[Ranma][FanFic] Biker 1/2 chapter 15
Calum Wallace
I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.
Words in "<this>" kind of brackets are spoken in Cantonese.
Chapter 15: Break Something Tonight
"Give me something to break! Such as your fucking face!" - Limp Bizkit,
'Break Stuff.'
************************************
Ranma kept staring at Akira. For all his loud - mouth tactics he had a nasty
feeling he was in for the fight of his life. Both men stood in a loose
posture, ready to explode into action in any direction.
Ranma simply waited for Akira to come at him. Almost five minutes passed
before Akira got sick of the waiting game.
He came at Ranma with a fast left-right combo. The boy easily slid aside
from the blow and replied with a sweep kick that Akira jumped over.
"You're better than I thought, kid."
Ranma snorted. "An' yer crapper than I thought."
Akira shrugged and attacked again, noticeably faster this time. A blurringly
rapid uppercut that Ranma only just managed to evade.
"Nicely done, fuckhead." Ranma started a complex series of flowing motions
with his hands, continuing dodging Akira's flurry of attacks as he did so.
He suddenly broke the pattern by thrusting his right fist towards the elder
man. It stopped short of connecting but Akira flew backwards and bounced off
a wall.
"What the hell?"
Ranma laughed. "Like I said, come on and get it - fuckhead."
Akira snorted and stood up, brushing dust from his shirt. "Pathetic."
Ranma snorted again. "So ya thought that was pathetic, huh? Well just wait
till ya get a load o' the next one!"
"No, you just wait, boy."
Ranma sorted again. "Aye right. Hey, Ryoga! Give us yer spanner!"
Ryoga shrugged, pulled her enormous adjustable wrench off of her back and
tossed in at Ranma. Ranma caught it neatly and started spinning it round his
head.
"Check this one out, ya fuckhead!" He suddenly lobbed the spanner at Akira.
Akira caught it, looked shocked and dropped it.
"How the fuck did you pick that thing up?"
"With ease, ya whimp!"
Akira proceeded to blow his lid. "That does it! I'm gonna teach you a lesson
in goddamn manners, boy!"
"Aw, go fuck yerself - shithead."
************************************
Mortise rumbled down the street. His Hog was running beautifully (as ever)
and he had a mess of spare parts in his pack that he'd scraped together for
Ranko.
He turned into the Tendo's driveway and was immediately confronted with
Ranma fighting an older man. An older man who he recognised.
"What the fuck? Akira Saotome?"
"I am rather busy just now, Mortise."
Mortise parked his bike beside the others and got off. He walked over to the
gang.
"What the fuck's going on?"
Ryoga snorted. "This cunt Akira showed up and started telling Ranma what to
do. You can guess the rest, right?"
"Ranma started a fight with him, right?"
"Actually Ranma told him to go fuck himself and he started trying to
browbeat Ranma. Ranma told him to come outside and earn himself some
respect."
Mortise groaned. "Oh, great. Ranma's bitten off more than he can chew this
time. I think he's about to get his ass kicked."
"I dunno. That Akira guy hasn't even hit him yet. And he's hit Akira once."
"You don't understand! That Akira guy regenerates!"
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. She pulled out her handgun.
"Maybe Wolfsbane work on he?"
Mortise shrugged. "Only one way to find out."
Shampoo nodded and handed the gun to Akane. "You be better shot than I. Plug
the bastard!"
Akane took the gun then paused. "I don't know about this."
"What do you mean, Akane? Ranma can't win if that cunt keeps healing up!"
Ranma had overheard the whole lot. He immediately powered up his strongest
attack.
"Chew on this!"
'This' was his boot. It appeared to miss Akira completely.
The older man snorted. "Was that meant to..."
He fell flat on his face.
Mortise stared. "What the fuck?"
Ranma turned Akira over with his boot. Twenty - six muddy footprints were
spread up the older man's front.
