[Ranma][FanFic] Biker 1/2 chapter 25
Calum Wallace
Like, not.
Words in "<this>" kind of brackets are spoken in Cantonese. Those in
"{this}" are in wolf-speak.
Chapter 25: And one for the road.
"Cars are crashin' every night, I drink n' drive everything's in sight, I
make the fire but I miss the firefight, I hit the bullseye every night" -
Guns 君' Roses, 栗t's So Easy'
"Ya ever had that feelin' where ya just know somethin's gonna happen,
somethin' bad, but ya dunno what an' dunno when? I got used ta it years ago,
back durin' th' trouble we had wiv Kou Loun's Amazons." - Ranma Saotome.
***********************************
Ranma set his spanner down.
"Well, that's th' engineerin' finished. Onta th' artistic bit! Okay, Nabs -
what way d'ya want this thing ta look?"
Nabiki scratched her head. "Um - like something you really don't want to
have a crash with?"
"Right. Spikes an' lurid paint." Ranma grabbed a handful of sheet steel
offcuts. "Pass us that angle-grinder. Nabs, see if ya can find any nails.
Hey, Mao - fetch a machine gun, huh? Onea th' 7.62's." He grinned at
Nabiki. "We gotten permission ta carry loaded guns. So we might as well be
as blatant as possible about it. Now, how can I rig th' gun so it can only
fire when th' ignition's on... servo trigger."
Nabiki blinked. "Spikes and a live machine gun? I like it already!"
"Great. How about that blue camo pattern? It looks rattish but it's still
very visible. Or we could paint her flat black then splatter dayglo paint
all over th' place. Waddya think?"
Nabiki scratched her head. "Um - how about a wasp stripes pattern?"
"That's it! Th' Stinger!"
"Look, I've got to go and finalise a couple of deals for weaponry. So I'll
see you later, okay?"
"Gotcha. We'll get this thing finished while yer away. Ya goin' far?"
"Only as far as my computer."
"Right. So what's th' kit?"
"REAL firepower. It's a surprise."
"Alright, alright. Have yer little secrets."
Nabiki grinned. "I guarantee you're gonna love the kit I'm organising."
"Hey, Mortise - a while back ya said this Hanovan person's five hundred, now
yer sayin' she's over five thousand."
"I said she was over five hundred. I didn't say by how much."
***********************************
Mi Soon shook her head as she watched Mao Xing dash back into the workshop
with an M60 machine gun slung over his shoulder. So Nabiki had got herself
into trouble with Akira. Well, time would tell the reaction. She slung her
AK over her shoulder and ambled into the Saotome-Tendo house.
Soun and Genma looked up from their bike building as she entered the living
room - they were putting the final touches to Soun's new bike. It was an
impressive looking machine, short and slightly squat looking with an
incredible German-style 慧ucks arse' rear end poking up to level with where
the rider's armpits would be, and an oval mini handlebar fairing with twin
headlamps. The classic streetfighter look. It's four exhausts were polished
titanium - incredibly expensive and downright beautiful - and there was a
near photo real painting of an attractive twentysomething Japanese woman on
the fuel tank. The rest of the bodywork was painted a lurid snot green.
Genma grinned at her. "Evening."
"Hello, Genma. What the hell are the kids up to in the workshop?"
Genma shrugged. "I saw the look on Ranma's face and left."
Soun snorted. "As far as I gathered they're repairing Akane's bike and
building one for Nabiki. Ranma's pretty pissed about that crash."
"So has Akira vented his spleen?"
Soun snorted again. "Actually, it reminds me of Dad's description of why we
split with Clan Saotome. Akira ranted for over half an hour about Nabiki
being insolent, incompetent and endangering the secrecy of the entire Amerai
race. Essentially, fuck him I'm not going to even wag a finger at my
daughter over a genuine accident. Though I think I will talk to Ranma and
Akane about speeding."
