What's in a feeling?
KatmanDu
A little while ago, it was posited that someone's experience, which
they had ascribed to a mental shift, was merely an anxiety attack.
Which made me think... what is a mental shift, exactly? Is it
something that can be readily explained away as something else, and
we're ascribing something mystical and different to it for whatever
reason? Or is it truly something different? I guess this begs the
question of what constitutes a mental shift.
The answer to that is apt to be highly subjective. What's a mental
shift for me may be something different in another person. I do think
that there are mental shifts, and that they aren't just anxiety, or
psychosomatic, or bad gas.
With me, a mental shift brings on heightened awareness... I don't mean
super-human senses; if I could do that, I'd hire myself out as a
bloodhound. :) I mean what most self-defense instructors call
"condition red": the heightened sense of awareness you find when
you're under stress or being threatened. Example, if you're just
tooling down the street, not really paying much attention to anything,
your thoughts a million miles away, that's "condition white"...
otherwise known as having your head up your ass. *grin* On the other
hand, if you wake up in the middle of the night because you hear a
stranger in your living room, and you're waiting by the doorway with a
baseball bat, straining to hear them walk down the hall, that's
condition red. You're aware of everything around you, and you hear,
see, smell, and sense better... not because you somehow grew a better
nose, but because your life depends on it and you're paying better
attention. You are also usually more mentally focused on your
surroundings. I also find it easy to visualize myself as an animal. To
try and think like an animal. I generally feel much more alive in
these moments... Living, rather than surviving.
Maybe that can be explained away in other terms. But for me, and
that's what counts, innit? For me, it is a separate experience; a
tangible thing I can point to and call a mental shift.
What think you all? What is a mental shift to you? Is it something
separate? Or do I just have gas?
--
katm...@uga.cc.uga.edu * katm...@negia.net * ewi...@access.cosmic.uga.edu
Theriomorph at large * http://www.negia.net/~katmandu * Certified annoying git
"Just say a word and the boys will be right there, with claws at your
back to send a chill through the night air. Is it so frightening to have
me at your shoulder? Thunder and lightning couldn't be bolder. I'll
write on your tombstone 'I thank you for dinner'. This game that we
animals play is a winner." -Ian Anderson / Jethro Tull
Jeffrey Tharp
KatmanDu (katm...@negia.net) wrote:
: A little while ago, it was posited that someone's experience, which
: they had ascribed to a mental shift, was merely an anxiety attack.
: Which made me think... what is a mental shift, exactly? Is it
: something that can be readily explained away as something else, and
: we're ascribing something mystical and different to it for whatever
: reason? Or is it truly something different? I guess this begs the
: question of what constitutes a mental shift.
: The answer to that is apt to be highly subjective. What's a mental
: shift for me may be something different in another person. I do think
: that there are mental shifts, and that they aren't just anxiety, or
: psychosomatic, or bad gas.
[Kat's description of his mental shifts devoured like the meat it was ;-9]
: What think you all? What is a mental shift to you? Is it something
: separate? Or do I just have gas?
What constitutes a mental shift for me? Well, until recently I didn't
think I had them...but about 3-4 months ago I discovered (w/ the help of
others--thanks y'all) I did and what they were to me. A mental shift for
me is basically a surge in Wolf energy inside my body...I feel it in my
hands/paws, feel it in my chest, feel it down my spine all the way to my
tailbone/tail. There is a heightened awareness, as well--I suddenly
become more aware of nature around me...the birds, the trees, etc. But
the surge of energy within me is the main thing, for me at least.
Occasionally, I'll even have the urge to howl out, and if I do, it's not
just a howl, but it's a _howl_--a howl that fills my chest with Wolf,
that rises up my throat, and fills the air with my voice--and I don't
usually just howl once, but three, four, or even five
times...unfortunately, the only I recieve is the plaintive howling of the
neighborhood dogs--a rather pitiful exchange, imho. :-/
Anyhowl, that's a mental shift for me--anybody else?
