(long) Capsule: Treehouse of Horror X
Benjamin Robinson
time for tonight's repeat airing! How's that for timing? It's at
"http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html"; follow the BABF01 link.
The next capsule up will be "E-I-E-I-D'oh! (AABF19)."
Not among the world's web-enabled? That's okay -- a copy the BABF01 capsule
follows immediately. Enjoy!
Treehouse of Horror X Written by Donick Spooky,
Terrifying Tim Long,
and Uh, An Ogre?
Directed by Pete Scary Spice Michels
==============================================================================
Production code: BABF01 Original Airdate on FOX: 31-Oct-1999
Capsule revision A (17-Jan-2000)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
None submitted.
[If you use these summaries to determine if you found the right capsule,
here's a TV Guide-like synopsis: This year's Halloween special presents
the traditional trio of fantastic stories. First, the Simpsons
accidentally kill Flanders and must cover up the death -- until he returns
from the grave. Next, Bart and Lisa are superheroes who must save "Xena"
actress Lucy Lawless. Finally, a Y2K bug in Homer's computer throws the
world into chaos. -- Ed.]
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard: None; special opening.
Couch: [Discussed within the "Quote and Scene Summary" section]
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... for the couch scene, the most of family members appear as characters
from previous Halloween specials? Homer is the Jack-in-the-box from
"ToH II," Marge the witch from "ToH VIII," Bart has the fly head from
the same episode, and Maggie is the alien baby from "ToH IX." Ax-
victim Lisa is new, though.
... the writers' credit now appears at the start of each segment?
... "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening was among those in the Collector's
lair?
... Grampa dozes off at the start of the New Year?
Don Del Grande:
... while the title credit read "The Simpsons Halloween Special X", the
voiceover said "The Simpsons 10th Halloween Special"?
... both Kang and Kodos were wearing black tie, despite one of them being a
female?
... Martin had a reasonably "normal" costume (pirate) rather than something
like his muse costume in THOH3?
... there were no parents at the candy inspection? (What kids do this sort
of thing voluntarily?)
... the force of the stands falling on Lisa was (somehow) strong enough to
knock her boots off?
... The Collector used the term "Doctor Who" to refer to the main character
from that show, when he should have been smart enough to know his name
is just "The Doctor"?
... for that matter, the Doctor he had was Tom Baker?
... all of the people The Collector had were in costume, except Matt
Groening?
Daniel L. Dreibelbis:
... one of the "desirables" waiting in line to get on the rocket was none
other than Frank Grimes? [Does that guy bounce back from adversity or
what? -- Ed.]
Rebecca Gedalius:
... Bart's legs make the rope that is used to hold them over the Lucite?
Curtis Gibby:
... the jack-o-lantern's eyes (which were really Kang's and Kodos')
blinked?
... the last shot of the first segment and the first shot of the second
segment were the same (a full moon with clouds)?
... the symbol representing the artist formerly known as Yeardley Smith
looks kinda like a stick figure upside down?
Joe Green:
... Saddam Hussein appears in the "Stretch Boy and Clobber Girl" opening
sequence?
... CBG's car resembles a Mitsubishi Colt?
Richard Green:
... one of the aliens in the audience in the beginning looked just like
Abe?
... that guy from Futurama [Kif Kroker -- Ed.] can be seen in the upper
right corner of the audience screen?
... MOE made a crank call!?
... the wolf looks like the Alaskan Timberwolf from "Marge Gets a Job?"
... the writing all over OFF's living room strongly resembles the writing
from the study in 2F03?
... [the Collector's prizes] were all being held in giant version of slips
used to preserve comic books?
... Bart & Lisa continue to wear the same costumes from the beginning of
the 2nd act all throughout it?
... some of the plastic slips can be seen being held up with giant black
paper clips?
... Kirk was flirting with Ruth Powers? (What a great couple they'd make
... who knows what awaits ...!)
... uh oh ... looks like the Where Is Springfield debate is FINALLY over?
According to the map in act 3, SNPP is in OREGON ... or possibly
Missouri (except for Abe's remark about it before)!
... Executive Producer (!) George Meyer didn't have a nickname?
R. David Hatten:
... Luke Perry is on board the ship of the doomed, sitting right in front
of Al Sharpton?
Tony Hill:
... Kang and Kodos appear without their bubbles?
... Lovejoy thinks Homer is Ned's best friend?
... most of the audience for Lucy Lawless wears glasses?
Darrel Jones:
... this is the first time a werewolf appears on a Halloween special?
... CBG actually rates something "Best Ever"?
... the Simpsons' waffle iron is back from the shop? (See 4F02)
Joe Klemm:
... Bumblebee Guy was at McDonald's when Springfield blacks-out?
... Prof. Frink was important to the new life on Mars?
Rebecca Lamey:
... the spaceships and Stephen Hawking's wheelchair are still working
during the Y2K disaster?
Ondre Lombard:
... Homer is eating a cereal that doesn't seem to exist anymore? (Along
with singing it's equally antiquated cartoon ad jingle.)
... the family is huddled together on the couch in the living room in the
dark at some ungodly hour for no apparent reason?
... there are not more female fans at the convention since Xena's core fan
base is women (and lesbians)? [This is debatable, I think -- Ed.]
... both "Futurama" and "The Simpsons" have now spoofed the Dick Clark New
Years Rockin' Eve special?
... the waffle iron looks just as bad as it did when Homer made his "Space
Age Out of This World Moon Waffle" in 9F01?
... Marge is not offended by that overly practical and insensitive present?
... our "best and brightest" are a bunch of entertainers (and scummy
businessmen) rather than the thousands of scientists, chemists, et al.
from around the world?
... all these entertainers are living in Springfield?
Adam Long:
... Sherri and Terri are swinging a rope but nobody's jumping it?
... Moe mistook Homer for Maude even after he said "Hello?"
... SNPP in the background of the lake?
... SES has been toilet papered?
... Lisa literally "kicks ass" when the music implies?
... now every main Simpson (except Maggie) has met President Clinton?
... Bart can punch through the wall even without super strength?
... Grampa is asleep during the New Year's countdown?
... the eerie rendition of "Auld Lang Syne"?
... Springfield finally has a McDonald's? (assuming they were all
Springfield shots)
... an "El Bart" (not Barto) in the background when the razor attacks
Marge?
... Otto looting the parking meter?
... Jimbo and Kearney stealing golf supplies?
... Cletus throws a rock at the Golf Shop window?
... the mailboxes running amok?
... all 3 of this season's previous episodes were referenced?
Patrick McGovern:
... only Tom Arnold is an actual guest voice on the doomed rocket?
Evan Ross:
... werewolf Flanders still has his mustache?
... Chief Wiggum is the one that starts the looting?
Mike Smith:
... the alien audience's reaction was dubbed out-of-sync?
... it's the first time the writer credits appeared in each of the three
stories?
... it's the second straight year that the middle story has Bart & Lisa
getting irradiated?
... Milhouse is dressed as Radioactive Man, rather than Fallout Boy?
... the Fox logo doesn't appear anywhere in the final story (No wonder --
they not Y2K-hooked)?
Alexander Sargent Woods:
... Skinner wasn't shocked by Lisa's strength, but rather her calling him,
"poindexter"?
... the phaser has a firing pin?
... Harry Shearer's character "Derek Smalls" is the bass player for
Whitesnake/Quiet Riot/RATT? [Could we call this band "Quiet White
Rat"? -- Ed.]
... Springfield is definitely not on a coast and has a river next to it?
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Casketaneta (Kodos, Homer, Abe, Krusty)
- Julie Kadavner (Marge)
- Nympho Nance Cartwright (Bart, Nelson)
- The Artist F.K.A. Yeardley (Lisa)
- Scary Connelly (Moe, Wiggum, Lou, Frink, Collector, Carl)
- Harry "Dead Till 2005" Shearer (Announcer, Kang, Maggie, Lovejoy, Flanders,
Skinner, Bassist/Derek Smalls, Lenny, Guard, Pauly Shore)
- Special Guest Voice
- Tom Arnold (Himself)
- Dick Clark (Himself)
- Lucy Lawless (Xena, er, herself)
- Frank Welker (Were-Flanders)
- Also Starring
- Pamela Heebie-Jeebies Hayden (Milhouse)
- Tress MacNihilist (Rosie O'Donnel)
- Mummy Mitzman-Gaven (Maude Flanders)
- Karloff Bleed-Her-Gut (Lead Guitarist?, Drummer, Rick James?)
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ "Family Guy" (TV series) {dj}
- Maggie shooting Lisa similar to Stewie
+ "Death Takes a Holiday" (movie) {bjr}
- Ron Hauge becomes Death Takes A Hauge Day
+ "Frankenstein" (movie) {bjr}
- Frank Mula becomes Frank-enstein Drac-Mula
+ "Dracula" (movie) {bjr}
- the other half of the Frank Mula two-fer
+ "Ishtar" (movie) {al}
- Jim "Ishtar" Reardon recalls this flop 1987 movie with Warren Beatty
and Dustin Hoffman
- the Spice Girls (musical group, sort of) {bjr}
- Pete Scary Spice Michels pokes fun at one of the Girls
- "Psycho" (movie) {bjr}
- Norman "Bates" MacLeod takes advantage of the similarity between his
name and the name of this movie's lead character
+ "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (movie)
+ "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (another movie) {dld}
- title and plot based on movie is about teens who accidentally kill a
man, and then cover it up; he takes revenge from the dead
- the raincoat and hook are from this movie {er}
+ Super Sugar Crisp (cereal) {tr}
- Homer eats the cereal and sings part of the commercial jingle.
- "South Park" (TV cartoon) {tr}
- "Oh my God, we've killed Ned Flanders!" reminiscent of "Oh my God,
they've killed Kenny!" (It would have been a better pun to have Maude
say "Oh my God, they've killed Neddy!")
- Alien "probes." {ol}
+ "Weekend at Bernie's (movie)"
- attempting to make a corpse appear alive
+ O.J. Simpson murder case
- Homer says he's "Still looking for the real killers"
+ "Nightmare on Elm Street" (movie)
- Sherri and Terri eerily jumping rope similar {al}
- Matt Selman transformed to Nightmare on Selman Street {bjr}
+ "Scream" (movie) {jk}
- Moe's phone call
- "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret" (book) {bjr}
- Homer's prayer similar to book title
+ "The Fugitive" (TV series) {th}
- the abandoned amusement park might be a ref to the climactic final
episode
+ "Pet Semetary" (novel)
- Homer tells Lisa to hide in the pet cemetery
+ "Friday the 13th" (movie) {tr}
- Skinny-dipping in stream where teenagers had been killed
+ "An American Werewolf in London" (movie)
- Being attacked by a werewolf on a foggy road
+ "Desperately Seeking Susan" (movie)
- title parodies Madonna/Rosanna Arquette film
+ Amelia Earhart (pilot) {er}
- Lisa is dressed like her
+ "Archie" (comic book series) {bjr}
- Nelson is wearing a Jughead hat (Jughead, a lanky hamburger lover, is
one of the goofy "comic relief" characters)
+ "Duck and Cover" (1950s educational strip) {ol}
- Skinner advises "duck and cover" just like the cartoon turtle does in
this nuclear war educational strip.
