TURN DOWN THE RADIO, LOSERS! jollyroger.com THERE'S A LITERARY RENAISSANCE UNDERWAY!!
Nate Patrin
Hey, Limbecile... if you're lookin' for sympathy you'll find it in the
dictionary between "Shit" and "Syphilis". Pardon me now, as I break out
the Wiffle of Spam-killin':
*WHAP* That's for crossposting and spamming.
*WHAP* That's for dissing Beck.
*WHAP* That's for moronically quoting a great countercultural film
("Easy Rider") for your own conservative views.
*WHAP* That's for confusing "opinion" with what you so inanely call "the
Truth".
*WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* Those are for being a ditto-head.
*WHAP* That's for being a rich little conservative snot with your own
domain, server and (probably airbrushed) 'supermodel'.
*WHAP* That's for posting something that would fill ten pages worth,
none of which any of us were actively seeking.
And a big-assed Frank Thomas home-run *THWONK* for claiming to know
about liberalism when you use such a right-wing POV you can't look at
_anything_ objectively.
Listen, bee-yotch, if I wanted to hear an asshole talk, I'd fart. I'll
have to listen to Rage Against the Machine and the Dead Kennedys for
three hours straight just to feel better. Fuck you and the Benz you
drove in on.
--
===========================================================
Nate Patrin: "You call yourself the Moral Majority, we call
ourselves the people in the real world..." -The Dead Kennedys
"This calls for a very special blend of psychology
and extreme violence." -Vyv, "The Young Ones"
"So make a move and plead the 5th because you can't plead
the 1st!" Rage Against the Machine, "Down Rodeo"
Band name of the post: MDC (Millions of Dead Conservatives)
Drake Raft
Hey dudes-- like don't get left in the Roger's wake.
TOP TEN REASONS YOUNG NOWHERE-GOING LIBERALS (NIBERALS) HATE THE JOLLY ROGER
THE JOLLY ROGER
THE GRUNGESERVATIVE RENAISSANCE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway.jollyroger.html
10. The young conservative is out on the streets. The young liberal is in
with the corporate/educational/editorial elites. Thus the young
conservative owns the wind, the rain, the laughter and the pain. The
young liberal is $hackled to their desk, fastened by their corporate
admini$trative a$piration$ to their $ervile rolls as propagators of the
power structure which is destroying the family, desecrating the Western
Heritage, augmenting the National Debt, rasing our taxes, and eroding our
God-given Freedom. Know ye the young liberals fear us because we are
free. (I got that from Easy Rider.)
9. While in the sixties being a liberal meant standing for principles,
smoking weed, and doing it with whoever and aborting it later on, today
being a liberal means smoking weed, listening to Beck, and brown-nosing
your feminist instructor so that she'll write you a letter of
recommendation so that you can work at AOL or somewhere, as some sort of
movie-reviewing-marketing supervisor or something. Young liberals hate us
for pointing these things out.
8. The crew of the Jolly Roger is admired by intelligent, pretty, and
pristine women, as evidenced by our jolly roger super model, Cathy from
Germany. http://jollyroger.com/supermodel.html I met her when I was
printing out THE DRAKE RAFT FIELD TRIP, and I gave her a copy, and she got
a kick out of it. It's easy to see that she's a lot cooler than all the
over-zealous feminists and sexually liberated cybersluts who bore the crap
out of me with all their pornography and insipid and outdated
sex-culture-eco-feminism books. Like I don't even like kissing on the
first date-- I mean it can all wait. Tennis is a good first date, or like
watching planes land or going to the beach for a day. Anyways-- Great
Literature, endowed with wisdom and wit, attracts the cool conservative
girls while all the superficial neon schlock gets you the run-of-the-mill
socialists who've already been there and done that. And that's the
reality that Ron Hogan is starting to wake up to, each and every morning.
7. The crew of the Jolly Roger understands physics and likes Rush
Limbaugh. The combination of these two aspects really freak John Scalazi of
AOL.COM out. It's like Science and Literature are never supposed to
mingle in the liberal mind. One of 'em is for like white European males
to build cars and things, and the other one is to be used by administrators
and resentniks to level the playing field.
6. If you found yourself reading everything written by cool people that
you hate, and thinking about it, and enjoying it, and responding to it,
and furthering their Noble Cause by demonstarting the requisite
insipidness of the contemporary young liberal, you'd hate them too.
5. THE JOLLY ROGER is the most successful, most-read, most-admired,
largest, and fastest-sailing literary frigate on the WWW. And what
really freaks the young liberals out is that we're just warmin' up, and
kinda gettin' a feel for this wonderful new medium. I mean like at least
we have a dream. And we didn't get it from Columbia House.
http://jollyroger.com/response.html
4. Some of the more perceptive young liberals are figuring out that they
have been defeated by our Maverick Strategy of Speaking The Truth.
