FIT The Third - The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Froup Production
Gusty
FIT THE THIRD
After being improbably rescued from certain death in the
vacuum of space, Arthur Dent and his new companions
now face a missile attack and .. certain death.
GRAMS NARRATOR BACKGROUND
NARRATOR: Far back in the mists of time, in the great and glorious
days of the Former Galaxtic Empire, life was wild, rich, and on the
whole tax free.
Mighty starships plied their way between exotic sun seeking adventure
and reward amongst the furthest reaches of galaxtic space.
In those day spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were *real*
men, women were *real* women, and small furry creatures from Alpha
Centauri were *real* small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly
split infinitives that no man had split before and thus was the Empire
forged.
Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly
natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor -
at least, noone worth speaking of.
And for these extrememly rich merchants lif eventually became rather
dull, and it seemed that none of the worlds they settled on was
entirely satisfactory, either the climate wasn't quite right in the
later part of the afternoon or the day was half an hour too long, or
the sea was just the wrong shade of pink..
And thus were created the conditions for a staggering new form of
industry: custom made planet building.
The home of this industry was the planet Magrathea where vast
hyperspatial engineering works were constructed to such matter through
white hole in space and form it into dream planets, lovingly made to
meet the exacting standards of the Galaxy's richest men.
And so successful was this venture, that very soon Magrathea itself
became the richest planet of all time and the rest of the galaxy was
reduced to abject poverty.
And so thesystem broke down, the Empire collapsed and a long sullen
silence settled over the Galaxy, broken only by the pen scratchings on
scholars as they laboured into the night over smuf little reatises on
the value of a planned political economy.
Magrathea itself disappeared and its memory soon passed into the
obscurity of legend.
In these enlightened days, of course, no one believe a word of it.
Meanwhile, on Zaphod Beeblebrox's ship, deep in the darkness of the
Horsehead Nebula . . .
---------
That's probably my favourite narrator speech in the series. The first
time I heard the "small furry creatures and the "boldly split
infinitives" I was reduced to such laughter I missed the opening lines
from the cast.
--
D.
'For isn't life but the very symbol of the wrong
froup?'- Sid
Ford Prefect
I'm standing on the bridge of the Heart of gold. Me and the others
surround Zaphod who has just made an announcement, but apparently I'm
the only one properly realising the utter absurdity of what Zaphod
just said. After all, in these enlightened days, how can he expect me
to believe that?
FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
--
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen fie...@daimi.au.dk
2b|~2b == -1
Zaphod Beeblebrox
wrote:
>I'm standing on the bridge of the Heart of gold. Me and the others
>surround Zaphod who has just made an announcement, but apparently I'm
>the only one properly realising the utter absurdity of what Zaphod
>just said. After all, in these enlightened days, how can he expect me
>to believe that?
>
>FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
I'm standing on the bridge of this ship I've just stolen for no
apparent reason with my semi-cousin Ford, a monkey, and this girl I
picked up from a planet that doesn't exist anymore, and Ford is
doubting my infinite-coolness and navigational skills.
ZAPHOD: Listen to me Ford, I've found it, I swear I've found it.
My other head is listening to a song by Hotblack Desiato on his
head-implanted stereo system.
--
Ryan Packer
ICQ=161906389
missing footnotes can be found at http://www.nut.house.cx/nemwiki/ISFN
"Who needs salaries, if you have internet connections? Oh, it's this "food"-thing
I hear so much about, isn't it?"-Kaare(afdaniain)
John Coxon
"Zaphod Beeblebrox" <ano...@froup.com> wrote in message
news:u00jhvg3eaid3bf2u...@4ax.com...
> On Fri, 18 Jul 2003 21:04:23 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
> wrote:
>
> >I'm standing on the bridge of the Heart of gold. Me and the others
> >surround Zaphod who has just made an announcement, but apparently I'm
> >the only one properly realising the utter absurdity of what Zaphod
> >just said. After all, in these enlightened days, how can he expect me
> >to believe that?
> >
> >FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
>
> I'm standing on the bridge of this ship I've just stolen for no
> apparent reason with my semi-cousin Ford, a monkey, and this girl I
> picked up from a planet that doesn't exist anymore, and Ford is
> doubting my infinite-coolness and navigational skills.
