Women

[Alan]

Sorry if you've already seen these, I know some are familiar.

 

WOMEN'S REVENGE

 

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to   purchase.  As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.  'So, do you always carry your TV  remote?' I asked.  'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

 

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.  An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.  As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws'

 

 

CREATION

 

A man said to his wife one day,  'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

 

 

THE SILENT TREATMENT

 

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would  need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight.  Not wanting to be the  first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00am'    He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and  see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00am Wake up!!'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.