Mortise stared. "What the fuck? You kicked him?"
"Yeah, I gave the fuckhead a good stompin'. A motormouth like that's just
askin' fer a boot in th' gob."
Akane looked at Akira carefully. "Oh my god - every strike hit a vulnerable
place... I didn't even see you hit him!"
"An' that wasn't me goin' at full speed either."
Akira sat up. "Nicely done, kid."
Ranma snorted and kicked him in the mouth. "Fuck you, shitface." He paused.
"I told ya already, I'm gonna do exactly what I damn well please an' no
fucker can stop me... fuckwit. So d'ya want some more?"
Akira shook his head. "You have proved your point well enough for me, Ranma.
Shit, how am I going to tell the crew?"
"I neither know nor care, fuckhead. Far as I'm concerned ya can go ta hell."
Genma groaned. "Ranma, how can you refuse the honour of leading our clan?"
"Easy as I replace a fucked up final drive, Dad. I don't give a flyin' fuck
about that honour crap, remember? Honour's just gonna lose ya friends an'
get ya killed. I got more important stuff ta think about - such as my own
damn life!" He glared at Akira. "I ain't gonna let any fucker screw up my
life an' ya better remember it! Same goes fer ya, Dad. I ain't gonna let ya
use me as yer fuckin' doormat. I'm gonna live here fer th' rest o' my
fuckin' life an' ride the baddest damn bikes what've ever been built. I'm
gonna be a father in about eight months. You think I'm gonna do fuckin'
anythin' that's gonna fuck that up? Somethin' as neat as that ain't
somethin' I'm gonna let some dumb arsehole fuck with. I ain't some waster
who sits around tellin' other folks what ta do, I'm a workin' man. I ain't
gonna sit on my fuckin' backside an' get money offa other folk's work, I'm
gonna get out there an' earn my livin' fer real. So ya can take yer clan
leadership an' blow it outta yer exhausts, fuckhead!"
Akira groaned. "Houston, we have a problem."
"Aw, fuck off willya? We don't want or need yer fat ass round here, ya lazy
good fer nothin' wanker. Clan head? That's just another name fer 'boss'. A
fuckhead who tells other guys what ta do an' takes all th' money they earn.
So keep outta my fuckin' way, ya piece o' shit!"
************************************
Akira, Genma and Soun sat in the back room of the house with grim
expressions on their faces.
"This is really bad."
"We're so deep in the shit that it's over our heads."
Akira snorted. "Genma, Soun - don't let a little setback end your world."
"Little setback?!?!"
"That's the understatement of the year!"
"Boys, boys. Haven't you noticed - Ranma is in the middle of his teens.
Teenage rebellion rules OK. I dare say he'll settle down in the near
future."
Genma snorted. "I wouldn't count on it. He takes after his grandfather in
more ways than one. And you know what Dad was like as well as I do."
Akira snorted. "Until that big fight."
"Until that big fight," Genma sighed. "But his sacrifice was not in vain."
"Hell, it's thanks to him that we're here today. That's half the reason his
line became the successors - that and to complete the union with the
Moroboshi line."
"I know, Akira. I know. I sure as hell know it wasn't because of me. Genma
'fat dick' Saotome, that's me."
"You've been listening to Ranma swear at you too much, boy. You didn't kill
eighty of our enemies finest in a very messy way for nothing."
"Face it, Akira. I didn't get jack shit for that - unless you count three
bullet holes and a claw slash or ten."
"You defy me too?"
"Yes. I damn well do. Face it, I'm sick of toeing your line. Oh no, I'm not
going to do anything about it, but sure as hell I'm going to make a lot of
noise about it!"
"Watch your tongue, Genma. That's fighting talk."
"And I still don't understand why the hell you had me pull half the stuff on
Ranma you did! I mean, why the hell Jusenkyu? Even though we know exactly
what that place means? And why the deal with Kounji? You damn well know
that's going to cause nothing but trouble - and not for me! For my son!"
