Ever puke ON somebody else?
Scott gaspo Gasparian
shoes that has finally evolved from the obligatory "what do you call it"
thread, and I present for you enjoyment:
Freind of mine had picked up on this chick at one of the local
campus bars, and managed to pickle her sufficiently to convince her to
come home with him. Well, as college kids do (by god, I sure did!),
they began the ritual nasty. My buddy proceeded to lower his attitude
for a little bit of muff-diving, when he noticed that her stomach
muscles were undulating and quivering. Assuming that he was indeed
stimulating the fair lass sufficiently, he continued his little
clam-sandwich snack, UNTIL... he noticed the familiar stench of human
bile. Upon looking up (if your doing it standard, you should be sorta
looking down), discovered that our fair maiden had blown chuncks that
had landed all over her breasts, and then promptly passed out. This is
where I came in to the story, and assisted him in carrying her out to
the car, driving her home, and depositing her in her bed.
Oh, the best part was the little note we left. I don't remember
it excactly, but it went someting like "next time YOU pay for dinner"
and "perhaps a bib would have helped". I still to this day laugh when I
remember the two of us carrying this rather comatose young lady, stark
naked, through the parking lot to the car, laughing and trying not to
puke ourselves, cause whatever it was she had for dinner was very, VERY
tasty smelling now (MMMMMMMMMMMYYUUMMM).
--gaspo.
BTW, we did save some for chip-dip for saturday TV football games.
ralph just gets better the longer you keep it around!!!
/----------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| Scott "gaspo" Gasparian -- System Administrator | _>________ _<________ |
| Dept. Informatik, Eidg. Techn. Hochschule, Zurich |/[][][][][]\/[][][][][]\|
| ETH-Zentrum, CH-8092 Zurich. T# 01-01-254-7205 |`oo------oo'`oo------oo'|
| gas...@inf.ethz.ch | "Good friends we've had, or good friends we've lost, |
| ..!ethz-inf!gaspar | along the way.In this proud land,you can't forget your|
| ga...@scri.fsu.edu | past,so dry your tears I say. No woman, No cry." -BMW |
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Gregory Glockner
talent...I've been puked upon three times in my life.
The first time was by my brother. He was pretty young at the time (about 7)
and our whole family was visiting extended family in Connecticut. Well, we had
breakfast at a deli in New York, and my brother insisted on having pickles for
breakfast. As we drove to my cousins' home, my brother just turned to me and
let it go, covering me with it.
Half the humor of that story is that it was in a rental car (we're from
Chicago) and when my father dropped it off at the rent-a-car counter at the
Hartford Airport, he bitched to the poor attendant that they shouldn't have
given us the car that was rented out to some drunk ass who puked all over the
back seat.
Puke story number two also occured in my early childhood. We were having a
fifth grade 'sing', something a bit like a chorus concert. Well, the guy
standing next to me (who was a fourth grader, and a good friend of mine at the
time) was singing the "Rainbow Connection" from the Muppet Movie (I wasn't
singing this number, so I was seated). He got to the part where they sang,
"The lovers, the dreamers, and BLEEEECH!!!" all over me. The sad part of it
was that other kids got grossed out about it, and a puke epidemic occured
across the stage, with 4 or so kids tossing their cookies.
My personal favorite, though, is time number three, where I was puked upon by
a complete and utter stranger! I was visiting my grandparents a few years ago
in Florida, and my grandfather, my brother, and I went out on a Deep-Sea
Fishing excursion into the Gulf of Mexico. It was a very stormy day, and the
waters were rather rough (the day stunk further because we were "skunked,"
i.e. we caught no fish). Lots of people were getting seasick and were puking
over the side of the boat. Well, I didn't feel so hot, so for the return trip
to shore, I decided to go inside of the boat and lie down on a bench and sleep
it out. I dozed off for the hour long ride. Sometime during the ride, I vaguely
remember some random lady walking up to me and absolutely covering me, head to
toe, with puke. And she didn't even apologize!!
-- Greg Glockner, the Magnet of Puke!!
-- glogred @ yalevm.bitnet
-- glogred @ yalevm.ycc.yale.edu
James 'Kibo' Parry
>Well, I can't remember ever puking on someone else. But I have an equally fine
>talent...I've been puked upon three times in my life.
It requires great skill, not unlike comedic timing, to be in exactly the
right place, posed in exactly the right manner, to be the perfect
recipient!
> and a good friend of mine at the
>time) was singing the "Rainbow Connection" from the Muppet Movie (I wasn't
>singing this number, so I was seated). He got to the part where they sang,
>"The lovers, the dreamers, and BLEEEECH!!!" all over me. The sad part of it
>was that other kids got grossed out about it, and a puke epidemic occured
>across the stage, with 4 or so kids tossing their cookies.
