NEW MUFF: Who's Afraid of Intendant Kira? 1/3 (DS9, B/alt-G & K/alt-K, PG13)
Kathryn Ramage
Author: Kathryn Ramage
Series: DS9
Codes: B/alt-G & K/alt-K
Rating: PG13
Part: 1/3
See Intro for summary, disclaimer, notes, etc...
~*~
Act I
A darkened room on Terek Nor. The lights come on as the door slides
open. Intendant Kira strides in, First Officer Garak following.
We can now see that they have entered the sitting room of the In-
tendant's suite, which is in obvious disarray: cast-off articles of
clothing belonging to the Intendant are scattered over most of the
furniture, and the tables and floor are cluttered with half-finished
glasses of various colored beverages, some of which have toppled
over and spilled.
Intendant Kira [surveying the mess]: What a dump! [turning back
to Garak] What was it the poet Amanis said about returning to
chaos?
Garak: I don't remember, Intendant.
Intendant Kira: Yes, you do! It was in the 'Song of B'hala Lost.'
[She plucks discarded clothing off the plush lounge at the center
of the room and stuffs it under the cushions.] Amanis travels
for many years, all over Bajor, and when he returns to B'hala,
he finds it in ruins. [She picks up a discarded glass from the
table at the foot of the lounge, considers the remaining purplish
liquid within, then bolts it down.] And he says something. What
was it?
Garak [more stolidly]: Intendant, I do not recall. I'm afraid I'm
not conversant with all of the works of your great Bajoran poets.
Intendant Kira: I'm not asking you to remember every piece of
Bajoran poetry ever written. Just this one. You _must_ know it.
It's a very famous poem, about a once-mighty civilization that's
crumbled into decay. Amanis returns to B'hala, and he looks over
the ruins of the ancient temple, the empty streets of his beloved
city, and he throws his arms out in a gesture of absolute despair.
[She pauses in the task of picking up more scattered clothing and
demonstrates.] And he says [dramatically]: 'Ah, B'hala, how thy
glory has fallen...'
Garak [echoing without inflection]: 'Ah, B'hala, how thy glory
has fallen.'
Intendant Kira: No-ooo, that's not it. Don't you know anything?
[She looks at the mess around her again, and flings away the
clothing she's holding with a cry of frustration.] I shouldn't
have had _all_ my body servants executed at once! Garak, help
me clean this up.
Garak: As you wish, Intendant. [He begins to gather up glasses.]
I really don't understand why you're making such a fuss. The dis-
order of your rooms has never concerned you before.
Intendant Kira: But we're having company tonight.
Garak: Are we? [He puts the glasses in the disposal unit while
the Intendant resumes picking things up.] Who?
Intendant Kira: That very attractive Major Kira that the Klingons
picked up in the Denorios Belt.
Garak [softly]: Ahh...of course. The 'attractive' Major.
Intendant Kira [not hearing him]: I've asked her to join me this
evening. Her Terran companion will be here too--she refused to
come without him. I thought you could entertain him, while the
Major and I discuss a few important matters, and entertain your-
self as well.
Garak: If you insist, Intendant. I hope you aren't planning to
discuss the Alliance-
Intendant Kira: I'll talk about anything I want to! [She shoves
an armload of clothing at him.] Get rid of these while I go and
change. [The door chimes.]
Garak: Too late. Your guests have arrived.
Intendant Kira: Enter! [The door opens to reveal two Klingon guards
escorting Major Kira and Bashir. The Intendant comes forward with
a huge smile.] Major Kira Nerys, welcome!
Major Kira [warily entering the room]: You sent for us, Intendant?
[She stumbles forward as the Klingons thrust the doctor through
the doorway behind her, then depart.]
Intendant Kira: I know how strange and unsettling all of this must
seem to you. How frightened you must be, lost in another universe.
What better way to reassure you that you are among friends than to
welcome you personally in my own quarters?
Bashir: Anything that keeps me out ore processing is fine with me.
Intendant Kira [ignoring him]: And this will be such a wonderful
opportunity for us to get to know each other. Garak, order drinks
for the Major and me. The Terran too--I'm in a generous mood! Make
our guests welcome, and I'll go and slip into something...more com-
fortable. [to Kira] I was just going to freshen up. Why don't
you come and give me a hand?
