[Ranma][Fanfic] The War of the Ranmas - Part 1 of unknown number
Jack Staik
Disclaimer: Anyone who doesn't know that Takahashi-san is the creator
of Ranma - catch them quick! They're ALIENS!!
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Ranma 1/2: War of the Ranmas
By Jack Staik, Bookkeeper-At-Arms
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Everyone in Nerima was on edge. The tension was thick enough to cut
with a knife. In all eyes was the spectre of dread.
Then an explosion echoed off the buildings, rattling the windows. From
a construction site, the sounds of combat were heard.
Everyone relaxed, now that things were back to normal.
* * * * *
"You've got to be kidding!" Akane said.
"No! Really!" Suki replied enthusiastically. "Miyume told Asake who
told Kira who told Nioyme who told-"
Before the teenage gossip could get too far, the explosion shocked
them into silence.. Then the sounds of battle-cries and blows being
struck - and a familiar voice.
"RANMA!!" Akane cried out. Dropping her books, she raced over to the
cconstruction site. <He's gotten himself into trouble again!> she
thjought angrily. <One of these days he'll really get hurt - not that
I care, of course.> she lied to herself.
Hopping the fence, she spotted Ranma easily enough. His shirt was torn
slightly, and he was bleeding from a scalp wound.
<BLEEDING?!?> Akane wondered, <This must be serious! Not even Ryoga's
made him bleed more than once or twice!>
Ranma looked carefully around a corner, seeking his opponent. He
tensed, expecting an attack.
He wasn't dissapointed.
"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!!"
The wall behind him exploded outward, hurling Ranma across the
construction site, through the fence, and into the ice-cream parlor
across the street.
"OH NO! RANMA!" Akane cried out. She turned to the exploded wall, to
face -
-Ranma.
Or, more accurately, Ranma-chan, stepping through the hole in the
wall. Ignoring Akane, the redhead grabbed a sledgehammer and ran
through the hole in the fence, yelling an incoherent battle-cry.
The pig-tailed girl jumped through the shattered window and charged
the dazed pig-tailed boy.
"DIE YOU BASTARD!!" she screamed, swinging the hammer down at his
head.
"NOOO!!!" Akane screamed in horror.
Ranma-chan froze and turned. "Akane?" she said, surprised.
"MOKO TAKABISHA!!" The ki-bolt slammed into Ranma-chan, blowing her
back across the street and knocking the sledgehammer out of her hands.
Akane looked at the dazed female figure on the ground. Red hair in a
braided pig-tail, blue-green eyes, cute face, impressively busty,
short - definitely Ranma-chan.
She then looked at the slightly-dazed male figure staggering out of
the wrecked ice-cream parlor. Black hair in a braided pig-tail, blue
eyes, cute-handsome face, athlete's build - definitely Ranma.
"What the hells is going on here?!?" Akane demanded.
"Not now, tomboy!" Ranma snapped. Picking up the sledgehammer, he went
over to the prone form of Ranma-chan. Raising the sledgehammer over
his head, he yelled out, "DIE YOU BITCH!!"
"RANMA!! STOP!!" Akane cried out horrified.
Ranma turned towards Akane, distracted.
"MOKO TAKABISHA!!" The ki-bolt slammed into Ranma, blowing him into
the air and into the apartment above the ice-cream parlor.
Ranma-chan stumbled to her feet. "Thanks for the save, tomboy." she
said cockily. "Not that I needed it of course." she added hastily.
Akane was throughly confused. "Will someone please tell me WHAT IS
GOING ON HERE?!?"
"Later. I gotta kill that bastard before he wakes up."
WHAM!!
Akane pried the Mallet Of Doom from Ranma-chan's head, now imbedded in
the pavement. A muffled voice could be heard, "You are so uncute -
uhhhh..."
Ranma stumbled out of the buliding (again), and weaved and swayed over
to Akane. "I knew she couldn't stop a macho chick like you, tomboy-"
WHAM!!
Folding up and collapsing, Ranma managed to mumble "You are so
uncute..." before falling uinconscious.
Akane looked at the two out-cold figures at her feet. How could she
get these two home? For that matter, which one was Ranma? They both
acted like Ranma - they sounded like Ranma.
Except that Ranma didn't kill - and these two seened eager to kill
each other.
<Oh if only Doctor Tofu's clinic was still open,> she lamented to
herself. But the clinic had been closed ever since the doctor was
committed after being caught by his receptionist wearing a Kasumi
costume and performing unnatural acts with Betty-chan.
Her so-called friends had fled - which left her without help, which
put her on yet another slow burn. Grumbling to herself, she hefted the
two limp forms onto her shoulders and proceeded to stagger toward
Ucchan's (which was closer than the dojo).
* * * * *
Ukyo had heard the explosion, and figured that someone was blowing the
crap out of someone else. Perhaps that Nuku-Nuku girl - she and her
brother came in sometimes for okonomiyaki - or that nice Kitsune girl
and the Black Fox ninja clan were at it again.
It could even be Ranma, but the blast sounded more like regular
explosives, not a ki-blast or a breaking-point attack. (After living
in Nerima a while, the various kinds of explosion could be readily
distinguished from each other by a bystander, based on sound,
propagation of debris, or odor of the blast site. Many of Japan's most
noted forensic investigators come from Nerima.)
After a few minutes, Akane came to the front door, two bodies over her
shoulders in a fireman's carry. The build on one was easily recognized
by the chef.
"Ranchan!" she cried, helping Akane lay him in the booth. "What
happened? Who did this?"
"I did." Akane said.
"I knew it!" Ukyo snapped. "You had one of your damn tantrums and beat
him again, didn't you?"
"I don't have tantrums!" Akane yelled. "And there was a very good
reason for it!"
"What? Someone else looked at a girl so you blamed Ranma? A leaf fall
in the park?"
"THIS is what!" Akane replied, laying Ranma-chan in the other side of
the booth.
"Huh?" Ukyo looked confusedly at the two Ranmas - boy and girl. "Which
one is our Ranma?"
"I don't know. They both used Ranma's Moko Takabisha, and they both
talked like Ranma - they *both* called me an uncute tomboy! But they
were trying to kill each other - really kill - and Ranma wouldn't do
that."
Ukyo looked thoughtful. "Well, why not splash them? Ranma changes, we
got the fake cold."
"Yeah - and if we splash the wrong one, the fake kills Ranma before we
can stop him - or her!"
"Good point. Hmmm..."
"I know!" Akane exclaimed. "We'll tie them up, then splash both!"
"Great! I've got some rope in my bedroom!"
Akane glanced over at Ukyo.
"It's not my rope! It's Tsubasa's!"
Akane stared at Ukyo.
"He left it here by accident!"
"Uh-huh," Akane said non-commitally.
As Ukyo went up to her room, Akane had a brief mental image, which she
promptly chased out of her head.
Trussing up the Ranmas didn't take too long - Ukyo seemed to have a
knack for getting rope on an unconscious form. The, with the kettles
of just-hot-enough water, the two girls splashed the two bound figures
simultaneously.
The two Ranmas sat up. "What'd ya do THAT for!?!?!" they yelled
together. Then they started to struggle against their bonds.
Neither one had changed.
* * * * *
To Be Continued