+ "The Wizard of Oz" (movie) {dp}
- Lisa's feet stick out from beneath the bookshelves which is
reminiscent of the scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy's house
falls on the Wicked Witch
+ "The Fantastic Four" (comic book heroes) {jk}
- Bart and Lisa's powers similar to Reed Richards and the Thing's powers
- Lisa's "Clobber Girl" references the Thing's "It's clobberin' time!"
{tr}
+ Plastic Man (comic book hero)
- Bart's super stretch power reminds me of this old cartoon show [See
"Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {dj} - his uniform is similar,
too {bjr}
~ Clabber Girl (baking powder) {jg2}
- Clobber Girl name similar
+ "The Flintstones" (TV series) {bjr}
- "Clobber Girl" body-slams someone while shaking his hand, like Bamm-
Bamm often did
~ "Powerpuff Girls" (TV series) {bjr}
- premise of this short similar to PPG episode "Collect Her:" crazed
comic book enthusiast kidnaps hero for his collection
- villain distraught over opening of "collector item's" original
packaging
- [{bjr} goes on to say, "This is most likely a coincidence, since
"Collect Her" aired just a few months before this episode, but it does
show how great minds think alike" -- Ed.]
+ "Xena, Warrior Princess" (TV series) {tr}
- Lucy Lawless is dressed as her famous TV character
- [Also, people keep mistaking her for the character -- Ed.]
- "Get a Life, People!" ("Saturday Night Live" sketch) {dld}
- a famous Saturday Night Live sketch in which William Shatner
confronted a bunch of Trekkers who asked the same sort of dumb
questions Lucy Lawless was fielding from Professor Frink
~ "Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down" (movie) {hl}
- obsessed fan kidnaps actress
+ "Star Trek" (series of TV series) {hl}
- 7 of 9 from Voyager and Spock in Collectors' lair.
- William Shatner did sing a hammy album with a memorable rendition of
"Lucy ... in the Sky ... With Diamonds" [See "Comments" section for
more -- Ed.]
- "Best Death Ever" statement is up to par with Kirk's Death in
Generations
+ "Batman" (TV series) {hl}
- similar music, plot
- the Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl scene shift card similar {jk}
- "Superfriends" (TV series) {jg2}
- scene shift card similar to this, too
+ Superman (comic book hero)
- vulnerable to kryptonite, as Superman is
- also the source of Mr. Mxyzptlk {dj}
- desperate villains would throw their gun at Superman after all their
bullets bounced off him {dh}
+ "Star Trek" (TV series) {tr}
- Spock is among the collector's victims.
+ "Gilligan's Island" (TV series) {tr}
- Gilligan is also in the collection.
+ "Lost in Space" (TV series) {jg2}
- CBG has the Robot in his collection
+ "Doctor Who" (TV series) {tr}
- The Fourth Doctor from this series is in this collection (And gets to
be next to Lucy Lawless for eternity, lucky Time Lord)
+ "Star Wars" (Movie series)
- The Collector wants Lucy Lawless to call him Obi-Wan {tr}
- CBG using Darth Maul's lightsaber {jk}
+ "Iron Man" (comic book hero) {tr}
- The Collector also wants Lucy Lawless to call him this
+ "The Smurfs" (TV series) {tr}
- The Collector wants Ms. Lawless to call him "Papa Smurf" as well
(shudder)
+ "Battlestar Galactica" (TV movies) {tr}
- The Collector mentions the movies and actor Lorne Green
+ "Life's a bitch, and then you die" (popular saying) {jc}
- "Life's A Glitch, And Then You Die" spoofs this
+ "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve" (TV specials) {tr}
- Annual New Year's Eve countdown show, hosted by Dick Clark
+ "The Terminator" {dld}
- Dick Clark's metal skeleton similar to the Terminator's
+ "Maximum Overdrive" (movie) {jk}
- machines run amok and try to kill humans
- [Coincidentally, Yeardley Smith appeared in this film -- Ed.]
- [And I'm sure she's just delighted that people keep mentioning it --
Ed.]
- "Le Voyage Dans La Lune (From The Earth To The Moon)" (movie) {hl}
- similar 45 degree launching pad seen in 1902 film
+ "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" (book series) {hl}
- useless people tricked into evacuating in another spaceship
- [{er} says the specific book is, "The Restaurant at the End of the
Universe" -- Ed.]
+ "Deep Impact" (movie) {jc}
- restricting the people being saved from extinction to the best and the
brightest
+ "When Worlds Collide" (movie) {jk}
- rocket ship for those leaving Earth to start a new civilization on
Mars
- "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick (book) (a.k.a.
"Blade Runner") {jc}
- evacuating humanity from Earth to Mars in the wake of nuclear
holocaust
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- Kang & Kodos {gg}
- [7F04] K&K's first appearance
- [8F02] K&K enslave the earth after it declares world peace
- [9F04] K&K watch as Springfield is overrun with zombies
- [1F04] K&K watch as the gremlin wrecks the bus
- [2F03] K&K watch as Homer tries to get back to his normal time
- [3F04] "Remember the story: we're newlyweds on our way to Earth Capital."
- [4F02] K&K disguise themselves as Dole and Clinton
- [5F02] K&K contact their parents when they are hit by the French missile
- [AABF01] Kang is revealed as Maggie's father
- [7G12] Krusty's pacemaker {ms}
- [7F13] Bart wants to look at pornography {ol}
- [7F15], [AABF21] Revolving restaurant {al2}
- [8F02] Homer as jack-in-the-box
- [8F07] Homer refers to Milhouse as a wiener {rg}
- [9F04] One of the Simpson parents kills Ned Flanders {gg}
- [9F05] Bart attacked by Alaska timberwolf {hl}
- [9F11] Comic Book guy puckers up like Hans Moleman {hl}
- [9F20] God punishes Ned for doing something "sinful" {ol}
- [9F20] Jimmy Carter appears, albeit in statue form {bjr}
- [1F11] Spike Lee appears {jg2}
- [1F13] Someone's head blows up in outer space {dj}
- [1F14], [AABF06] Homer is Ned's best friend {dj}
- [1F16] "Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart" is sung {dj}
- [2F03] Scary message written repeatedly on the walls
- [2F08], [AABF05] Lost in Space Robot referenced {ah}
- [2F16], [2F20] A Simpson nearly kills someone {rg}
- [2F17] X-rays give someone superpowers {jg2}
- [2F17] Milhouse in Radioactive Man movie {ms}
- [3F01] "Diddily" appears in the title {gg}
- [3F02] "Dear God, It's Me Margaret" referenced {bjr}
- [3F03] "Lisa the Vegetarian" - Paul McCartney appears {al2}
- [3F04] Sinister messages written on the wall {jg2}
- [3F08] Dr. Who appears {bjr}
- [3F12] reference to Krusty's pacemaker {rg}
- [3F12] Krusty is believed to be dead {jg2}
- [3G04] Bob Denver appears {bjr}
- [4F05] Homer refers to Milhouse as a wiener {th}
- [4F12] A comic book signing takes place {hl}
- [4F12] Convention of nerds pepper celebrity with questions about asinine
continuity errors
- [4F20] Mid-show theme songs {rg}
- [5F02] Bart as half-fly
- [5F02] Marge in her witch's garb
- [5F05] The scientist from this episode appears {al2}
- [5F11] Bill Gates appears {al2}
- [5F15] Bart and Lisa have a TV show {rg}
- [5F19] Ron Howard appears {al2}
- [AABF01] Maggie as half-alien {bjr}
- [AABF01] Bart & Lisa get [zapped with] radiation {ms}
- [AABF06] "I Know What You Did Last Summer" is referenced {hl}
- [AABF06] Homer and Ned on OFF's roof {jg2}
- [AABF06] Vultures attack Homer and Ned {hl}
- [AABF09] "... And that's the end of that chapter." {gg}
- [AABF18] Stephen Hawking appears {al2}
- [AABF22] Mark McGwire appears
- [AABF23] Mel Gibson appears {al2}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Special Halloween credits {ddg}
(Note ^3 refers to a 3 as an exponent/superscript, and something
that looked like Prince's "symbol" appeared above "(The Artist
F.K.A. Yeardley)" - by the way, F.K.A. means "formerly known as")
[Opening Credits]
Created by GRAT MOANING
Developed by MAIMS HELL BROOKS
BAT GROANING
SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
Co-Executive Producers IAN MAXGROAN-DAMNED
DEATH TAKES A HAGUE DAY
Co-Executive Producers DANIEL "DAN" GREANEY
DONICK CRAZY
FRANK-ENSTEIN DRAC-MULA
Supervising Producers GHOULIE HACKER
LARINA + DEAD = ADAMSON
Producers LARRY DOYLE!!!
