Hi Ralf,
There is actually a gap between adding a node to a replica set, and the actual initial sync process starting. During this gap, you can change the sync target using the rs.syncFrom() command. On my machine, this takes 40 seconds; however this will vary depending on your system, the type of disks you are running, how long space allocation for the oplog takes, etc. However, once the initial sync starts, you cannot change the sync target.
You can tell when the initial sync starts when you see the following lines in your mongod.log
Mon Mar 24 10:21:21.231 [rsSync] replSet initial sync pending
Mon Mar 24 10:21:21.231 [rsSync] replSet syncing to: XXXXX:27017
Kind regards,
Joanna