If The PTA Wrote The X Files (Part 3)

[Nick Pedicini]

Fun With Fox and Dana

Act V

Look Look Look
Agent Scully and Agent Mulder are driving in their car
They are on the way to the murdering mutant's apartment
What do Agent Scully and Agent Mulder do when they are driving?
Talk Talk Talk
They talk a lot.
They talk about life
They talk about the truth
They talk about each other.
Mostly they criticize each other.
This makes some people think that Agent Scully and Agent Mulder are in
love.
These people are called "relationshippers."
Relationshippers go crazy when Agent Scully and Agent Mulder talk.

Some Relationshippers think Agent Scully and Agent Mulder should settle
down
Some Relationshippers think Agent Scully and Agent Mulder should get
married
Some Relationshippers think Agent Scully and Agent Mulder should have lots
of kids
Snap Snap Snap
What are they? Nuts?

Other Relationshippers don't want Agent Scully and Agent Mulder to get
married.
They just want Agent Scully and Agent Mulder to make passionate love.
They want to see wet kisses
They want to see heaving bodies
They want to see lots of sweaty panting
All of it simulated for network tv.
Why don't they just rent a Shannon Tweed movie?
Why ask why?

Some people are not relationshippers.
They do not want Agent Scully and Agent Mulder to get together
Nomo on the Romo, they say.
Nomo Nomo Nomo
Look at Maggie and Joel, they say
Look at Maddie and Dave, they say
Look at Lois and Clark, they say
Lois and Clark?
Are they kidding?

They do want Agent Mulder to have a girlfriend
They do want Agent Scully to have a boyfriend.

Agent Mulder has not had a lot of luck with girlfriends
One of his girl friends was a horrible blood-sucking bitch
Another one of his girl friends was a vampire.
Another one of his girl friends ran off with a paraplegic scientist
Another one of his girl friends was influenced by a schizoid moon.
Those Amazon Bimbos must look pretty good to Agent Mulder about now

Now Agent Mulder is working with the UN Blonde
She supplies him with all kinds of case busting information.
Just like Mr. Deep Throat used to do
Just like Mr. X used to do.
Many Relationshippers would like Agent Mulder to bonk the UN Blonde.
Bonk, Bonk, Bonk
Beats trading head butts with Mr. X.

Many relationshippers want Agent Scully to have a boyfriend
Many relationshippers want Agent Scully to give Agent Pendrell a chance.
Not in this lifetime, boys and girls.

Oh my, these relationshippers say, Agent Pendrell is so cute
Oh my, these relationshippers say, Agent Pendrell is so loyal
Oh my, these relationshippers say, Agent Pendrell is like a puppy dog.
Do they remember what happened to Agent Scully's last puppy dog?
Chomp, chomp, chomp

Maybe one day Agent Scully will give Agent Pendrell a chance.
Lets hope Agent Pendrell likes latex
Snap Snap Snap

(More to come…….)