Ever see the old films where they simulated a nuclear reaction by
loading 1,000 mousetraps with ping-pong balls and setting one off?
I did that with rat traps and grape jelly recently, it made a real mess.
> Sometime during the ride, I vaguely
>remember some random lady walking up to me and absolutely covering me, head to
>toe, with puke. And she didn't even apologize!!
At least she didn't charge you for it! I hate when that happens.
> -- Greg Glockner, the Magnet of Puke!!
The Duke of Puke?
--
James "Kibo" Parry ki...@rpi.edu
132 Beacon St. #213, Boston, MA 02116
(617) 262-3922
Iain D. Sinclair
>In article <91066.203...@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu> GLO...@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu (Gregory Glockner) writes:
>> Sometime during the ride, I vaguely
>>remember some lady walking up to me and absolutely covering me, head to
>>toe, with puke. And she didn't even apologize!!
>
>At least she didn't charge you for it! I hate when that happens.
:-)
Actually, one of my good friends has nothing but success with the
mayonnaise niagara -- it has proved to be his best chat-up line! Yes,
he met his girlfriend of two years by dicing the carrots onto her lap.
Every true Australian has a breathtaking repetoire of vomit stories, from
the "gutter volcanos" to the "infamous bus trip incidents" (yes, me
included). Who needs urban folklore, when the real thing is so much
more fascinating?
--
Iain Dick // axolotl@socs // University of Technology, Sydney ,',
Sinclair // .uts.edu.au // (Research Assistant) +61 2 2812552 ,`
J.Houttuin
pogo, drinking beer and eating saucages probably made too much of a
junk-shake in his stomach. Threw up over some other punks.
Glad I was behind him at that moment. Funny that nobody really seemed
to bother.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeroen Houttuin
\\|||// +41 1 2623141
|o o| hout...@verw.switch.ch
--w----v----w-----------------------------------------------------------
Erik The Goblin
back when I decided that drinking half a bottle of vodka in 20 mins was
a good idea. I then had a bit to eat and soon I felt that familiar
feeling of an approaching vom. I got up and ran for the toilet, but
unfortunately didn't make it and proceeded to puke where I'd got to,
which unfortunately for this guy, was all down the leg of his trousers!
Also my glasses dropped off during the puke so I had to pick them up and
clean them. What made it really funny was that most of the people at
this party were boring christians and the guy I puked on had come to the
party with his new girlfreind to introduce her to them all! Apparently
she wasn't too impressed.
*----------------------*-------------------*---------------------------------*
| Erik the Goblin |'Somewhere you | 'While friends and lovers mourn |
*----------------------* wouldn't like ... | your silly grave........ I have |
|R.J.Cl...@uk.ac.ncl| with your sister!'| other uses for you darling!'-AC |
*----------------------*-------------------*---------------------------------*
Matthew Harelick
After reading the article about people vomitting on each other, I was
wondering if people could think up synonyms for vomitting. I can
contribute the following:
Pray to the Porcelin God
Technicolor Yawn
Drop Your Cookies
D.W.D.J.R.
Blowen Chunks...
Spewin.....
This reminds me when I was in High school....
My friend and I went out a drank a 5th
of Southern Comfort one night,mixed
with beer,and anything else we could
steal from our parents....
Well after we drank everything in sight
we scarffed on Top Ramen noodles,
hot dogs,chips,and nachos(nice combo!)
After being fully stuffed with booze
and food,I stumbled home.
I got into bed,fell asleep before
my head hit the pillow!
My bed was set up with two night
stands on each side,well I woke
up in the morning to find the
entire contents of my stomach
on the left night stand!(VERY GROSS!!)
I got out of bed and ran for my dog,
thinking he did it!
I then took a good look at it
and knew it was from me!!!
I'm just happy that I did not choke and die!(or kill my dog)
Have a nice lunch everyone!!
DoUg
David W Morton IE88
This topic reminds me of a story somebody told me (sorry Urban Folklore
hunters, this one's true!). Anyway, this person came home completely pissed
one night and had to make a sprint for the bathroom. This was unfortunately
unsuccessful and our hero barfed all over the carpet. All he could do about
it was stagger off to bed and pass out. When he woke up in the morning, he
groaned and went to clean up the mess, but it was gone. Seems his brother
returned home after him in a similar state, had seen the mess and thought he
had done it without noticing, so he cleaned it up!
--
* | *
* David W Morton | To reply, try - *
* Strathclyde Uni | dmo...@cs.strath.ac.uk *
* Glasgow | OR: dmo...@uk.ac.strath.cs *
* Scotland | OR: write!it!on!a!paper!plane!and!throw!it!HARD *
* | *
Mike Hare
>Ralph...
>Blowen Chunks...
>Spewin.....
>
Have you seen "Wayne's World" on "Saturday Night Live" ?
Garth: "I'm gonna Hurl !"