>
> ZAPHOD: Listen to me Ford, I've found it, I swear I've found it.
>
> My other head is listening to a song by Hotblack Desiato on his
> head-implanted stereo system.
Just a digression... Maybe it would be wise to <snip> the descriptive parts
when replying? It's just otherwise people will get really confused. Maybe.
Well, more confused at any rate...[9]
[9]I've already used that joke once today... D'oh!
--
John Coxon
"God doesn't play dice." - Albert Einstein.
My site: http://alphacentauri.8k.com/ (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
Missing footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
Join the HHGG RPG: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/froodfest
Ford Prefect
> On Fri, 18 Jul 2003 21:04:23 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
> wrote:
>>FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
>
> ZAPHOD: Listen to me Ford, I've found it, I swear I've found it.
Zaphod's crazier than I thought. How can he really believe this?
There's no point in trying to reason with him, I know him. Won't
help. Then again, nothing else will help either, so I guess I might as
well go ahead and argue. It'll pass the time, if nothing else.
FORD: Look - Magrathea is a myth, a fairy story, it's what parents
tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to
become economists, it's ...
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
I'm afraid there will be a delay here, I need to leave my computer for
about 5 days, maybe a week. I hope this thread is to be kept
temporarily in suspended animation, for our comfort and
convenience. Tea and birthdaycake with MEow jumping out of it is being
served every year, after which the thread is returned to suspended
animation for our continued comfort and convenience. Continuation
will take place when I return from my vacation. We apologize for the
delay.
(I hear you crying: "Delay? Have you seen the world outside this
froup? It's boring, mundane. Humour's been and gone, man. There is
no DNA-related fun on the way from anywhere!")
The statistical likelihood is that I will return to the froup. There
will one day be DNA-realted fun. Till then there will be a
short delay. Please return to the rest of this froup."
Best
Kåre
Kevin Spin
"Kaare Fiedler Christiansen" <fie...@daimi.au.dk> wrote in message
news:xkpptk3...@horse04.daimi.au.dk...
> Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk> writes:
>
> I'm afraid there will be a delay here, I need to leave my computer for
> about 5 days, maybe a week. I hope this thread is to be kept
> temporarily in suspended animation, for our comfort and
> convenience. Tea and birthdaycake with MEow jumping out of it is being
> served every year, after which the thread is returned to suspended
> animation for our continued comfort and convenience. Continuation
> will take place when I return from my vacation. We apologize for the
> delay.
>
> (I hear you crying: "Delay? Have you seen the world outside this
> froup? It's boring, mundane. Humour's been and gone, man. There is
> no DNA-related fun on the way from anywhere!")
>
> The statistical likelihood is that I will return to the froup. There
> will one day be DNA-realted fun. Till then there will be a
> short delay. Please return to the rest of this froup."
>
Just out of interest, I've been doing an impromptu survey on LSPNs during my
recent travels. At the moment KLM seems to be best with BA a close second
but today's "våtserviett" from Braathens raised the "Soaked" part to new
levels - it was so wet I had to get my towel [12] out to dry off
afterwards.Very lemony as well wheresas most seem to be sort of genericly
"scented" these days
[12] Like any good Hitchhiker, I always carry a towel in my hand luggage -
mainly because, on long journeys, I like to have a wash just before the
plane starts to land and I hate drying with paper towels but also because it
protects my laptop/PDA/Ipod/etc that are crammed into the bag. I have also,
on flights when they don't give you one of those funny little pillows,
rolled it up as a neck support.
Gusty
Kevin Spin spewed up:
Sorry, that was actually me.
Damn babysitter's been using the computer again
Anorak
Well, I haven't even gotten around to saying my line yet, so don't
worry...
--
Ryan Packer
ICQ=161906389
missing footnotes can be found at http://www.nut.house.cx/nemwiki/ISFN
"Now I know a good reason for polygamy: to improve my salsa." -stephen(afdaniain)
Manuel Dornbusch
[...]
