[all-xf] NEW: Under the Silver Frog
Maggie
Title: Under the Silver Frog
Author: Maggie
Rating: PG-13
UST to MSR, totally Sallie-safe
Thanks to Char for wicked good beta and devine encouragement.
*
Go, she said.
And so he went.
That was his first mistake.
Well, no. Not his first. Not even his first of the day, really.
First he didn't notice the new perfume she was wearing, or that she
had donned a soft green sweater in lieu of her usual blouse. Or
perhaps his mistake was not in not noticing, but in not mentioning,
not appreciating.
Then, when the visitor arrived, he neglected to see how agitated she
was to have another female in the basement; he surreptitiously
ignored the `another entomologist' comment she made under her breath
after the initial introduction.
And then he did not see how she sunk back in her chair while the
other woman dominated the conversation, or how she turned fuchsia
when blatantly left out of the dinner invitation. Or how her heart
broke when he asked permission to leave with just a cockeyed smile
aimed her way.
And he certainly didn't notice how thick her voice sounded when she
answered him in that one word, those two letters:
"Go." She said.
And so he did.
And left her there.
And that was his biggest mistake of all.
*
It had been a long time since he'd been out with someone of the
opposite sex. Well, except Scully, that is. But that hardly counted,
did it? That was as platonic as going out with Frohike. She was his
partner, his best friend, his, his, what had he called her that time?
His touchstone.
He smiled to himself, remembering the feel of her thumbs across his
lips. Well, maybe not quite as platonic as Frohike.
"… like moths, right? And candles? That's what I always say, anyway."
"Hmm," Mulder said, not really catching it.
He thought of how Scully came in that morning smelling like warm
vanilla and jasmine and how he meant to say something to her, but
forgot. Remorseful, he looked at his date.
Allison repeated the question a third time, a forced look of
bemusement on her face, "I asked if you preferred wine or beer, Fox.
God, are you on another planet?"
He chuffed, and shook his head. "Beer," he said.
"Two beers," Allison said to the boy-faced waiter.
Why was he finding it so hard to stay focused this evening? He
hadn't even had a drink yet. The pretty blonde woman across from him
giggled at something the waiter said, then turned to Mulder and
winked. He let the corners of his mouth turn up out of politeness,
but he really didn't have a clue what the joke had been.
Allison wore a diamond studded bumble bee on the collar of her denim
jacket. Mulder watched as she fingered it, her eyes sparkling as
bright as diamonds themselves.
"You like it?" She asked, grinning.
"I'm not fond of bees," was all he could think of to say, making
Allison`s smile fade.
Cockroaches, bees, little glowing green things that fly up your
nose. Bugs in general were just not good. Mulder chuckled.
Allison looked puzzled.
"Sorry. Not funny," Mulder said. Not to Allison, anyway.
Scully would get it.
His hand grazed against his cell phone and he briefly thought of
calling her. He wondered what she was doing now, if she finished the
paperwork he left for her, if she was curled up in her pjs watching
20/20.
Calling Scully? While he was out on a date with Allison? Now that
would be rude.
But then Mulder decided he could hardly call it a date. In fact, as
he checked his watch for the tenth time since they were seated, he
came to the realization that he didn't even really want to be there
at all.
Something was missing. The atmosphere was nice enough. The music was
fine--a lone piano player banging out jazz in the corner of the
dimly lit dining room. But the woman, while attractive, did not
attract him. Why was he here again?
"Mr. Mulder?" She queried, and he realized he was staring at Allison
with God knows what expression on his face.
"I apologize, Allison, I'm just--"
"You aren't the moth to my flame."
He smiled an uncomfortable smile, "I'm sorry. I'm just
embarrassingly out of practice."
"If there's somewhere else you'd rather be…" She left it open.
No, no, he was supposed to say, I want to be with you. But for some
reason he couldn't bring himself to lie anymore. So, much to her
amazement, and his, he thanked her, and excused himself from the
table, leaving Allison alone with two bottles of beer, a boy-faced
waiter, and the bill. He didn't think to ask her if she could get a
ride home.
*
Mulder practically floated into his apartment. His whole ride from
the restaurant to Hegel Place had been a blur. His heart was beating
fast and furious in his chest. His eyes were still wide with
disbelief.
