I'm skipping school today...
Russ
Anywho, I'm bored. Yawn. And sleepy. Hmm, and hungry! That turkey dinner
coming up this Thursday is really looking good right now.
I still don't know where the heck I'm going this Thanksgiving. heheh. I come
from a HUGE family, and my dad's parents are having a big party and so are
my mom's. And to make it worse, my own parents are staying home this year,
and having their own party. And my mom's parents want me to come up there,
and my dad's parents want me to come over there, and my cat Patches wants me
to feed him right now but I'm too busy thinking about this and watching Nick
Jr. and typing on a newsgroup called "Alt.litterbox", so he'll probably get
pissed literally and pee on my bed and claw my chair and .. then ... then
... he'll see this newsgroup! "Alt.litterbox!" He'll become intrigued!
Interested! Why, he has a littlebox. He loves litterboxes! Here is a place
where cats can talk about their litterboxes, he'll think. But then, he reads
it ... it's nothing but pointlessness! Oh no! People talking about turkey's
wanting to kill us, and blue midgets throwing spoons, and -- and -- what is
SPAM and what isn't SPAM ... and ASCII BOOBS! NO! He becomes pissed
literally AGAIN! And PEE'S ON MY KEYBOARD! Oh my! and then, pee's at random,
until pee is everywhere!!! NOOOOOOOOOO! Mercy, Patches! MERCCYYY!!
[grabs Patches, who was sound asleep on his bed this whole time, and throws
him out a glass window]
BE GONE, JAVA DEVIL!!!
--
-Russ/Dash the Hedgehog (who has just made his most insane post ever)
-em...@sporkmonkey.com
"Some worms reproduce sexually. Herma-phro-di-tism, the condition in which a
single individual possesses both male and female reproductive parts. In
common are many different types of worms, and rock stars..."
-Dave Perry, trying to read from a telecompter at the end of Earthworm Jim:
Special Edition.
Russ
> BE GONE, JAVA DEVIL!!!
BTW, I know that doesn't make any sense, seeing how my cat has nothing to do
with coffee. I just thought it'd add more to the overall insanity of the
post.
And I've been calling people it a lot lately. heh. I'm weird.
--
-Russ/Dash the Hedgehog
Dane Martin
Good boy!
>Subject: I'm skipping school today...
Skipping school, eh? Tsk, tsk! We shall dip the boy in utter sauce, yes!
*looks at the disgusted crowd*
>Anywho, I'm bored. Yawn. And sleepy. Hmm, and hungry! That turkey dinner
>coming up this Thursday is really looking good right now.
... eh, yeah. Right.
>I still don't know where the heck I'm going this Thanksgiving. heheh.
Just hang out with the hobos this Thanksgiving, like I always do! Ester the
Hobo and I are having a big feast of McDonald's wrappers.
>I come
>from a HUGE family, and my dad's parents are having a big party and so are
>my mom's.
Ugh. Socialness.
>And to make it worse, my own parents are staying home this year,
>and having their own party.
Egh...
>And my mom's parents want me to come up there,
>and my dad's parents want me to come over there,
I'm telling you -- the hobos! THE HOBOS!
>and my cat Patches wants me
>to feed him right now but I'm too busy thinking about this and watching Nick
>Jr.
Blue's Clues is your friend! And Dora the Explorer is hot.
...
Okay, not really. But that's beside the point. Everyone knows that Steve is mad
sexy, and the "Mail Dance" makes me drool like a mad Oprah Winfrey monkey.
Male Dance.
{All strange sarcasm-like-comments! Please don't hurt me!}
>and typing on a newsgroup called "Alt.litterbox",
I sense jealousy.
>so he'll probably get
>pissed literally and pee on my bed and claw my chair and .. then ... then
>... he'll see this newsgroup! "Alt.litterbox!" He'll become intrigued!
But wouldn't the newsgroup cause him to do those things in the first place? I'm
confused.
>Interested!
Sentence... fragment... click... whirrrrrr...
>Why, he has a littlebox. He loves litterboxes!
So do I! That's why I picked this newsgroup
for my DESTRUCTION PATH.
>Here is a place
>where cats can talk about their litterboxes, he'll think.
Heh.
Now, excuse me... I'll be taking a trip to the litterbox.
>But then, he reads
>it ... it's nothing but pointlessness! Oh no!
Your cat can talk? Wow.
>People talking about turkey's
>wanting to kill us, and blue midgets throwing spoons, and -- and -- what is
>SPAM and what isn't SPAM ... and ASCII BOOBS! NO! He becomes pissed
>literally AGAIN! And PEE'S ON MY KEYBOARD! Oh my! and then, pee's at random,
>until pee is everywhere!!! NOOOOOOOOOO! Mercy, Patches! MERCCYYY!!
You're officially freaking me out now.
*pulls up a lawn chair and watches Russ orgasm -- I mean, spasm -- all over the
floor*
>[grabs Patches, who was sound asleep on his bed this whole time, and throws
>him out a glass window]
>
>BE GONE, JAVA DEVIL!!!
JAVA DEVIL!!! YEEEEEEEEEEES!
--
Dane Martin | Bandwidth Waster
http://yeahsoon.com | Coming Soon
Dane Martin
>
>I wrote:
>
>> BE GONE, JAVA DEVIL!!!
>
>BTW, I know that doesn't make any sense, seeing how my cat has nothing to do
>with coffee. I just thought it'd add more to the overall insanity of the
>post.
Fair enough. I like it.
>And I've been calling people it a lot lately. heh. I'm weird.
Heheheheh. Better than "BUFFALO!", because that just sounds wrong.