[Ranma/SM][FanFic] Sailor Ranko Just Add Water, Chapter 13
Bill Heineman
The ongoing saga of "Sailor Ranko", set after "Sailor Ranko: Tunnel Vision"
Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Fire and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D.
Hammel and acknowledging "Black Moon - Eclipse of the Sun" by Arthur Hansen
By Bill Heineman
I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or eat my brain.
My head is empty enough as it is.
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Pantyhose Taro returned to his tent after flying around Nerima in a vain
attempt to find Happosai. His immense body landed with a grace that hid the
awesome strength that his cursed form possessed. He reached into his tent
and pulled out a thermos and transformed back into human form. He noticed a
piece of paper pinned to the door flap of his tent.
Dear Taro,
Rejoice my boy! I await you at the Juuban High School Gymnasium. I have
chosen a new name for you that is worthy of a warrior of your stature. Meet
me outside the gym after school gets out.
Your godfather,
Happosai
Taro was very suspicious. Happosai had never written down the proposed name
for his approval. He knew Happosai's idea of a great name didn't mesh with
reality. He crushed the paper and walked to the koi pond in the backyard.
Pantyhose walked by Kasumi as she was taking down the laundry. "Hello Taro.
It's nice to see you again. Would you like some tea?"
Pantyhose was thirsty. The letter mentioned that he was to meet after school
and school was to be let out in about an hour. He had some time to kill.
"Yes, I would like that. Do you also have something to eat?"
"Of course. Please come in." Kasumi led Taro into the dining room and
gestured for him to sit down. She went to the kitchen to prepare him a small
snack.
Taro took a look around. "You have a nice home."
"Thank you." Kasumi poured the tea and put some cookies on a plate. She
placed the serving tray on the table. "Will you be staying long?"
Taro ate a cookie. It had been so long since he had had one. He enjoyed the
flavor. "Mmm... This tastes good. I got a note from Happosai. I'll be
leaving shortly."
Kasumi froze. "Happosai?"
"Yes. I'm meeting him at..." He fumbled for the paper and uncrushed it. "The
Juuban High School Gymnasium. Could I trouble you for a map to this place?"
Kasumi grew very pale. "J-J-Juuban High School?"
"Yes. I'm supposed to meet him there after school."
Kasumi grew faint, "Oh my! I've g-g-got to go." She got up and bolted from
the room. Ryoga and Akari were in the living room and saw Kasumi's blur run
by into the upstairs bathroom. She slammed the door shut.
Pantyhose Taro shrugged, "I guess she really had to go." He sniffed the
cookie. "I wonder if she ate Akane's cooking."
Kasumi locked the bathroom door. She pulled out the communicator. She dialed
Akane's number and heard the beep and then a voicemail came on, "You've
reached the voice mailbox of Sailor Io. Please leave a message."
"Uh Aka... Sailor Io, it's Kasumi. Taro is going to meet Happosai at the
Juuban High School Gymnasium after school. Make sure you and the other
Scouts are there." She killed the signal.
She dialed another number. "You've reached the voice mailbox of Sailor Sun.
This had better be important! Have a nice day." Kasumi felt sad at hearing
Sailor Sun's cocky voice. Kasumi repeated her message. She called each of
the five inner scouts and left the same message. She didn't know their real
names, only their scout names. They had to be in class at the moment and
kept their communicators in silent mode. She hoped that someone would return
her call soon.
Kasumi picked up the phone in the bathroom next to the furo. Akane had told
her that if Happosai was found that she wanted Ukyou and Konatsu to assist
since Konatsu's ninja abilities might be useful to track down Happosai once
he tried to disappear again. Akane wasn't taking any chances. She wanted
Ranma back the way he was.
Konatsu answered the phone in a cute girlish voice, "Ucchan's Okonomiyaki."
"Konatsu, this is Kasumi. Akane told me to ask you to help her catch
Happosai. We heard that he's going to be at the Juuban High School Gym after
school today. Can you and Ukyou meet Akane there?"
Konatsu stood at attention. "Of course. You can count on us." He hung up the
phone and with lightning speed; he locked up the restaurant and ran to
Furinkan High School to grab Ukyou. They had a great distance to travel in
record time.