Genma laughed. "If I know my son he normally takes the lead, and considering
the sheer level of skill he rides with he is perfectly safe riding down the
high street during rush hour at well over the ton. Hell, he's been riding
daily since he was six. Akane just doesn't have his level of skill. From
what I heard she took the lead - Ranma said he was riding slower to try to
stop any chance of Nabiki getting hurt. I guess Akane didn't twig."
Mi Soon shook her head. "That Akira... if it was up to him he'd probably
have Nabiki killed. I must admit I think less of my brother every day. And
as I already thought he was an idiot..."
Genma growled. "He is not an idiot. He is a sick fuckhead who think's he's
God. That brute deserves a slow and extremely horrible death."
Mi Soon blinked. The level of vitriol in Genma's voice was... unusual to say
the least. "Okay..."
***********************************
Mortise stood up.
"Well, that's that done."
Ranma snorted. "Yeah, apart from th' yellow. Fag break."
Ryoga casually stretched. "Man, I'm gaspin'."
Mao Xing rolled his eyes. "You smokers all same."
"Bite me, fanboy."
Mortise groaned.
"Don't talk about biting people. It makes me thirsty."
Ranma stuck his tongue out. "Okay, in that case kiss my ass." He paused.
"Nah, don't have th' same ring ta it."
"Why 掲anboy'?"
"Pass. It's a quote from somewhere - everyone uses it. Hey, I've been
wondering about something. Where's all that extra bulk come from when yer
bike transforms? I mean, it's fuckin' massive at any rate but th' battle
armour form is nearly twice th' size."
Mao shrugged. "How the hell would I know? I know how the bike form works -
well, apart from the engine, it's some kind of fusion reactor crossed with a
gas turbine - but apart from that I don't have a clue. I do know that the
bike sort of morphs into the armour's basic frame - it's got all the
actuators. Where the plating comes from and where the wheels go is past
me... Maybe Mi Soon would have some idea."
"Right, think I'll go check out wiv her."
"Ya, ya. Whatever."
***********************************
Mi Soon was smoking when Ranma found her. She glanced up as he swung himself
into the back of the truck
"Hello, Ranma, What's up?"
"Aw, not much. Just wanted ta ask somethin' about Mao Xing's bike."
"Oh? What about it?"
"Where th' fuck's all th' extra bulk come from when he transforms it?"
"Ah. An interesting question. That machine is a five thousand year old
example of ancient Amerai technology, designed by the same people as the
infantry tanks Kou Loun used... by the time it was built they had been in
production for nearly six hundred years. Decidedly out of date."
"Th' point bein'?"
"Magus Kirth described the Stew to you, correct?"
"Yup."
"Well, the theory that bike is built on is that there is a similar dimension
filled with inanimate matter. That model of power armour is supposedly able
to tap into it, or that was the manufacturer's blurb. Personally I think
they actually store the alternate form's armour panels at 90 degrees on the
seventh dimension. Those machines used to be very popular with youth packs
and lone wolf types - what you'd call motorbike gangs and solo adventurers.
High speed transport and hellacious amounts of punch in the one package.
Shapeshift ready to boot. Dad used to ride one when he was a teenager. So
did I - hell, Mao Xing's got my old bike. Beautiful machine, isn't it? I was
delighted when Mao dug her out of the ruins at Landing. Even more so when he
got her running again."
Ranma nodded. "Was that yer first bike?"
"Yeah."
He grinned. "I still gotten a soft spot fer my old CB500 - ain't got a clue
where she is now. Funny how yer first bike sticks in yer head, innit."
"Yeah. Imagine how pleased I was when the humans reinvented the motorcycle.
It was like, at last. You and Ryoga own the only modern bikes that I'd call
half decent... pity they adopted such a peculiar control system."
"I'd call th' controls on Mao's bike weird, but then I'm used ta a modern
setup."
"You would be."
"So what sorta engine does she use?"
"Ah... fusion turbine. I think that's how it translates. It uses a hydrogen
fusion reactor to drive a turbine. The vanes are monomolecular
semineutronium - that's why the bike's so heavy. Each vane weighs around 250
kilos and there's fifty of them in there. It would take around fifteen
thousand of them to equal the thickness of a banknote."