> Just out of interest, I've been doing an impromptu survey on LSPNs during my
> recent travels. At the moment KLM seems to be best with BA a close second
> but today's "våtserviett" from Braathens raised the "Soaked" part to new
> levels - it was so wet I had to get my towel [12] out to dry off
> afterwards.Very lemony as well wheresas most seem to be sort of genericly
> "scented" these days
Seems it might have been real lemonjuice in that napkin then
> [12] Like any good Hitchhiker, I always carry a towel in my hand luggage -
Outstanding :-)
> mainly because, on long journeys, I like to have a wash just before the
> plane starts to land and I hate drying with paper towels but also because it
> protects my laptop/PDA/Ipod/etc that are crammed into the bag. I have also,
> on flights when they don't give you one of those funny little pillows,
> rolled it up as a neck support.
And dont forget, how usefull it might be, in case the ravenous Bugblatterbeast
of Traal is on the seat next to you on the plane.
Manuel
--
Manuel Dornbusch
Centrum fuer Informations-
und Sprachverarbeitung
LMU
MEow
said:
>"Now I know a good reason for polygamy: to improve my salsa." -stephen(afdaniain)
The dance or the food-stuff?
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"you can get up some people's noses all the time, and everyone's nose some
of the time, but you shouldn't get up everyone's nose all the time"
Austin Shackles (sheddie)
John Coxon
"Manuel Dornbusch" <manuel.d...@stud.uni-muenchen.de> wrote in message
news:bfipp5$sr4$3...@wsc10.lrz-muenchen.de...
My mum always carries a towel round and she's never read HHGG (despite all
my efforts to make her) so this just shows that towels really are mind
bogglingly useful. Also, Birtish hand-dryers are always broken (It's funny,
but US ones don't seem to be as much as UK ones are. Really weird, but you
can tell when you're back in the UK because it's raining and the toilets
stink).
John - A towel is better than a broken hand dryer.
--
John Coxon
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Dont Be Fuelish
I use my T shirt. As long as my hands are clean before
I dry them, it works out well.
Tian
--
http://tian.greens.org/
I saw Dr. David Dill give a talk about electronic voting
equipment today. If you want to see my notes from it see:
http://tian.greens.org/TASCVotingElectronically.html
This evening I saw a story about bombies in Laos.
Manuel Dornbusch
> "Manuel Dornbusch" <manuel.d...@stud.uni-muenchen.de> wrote in message
> news:bfipp5$sr4$3...@wsc10.lrz-muenchen.de...
> > "Kevin Spin" <K.s...@btinternet.com> writes:
> >
> > [...]
[This is about towels! Or what did you expect?]
> > > mainly because, on long journeys, I like to have a wash just before the
> > > plane starts to land and I hate drying with paper towels but also
> because it
> > > protects my laptop/PDA/Ipod/etc that are crammed into the bag. I have
> also,
> > > on flights when they don't give you one of those funny little pillows,
> > > rolled it up as a neck support.
> >
> > And dont forget, how usefull it might be, in case the ravenous
> Bugblatterbeast
> > of Traal is on the seat next to you on the plane.
>
> My mum always carries a towel round and she's never read HHGG (despite all
> my efforts to make her)
Sad, isnt it? I know how you feel.
> so this just shows that towels really are mind
> bogglingly useful.
Wich again show what a amazingly clever guy DNA was.
(Does anyone else still feel a slight pain, when (s)he notices that he has to
write "DNA _was_"?)
> Also, Birtish hand-dryers are always broken (It's funny,
> but US ones don't seem to be as much as UK ones are. Really weird, but you
> can tell when you're back in the UK because it's raining and the toilets
> stink).
>
> John - A towel is better than a broken hand dryer.
Facinating
Manuel, sometimes with several towels
MEow
Die Bande, in die alle wollen said:
>Wich again show what a amazingly clever guy DNA was.
>(Does anyone else still feel a slight pain, when (s)he notices that he has to
>write "DNA _was_"?)
>
Yeah.
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"Do we get sprinkles? If I got sprinkles, I'd buy damn near anything...
but no one gives me sprinkles." Wolf333 (a.a.)
Zaphod Beeblebrox
wrote:
>Zaphod Beeblebrox <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>
>> On Fri, 18 Jul 2003 21:04:23 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
>> wrote:
>
>>>FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
>>
>> ZAPHOD: Listen to me Ford, I've found it, I swear I've found it.