She went back downstairs and heard an argument. She rushed to the living
room and saw Ryoga and Taro were ready to start fighting.
Taro shouted, "You will not touch Happosai until after he gives me my new
name!"
Ryoga got very close to Taro, "I'm going to kill that little pervert!"
Taro flared a battle aura, "Over my dead body!"
Ryoga rolled up his sleeve, "That would be me my pleasure!"
Taro threw a punch which Ryoga dodged and caused Akari to jump back in
surprise. Taro punched with his other arm and threw Ryoga across the room
into the TV.
Taro realized the time and grabbed a phone book that was sitting next to the
telephone. He ran outside.
Ryoga pulled himself away from the TV. He saw Akari on the ground shivering.
"Don't worry dear." He got up to track down Taro. Kasumi hopped into the
kitchen to avoid being run over by a very pissed Ryoga.
Outside, Taro quickly ran to the koi pond, jumped in and took to the sky.
Ryoga took a stand and aimed into the air, "SHI-SHI-HOKODAN!" The blast hit
Taro's rump and pushed him higher into the wild blue yonder. Taro shot a
look back and wanted to dive bomb Ryoga for that attack. He decided that his
new name was more important. He opened the phone book and looked at the map
of Tokyo contained within. He found the area of Juuban and turned south to
find the high school.
Ryoga was fuming. He pointed his finger and hit a concrete stepping stone.
"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" The stone shattered into a cloud of pebbles. He stormed
into the house, past Kasumi and to the closet by the doorway. He pulled out
his backpack and umbrella. He switched to a fresh bandanna and psyched
himself up for battle. "Akari, let's go to Juuban and get you cured."
Akari was bouncing with glee. They went to the front yard and called
Katsunishiki. They got on the pig's back and Ryoga started traveling south.
He was going in the right direction. He had to cure his wife.
Soun and Genma came out of the dojo. They were sparring when they heard the
racket. Soun saw the broken stone and went to the house, "Kasumi, what
happened?"
"Oh, father, Happosai is going to be at the Juuban High School Gymnasium
after school today."
Genma and Soun looked at each other. "Let's go!"
Nodoka stepped out of the laundry room; "I'm coming to Juuban with you!" She
held her wrapped katana tightly and had a face of someone who wanted to
administer some pain.
Genma and Soun took a step back. When they spoke, they meant that they
wanted to go as far away as possible from Happosai.
Kasumi took off her apron, "I know where the cab stop is. Besides," she
pulled out some grocery money that Nabiki had given her. "I think I'm the
who has to pay the fare."
Soun and Genma made sheepish grins and looked nowhere in particular. They
thought it was time for another training journey. They knew that Kasumi and
Nodoka were going to make sure that they went to Juuban. They were doomed.
========================================
Akane felt her communicator vibrate. She was in the middle of a history test
and couldn't be disturbed. The alarm code wasn't sent so it didn't vibrate
in a way that would have had her make any excuse to leave the class. She
would wait until the test was over before she would listen to her message.
Ranma and Usagi came to the same conclusions shortly thereafter.
Ami was giving an example of proper use of the English word 'collision' by
banging two erasers together when she felt her communicator vibrate. She
finished the lesson and asked the teacher if she could take a bathroom
break. The teacher mentioned that the class would be over in half an hour
and asked if she could wait. Ami didn't feel the alarm vibration so she
agreed. She continued the tutoring.
========================================
Konatsu arrived at Furinkan High and whooshed into Ukyou's classroom and
swept her away. The class just felt a wind rush through the room and Ukyou
vanished. The teacher shrugged and continued the class as if nothing
happened.
Konatsu was carrying Ukyou across the rooftops of Nerima. "Ukyou, were have
to get to Juuban High right now. Happosai is going to be there."
Ukyou hopped out of Konatsu's arms and ran alongside of him, "Who told you?"
"Kasumi. Akane is going to meet us there."
Ukyou was very jealous that Akane was a Sailor Senshi. She felt better
thinking about the fact that Akane took her up on her offer for help. She
increased her speed and ran as fast as she could to Juuban.
