[Ranma][FanFic] Biker 1/2 chapter 26
Doghead Thirteen
Ever get the feeling you're being blamed for stuff you didn't do?
Words in "{this}" kind of brackets are spoken in Cantonese. Those in
"[this]" are in wolf-speak.
Chapter 26: Here we go again.
"Things are coming down on me, they never seem to let it be. It seems like
everything I say just starts another fight" - The Offspring, 'Nothing from
Something'
"It was like, Oh Lord. Not that crap again. I mean, wasn't once enough?
Obviously not - some people just can't seem to get enough in the way of
death and destruction." - Saotome-Tendo Enterprise CEO Nabiki Tendo on Kou
Loun.
***********************************
Kasumi looked from Mi Soon to Happosai and back.
"You mean this geek's like, your son? Ah well, I need to get new Y-fronts at
any rate, man. Nabiki borrowed them last week when she like, got a lift with
me and they still kinda smell of shite."
Happosai removed the underpants from his head. "Oh yeah, shit stains." He
peered at Kasumi's car. "Wow, cool! I see I am in the presence of a
hot-rodder! Awesome! Say, how's Soun doing? This is his place, isn't it?"
"Like, Dad? He's kinda like, fucked up, man. But then he has been for yonks.
Hmm, I figure he could really do with some like, spliff."
"Happosai, how many times must I tell you? Ask before you bags people's
undies!"
"Problem with that, Mum. They NEVER say yes."
"You never do change, do you?"
"Nah. Hey, does this mean we're allowed to stop looking old? That would make
it so much easier to SCORE!"
"Well, I figured since your sister invented that crap and we're not taking
orders from her any more..." Mi Soon shrugged. "Like you said, it makes
pulling a fuckload easier."
"AWESOME! Thanks, Mum!"
Mi Soon grabbed him in a bearhug. "You old rat! Goddamn, it's good to see
you again! Damn have I missed you!"
Happosai did something very unusual. He blushed.
"It's good to see you too, Mum." He hugged her back, being careful not to
grope her in the process. Groping his own mother was too perverted for even
Happosai. He might be a pervert and proud of it, but he had his limits.
Motorbike engines and a truck announced the return of Ranma and company.
***********************************
Genma sat back, glancing out the window and taking a massive swig of his
beer as he did so. First light was just beginning to show on the horizon. He
and Soun had just put in a long night of motorcycle modification.
"Well, Tendo. That's it finished."
Soun grinned. "Damn, makes me feel young." He swung onto the gleaming
streetfighter they were contemplating and fired the engine.
A deranged grin last seen on Kasumi while she was holding a steering wheel
appeared on his face.
"Blat time?"
Genma nodded. "Blat time."
Soun rode out of the workshop; Genma sprinted to his Dodge rat. Ranma was
already up and quietly fiddling with his bike.
Genma blinked. Ranma was lubeing his Gixer's chain? As a rule the boy only
did that on Saturday. Or... or when he was upset.
"Anything wrong, son?"
Ranma sighed. "Is it that fuckin' obvious?"
"Hang on, Tendo. I think me and Ranma need some privacy."
"Family stuff? I'll go for a spin round the block while you two talk."
Soun crammed his helmet on and roared off. Genma lowered his overweight
frame to the ground beside his son.
"What's wrong?"
"This punkin' out crap."
"That again? I thought Shampoo-"
"Nah, not my Firstin'. I nearly went schizoid on some schmuck who was
gettin' touchy-feely at Akane last night."
Genma snorted. "That all? Ranma, of course you did. Someone started hitting
on one of your girls? I'm surprised he ain't dead."
"Huh?"
"Your instincts told you to rip his throat out, didn't they."
"Well - yeah."
"Then you've got one damn strong will, son. Put me and Ai in you and Akane's
place. That guy would have been ripped to shreds by me personally. We Ams
have extremely strong instincts - and those instincts tell us to tear anyone
who tries to take our ladies offa us into a thousand splatty bits,
preferably having the fucker for dinner in the process. You're a mix of wolf
and man, Ranma. To your lupine side your family are your pack and you are
pack alpha. Anyone who tries to take that away from you - especially an
outsider - is in deep shit. The wolf side of you kicks in and it takes a
fuckload of willpower to stop that wolf. One third of your mind thinks
you're a man. Another third thinks you're a wolf. The final third knows
you're both, and tries to balance the two out. In my case the part of me
that thinks I'm a bear is considerably stronger than the rest of me...
