Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss

Who the heck would name their kid Bort?/the Itchy and Scratchy Land episode

16 views
Skip to first unread message

EnsRich

unread,
Apr 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/5/96
to
Are any of you named Bort?

Jim Smith

unread,
Apr 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/5/96
to
On 5 Apr 1996, EnsRich wrote:

> Are any of you named Bort?

Yep, another example of someone who Just Doesn't Get It.

Jim Smith

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down, and short is long
--"Weird Al" Yankovic
The Jim Smith homepage--http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~jasmith2/main.html


dr

unread,
Apr 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/5/96
to
Jim Smith <jasm...@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu> wrote:

>On 5 Apr 1996, EnsRich wrote:

>> Are any of you named Bort?

>Yep, another example of someone who Just Doesn't Get It.

I don't know, "Bort" is Russian means "side"...


______________________________________________________________________
Dan Ryazansky
dr...@cornell.edu
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/3147/
Russians in the NHL: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/3145/

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali

"The only difference between me and Salvador Dali is that I am not Spanish." -- dr


Peter Baker

unread,
Apr 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/5/96
to
In article <4k3t45$j...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, ens...@aol.com (EnsRich) wrote:

> Are any of you named Bort?

Or for that matter, who would name their kid Joey Joey Jo-Jo? :)

Aw, shuddup...

--
_____________
/
/
/
/
/ /\
/ / \
/ / \
/________________/______\______________

"(The Mothers of Invention) make a special art in an environment hostile to dreamers." - Composer Frank Zappa (1940-1993)

"O, I so want to be a (M)other." - from ULYSSES, by James Joyce (1882-1941)

sarah irani

unread,
Apr 6, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/6/96
to
That's the point! NOBODY is named Bort, but somehow, they didn't have
the BART license plate AND there were two Bort's in the gift shop. It
was just another crazy Simpsons weirdo thing.

ugh

sarah

Dave G Nelson

unread,
Apr 7, 1996, 4:00:00 AM4/7/96
to
>> Are any of you named Bort?

Both my sisters are named Bort. And our grandfather was named after
the youngest of the two. On the show Sesame Boulevard, two of the
characters are named Bort and Arnie.

1d, 1a, 1r, 1i, 1n

unread,
Apr 7, 1996, 4:00:00 AM4/7/96
to

The drive it home late on in teh same ep when they say that they are now
sold out of the Bort plates.
--
_________________________________________________________________________
"I think he's gonna just go insane one day and, very calmly and
rationally, slice people's throats with an extra-sharpened butter knife.
Just kidding." -- Dylan C.
Darin Woolpert -|- dwoo...@drew.edu -|- http://daniel.drew.edu/~dwoolper

Dedi Shy

unread,
Apr 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/9/96
to EnsRich
EnsRich wrote:
>
> Are any of you named Bort?

Not that I know of.

Bort Shy

unread,
Apr 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/9/96
to EnsRich

Brendan Perry

unread,
Apr 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/9/96
to

Hey, I tells ya, I've had that problem for YEARS!

We'd go to Wildwood, New Jersey every summer in the 70's and
do the obligatory boardwalk. Every summer it was the same thing:
HEARTBREAK for me and my brother. We'd look for bike 'license
plates', pencils, t-shirts, etc. And we'd both get the same old
story when we'd look down the display at "Fast Eddies T-shirt
and Funnel Cake Emporium":

Me: My Brother, Jon:

Bart Jack
Bob Jake
Bort Jan
Brandan Jim
Brandon Jimmy
Brant John
Brendin John Boy
Brendon Johnson
Brendun Jonathan
Brett Jujubee
Bruce Jyzus

I'm thinking of naming my kid Bort just so he won't have to
go through the same LIVING HELL as me growing up. He'd be
ASSURED an ample supply of cheesy souvenier license plates
at Wally World and such.

'course now that 90210's been on the air for awhile, there
are 4,000 "Brandon" souveniers, but STILL no Brendan's. Sheesh,
and mine's the true Irish spelling!!!!!!

--
cheers,

Brendan Perry

Bort Man

unread,
Apr 10, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/10/96
to

Why, do you think any of us are named Bort?

--
________________________________
| |
/)| Bort Man |(\
/ )| c...@ucla.edu |( \
__( (|________________________________|) )__
((( \ \> /_) | \ </ / )))
(\\\ \ \_/ / "I stayed up all | \_/ / ///)
\ / night playing poker \ /
\ _/ with tarot cards. I \_ /
/ / got a full house and | |
/ / four people died." | |
-Steve Wright

Kuno-Sama

unread,
Apr 11, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/11/96
to
Mountain Bort (c...@bort.edu) wrote:

> Why, do you think any of us are named Bort?

Rick, Rick, Rick, do you have ANY idea how long I'm gonna torment you
over that one?