The two of them leaped across a street and passed the Cat Cafe. Shampoo saw
the two running to the south. "Hmm, where they go in hurry?" Shampoo was
suspicious and hopped on her bicycle and followed them. Mousse saw Shampoo
leave and he ran to chase her and smacked into a light pole. He put his
glasses on and ran after Shampoo.
Cologne wondered why they left so quickly. She went back to the doing the
dishes when the plate she picked up snapped in two. "This is a bad sign,"
she said to herself. She grabbed her cane and followed Mousse.
Konatsu turned to Ukyou. "We're being followed."
Ukyou couldn't turn her head. She had to focus all of her energy to keep up
the pace. "Who's following us?"
"Shampoo."
Ukyou didn't want to waste time to ditch Shampoo. "That's ok. She might
actually try to help."
"Or she might drag Ranma off to China." Konatsu giggled and jumped to the
next building with Ukyou right behind him. They were followed by Shampoo on
the ground, Mousse as a duck flying in the air and Cologne hopping on a
stick. It was a rather odd procession.
What did you expect? It's Nerima.
========================================
Genma was sitting in the front seat of the cab. Nodoka, Soun and Kasumi were
in the back seat. Genma suggested, "Why don't we take the scenic route? It
will avoid traffic."
The cab driver looked at him as if he had sprouted another head. "This route
I'm taking is the fastest."
Nodoka raised a weak battle aura and unwrapped her new katana so that Genma
could see it. "We are going to defend our son. Or do you wish for I to do it
for you?"
Genma gulped. "Yes dear."
========================================
Class ended. Akane, Usagi and Ranma exited the classroom and found a private
place to meet. It was difficult since the school was filled with wandering
students who were trying to go home. Numerous students were going to the gym
to see the exhibition volleyball game.
They found a classroom that had just emptied and shut the door. Ranma hit
the play button on his communicator. They all heard Kasumi's message. Usagi
was a little mad, "Akane! Why didn't you show your sister the alarm button?
This was REALLY important!"
"I thought I did. Anyways, we know where Happosai is going to be. What's the
plan?"
Ranma thought about it. "Akane, you and Minako go and play volleyball." He
paused for a thought, "take Makoto with you in my place. Keep an eye out for
Happosai if he decides to do something to the game. I'll be outside waiting
for Taro and see if I can keep him from doing something stupid." Ranma
reached into his backpack and pulled out a thermos. "I'm going to get some
hot water so I can use it on Taro."
Usagi nodded, "I'll have Sailor Mars stand by with her ward. It should be
able to banish the creature. I'll have the other scouts group together and
we'll be close by. If anything happens," she turned to Minako, "anything at
all. You call us in."
Ranma punched his fists together, "Finally I'm going to make that old freak
pay."
Akane gave an evil grin, "Leave some for me."
Usagi gave an unusually evil grin, "I want some too." She held in her hand
her moon scepter.
Ranma shuddered, "I hope we don't end up destroying the High School. I kind
of like it here."
========================================
A bus pulled up at the front gates of Juuban High. The St. Hebereke High
School Martial Arts Volleyball team spilled out and grabbed their equipment.
Kodachi took a look at the High School. She was dressed in a black tank top
and black shorts with matching sneakers. "Hmm... I thought this place would
be more upscale." She saw the students milling about. She smiled and happily
thought, "Now I'll get to teach that hussy Akane the error of her ways. How
dare she take Ranma away from me! After my darling Ranma sees Akane
humiliated, he will come rushing into my arms." She spun around and flower
petals filled the air in a cyclone of black. She gave her psychotic laugh
and pranced toward the gym with her team following.
Tatewaki and Sasuke came out of the bus last. Kuno looked at the high school
as well, "Ah, the fair Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed one. I am here to
escort you away to a life of bliss."
Sasuke held back his nausea.
========================================
Happosai was on the roof of the main high school building. He had two
buckets of water next to him. They were both filled with uncursed Jusendo
water. He had bound the magic of the water to his demonic power. Now he
needed to curse the waters to invoke his final spell.
He placed the offerings into the first bucket. He dropped a bra, a panty, a
thong, and a leather thing he found in some girl's dresser and a set of
boxer shorts for girls who wore that sort of thing. He stirred them with a
metal pole until they all sank the bottom. The water glowed for a moment as
the magic absorbed the aura.