Something I guess I should tell you. My mother was an ordinary bear."
"Ya what?"
Genma nodded. "You are a man turned wolf. I am a large black bear turned
man." He shot Ranma a sly wink. "Why do you think I was always more
comfortable in my curse form? Dad was a werebear and a mountain ranger by
employment. He spent a lot of time in the mountains behind Tokyo, in bear
form. And that's where he met my mother. I firsted about sixteen months
after I was born, according to Dad. It took me a while to learn about
humaning, but after getting a shot with Dad's bike I decided it was probably
fun. Dad did some sneakiness and got me legally a citizen of Japan,
officially sixteen years old. The rest is history."
Ranma shook his head. "Weird."
"Life *is*, especially if you're supernatural."
"You mean you're not actually 54, you're actually only 39?"
"Yup. I'm fifteen years younger than everyone thinks I am."
"Well, damn." Ranma shook his head. "So that's why I kept seeing a bear
whenever you weren't about!"
"You really think I'd be able to make eleven goddamn years without spending
time in my proper form? Not. Don't worry about your instincts, son. They are
a part of you, for better or worse. It's just part and parcel of being a
shapeshifter."
"Er... Dad, how did you make yourself look older than sixteen?"
Genma snorted. "Same way Mi Soon did, only less extreme. I guess I'd better
see about getting you taught how to use your Talents."
"Huh?"
"Watch and learn." Genma pulled one of his gloves off. His fingers morphed
into a bear's paw then back. "That's a little example. We Amerai have more
supernatural abilities than you think. I, for example, have two of these...
powers. Firstly the one I just showed you; it is my strongest Talent. It's
known as... oh, how the hell does it translate... body sculpting. That's the
closest translation. The actual name is A'karga. Our entire Clan shares at
least some vestige of this power; what others you develop are up to you and
whoever is willing to teach you."
"So how th' fuck d'ya do it?"
"I am not able to teach that; ask Tendo."
"Why not you?"
"Because Soun Tendo is one of about five people I have ever met who's
capable of describing how to do it in Japanese."
***********************************
Genma shot Soun a thoughtful look.
"So, you've got Ranma, Shampoo and Nabiki doing those exercises you worked
out?"
"Yup. It'll take them weeks to get the basics."
"Well, it's better than years. How about that blat?"
"An excellent idea."
***********************************
Ranma sat back against the wall and started repeatedly willing his
fingernails to grow then shorten.
"God damn. This is strange."
Shampoo nodded. She was doing the same thing. "Lots weird."
Akane frowned. She was cleaning her .44 Magnum.
"Er, Ranma... is it just me or do your fingernails keep changing length?"
"Neither. I'm makin' 'em change length. Yer dad sez it's good practise."
"Er - how?"
Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'm still not sure how ya describe this. Ask yer dad
after ya First Change. It's kinda... like making th' same feelin' as when ya
shapeshift, which I fer one can't describe an' I think no human language has
th' right words."
He scratched his head. "Um - ya can feel th' various bit o' ya changin'
shape an' growin' an' damn does it feel good. Ya get this massive headrush
an' a bigger adrenaline buzz than ya ever felt before an' I guarantee it.
It's really, really strange. It knocks ya full o' energy an' makes ya feel
hyper."
"Oh."
***********************************
Genma and Soun rounded the corner onto the high street, both bikes
travelling at somewhere in the region of sixty miles per hour.
Genma shot his old friend a wicked grin and opened the throttle.
Soun smirked and replied in kind.
Genma did a rolling burnout. Soun wheelied.
The only warning Nerima got was a dual - voiced cry of "YEEEEEEEEE-HA!"
before the two bikes - one long and black, the other short, stubby and an
incredible virulent puke green - exploded into the middle of the midmorning
traffic like a pair of 200 kilo stoned blowflies.
Kasumi looked up from where she was just getting into her car having
finished shopping. "Oh wow, man! It's like, Dad and Genma..."
A maniac gleam appeared in her eyes. Nearby drivers who recognised this
expression abandoned road as the blood red V8 with seats came to life.
And the self-propelled road hazard rode again.
***********************************
Elsewhere - eg back at the house - more motorbikes were roaring into life.