Wayne: "Don't do that, your house will take on Hurl Whiff!"
James 'Kibo' Parry
I prefer the words that pertain only to certain people vomiting, e.g.
the two hundred slang expressions documented (so far) for Kibo barfing:
Kibarf
Kiblowing cookies
Kiblaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggglllllllllhhhhwwwwwuuuuuulllllllppppppp
and so on...
Jack Campin
[ about being puked on by a seasick stranger ]
There is a wonderful sequence about this in Louis-Ferdinand Celine's "Death
on Credit" (the earlier translation was titled "Death on the Installment
Plan": I don't know the French title) where a single incident like this
ends up with a whole Cross-Channel ferryload of erstwhile ultra-respectable
middle-class French tourists slathering each other with vomit.
Celine in later life became such a raving anti-Semite that he got an article
rejected by a Nazi magazine on the grounds of "racist delirium", but that's
another story...
--
-- Jack Campin Computing Science Department, Glasgow University, 17 Lilybank
Gardens, Glasgow G12 8QQ, Scotland 041 339 8855 x6854 work 041 556 1878 home
JANET: ja...@cs.glasgow.ac.uk BANG!net: via mcsun and ukc FAX: 041 330 4913
INTERNET: via nsfnet-relay.ac.uk BITNET: via UKACRL UUCP: ja...@glasgow.uucp
Craig Arno Mrusek
Anyway, here are a few I can think of right off...
1) Booting
2) Hurling
3) Yakking
4) Whistling Beef
and my personal favorite...
4) Talking to Ralph on the Big White Telephone
More coming up (pun intended) if I can think of 'em.
By the way, if there are any real vomit synonym aficianados out there,
I highly recommend picking up the book "Beer Drinking Games." This book
contains among other things, the most comprehensive, exhaustive list of
barf euphemisms I have ever seen! This thing was written by 3 guys who
decided to canvas colleges and universities in hopes of gaining enough
info to assemble THE definitive collection of beer drinking games. I
cannot stress enough how funny this book is!!! It is very cheap ($4.95
I think) and actually quite informative. If you like beer, throwing up,
or just a good laugh- BUY THIS BOOK! (I believe it has a photograph of a
gorilla hefting a frothy mug of brew on the cover).
P.S. If anyone out there has this book, he or she may want to post some
of the more humorous listings. Hint, Hint, Hint!
P.P.S. The only gripe I DO have with this book is that it classified
Genessee Cream Ale as being one of the the most notorious "swill beers"
in existence. Seeing as Genessee Cream Ale is my favorite brew, I
naturally took offense! Am I the only one in this great beer-loving
country who appreciates savoring the delicate yet agressive tang of a
"green screamer??!!" C'mon GCA fanatics, I know you're out there!
Stand up for your favorite cheap beer! Don't be afraid or embarrassed!
Well, I suppose now I've planted the seeds of :
netnews.alt.tasteless.yucky.beers
Ah well... Enjoy!
-Craig
TASMAN
>
> [vomiting comments deleted]
>
> P.P.S. The only gripe I DO have with this book is that it classified
> Genessee Cream Ale as being one of the the most notorious "swill beers"
> in existence. Seeing as Genessee Cream Ale is my favorite brew, I
> naturally took offense! Am I the only one in this great beer-loving
> country who appreciates savoring the delicate yet agressive tang of a
> "green screamer??!!" C'mon GCA fanatics, I know you're out there!
> Stand up for your favorite cheap beer!
of man or woman to hack the stuff. Most Genesee Cream lovers can be
seen hunched over the front of a neighborhood bar on the East Side of
Buffalo, mug of Genesee in one hand, other hand planted firmly on the
crotch. There's a few brave students out there who are willing to
ignore the comments of their friends and respect the side effects of
the Screamer, and buy a case of Pounders (Genesee in 16 ounce stubby
bottles) fot the BYOB party.
The cold, cold case of smooth Pounders will sit untouched in the
fridge, mostly used as a last resort when the Molson Ale runs out. The
better for the Genee lover...more of the green stuff for you to drink.
While your friends puke their guts out on Milwaukee's Best, Black
Label or Keystone, you savor the effects of the Screamer some twelve
hours later, as you sit on the toilet in holy contemplation. You
declare the resulting island, a large island at that, in the name of
the City of Rochester.
Geneseeing is believing...
You can count on Genny taste, 'cause it's brewed in just one place...
Geneseeing is believing!
Now, for people with some very large cojones, there's Utica Club Cream
Ale...
Dan Tasman New Mexico State University, USA
dta...@DANTE.nmsu.edu City of Las Cruces Planning Department
"I think that I shall never see, A billboard lovely as a tree
Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all..."