"Shut up, sit down and listen to me. Before I rip your face off, boy.
Jusenkyu was simple - several children have undergone their First after a
dip in one of those springs. Kounji is mundane. He can't cause too much
bother - he doesn't matter and neither does his daughter. Mundanes do not
count."
Genma sighed. "Akira, I think you're being too old-fashioned for anyone's
good."
"What you think doesn't matter, boy. What the Clan requires is all that
counts! Your son WILL replace me - there's no two ways about it. And I don't
give a flying fuck about your ill - informed humanist opinions, boy. You
will do what you're told if you know what's good for you."
"I doubt Ranma will see it the same way as you do, Akira."
"What do I care about the boy's opinions?"
"They mean everything where Ranma's concerned, because if you try to force
him to go against them you get him, Ryoga, Shampoo, Akane, Ranko, Mortise
and possibly that Prince Herb character upside the head. Ranma wrestled a
large bear when he was twelve. He killed it. Ryoga is substantially stronger
than him - she could pick me and my bike up and lift me and my bike over her
head when she was thirteen. It's weird - she used to be very weak. Something
happened to her one time she was lost."
"Hmph - you've accepted Ryoga's sex-change very readily."
"Yeah, because I care about my children's feelings! You do know that
Nodoko's got her families katana, don't you?"
"You what? You let her keep it?"
"It wasn't a matter of 'let', Akira. She's as bloody minded as Ranma."
"Why didn't you just forceably take it off her?"
"That's oh so easy for you to say. Trying to take something off of HER? That
would be as good as committing suicide!"
"Oh for- She's Mundane, boy!"
"That doesn't mean very much, old man. Remember which Mundanes you're
talking about there? The Moroboshi family?"
Akira snorted. "We beat them once and we can beat them again!"
"We beat them once by backstabbing, ganging up and playing dirty! But now
they're family so it's a hell of a lot more personal!"
"Now look here, boy!"
"No, you look here. I'm right and you damn well know it! It's not me who
just got his ass kicked, remember?"
"That's not the point. I could have taken him easily and we both know why I
couldn't. He's not ready to know and he just proved it."
"Mortise knows." Soun pointed out. "He thinks very highly of Ranma and I
reckon it's only a matter of time before either he tells the kids or Nabiki
twigs and tells them."
Genma snorted. "Nabiki's already twigged. Why she's not told Ranma I don't
know."
"Absolute rubbish! Of course she hasn't figured out! She's seventeen and a
girl. No way can she have figured."
It was Soun's turn to snort. "You don't know Nabiki. Anything worth knowing
she knows. And this is most definitely worth knowing."
"You're getting worked up over nothing-"
"No we're not. Nabiki's smelt a rat bigstyle and I know it. One of my
contacts told me she was asking about the Saotomes, the Tendos and the
Amazons and getting answers. Answers that happen to be accurate."
"Such as?"
"What we really are. She knows, but I don't know if she believes it."
"She's a girl. Of course she won't believe that!"
"I wouldn't be so sure. She's been scared shitless lately. Any idiot can
smell the fear stink coming off her. Ranma offered to help her and she said,
and I quote 'it isn't something that can be dealt with by beating the shit
out of it.' She knows, all right. How much is suspicion I don't know, but
she does know our kind exist."
Akira sat down. "Oh, hell."
Genma snorted. "Well she's one less kid who's going to be scared halfway to
a heart attack."
"That self same shock is a vital ingredient of initiation!"
"I don't see why we need to make our kids think they can't trust us. Ranma
tends to kill people he doesn't trust - and if he had a weapon like that you
would be dead, Akira Saotome. The boy has the best fighting instincts I have
ever seen."
Akira snorted. "Rubbish! I have too much experience."
"Ranma's fought to other people's death sixty odd times, Akira. He knows how
to kill quickly and efficiently - if he needs to. And he killed a guy who
once beat you. Remember that mad master fifteen years ago?"