TOMB MARTIN
CAROLYN OMEN
Producers JOHN FRINK^3
DON "EXCRUCIATING" PAYNE
Co-Producers NIGHTMARE ON SELMAN STREET
TIM I-SCARE-YOU-LONG-TIME
Consulting Producers TOM G-G-G-GAMMILL
AXE PROSS
DAVE "MONSTER HIT" MIRKIN
Consultant TRIPLE ADMIRAL JOHN SWARTZWELDER
Supervising Director JIM ISHTAR REARDON
Produced by RICHARD "ALLEN" RAYNIS
BONDAGE PIETILA
Produced by DSI...@THEGHOULARDILOUNGE.COM
RICHARD NONCONFORMING SAKAI
Directed by PETE SCARY SPICE MICHELS
Written by DONICK SPOOKY (I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did)
TERRIFYING TIM LONG (Desperately Xeeking Xena)
UH, AN OGRE? (Life's a Glitch, Then You Die)
[Closing credits]
Executive Producers MIKE "INSERT SCARY NAME" SCULLY
GEORGE MEYER
AL "I STILL MURDERED MIKE REISS" JEAN
Executive Producers MAIMS HELL BROOKS
MATT GRUESOME
SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
Starring DAN CASKETANETA
JULIE KADAVENER
"NYMPHO-NANCE" CARTWRIGHT
(THE ARTIST F.K.A. YEARDLEY)
SCARY CONNELLY
and HARRY "DEAD TIL 2005" SHEARER
Special Guest Voice TOM ARNOLD
DICK CLARK
LUCY LAWLESS
FRANK WELKER
Also Starring MUMMY MITZMAN GAVEN
PAMELA "HEEBIE-JEEBIES" HAYDEN
TRESS MACNIHILIST
KARLOFF BLEED-HER-CUT
Animation Producer MORBID MIKE
Line Producer THE REMAINS OF LAURIE BIERNACKI
Animation Executive Producers LOLEE "LUGOSI" ARIES
HALOED GREAT PUMPKIN DAVID PRITCHARD
Associate Producer DOMI "BACKIN' THAT THANG UP" BRAUD
Theme by THE BLOODY ELF
Music Decomposed by SHEER TERROR CLAWS-SON
Casting by BLOODBATH & BEYOND
Editors SHELDON MICHAEL BRIDGE
DEADLY DON BARROZO
LYCANTHROPIC LEE HARTING
Animation Production Manager for Gracie Films WRETCHED K. CHUNG
Post Production Supervisor HEMORRHAGE BOY
Post Production Coordinator Y2KAUFMAN
Dialogue Sound Editors BOBBY "THE SCARY MOOK" MACKSTON
TELEMUNDO GREENE
NORMAN "BATES" MACLEOD
Music Mercenaries LUDI-CHRIS
BOB "THE CREATURE" BEECHER
Sound Effects Editor SIVART F. SREWOP
Re-Recording Mixers RUSSELL "THE MUSCLE" SMITH
BILL FRANKENFREESH
Creative Consultant BRAT GROENING
Executive Creative Consultant MAIMS HELL BROOKS
- Church sign {bjr}
First Church
of Springfield
NED FLANDERS
HUSBAND, FATHER
WACKY NEIGHBOR
- Kids waiting to get their candy X-rayed
Name (if known)/Costume
Unknown / Witch
Unknown / Ghost
Lewis / Convict
Unknown / Superman
Unknown / Doctor
Unknown / Star Trek Crewmember
Unknown / Masked Superhero
Unknown / Doctor
Lisa / Amelia Earhart
Unknown / Native American
Bart / Superhero
Sherri & Terri / Ballerinas
Martin / Pirate
Nelson / Jughead
Ralph / Cop
- The people CBG collected {jc}
-- Yasmine Bleeth (as Caroline Holden)
-- Lucy Lawless (as Xena)
-- Dr. Who ({tdm} says it's Tom Baker's version)
-- Matt Groening
-- Jeri Ryan (as Seven of Nine)
-- "Lost In Space" robot
-- Bob Denver (as Gilligan)
-- Leonard Nimoy (as Spock)
- Sign on rocket ship {bjr}
OPERATION EXODUS
NONSTOP TO MARS
- People in line for the Exodus rocket (Starting at the front) {gg}
-- Nurse
-- Bill Gates
-- Ron Howard
-- Jimmy Carter
-- Stephen Hawking
-- Mel Gibson
-- Paul McCartney
-- Unknown (some nerd with glasses)
-- Michael Jordan
-- The scientist from "Lisa the Skeptic"
-- Michelle Kwan
-- Mark McGwire
-- Prof. Frink
-- OFF
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
* Kang calls it the 10th anniversary show, but it's really the 9th
anniversary of the first THOH. {th}
+ When Kodos said Kang had to borrow a human brain, he sounded like Homer.
{th}
* Homer had a box of Super Sugar Crisp, but the word "Sugar" was replaced
with "Honey" years ago. {ddg}
* After Ned announced that he was undead, his glasses should have broke when
Homer poked him in the eye. {ds}
* Why would poking a stick at an eyeball make a squishing noise? {ol}
- The writing disappears from the door when Homer points. {al2}
- The boat painting in the couch scene was different -- it had more clouds
than normal? {cg}
= Homer's seat belt disappears. {al2}
* Ned was bitten by a regular wolf, not a werewolf. {al2}
+ When Marge hit Flanders, he was wearing glasses. But when they replay it
from Flanders' point of view, he wasn't wearing glasses. {jc}
= In the first act, the left side of the house had no windows, and in the 2nd
act there was a window in the living room on that wall. Both of these are
incorrectly drawn. {rg}
+ Why was Skinner at the funeral if he claimed in AABF06 that he didn't know
who Flanders was? {rg}
= Ralph's apple should have gone through the x-ray machine first, but the
Chief checks out two other treats before he finds the razor blade in the
apple. (One of them looks like a candy bar.) {cg}
* Lucy Lawless doesn't speak with her New Zealand accent. {jc}
+ Didn't, in AABF06, the Comic Book Guy have a green Gremlin? {er}
= In the establishing shot of the Collector's dungeon, there wasn't a bag to
the left of Lucy Lawless, just stairs, but later Yasmine Bleeth shows up
there. {cg}
= The tape on Lucy Lawless' comic protector disappeared when it showed her
from the back. {ds}
* Why couldn't Stretch Dude just stretch out his leg and grab something to
pull them so they wouldn't drop into the Lucite? {cg}
* Just because one major computer isn't Y2K compliant doesn't mean that all
computers will stop working. [Tell that to the Y2K doomsday people -- Ed.]
* Airlines are being careful not to have planes in the air to prevent then
from not working due to Y2K. [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
+ Ruth appeared in the crowd outside Town Hall, even though we just saw her
at the Simpson's party. {rg}
* Robert Urich was in 14 TV shows, not 11. [Actually, more than that. See
"Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {jc}
+ I don't remember an ice machine on OFF's refrigerator. {er}
+ Frank Grimes appears in line ... isn't he dead? {rg}
* Why didn't Homer pass himself off as Krusty the Klown? He had the
invitations with him. {bjr}
* Lisa is expected on the rocket ship, but she didn't receive a letter.
{al2}
* What good was going to Mars? There's no way anyone travelling there could
survive. At least Earth still had air and water -- for the moment, anyway.
{ddg}
* I don't think heads explode in space. I think they would just suffocate.
[See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {dt}
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Nate Birch: [...] The first story "I know what you diddily-iddly-did" was
certainly the best, as it was one of the first serious attempts at horror
movie parody a Halloween episode has taken on in a while, plus unlike most
recent Halloween stories, it was actually more of a horror story than
sci-fi. "Desperately seeking Xena" was okay, it started off slow, but as
soon as the comic book guy appeared it got a lot better, Lucy Lawless'
guest performance was pretty good too. I can see why no writer actually
attached their name to the third, as it was just a bunch of semi-funny
sight gags with a stupid predictable ending. On the plus side this episode
featured surprisingly good animation, that felt and looked genuinely
spooky. (B+)
Don Del Grande: Much as I hate to say it, "worst Simpsons Halloween Special
ever"; okay, the jokes were there, but none of the endings were anything to
speak of (and in the case of the first story, the "sudden" ending stopped
the story cold). While they were at it, the superpowers story could have
been better than a "Batman" clone. (B+)
Nicolas Di Candia: "I Know What You Diddily-Did": it would probably be better
to me if I had seen "I Know What You Did Last Summer". I, however, liked
it, despite it being a little too fast moving. "Desperately Xeeking Xena":
the best segment this year. Many good superhero references, plus a decent
premise. "Life's a Glitch, Then You Die": a good premise that was bad
executed. Good Y2K references, but I didn't buy the whole "leave earth"
thing. (B)
Joe Green: "I Know What You Diddily-Did": This was mostly pretty weak, and
the goofball plot twist didn't help. "Desperately Xeeking Xena": I had
trouble seeing how this constituted a horror story ... but ironically
enough, it was the best segment. The digs at CBG's fanboydom were sharper
than usual. "Life's a Glitch and Then You Die": Like the first part, this
one had a weird out-of-left-field plot twist, but at least this time it was
funny. I liked the celebrity jokes, like Dick Clark turning out to be a
robot and the whole Tom Arnold bit. (B-)
Tony Hill: I don't think this is one of the five best THOH episodes, but it
had its moments. It was interesting how many refs to past THOH eps there
were in that one first shot of the family on the couch. Working Xena in
seemed to be a stretch, but I'll give it a (B)
Dan Hogg: Well, another Halloween episode come and gone. First segment "I
Know What You Diddily-Did": Kinda weak. The refs to 'I Know What You Did
...' weren't that great. Ned's corpse scene was funny, other good jokes
here and there, but still weak. The ending was pretty disgusting, though;
"Desperately Xeeking Xena" was a bit better, because it was different.
Nice comic book jokes. "Life's A Glitch, Then You Die" has some funny Y2K
jokes, and I liked the ship Homer and Bart were on. The ending was also
disgusting, though. So, my overall grade for this is (B-)
Darrel Jones: A nice Halloween special, though not as good as last year's.
The opening segment was okay. The bit about Ned Flanders was just stupid.
The part with Bart and Lisa as superheroes was an excellent Batman parody
(or just superheroes in general), and I liked the evil Collector. The Y2K
part was absolutely freakin' hilarious, until the Simpson family got to the
launch site. Then, it was mission aborted. A mixed bag. I give it a 8/10
(an extra point cuz it's Halloween). (A-)
Perry Justus: I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did: Lame. Homer's
characterization was absolutely abysmal, and Flanders's unnecessary
"diddily's" were tiresome. I can't think of anything positive about this
one. Desperately Xeeking Xena: The worst of the three Halloween
installments. Absolutely ridiculous storyline, and despite that it's
supposed to be a parody of "superhero" cartoons, it completely falls flat.
Life's a Glitch, Then You Die: Probably the best of the three, but that's
really not saying much. The celebrity cameos were embarrassing, and
Homer's stupidity has reached a new low. The ending felt rushed, as well.
Overall, absolutely pointless. One of the worst, if not the worst, THoHs
in recent years. (D-)
Ondre Lombard: The Treehouse of Horror premise -- like The Simpsons in
general -- is getting old. Though, this wasn't an especially bad episode.
In fact, I think "I Know What You Did-Diddily-Id" was screaming to be a lot
better than it actually was. The way I'd sum it up is, there was one very
good skit sandwiched between two very underachieving ones. "Desperately
Xeeking Xena" was great; well-timed, nicely put together, and hilarious.
The last one had some good moments, but a lot of it was dumb and unnatural.
When the THOH series turns into just an excuse to do absurdly unfeasible
things rather than an actual horror installment, you know it's time to
throw in the towel. (B)
Patrick McGovern: Overall, while I wasn't too hot on the last part, this was
a stellar THoH offering (On par with last year's masterpiece). Why can't
they write this good all year? (A)
Nicolas Orechwa: This year's installment of the Halloween special was
marginally better than last year's. The best segment was the last one
which I thought was a pretty good satire of the Y2K paranoia gripping the
world at the moment. The middle episode had its moments, but overall was
unmemorable. The first episode was not funny to begin with and then ended
abruptly. (C+)
Abhi Rey: I found it hard to review this night's treehouse of horror. The
writing was very good, capturing the spooky tone of all the great Halloween
specials. The stories were surprisingly involving and colorful. This
episode did a much better job in maintaining the horror/sci-fi themes
expected in a Halloween episode than last year's episode. The problem:
this episode's sense of humor struggled. There were some hilarious moments,
like the theme song of "Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl", the Y2K-related
disasters, Homer imitating Flanders, Homer blaming Marge of murder, Xena
deciding not to free herself ... There were also some cringing gags, such
as the terribly-done celebrity-bashing, some of the Collector's scenes, and
the comic-book satire wasn't nearly as great as it could have been.