OGDEN NASH, Song of the Open Road
Bsmart
(Iain D. Sinclair) writes:
> Every true Australian has a breathtaking repetoire of vomit stories
And from what I hear, like the fabled 47 Eskimo words for snow, you have
a rich and full-bodied vocabulary for vomiting as well. I suppose every
major pastime engenders its own technical jargon -- could you perhaps
list as many words and phrases descriptive of or related to puking as
you know? I'm sure it would raise the level of literary style in the
hash-flashing stories to follow!
Andreas Chatziantoniou
Go and talk to HORST from the waterworks.
Hoooooooorrrrrst
David A Guidry
The best puke story I can remember was about two of my suite-mates (6
people, one bath and a private living room... kinda like an apartment with
no kitchen). Brad was a holy-roller and Brian was a hell raiser. Brian
regurlarly got drunk and one night he got particularly bombed... he went
into his/Brad's room and climbed into the top bunk (his). Some time later,
he leans over the edge and says "Hey, Brad!". Brad sticks his head out to
look Brian in the face and gets a faceful! It was priceless.
--
David Guidry, Student Consultant | Support our troops in the Liberation
Academic Computing and Network | of Kuwait
Services Northwestern University | "Somebody wanna take God out back and
gui...@casbah.acns.nwu.edu | hose him off?" -- _Downtown_
Geoff Miller
My dad told me about a friend of his in college who take a date to a
formal dance. The guy was really drunk, and threw up into his date's
cleavage and all over the front of her evening gown while they were dancing.
Geoff
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller + + + + + + + + Sun Microsystems
geo...@purplehaze.EBay.sun.com + + + + + + + + Milpitas, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
DAVID-HAFF
My college friends and I used to have several. One was that you "were seeing
crosshairs" like through a rifle scope. That was specifically for target
vomiting, whether you had a specific target in mind.
Another was "playing the slots" where your arm jerks down, then up, your eyes
roll back in your head a few times, and JACKPOT!!!!
Some more:
Calling RALPH on the Great White Phone
Toilet-Hugging (pretty boring, but what imagery!)
Driving the Porcelin bus
Blowing Chuncks
Just my $0.02. Just goes to show that my college education wasn't a total
waste.
*******************************************************************************
* David P. Haff "ha...@evax.eng.fsu.edu"** "Death Of Mother Earth * GO *
* Department of Electrical Engineering ** Never A Rebirth * 'Noles!! *
* FAMU/FSU College of Engineering ** Evolution's End **************
* Tallahassee, FL 32316-2175 ** Never Will It Mend" - Metallica *
*******************************************************************************
Daniel B. Bucher
> By the way, if there are any real vomit synonym aficianados out there,
>I highly recommend picking up the book "Beer Drinking Games." This book
>contains among other things, the most comprehensive, exhaustive list of
>barf euphemisms I have ever seen! This thing was written by 3 guys who
>decided to canvas colleges and universities in hopes of gaining enough
>info to assemble THE definitive collection of beer drinking games.
Those guys who wrote it, they went to my
school (UCSB) and I'm curious, did they include
"Uehling" as a synonym for pukeing? that's our
Chancellor, Barbara Uehling.
Danny (uehl! uehl!) B.
Ian G Batten
> talent...I've been puked upon three times in my life.
Well indeed, but I can only claim once. I went up to a climbing hut in
Wales with a couple of friends...well, let's be honest, a woman I'm very
fond of and her husband to be. We had spent slightly longer over the
North Ridge of Tryfan than we should and were pretty de-hydrated by the
time we got back.
The hut is normally mixed dorms, but a group of Catholic teacher
training students had rented it for the week and partitioned it men
upstairs, women downstairs. The three of us had holed up in the corner
of the upstairs bunkroom (with me employing the ``I'm a member, who are
YOU'' argument). Said young catholics didn't quite seem clear on the
dynamic between the three of us and treated us like they might catch
something. Like real life, perhaps.
We sank about four litres of Merrydown cider after dinner and staggered
upstairs at about midnight. We all crawled into our sleeping bags
feeling rough and emotionally fraught (I was working out my notice after
three years as a student and two working for the department, they'd just
finished their degrees, etc). [Woman] then proceeded to vent her share
of the cider over me. There is an argument that states that intimacy
with those of whom you are fond cements some sort of bond. I think this
goes just that little bit beyond that...
Since we followed it up with a morning discussion of the impact this
throwing up would have on her pill we were treated with even more
disdain by the assembled masses.