Nabiki still wasn't very sure of what she was doing riding a bike with five
times the brake horsepower of the only other bike she'd ridden - her
father's old CB250. Shampoo had a 'need to wheelie' expression on her face,
this expression being hard to distinguish from Kasumi's 'about to drive'
crazed look. Nabiki saw this and started to worry.
All the same, she turned on the ignition and kicked the wasp-striped bike
over. Its exhausts lacked silencers, therefore despite being only a 500 it
produced a hellish racket fairly similar to Ranma's Gixer, if only about
half the volume.
Ranko waggled her eyebrows at Nabiki as she fired her H-D. She and Mortise
had done a lot of work on the old WD 45 and it was now something close to
road legal condition. Even if all the unnecessary bits had been ripped off -
things like indicators, silencers and the front mudguard. And it still
didn't have a front brake. Or an effective back one for that matter.
Mortise shoved his H-D's kickstart smoothly down. The original bike had
lacked a kickstart but he had added one after the electric start had started
failing to start the motorcycle five out of ten times. After all, he'd had
the bits in his saddlebag and - being a vampire capable of bench pressing
fifty metric tons - he was plenty strong enough to kick over that monster
1350cc V-twin.
Akane thumbed her bike's newly fitted electric start. The engine came to
life with a meaty snort and a couple of backfires before it caught properly
- some bugs had got into the timing after the crash and Ranma was still
ironing them out.
Ryoga nodded and hit the start button on her jetbike's handlebars. The bike
started its familiar yet crazed fireup cycle; first the whine as the turbine
spun up, then a series of sharp clicks as the igniter fired, then a thud and
roar as the fuel caught and brought the engine up to tickover speed.
Mao Xing returned his sister's loony grin. His bike had a more complex
series of operations involved in starting it; first you had to release the
capacitor safety which was down the left side of the fuel cells on top of
the engine, then you flipped the kill switch - mounted on the left handlebar
- to 'run' which introduced raw hydrogen fuel into the reactor, producing an
almost subliminal hum as the pump came on line. Then, the system being
primed, you hit the starter button and all hell broke loose beneath you.
First there was a massive 'Whump' as the capacitor discharge unit started
the the reaction, followed by a growing rumble-howl as the turbine spun up
to speed.
Mao wiggled an eyebrow at Ranma, who was sitting back on his still silent
Gixer. Ranma smirked and hit the starter.
The GSXR-1100 was much more conventional than jet or fusion turbine bikes;
it simple let out a meaty grunt then started. A faint wisp of blue smoke
spat backwards out of one exhaust. The supercharger sprang into life with a
slight whine as it sucked air in through the two huge aircleaners.
Ranma grinned. "LET'S ROCK!"
He, Mao and Ryoga were the first to pull away, their bikes spinning up their
rear wheels and spitting a cloud of blue rubber smoke up. Shampoo went next,
no fucking around she just pulled away and let her bike rear up to her
typical wheelie. Mortise, Akane and Ranko were hard behind her.
Nabiki dropped the clutch and pulled away at a comparatively leisurely pace.
Realising she was being left behind she gave the throttle a meaty twist.
The front wheel immediately jumped off the ground. Then the turbo kicked in.
Nabiki gritted her teeth, struggling to remain in control. This was a
machine, it couldn't frighten her.
She slammed the gearshift into second, snorting at herself as she did so.
Who the hell did she think she was kidding? This particular machine was
producing five times the power of anything she'd ever been in control of
before, and she'd had enough trouble with that 250 Superdream.
Ranma glanced back at her and shot her a cheerful 'thumbs up'. It was about
the only encouragement he could give her over the sonic barrage coming from
the exhausts of the tight pack of bikes.
***********************************
In yet another location - this time the arterial freeway between Osaka and
Tokyo - another insanely powerful vehicle was in motion, this one being a
certain blue and chrome Kenworth driven by a certain Nodoka Saotome. Sixty
tons of Mitsubishi car engines were travelling first class.
A slight haze of good ol' tyre smoke was lifting from the straining bigrig's
wheels as it careened through the traffic at the fast end of 160 miles per
hour. Those engines HAD to be in the Tokyo warehouse within sixteen minutes.
Nodoka had every intention of making that deadline.
She was as concentrated on her driving as Kasumi ever was. One arm braced
across the huge steering wheel, the other poised on the gear selector.
Ranma's home - made airshifter was up to his usual high standards; it had a
bank of buttons, one for each forwards gear. The truck's box had no less
than twenty forwards gears and three reverse.