Howls (do you hear them?)
Harry Darkwolf
--
:::____:::::::::::. Harry Darkwolf--Taoist, animal-lover, proud member of
::- -::::::::::: AHWW, #edge-junkie, and self-proclaimed
:| |::::::::::: spiritual lycanthrope!
::_ _:::::::::::::.
:::----:::::::.P\:::::::. "The heart of man is like a dark forest."
::::::::::::::\ \___:::::: -from _Foe_ by J.M.Coetzee
::::::::::::::|\ -.)M___::
:::::::::::::::\ \###P:::. Emails: JTh...@DePauw.edu
::::::::::::::::\ /##(:::::: Dark...@Rahul.net
:::::::::::::::::( ###L::::::
:::::::::::::::::| ####L:::::: Ascii sig art by Raphiel Listening Wolf
* Check out my were-page at--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jtharp/ahww.htm
ShadowFox
katm...@negia.net (KatmanDu) wrote:
>
> What think you all? What is a mental shift to you? Is it something
> separate? Or do I just have gas?
>
With all that radioactive chili you make, it's prolly just gas ;)
Seriously though, with me I usually try to keep myself alert, though
I will admit that sometimes I have my 'head up my ass' <g> When I
actually mentally shift though, I can feel the differance spread
throughout me. For example I might start out gently testing the air,
but then I will mentally shift and I can practically feel whiskers
quivering as I look for scents in the wind. It will even extend to
making my face twitch slightly as if I actually had whiskers. I've
actually felt my phantom tail and fur before while shifted, though it
really sucks to look behind you and find that you really don't have
a long floofy tail :(
::wet nose in your ear::
ShadowFox
(ascii gone cause I'm too lazy to put it here today<g>)
KatmanDu
ShadowFox <l-st...@tamu.edu> wrote:
>With all that radioactive chili you make, it's prolly just gas ;)
Phew, 'scuse me... *kat duck-walks to the other side of the fire* :)
>I will admit that sometimes I have my 'head up my ass' <g> When I
I have my own head up my ass (craniorectal inversion) so much I've a
special auger to clear my nostrils with. *g*
>actually felt my phantom tail and fur before while shifted, though it
>really sucks to look behind you and find that you really don't have
>a long floofy tail :(
Yah... in my most intense shifts, I've felt physically different.. as
if I had fur and clawed hands and a snout, etc... and have that
feeling ruined as soon as I open my eyes.
James Lionel Furdell
KatmanDu (katm...@negia.net) wrote:
: A little while ago, it was posited that someone's experience, which
: they had ascribed to a mental shift, was merely an anxiety attack.
: Which made me think... what is a mental shift, exactly?
This could be helpful to me...
: With me, a mental shift brings on heightened awareness... I don't mean
: super-human senses; if I could do that, I'd hire myself out as a
: bloodhound. :) I mean what most self-defense instructors call
: "condition red": the heightened sense of awareness you find when
: you're under stress or being threatened.
I've never taken a self-defense class or felt seriously threatened (not
physically, anyway). So, I don't know about condition red. I do try to
pay attention to my senses more now than I used to as a general rule. I
concentrate on being more alert of my surroundings, other people, and
even their emotions and reactions. I try to judge actions ahead of time
a little, something I didn't bother to do before.
: surroundings. I also find it easy to visualize myself as an animal. To
: try and think like an animal. I generally feel much more alive in
: these moments... Living, rather than surviving.
I visualize myself as a werewolf pretty often. (Or at least, I used to...
I haven't felt it much recently.) I remember just walking around campus in
1994, and suddenly picturing myself as a hulking, furry beast on two legs;
that gave me an emotional/adrenal/psychological boost of some kind, and it
was pretty strong. Now, I'm not so sure how much of my feelings I can
trust, but it will be hard to forget that day.