Overall, a good effort, but somewhat unsatisfying. (B-)
Tom Rinschler: OF the three parts, the second definitely stands out from the
other two. The first and third, while at times quite funny, seemed to lack
direction, with plots that started in one place and ended in another.
These two rate only slightly above average, based on humor alone.
"Desperately Xeeking Xena", on the other hand, ranks among the best of the
"THOH" shorts ever. This section completely satirizes every comic book
cliche, and, although I didn't think it was possible, makes the
CBG/Collector even more of an overly-obsessive sci-fi/comic book fan than
he is in the regular series. Lucy Lawless shines in a section that had me
ROFL from beginning to end. (A-)
Evan Ross: Eh, I don't know. Last year's THoH was the best for a while, and
this one was kind of disappointing. "I Know What You Diddily-Did" was
hyped up so much, I expected something really funny. Instead, we got a
pretty stupid ending with none of the horror at all. I would have loved to
have seen Ned hunt down the Simpsons. "Desperately Xeeking Xena" was too
much of an action short, and those don't really fit well with OFF's
universe. The Halloween part was little to none. "Life's A Glitch ..."
wasn't all that great either. It was just a rehash of "The Homega Man",
except Bart was in it as well. I hope this isn't the last THoH. (C+)
Eric Sansoni: The slickest and most enjoyable Halloween Special in 4 years.
"Diddily-Did" was the spookiest, with mostly clever gags, but the plot
needed more wrap-up. Segment The Second was more of a Spin-off Showcase
than a Treehouse of Horror, but no matter. The parody of kiddie superhero
shows, mixed with the most extended satire on "comic-book-guy" values to
date, made this one of the wittiest shorts ever. Even Xena's guest shot
sparkled with invention. The all-around great animation shined most in the
visually complex Y2K short, but the Y2K stuff was more interesting than the
funny, but more routine celebrity bashing detour at the end. New(?) co-
exec. producers Meyer & Jean may be pulling the show from its slump. (A-)
Mike Smith: Every year, a THOH is one of the highlights of the season. A lot
of fun from start to finish. This year is no exception. The couch gag is
a classic! Act 1 is as what opening stories of previous THOHs have-a weak
ending. Act 2 is okay, but, the appearance of Lucy Lawless is great to
watch again. Act 3 give me the scare, I can't describe it. Not the best
THOH (Not as much as last year's), but, well worth watching a couple more
times (As is THOH VI). (A-)
Yours Truly: The "Treehouse of Horror" is a reliable bright spot for the
season, and the tradition continues this year. "I Know What you
Diddily-Iddly-Did" is this year's lone "horror" story; it starts great and
has a good surprise ending, but still feels inconclusive. The ending for
"Life's a Glitch, Then You Die" does have closure but is faintly
depressing. (And the story will seem dated now that Y2K passed quietly.)
"Desperately Xeeking Xena" is easily the best segment, thanks to bravura
performances by Comic Book Guy and guest Lucy Lawless. A little off last
year's pace, but it's better than getting your yard T.P.'d. (B+)
AVERAGE GRADE: B (3.02) Std Dev.: 0.6988 (24 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Staff Notes
Capel Cleggs provides some behind-the-scenes information: Since tonight's
episode was, among other things, the first look we get at the new staff
credits for season 11, I thought I'd point out a few things
THE SIMPSONS now has six executive producers; this is probably a record for
the show. They also have the rather incredible total of five co-executive
producers: Maxtone-Graham, Hauge, Cary, Greaney, and Frank Mula.
George Meyer, after ten years on the show, is *finally* an executive
producer. About time too. And Al Jean is an executive producer too, which
means that he has executive-produced the show at *four* different times:
the fourth season, the "extra" episodes in the sixth season, the "extra"
episodes in the eighth season, and now season 11.
Among those gone: David Stern (whoa, *that* was a short comeback), Jace
Richdale (co-executive producer for two years and a consulting producer
from seasons seven through ten), and Brian Scully.
Julie Thacker, Mike Scully's wife, is still with the show, however.
Mike Scully is still an executive producer, and the "show runner," which
means that he's in charge of ... running the show. Meyer and Jean are also
executive producers, which I think basically means that a) They have a lot
of authority on what goes in the finished product, and b) They get paid
more. :)
>> "He's dead, Jim"
Homer's method of testing Flanders' health is actually well-established,
according to Tony Hill: The eye poke test is what cops use to see if a
person is alive. Other than that, no one besides a coroner is allowed to
touch a body, not even to check for identification.
>> "I must use this power only to annoy!"
Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Having Bart do a Plastic Man character was a stroke of
genius: PM originally started life as a petty gangster, Eel O'Brien, who
gained his powers as a result of a combination of a gunshot wound and
chemicals from a vat he fell into when he was shot. Even though he vowed
to use his new powers for good, he basically always acted like a wise-ass,
even playing some practical jokes on crooks, in his greatest adventures.
>> Lucy Lawless, Warrior Actress
Tom Rinschler: "Xena, Warrior Princess" is a syndicated series, retelling the
adventures of an Amazon princess in the time of the Greek myths. It is a
spin-off of an earlier series "Hercules, the Legendary Journeys", and the
two crossover frequently. While they periodically manage to keep the Greek
mythological setting intact, more often than not, they bring in people that
are somewhat, or totally completely, anachronistic (Xena with Cleopatra and
Caesar? Xena would have lived 1200 years before them!). History and Greek
Mythology being two favorite subjects of mine, I only watch "Xena" (and
"Hercules" for that matter) to catch the more boneheaded mistakes and laugh
at them (or cringe, depending on how awful the mistake was). And well ...
er ... for the skimpy outfits too (embarrassed grin).
The show has a wide cult following, and star Lucy Lawless, like many actors
in cult shows and movies (many of whom were also seen in the Collector's
hideout), has had problems with overly-obsessive fans, who can't seem to
tell the actor from the character.
Bill McNeal: You really felt the need to explain that in a newsgroup full of
fanboys?
>> A wizard must have done it
Tony Hill: The horse problem Frink brought up is a continuity error. It's
easy to see how such an error could happen in an animated show, but less
likely for something like that to happen in a live-action show like "Xena."
>> And you wonder why actors are leery of Internet fans
Haynes Lee: The breastplate gag is similar to what happened in real life to
Lucy Lawless at a ball game. When she raised her arm one of her breasts
popped out and pictures of this were posted to the internet within hours.
Richard Kim: Actually, it was a hockey game, a playoff game between the
Detroit Red Wings and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, I think. This happened
when she was singing the national anthem.
>> The Collector's Stable
Jeff Cross contributes: A brief look at the people the Collector has bagged
(literally)
Yasmine Bleeth, actress: been in the business since a Johnson's Baby
Shampoo ad at the age of six months. Has been on "Ryan's Hope," but was
really put on the map by "Baywatch" as lifeguard Caroline Holden. Is
currently on "Nash Bridges" as Inspector Caitlin Cross.
Lucy Lawless, actress: stayed under the radar until appearing on "Hercules:
The Legendary Journeys" as Xena, which was later spun off into its own
show.
Doctor Who: British sci-fi character who has been played by no less than
eight actors: William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker,
Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, and Paul McGann.
Matt Groening, cartoonist: creator of the shows "The Simpsons" and
"Futurama," and the comic strip "Life in Hell."
Jeri Ryan, actress: former Miss Illinois. Has appeared on "Melrose Place"
and "Dark Skies." Currently on "Star Trek: Voyager" as ex-Borg/ship's sex
object Annika "Seven of Nine" Hansen.
"Lost in Space" Robot: played by Bob May and voiced by Dick Tufeld. Most
famous for flailing around and shouting "Danger Will Robinson!"
Bob Denver, actor: played Gilligan from "Gilligan's Island"
Leonard Nimoy, actor/director: made famous for his role of Spock on "Star
Trek." Has also been on "Mission: Impossible," replacing Martin Landau;
ironically, Landau was originally considered for Spock.
>> At least she's in near mint condition
Bill McNeal softly grumbles: The problem that I find is that the storyboard
artists didn't do their job- the Seven of Nine we see is wearing her
original silver catsuit, which was used for an episode or two and all of
the promotional shots seen on obscure T-shirts, etc. She hasn't worn that
silver get-up since..
Mark S.: I think that's why they had her in the silver get-up ... the
original attire is usually worth a LOT more to collectors ...
Eric Sansoni: Most of us only know her from all those posters and things, so
I'd say the artists did their job perfectly. I wouldn't have recognized
her or got the reference if she had been in some other outfit.
>> Xena probably won't be calling the Collector this
Joe Klemm: Mr. Mxyzptlk is a character in the Superman comics. Pronounced
"Mix-yes-spit-lick", Mr. Mxyzptlk is a being from the Fifth Dimension.
Using his powers, he occasionally warps to Earth in order to make
Superman's life a headache. However, he is forced to return to the Fifth
Dimension if he says his name backwards.
>> He's a captain, but can he transform himself into a singer?
Yeah, William "Capt. Kirk" Shatner did record an album once. Daniel L.
Dreibelbis remembers: William Shatner's infamous 1968 album he made in
which he made his "singing" debut: you could clear a room or kill
cockroaches with that record, which featured, err, unique takes on "Mr.
Tambourine Man" and "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds". The CBSG should have
used that phaser himself on Shatner, who this year made a comeback song
with Ben Folds.
>> It's the soundest investment since Beanie Babies
Joe Klemm: The Collector's comment about his lightsaber losing value due to
the fact that he opened the package it was in reference to how people are
now saving unopened "Star Wars: Episode One" action figures due to the fact
that their price will rise in the future. This thing is due to how the old
Kenner Star Wars figures are now worth a lot of money, with the prices
being higher if they are unopened instead of being loose (opened and used).
Ben Varkentine notes: Of course, what no one is telling these brain dead
"collectors" (Most especially not George "Greed can be a powerful ally"
Lucas) is that since *lots* of people are buying the SWE1 merchandise and
hoarding it, there's going to be no (repeat no) demand for it in the
future. That's how it works. The reason SW material from the first film
is worth money is because no one knew what it was then ...