"So how th' fuck d'ya manufacture that?"
"The engine is assembled and maintained by nanites. All Mao had to replace
to get her running was the capacitor discharge unit on the starter. He had
to charge the powerpack and that took three days plugged into a 240 volt
generator. It took him ages to figure out the fuel - raw hydrogen."
"Hydrogen? Ya can run a piston motor on that shit but I wouldn't advise it.
Means sittin' wiv a bomb between yer legs."
"Yes, but a hydrogen fusion reactor is a much more efficient way to derive
power from the gas. You use nearly 100 percent of the available power. Thus
you need to carry much less, and since it's so heavily shielded and armoured
there's scant chance of the fuel detonating in the event of a crash. Witness
the comparative damage to Akane's bike and Mao's bike in the accident which
heralded Nabiki's First Change. Akane's human tech bike was almost
completely destroyed by the force of the collision. Mao's Amerai tech
machine wrecked the car and escaped with no more damage than scrapes in the
knee plates."
"Er - just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"How th' fuck d'ya get Mao's bike upright if ya drop it?"
Mi Soon facefaulted violently.
***********************************
It was a pleasant enough evening. The day which came before had been hot and
sunny to the point of being stifling. Now half of Tokyo had the same idea -
getting out in the cool evening air and unwinding from the stresses of a
hot, stuffy day at work or school. Vampires filtered through the crowd,
their distorted ki clearly visible to the supernatural eye.
A certain group of youths, two vampires among their number, were discussing
where to go and what to do.
Ranko popped a fresh cigarette into her mouth and lit up, earning her a
glare from Akane. She shot Mortise a cheerful grin.
"So, what are we gonna do?"
"I dunno. How about dropping by one of the nightclubs and finding a bite to
drink?"
Ranma snorted. "Reckon we're gonna go for a slightly different drink. That
place called Rage." The rock club they had properly met Shampoo in.
"Coming?"
Mortise made a face. "I don't know if that's a good idea. The place I was
thinking of - one of Tokyo's best rock clubs - is owned by an undead pal of
mine. Nobody bats a fucking eyelid if you have a quick bite."
"Well, I never been ta th' place. What's it called?"
"Lester's World of Rock. The owner's an Irish expat."
Akane nodded. "I know the place, they play excellent industrial on Fridays.
I've only been there twice, it's a bit of a trek when you don't have
wheels."
"Mortise, I think you can guess what Ryoga would do if someone tried to bite
her neck."
"Ryoga smells of werewolf. Werewolves don't taste too good, they'll go for
the humans. No offence, but werewolf blood is fucking bitter."
Nabiki scratched her head. "Reckon we should borrow a truck off Mi Soon? I
plan on getting completely smashed."
"Might be a good idea. I can ride when I'm ratarsed, so can Ryoga. But I
doubt you lot can handle it."
"Right." Mortise smirked. "I'll drive since I'm not planning on getting
wasted."
"I'd figure whoever owns the truck would drive."
"Alright, whoever's going by truck go with Mortise. Hey, Nabiki - did that
deal you were talking about come off?"
"Give me some credit, Ranma. The... goods will be delivered within 24 hours,
payment on receipt and cleared by Honda. I learnt to use this gear a couple
of years ago... you really do not want to know how. Oh, Akane - I've managed
to arrange for the JSDF to supply ammo to us."
Akane punched one fist triumphantly into the air. "Excellent! Proper drawn
brass cases at last! Thanks, Nabiki!"
"Come on, let's get mobile."
***********************************
Jude Lester sat back in the DJ's booth and swept her eyes over the crowd.
The nightclub was packed - the Friday night industrial set always drew a
horde. She noticed several Amerai; their distinctive aura patterns were
highly visible. A couple of vampires with them?
She glanced at one of her lackeys.
"I need to speak to someone. Cover things here."
He nodded; the digital mixing decks were basically a giant MP3 player. Once
set running they would do their job perfectly and seamlessly.
Jude affected a rolling swagger as she headed down to the bar. She slid
easily through the crowd; people recognised her and squeezed out the way.