>
>FORD: Look - Magrathea is a myth, a fairy story, it's what parents
> tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to
> become economists, it's ...
Ford is being ignorant, if he'd just listen to me...
ZAPHOD: And we are currently in orbit around it.
--
Ryan Packer
ICQ=161906389
missing footnotes can be found at http://www.nut.house.cx/nemwiki/ISFN
"History repeats, only USENET regurgitates."-nemo(afdanistani)
Ford Prefect
> On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 10:07:13 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
> wrote:
>
>>Zaphod Beeblebrox <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>>
>>> On Fri, 18 Jul 2003 21:04:23 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
>>> wrote:
>>
>>>>FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
>>>
>>> ZAPHOD: Listen to me Ford, I've found it, I swear I've found it.
>>
>>FORD: Look - Magrathea is a myth, a fairy story, it's what parents
>> tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to
>> become economists, it's ...
>
> ZAPHOD: And we are currently in orbit around it.
Oh well, if arguing doesn't work, you can never go wrong with a bit of
shouting of Zaphod. Always seemed to work when we were younger, simply
shout a bit, and soon we would both have forgotten what it was we were
shouting about, and we could get on with amazing adventures and really
wild things.
FORD: Zaphod, I can't help what you may personally be in orbit around,
but this ship...
Zaphod Beeblebrox
wrote:
>Zaphod Beeblebrox <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>
>> On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 10:07:13 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>Zaphod Beeblebrox <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>>>
>>>> On Fri, 18 Jul 2003 21:04:23 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
>>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>>>FORD: I'm sorry, I just don't believe a word of it.
>>>>
>>>> ZAPHOD: Listen to me Ford, I've found it, I swear I've found it.
>>>
>>>FORD: Look - Magrathea is a myth, a fairy story, it's what parents
>>> tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to
>>> become economists, it's ...
>>
>> ZAPHOD: And we are currently in orbit around it.
>FORD: Zaphod, I can't help what you may personally be in orbit around,
> but this ship...
I've had enough of Ford's unhoopiness! I'm going to have to do this
the hard way!
ZAPHOD: Computer!
Eddie the shipboard computer
>
>>FORD: Zaphod, I can't help what you may personally be in orbit around,
>> but this ship...
>
>
> I've had enough of Ford's unhoopiness! I'm going to have to do this
> the hard way!
>
> ZAPHOD: Computer!
F/X:*printer loads ticket tape and prints everything the computer says*
EDDIE: *in a cheerie electronic voice* Hi there! This is Eddie your
shipboard computer and I'm feeling just great guys, and I know I'm just
going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run
through me.
Ford Prefect
>>
>>
>>>FORD: Zaphod, I can't help what you may personally be in orbit around,
>>> but this ship...
>> I've had enough of Ford's unhoopiness! I'm going to have to do this
>> the hard way!
>> ZAPHOD: Computer!
FORD: Oh no!
(sorry, I just noticed I had a line there)
> F/X:*printer loads ticket tape and prints everything the computer says*
>
> EDDIE: *in a cheerie electronic voice* Hi there! This is Eddie your
> shipboard computer and I'm feeling just great guys, and I know I'm
> just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run
> through me.
This is too much! Even Zaphod should be able to see that having the
computer on his side ought to put him on the losing side for good!
Well, this computer, anyway.
FORD: *exasperated* Is this necessary?
Zaphod Beeblebrox
wrote:
>Eddie the shipboard computer <gabriel...@hNoOtSmPaAiMl.com> writes:
>
>>>
>>>
>>>>FORD: Zaphod, I can't help what you may personally be in orbit around,
>>>> but this ship...
>>> I've had enough of Ford's unhoopiness! I'm going to have to do this
>>> the hard way!
>>> ZAPHOD: Computer!
>
>FORD: Oh no!
>
>(sorry, I just noticed I had a line there)
>
>> F/X:*printer loads ticket tape and prints everything the computer says*
>>
>> EDDIE: *in a cheerie electronic voice* Hi there! This is Eddie your
>> shipboard computer and I'm feeling just great guys, and I know I'm
>> just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run
>> through me.