************************************
Nabiki pulled out the headphone plug.
"Yes, Genma. I have already twigged." she murmured. It was time to teach
that Akira Saotome character the error of his ways. She quickly copied the
recording to a tape and glanced out the window.
"Bugger." None of the others were there. Their bikes were certainly gone.
She shrugged. That was a minuscule setback - it would delay her for a few
hours at the most. She wrote 'Play me' on the tape and left it under Akane's
pillow, right where she knew her sister left her gun when in bed.
************************************
Ranma handed Akane a beer and sat back with a fag hanging out of his mouth.
"Fuck sake. That Akira character - what a fuckhead."
Mortise snorted. "I've known the bastard for a couple of years.
Unfortunately."
Shampoo scratched her head. "I is see him before. Not mind where."
"Say, anyone figure why Dad looks up to him? The dickhead can't be much
older than twenty! I mean, Dad's in his forties, man!"
Mortise snorted again. "He's a good bit older than he looks. By a few
centuries, or so I'm told. Ending up looking like a pickled monkey is an
optional part of stopping yourself dieing of old age."
"Say what? What the fuck is that creep anyway?"
"Trouble with an upper case T."
"Yeah - that's the first time any bugger's gotten up right after I kicked
them like that. Four fuckheads I kicked like that didn't ever get up."
Akane gave him a shocked look. "You've killed people?"
"Only in self defence. It wuz kill or be killed. Me an' dad've been a lotta
places where ya get a lotta bandit types. They tend ta fuck off real quick
if ya kick their leader's head off. It don't feel good in here-" he tapped
his chest "-But I hadta. I didn't have any fuckin' choice."
Mortise nodded. "Most murders are crimes of necessity, not choice. Fact of
life, my friend."
"That's a good way o' puttin' it. It's not like I got up an' went 'right,
today I'm gonna kill someone'. It happened because they wuz gonna kill us."
Shampoo sighed. "I no think I be able for kill person."
"That's not somethin' ta be ashamed o'. It's simple - th' harder it is th'
better a person ya are. If ya can kill without havin' regrets then yer a
psycho." Ranma sniggered and pulled off his jacket. He tapped a gunshot scar
on his stomach. "Sounds pretty weird comin' from th' chick who gave me
that."
Shampoo looked closer. She could see the exit scar a few inches over. The
bullet had just clipped him.
"I is actually hit you?"
"Yep. Lucky I know howta take a few knocks. I've had worse."
To Ranma's surprise everyone else's expressions suddenly changed to looks of
complete horror. Ranko rolled onto her back and cocked her pump - action leg
on one smooth movement.
"RANMA! LOOK OUT!" Akane threw herself at him and bowled him flat on his
back.
Ranko's gun crashed. She chambered another round and fired again, keeping
cranking off shots in a frenzy. The blasts were going over Akane and Ranma
at an ever increasing angle.
Then there was a very big bird there. It was an ugly, scrawny looking grey
creature not unlike a cross between a vulture and a parrot. Akane screamed.
Ranma lost it.
He drew his GP35 and blasted off five rounds at the bird. The first shot
missed and whined off a streetlight. The second round clipped it's claw. The
third, fourth and fifth shots were good solid hits. One caught it right up
the arse, the second went through it's wing while the third hit it under the
chin. It screamed and started to drop out the air. To Ranma's immense
surprise it changed into a teenage girl as it fell.
Mortise was on his feet. His eyes were glowing red and his fangs were out.
"THERE'S TWO MORE!"
Ranma rolled round, shoving Akane underneath himself as he did so. He let
fly at the second bird, hitting it right in the face with five bullets. It
dropped like a stone. Again it turned into a teenage girl. She smashed into
the ground head first.
Her brains splattered across the path she had landed on.
Ranma moved to track in on the third bird - thing. To his horror it had just
grabbed Shampoo.