In this world as well as the business of killing rampaging supernaturals
Nodoka was an ace. The truck's vast chrome bumper was designed to obliterate
obstructions out of the way. Obstructions such as the centre of the
roundabout that was rapidly coming up.
She changed down to eighteenth and rammed the loud pedal straight to the
floor. The truck's six driven wheels bit down hard. The whole rig juddered
slightly as its armoured bumper pulverised the concrete guardrail into its
component atoms, ploughed the shrubbery out of the way, smashed the opposite
guardrail and shot out the other side of the roundabout without the roaring
monster behind it losing one mile per hour of speed.
Nodoka's attention was yanked away from her route by the sight of another
careening big rig. This machine was Mack based, painted blood red and
festooned with lights. It too was doing well over the ton.
She recognised it; it belonged to a friend.
And it had been stolen - in Nerima - four nights previously.
She let go of the airshifter and grabbed the radio handset.
"Hey, people! I've spotted Omo's waggon!"
Yamazaki's voice answered. "Good on ya, Butch! Whereabouts?"
"The main arterial from Osaka, headed for Tokyo."
The Japanese express haulage business was a tight-knit community; unlike in
conventional trucking individuals ruled the roost as opposed to companies.
The conventional truckers were regular employees. Express truckers were
either the elite or outcasts from normal society depending on how you looked
at it. To get into express haulage you only needed three things; a complete
lack of respect for the law, complete disregard for your and anyone else's
safety and a truck capable of breaking the ten second standing quarter. To
flourish you needed a lot more than that; you needed to be hard enough that
the Yakuza wouldn't try to make you the victim of a protection racket, fast
enough that the traffic police couldn't catch up with you and mean enough to
wipe them off the road if they did.
Nodoka had all that in spades. Plus, being born a Moroboshi, she had the
little advantage of being part of a family whom even the government were
scared of.
The other express truckers had at first treated her with disdain; they were
like, what the hell was a woman doing trying to knuckle in to their world.
Then she started shaving vital seconds off the fastest trips other express
truckers had made, and they learnt to respect the diminutive but incredibly
hard Nodoka. Drivers who thought she was in it for the same reason as they -
cash - called her Meatgrinder because of the number of fatal accidents she
had got away with causing. The tiny minority who knew the real reason she
drove the fastest big-rig in Japan just called her Butch.
Yamazaki was one of them. Actually a renegade werewolf, he had been the only
express trucker who didn't laugh at her when she was starting out. Instead
he respected her for what she was capable of.
All of which is besides the point. Express truckers stuck together like
glue. Especially when someone had stolen a truck from one of them, or - God
forbid - dared injure an express trucker.
Kato Omo had been climbing out of his rig at a transportcafe on the
outskirts of Nerima when someone attacked him and stole his empty rig. He
had been badly injured - the attacker had nearly clubbed him to death and it
was a toss up whether he was going to survive. They all carried weapons in
their truck cabs, but Kato hadn't had a chance to use his Uzi.
>From all over Japan, express truckers who happened to be between jobs
started to close in on the location she had reported, minds set on forcing
the stolen truck to stop. Nodoka's hot-rodding cop distraction dropped in
behind the target big-rig and started tailing it from six cars back,
constantly passing on updates of the vehicle's position to the vengeful
truckies.
Nodoka smiled and shifted back up to nineteenth. She could rely on the
others to get what was badly needed - payback. Or so she thought.
***********************************
Ryoga sighed to herself as she cruised aimlessly along. She had yet again
gone and won a race, this time with Mao Xing and Ranma.
"Goddamnit, now how the hell will Herb find me?"
A horn beeped from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder, preparing to
flip the car driving git off.
Instead of a car there was a trio of bulky Land-Rover engined motocross
bikes. One blue, one black, one tiger striped.
The trio of Musk shot her a rocker's salute. Ryoga hastily pulled over.
"Herb!"
"Hey, Ryoga! Where you heading?"
"Er - where the hell am I?"
"Just outside Shinjuku."
"Goddamnit! I've gotta get back to Japan fast-"
"Er - Ryoga - Shinjuku is part of Tokyo, remember."
Ryoga gaped for several seconds. "Huh - whug - unf... D'OH! For some reason
I thought you said Shanghai..."
***********************************
Ranma sighed as he climbed off his bike. He started adjusting the carb that
was causing smoke from one exhaust; the others went inside.