She arrived in the middle of an involved conversation.
"... old bitch. I figure we ain't seen th' last o' that pickled fuckin'
monkey, not by a long shot."
Shampoo nodded her agreement. "Is so. Kou Loun not give up easy."
Mortise groaned. "Look, we've got a supply of full power ammunition. Akane
can fix up hot-loads and we can get John Kirth to sort us a supply of those
weird slugs he uses. I mean, from the quality of work on the cases I looked
at someone's got to be manufacturing them."
Nabiki rubbed her chin. "I could give Honda the specifications. The boys who
make gear for the JSDF keep their mouths shut, and we can trust Honda. Sure,
he knows exactly who we are. He also knows we're on his side."
Ryoga smirked. "How about I get on to Herb? I saw him practising - I mean,
wow. Talk about serious fuckloads of ki. I'd figure he's packing about
fifty, maybe sixty times the power of us lot. He claims to be part fucking
dragon."
Mortise nodded. "You mean Prince Herb of the Musk, right? He's half human.
The other half is a native supernat, nobody seems to know what. He's a
complete one-off and damn is he powerful. I've seen him take on an entire
tank division. It was like someone shooting bunny rabbits with an elephant
gun."
Ranma smirked. "Mi Soon taught me a couple o' tricks that'll come in handy.
I'll teach Ryoga, don't figure anyone else can handle it yet."
"A couple of tricks?"
"Yeah. Th' Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken an' what's called the Hadoken. She sez
there's a more powerful version but I ain't got enough ki ta use it yet, an'
she sez I gotten more than any o' you lot. Dad's secret techniques should
turn out handy - I've been figuring how ta expand on 憩m usin' th'
techniques Mi Soon gave me."
"Werewolf busting is pretty easy once you get the hang of it, and you guys
have. It's Joketsuzo's allies I'm worried about."
"Allies?"
"Yeah. Believe it or not, Kou Loun actually has friends. Some of them are
pretty goddamn dangerous... it's the ones who don't give a shit about
pissing off Clan Saotome that I'm worried about."
Ryoga frowned. "Hey, Nabs - gissashot of your phone, huh? I'm gonna buzz
Herb, he gave me his phone number."
"You mean the Musk are actually on the network?"
Shampoo nodded. "Hell yeah. Them have whole works. Hydroelectricity,
telephones, Internet, the lot. Even trailbike factory."
"Where the fuck do they get decent computer hardware out in the sticks?"
"I not know, but them have."
"Herb's gotten the same model of laptop as you, Nabs. Top-end Mac, isn't
it?"
"A G3 laptop? I guess he gets his kit overseas then. They only started
selling Macs in China a couple of months ago."
Jude decided to interrupt the group's conversation.
"Hello, Mortise."
"Jude! I didn't see you there. How's tricks?"
"Just the usual crap. What's going on?"
"I suppose I'd better introduce everyone. Guys, this is Jude Lester. Jude,
this horrible lot are the movers and shakers from the latest generation of
Clan Saotome. This is Ranma Saotome, heir to their Packmastery and heir to
the Moroboshi line. This is Akane Saotome, firearms expert and heir to the
Tendo line. This is Xian Pu, Champion of the Reformist faction of Joketsuzo.
This is my bloodchild, Ranma's twin sister Ranko Saotome. This is Prince
Herb's almost girlfriend and Ranma's half-sister, Ryoga Hibiki. This is Xian
Pu's elder brother Mao Xing, don't piss him off he drives an Am-built mecha
bike. And last but definitely not least, this is Nabiki Tendo, Akane's elder
sister, werecat and all-round ace fixer. We're presently trying to work out
what to do about Kou Loun, leader of the Joketsuzo Conservatives."
"Clan Saotome, the Tendo bloodline, the Hibiki bloodline, both Joketsuzo
factions *and* the Moroboshi line? Jesus fucking Christ, what have you got
yourself involved in this time, Mortise?"
Mortise smirked. "I don't know, but damn is it fun!"