In the second bucket he poured in a scoop of ash. He stirred with the other
side of the pole until the ash dissolved and the water glowed and returned
to normal. He had the spell components ready.
========================================
Minako was in the girl's locker room in her volleyball uniform. She exited
and found the coach. "I'm telling you, forfeit the match!"
The coach was surprised, Minako never backed down from a sports challenge.
"It's a little late for that. Besides, this is the first time that we've had
the gym packed. Everyone wants to see this game." He pointed to the gym.
There was a large crowd of people trying to get in. "This Martial Arts
Volleyball has really sparked interest in the student body."
Minako pulled out the rulebook that Akane gave her from her gym bag. "Have
you read these rules? The game ends when the other team is knocked out. I
mean knocked unconscious!"
"With Ranko, Akane and you on the team, we can't lose! Ranko and Akane could
probably wipe out an army."
Minako waved the book in the coach's face, "Hate to break it to you, but
Ranko can't make it."
The coach was shocked, "WHAT! I saw Ranma in class today."
"Well, something happened to his curse and he can't change right now."
The coach was getting desperate. "Can you dye his hair?"
Minako stood on her toes and yelled, "Don't go there! Don't you even think
THAT!"
The coach got more desperate, "Is Akane going to play?"
Minako put the rulebook back in her bag. "Yes, she's getting into her
uniform right now. I've got Makoto changing into a volleyball uniform to
take Ranko's place."
"Whew! That's right! She's a martial artist. I guess that you, Akane and
Makoto will have to be in front. Let's gather the team and I'll explain the
rules."
Minako nodded and went back to the locker room.
========================================
Sailor Mercury was on the roof of the school scanning the area for magical
or demonic energy. She was getting very frustrated that nothing was showing
up. This demon was very skilled in hiding itself from other magic users.
Mercury looked below. The spaces between the school buildings were almost
empty of people since they had gone into the gym or had gone home. She
breathed a sigh of relief. The fewer people around here, the lesser the odds
of someone getting hurt. She saw Ukyou and Konatsu run up to the entrance of
the gym and they were looking for someone. Mercury smiled. Konatsu spun and
saw Mercury and pointed her out to Ukyou. They both waved. Mercury waved
back. Ranma appeared and talked to them. The three separated and ran off to
look for Happosai and Taro.
Mercury looked at the roofs of the other buildings and after a few moments
of slowly scanning with her visor, a dot started to appear. The dot turned
into a line and it was getting longer. She homed in on the signal. It was
the same magical signature as the water that hit Akari and Ranma. She
scanned the building the magic was flowing through and gasped.
It was in the plumbing and it was heading straight for the girl's locker
room. Mercury pulled out her communicator and gave the general alarm code.
She yelled into the speaker as she jumped off the building, "There is magic
water heading for the girl's locker room! It's in the plumbing! Avoid the
water at all costs!"
Akane had just put on her uniform. Some of the other girls were going to
take a shower since they came from gymnastics class and needed to clean
themselves up before they played volleyball. Akane heard the showers go on
and felt a sense of danger. Makoto glanced at Akane as their Sailor Senshi
communicators gave of the general alarm beep. They grabbed their
communicators and listened as they ran to the showers. Akane shouted, "TURN
OFF THE WATER!" She saw Yoko was about to get wet and she shoved her out of
the stall. Akane turned off the water just in time. She looked at the pipe
and felt that something bad was inside the tubing and was about to reach the
nozzle. Makoto turned off the other shower stall that had running water.
Akane turned to the crowd of half-naked girls, "Don't use the showers. Trust
me, you don't want this water touching you." Minako entered and almost
smashed into the two girls. She had gotten the message as well.
Sailor Mercury ran inside. She looked around, "I'm going to have to ask
everyone to leave the locker room. It's not safe here. Please leave
immediately and DON'T TOUCH ANY WATER!"
Everyone who was dressed left right that instant. The years of youma attacks
have trained the people of Juuban to listen to any Senshi who gave an
evacuation order without question. The rest got dressed in seconds and ran
out as well.
