It's curtains for Mr. Monkeypants!
James Kibo Parry
->
-> Police: Men smuggled monkeys in pants; also leopard cubs,
-> orchids, birds of paradise
Never mind the birds. Which side was the potato on?
-> By Lisa Sweetingham
-> Court TV
->
-> LOS ANGELES -- When the rare birds of paradise escaped from his
-> suitcase and flew over the heads of U.S. Customs Agents at Los
-> Angeles International Airport, Robert Cusack decided it was best
-> to confess that, yes, he did have more to declare.
(LOUD CIRCUS CALLIOPE MUSIC DROWNS OUT ALL AMBIENT SOUND. THE MUSIC
IS SO LOUD THAT IT ACTUALLY BLOCKS SUNLIGHT FROM REACHING THE EARTH.
AN EIGHT-MILE-HIGH CAROUSEL MADE FROM A TRILLION RAZZLEBERRY GUMMI BEARS
TWIRLS DOWN THE STREET TOWARDS SCREAMING PEOPLE. AS IT CRUSHES THEM
THEY BRIEFLY SIGH IN ECSTASY AT HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO BE CRUSHED BY
THE GIANT CAROUSEL. THEN IT EXPLODES, BLASTING AT LEAST GUMMI BEAR
DIRECTLY INTO THE BRAINSTEM OF EVERY LIVING BEING IN THE UNIVERSE.
THE MUSIC STOPS.)
-> "I have monkeys in my pants," Cusack told the agents.
(SOMEWHERE, A BLOCK OF TOFU SITS ON A KITCHEN COUNTER FOR A MILLION YEARS.)
-> Cusack, 49, had just gotten off a plane from Thailand and was
-> immediately taken into custody.
->
-> Two endangered slow loris pygmy
(THE WACKY CIRCUS MUSIC RESUMES AS THE MOON DEVELOPS A SCARY CLOWN
FACE AND STARTS TO ROLL BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE EARTH, CRUSHING
EVERYBODY WHO IS NOT WEARING AN "I AM A MIME" T-SHIRT. BUT THEN
SUDDENLY ALL THE VOLCANOES IN THE WORLD ERUPT AT THE SAME TIME
AND SHOWERS OF PUPPIES COME OUT. EVERYONE GRABS A PUPPY AND HUGS
IT AND THEN AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DRIVES OFF A CLIFF AND EXPLODES.
THE MUSIC STOPS.)
-> monkeys were rescued from Cusack's underwear.
(THE BLOCK OF TOFU SLOWLY SLIDES OFF THE COUNTER INTO A WASTEBASKET.)
-> [...]
->
-> The lorises, Mrozek says, found a home at the Los Angeles County
-> Zoo. But the four birds of paradise all died.
->
-> "That is a not uncommon result of wildlife smuggling," Mrozek
-> said. "These animals die all the time because of the stress of
-> being stuffed into a box and smuggled in. The birds, I think it
-> was the stress of the very long travel and who knows what kind
-> of shape they were in."
->
-> While Cusack's monkey-in-pants method might seem bizarre, it's
(YOUR HEAD EXPLODED BEFORE THE ARTICLE ENDED. YOU HAVE DIED.
YOUR SCORE IS 0 OUT OF A POSSIBLE 100. PRESS ANY KEY TO REINCARNATE,
POSSIBLY AS A MONKEY IN SOMEONE'S UNDERPANTS.)
-- K.
There's something funny
about very old tofu.
I guess it would have to
be funny, because it's
no longer delicious.
David DeLaney
>(THE WACKY CIRCUS MUSIC RESUMES AS THE MOON DEVELOPS A SCARY CLOWN
>FACE AND STARTS TO ROLL BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE EARTH, CRUSHING
>EVERYBODY WHO IS NOT WEARING AN "I AM A MIME" T-SHIRT. BUT THEN
>SUDDENLY ALL THE VOLCANOES IN THE WORLD ERUPT AT THE SAME TIME
>AND SHOWERS OF PUPPIES COME OUT. EVERYONE GRABS A PUPPY AND HUGS
>IT AND THEN AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DRIVES OFF A CLIFF AND EXPLODES.
>THE MUSIC STOPS.)
Ah, you've been beta-testing "Roll On: The Return Of The King, Katamari
Damacy III" then?
>(YOUR HEAD EXPLODED BEFORE THE ARTICLE ENDED. YOU HAVE DIED.