The schoolday was finally over and he could get back to more important
things like planning defences for the house with Mi Soon, Nabiki and Akane.
Once he'd sorted the damn carb, that was.
A familiar rumble from down the street announced that they had a visitor -
his mother. He watched as the Kenworth pulled up.
Nodoka leant out of the driver's window; she was completely dwarfed by the
humungous rig. "Hi, Ranma. I was passing through this way and I thought I'd
drop by to say hello."
"Hey, come on down where I can talk ta ya proper, Mum!"
Nodoka laughed and clambered out of her truck. Just as she reached the
ground her CB radio crackled into life.
"Butch, this is Yamazaki... Hey Nodoka, answer me goddamnit!"
She rolled her eyes and clambered back into the cab, Yamazaki's voice
chivvying at her the whole way.
"Yo, Yama. Wazzup?"
"Um... I got some bad news for you... I'm afraid Amachi crashed."
Nodoka went white. She sat back with her eyes closed.
"Nodoka?"
"Whack it to me, Yamazaki. How bad?"
"He's dead. They shot out his tyres... whoever ripped off Omo's rig had
fucking machine guns. We're still searching for the bastards; last we heard
they were on the outskirts of Shinjuku."
Nodoka murmured something.
"Nodoka? Look, I'm sorry to break it to you like this, but I thought you'd
rather hear it from me than anyone else."
"I'll be alright, Yama. Just... just leave me alone for a bit, huh?"
Ranma stared up at her. "Mum?"
"He was... a good friend. I need some time on my own, Ranma."
Ranma jumped up onto the cabside steps and gave her a quick hug.
"Look, Mum... I'll be around if ya need me, okay?"
The remaining energy suddenly went out of Nodoka's body and she burst into
tears.
"Oh, God, I'm gonna miss him..." She suddenly reactivated.
"I'm going up there to have a look around. See if I can find any clues."
Ranma frowned. "Hang on a mo, Mum. I wanna come wiv ya an' bring my M60. The
shitheads who shot yer friend might still be around an' ya heard that guy -
they got fuckin' automatic weapons."
Nodoka sniffed then nodded. "Might be a good idea."
Ranma dithered for a moment then made another decision. "I'm gonna come in
th' truck if it's okay wiv ya."
She gave him a surprised look. "Well, sure, but... why?"
"Because I don't feel like becomin' roadkill if these folks turn up an' have
a go at us wiv that truck. I'll be back in a sec - I just gotta go get my
shooters."
"I'll wait for you." Nodoka grabbed the radio handset.
"Yama, this is Butch. Where exactly did Godo get it?"
***********************************
The blue Kenworth rumbled up to the police line. They were immediately
flagged down by a cop.
Ranma smirked and pulled out his Special Forces ID. He had been given the
rank of Colonel since nobody wanted to try telling him what to do.
"Yo! I'm th' one in command. We need a look at th' wreck." He waved the card
at the cop.
The man walked over and gave him a funny look. He examined the card then
smirked. "I'll just need to check this out."
He was back a moment later with a shellshocked look on his face. "Sorry
about the delay, sir."
"That's alright - I know I'm a bit young ta be a Colonel. C'mon, Mum."
He slung the M60 across his shoulders and climbed out of the truck. Nodoka
climbed down the other side. Her only visible armament was her katana, which
was likewise slung across her shoulders.
They followed the cop across to the wreck of Godo Amachi's car. The car -
which had been a Ford Mustang - was on it's roof. Both front tyres were
blown out.
Ranma walked round the car a couple of times. Varied cops were photographing
it and digging slugs out of it. A police detective was standing nearby with
a disgusted look on his face.
Ranma walked over to him.
"Any luck identifyin' th' slugs?"
The man nodded. "Yup, they're AK47 rounds. We got one nearly intact one out
of the verge. And a whole mess of brass."
"AK?" He glanced at Nodoka. "Any witnesses stepped forwards?"
"Two so far. Get this - the killer was an itty bitty girl. Apparently she
was in back of one of those speed maniac trucker's rigs - canvas sided
trailer."
"We already know which vehicle it is, Detective. Mum, ya wanna give him it's
plates an' a description?" He turned back. "May help ya. Thinkin' about it,
I need a quick look at th' best condition slug ya got."
"Sure, Shinohara's got them. Ask the young guy in the van."
"Thanks." Ranma dashed over to the van. He had a nasty suspicion he knew who
- or rather what - killed Amachi.