Something had changed. Shifted. Transmogrified. Metamorphosized. It
was the natural cycle of all things in life, intellectually he
understood this.
Change is good, and all that. Still, he wondered if it would do, if
this change would suit his life, such as it is. Sad that it is. And
he was in love with Scully?
In love.
Scully.
He had to tell Scully.
She was bound to have some thoughts on the subject.
But wait, he had to wait. He had to think this through. Her birthday
was just one week away. He could wait until then. It would give him
time, anyway. Time to prepare and plan. He grinned, then let it
fade. He should prepare for rejection,too.
Mulder paced the length of his living room three, four, five times
before deciding to go for a run. He decided on his usual path, so he
didn't have to think about anything other than his new revelation.
And, as he had so many times before, Mulder jogged past a small
hippie-type store.
He stopped in front, the warm interior beckoning him in from the
February chill. A long haired man walked out just then, bells
tinkling on the door, sending smells of incense and patchouli and
pot wafting to Mulder's nose.
Melissa would have liked this place.
Mulder walked in through the wooden bead curtain thinking about
life, and change, and sisters lost. He breathed in and was flooded
with thoughts of opposites attracting tied together by threads of
commonality.
The girl behind the counter with the dark, hooded eyes asked if he
needed help.
"We've changed." He said to her, and in his own mind he thought
maybe he was high by osmosis. "She's not who I thought she was."
"Good," said the girl, "What fun would that be?"
Mulder laughed out loud.
"You've changed too?" The girl takes took a drag off her joint and
held it out to Mulder, who just waved it off.
"Yeah, I love her. Can you believe it?" He slapped his hand on his
cotton clad leg, "Can you fucking believe it?"
The girl started cracking up.
"Shh," she said, "Shh. Am I the only one that knows?"
"Just you and me."
"Wow. Dude, you have to tell her."
"I will, I'm going to, I mean, I will. Her birthday is next week."
"You're going to wait a whole week?"
"You don't think I should?"
"Man, you gotta get her a present. What does she do?"
"She's, ah, she's really good at autopsies."
Her nose wrinkled up in distaste, "Shit."
"Yeah."
"That's not very romantic."
"Well, she looks cute in her scrubs."
"I could never even dissect a frog." Suddenly, the girl threw her
arms in the air and ran across the store to a small cabinet against
the wall, "I've got it!"
In her hand she held a small pin, similar in a way to the one that
Allison was wearing earlier. Similar, but so different. So…
"Perfect." Mulder heard himself say.
*
The scene was set. Well, the table was set, anyway. He had managed
to avoid Scully most of the day, for fear of sharing his secret with
her too soon.
She came back from lunch complaining that her purse was missing.
He made a non-committal grunt in her general direction, and had to
leave when she called to cancel her credit cards.
Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Mulder uncorked the bottle of shiraz
and set it to breathe. He actually went out and bought dishes that
morning--white with cobalt blue rims. He only bought a service for
four. He only needed a service for two.
The little box he set next to the fish tank so he wouldn't forget
where it was. She would come, he knew. She would come to him like
any woman would when told their partner had taken their purse home
by mistake.
"How did that even happen, Mulder?" She had asked him, her tone
tired and irritable.
"Do you need it? I'm going to be home for the night if you want to
drop by…"
"Drop by?" She whined, exasperated, then sighed, "Fine. I'll put my
shoes back on."
Her knock was firm on his door and startled him away from his
notebook. The pen got tossed on the floor as he ran to answer her
sharp little taps.
"Hi," he smiled, leaning against the frame.
"Where's my bag, Mulder?"
"I'll, ah, I'll go get it. Come in, come in." He stepped aside and
let her into his abode, cleaner than she'd ever seen it, a little
table set with matching dishes and wine glasses and cloth napkins.
"It's in the bedroom, I'll go get it." Mulder all but skipped away
from his partner.
Scully's heart felt leaden in her chest. It must have gone well with
Allison, she thought. Very well.
She didn't think she could bear him repeating of the highlights to
her. New dishes. Good wine. Red. Shiraz from Australia.
Scully felt her face redden. She had mentioned liking Shiraz to
Mulder just a week ago, and he was using that information now to…
She walked to the fish tank. "Hi guys." She said, tapping with one
nail in front of a small calico fish. Then she saw it, her eyes
drawn to the size and shape of something that could only contain
jewelry.