- Kuno -

"What is Bort, anyway, does anybort bort anybort, anyway?"
- Howard Bort

_______________________________________
|\ KUNO-SAMA TS...@ACAD1.ALASKA.EDU /|
|O|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|P|
|T|--/ A Self-Admitted Ukyou-Lover \--|A|
|A|-( "It's Time For Regrets In The )-|G|
|K|--\ Afterlife..." - Prince Toma /--|A|
|U|___________________________________|N|
|/ SOCIALIST PURACHINA IKAZUCHI \|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mountain Man

unread,
Apr 13, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/13/96
to TS...@acad1.alaska.edu
TS...@acad1.alaska.edu (Kuno-Sama) wrote:
>Mountain Bort (c...@bort.edu) wrote:

Hey! That's Bort Man to you, Kuno-Bort!

>> Why, do you think any of us are named Bort?
>
>Rick, Rick, Rick, do you have ANY idea how long I'm gonna torment you
> over that one?

Hopefully longer than you maintained that Sideshow Bob's teachings were
what children lusted for when they watched his kiddie show! :)

>"What is Bort, anyway, does anybort bort anybort, anyway?"
> - Howard Bort

As usual, your highly spiritual and metaphysically existential musings
have turboed right over my Bort. What the Bort are you Borting abort?

-Bort Bort

"All Moe and no play makes Moe a Moe Moe."
-Homer, when Moe stole his flaming Homer
________________________________
| |
/)| Mountain Man |(\


/ )| c...@ucla.edu |( \
__( (|________________________________|) )__
((( \ \> /_) | \ </ / )))

(\\\ \ \_/ / "No wonder nobody | \_/ / ///)
\ / comes here. It's \ /
\ _/ too crowded." \_ /
/ / | |
/ / -Yogi Berra | |

Bort Aaron Richey

unread,
Apr 13, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/13/96
to

>>> Are any of you named Bort?
>>
>>Not that I know of.
>
>Why, do you think any of us are named Bort?

Why would any parent be cruel enough to name their kid "Bort"?

Bort Richey

--
**************************************************************************
The Bort Richey Home Page
http://www.missouri.edu/~c670008
now contains a picture of a.t.s.'s favorite poster!

No, I didn't put Sarah Fidelibus's photo up.
No, it's not Kumo-Sama's either.
No, it's not Jim Smith, Didi Shi, Dave Hall, Rick Senger, Patrick Hayden,
Jason Hancock, Don Del Grande, Haynes Lee, Ricardo Lafaurie, or Daniel
McCoy.
CHRIS ROZER?!!? You are nuts!
You genuinely don't know?
It's ME!!! Bort Richey! MY picture on MY homepage!!! Why is that
surprising?
Yeah, NOW you say you knew it all along.


The Bort Richey Home Page. Now with pictures and a Links page.
Proud fan of the Texas Rangers-1st in the AL West.
**************************************************************************

Dave G Nelson

unread,
Apr 14, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/14/96
to
Mountain Man <c...@ucla.edu> wrote:

>TS...@acad1.alaska.edu (Kuno-Sama) wrote:
>>Mountain Bort (c...@bort.edu) wrote:

>>"What is Bort, anyway, does anybort bort anybort, anyway?"
>> - Howard Bort

>"All Moe and no play makes Moe a Moe Moe."


> -Homer, when Moe stole his flaming Homer

Abort Kuno-Sama
Abort Mountain Man

{Chris Rozier should have aborted her postings while she was ahead.
But she doesn't know when to quit.}

"The Smurf that Smurfed Smurf"
[The Dragon that Breathed Fire]
--Smurfs

Mountain Man

unread,
Apr 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/15/96
to
nyt...@ix.netcom.com (Dave G Nelson) wrote:
>Mountain Man <c...@ucla.edu> wrote:
>
>>TS...@acad1.alaska.edu (Kuno-Sama) wrote:
>>>Mountain Bort (c...@bort.edu) wrote:
>>"All Moe and no play makes Moe a Moe Moe."
-Homer, on learning that Moe has swiped his Flaming Homer

>Abort Kuno-Sama
>Abort Mountain Man
>
>{Chris Rozier should have aborted her postings while she was ahead.
>But she doesn't know when to quit.}

Listen, flyspeck, I find that abortion line a bit extreme and more than
is called for. We're just kidding around and out of the blue, you jump
in and talk about killing us. That's really funny. Rather than give you
a much-needed English lesson on what can and cannot be aborted, I'll just
leave it by saying at least I'm not pansy enough to quote the Smurfs.

>"The Smurf that Smurfed Smurf"
>[The Dragon that Breathed Fire]
> --Smurfs

I don't even know what the heck you're talking about (thank God). PLEASE
don't post to explain; I'd prefer if you'd just take your lame smurf
quotes and abortion talk to alt.abort.tv.smurfs, you teeny tiny
oxygen-starved buzzing blue midget.