***********************************
Mi Soon looked up from the book she was studying as Ranma swung into the
back of her truck.
"Evening."
"Cut th' cackle. Cow Lone's back. Apparently she came this way from over
Osaka direction. Her people already killed onea Mum's friends."
Mi Soon put down the book. "What?"
"It's easy ta work out. Ya just gotta put two an' two together. Truck what
wuz stolen th' night after th' battle. It belonged ta onea Mum's mates an'
they hurt him bad when they nicked it. Mum spotted it today an' sicced a
hot-rodder pal o' hers onta it. He followed it an' used a CB radio ta direct
th' other truckies so they could find it. Before they gotten there a teenage
girl leans outta th' back an' shoots out his front tyres. Usin - get this -
an AK47 loaded wiv wolfsbane tipped ammo. We use AK's wiv wolfsbane, so do
Cow Lone's goons. I know it weren't our people. Ergo it's gotta be Cow Lone
an' company. We start th' preparations right fuckin' now."
Da end ov dis part.
NOTES
Next - Here comes MAYHEM!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HA!!!!!!!!!!! My writer's block has
finally VANISHED! Two entire chapters written in three days!
FUCKING A-1!
Ahem, sorry about the rant. We're getting very close to the end of book 1
(at last) so before long I'll be able to have a break from this
monstrosity... or maybe not, the next book is one massive adventure story.
Which is probably going to prove easier to write.
Something I think I'd better say; if at any stage during this story you
don't understand some of my terminology (I'd expect this to be technical
details about bikes and guns or obscure Scottish slang) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
email me so I can put an explanation in the next chapter. After all, if one
person doesn't understand thing like chatter about carb jets then there's
sure to be a hundred who can't make head or tail of it...
Now, I must once again publicly thank/attempt to embarrass two people (ya,
this is copy-paste from a whole rake of other chapters...)
Firstly, thanks must go to my wonderful pre reader Paula Gray. Thankyou,
Paula. Your suggestions have been a great help since I am shite at plotting
battle scenes.
Biker 1/2 has been given a home on the web! Go to
http://www.kistunesden.com
to find the archive; it's in the 'hosted' section of the site (in fact last
time I looked it *was* the Hosted section!)
Thanks must go to the lovely Carrie for her good work HTMLising Biker 1/2
and setting up the web page; she requested my permission to host the fic.
This request was gratefully received since I know nothing about HTML...
Thankyou, Carrie. Without you Biker 1/2 would have probably been relegated
to the bottom of the TASS archive for years.
Please send any C&C to dog...@ratbike.org - my phone line is down once more
thus I can only access the freeserve email address once a week at most.
Thanks.
Calum.
I am hereforth putting character descriptions at the end of each episode,
hopefully eventually forming a 'who's who' of Biker 1/2. This is an idea I
got from reading the fics of Greg Sharp (i pray i spelt it right)
Next up are Nabiki, Mortise and Mao Xing.
NABIKI TENDO
Introduced - Chapter 1 (In a world gone bad)
Role - Fixer.
Species - Amerai.
Special powers / abilities - Nabiki is a weretiger; she's also got total
recall and more dodgy contacts than is good for her.
Motivation - To make as much money as possible, oh, and to prevent any of
her family and friends getting maimed or killed.
Appearance - Nabiki has a distinct familial resemblance to Akane; she's
slightly taller, slightly thinner and has shorter, lighter hair. She
normally dresses either in smart business clothes or something tight and
sexy.
Her were-form is a rather large Bengal tiger.
Personality at introduction - Nabiki may seem cold and uncaring; that's
actually because of the iron control she keeps on her emotions at all times.
She is intelligent, sneaky, manipulative and has a massive soft spot for her
little sister; Ranma rapidly endears himself to her the way he looks out for
Akane.
MORTISE TAROU
Introduced - Chapter 10 (Public Enemy #9)
Role - Hardass.
Species - Vampire
Special powers / abilities - Mortise is A) a S'Vek vampire, B) a highly
talented martial artist and C) has the Jusenkyu curse form from Hell -
Spring of drowned Yeti riding Yak while carrying Eel and Crane.
Motivation - To help out Ranma and pull Ranko.
Appearance - Mortise is tall, slender and exceedingly handsome in a creepy
way. On the dot of six foot two with longish curly black hair, he oozes the
sort of intensity that would draw girls like flies if he wasn't so
unnerving. He is always dressed in tight motorbike leathers and a large
black cloak.