The following morning we set out for a trip up over the Gribbin and on
to the Glyders but ended up sleeping off the damage in the sun and
watching the keen climb on the Idwal slabs. Happy days.
ian
D. James McGregor
That's pretty pathetic! Get some of this.
abdominable voorheaves
barf
bark at ants
blow
blow beets
blow breakfast
blow chow
blow chunks
blow din-din
blow doughnuts
blow foam
blow groceries
blow lunch
boke
boot
boot camp
boot camp
bow down before the porcelain god
brack
bring it up for a vote
brown-nose it
buick
buy my buick
call buicks
call dinosaurs
call for huey
call to the seals (arrrrrr aaarrrrrrrrrr)
call uncle ralph
catch it on the rebound
chuck a pizza
chunder
chunderspew
clean house
commode hugging
decorate pavement
deliver street pizza
disgorge
divulge dinner
drain the main
dribble phlem
drive the porcelain bus
earl
feed the fish
feed the houseplants
feed your young
fertilize the sidewalk
gack
gag
give an oral sacrifice at the altar of the porcelain god
go to europe with ralph and earl in a buick
heave
hork
huey
hug the porcelain wishing well
hurl
induce antiperistalsis
inverse gut
involuntary personal protein spill
jump shot
kneel before the porcelain throne
lateral cookie toss
laugh at the carpet
launch lunch
leave lunch
liquid laugh
liquid scream
liquidate your assets
look for o'rourke
lose flourescent christmas cheer
lose some chopped carrots
lose weight
lose your lunch
lunch
make a (technicolor) tribute to disney
make an offering to the porcelain god
make food offerings to the china gods
meet my friends ralph and earl
negative chug
offer a sacrifice to ralph, the porcelain god
order buicks over the big white phone
organic output
parbreake
plant beets
power barf
power boot
pray at the porcelain altar
pray to the porcelain goddess
pray to the porcelain gods
protein spill.
psychadelic spit
puke
ralph
read the toilet
regurgitate
retch
reverse diarrhea
reverse drink
reverse gears
reverse gut
reverse peristalsis
ride the regurgitron
round trip meal ticket
scream cookies
sell a buick
sell cars (fooooorrrrd!!! buuuuuuiiiccccckkkk! hyuuuundai!!!!)
shout at your shoes
shout europe at the sink
sing lunch
sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china bowl
sing to the sink
slam barf
sneeze cheeze
sneeze chunks
spew
spew snacks
spew spuds
spill the groceries
talk to god on the big white telephone
talk to huey down the big white telephone.
talk to john on the porcelain telephone
talk to ralph on the big white telephone
talk to rrraaalllfffff on the camode-a-phone
talk to the carpet
taste dinner
technicolor yawn
technicolor yodel
the brooklyn mating call
the jersey yodel
throw dinner
thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
toss your cookies
toss your tacos
un-eat
upchuck
vector-spew
vomit
wolf
woof
worship at the porcelain altar
worship the porcelain god
wretch
yak
yeech
yell at the ground
yell for hughie
york
yuke
I think that about covers it.
James
--
.$. |>. _| /\ /\/\ <- _\~ /\/\ < [_+ /~ <- [_+ <> /~
| D. James McGregor e-mail dmcg...@cs.strath.ac.uk
| "... and if you ever come across us, don't give us
| your sympathy. You can buy us a drink, and just
| shake our hands ..." - Marillion, The Last Straw
John Cowan
>
> O.K., let's hear some stories about puking from high places.
A former co-worker of mine, a natty dresser, was once walking down Wall St.
on his way to work. Somebody leaned out the window from 15-20 stories up
and booted on him. He had to go home and take his suit to the dry-cleaners.
The very next time he wore the suit, a pigeon pooped on him. I believe that
suit is now in permanent retirement.
John Cowan
at one time or another. Having slightly stomach-sour infant formula cover you
from shoulder to navel while burping the baby is something to delight the
heart of every true alt.tasteless lover.
Erik The Goblin
Just to add a few..
Talking to God on the great white telephone.
Driving the porcelain truck.
Spewing (and it's close derivative- Spew your ring)
Barfing
Bye the way did any of you out there notice how you can speak
Swahilli(sp?) whilst
vomming? ;-)
.sick?
Darrin Dailey
>
> O.K., let's hear some stories about puking from high places.
>
>Chris Colby
I was once puked on from a height. I was at the bottom of a
ferris wheel when some dude at the top launched his lunch from the very top
of it. It came down and hit the center hub creating a rather decent spray
effect. It covered every body with a fine spray. The stuff that landed on
my hand smelled like bourbon... The wheel was about six stories tall.
Darrin Dailey
Grant Mason
I found one in a very early Viz comic : razz
Grant
Stephen Mounsey
>
> My bed was set up with two night
> stands on each side,well I woke
> up in the morning to find the
> entire contents of my stomach
> on the left night stand!(VERY GROSS!!)