Sailor Mercury was alone in the locker room. She scanned the plumbing. She
saw in one of the stalls, the magical water was only three meters away from
the nozzle. Someone was only seconds away from losing her femininity.
Sailors Io, Jupiter and Venus arrived after a short while and then all four
of them looked around the room for any signs of Happosai. Io turned to the
others, "I'm going to search the roof."
Mercury nodded, "I'm coming too. The source of the water is there."
Venus and Jupiter nodded. Venus said, "I'll stay here and call you if he
shows up."
The three Senshi ran to the exit. Io was the first to get outside. She saw
Ranma, Ukyou and Konatsu run up. Io called to them, "Great! I need you to be
on the lookout for Happosai. He's here somewhere. The girl's shower is
loaded with Nannichuan. I'm going to the roof to find its source."
Ranma held onto his thermos of hot water, "I'm staying at the entrance of
the gym." He looked at the thermos, "I've got to deal with Taro."
Io jumped to the roof after the other two Senshi. Konatsu and Ukyou followed
Io. Sailor Jupiter was amazed at how many people from Nerima could jump that
high.
Io landed on the roof and took a look around. She sensed something close.
She heard a whimper. She quietly moved along the open area of the roof and
saw the target of everyone's attention. She held a finger to her mouth to
let the other Senshi know to be quiet and pointed at Happosai. Everyone
froze. Io whispered to Konatsu. "There is the little freak. Sneak up and get
him."
Happosai was hanging over the side of the roof. He was peeking in an upper
window to the girl's locker room. It appeared that he wanted to see what was
going to happen if the tainted water touched them. "C'mon pretty lady. You
can take off that dress. I won't mind." He was watching Sailor Venus as she
was searching for him in the locker room.
Konatsu crept up to the old man. He didn't want to blow this opportunity to
put an end to his reign of terror. He was only four meters away when he made
a leap and landed on the old freak. "Gotcha!"
Happosai was shocked. He didn't sense him coming. He spoke in a demonic
voice, "How dare you touch me!"
Konatsu almost let him go from the loudness and the ferocity in Happosai's
new voice. The eyes glowed a sickly yellow color and he smiled with a very
toothy grin. He laughed, "Ha ha ha!"
Konatsu squeezed Happosai to try to crush his windpipe. He faded away
leaving nothing but empty space in Konatsu's grasp. "ARGH! Where did that
pip squeak go?" He turned and looked in all directions trying to see where
he went.
He saw a badly build platform with a steel drum on top of it and plumbing
attached at the bottom. He approached it but stopped when he got five meters
away. He backed off.
Io stomped on the ground. Io wanted to mallet something. Jupiter was amazed
at Io's anger. Jupiter exclaimed, "Whoa!"
"I had that little runt in my hands!" Konatsu held out his arms and made
grasping motions with his hands. "I tried to hold him and he just laughed
and disappeared. ARGH!"
Ukyou pointed out the drum of water to everyone else. "Is that the water?"
Mercury pulled out her communicator, "All Scouts, Happosai is here. I repeat
Happosai is here. He can teleport so shoot first and ask questions later."
Jupiter pointed at the drum as well, "Is that what I think it is?"
Io watched the drum. "If it's really Nannichuan. We just saved those girls
from becoming guys."
Ukyou stood back, "Nannichuan! Mousse or Ryoga would kill for that!"
Jupiter took a few steps away from the drum. "Keep that stuff away from me."
Mercury pulled down her visor and scanned the drum. "It has an anti-magic
field." She stood very close to it. "I can barely detect any magical aura.
However put this here must be incredibly powerful to be able to avoid my
visor." The anti-magic field only covered the drum, it didn't cover the
entire plumbing system. Mercury was happy that the demon made that mistake.
She wouldn't have been able to prevent a tragedy if it had done that. She
adjusted her visor to compensate for the anti-magic field. The drum lit up
like a Christmas tree on her screen. She hopped away from the drum. "It's
the same stuff that got Akari!"
Io slammed her fist into her open palm hand, "So Happosai really was trying
to change women into men."
Jupiter took another step away from the drum, "How do we get rid of that
stuff?"
Mercury whipped out her computer and posed the question to it. The answer
was evaporation or dumping it into the ground. "We dump it."