>> Best Death Ever
Tony Hill muses: It's odd that The Collector wanted to honor "Battlestar
Galactica." That short-lived series was blasted by many purists as a rip-
off of "Star Wars," and I think the producers of the movie even brought a
lawsuit against the creators of the TV series. Lorne Greene's tombstone
refers to him as the "world's greatest father," perhaps a reference to
"Bonanza," and also calls him "the great voice of Canada." "Battlestar
Galactica" isn't mentioned.
>> January 3, 2000: GET BACK TO WORK!
Jeff Cross: The Millennium Glitch, annoyingly referred to as Y2K (for Year
2000), revolves around the date code in computers. With the year set only
to two digits to save space, people are afraid that when January 1, 2000
rolls around, the computers will translate it to January 1, 1900 and start
crashing. The anticipated effects range from short blackouts to
spontaneous nuclear weapon detonations and the end of civilization. I
nearly got a job fixing it, and the solution is so horrifically simple that
you'd wish civilization would crumble to cover your shame of not figuring
it out earlier: an if-then-else statement that adds 1900 or 2000 to the
year.
Benjamin Robinson: Since just about everything from airplanes to your
coffeemaker contains an embedded computer, the theory that they might
simultaneously fail has provided a lot of grist for doomsayers. Prevalent
among their fears are: Ruined financial records, failed transportation
infrastructure (planes have onboard maintenance and navigation computers
that are time-dependent, and railroads have computerized switching
equipment), and national power outages. In reality, the New Year won't be
quite so dramatic. Most embedded chips, like the one in your microwave,
don't really care what year it is. In other cases, the hype has prodded
the people in charge to check their systems for Y2K compliance and fix or
work around any errors they find.
Joe Klemm adds: A worldwide crisis just like the one in the episode is
impossible since, if it does happen, it will only affect the area where the
computer is located at.
Brian Sco refutes this: As a software engineer specializing in network
protocols I can tell you that if one computer sends invalid date data to
another computer across the world that second computer will be affected if
it did not know how to handle the bad data.
[It's true that solving the problem isn't technically difficult. Instead,
the trick is in locating all the programs using date-sensitive code. At
large institutions, it's not all that unusual for programs written in the
70s -- or even earlier -- to be running today. This code often isn't well
documented, making the search harder and errors easier to make. Bringing
data into compliance can also be a chore. If you have 10 million database
records using two-digit dates, casually adding another two digits is no
small task. -- Ed.]
[A commonly-repeated refrain in the months leading up to 2000 was that the
rollover would make it hazardous to fly, either because FAA computers would
fail, or the computers aboard the planes themselves would fail. Most
American carriers arranged their schedules so no jetliners would be in the
air at midnight. To allay fears, the FAA chief vowed to be flying at that
time, just to show that everything was safe. The nation of China went even
further. They *ordered* their airlines to remain flying at the time, just
to demonstrate the soundness of their computers.
The critical hour for the FAA actually came at 7:00 p.m. Eastern time,
since their computers run on Greenwich time. Sure enough, the FAA
computers processed the rollover correctly. (Incidentally, ABC showed a
screen at FAA headquarters indicating a horde of planes flying at that
time.) This was one of my first indications that the world was not going
to hell in a handbasket that night.
Besides, who wants to be stuck on a plane on New Year's Eve? -- Ed.]
Benjamin Robinson: In a sense, the doom hype has forestalled the actual doom
- - a self-denying prophecy. While there will probably be minor glitches,
such as the wrong date appearing on computerized reports, we'll hopefully
avoid the worst of the chaos.
[P. S., if you're reading this now, chances are whatever the Y2K mavens did
worked -- Ed.]
Benjamin Robinson, again: Incidentally, one fellow remarked, "Only computer
scientists would call this problem the 'Y2K' bug. That kind of shortcut-
taking is what caused the problem in the first place."
>> Battle of the bands
Daniel L. Dreibelbis presents your New Year's Eve lineup: RATT - southern
California-based heavy metal band circa 1984, had big hits with single
"Round and Round" and album OUT OF THE CELLAR. Recently had a surprise hit
with their new comeback album on Sony this year!
WHITESNAKE - band led by ex-Deep Purple vocalist David Coverdale, they hit
pay dirt with their slick pop metal 1980s records SLIDE IT IN and
WHITESNAKE. The joke here is that Whitesnake were never the same band from
album to album in the 1980s, with band members leaving as a result of Mr.
Coverdale's egomania.
RICK JAMES: big late seventies/early eighties funk artist who ran afoul of
the law several times in the last few years; his big hit was "Super Freak".
Benjamin Robinson adds: Something of a real-life Superfreak himself, James
was accused of kidnapping a young woman and keeping her as a sex slave, or
something equally bizarre.
>> Attack of the hair bands!
Benjamin Robinson: In the beginning, there was heavy metal. It took itself
seriously, and its fans claimed that under the crunching guitars and
driving drumbeats there lurked thought-provoking lyrics. Then metal seemed
to lighten up. (Light metal, anyone?) Van Halen (the David Lee Roth
incarnation) married the musical style to a party-boy image to create a
band that was loud, brash, and fun to listen to. They've aged relatively
gracefully, but other bands that followed in their wake didn't fare as
well. Many of them seemed to focus as much on hair and costuming as they
did on music, earning them the derisive label "hair bands." To their
critics, many of them had a sameness that made one hard to distinguish from
another. Whitesnake, Poison, Quiet Riot, Ratt all enjoyed a moment in the
musical sun, but are considered passé by most people today.
Ondre Lombard: Shortly after the 90s began, it began to fade away into
memory, replaced by grunge, alternative and other watered down forms of
rock with less hairspray. The joke in the Dick Clark Rockin' Eve special
is that since so many of them (arguably) "sounded the same", they don't
even know who they are anymore. For two records: Whitesnake's lead singer
didn't play an instrument and he had blonde hair. Ratt's lead singer
didn't play an instrument either and he had dark hair. In fact, I don't
think anyone in that band was any of the bands they thought they might've
been (not even Quiet Riot). For another record, I love 80s "hair" heavy
metal a lot more than I do 90s rock.
>> So *that's* how he does it!
Tom Rinschler: It's something of a running joke that Dick Clark, who has been
hosting TV shows for several decades, never seems to get any older.
Obviously the staff of "The Simpsons" theorizes that he is really a robot
in disguise. I guess we should all tune in on New Year's Eve this year and
see if the Y2K bug gets him.
>> The Many Shows Of Robert Urich
Jeff Cross: Robert Urich, while being a good actor, just hasn't had too much
luck with TV shows, listed as follows.
-- "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice" (1973)
-- "S.W.A.T." (1975)
-- "Tabitha" (1977)
-- "Soap" (1977)
-- "Vega$" (1978)
-- "Gavilan" (1982)
-- "Spenser: For Hire" (1985) (his best, in my opinion)
-- "American Dreamer" (1990)
-- "Crossroads" (1992)
-- "It Had to be You" (1993) {al}
-- "The Lazarus Man" (1996) [{ol} notes it ended on account of his cancer
treatment -- Ed.]
-- "Boatworks" (1997)
-- "Vital Signs" (1997)
-- "Invasion America" (1998)
-- "The Love Boat: The Next Wave" (1998)
-- National Geographic Explorer, (1991-94) {th}
>> When Celebrities Go Bad
Benjamin Robinson: Hmmm. I wonder why we waited until planet-wide apocalypse
to think of this idea -- send society's most annoying people on a one way
trip to Old Sol. On tonight's flight were
Ross Perot: Founded the Reform Party and ran for President on with a
plain-talking, if simplistic, campaign. Toward the end, though, he wigged
out and accused Bush of planning to disrupt his daughter's wedding, quit
the race, only to try to rejoin it later. Now considered a marginal player
even in his own party.
Dr. Laura Schlessenger: Talk show host who hands out blunt life advice to
callers. Probably the only moralist to have nude photos of herself posted
to the internet (by her ex-husband).
Spike Lee: Outspoken movie director. A New York Knicks fan, he sits on
the sidelines and heckles the opposing team. At least one of the Knicks'
opponents credits Lee with inspiring them to rally to victory. With fans
like that ...
Dan Quayle: George Bush's vice-president. Considered an intellectual
lightweight, he was often the fodder du jour for comedians and humor
columnists. (Dave Barry likened his intelligence to that of plankton.) In
real life he isn't that dumb, but does suffer from foot-in-mouth disease an
awful lot.
Courtney Love: Loose-cannon singer for Hole. You can read a little more
about her in the capsule for "Screaming Yellow Honkers (AABF10)."
Tonya Harding: Olympic skater implicated in a plot to club her rival Nancy
Kerrigan (who was no prize-winning personality herself) on the knee, giving
Harding a sure slot on the 1996 Olympic team. Messy lawsuits followed,
with the upshot being that Harding was allowed to compete along with
Kerrigan. The soap opera dominated coverage (in the United States, at
least) of the games that year. On the other hand, I notice that
considerably more media attention is paid to figure skating now than in the
pre-Harding era. There is no such thing as bad publicity.
Al Sharpton: Activist and trouble-maker, defending the black community
from racism wherever it exists -- and wherever it doesn't.
Rosie O'Donnell: Talk show host. Her show broke with the Oprah/Jerry
Springer mold for daytime talk shows, instead harking back to the days of
Dinah Shore. Although popular, her relentless sunny, perky nature can be
grating in the long run.
Biographies of the two remaining people we send hurtling into the sun,
courtesy Daniel L. Dreibelbis: TOM ARNOLD: comedian who is probably best
known as the former husband of comedian Roseanne Barr/Arnold/whatever the
hell she's calling herself this week. After what many considered a
brilliant breakthrough part in Ah-Nohld's TRUE LIES, Mr. Arnold disgraced
himself with a number of bombs including "McHale's Navy" and "The Stupids".
At least Tom, who voiced himself in this episode, is man enough to laugh at
the treatment the writers gave him! [{bjr} notes he's appeared on
commercials for WebTV.]
PAULY SHORE: ex MTV veejay who parlayed his fame into a number of brainless
excruciating "comedies" like BIO-DOME, JURY DUTY, SON-IN-LAW and IN THE
ARMY NOW, as well as a failed FOX sitcom. Hopefully Mr. Shore will keep
his promise that he will not make another film ever again, or we WILL fire
him from a cannon into the sun! [{bjr} says Shore "will probably become
the most-despised person in America once Saddam Hussein kicks the bucket."]
Benjamin Robinson: This sounds like it would make a great party game. Just
ask your guests, "What celebrity would you like to send hurtling into the
sun?"
>> Folklore Alert
This is not a drill! This is a Haynes Lee folklore alert: "Children use x-
ray machine to check their candy for pins, needles, and razor blades."
True. Pins, needles, and razor blades have been found in trick-or-
treaters' loot. See
<http://snopes.simplenet.com/horrors/mayhem/needles.htm>.