>
When I was a wee laddie (about the age of 9) I was sent to a boarding school
in Yorkshire (this because my parents lived, and I was born a brought up, in
Zambia). Illnesses, particularly gastro-intestinal upsets, were pretty common
owing to poor food, inadequate sanitation and compulsory short trousers, not
to mention the joys of being liberally pissed on if you went to the urinals
at the wrong time (ah, the stories I could tell of the joys of the English
Preparatory School!). Well, one of my bouts of gastritis came upon me in my
sleep and I woke up in the early hours of the morning, in my top bunk, to
a gradual awareness that I was surrounded by something warm and sludgy. In
my half-sleep the sensation was not unpleasant, warmth being at something of
a premium in this school at the best of times. Unfortunately, as I regained
full consciousness I was less than inpressed by the fact of lying in a large
pool of my own vomit, cradling the entire upper half of my body, as it puddled
in the dip in the old mattress. Trying to be inconspicuous, and dripping
partially digested stomach contents through a dormitory of sleeping boys, I
made my way to "Matron"'s room to get myself cleaned up and thoroughly told
off.
Another time, I managed to run fast enough to make it to the nearest
toilet, but regrettably mostly missed the bowl. Some went down the sleeve
of my woolen jumper, most on the seat and floor. Particularly regrettable
was the fact that this was the _teachers'_ loo and its use was absolutely
forbidden to pupils. Naturally, I did the decent thing and didn't mention
the incident to anyone. As a result of not admitting the accident, I
had to clean up my own sleeve, and since such garments were probably only
washed once a term, I had to tolerate the smell of stale vomit soaked wool
for several weeks. That this state went un-noticed probably says something
about the other denizens of Red House School.
-Stephen.
John Wichers
The canonical list of vomit names
---------------------------------
spew chips
spew snacks
spew spuds
spill the groceries
talk to god on the big white telephone
talk to huey down the big white telephone.
talk to john on the porcelain telephone
talk to ralph on the big white telephone
talk to rrraaalllfffff on the camode-a-phone
talk to the carpet
taste dinner
technicolor yawn
technicolor yodel
the brooklyn mating call
the jersey yodel
throw dinner
thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
toss your cookies
toss your tacos
un-eat
upchuck
vector-spew
vomit
whistling beef
wolf
woof
worship at the porcelain altar
worship the porcelain god
wretch
yak
yeech
yell at the ground
yell for hughie
york
yuke
Lunch, anyone?
--jjw
--
Her eyes were cold and || John Wichers || wic...@husc4.harvard.edu
harsh, which made them || 121 Museum St #2, Somerville Ma. 02143
tough to chew. - Danno || Anarchy - It's not a law, it's just a good idea.
|| Jesus saves sinners ... and redeems them for valuable cash prizes!!! ||
j...@cadillac.corp.sun.com
and got totally drunk. They ended up at his dates house and proceeded to
behave as horny teenagers are apt, BUT, while he was um, er, "munching
her carpet" so to speak, he finished by emptying his stomach right on
crotch & stomach. Gross! He was my hero after that one...!
Another good one:
Somewhat similar to the first story:
A friend of mine invited this girl he just me over for dinner. Well, they
both got really drunk later in the evening and proceeded to engage in sexual
activities. This is too funny...he was um, er getting her from behind and
starting feeling sick and before he could um, er dismount he ralphed all over
her back! Then he passed out! It get's worse....the next morning he wakes
up, totally hung over, and finds that sometime after he passed out that his
"date" had taken a dump on his forehead! There was a little pile of shit
on his forehead! I about died laughing when he told me the...he was less
than amused though.
The things people do to one another for amusement....
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
James Mangin |"I'll be the |All opinions are my own (or maybe
Sun Microsystems, Inc. |the first to |Angus Young) and in no way reflect
Palo Alto, California. |die"-Bon Scott|those of Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Randy Brown
Fortunately, these stories are many years old:
When on a band trip we proceeded to purchase a can of Alphabet Soup (lots
o' nummy chunks, letters, tomato soup) and prepare for the arrival of
one of our 'compatriots'. Spectators waited on the stairway landing on the
second floor, and as he began walking up the stairs, I came running down the
hallway, made gurgling noises, ran to the landing railing, and 'blew' the
entire can of soup down to meet its fate. Perfect timing, as he looked up,
it was all over (so to speak).
Everyone proceeded to run screaming (and laughing) into their hotel rooms
and locked all the doors behind them, so as to avoid "The Attack of Todd".
Another less cruel story involves me and a friend, end of the semester,
we both order "Super Shuttle" pizzas which have everything, and eat them
in about 5 minutes, then start on the cases of beer available. He eventually
browns out after I have thrown him into the bathroom once for a spew session,
and then carried him back to his room. He decides (consciously or not) that
he is not done, and proceeds to fire again. I put him on the floor, and he
begins some fascinating gastronomic exercises wherein he is laying on his
side, performs a convulsion and spews like a fire-breather across the floor.
I towel up as much as possible and get ready to leave. Then I remember (in
my haze) that John still has his contacts in. Can't leave them in all night,
right? So, I roll him onto his bed, say "John, this is going to hurt you
more that it will hurt me" (although it didn't) and removed his contacts
for him. Me, being the contact expert that I was (never had'em), performed
flawlessly and didn't even have to replace an eyeball (his or mine).