Jewelry? After one date and a lousy forced conversation at the
office? Really, Mulder. She picked up the box and peered inside.
It was lovely, she couldn't deny it. And the simple fact of his good
taste made her want to cry.
"Scully!"
She froze, like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Scully," he said softer, but she didn't look a him, didn't take her
eyes off the small blue box in her hand.
He tossed her purse over the back of one of the chairs and went to
her, standing just a couple feet away.
Now or never, he thought to himself.
"It's a gift." He raked his fingers through his hair. "It's, it's…'
"A frog."
"Yes. It`s silver, with --"
"I see that, Mulder. It's lovely." She snapped the cover closed and
set the box back on his table.
She walked out then, with no goodbye and her purse still swinging on
the chair. He just stood with his mouth open and let her go.
*
"Scully, it's me."
She turned the volume all the way down on her answering machine,
then continued typing, her expression blank. She wouldn't cry; she
wouldn't get mad. She would just leave.
Stupid? Yes. Unprofessional? You bet. But that was just what she was
going to do.
Her mind wandered to the purse she stupidly left at Mulder`s. Her
license, her migraine medication, her new picture of Matthew, her
AAA card. She sighed. Her address book, her date book, her fucking
eighteen-dollar tube of lipstick.
He'd go to work tomorrow. He'd expect her to be there. Thankfully
Mulder's apartment key was the one thing NOT in her purse. She could
go in before he knew she wasn't coming to the office. She could get
her purse and leave, head over to the Quantico and give them what
they wanted; Dana Scully, professor.
It wouldn't be so bad, she told herself. She just had to get used to
being lonely again.
*
In and out, she told herself. Don't make it any harder than it has
to be.
But the paper, so stark white on the dark table, was more than she
could bear. Was it a letter to Allison, stating the obvious, that
Mulder was falling in love with her? Was it a letter to Scully
saying how transparent she was, how she should be more professional,
how jealousy-green was not a good shade with her Irish skin?
She was, in essence, a professional snoop anyway. Who would expect
less of her than to at least steal a glance. But of course, a glance
isn't all she wanted to steal.
Of course she knew it was Mulder's hand, kind of slanted and full of
passion.
Under the silver frog,
The black lapel,
The slip of silk.
Soft is the skin, and warm.
Soft and sweet and waiting.
Above the heart,
That beating space,
Is where I'd leave my mark-
A single kiss to make her mine.
And that kiss, once placed,
Would make all thoughts of leaving fleeting.
"Oh, Mulder."
"Scully." She jumped and turned to see him standing in his bedroom
doorway.
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at work!"
"You too, and I live here."
"I--"
"Scully, I got a disturbing phone call last night."
"Oh?" Her eyes still focused on the ground.
"Yeah, from Skinner. He was all upset." Mulder circled around her in
an almost interrogating way. "Wanted to know what I finally did to
send you packing. He read me the riot act, Scully."
"Sorry."
"And what could I tell him? Okay, boss, I finally decided to tell
her how I feel, and she storms out of my apartment like I just set
it on fire." He threw his arms up in the air, and she took a step
away from him. "Sorry Skinner, I guess she's leaving us. I should
have kept my mouth shut, `cause she didn't want to hear it." He put
his face in his hands, groaning. "Not from me."
"Tell me now." She put her little hands on top of his.
"What?"
"Tell me now, Mulder. I thought all that was meant for Allison last
night. I didn't get it. If it was meant for me, please tell me now.
I've never been more ready to hear you."
He let her take his hands down then, and looked deep into her eyes.
The rejection he so feared was not there. Only faith, hope and love.
He let his heart ask the question, and words from Scully's religion
came answering him from the depth of his soul--`the greatest of
these is--'
"Love."
"Love?" Tears were brimming in her eyes.
"You love me, Scully."
"Yes." She smiled, then, "And you love me too."
Backwards, yes, but exact.
"I bought you a frog pin."
She laughed, letting the falling tears go un-wiped. "I figured that
out. Why, Mulder?"
"Um, it was, we are, we are changing, Scully. Can't you feel it?"
"Yeah." She breathed, just now realizing that his arms had come to
rest around her waist.