Io and Jupiter shot glances to each other. They both said, "I'm not going
near it!"
Ukyou was wide eyed, "Happosai wants to change women into men? That is wrong
on so many levels."
Mercury suggested, "Let's have Ranma get rid of it."
Io bit the tip of her gloved hand, "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. I
think he should avoid it too."
"Well, do you know any other man who can do it?"
Konatsu made himself scarce. He was a guy, but he didn't want to get near
any magical water either.
Ukyou looked around, "Konatsu?"
Io turned to look at the people below. She saw the right man for the job. It
was someone she really didn't care whatever happened to him. "I found him.
Be right back." Io jumped off the building and landed right in front of
Tatewaki Kuno. She made a pose.
Tatewaki gazed at the vision of loveliness in front of him. "Sailor Io, I
will date with you!"
Io grabbed him, "Whatever!" She jumped to the roof with Kuno. They landed
near the drum. "Kuno, I need you to take that drum downstairs to the ground
and dump the water in the grass." Ukyou buried her head in her hands in
shame.
Kuno made a valiant pose, "I will do it after you promise to go on a date
with me."
Io wished the barrel were spring of drowned cockroach. Then she wouldn't
feel so back squashing Tatewaki after she splashed him with it. "Fine, why
did I even think I could count on you?" She smiled. "I'll get Ranma to do
it."
Tatewaki was insulted. "That foul creature is not worthy to give assistance
to the honored Senshi!" He went to the barrel and pulled from the platform.
The pipe burst and started splashing the water all over the roof. The girls
and Konatsu jumped off the roof and onto the neighboring building. Tatewaki
walked over to the gymnasium roof toward the fire escape with the Nannichuan
splashing everywhere.
Sailor Io looked to the sky in disgust. "Why was I so stupid to even think
that he could do anything right?" She aimed, "Thunder Hammer Strike!" She
shot a ball of ki at Tatewaki's head knocking him out. The drum fell over
and made a pool of water on the roof over the gym. The water didn't spill
off the building, as Io feared had Tatewaki made it to the fire escape. The
thought of that water spraying onto the crowd below was terrifying.
Mercury scanned the water. "The magic is already dissipating. It should be
safe in a short while." She raised her voice a little, "Girls, avoid the
roof over there."
========================================
The gymnasium was filled to capacity. Students were on bleachers on two
sides of the gym and they had their school banners up. Kodachi and her team
set up the Martial Arts Volleyball net and were ready to start the game. She
went to the Juuban coach, "Where is your team? We are ready to play."
The Juuban coach looked around, "I'll see what's taking them so long."
A girl screamed. "Get it off of me!" Happosai was burying his head in her
chest. Her boyfriend slammed the little man off of her and he bounced off
the floor and into the rafters.
In a corner emerged Sailor Moon and Mars. Mars watched the little man,
"Happosai!" Moon and Mars ran after him.
Happosai jumped down to the scoreboard. There he looked at everyone and
laughed. Sailor Moon called in all the scouts. She stood in the center of
the volleyball court with Mars at her side. "I'm Sailor Moon! I right wrongs
and fight injustice! You have no right casting evil spells that will harm
the lives of innocents. In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!" She and
Mars made a set of poses.
Happosai just sat there watching the two. For some strange reason, the
speech had a paralyzing effect on him and he couldn't move. He had no clue
why.
The other scouts appeared and made a circle of six girls. They all took
positions to attack.
Happosai clapped his hands. All the doors were sealed shut to the gym. "Now
foolish mortals! A world of pain is upon you!"
Sailor Moon pulled out her scepter, "Girls, let's show him some pain!" The
scouts all cast their attack spells and they hit a powerful force field that
was protecting Happosai.
"Ha ha ha! You are no match for me! I laugh at you! Here I go! HA HA HA HA!"
He made a demonic laugh. He turned to the window of the gym and saw a shadow
growing on it. "It's about time you showed up."
Pantyhose Taro in his cursed form flew in the window and shattered it. The
people in the bleachers directly below scattered to avoid the glass. Taro
flew to the scoreboard and grabbed a strangely happy Happosai. He held
Happosai tight. Taro reached into his backpack and splashed himself with hot
water.