John wakes up in the morning, looks at his alarm clock by his bed, and sees
a mushroom on it. Must have had another nocturnal nagasaki.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. or mind. or stomach.
--
---
br...@cs.unc.edu or uunet!mcnc!unc!brown
Tout abus sera puni.
Simon McClenahan
A couple of years ago (when I was 18 or 19 I guess), I had a very large meal of
pasta before going to bed. I was feeling rather queazy in the middle of the
night (I doubt whether it was because of the pasta), and basically, I remember
sitting up, thinking "I'd better get to the dunny, quick!", and releasing my
dinner free on the bed as I sat up. I sat in a pool (literally) of my own vomit.
Good thing mum was there to clean it up for me :-)
She has never let me forget that night...
--
|Simon McClenahan CSIRO, | Cray Supercomputing Support Group |
|55 Barry St, Carlton, | (TEL) +61 3 347 8644 (FAX) +61 3 347 8987 |
|VIC 3053, Australia | Internet:sim...@mel.dit.csiro.au |
| Waste not what I want... |
John Kupec
I was reading Gargantua by Rabelais yesterday and came across "flayed the fox"
as another way of describing a spew.
--
John Kupec, Agouron Pharmaceuticals, Inc., La Jolla, CA
j...@scripps.edu or uunet!agouron!kupec
Jheri Birchett
>suit is now in permanent retirement.
Speaking about getting pooped on, In the eighth grade (several years
ago) a good friend of mine was targeted by a seagull right on his
brand new Derby jacket, The poop hit his shoulder and splattered on
his neck, after wipeing his neck off and takeing off the jacket he
proceeded to walk to the boys room.. Well, just before getting to the
bathroom another seagull (with very good aim I might add) pooped
right on the top of his head... Kind of funny to see a friend in your
next class with a wet derby jacket and wet hair explain to the teacher
why he was late to class................................... @B^(
NEVER GIVE A SEAGULL A SECOND CHANCE
Graham P McDermott CS88
something or other and we decided halfway through the night that it
would be a great idea to drink tequila slammers.
After 7 or 8 we met a few friends and all sat down together
on a few steps.This I found out was to be a big mistake.After my next tequila I
felt the unmistakable feeling of the dreaded Vomm.Without warning I let go
and a large spray of it went over everyone, at the sight of this three or four
of the others let go too,which then set me off again.
I remember the looks we got from the others round about us....
What made that night even more memorable was that later on I
was walking down some stairs missed the last two and hurt my
ankle.I continued dancing at the disco we went to and found out
the next day after a trip to the hospital that I had broken it.
four weeks in plaster......
Graham
:wq quit exit
goddamit how do you quit thi
D. James McGregor
year. It was my nineteenth birthday, and I went out with a bunch of friends to
celebrate, and had quite a few beers in the process. I got back to halls,
after having about four or five pints, and found that my friends had prepared
a little surprise in the form of eight cans of 80/- beer, and a bottle of
Eldorado fortified wine. As a challenge, I had to drink the wine in less than
fifteen minutes (no mean task) and polish off all the beer as well. This I did
in about two hours, and at the end of it, was *extremely* drunk. I was lying
on my bed, feeling very ill, when my room-mate opened the door and a couple of
lassies came in to wish me happy birthday. They propped me up for this bit,
and I sat there, eyes rolling, feeling suddenly extremely nauseous. I
restrained the urge to actually throw up, and collapsed fitfully back onto the
bed. My room-mate and the girls had moved to just outside the door, which was
ajar, and were chatting away. Suddenly I could restrain myself no more, and
sat up very unsteadily to toss my cookies into the sink, which, fortunately,
happened to be at the end of my bed. What was less fortunate was, that in my
haste to sit up before showering myself in puke, I managed to completely
forget that I had no co-ordination left whatsoever, and threw my protein spill
in huge projectile vomit style clean over the sink, through the door, and over
the two girls who had just wished me happy birthday. Staggering to my feet, I
closed the door, and finished off singing to the sink in true psychadelic
glory, and it went all over it, the mirror, the toothbrushes and everything
else wthin a radius of about three feet. Somehow, I cleaned it all up (more or
less) and went to bed.
My room-mate went out after that, and also got completely sloshed that same
evening. He came back, while I was asleep, and barfed vociferously into the
sink himself, but didn't clean it up, deciding to go straight to sleep. Then,
I woke up in the middle of the night, dying for a glass of water, and tried to
feel my way to find the sink, and was shocked when my hands came across
something hot, wet and squelchy all over the sink. Stunned, I switched on the
light, and saw the result of my room-mate blowing groceries all over it.