***********************************
Ranma swaggered out of the nightclub. They had sat and talked to Jude for
several hours.
The vampiress was several millennia old and talking to her was
*fascinating*. Well, more like listening to her. She had told them three
stories. All three spanned a minimum of sixteen worlds and seven hundred
sentient species.
"Hey, Ranma."
Ranma looked back. Jude was standing in the doorway.
"What?"
She handed him a small spherical object. It had a deep groove round the
middle and both halves were heavily knurled.
"If you're ever in really big trouble, twist the two halves of that in
opposite directions. I guarantee it'll help."
"What is it?"
"Let's just call it a deus ex machinia."
"Whatever." Ranma pocketed the thing. "Thanks."
Jude chuckled and went back inside. Ranma snorted and fished his ignition
keys out of his pocket.
Before he could insert them into his bike's ignition someone grabbed them.
"Whatthefuck?" Ranma turned round.
He instantly recognised the girl who was rollerskating away from him with
his keys in her hand.
"GODDAMNIT! THAT BITCH AGAIN?"
Akane swore and sprinted after the girl. Shampoo let out an angry snarl and
drew her Makarov. "Stop or I shoot!"
Ranma ripped the ignition panel off his bike. He crossed two wires thus
turning the ignition on, then touched a third to them, firing the starter
motor. The GSXR came to life with it's familiar bellowing roar. He had
intentionally made the bike easy to hotwire - if you knew which wire did
what.
As his foot was intercepting the gearshift another skater intercepted his
target and grabbed the keys off her.
***********************************
Mi Soon took a draw on her cigarette and leant back against her truck's
bonnet. She shot Lin-Lin a wry grin.
"Ahh, it's great to have a chance to relax, huh?"
"Yeah. Figure we won't have long before Kou Loun comes back."
Mi Soon nodded. "Not if I know her."
"HEY! GETOFF!"
That was Kasumi's voice. Mi Soon and Lin-Lin grabbed their guns and sprinted
towards where the enraged stoned yell had come from.
The sight that met their eyes brought back a lot of old memories. A withered
looking little old man was jumping around dodging varied tools that Kasumi
was lobbing at him. He was wearing her underpants on his head.
Mi Soon blinked. "Happosai? I thought you were dead!"
Happosai grinned at her from behind Kasumi's knickers.
"Hi, Mum! Cool, you don't look pickled any more!"
***********************************
Akane blinked repeatedly as Ranma's ignition keys were waved around in front
of her by the snobbish looking youth who had grabbed them back.
"Excuse me, are these yours?"
Akane jerked her thumb at Ranma.
"No, those are his. Get out the way, I'm-"
"Oh well." The youth tossed the keys back to the skater girl and started
moving to land a kiss on Akane. She reflexively drew her .44 and shoved it
into his mouth.
Ranma shot past and kicked the skater girl in the back of the head, sending
her sprawling. He recovered his keys and pocketed them.
"What the fuck's going on here, Akane?"
"This dickhead tried to kiss me."
Ranma slammed his ticking over Gixer's sidestand down and marched up to the
youth. "Listen here ya fuckhead! That's my job, get it?"
The youth pulled back enough to get Akane's six-gun out of his mouth.
"Excuse me? Since when does kissing become the task of an oaf like you?"
Ranma growled. "Since I married this chick. Now get the fuck out if ya know
what's good fer ya."
"Hey, bro! What the fuck's going on?"
"A goddamn bike thief and some fuckhead who don't know th' meanin' o'
married."
Ryoga rolled her eyes and pulled her spanner out of it's sheath. "Bike
thief? Reckon we should castrate the little fucker?"
"No can do, it's female."
"What, the one with the bootprint in the back of it's head?"
"Yup. I told ya about how Shampoo firsted, right? That's the bitch that set
her off. Wanna help me hospitalise it?"
The skater guy interrupted. "Excuse me, but I cannot permit you to injure my
partner."
"Permit don't come inta it, fuckhead."
"Oh well, it seems I have to get violent." He threw a shuriken at Ranma. The
throwing star stuck into his left eye socket.