Major Kira [reluctantly]: Yes, all right.
Intendant Kira [as she leads the Major into the bedroom]: I've been
having a terrible time keeping servants lately... [The door closes
behind the two Kiras, leaving Bashir nervously alone with Garak.]
Garak: What will you have?
Bashir: Oh, anything's fine. [He sits down on the lounge and,
finding himself on a discarded piece of lingerie, tugs it free,
and quickly tosses it to the floor.]
Garak [placing an order at the replicator]: Four Talbarian Roq'eg
blasters. [to Bashir] The Intendant's favorite. I'm sure you and
the Major will enjoy them too. [He takes the tray of drinks from
the replicator and places it on the table beside the lounge.] They
look remarkably alike, don't they--Major Kira and the Intendant?
I must admit, it came as quite a surprise when the two of you were
brought aboard Terek Nor, and I first saw your Major. [He hands
Bashir one of the drinks.] But, in spite of her...formidable per-
sonality, she is an attractive woman.
Bashir [confused]: Major Kira?
Garak [smiling]: Intendant Kira. Major Kira is your Kira.
Bashir: Well, she's not _my_ Kira, exactly. We were just- ah-
traveling together. [He tries his drink and finds it surprisingly
strong but, since Garak is watching him for a reaction, he takes
a second, larger gulp.] In fact, I don't think she likes me much.
Garak: Oh, I find that hard to believe.
Bashir: No, it's true. She thinks I'm arrogant. Annoying. A
spoiled, over-privileged child. [Another gulp.] I don't believe
she'd mind it very much if you did send me off to ore processing.
Garak: Intendant Kira?
Bashir: No, Major Kira. My- [He stops suddenly and smiles.] You're
playing with me, aren't you? The way my Garak does.
Garak: You have your very own Garak?
Bashir [growing uncomfortable again]: Er- yes.
Garak: Unfortunately, I have no Bashir of my own. [He is still
smiling benignly, but Bashir begins to fidget with the drink he
is holding; he finishes it off, and looks relieved when the Kiras
return. The Intendant is now wearing her purple party dress.]
Garak: Intendant, how charming you look! I didn't know that you
planned to attend Temple this evening.
Intendant Kira: I thought we might make an appearance on the Pro-
menade. I feel like celebrating tonight, to show off my new friend.
[She places one hand on Major Kira's arm; the Major doesn't like
this, but does not draw away.] I'm looking forward to showing you
around Terek Nor, Nerys.
Major Kira: And you'll tell us more about this Alliance that Bajor
is part of?
Garak [suddenly alert]: What's that?
Major Kira: The- ah- Intendant was just telling me about the Alliance.
Garak: Was she? Your pardon, Intendant, but was that wise?
Intendant Kira: I wanted to.
Bashir: What about this Alliance?
Garak [shifting tone]: We belong to a vast interstellar Alliance.
[He picks up two other glasses on the tray and hands one to each
Kira as they sit down.] I assume you don't have anything like it
in your universe?
Major Kira: No.
Bashir: There is the Federation- [Garak hands him a second glass;
the doctor begins to protest, but decides against it and accepts
the drink.]
Major Kira: But neither Bajor nor Cardassia are members. Are they
both part of your Alliance, here?
Garak: Oh, yes. Cardassia, Bajor, the Klingons, more than a dozen
worlds. Intendant, why don't you tell them more about it? _You_
were so eager for the Major to hear all the details.
Intendant Kira [irritated by his tone]: Not now. Right now, I want
to know more about our guests. [She smiles at Major Kira.] I'm eager
to learn all about you, your universe, your...interests. This Ter-
ran of yours, for example--he looks like a healthy and energetic
specimen. [spoken lightly; Bashir obviously isn't the object of
her attention. As she pats his thigh, she keeps her eyes meaning-
fully on the Major.]
Major Kira: Er- Thank you. [Bashir begins to look anxious--the
Intendant's hand is still resting on his leg--but Kira glares at
him, silently urging him to keep still.]