Richard Green: The school was scanning the candy for malicious objects. They
found razors and syringes. With Halloween every year, comes fear from
parents, schools, and bag makers that everyone is out to kill kids by
putting razors into the candy. However, they tend to let on that this
happens MUCH more than it actually does. The last time it's even been
REPORTED that a sharp object was found in a wrapper in 1991, and since then
it's only happened 3 times this century, so there really isn't that much to
worry about.
Haynes Lee: Homer's and Bart's heads explode in the vacuum of space. "People
explode/boil/something in the vacuum of space." False. See
<http://www.urbanlegends.com/death/bodies_explode_in_space.html>
Chris Carollo elaborates: A vacuum is only 1 atmosphere different from what
we're normally experiencing, which is not enough force to explode a human.
You obviously wouldn't be able to breathe, you'd blow a lot of capillaries,
causing minor bleeding such as a nosebleed, and your ears would be more
than a little uncomfortable, but you could survive until you suffocated.
Javier Sassi adds: In the event never before witnessed of a human suddenly
being thrown into the void of space, it will not cause the head or any part
of the body to "explode" (read explode as the event of an object being
turned into smaller fragments traveling in a straight line away from each
other)
The human body is dense and filled with fluids which of course would try to
"exit" the body but they are not contained in a air tight container.
So the most likely scenario of a human body being thrown out into the void
of outer space would be some fluids and soft matter escaping for all
orifices of the body (eyes, ears mouth etc) But the body would remain
together. Including the head.
Think of the head not as a balloon. Think of it as an orange or a
grapefruit filled with holes.
As a tidbit of interest in this subject, our ear drums work as pressure
valves of our heads. So among the things you would feel before dying when
you are thrown out into space, for a split second maybe, you would feel
pain in your ears.
>> Cutting out the Middleman
Ted J. Mills: One bit in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" was a doomed
planet being evacuated in three arks: The A ark had the leaders and
scientists and so on, the C ark had the people who do the actual work, and
the B ark had everyone else, all the middlemen types. And only the B ark
was sent off, since the planet wasn't really doomed, it was just an excuse
to get rid of the useless third of their population.
Jordan Eisenberg: It's worth noting that this spaceship full of "B" citizens
eventually crash-lands on an obscure, undeveloped, t-shirt-producing planet
known as Earth, and they become the descendents of the human race.
[Actually, they'd be the ancestors, as Curtis Gibby notes -- Ed.]
>> Miscellaneous, Etc.
The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is: THOHX
Mike Erickson: I believe this is the first time we've actually seen an
immediate member(s) of OFF die (Homer and Bart's heads exploding) ... even
in a THOH episode.
Tony Hill: Century City is a ritzy Los Angeles real estate development
adjacent to Beverly Hills which 20th Century Fox made out of its backlot.
Ironically, ABC had its TV studios there for many years.
Joe Klemm: Stan Lee (Marvel Comics head)
Seth Miller: This is the first time I have ever seen a villain run out of
ammo and then throw the gun at the hero ... and have it WORK.
Benjamin Robinson: Car Watch: Comic Book Guy's car appears to be a Geo/Chevy
(GM's dropping the Geo nameplate) Metro. It's a newer model than Ned's
Metro.
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr}
==============================================================================
% This year's special begins with spotlights playing off a set of
% stage curtains.
Announcer: Live from fabulous Centauri City, it's "The Simpsons
Tenth Halloween Special!" [curtains part to reveal
a pumpkin-shaped spaceship] Now, please welcome
your hosts -- if you haven't been probed by these
two, you haven't been probed -- Kang and Kodos!
[as the audience cheers, the aliens emerge from the
spaceship]
Kang: Thank you, thank you.
Kodos: Yes, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to
our tenth anniversary show. Oh, we've got a great
g-- [notices Kang lighting an acetylene torch] Kang,
what are you doing?
Kang: You said we were going to warm up the audience.
[cut to a shot of said audience, which is made up
entirely of alien creatures. We hear laughter, even
though the audience members are sitting perfectly
still]
Kodos: [shudders] Ladies and gentleman, I have to
apologize for my partner. He had to borrow a
*human* brain.
[more laughter]
[cut to the Simpsons' living room. They're on the
couch, but it's obvious they're not their usual
selves. Homer's a jack-in-the-box, Marge is a
witch, Lisa is an ax-attack victim, Bart is a half-
fly mutant, and Maggie is a half-alien, half-human
baby]
Lisa: What do aliens have to do with Halloween?
Maggie: Silence! [produces a ray gun, and disintegrates
Lisa]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% [End of intro. Time: 1:03]
%
% And now that the audience at home is warmed up, let's present our
% first tale of the supernatural, which is:
%
% I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did
%
% Thick fog shrouds a lonely road through the countryside. The
% Simpsons' station wagon is the only car on the road. Inside the
% car, Marge is at the wheel.
Lisa: I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible
vampires.
Homer: But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp
cereal. [holds up box]
[sings to "Sugar Crisp" tune] Can't get enough of that
Sugar Crisp ...
Marge: I'm having a hard time seeing. Homer, did you remember to
put the fog lights in?
Homer: [still singing] Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in.
Marge: I'd better pull over and play it safe. [pulls over, but
there's a horrible thump. She stops the car, opens the
door, and discovers that she has run over something]
[gasps] Please be a dog...
-- Safety first, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The family runs up to body, and discovers that it's a man. Homer
% rolls him over to see that he is none other than Ned Flanders.
Homer: [pokes him in the eye with a stick] He's dead! [pokes
twice more] He's definitely dead. [pokes a few more
times]
Marge: Oh, my God! We killed Ned Flanders.
Bart: You mean *you* killed Ned Flanders.
Marge: Oh, it was an accident -- an accident!
Lisa: We've got to go to the police.
Bart: They'll never believe a Simpson killed a Flanders by
accident. Even I have my doubts.
Homer: [holding Ned up] Don't worry, I've got a plan. Okay, Ned.
The first thing we gotta do [begins whispering] is make
sure no one knows that you're dead. If anyone asks, you
just say that you're not dead. [nods Flanders' head up
and down]
-- A simple plan, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The next morning, Homer has taken Ned's body up to the roof of the
% Simpsons' house. Next door, Maude tends the Flanders' yard.
Homer: Hey, Maude! Look who's helping me clean the chimney!
[a vulture flies down and begins picking at Ned's arm.
Homer shoos it away]
Maude: Neddy? Where have you been?
Homer: [doing bad Ned impersonation, and waving Ned's arm] Hi
Maude-diddily. I've been having fun with my pal Homer.
[pause] Diddily.
Maude: Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late-
night fog walks I get so worried.
Homer: [as Ned] Relax, I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want
any autopsies.
Maude: Well, come on down, you goofy roofie.
Homer: [as Ned] Wow, it sure is slippery up here.
[goes to toss Ned off the roof]
[bell dings inside Flanders house]
Maude: My pies are done. [goes inside]
[Flanders lands on the doghouse]
Homer: Oh, she missed it!
-- It'll be on the next "Faces of Death" video, though, "Treehouse of
Horror X"
% Take II. Homer, carrying Ned, kicks open the Flanders' door.
Homer: [as Ned] Hey Maude, I'm home. Uh, oh, I think I'm having
a heart attack.
[tosses the body to the floor, closes the door]
Maude: [screams from inside the house]
Homer: And that's the end of that chapter.
-- All's well that ends well, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The whole town, it seems, turns out for the late Ned Flanders'
% funeral. Even the Simpsons are there. Homer counsels everyone not
% to look too sad, or else they might draw suspicion. Everyone smiles
% brightly, and takes their place among the congregation.
%
% Reverend Lovejoy introduces Ned's best friend -- Homer Simpson --
% who will say a few words in eulogy.
Homer: When I think about Ned, I can't help but remember the look
on his face when Marge drove over --
Marge: [sotto voce] Homer, shut up, shut up, shut up!
Homer: Oh, wait. What I'd like to say is, we're still looking
for the real killers. Anyway in conclusion, a man cannot
be forced to testify against his wife. [winks
conspicuously]
Marge: [offscreen, sotto voce] Stop winking!
Homer: We'll miss you, buddy. [playfully punches Ned's shoulder]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Relieved that no one suspects they had a hand in Flanders' death,
% the Simpsons drive home.
Homer: Hey, we just got away with murder. And it was so easy!
[sees Milhouse crossing the street] You know, I never
liked that little wiener Milhouse. [steers toward him]
Marge: [grabs the wheel and steers the car back]
No more murders!
[Homer pulls up in his driveway, and the family gets out
of the car]
Homer: But you got to kill --
Marge: No!
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Perhaps the Simpsons didn't get away with murder, after all.
% Scrawled on their front door are the ominous words, "I know what you
% did." Someone obviously witnessed the accident, but who? Everyone
% on Evergreen Terrace that day -- Chief Wiggum, Krusty, Moe, Sherri
% and Terri -- stares at them accusingly. Even Homer points a finger
% at Marge, until she tells him to quit.
%
% Huddled in their darkened living room, the Simpsons are startled by
% a phone call.
Marge: Who could be calling at this hour?
Homer: [nervously answers the phone] Hello?
Menacing Voice: [on phone] I know you're alone.
Homer: Who is this?
Menacing Voice: Is this Maude Flanders?
Homer: No, it's Homer
Moe: Oh, hey Homer, it's Moe. I must have dialed
the wrong number.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% A flash of lightning (and a 360-degree spin from the camera) reveal
% that the phrase "I know what you did" has been painted on just about
% every surface of the living room. What's worse, a dark figure in
% rain gear stands in one corner, brandishing a big hook. The family
% runs out of the house, and piles into the car, only to see that the
% car has been decorated with the same phrase. Homer starts the car
% and the family flees from the house.
%
% Homer prays for divine intervention. "Dear God, it's Homer. If you
% really love me, you'll save my life now," he says. The car runs out
% of gas.
%
% With the mystery man closing in, Homer hatches a desperate plan to
% save his family.
Homer: Okay, Marge, you hide in the abandoned amusement
park; Lisa, the pet cemetery; Bart, spooky roller
disco; And I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake where
the sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago
tonight.
[turns to Flanders, who is the one wearing the rain
gear]
Now, Flanders, I want you to --
OFF: [screams]
Marge: It's impossible. I killed you.
Flanders: You can't kill the undead, silly.
Homer: [pokes Flanders in the eye with a stick] He's
undead, all right.
Bart: Are you a zombie?
Flanders: Oh, I wish! You see, that night, when you hit me
with your car ...
[flashes back to that night. Flanders walks alone
in the fog, along the side of the road]
I'm making record time on this fog walk. [a wolf
howls in the distance] Better pick up the pace.
[a wolf jumps out of the bushes, and shoves Flanders
off the road. There's a struggle, and Flanders
emerges as a werewolf]
Homer: [from a distance, singing] Guess I forgot to put the
fog lights in.