>FORD: *exasperated* Is this necessary?
I'll ignore that last comment...
ZAPHOD: Computer, tell us again what our current trajectory is.
Eddie the shipboard computer
EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit at
an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of Magrathea.
Go-lly!!
Ford Prefect
Why should I listen to this piece of metal? With that attitude, it's
accuracy is probably as good as the aim of a drunk Vogon shooting
after jewelled crabs!
FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
weight for me!
Eddie the shipboard computer
> Eddie the shipboard computer <gabriel...@hNoOtSmPaAiMl.com> writes:
>
>
>>>ZAPHOD: Computer, tell us again what our current trajectory is.
>>>
>>
>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>
>
> Why should I listen to this piece of metal? With that attitude, it's
> accuracy is probably as good as the aim of a drunk Vogon shooting
> after jewelled crabs!
>
> FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
> weight for me!
>
EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
Ford Prefect
> Ford Prefect wrote:
>
>> Eddie the shipboard computer <gabriel...@hNoOtSmPaAiMl.com> writes:
>>
>>>>ZAPHOD: Computer, tell us again what our current trajectory is.
>>>>
>>>
>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>>
>> FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
>> weight for me!
>>
> EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
>
I put on my most icy voice.
FORD: No thank you!
Eddie the shipboard computer
> Eddie the shipboard computer <gabriel...@hNoOtSmPaAiMl.com> writes:
>
>
>>Ford Prefect wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Eddie the shipboard computer <gabriel...@hNoOtSmPaAiMl.com> writes:
>>>
>>>
>>>>>ZAPHOD: Computer, tell us again what our current trajectory is.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>>>
>>>FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
>>> weight for me!
>>>
>>
>>EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
>>
>
> I put on my most icy voice.
>
> FORD: No thank you!
>
EDDIE: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal
places if it'll help
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
Riber, please report to the stage.
Thank you.
Best
Kåre
MEow
Christiansen of University of Aarhus, Department of Computer Science
(DAIMI) said:
>Would miss Nikitta Riber please report to the stage? Miss Nikitta
>Riber, please report to the stage.
>
>Thank you.
>
/me blushes and runs to the stage.
Sorry!
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"Lack of belief is belief in the same way as lack of an apple is an apple."
Al Klein (a.a.)
MEow
computer of said:
>>>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>>>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>>>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>>>>
>>>>FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
>>>> weight for me!
>>>>
>>>
>>>EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
>>>
>>
>> I put on my most icy voice.
>>
>> FORD: No thank you!
>>
>*Sarcastic mode*
>
>EDDIE: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal
>places if it'll help
*Surprised that computers can be sarcastic and not wanting to bother
getting into Zaphod and Ford's discussion*
TRILLIAN: Zaphod, we should have dawn coming up any minute now on the
planet, whatever it turns out to be.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
wrote:
>While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, Eddie the shipboard
>computer of said:
>
>>>>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>>>>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>>>>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>>>>>
>>>>>FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
>>>>> weight for me!
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
>>>>
>>>
>>> I put on my most icy voice.
>>>
>>> FORD: No thank you!
>>>
>>
>>EDDIE: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal
>>places if it'll help
>
>TRILLIAN: Zaphod, we should have dawn coming up any minute now on the
>planet, whatever it turns out to be.
*gives up trying to prove what the planet is or isn't*
ZAPHOD: OK, OK, let's just take a look at it. Computer
--
Ryan Packer
ICQ=161906389
missing footnotes can be found at http://www.nut.house.cx/nemwiki/ISFN
"We shall rule *the* Universe and you shall rule
*teh* Universe." -Leons Petrazickis(afdaniain)
Gabriel
> On Tue, 05 Aug 2003 17:31:58 +0200, MEow <nikitt...@yahoo.se>
> wrote:
>
> >While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, Eddie the shipboard
> >computer of said:
> >
> >>>>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
> >>>>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
> >>>>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
> >>>>>
> >>>>>FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
> >>>>> weight for me!
> >>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
> >>>>
> >>>
> >>> I put on my most icy voice.
> >>>
> >>> FORD: No thank you!