She screamed, first in anger then terror as Ranma's bullets whined past her,
hitting the bird with solid thunks and splattering Shampoo with blood.
She and the bird - now an unconcious teenage girl - landed in a heap on the
grass. Ranma jumped up and sprinted over.
"Shampoo! Are you okay?"
She paused to check all her body parts were still there. "I think so... Oh!"
"What? Did I hit you?"
"No, no. I is knowing she." She pointed at the girl she was half laying on.
"Bloody hell - the bullet wounds have fuckin' vanished!"
Mortise frowned "Ranma - did you have the wolfsbane tipped rounds in your
gun?"
Ranma paused and felt around in his pockets then dropped the magazine out of
his gun. He examined the bullet in the top of the clip then nodded.
"Yeah. Why?"
"You know what I said wolfsbane does to shapeshifters? Stops 'em
shapeshifting? Well, guess what happens if you hit them with wolfsbane when
they're in a non-human form."
"You're saying it forces 'em back to human?"
"Yep. Which means this trio are Amerai." He jerked his thumb at the crumpled
figure on the path. "Though she won't be getting up. That fall splattered
her brains out, which is too much for her to heal."
"But I is knowing she! She be Amazon warrior! Her name Tiger!"
"Yes, didn't anyone ever tell you? A good number of the Amazons are Amerai."
"Tiger be main lackey of Kou Loun."
"You mean that Cow Lone bitch ass pickled monkey's playin' th' 'let's fuck
with th' Saotomes' game?"
"I is think be so."
"Then we gotta go tell her exactly whet we think o' her - wiv lead."
Later dudes, lunch break's over.
NOTES
Now it definitely looks like the gang's gonna bite off more than they can
chew... there's a war brewin'! Tune in next whenever to find out what Ranma
makes of Nabiki's tape and a few other (violent) details...
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Ratbike - A motorbike made to look as fucked up and unroadworthy as possible
while still being street legal. Normally painted flat black.
Honda CG125 - Small single - cylinder 4-stroke road bike. Not very much of
anything but supremely reliable and dirt cheap. It's reliability stems from
having very little to go wrong and a low - revving 4-stroke engine.
Honda Fireblade - Insane Honda sportsbike. Mad but beginning to show it's
age.
Supercharger - A pump driven off the crank that forces more air into the
engine thus forcing it to run faster.
Nitrous oxide - Laughing gas. A petrol - nitrous mix burns faster than a
petrol - air mix therefore produces more horsepower and more wear in the
engine.
Top yoke - The yokes are two pieces of metal that hold the front forks
together and to the bike. The top yoke is the upper one. Known as triple
clamps in the US.
Gixer - Slang for a Suzuki GSXR (one of the craziest bikes built).
Chain lube - Motorbike chain lubrication oil.
Header tank - Tank that contains the spare water for the radiator on a
sealed cooling system as found in most cars.
Gasflowing - trimming off excess metal from inside the cylinder heads to aid
the burn rate of fuel within the engine. Gives a small horsepower boost.
Final drive - the drive chain that goes from the gearbox to the back wheel
and the cogs (final drive sprockets) that it runs on.
Conrod - The bit of metal that connects the piston to the crankshaft.
Alternator - Higher tech version of a generator.
Kill switch - The engine's 'off' switch. Turns off power to the ignition.
Lid / skidlid - Slang for a crash helmet.
250 Superdream - CB250. The next up the Honda model range from the CG125 and
just a bigger version of the same.
500 Superdream - CB500. A CB250 with a bigger bore and heavier frame.
Engine clicking - An internal combustion engine heats up when run. Run it
hard and it heats up more, then when you switch off the engine will start
emitting a series of sharp clicks as the metal cools and contracts.
Stocker - unmodified factory - built vehicle.
Binned - crashed. Normally means written off.
Steering damper - a long, thin shock absorber that fits between the forks
and the frame. Helps steady the steering.