Asda price

[Alan]

If easily offended don't read any further.

A guy has a sore elbow tells his friend who says to go to Asda, they have a new machine. You pee into a bottle, put it into the machine and it tells you what's wrong.

The guy is sceptical but gives it a shot. He goes to Asda, pees into a bottle and puts it into the machine. The machine tells him "you have tennis elbow, ice and rest your elbow for 2 weeks." "Thank you for shopping at Asda"

The guy is impressed but still not convinced. He decides he wants to trick this new machine. He goes home and gets a hair from his daughters comb, urine from his wife, and a faecal sample from his dog. He then jerks off into the cup for good measure.

He goes back to Asda with the new sample and puts it in the machine. the machine tells him "Your wife is cheating on you, hire a divorce lawyer. Your daughter is experimenting with crystal meth get her to a rehab clinic. Your dog has leukaemia, put it down."

"And if you don't stop jerking off so much you will never get rid of your tennis elbow." "Thank you for shopping at Asda."