Intendant Kira: I'm very jealous, Nerys. We don't have many pretty
ones sent here anymore. You've seen what _I_ have to amuse myself
with--filthy Klingons, Ferengi... [She glances dismissively over
Garak.] My First Officer. When I was assigned to Terek Nor, every-
one warned me about him: 'Watch out for Garak!' they told me. 'He's
a man of ambition. He wants the Intendancy for himself.' But was I
afraid? No. I welcomed the challenge. I wanted a First Officer who
would [purring suggestively] keep me on my toes. That was exactly
how I'd made _my_ way to the top, and I thought it would be exciting
to meet my match at last. It sounded like so much fun. Well, it
was exciting, at first. Not a week went by that he wasn't trying
to bribe my guards to assassinate me, or rigging the engine on a
shuttlecraft to explode. Oh, he kept me on my toes, all right!
But, after a couple of years went by, and I was still alive, I began
to think that I was wrong about my Garak. Maybe he wasn't a match
for me after all. None of his plots or schemes ever seemed to work
out--did they, Garak?
Garak [pleasantly]: It wasn't for lack of trying, Intendant. [Major
Kira and Bashir look from one to the other with growing bafflement.
Is it a joke? Or are they serious?]
Intendant Kira: No, not for lack of trying. [She swirls her drink
contemplatively.] You haven't given up yet, have you, Garak? You
still think about taking my place and gaining control of this station.
[to her guests] Don't be fooled by that servile demeanor--he's a
dangerous man. He wants me dead, you know. He plots it. Oh, he's
ambitious. [Abruptly, she throws her drink in his face.] You've
poisoned the drinks again, haven't you? [Bashir and Major Kira sit
stunned, then slowly consider the glasses they both have drunk from.
Garak stands there, not even wiping the liquid dripping from his
ridges. Then he smiles.]
Garak: Did you really think I was trying to poison you, Intendant?
Intendant Kira [laughs contemptuously]: _You_? Kill me?
Garak: I might do it...one day.
Intendant Kira: I'll believe that when I see it. You dream of my
assassination, Garak, but you don't have the nerve to see it through.
You don't have what it takes to get rid of me! The truth is that you
wouldn't know what to do with the power if you had it. [An awkward
silence descends upon the room. Major Kira and Bashir obviously,
desperately want to get away, but can see no avenue of escape. After
a moment, Bashir picks up some silky garment from the floor and hands
it to Garak to blot his face dry.]
Major Kira [tentatively]: Perhaps we ought to-
Intendant Kira [smiling at her]: Yes, that's right--I was going to
take you on a tour of the Promenade. Why don't we go out now?
Garak [softly]: Yes, why not? If you don't trust me to replicate your
drinks for you, perhaps you'll find Quark a more reliable bartender.
Intendant Kira [pretending not to hear him]: Come on. [She heads out
the door, the others slowly following. The room lights dim as the
party exits.]
End Act I
~*~
Kathryn Ramage kramage at erols.com
|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|
Run mad as often as you chuse; but do not faint...
Jane Austen, "Love and Freindship" (Her spelling)
Wayne Schmidt
I maintain a very large link list to sites with DS9 fan fiction. I saw your
story post on the newsgroup and it made me wonder if you have your own site
with DS9 stories posted. If you do, may I post a link to it in my list?
If you want to see who else is on the list, it currently stands at 160
active sites, you can check it out at
http://home.earthlink.net/~wayneschmidt/index.htm
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Wayne Schmidt
"Kathryn Ramage" <kra...@erols.com> wrote in message
news:3CC088AD...@erols.com...
Mark Stanley
>
> Dear Kathryn,
>
> I maintain a very large link list to sites with DS9 fan fiction. I saw your
> story post on the newsgroup and it made me wonder if you have your own site
> with DS9 stories posted. If you do, may I post a link to it in my list?
>
To save you both some time, Wayne, Kathryn's page is slash, either
exclusively or almost exclusively so. Since you don't like to link to
slash, you won't want to link to her.
Mark
--
Fear me. Or at least fear my lizard.
--Olivia, future Evil Overlord, and her minion, Fluffy.
~~~
mrs...@sk.sympatico.ca