Ranma jumped through the broken window. "Taro!"
Taro had his attention riveted on Happosai. "What is my new name?"
Sailor Moon was confused.
Ranma shouted again. "TARO!"
Taro stared at Happosai and started crushing him. "What do you want
fem-boy?"
"Taro, listen to me. It's not Happosai. It's a demon that looks like
Happosai. He's not going to give you a new name!"
"That's where you are wrong Ranma!" Happosai shouted.
"Why you!" Ranma jumped at Happosai but the force field was back up and he
bounced off of thin air.
Taro held back a smile, "I've waited a long time for this. What will my new
name be?"
"Leotard Taro!" Happosai proudly proclaimed.
"That is a women's garment!"
"No it's not, it's named after Jules Leotard, the creator of the Leotard."
Taro was red with rage. "That is still a women's garment!"
"Corset Taro?"
"WHAT! I didn't come all the way from China for this!" Taro held the old man
tight and slammed him against the scoreboard. "You give me a name that is
not an INSULT!"
"Brassier Taro?"
He slammed him again.
"Thong Taro?"
He punched Happosai.
Happosai was in serious pain. He began to give off a yellow glow. "Ok! Ok!"
Taro put his face next to Happosai. "What is my name?"
"PANTYHOSE TARO!" Happosai shouted.
Pantyhose Taro filled with anger and rage. The pain he felt at the sheer
waste of time coursed through his veins. "You evil little man!" He pulled
back his arm to give him another punch when Happosai started to change.
Ranma got up from the ground and saw the transformation. The scouts
encircled Happosai so he couldn't escape.
Happosai looked at Taro, "You are PANTYHOSE TARO FOREVER!"
"DIE!" Taro punched Happosai with all his might. The hopelessness of his
situation and the stupid name he had to live with caused great suffering
through Taro's soul. He smashed Happosai into the scoreboard and almost
caused him to explode into a gooey mess. A bright flash of yellow light
erupted and Taro was thrown to the ground.
The yellow light began to grow and take a form. It became a six-meter tall
demon. Its weight caused the scoreboard to bend and buckle. Reddish gray
skin with horns like a bull with the lower half of its body like that of a
giant goat. The teeth were too numerous to count and razor sharp. He stood
up and laughed in a deep bass pitch, "Ha ha ha!!! The pain! It fills me! It
is neat!"
The demon stepped off the crushed scoreboard onto the hardwood floor of the
gym. Its hoofs left footprints because of its tremendous weight. It
effortlessly pushed aside Taro outside of the force field. "Thank you
Pantyhose Taro for sharing your pain with me."
Happosai lay on the ground at the demon's feet. His bruised and battered
body twitched and he tried to heal from his massive trauma.
The demon looked down at Happosai, "Now I will fulfill your darkest
nightmare. I will then evolve to my higher form!"
Happosai was proud of himself. He had saved the world. He kept his thoughts
focused on the second most loved thing in his life. It took an immense
effort and only through his mastery of martial arts mind techniques was he
able to fool the demon. His most loved things in the world were safe. He
never let the demon know that women was the most precious thing in the world
to him.
The moment the demon demanded its price. Happosai knew that he could doom
the world. He made massive efforts to shut out of his mind the thing he
loved the most. He couldn't shut out his desire for Ranma's girl side. He
couldn't shut out how cute he found Akari was. He couldn't shut out his
desire for women's underwear. He had to devote all of his mental energy to
shut out the object of his perverse desires. He had succeeded. He hoped that
the people of the world would give him a new underwear collection as a
reward for a job well done.
The demon raised his arms in triumph. A bucket of water appeared in each
hand. "HA HA HA! Now feel the power! Feel my dark evil!" It looked down to
Happosai again, "Now your greatest love will be destroyed!" It turned to the
crowd of warriors and bellowed out, "I will now destroy all the underwear in
the world!"
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Author's Notes: Next episode, Uh yeah? Destroy all the underwear in the
world? That's pretty stupid. Where are the outer scouts? Where is Shampoo?
Who really cares? Tune in next time, same panda time, same panda channel.
Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and allows me to write
the conclusion.
Bill Heineman
November 25, 2002
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bur...@contrabandent.com
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