and Blue HyperNinja had also been
targetted by Mikado. That meant... Mikado was dead.

"Shirt was given Shampoo by Emperor of Japan when brother
Ranma visit. It ruined!" Shampoo sniffled slightly, which
had the intended effect.

If looks could kill, Mikado would have burst into flames a
hundred times over.

"Well, uhm, I guess you need to get to your corners and
begin." The announcer swallowed nervously and reached for a
bottle of Tums.

The bell rang, the two pair slowly started towards each
other.

"Use the Breaking Point!" One of Shampoo's fans called out.

"Use your Sonic Punch!"

"Grand Lightning Kick!"

"Crotch Rocket!"

"Summon the giant robot!"

"They don't have one of those, dummy!"

Genma smiled as she snuck closer. No one would notice just
one more old woman moving closer to the battle. Then, having
captured Ranma and holding him hostage, Genma would get a
chance to explain HER, er, HIS side of the whole thing. AND
they'd maybe get somebody better looking to play the evil
Father Demon on that damn series.

Ranma started forward, holding his sister's hand and
concentrating on the battle. His wereform had superior
balance, and that was all that was keeping him up. Shampoo
needed support just to remain upright.

Azusa attacked, causing the two to seperate. Mikado swept
in for his famous "kiss attack."

Shampoo responded by flipping him over and kneeing him in
the groin during the manuever. Only Mikado's wearing of a
cup managed to keep him from permanent injury.

Mikado flipped around, managing to land. Unfortunately it
was on Akane.

"Shampoo, tag!" Akane recovered slowly from her involuntary
kiss.

Shampoo tagged, sat back, and watched Akane go after
Mikado.

"HAH! That's one down!" Mikado skated out of Akane's reach
and grinned. "I won't rest until urk!"

Akane followed the kick up with a series of punches to his
midsection.

Music started to play, and it became obvious that Azusa
would no longer be a problem. She had thought Ukyou's
spatula was cute. Ukyou had gotten the two acquainted.

Ranma posed, and behind him the other members of the
sentai team posed as well. "Mikado Sanzennin, for your
crimes against good taste."

"YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED!" The crowd roared again. They'd
seen this in at least a dozen episodes.

Mikado, silver plated skates or not, lasted exactly 1.175
seconds after that.

-----------------------------
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/

"Chinese Amazons, powerarmor, energy blades, some things
just are meant to be."
-Shampoo, A Very Scary Bet

ja ne,
gregg