Pissed off at this point, and still half drunk, I grabbed the toothbrush cup on
top of the sink, filled it to overflowing with good, solid chunder (and there
wasn't exactly a shortage, believe me) and poured it over my room-mate's head.
Then, satisfied, I went back to bed. We both woke up with wicked hangovers.
--
.$. |>. _| /\ /\/\ <- _\~ /\/\ < [_+ /~ <- [_+ <> /~ +--------------------+
| D. James McGregor e-mail dmcg...@cs.strath.ac.uk | Beware of software |
| "... and if you ever come across us, don't give us | engineers bearing |
| your sympathy. You can buy us a drink, and just | screwdrivers! |
| shake our hands ..." --- Marillion, The Last Straw +--------------------+
Chris Wargaski
|> Hi Folks,
|> After reading the article about people vomitting on each other, I was
|> wondering if people could think up synonyms for vomitting. I can
|> contribute the following:
|>
|> Pray to the Porcelin God
|> Technicolor Yawn
|> Drop Your Cookies
Barf
Dice Carrots
Creating modern art
Boot
Yak
Spew the stuff
Give hommage to the porcelin God
Ralf
any more out there?
--
_______________________________________________________________________________
"Hey, you sass that hoopy |"No one knows what it's like|
Ford Prefect? There's a | to be the bad man, |c...@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
frood who really knows | to be the sad man, |ACNS
where his towel is." -DA | behind blue eyes. -The Who |DSS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R Renwick
|In article <26...@njitgw.njit.edu|, ma...@mars.njit.edu (Matthew Harelick) writes:
||| Hi Folks,
||| After reading the article about people vomitting on each other, I was
||| wondering if people could think up synonyms for vomitting. I can
||| contribute the following:
|||
||| Pray to the Porcelin God
||| Technicolor Yawn
||| Drop Your Cookies
|Blow chunks
|Barf
|Dice Carrots
|Creating modern art
|Boot
|Yak
|Spew the stuff
|Give hommage to the porcelin God
|Ralf
Having a chat to God on the big white phone.
Rik (no this isn't a synonym for puke)
Graham P McDermott CS88
Pavement Pizza..
Talking to Hughie..
Re-aquainting yourself with breakfast..
+Graham McDermott---------+ Their was a young man from Lyme,---------------+
|4th Year Computer Science| Who couldn't get his limericks to sound right, |
|Strathclyde University | When asked why not, |
|Glasgow G1 1XQ | it was said that he thought, |
+-------------------------+ they were too long and badly structured. ------+
Fibre Optics
>I was reading Gargantua by Rabelais yesterday and came across "flayed the fox"
>as another way of describing a spew.
Ah ! A positively stupendous book....
Compulsory reading for all alt.tasteless readers.
>--
>John Kupec, Agouron Pharmaceuticals, Inc., La Jolla, CA
>j...@scripps.edu or uunet!agouron!kupec
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Harris G4BDQ P.Ha...@ecs.soton.ac.uk
Optical Fibre Group Southampton University
"I think a good song for you would be a 55 minute Louie Louie" -- Iggy Pop
rat boy
# I remember one occasion when a few friends and I were out celebrating
# something or other and we decided halfway through the night that it
# would be a great idea to drink tequila slammers.
#
# After 7 or 8 we met a few friends and all sat down together
# on a few steps.This I found out was to be a big mistake.After my next tequila
I
# felt the unmistakable feeling of the dreaded Vomm.Without warning I let go
# and a large spray of it went over everyone, at the sight of this three or
four
# of the others let go too,which then set me off again.
# I remember the looks we got from the others round about us....
#
# What made that night even more memorable was that later on I
# was walking down some stairs missed the last two and hurt my
# ankle.I continued dancing at the disco we went to and found out
# the next day after a trip to the hospital that I had broken it.
#
# four weeks in plaster......
#
#
# Graham
# :wq quit exit
# goddamit how do you quit thi
#
No joke here, i just like this guy's .sig.
MA...@lure.latrobe.edu.au
> Every true Australian has a breathtaking repetoire of vomit stories, from
> the "gutter volcanos" to the "infamous bus trip incidents" (yes, me
> included). Who needs urban folklore, when the real thing is so much
> more fascinating?
>
> --
> Iain Dick // axolotl@socs // University of Technology, Sydney ,',
> Sinclair // .uts.edu.au // (Research Assistant) +61 2 2812552 ,`
To wit:
When I was in the High School Cadets (hey--I thought they were like
scouts), we went on a very long bus trip on a very windy road. One
of the sargeants was a real gung ho type. Set a good example for the
troops and all that.
He puked on the bus trip, but we didn't find out until about an hour later.
When the bus finally stopped and he got off, he spat out the puke he'd
held in his cheeks for the last hour. Incredible.
--
Andrej
Peter Anthony Low
the czar" and "cookie launching"
SWEET
It's not a technicolor yawn unless you've been drinking food coloring.