[Flanders prepares to pounce on the unsuspecting
vehicle]
Marge: I'd better pull over and play it safe.
[runs over Flanders, who transforms back into a man]
[back to the present]
Lisa: So you were going to kill us.
Flanders: [chuckles] Yeah.
[everyone enjoys a hearty laugh]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The clouds part, to reveal the moon. Flanders immediately
% transforms into were-Flanders and growls at Homer. "I want the
% news, not the weather," Homer says, and turns to Marge to brag about
% his zing. She isn't there. Marge and the kids are running away,
% several hundred yards down the road.
%
% As the camera focuses on the moon, Flanders attacks Homer. There's
% a pause in the carnage. "Eyes bigger than your stomach, eh,
% wolfie?" He speaks too soon, as Flanders resumes eating Homer.
%
% [End of Act One. Time: 7:06]
%
% The night's second tale is entitled:
%
% Desperately Xeeking Xena
%
% After making their trick-or-treat rounds, the children of
% Springfield report to Springfield Elementary School, where the
% police are X-raying the candy for nasty surprises.
%
% Chief Wiggum is in charge of the portable X-ray machine, which looks
% like the kind you might find at an airport. It is set up in the
% gym. Ralph is at the head of the line, dressed in police costume
% and holding a bag of candy.
Wiggum: Well, well, well. If it isn't the cutest police officer
in Springfield.
Lou: Hey, you know, we got feelings, too, Chief.
Wiggum: Just dump your candy on the X-ray belt, Ralphie. [he does
so] There's a good boy.
[looks at the X-ray monitor as the candy rolls along the
belt]
Safe ... safe ... razor blade ... syringe ... ooh, white
chocolate.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Further back in line, Milhouse shows off his Radioactive Man
% costume.
Milhouse: Check it out Lisa, I'm Radioactive Man.
Lisa: I don't think the real Radioactive Man wears a
plastic smock with a picture of himself on it.
Milhouse: He would on Halloween.
-- Nah, that's more of a Batman thing, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% It's Nelson's turn. His overstuffed pillowcase jams the machine,
% just as Chief Wiggum warns. It rocks back and forth, as if it is
% about to explode. Skinner tells everyone to duck and cover.
% Everyone does, except Bart. A green beam of radiation shoots out of
% the machine towards the boy. Lisa tries to push him out of the way,
% but the beam catches them both, sending Lisa flying into one of the
% gym's grandstands. It topples onto her, leaving only her feet
% sticking out of the bottom.
Skinner: She's been crushed! And so have the hopes of our
mathletics team.
Lisa: [single-handedly lifts the grandstand above her head, and
stands up]
Hold the funeral, poindexter!
Skinner: [gasps] Poindexter?!
[Lisa tosses the grandstand through the ceiling]
Bart: Whoa, Lis, those X-rays must've given you super strength!
I wonder if I got any powers.
[Bart's eyes stretch right out of his head. He
nonchalantly inspects himself from all angles]
Nope, looks normal. [retracts his eyes] Wait a minute
... I can stretch!
[stretches his neck up toward the ceiling]
Look at me! [bumps his head into a light fixture, which
breaks]
Ow! Hot, hot, hot. [un-stretches his neck]
I must only use this power to annoy!
-- And thus, a superhero is born, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% As good as his word, Bart stretches his left hand out the gym
% window. There's a knock at the gym door, and Skinner answers it.
% Bart's hand is on the other side. It gestures side to side, and up
% and down, then slaps Skinner.
Lisa: Bart, with these powers, we can become superheroes.
Wiggum: [being spun by Lisa] Okay, so do it already.
-- Isn't this how the Fantastic Four got started? "Treehouse of
Horror X"
% Bart and Lisa become Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl, respectively.
% Like all superheroes worth their salt, they have a theme song.
% [Transcribed here courtesy of Gerry Garrelts.]
Singers: Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl!
He's a human rubber band
And she's the Hulk in pearls!
[a would be bank-robber is foiled when he runs into
Bart, who has stretched himself like a net across
the sidewalk. The robber bounces towards Lisa, who
clobbers him]
He's a limber lad
She's a powerful lass
[Bart retrieves Homer's watch from the toilet pipe]
He'll wring your neck
And she'll kick your ass!
[Bart ties up Saddam Hussein. Lisa kicks his ass]
They're Stretch Dude
And Clobber Girl!
[Lisa uses the Statue of Liberty to poke a hole in
an attacking Nazi zeppelin]
Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl!
Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl!...
[Bart and Lisa shake hands with President Clinton.
Lisa does this so vigorously that the President is
repeatedly slammed into the floor and desk]
Announcer: Tonight's episode: Enter the Collector.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Lucy Lawless, TV's Xena on "Xena: Warrior Princess" addresses a
% group of her fans.
Lawless: ... but I'm sure that once girls get to know the
real you, you'll get plenty of dates. Next
question.
[hands go up. She picks Frink]
Frink: Yes, over here, n'hey, n'hey. In episode BF12, you
were battling barbarians while riding a winged
Appaloosa, yet in the very next scene, my dear,
you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please do
explain it.
Lawless: Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like
that, a wizard did it.
Frink: I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4 --
Lawless: Wizard.
Frink: [under breath] Aw, for glaven out loud.
-- And thus, an a.t.s. cliché is born, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Suddenly, the Comic Book Guy crashes through the skylight on the
% type of electromagnet you might see suspended from a crane. He is
% dressed as ... the Collector.
Collector: Behold, I am the Collector, and I have come to add
you to my collection.
[turns on a magnet, which attracts Lucy's
breastplate. She sails up to the magnet, where she
is trapped]
Lawless: Must ... remove ... my ... breastplate!
[unties the straps holding it on. Below, everyone
in the audience produces a camera]
Maybe later. [reties straps]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The Collector's magnet crane is mounted on the back of his Chevrolet
% (formerly Geo) Metro. He takes Lucy, still stuck to the magnet,
% through the streets of Springfield.
Collector: [leaning out the window] Care for a Rollo, sweet
Xena?
Lawless: All right Collector, stick this in your tweezers --
I'm not Xena! I'm an actress, you lunatic!
Collector: Oh, please, I'm not insane. I simply wish to take
you back to my lair to be my bride.
Lawless: Oh, dear God!
-- Well, at least he isn't insane, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Meanwhile, Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl fight the battle against
% yard trash. Bart rakes the leaves, using the hand he has
% conveniently transformed into a rake. Lisa lifts the house up, and
% Bart sweeps the leaves under the house.
%
% At that moment, the Collector and Lucy drive past. Lucy yells for
% help. They quickly realize that she has been kidnapped. Bart
% changes into a pogo stick, and he and Lisa hop off after them.
Marge: Remember, you're vulnerable to kryptonite.
Homer: Jeez, Marge, tell the neighborhood.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% At his lair, the Collector finishes sealing Lawless in a big plastic
% bag. A catwalk rings the perimeter of the room, allowing the
% Collector access to the rest of his collected celebrities.
Collector: Fear not, my syndicated sweetie. You'll be
preserved forever in this Mylar pouch, forever
remaining in ... near mint condition, between Dr.
Who and of course Yasmine Bleeth.
Lisa: I don't think so. [she and Bart smash through the
wall]
Bart: I don't think so, either.
[stretches his butt up to the Collector's platform,
and waves it in his face]
Lisa: Your collecting days are over, Collector.
Collector: [pulls out a phaser] Stop right there. I have here
the only working phaser ever built. It was fired
only once, to keep William Shatner from making
another album.
Lisa: Stretch Dude, help!
Bart: Just a sec.
[we see that he has stretched over to look at the
Collector's "adults only" collection]
-- Priorities, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The Collector fires his phaser, hitting Lisa and knocking her out.
% He turns his attention to Bart, but each time he fires, Bart
% stretches out of the way. Finally, the phaser runs out of energy.
% The Collector throws the weapon at the boy. It hits Bart on the
% head, knocking him unconscious.
%
% The Collector ties Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl to a hook, using
% Stretch Dude's own body as a substitute rope. They are suspended
% over a tank of bubbling Lucite.
Collector: Good night, Retch Dude and Slobber Girl. Sweet
screams!
[begins to lower them into the Lucite tank]
[turning to Lawless] Ha, ha, ha! I am unbelievably
amused. Soon those bratty buttinskis will be
encased in Lucite for all eternity. While we're
waiting, here are some names you may call me on our
wedding night: [clears throat] Obi Wan, Iron Man,
Mr. Mxyzptlk, and of course, Big Papa Smurf.
Lawless: What do you need me for? You could have your choice
of any of the women in these bags.
Collector: You would think so, but no.
Lawless: Really? Well, I mean, maybe we are meant for each
other. Growing up, I was tall for my age and all
the other kids made fun of me, I ... I always hoped
for another misunderstood soul to share my pain and,
you could be that soul, Collector.
Collector: Oh ...
Lawless: Come here, you. Xena needs Xex. [puckers up]
Collector: [puckers up]
Lawless: [grabs Collector's lips]
Got your lips!
[punches Collector several times, and kicks him off
the catwalk]
Collector: You tricked me! With a ruse so hackneyed, it would
make Stan Lee blush!
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Lawless jumps down from the catwalk. Still in her Mylar pouch, she
% and the Collector fight. Lawless lands a series of vicious kicks
% and head blows.
%
% Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa are still being slowly lowered toward the
% Lucite.
Lisa: Bart, just let me drop and save yourself!
Bart: What do you think I've been trying to do?
-- No honor among superheroes, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Lawless corners the Collector. He picks up one of his collectibles.
Collector: Ah ha! Not even Xena is a match for the double-
edged lightsaber from "Star Wars Episode 1: The
Phantom Menace!"
[takes it out of the package and activates it]
Lawless: [gasps] You removed it from its original packaging!
Collector: No! It's no longer a collectible!
[staggers backward until he crashes through a
railing and plunges into the Lucite tank]
Lawless: [walks up to the railing and frees herself from the
pouch] What a nerd.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The Collector climbs out of the tank, covered in Lucite. He knows
% the end is near, and strikes a dramatic pose.
Lucite hardening ... must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from
"Battlestar Galactica." Best ... death ... ever!
-- The Comic Book Guy, er, The Collector, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% With evil thwarted for another day, Bart, Lisa, and Lawless gather
% in front of the comic shop.
Bart: Wow! Thanks for saving us.
Lawless: No problem. Now let's get you kids home.
[picks the two up, and begins to fly back home]
Lawless: Wait a minute -- Xena can't fly.
Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.
Lisa: Oh.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% With a brief reprise of the theme ("Stretch Dude and Clobber
% Girl!"), the trio flies home. The world is safe again. But, for
% how long?