: Maybe that can be explained away in other terms. But for me, and
: that's what counts, innit? For me, it is a separate experience; a
: tangible thing I can point to and call a mental shift.
Well, the word "shift" makes me think there would be a very noticeable
difference in perception, thinking, etc. So, if what I was talking about
above is a shift... that would seem possible to me, although it doesn't
strike me as being as strong as two sensations I felt this year.
At the Howl in Kentucky, I was standing by the fire while everyone was
talking... actually, I hopped up onto a log... and something changed. I
was aware of what I was doing, but it was as if *I* wasn't doing it. I
started to wander off towards the forest, slowly, looking straight ahead;
there was a buzzing in my mind. The feelings subsided about 15 seconds
later, and I walked back to the fire; no-one there noticed any kind of
change in me, and I wasn't sure what I had felt.
I thought I felt the same thing about a month ago during exams, only
stronger. The buzzing was more intense, and I had to put my hands on my
bed for support (as if they were paws, I noticed). My emotional state
was more eruptive, but that could have just been related to the stress of
exams bubbling over.
: What think you all? What is a mental shift to you?
I've been told to trust my own feelings when it comes to that, and that
it (and most everything about therianthropy) is whatever I make it to
be. Like I said, though, it's difficult to trust my feelings on this
stuff, especially when I doubt myself in these matters as much as I do.
\ \ //\ || Manitu
\ \_// | // http://userwww.service.emory.edu/~jfurdel
\__/ / // jfu...@emory.edu
/ // "There is a difference
< <<____ between wolves and sheep."
_______________\___>>>\_____________________________________________
Christopher Brock
In article <4p0al2$e...@samba.rahul.net>, Jeffrey Tharp
<dark...@rahul.net> wrote:
>KatmanDu (katm...@negia.net) wrote:
>[Kat's description of his mental shifts devoured like the meat it was ;-9]
>
>: What think you all? What is a mental shift to you? Is it something
>: separate? Or do I just have gas?
>
>What constitutes a mental shift for me? Well, until recently I didn't
>think I had them...but about 3-4 months ago I discovered (w/ the help of
>others--thanks y'all) I did and what they were to me. A mental shift for
>me is basically a surge in Wolf energy inside my body...I feel it in my
>hands/paws, feel it in my chest, feel it down my spine all the way to my
>tailbone/tail. There is a heightened awareness, as well--I suddenly
>become more aware of nature around me...the birds, the trees, etc. But
>the surge of energy within me is the main thing, for me at least.
>Occasionally, I'll even have the urge to howl out, and if I do, it's not
>just a howl, but it's a _howl_--a howl that fills my chest with Wolf,
>that rises up my throat, and fills the air with my voice--and I don't
>usually just howl once, but three, four, or even five
>times...unfortunately, the only I recieve is the plaintive howling of the
>neighborhood dogs--a rather pitiful exchange, imho. :-/
>
>Anyhowl, that's a mental shift for me--anybody else?
Me, too. Kat's description sounds right on the mark as far as I'm concerned.
For the record, I am able to stimulate this shift or sensation at will...
it feels almost like an orgasmic wave which starts at the base of my
spine, sheathes up and over my head and down my arms, and then from the
waist down to my feet. It's warm and somewhat liquid, and I visualize it
as a cloak of shadow which completely covers me, making me wraith-like and
generally indistinct. This is also the mental pattern I have always evoked
when working magick, and it just seems to correlate with all the mystical
experiences of my day-to-day existance (i.e. when I sense something is
`mystickal' or magickal, I am in a haunted or psychically impressed
location, etc.)
It's also how I feel it will be when someday, the inky shadows really DO
envelope my human body and remake it into the same wispy substance they
are. <longing sigh> Then I can hunt. Then I can fly. Then I can kill...
- Spyder, witiko-at-large
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Friends help you move; REAL friends help you move bodies."
... "We have had the veils lifted from our eyes, and that is not bad.