-Rick Senger


________________________________
| |
/)| Mountain Man |(\
/ )| c...@ucla.edu |( \
__( (|________________________________|) )__
((( \ \> /_) | \ </ / )))

(\\\ \ \_/ / "May the forces of | \_/ / ///)
\ / evil become \ /
\ _/ confused on the way \_ /
/ / to your house." | |
/ / -George Carlin | |

Sarah Fidelibus

unread,
Apr 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/17/96
to
Dave G Nelson (nyt...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:

: >>"What is Bort, anyway, does anybort bort anybort, anyway?"
: >> - Howard Bort

: >"All Moe and no play makes Moe a Moe Moe."
: > -Homer, when Moe stole his flaming Homer

: Abort Kuno-Sama
: Abort Mountain Man

What the hell is this about?

sarah irani

unread,
Apr 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/18/96
to

My band (Flanderisis) has a song:

B-b-b-bort
That's not my name!
B-b-b-bort
You're fucking insane!
B-b-b-bort
I'm gettin' irate.
B-b-b-bort
I want my liscence plate!
B-b-b-bort
This is so damn lame!
B-b-b-bort
They don't have my name!
B-b-b-bort
I'm gonna kick the shopkeepah!
B-b-b-bort
All the way to Topeka!

PRETTY BRILLIANT, EH?

I wrote all the lyrics myself...

Sarah Irani

Dave Pallone

unread,
Apr 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/18/96
to
Dedi Shy (sh...@post.tau.ac.il) wrote:
: EnsRich wrote:
: >
: > Are any of you named Bort?

:
: Not that I know of.

I think thats the whole point of the reference.

Holliman

unread,
Apr 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/18/96
to

I wouldn't admit that if I were you...


Steve


Kuno-Sama

unread,
Apr 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/18/96
to
Sarah Fidelibus (fide...@mail.sdsu.edu) wrote:

It's about Dave G Nelson PICKING on me! Waaaaaah!

- Kuno-Sama -

(Dave G Nelson is a Smurf Fetishest!)
(It's TRUE! Just as sure as I'm a Fidelibus Fetishest!)

___________________________________________
|\---KUNO=SAMA--...@ACAD1.ALASKA.EDU---/|
|O|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|P|
|T|==/ Give Me Ukyou, Or Give Me Death \==|A|
|A|=( "Aaaahh! The Bubbles Are Burning )=|G|
|K|==\ My Tongue!" - Grandpa Simpson /==|A|
|U|_______________________________________|N|
|/-SOCIALIST-ILLUMINATIST-PLATUNUM THUNDER-\|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sarah Fidelibus

unread,
Apr 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/20/96
to
Kuno-Sama (TS...@acad1.alaska.edu) wrote:
: Sarah Fidelibus (fide...@mail.sdsu.edu) wrote:

: > Dave G Nelson (nyt...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: >
: > : Abort Kuno-Sama
: > : Abort Mountain Man
: >
: > What the hell is this about?

: It's about Dave G Nelson PICKING on me! Waaaaaah!

Awwwww...poor baby;)

: - Kuno-Sama -

: (Dave G Nelson is a Smurf Fetishest!)
: (It's TRUE! Just as sure as I'm a Fidelibus Fetishest!)

D'oh!
--s


Dave G Nelson

unread,
Apr 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/21/96
to
Mountain Man <c...@ucla.edu> wrote:

>nyt...@ix.netcom.com (Dave G Nelson) wrote:
>>Mountain Man <c...@ucla.edu> wrote:
>>
>>>TS...@acad1.alaska.edu (Kuno-Sama) wrote:
>>>>Mountain Bort (c...@bort.edu) wrote:

>>>"All Moe and no play makes Moe a Moe Moe."

> -Homer, on learning that Moe has swiped his Flaming Homer

>>Abort Kuno-Sama
>>Abort Mountain Man

>Listen, flyspeck, I find that abortion line a bit extreme and more than

>is called for. We're just kidding around and out of the blue, you jump
>in and talk about killing us. That's really funny. Rather than give you
>a much-needed English lesson on what can and cannot be aborted, I'll just
>leave it by saying at least I'm not pansy enough to quote the Smurfs.

Settle down, Beavis, don't get your undies in a bunch -- fetus removal
isn't the only definition for abortion and it's not what I was
referring to.

When DOS says Abort, Retry, Fail? do you think of dead fetuses? I
think not. Abort means stop, end, quit, break, cut it out, knock it
off. Got it? Good. I'm sorry I caused this confusion.

Victim

unread,
Apr 24, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/24/96
to
In <4lbcvg$2...@hole.sdsu.edu> fide...@mail.sdsu.edu (Sarah Fidelibus) writes:

>Kuno-Sama (TS...@acad1.alaska.edu) wrote:
>: Sarah Fidelibus (fide...@mail.sdsu.edu) wrote:

>: > Dave G Nelson (nyt...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
>: >

>: > : Abort Kuno-Sama
>: > : Abort Mountain Man


>: >
>: > What the hell is this about?

>: It's about Dave G Nelson PICKING on me! Waaaaaah!

>Awwwww...poor baby;)

>: - Kuno-Sama -

>: (Dave G Nelson is a Smurf Fetishest!)
>: (It's TRUE! Just as sure as I'm a Fidelibus Fetishest!)

>D'oh!
>--s


You're all a pack of weirdos!

--
"Good Jaysus, bless us and save us, it'd sicken yer hole,
The things ya have to go through to get yer fucken dole!"
- Scary Eire ("Dole Q")
VICTIM a j w a t e r s @ a l f 2 . t c d . i e

0 new messages