Ranma let out an angry yell and pulled it out.
"YA FUCKHEAD! THAT DOES IT!"
He shapeshifted. Thirteen seconds later the skater guy was lying in a bloody
huddle against the wall.
Ranma returned to human form.
"Let's get the hell out of here."
End - part 25.
NOTES
Next - We have the return of the Herb, a massive revelation from Genma,
trucker mayhem and yet more in the way of trouble...
NB - I haven't the faintest as to the availability of Apple Macs in China.
For the purpose of this story they started exporting the iMacs, G3 minitower
and the G3 laptop there in mid 1998.
Something I think I'd better say; if at any stage during this story you
don't understand some of my terminology (I'd expect this to be technical
details about bikes and guns or obscure Scottish slang) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
email me so I can put an explanation in the next chapter. After all, if one
person doesn't understand thing like chatter about carb jets then there's
sure to be a hundred who can't make head or tail of it...
Now, I must once again publicly thank/attempt to embarrass two people (ya,
this is copy-paste from a whole rake of other chapters...)
Firstly, thanks must go to my wonderful pre reader Paula Gray. Thankyou,
Paula. Your suggestions have been a great help since I am shite at plotting
battle scenes.
Biker 1/2 has been given a home on the web! Go to
http://www.kistunesden.com
to find the archive; it's in the 敬osted' section of the site (in fact last
time I looked it *was* the Hosted section!)
Thanks must go to the lovely Carrie for her good work HTMLising Biker 1/2
and setting up the web page; she requested my permission to host the fic.
This request was gratefully received since I know nothing about HTML...
Thankyou, Carrie. Without you Biker 1/2 would have probably been relegated
to the bottom of the TASS archive for years.
Finally, I've been told I misspelled two names in Biker 1/2 - Nodoko (should
be Nodoka) and Jusenkyu (should be Jusenkyo). All I can say is D'OH! I'll
stick with the spellings I've used previously for future chapters of this
fic; other fics will contain the correct spelling. Eh - oops. My dyslexia
shows once again - man I love spellcheckers, but why couldn't Apple make the
AppleWorks spell checker understand Ranma 1/2 terms? Whine whine.
I plan to compile Book 1 when I finish it and post the compilation as one
fic; I will correct aforesaid names when I do so.
Please send any C&C to dog...@ratbike.org - my phone line is down once more
thus I can only access the virgin.net email address once a week at most.
Thanks.
Calum.
I am hereforth putting character descriptions at the end of each episode,
hopefully eventually forming a 詣ho's who' of Biker 1/2. This is an idea I
got from reading the fics of Greg Sharp (i pray i spelt it right)
Next up are Mi Soon, Akira Saotome and Kasumi.
MI SOON
Introduced - Chapter 18 (This time it's war)
Role - Walking encyclopaedia and mentor.
Species - Amerai.
Special powers / abilities - More martial arts than a shelf full of Jackie
Chan movies and a whole slew of really cool powers.
Motivation - To stop her young friends getting themselves killed.
Appearance - Mi Soon did look like a pickled monkey, however she's now
changed her appearance back to what it should be, making her a blue-haired
and youthful looking woman with a distinct familial resemblance to Shampoo,
Akira and Kou Loun. She normally wears combats these days.
Personality at introduction - Mi Soon comes across as a cunning old bat.
That's not so far from the truth - she is an extremely intelligent old lady
- but unlike Kou Loun (her daughter) she is a kindly soul who wouldn't hurt
a fly unless it gave her a damn good reason, in which case she'd liquidate
it.
AKIRA SAOTOME
Introduced - Chapter 13 (Drinking blood is not a crime)
Role - Failing Machiavelli impressionist
Species - Amerai
Special powers / abilities - Akira is A) a werewolf, B) a skilled martial
artist and C) in command of a large and heavily equipped army of
shapeshifters.
Motivation - To get the Hell rid of Clan leadership.
Appearance - Akira is a tall and heavily built man with long black hair and
a moustache. He normally dresses in a black karate gi and heavy boots. His
face normally wears a 係hy me' kind of expression.