Because we are ardent fans of the Truth and God, we were the first to
recognize that one of the most profound aspects of the WWW would be the
literary revolution that would take place on it. I mean like it's about
time our generation does something cool. Like Douglas Coupland was
presented to us 'cause he signed a pact with the liberal editorial elite
in which it was written "On my honor I promise to say my generation has no
identity, to never criticize anything Liberal, to not notcie that the
family has broken up because of liberalism, nor shall I ever develop
memorable characters with morals like Huck Finn, Holden Caufield,
Yossarian, Howard Roark, Hamlet, Socrates, nor Drake. Because I
understand and accept that mythical representations of character,
morality, and integrity in literature tend to awaken these attributes in
the reader, I hereby promise to refrain from including them. I understand
that if I abide by these liberal nihilistic standards, and say nothing,
you will make me the voice of a generation." Because we are in tune to
the more subtle things in life than are the pornagraphic
Ron-Jesse-Garon-Hogans, we are able to serve the people in a sublime
manner, by exalting their spirits with the truth artistically rendered.
Know ye that we shall forever own the spirit of the WWW's literary
revolution, for it has been over a year, and there are no other sails on
the horizon. The Scalazis and Serdars and Garrons and feminists have
spent a year bitchin' and complainin', in the typical liberal fashion,
rather than launching a literary frigate of their own. Patrick Farley at
least made some cool graphics to go along with his See The Jolly Roger Go
Down In Flames Page, but like the rest of you are arm-chair critics who
were taught that literature is not to be Created, but it is to be
Administered. There's this question that I don't even bother asking.
It's just too easy and too boring to ask the Scalazis, and too obvious. It
is so obvious that asking it will probably lose me half of my audience.
Like if you know so much about literature, why don't you stop talking
about it and do it? Why don't you entertain and exalt people with words,
and start a literary frigate and get a few thousand subscribers to the PMS
Scalazi?
3. We're making the young liberals' $40,000 degrees in feminist
brown-nosing hand-waving reality-creating truth-doesn't
exist-slander -conservatives- say-anything-it's
all-politics-destroy destroy destroy-destroy-destroy- destroy-and
destroy- language-God -and the Truth so-that-the-mediorce-can-
administrate techniques worth about forty bucks.
2. 'Cause they know I saw the setting sun reflected in her Carolina Blue
eyes last Saturday, somewhere on teh border of Virginia.
1. The Truth is beautiful.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway.jollyroger.html
Todd M. Pinarchick
This is too funny! Megadittos to Nate, my fellow Shittohead basher!
In <32E2A9...@maroon.tc.umn.edu> Nate Patrin
<patr...@maroon.tc.umn.edu> writes:
>
>Hey, Limbecile... if you're lookin' for sympathy you'll find it in the
>dictionary between "Shit" and "Syphilis". Pardon me now, as I break
out
>the Wiffle of Spam-killin':
>
>*WHAP* That's for crossposting and spamming.
>*WHAP* That's for dissing Beck.
>*WHAP* That's for moronically quoting a great countercultural film
>("Easy Rider") for your own conservative views.
Yeah -- Fonda and Hopper should sue.
>*WHAP* That's for confusing "opinion" with what you so inanely call
"the
>Truth".
>*WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* Those are for being a ditto-head.
The proper terms are "Shittohead," "Dildohead," "Inbred Moron who Rapes
His Sister after Sodomizing Barnyard Animals," "Shithead Kicked Out of
the KKK for Being a Bigot," etc. But I quibble ...
>*WHAP* That's for being a rich little conservative snot with your own
>domain, server and (probably airbrushed) 'supermodel'.
Amen -- the Jolly Rancher is a waste of a precious server and
bandwidth.
>*WHAP* That's for posting something that would fill ten pages worth,
>none of which any of us were actively seeking.
>And a big-assed Frank Thomas home-run *THWONK* for claiming to know
>about liberalism when you use such a right-wing POV you can't look at
>_anything_ objectively.
He's a Shittohead -- whaddya expect? :)
>
>Listen, bee-yotch, if I wanted to hear an asshole talk, I'd fart. I'll
>have to listen to Rage Against the Machine and the Dead Kennedys for
>three hours straight just to feel better. Fuck you and the Benz you
>drove in on.
