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Mars, The Cardboard Planet

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James Kibo Parry

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Jul 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/8/97
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The National Space Society, a secret branch of NASA, has a QuickTime VR
panorama of the Martian Surface. (Matt McIrvin is about to complain that
they didn't use Apple's QTVR authoring tools, because the Stitcher would
have fixed those differences in brightness between adjacent photos in the
sky mosaic.) Anyway, I fired QuickTime VR up and drove the stupid little
rover around the fully immersive environment, being careful to crash
Pathfinder into Carl Sagan numerous times, and then I drove the little
rover behind a big rock and found --

-- a black limbo set with a white grid painted on the walls.

It's a holodeck! MARS IS JUST AN ILLUSION!!!

It's all perfectly clear! NASA didn't have the technology to fake a Mars
mission (because Peter Hyams used it all up making a bad movie with O. J.
Simpson) so they had to use the Enterprise's holodeck. So NASA built the
Enterprise, but on its maiden flight it crashed into a swimming pool at the
Huntsville base, and this is why it's underwater and all the astronauts
have to wear wetsuits over their spacesuits over their Tyvek clean-room
suits.

TELL NASA TO STOP LYING ABOUT STAR TREK BEING REAL AND MARS BEING FAKE!

Also the reason the rover's so small is that if we sent up a big rover with
big knobby Bigfoot-style tires with lots of friction and traction and
torque and drove it around the planet to the west for several days
straight, it would make the planet turn the other way, making time go
backwards and then Christopher Reeve would get out of his chair and shout,
"MEIN FUERHER, I CAN VALK!!!" and then the Earth would blow up.

-- K.
The QuickTime VR panorama is at
http://www.nss.org/mars/qtvr.html
if you want proof that this is
all true. Next week I'll talk about
the dangers of symmetrical clothing.

L.M.A. Winters

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Jul 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/8/97
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James Kibo Parry wrote:
>
> ...Anyway, I fired QuickTime VR up and drove the stupid little

> rover around the fully immersive environment, being careful to crash
> Pathfinder into Carl Sagan numerous times, and then I drove the little
> rover behind a big rock and found --
>
> -- a black limbo set with a white grid painted on the walls.
>
> It's a holodeck! MARS IS JUST AN ILLUSION!!!

Classic, Kibo, classic! I'm taking it to work to show around.
--
/\__/\
\- -/ Corgi
\__/ @worldnet.nospam.att.net

James Kibo Parry

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Jul 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/9/97
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"L.M.A. Winters" <Co...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
> James Kibo Parry wrote:
> >
> > ...Anyway, I fired QuickTime VR up and drove the stupid little
> > rover around the fully immersive environment, being careful to crash
> > Pathfinder into Carl Sagan numerous times, and then I drove the little
> > rover behind a big rock and found --
> >
> > -- a black limbo set with a white grid painted on the walls.
> >
> > It's a holodeck! MARS IS JUST AN ILLUSION!!!
>
> Classic, Kibo, classic! I'm taking it to work to show around.

Wow. You're going to have a rough day.

I predict that you will get one person who points out that Apple's VR
authoring tools must have been used because the name of Apple's QTVR
project leader is at the bottom, one guy who points out that Star Trek is
just a TV show, one guy who points out that you can now download a color
version of the mosaic, one guy who says I'm a bozo if I think Quicktime VR
is immersive, one guy who points out that I got the name of the rover
wrong, one guy who says the shuttle Enterprise is in the swimming pool on
purpose, and one and a half guys who read over the whole thing and then say
the only thing wrong with it is that the NSS isn't part of NASA.

Let us know what the tally is, assuming you're allowed to post from work.
Note: if they fire you, you can post all you want for the rest of the day.

"T...@astro.net" wrote:


>
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
> >
> >The National Space Society, a secret branch of NASA,
>

> Ummm, The NSS is not a "secret" branch of Nasa. Try again please....

Also, a lot of people will just shy away from you for the rest of the day,
and/or devote the afternoon for checking your performance evaluation for
omissions.

Unless you work some place with a sense of humor, like the NSA, which is
also part of NASA.

-- K.
P.S. Gharlane is really Gil Amelio.

AngelK38

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Jul 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/9/97
to

>I predict that you will get one person who points out that Apple's VR
>authoring tools must have been used because the name of Apple's QTVR
>project leader is at the bottom, one guy who points out that Star Trek is
>just a TV show, one guy who points out that you can now download a color
>version of the mosaic, one guy who says I'm a bozo if I think Quicktime
VR
>is immersive, one guy who points out that I got the name of the rover
>wrong, one guy who says the shuttle Enterprise is in the swimming pool on
>purpose, and one and a half guys who read over the whole thing and then
say
>the only thing wrong with it is that the NSS isn't part of NASA.

But Kibo,

Who's going to remember the movie Capricorn One with OJ and Donald
Sutherland?


*****
Rev. Karla, ULC, Reiki Master
Mom to James (7) and Micah (5)
Ange...@aol.com

"The best navigator is the one who doesn't know where he's going until he gets there and even then he's still not sure." Frank Bama

Fins UP!

L.M.A. Winters

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Jul 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/9/97
to

Kibo, concerned about my work environment, replied:

>
>>> It's a holodeck! MARS IS JUST AN ILLUSION!!!
>> Classic, Kibo, classic! I'm taking it to work to show around.
> Wow. You're going to have a rough day.

Nope.

> I predict that you will get one person who points out <snip list>


>
> Let us know what the tally is, assuming you're allowed to post from work.

I can't even e-mail thru the firewall, but so far the results are:
1 - no comment
1 - "This is weird"
1 - no comment because it turns out she wasn't there
1 - no comment because she took it and left

> Note: if they fire you, you can post all you want for the rest of the day.

My mother would nag.

> Also, a lot of people will just shy away from you for the rest of the day,
> and/or devote the afternoon for checking your performance evaluation for
> omissions.
>
> Unless you work some place with a sense of humor, like the NSA, which is
> also part of NASA.

This is the place where the guy in the cube next to mine has 11" (aprox)
models of the Silver Surfer, the Scarecrow, the Predator, a
warrior-phase Alien and the Martian Commander from "Mars Attacks!" on
his desk, next to the Magic 8-Ball. And Godzilla (standing on top of
the monitor) is holding the mini-batel'eh (sp?) I got him at
Dragon*Con. One of the senior-est techs has an X-Files screen saver and
a shrine to Deanna Troi. Jackie used to have Sea Monkeys at her desk
until Carla spilled them.

I ain't worried about a little Kibology <eg>. But I still have a
firewall.

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