Personality at introduction - Akira wants to die. No, really. He hates
himself and utterly detests the rest of the world.
KASUMI TENDO
Introduced - Chapter 1 (In a world gone bad)
Role - Spliffhead, hot-rodder and surrogate mum to half the cast.
Species - Amerai.
Special powers/abilities - Kasumi can smoke (or eat) an incredible amount of
marijuana without it having any noticeable effect. She's also a damn good -
if completely crazy - driver.
Motivation - Wow, man...
Appearance - Kasumi has two general modes of appearance. In mode 1 she looks
like a teenage version of someone's mum, with a vague familial resemblance
to her sisters. In mode 2 she retains the Tendo look but the floral dress is
replaced with a large brown trenchcoat, mirrorshades, a white T-shirt and
denim jeans, in which case watch out because she's about to start driving.
Personality at introduction - Most people pass Kasumi off as being a fairly
ordinary (if young) Japanese housewife. She's not. Kasumi is as smart as her
sisters and the fact she spends her time housewifing only proves it - she
happens to like looking after people. To cut a long story short, Kasumi
Tendo is a genuinely nice person. The only things that detract from this are
her dope smoking, her obsession with hot-rods and her deep-seated love of
industrial heavy metal music.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Ratbike - A motorbike made to look as fucked up and unroadworthy as possible
while still being street legal. Normally painted flat black.
Honda CG125 - Small single - cylinder 4-stroke road bike. Not very much of
anything but supremely reliable and dirt cheap. It's reliability stems from
having very little to go wrong and a low - revving 4-stroke engine.
Honda Fireblade - Insane Honda sportsbike. Mad but beginning to show it's
age.
Supercharger - A pump driven off the crank that forces more air into the
engine thus forcing it to run faster.
Nitrous oxide - Laughing gas. A petrol - nitrous mix burns faster than a
petrol - air mix therefore produces more horsepower and more wear in the
engine.
Top yoke - The yokes are two pieces of metal that hold the front forks
together and to the bike. The top yoke is the upper one. Known as triple
clamps in the US.
Gixer - Slang for a Suzuki GSXR (one of the craziest bikes built).
Chain lube - Motorbike chain lubrication oil.
Header tank - Tank that contains the spare water for the radiator on a
sealed cooling system as found in most cars.
Gasflowing - trimming off excess metal from inside the cylinder heads to aid
the burn rate of fuel within the engine. Gives a small horsepower boost.
Final drive - the drive chain that goes from the gearbox to the back wheel
and the cogs (final drive sprockets) that it runs on.
Conrod - The bit of metal that connects the piston to the crankshaft.
Alternator - Higher tech version of a generator.
Kill switch - The engine's 経ff' switch. Turns off power to the ignition.
Lid / skidlid - Slang for a crash helmet.
250 Superdream - CB250. The next up the Honda model range from the CG125 and
just a bigger version of the same.
500 Superdream - CB500. A CB250 with a bigger bore and heavier frame.
Engine clicking - An internal combustion engine heats up when run. Run it
hard and it heats up more, then when you switch off the engine will start
emitting a series of sharp clicks as the metal cools and contracts.
Stocker - unmodified factory - built vehicle.
Binned - crashed. Normally means written off.
Steering damper - a long, thin shock absorber that fits between the forks
and the frame. Helps steady the steering.
JSDF - Japanese Self Defence Force. The collective Japanese armed forces.
JGSDF - Japanese Ground Self Defence Force. The ground forces arm of the
Japanese military.
JASDF - Japanese Air Self Defence Force. The Japanese air force.
What likes - Slack Scottish grammar. Means something along the lines of
継lease could you explain that'. Only considerably less posh.
Toby - An Inverness Collegeism; slang meaning something along the lines of
widget, gizmo or thingy. Derived from angling parlarance (toby = a small
wooden fish used as a lure.) May be related to the epithet 卦oby Tishbein'
and can be said 卦obyracho' for no apparent reason. (I'm not making this up!
Honest!)