His eyes glow red when he gets pissed off or excited.
Personality at introduction - Mortise is a loner by nature; he had a hellish
childhood and still bears the mental scars. However, since becoming a
vampire and getting his name changed those scars have started to heal,
allowing the nice guy beneath to show around the edges. He's tougher that a
dump truck but is majorly attracted to any redhead in the area; being around
a girl with red hair instantly turns him into a big softie.
MAO XING
Introduced - Chapter 18 (Welcome to the madhouse)
Role - Nice guy and mechanic.
Species - Amerai.
Special powers/abilities - Mao is a werewolf, a highly skilled mechanic and
rides a mecha bike. He's also an extremely good shot.
Motivation - To avoid trouble (he should be so lucky...)
Appearance - Mao doesn't look much like his sister; he's slightly taller
than her, has short cropped black hair and normally looks worried. He
normally wears scruffy Chinese army battledress.
Personality at introduction - Mao is almost the archetypical Amazon man; he
is quiet, unassuming and deferential to his sister. However, buried below
that is a wild and adventurous playboy...
A BRIEF GUIDE TO MOTORCYCLE CONTROLS
I have noticed quite a bit of confusion about the control system of a
motorcycle here there and everywhere, a notable example being the fic (which
shall remain nameless) which featured a motorbike with a pedal operated
throttle; the following should clear this up a bit. And anyway I feel like
ranting about bikes.
STEERING
A bike is only steered using the handlebars at low speed EG below about
20-30 mph; high speed steering is done by leaning the bike. This is due to
two things - firstly, if you tilt a rolling wheel it will roll in a circle,
and secondly, if you tried turning the handlebars at speed the bike would
veer violently and probably throw you off.
THROTTLE
*All* bikes have a twistgrip throttle, normally mounted on the right
handlebar. The exception to the right hand rule is American police bikes; so
that the rider can fire a handgun while riding these machines have the
throttle mounted on the left hand bar.
CLUTCH
On most bikes the clutch is operated from the left hand bar lever;
stickshift bikes may have a footpedal operated clutch or a clutch lever
mounted on the gearstick. It's far easier to control a bike with a
bar-mounted clutch at low speed.
GEARSHIFT
Most (if not all) bikes have a sequential gearbox and no reverse gear; you
move the gearshift one way to change up and the other to change down. The
shifter may come in any of three forms; pedal, stick or handlebar mounted.
Pedal operated gearshifts are the norm and usually on the left side; you
kick the shift lever to change up and stamp on it to change down. Older
British bikes have the shifter mounted on the right side and on Grand Prix
racing bikes you press the gearshift down to change up, up to change down.
On stick shift bikes the gear lever may be on either side of the fuel tank;
handlebar mounted gearchanges come in several forms, normally either a pair
of buttons (one to change up, one to change down) or a ring on the left hand
bar grip that you turn in one direction to change up and the other to change
down.
BRAKES
The front brake/s is/are *always* operated from the right hand bar lever;
this is a holdover from pushbikes. The rear brake is almost always worked
from a footpedal; on most bikes this is fitted to the right side, the
exception being old Brit bikes where it's on the left and some stick shift
bikes where it's worked from the left bar lever.
KICKSTART
A kickstart, if fitted, is almost universally mounted on the right side just
behind the footpeg. It folds out to the ready position. On motocross bikes
it rotates clockwise when kicked, on most other bikes it rotates
anticlockwise.
SWITCHGEAR
The remaining controls (choke, turn signals, horn, ignition key switch,
headlamp, dip beam, starter button, kill switch and so forth) can be mounted
in a variety of places - the range of possibilities is almost as large as
the number of different models of bike. The normal set up is: choke directly
on the carburettor body, turn signals, horn, headlamp on/off and dip on the
left handlebar, ignition key switch centrally on the top yoke, starter
button and kill switch on the right handlebar.
STARTING A KICKSTART OPERATED BIKE
This varies from one bike to another; the usual procedure is this.
First, turn the ignition key switch on. You should see a green light on the
clocks; this is the neutral light and indicates that the bike's gearbox is
in neutral. If it doesn't light up, try rolling the bike backwards and
forwards - if there's no resistance then the neutral light has blown it's
bulb. If the bike isn't in neutral change down until you can't get the
gearbox to go into a lower gear then nudge the gearshift up slightly; this
should put the bike into neutral and that green light should show. Check
that the fuel tap (normally mounted just under the left side of the fuel
tank) is on; on the vast majority of bikes the 'on' position is pointing
straight down. Find the choke (usually mounted on the right hand side of the
carburettor/s) and set it at half choke, that's about halfway up. On most
bikes the further you move the choke lever up the more choke you're giving
it.