%
% [End of Act Two. Time: 14:12]
%
% The final tale for tonight is a timely one. We call it:
%
% Life's a Glitch, Then You Die
%
% It isn't New Year's Eve without Dick Clark, and tonight he forgoes
% Times Square to host the festivities in Springfield. As usual,
% there's an all-start lineup that includes Whitesnake. Or maybe
% Quiet Riot. Or is that Ratt?
%
% Back at home, the Simpsons and their guests sum up the previous
% millenium.
Abe: Man alive, what a stink-o thousand years! Blimp wrecks,
teenagers ... then again, we had two TV shows with Andy
Griffith.
Marge: And eleven with Robert Urich.
-- Putting it in perspective, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Rick James performs at Springfield Town Square ...
James: [singing] Superfreak, superfreak!
I'm superfreakin', yow!
[two policemen come up, handcuff James, and lead him away]
Aw, man, what'd I do now?
Clark: Wonderful; now that's dedicated to all you supergeeks who
rocked around the clock to exterminate America's Y2K bugs.
Slammin'!
[scene shifts to the Simpson house]
Lenny: Hey Homer, weren't you the plant's Y2K compliance officer?
Homer: Absolutely.
Carl: Must've been hard, debugging all those computers, eh,
Homer?
Homer: Doing what, now?
Lisa: You did fix them, didn't you Dad? Because even a single
faulty unit can corrupt every other computer in the world.
Homer: That can't be true, honey. If it were, I'd be terrified.
-- Now *I'm* terrified, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The big moment arrives, as the crowd counts down the ball drop.
% (Dick Clark takes a moment to thank Dixie Brand Mayonnaise.)
% Meanwhile, technicians in a Y2K monitoring center grow alarmed. It
% seems that one errant computer -- Homer's -- is causing a cascading
% series of failures, just as Lisa had foreseen.
%
% Oblivious, the crowd continues to count down. Their blissful
% ignorance does not last long. When the ball touches the town hall's
% roof, the New Year is declared as ... 1900. Right on cue, every
% computer in Springfield goes haywire, and pandemonium ensues. Dick
% Clark's skin melts, and we see that he is in reality a robot.
% Street and traffic lights go on the blink. The "99 billion served"
% sign at a restaurant rolls over to "zero served." The revolving
% restaurant spins out of control, pinning diners against the glass
% from centripetal force before launching itself into the sky.
% Nelson, busy copying his butt, is swallowed up by the copy machine.
%
% At home, Marge is helpless to do anything as planes fall from the
% sky and land in the back yard.
Well, those ivory-tower eggheads have screwed us again.
-- Homer Simpson, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Homer goes to have a pre-bed glass of milk, but the carton squirts
% him. It seems it has a computer chip in it. So do various
% household appliances, which go to attack the family. The
% refrigerator pelts Homer with ice cubes. The waffle iron snaps at
% them like an angry terrier.
%
% At a church service, Reverend Lovejoy delivers a suitably
% Apocalyptic sermon.
Lovejoy: Judgement Day is upon us. I warned you the Lord wouldn't
stand for your minidresses and Beatle boots.
Flanders: [trying to remove a pair of said boots] I've resisted
these for thirty-five years. Why did I wear them today?
Lovejoy: But it's not too late to repent your sins and be embraced
by the Almighty --
Wiggum: [runs into the church] Hey, everybody! They're looting
the mall, hurry! I've got nine shoe buffers! [holds one
up]
[the parishioners run out the door]
Homer: [trying to run, but failing] I'm caught on something!
[the camera pans to reveal that Marge is tugging on his
jacket]
Marge: I don't want you looting.
Homer: But I was going to loot you a present.
Marge: [touched] Oh, all right.
Homer: [giggles and runs off]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Homer winds up looting a Lady Remington shaver for his wife. It
% goes bonkers and tries for Marge's jugular. She wrests it off her
% neck, and tosses it onto the grass. It cuts an irregular path as it
% goes on a rampage through town.
%
% The family walks through town, past malfunctioning devices of all
% kinds.
Lisa: [sarcastic] Well, look at the wonders of the computer age
now.
Homer: Wonders, Lisa, or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied, Lisa, or implode?
Lisa: Mom, make him stop.
-- Stop, Lisa, or stoop? "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The Simpsons happen upon Krusty, who is having a Y2K crisis of his
% own. His pacemaker is stuck in the "hummingbird" mode. Krusty
% lifts himself in the air briefly by flapping his arms, before
% collapsing on the ground.
Bart: [tearfully] Krusty! [perks up] Hey, a note.
[removes it from Krusty's shirt pocket and reads it]
You have been selected for "Operation Exodus."
Lisa: They're evacuating the Earth! We're saved!
Homer: Thank you, sweet clown. In death you saved us all.
[they walk away]
Krusty: [offscreen] I'm not dead.
Homer: I can still hear his voice on the wind.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Bart is the first to see the Exodus rocket. A lone sentry stands
% guard at the bottom of the gantry; his job is to make sure only the
% invited people get on board. A long line forms in front of the
% guard post, and most of the people are A-list celebrities and
% businessmen: Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, Michele Kwan, and more.
% Lisa quickly figures out the plan: Start a new civilization, seeded
% with today's "best and brightest" people. Homer figures that
% includes the Simpsons.
%
% The move to the head of the line.
Guard: Name, please.
Homer: Certainly. I am ... the, uh, piano genius from the movie,
"Shine."
Guard: Uh-huh. And your name is?
Homer: Uh ... Shiney McShine?
Lisa: Actually, he's Homer Simpson. That's Bart, I'm Lisa.
Guard: Lisa Simpson? Ah, you're the ship's proofreader; welcome
aboard. Now, before you enter, you're going to have to
make a very difficult choice. You're only allowed to take
one parent with you--
Lisa: Mom.
[Marge (carrying Maggie) and Lisa get in the gantry's
elevator]
Marge: Love you lots.
Homer: Goodbye, Lisa. Remember me as I am -- filled with
murderous rage.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"
% The rocket lifts off, and heads to Mars. Homer and Bart are
% resigned to their fates. At least they had "long, full lives."
% Well, at least Homer did.
%
% Their spirits lift when they see another spaceship, with nobody
% guarding it. They quickly run aboard. Both rockets streak away
% from the Earth. Homer looks through a porthole, still unable to
% believe all the trouble he caused. Bart advises him to let the past
% go.
Homer: All that counts is that we're alive and rubbing elbows
with the greats. [gasps] Ooh, there's Ross Perot, Dr.
Laura, Spike Lee.
Bart: Wait a minute, they're not so great.
Homer: Okay but there's Dan Quayle, Courtney Love, [increasing
panic], Tonya Harding, Al Sharpton, Ah! Tom Arnold! What
the hell's going on?
Bart: [looking out porthole] Wait! Only that ship's going to
Mars. Ours is headed for the sun.
Arnold: Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth? I mean, my shows
weren't great but I never tied people up and forced them
to watch. And I could've, because I'm a big guy and I'm
good with knots.
Homer: So we're all going to die?
Arnold: 'Fraid so, but, hey, the grub's pretty good, huh?
[chuckles, and then pours a can of peaches in his mouth]
Homer: The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth.
Shore: Gonna work on my tannage, buddy.
Arnold: Pauly Shore? Wow! Hey, we should do a show together,
man. That's a sure cure for the blues!
-- The cure's worse than the disease, "Treehouse of Horror X"
% Rosie O'Donnell appears, and implores the ship's passengers to sing
% along to "Clang, Clang, Clang." Everyone breaks into song, and Bart
% reassures his Dad that they'll be dead in five minutes. "Not fast
% enough," says Homer, and pushes the seat's eject button. As he and
% Bart float through the vacuum of space, their heads inflate like
% balloons. Offscreen, they pop. But at least the don't have to hang
% out with Pauly Shore.
%
% The Halloween credits roll. Instead of the normal Gracie shush, we
% hear a scream.
%
% [End of Act Three. Time: 21:34]
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{ah} Alan Hamilton
{al} Andrew Levine
{al2} Adam Long
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{cg} Curtis Gibby
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dh} Dean Humphries
{dj} Darrel Jones
{dld} Daniel L. Dreibelbis
{dp} Debra Padula
{ds} David Sibley
{dt} Dan Tropea
{er} Evan Ross
{gg} Gerry Garrelts
{hl} Haynes Lee
{jc} Jeff Cross
{jg2} Joe Green
{jk} Joe Klemm
{ms} Mike Smith
{ol} Ondre Lombard
{rg} Rebecca Gedalius
{th} Tony Hill
{tr} Tom Rinschler
==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 2000 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (caps...@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The
transcript itself is Copyright 2000 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been
brought to you by Gary North's Y2K Consulting and Small Motor Repair Agency.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.
--
Benjamin Robinson bj...@freenet.tlh.fl.us
This message may or may not contain sarcastic content; your burden to decide
"If you're alive, then why aren't you living?" -- Embrace
Richard E Green
Benjamin Robinson wrote:
> The capsule for "Treehouse of Horror X (BABF01)" is now available -- just in
> time for tonight's repeat airing! How's that for timing? It's at
> "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html"; follow the BABF01 link.
>
> The next capsule up will be "E-I-E-I-D'oh! (AABF19)."
Uh....wasn't the title "E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)?" I'm almost positive it was.....
--
~~~~~~Richard E Green~~~~~~~
http://www.acm.wpi.edu/~rgreen
-----BEGIN SIMPSONS CODE BLOCK-----
S1.2 OFF++ FRI+++> RWG++ CBG+++* HLJ+! ATa+++!>
f+++ n++ psw $+++ AABF03, 4F18, 3F18, 9F15, 1F17 M1980
------END SIMPSONS CODE BLOCK------
"Milhouse: We gotta spread this stuff arounf!
Let's put it on the Internet!
Bart: No- we have to reach people whose opinions
actually matter!"
Wilson Banswell
bj...@freenet.tlh.fl.us (Benjamin Robinson) wrote:
> The capsule for "Treehouse of Horror X (BABF01)" is now available --
just in
> time for tonight's repeat airing! How's that for timing? It's at
> "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html"; follow the BABF01 link.
It's going to be on again?
Willie hears ya, Willie don't care
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Curtis Gibby
news:862sm4$vd9$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> just in
> > time for tonight's repeat airing! How's that for timing? It's at
> > "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html"; follow the BABF01 link.
>
That's probably just copy-and-paste error from the "Guess Who's Coming
to Dinner" capsule... it's happened before, and it probably will again.
--
Curtis
Forget you clown!
S1.2 HOM+ FRI++# TEE++# MOL-- GIL--- f++ n++ Ipso 2F32 M1981
Benjamin Robinson
thread, Richard E Green wrote:
>Uh....wasn't the title "E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)?" I'm almost positive it was.....
I think officially it was, but most people here called it "E-I-E-I-D'oh!"
because this really brought out the joke.
It'll go by the "real" name at SNPP.com.