We -know- for certain that things are not as they seem. We -know-
that this world is full of dangerous and mysterious powers. That
gives us an advantage..." Whitley Strieber - 'The Wild'
/-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-\
|"I smell the pain upon the breath | This bad boy's comin' to you |
| of the lost & the lonely... | LIVE and livid from... |
|"I hear the thoughts that whisper | email: spy...@xmission.com |
| in the hearts of all men." | Realtime: Spyder @ FurryMUCK |
| 'Helpline Operator' - The The | & all points due sou'west... |
\-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= URL: http://www.xmission.com/~spyder/ =-=-=-=-=-=-/
KatmanDu
jfu...@larry.cc.emory.edu (James Lionel Furdell) wrote:
>I visualize myself as a werewolf pretty often. (Or at least, I used to...
>I haven't felt it much recently.) I remember just walking around campus in
>1994, and suddenly picturing myself as a hulking, furry beast on two legs;
>that gave me an emotional/adrenal/psychological boost of some kind, and it
>was pretty strong.
That sounds pretty familiar...
Keith Pepin/DECwolf
In article <4p5h6i$i...@okra.negia.net>, katm...@negia.net (KatmanDu) wrote:
-> >I remember just walking around campus in
-> >1994, and suddenly picturing myself as a hulking, furry beast on two legs;
-> >that gave me an emotional/adrenal/psychological boost of some kind, and it
-> >was pretty strong.
->
-> That sounds pretty familiar...
I used to walk around the Grove school campus [I'm so glad to be out of
there!], and I just used to get tired of the shit... I would walk right
into class smoking a cigarette, which was VERY much against the rules.
Someone would say something, and the only thing I could get out of my
mouth was a growl. I couldn't even say, 'fuck you'- the words wouldn't
come out. But I could growl at them... heh heh heh. I would sit in class
and howl, stuff like that. It felt great. Everyone on campus knew I was a
werewolf, and most didn't care. Even the campus director didn't seem to
mind. Until I started pissing on the floor in the bathroom 5 or 6 times a
day. The floor wasn't level and we had a 4-inch puddle in the corner soon.
The rest of the dorm started doing it, and you could smell it outside on
hot days...
----****####****----
Keith Pepin/DECwolf
Obsessed with DEC/lover of lupines: Have you hugged your ALPHA today?
----****####****----
8^L - Werewolf with glasses and snout, smoking cigarette: THAT'S ME!!
Grigsbeast
Kat touched on a central point of mental shifts: whatever the
body image, awareness of one's surrounding is the touchstone for
me. This can be very good (if I'm somewhere outdoors or
beautiful) or very bad (at work, in a mall, etc.)
It's like all the mental chatter in my head just goes away and
I can live in the present. This alone isn't a mental shift, though.
Central to the feeling is the awareness of my body as animal --
as flesh, sinew, and bone that can run, jump, hunt, and fuck, not
just a meat-wagon to carry my brain around in. I don't feel any
tropism toward any particular animal, at least that I can identify,
and overall I like the way my body works (though I could use some
better claws and teeth, and I suspect that digitigrade legs are
more efficient for movement -- our feet are devolved hands from
when we were monkeys swinging about in trees).
Of course, the absence of mental chatter means no pesky superego
to tell me not to jump around like an idiot, roar at the sun, or
nearly die of grief under the weight of the shrink-wrapped time of
modern life.
Mentally shifting made me realize that almost all of our time in
modern 'civilization' is spent ignoring outside reality in favor
of daydreams, fantasies, thinking about work, friends, or anything
but the noisy, ugly, crowded, dirty, utterly evil reality we have
managed to create for ourselves. "We ought not to think and act
as if we were asleep" (Breton?) but awakening confronts us with
a reality worse than nightmare, one in which we have to skulk
around in misleadingly-named newsgroups instead of enjoying our
animal heritage (which I believe lies within absolutely everyone,
though most will deny it unto death).
"And yet the sun still shines fervently" -Erik T Ray
// grigsbeast