Now fold the kickstart lever out. Place your left foot firmly on the ground
and lean you and the bike's weight onto it, place your right foot on the
kickstart and shove it smoothly downwards, keeping your knee slightly bent
in case it kicks back. You should hear a satisfying roar from the exhaust
pipe as the bike fires up. Let her tick over for a few moments then switch
the choke fully off; if she stalls out at this point don't worry, the
engine's just cold. Repeat the choke on and kick over process and this time
let her tick over a bit longer before switching the choke off. On really
cold days you may need to give her full choke but if she's well-maintained,
regularly used and a good runner I doubt it.
This done you're ready to ride off.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Alternator - Higher tech version of a generator.
Artic - The UK term for a semi truck. Short for 'articulated lorry'.
Binned - crashed. Normally means written off. Derived from 'bin' as in
'rubbish bin' (the British term for a trash can)
Chain lube - Motorbike chain lubrication oil. Comes in a spray can and looks
a bit like snot.
Conrod (connecting rod) - The bit of metal that connects the piston to the
crankshaft. Shaped approximately like a flat dumbbell.
Engine clicking - An internal combustion engine heats up when run. Run it
hard and it heats up more, then when you switch off the engine will start
emitting a series of sharp clicks as the metal cools and contracts.
Final drive - the drive chain that goes from the gearbox to the back wheel
and the cogs (final drive sprockets) that it runs on. Not to be confused
with the primary drive - the chain/sprocket or belt/pulleys between the
engine and gearbox.
Gasflowing - trimming off excess metal from inside the cylinder heads to aid
the burn rate of fuel within the engine. Gives a small horsepower boost.
Gixer - Slang for a Suzuki GSXR (one of the craziest bikes they make).
Header tank - Tank that contains the spare water for the radiator on a
sealed cooling system as found in most cars and some high performance bikes.
Honda CG125 - Small single - cylinder 4-stroke road bike. Not very much of
anything but supremely reliable and dirt cheap. It's reliability stems from
having very little to go wrong and a low - revving 4-stroke engine.
Honda 250 Superdream - CB250. The next up the Honda model range from the
CG125 and just a bigger version of the same.
Honda 500 Superdream - CB500. A CB250 with a bigger bore and heavier frame.
Honda Fireblade - Insane Honda sportsbike. Mad but beginning to show it's
age.
Kill switch - The engine's 'off' switch. Turns off power to the ignition.
Lid / skidlid - Slang for a crash helmet.
Nitrous oxide - Laughing gas. A petrol - nitrous mix burns faster than a
petrol - air mix therefore produces more horsepower and more wear in the
engine.
Ratbike - A motorbike made to look as fucked up and unroadworthy as possible
while still being street legal. Normally painted flat black.
Steering damper - a long, thin shock absorber that fits between the forks
and the frame. Helps steady the steering. A steering damper is essential for
disabled bikers who have lost the use of one arm as without it there's no
way you'd be able to steer at low speed or pull away one armed.
Stocker - unmodified factory-built vehicle; I think this comes from the term
'sales stock'.
Supercharger - A pump driven off the crank that forces more air into the
engine thus forcing it to run faster.
Toby - An Inverness Collegeism; slang meaning something along the lines of
widget, gizmo or thingy. Derived from angling parlarance (toby = a small
wooden fish used as a lure.) May be related to the epithet 'Toby Tishbein'
and can be said 'Tobyracho' for no apparent reason. (I'm not making this up!
Honest!)
Top yoke - The yokes are two pieces of metal that hold the front forks
together and to the bike. The top yoke is the upper one. Known as triple
clamps in the US.
JASDF - Japanese Air Self Defence Force. The Japanese air force.
JGSDF - Japanese Ground Self Defence Force. The ground forces arm of the
Japanese military.
JSDF - Japanese Self Defence Force. The collective Japanese armed forces.
What likes - Slack Scottish grammar. Means something along the lines of
'please could you explain that'. Only considerably less posh.
Wheelie bin - a square green plastic trashcan about the size of a normal
bin, with a flip top and two wheels.