"Like a frog goes from an egg to a tadpole to a full-fledged froggy-
thing. We've changed so much, but we've evolved, emerged, better
than before."
"Like a butterfly?"
"Oh," a look of realization crossed his face, "That would have been
a good choice, too, I suppose. Do you not like the frog? It made me
think of biology and dissection, and doctor-Scully-stuff, and being
caught in a frog storm with you out in the woods, and its eyes,
Scully, did you see its eyes? They're sapphires. Blue. Just like
yours. I could get you a butterfly if you want--"
"No. No insects, Mulder." She protests, "I love the frog. And I love
that it made you think of me."
"May I?" He asked, and she nodded.
It felt suddenly colder when he left her space, and made her realize
right then that she never could have left him. Not really. And now
her heart soared at the thought that she wouldn't have to.
Mulder fumbled with the box as he extracted the frog. "Still
kicking," he mused, and she breathed a laugh his way.
It was like being a teenager again, in some ways. Getting pinned.
But that was before her time, not that anyone would have pinned her
in high-school anyway.
It was only when she saw it in his hands, slightly shaking, raised
to her jacket collar that she really saw how beautiful and delicate
the frog was. Dwarfed by his long, thin fingers the shiny little
amphibian was truly a work
of art.
"Oh, Mulder."
With the clasp secured, Mulder took Scully's face in his palms and
captured her lips with his.
It was like an elevator went plummeting downward and Scully's knees
let go.
Mulder tucked a hand behind her and held her body against him,
stabilizing them both.
He released her mouth with a flourish and a pop, leaving her pink-
cheeked and gasping for air.
He looked as if he might laugh.
"What?" she queried, her fingers brushing shyly against her blushing
face. Under his scrutiny, she reddened all the more.
"God, I love you so much."
Her smile, his only answer, was bright enough to light the room.
"You're all I ever want, Scully."
"You too." She let her hands explore the front of his shirt, toy
with the white buttons, her fingers ecstatic in their new territory.
"What should we do about this, huh?" His voice, now soft and deep,
as he deposited a kiss on her temple, making her head tip slightly
to the side.
"You make me yours, I guess." She mumbled into his shoulder.
"You aren't already mine?"
"You haven't `marked' me."
"Do you want to be marked?"
"I don't want you peeing in a circle around me, Mulder, but, like
the poem said…"
"The poem."
"I mean, I know you write, but, I can't believe you wrote me a poem."
"I didn't."
Scully froze against his chest, questions and insecurities welling
inside her; she looked up into his eyes. "You didn't?"
"No," he said, shaking his head, "I think I wrote you about twenty-
two. That was the only one good enough to share."
She laughed with him then, melting in his embrace. They stood there
for some time, feeding off each others' warmth, muscles relaxing,
worries floating away.
His hands eventually made it to her jacket, where he brushed one
knuckle over the frog before helping her off with it. Then the thin
little silk shell he un-tucked from her skirt, and lifted off over
her head. She stood before him, her heart pounding in her chest. One
large hand wrapped itself around her waist while the other moved the
delicate gold cross aside.
"Here," he said, his eyes on her. Two fingers tested the pulse above
her heart before he lowered his face. He hovered there, for what
seemed like long minutes, breathing in the scent of her skin, and
feeling the tiny movement of the air of his breath on her. When his
lips finally touched down they were soft and hot.
She closed her eyes at the feel of him. Both of his arms were around
her now and he held her like that, his face above her satin covered
breasts.
"Stay," he said.
And so she did.
*
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
What would our lives be like without music, dance, and theater?
Donate or volunteer in the arts today at Network for Good!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/pkgkPB/SOnJAA/Zx0JAA/QsMolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
AXF is your list for ALL X-Files Fanfic... all genres, all characters, all ratings.
Automatic newsgroup posting too! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/all-xf
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/all-xf/
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
all-xf-un...@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
pam
> Title: Under the Silver Frog
> Author: Maggie
> Rating: PG-13
> UST to MSR, totally Sallie-safe
> Thanks to Char for wicked good beta and devine encouragement.
Lovely, lovely writing. Especially the very very Mulderish
thought processes and dialogue. As adorable as a full-fledged
froggy thing. ;-)