>--
>===========================================================
>Nate Patrin: "You call yourself the Moral Majority, we call
>ourselves the people in the real world..." -The Dead Kennedys
>"This calls for a very special blend of psychology
>and extreme violence." -Vyv, "The Young Ones"
>"So make a move and plead the 5th because you can't plead
>the 1st!" Rage Against the Machine, "Down Rodeo"
>Band name of the post: MDC (Millions of Dead Conservatives)
Lemme add THIS one to your (great) list: "Do you ever wake up at night
and say to yourself, 'I am just full of hot gas?'" (David Letterman to
Rush Limbaugh, when El Puerco Grande was a guest.)
cheers
Todd
... who now returns you to regularly scheduled alt.music.alternative
programming
Matt B Parisi
> THE JOLLY ROGER
> THE GRUNGESERVATIVE RENAISSANCE
> http://jollyroger.com/beaconway.jollyroger.html
>
>10. The young conservative is out on the streets. The young liberal
is in
>with the corporate/educational/editorial elites. Thus the young
>conservative owns the wind, the rain, the laughter and the pain. The
>young liberal is $hackled to their desk, fastened by their corporate
>admini$trative a$piration$ to their $ervile rolls as propagators of
the
>power structure which is destroying the family, desecrating the
Western
>Heritage, augmenting the National Debt, rasing our taxes, and eroding
our
>God-given Freedom. Know ye the young liberals fear us because we are
>free. (I got that from Easy Rider.)
Last I checked, the Reagan administration augmented our national debt,
and the Bush administration gave us the largest tax-increase in
history. Last I checked, the religious right wants to eliminate all of
our individual liberties, like what to say in a public forum, what to
read in our homes, and what recreational activities we choose to engage
in that don't harm the person or property of other human beings.
And also, no "freedoms" are God-given. Check the Bible, there is no
Bill of Rights, just a bunch of stuff that we *shouldn't* do. The only
rights and freedoms that bind us are those that our founding fathers
gave us (who, by the way, were non-christian deists) And they gave us
a Constitution to protect us from potential demons like the
ultra-right, who would take them away from us.
>9. While in the sixties being a liberal meant standing for
principles,
>smoking weed, and doing it with whoever and aborting it later on,
today
>being a liberal means smoking weed, listening to Beck, and
brown-nosing
>your feminist instructor so that she'll write you a letter of
>recommendation so that you can work at AOL or somewhere, as some sort
of
>movie-reviewing-marketing supervisor or something. Young liberals
hate us
>for pointing these things out.
Nice generalization. FYI, conservatives tend to "do it with whoever"
as well, but they're so shitty at it that they have to see prostitutes
(Jimmy Swaggert, Jerry Falwell) or get brought up on sexual harassment
charges, (Clarence Thomas, Robert Packwood) Being "liberal," in the
classical sense, means supporting legislation that empowers individual
rights, minimizes government interference with private
industry/individual privacy, and generally celebrates the worth of us
as human beings capable forging our own destinies to whatever heights
we desire, free from the tyranny of the majority and without the
behavioral engineering of government and ESPECIALLY (it's in the
Constitution, stupid) religion.
[pointless nonsense snipped]
>7. The crew of the Jolly Roger understands physics and likes Rush
>Limbaugh. The combination of these two aspects really freak John
Scalazi of
>AOL.COM out. It's like Science and Literature are never supposed to
>mingle in the liberal mind. One of 'em is for like white European
males
>to build cars and things, and the other one is to be used by
administrators
>and resentniks to level the playing field.
I think it is impossible to understand physics and like Rush Limbaugh,
as it was the big fat idiot himself who once claimed that global
warming, even if it actually happened, will NOT cause our oceans to
rise and cause indescribable property damage, because (get this) the
ice caps are to the ocean as ice cubes are to a glass of water. Thus,
as the level of water in a glass won't rise when the cubes melt, so the
oceans won't really rise if the polar ice caps melt.
What a fucking moron.
Your organization either does not really uderstand physics (which is
likely, since you don't even understand real conservative ideology) or
you don't really like Rush. But it ain't both, jackass.
>5. THE JOLLY ROGER is the most successful,
not true
most-read,
not true
most-admired,
By who -- other people who neither understand conservative ideology or
the Constitution?
>largest, and fastest-sailing literary frigate on the WWW. And what
>really freaks the young liberals out is that we're just warmin' up,
I wouldn't get your hopes up. There is a reason why the ultra-right
can't get elected anywhere except tiny regional pockets of the U.S. and
has no credibility on the national level, and why a moderate,
scandal-ridden nothing of president like Bill Clinton is currently at
59% popularity, and why neither political party represents more than
33% of the nation: the masses are basically moderate.
[verbal diarhhea snipped]
>3. We're making the young liberals' $40,000 degrees in feminist
>brown-nosing hand-waving reality-creating truth-doesn't
>exist-slander -conservatives- say-anything-it's
>all-politics-destroy destroy destroy-destroy-destroy- destroy-and
>destroy- language-God -and the Truth so-that-the-mediorce-can-
>administrate techniques worth about forty bucks.
And you're objective seems to be to turn the nation into a bunch of
illiterate fools with no appreciation of real art, literature or music.
I.e. a nation of Ned Flanders'. Good luck -- anyone with a real brain
got off your bus long ago, pal.
Matt P
(one of millions of educated Americans with too sophisticated of
political views to be pigeon-holed into "liberal" or "conservative").