>YOUR SCORE IS 0 OUT OF A POSSIBLE 100. PRESS ANY KEY TO REINCARNATE,
>POSSIBLY AS A MONKEY IN SOMEONE'S UNDERPANTS.)
I want to have your possessions identified!
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Joseph Michael Bay
> There's something funny
> about very old tofu.
> I guess it would have to
> be funny, because it's
> no longer delicious.
I don't know if you've already talked about this, but
have you had chou dofu (aka smelly tofu, stinky tofu,
fragrant tofu, and holy Buddha wtf is that)?
It's not bad stuff, aside from the stinkiness and the flavor.
--
Do you want your possessions identified? [ynq]
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > There's something funny about very old tofu.
> > I guess it would have to be funny, because it's no longer delicious.
>
> I don't know if you've already talked about this, but
> have you had chou dofu (aka smelly tofu, stinky tofu,
> fragrant tofu, and holy Buddha wtf is that)?
>
> It's not bad stuff, aside from the stinkiness and the flavor.
Interestingly, last night, after I posted that but before you replied,
I watched one of the Shaw Brothers' live-action adaptations of the
"Old Master Q" comic strip (aka "Older Master Cute", aka "Mr. Funnybone"
in the Shaw version) and the first scene featured Old Master Q dreaming
about stinky tofu because he was sleeping with Big Potato's feet in his
face, so in his sleep he got up and got a bottle of hot sauce and poured
it over Big Potato's feet and started eating them, and then when they
woke up their pillow wasn't gone.
Then a bunch of other stuff happened, some of it kind of funny,
unlike the sequel ("Mr. Funnybone Strikes Again"), which gave up
halfway through. And definitely unlike the dreadful "Master Q 2001",
which contained no entertainment of any sort.
But anyway, because I have lots of hot sauce here, keep your stinky tofu
away from me or I might fall asleep and take a bite out of your feet.
And I don't care how you feel about that, but I know I wouldn't enjoy it,
even if the hot sauce were really good.
-- K.
If we're going to re-enact wacky
scenes from hilarious Shaw Brothers
movies, I demand to be the Oily Maniac.
Joseph Michael Bay
>Joseph Michael Bay (jm...@elaine6.Stanford.EDU) wrote:
>>
>> I don't know if you've already talked about this, but
>> have you had chou dofu (aka smelly tofu, stinky tofu,
>> fragrant tofu, and holy Buddha wtf is that)?
>>
>> It's not bad stuff, aside from the stinkiness and the flavor.
>Interestingly, last night, after I posted that but before you replied,
>I watched one of the Shaw Brothers' live-action adaptations of the
>"Old Master Q" comic strip (aka "Older Master Cute", aka "Mr. Funnybone"
>in the Shaw version) and the first scene featured Old Master Q dreaming
>about stinky tofu because he was sleeping with Big Potato's feet in his
>face, so in his sleep he got up and got a bottle of hot sauce and poured
>it over Big Potato's feet and started eating them, and then when they
>woke up their pillow wasn't gone.
ARK is pretty much the only place where I would expect a mention
of nasty-smelling Chinese food to segue into some weird guy-on-guy
sleeping foot fetish thing in one post.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.--
Otto Bahn
> ARK is pretty much the only place where I would expect a mention
> of nasty-smelling Chinese food to segue into some weird guy-on-guy
> sleeping foot fetish thing in one post.
Subway! Eat FRRRESSSSHHH!
What can you really expect when you expect the unexpected?
Sooner or later nasty-smelling Chinese food is going to
seque into toe jam, but exactly when? That's the hard part;
timing is everything.
--oTTo--
Robot Leo Sgouros
> [www.courttv.com]
> ->
> -> Police: Men smuggled monkeys in pants; also leopard cubs,
> -> orchids, birds of paradise
>
> Never mind the birds. Which side was the potato on?
>
>
<snip>
https://vapolluan.livejournal.com/138028.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86_vnQc1oBE
Also too I was misteaken, I spoke to Brother Sixtus on *Tuesday*.
I left the e out of potato at least.
Leo Sgouros
https://blog.ultimateflags.com/2017/09/22/how-potatoes-saved-the-ship/
J.R.A.D.
> ->
> -> Police: Men smuggled monkeys in pants; also leopard cubs,
> -> orchids,
"red-violet", Elizabeth Bear,Ancestral Night
La, la la la la...
-X-
"red wine that punctures the skin"
"She is benediction
She is addicted to thee
She is the root connection
She is connecting with me "
Slight modification.
As.You.Were.