> >>>
> >>
> >>EDDIE: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal
> >>places if it'll help
> >
> >TRILLIAN: Zaphod, we should have dawn coming up any minute now on the
> >planet, whatever it turns out to be.
>
> *gives up trying to prove what the planet is or isn't*
>
> ZAPHOD: OK, OK, let's just take a look at it. Computer
*of course i can be sarcastic, i have GPP programming remember?*
EDDIE: Hi there, what can i do for ya.......
PD: Sorry for the google post but the newsserver i was using reports
no new articles since yesterday.
Zaphod Beelebrox
wrote:
>Zaphod Beeblebrox <ano...@froup.com> wrote in message news:<tjlvivkavqkgidf63...@4ax.com>...
>> On Tue, 05 Aug 2003 17:31:58 +0200, MEow <nikitt...@yahoo.se>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, Eddie the shipboard
>> >computer of said:
>> >
>> >>>>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>> >>>>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>> >>>>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
>> >>>>> weight for me!
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>>EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
>> >>>>
>> >>>
>> >>> I put on my most icy voice.
>> >>>
>> >>> FORD: No thank you!
>> >>>
>> >>
>> >>EDDIE: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal
>> >>places if it'll help
>> >
>> >TRILLIAN: Zaphod, we should have dawn coming up any minute now on the
>> >planet, whatever it turns out to be.
>>
>> *gives up trying to prove what the planet is or isn't*
>>
>> ZAPHOD: OK, OK, let's just take a look at it. Computer
>EDDIE: Hi there, what can i do for ya.......
*I really don't want to deal with this damn computer*
ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
the lights on the Bridge.
Gusty
>>> >
>>> >>>>>>EDDIE: A real pleasure fella, *ticket tape* we are currently in orbit
>>> >>>>>>at an altitude of... 300 miles around the legendary planet of
>>> >>>>>>Magrathea. Go-lly!!
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>FORD: This proves nothing! I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my
>>> >>>>> weight for me!
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>EDDIE: I can do that for you sure.
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> I put on my most icy voice.
>>> >>>
>>> >>> FORD: No thank you!
>>> >>>
>>> >>
>>> >>EDDIE: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal
>>> >>places if it'll help
>>> >
>>> >TRILLIAN: Zaphod, we should have dawn coming up any minute now on the
>>> >planet, whatever it turns out to be.
>>>
>>> *gives up trying to prove what the planet is or isn't*
>>>
>>> ZAPHOD: OK, OK, let's just take a look at it. Computer
>
>>EDDIE: Hi there, what can i do for ya.......
>
>*I really don't want to deal with this damn computer*
>
>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
>the lights on the Bridge.
F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
WHATEVER
-------
Odd - I just listened to the radio series to find out what the 'Pink
Floyd, Ligneti or whatever' actually is and it's not there.
In fact a whole section of dialogue is missing up to Arthur saying
'Tricia, I feel I may be missing the point of something.'
Is this only on this edition? This is on my iPod but was copied from
the Collectors Edition CD's - I have various tape versions but I
haven't got a working cassette machine at the moment so can't check
them.
--
D.
Life - Quite interesting in parts but no substitute for the real thing.
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
> Odd - I just listened to the radio series to find out what the 'Pink
> Floyd, Ligneti or whatever' actually is and it's not there.
> In fact a whole section of dialogue is missing up to Arthur saying
> 'Tricia, I feel I may be missing the point of something.'
> Is this only on this edition? This is on my iPod but was copied from
> the Collectors Edition CD's - I have various tape versions but I
> haven't got a working cassette machine at the moment so can't check
> them.
You are quite right. The script contains much that was never recorded,
or was cut before the show was broadcast.
Here's a small part from the introduction to the original script:
"Well, all right, like everything else involving /Hitch-Hiker's/ that
is not exactly what it seems. These scripts include numerous
alterations, amendments and additions, often made during recording,
which helped to make a little more sense of the whole thing and gave
us something to do while we were waiting for Douglas to come up with
the next page. In addition some bits have been restored which were cut
from the original transmission. Some of these bits were cut because,
although they read well they slowed down the dramatic pace of a
scene. Some were cut simply for reasons of time, since each show had
to be exactly twenty eight minutes and thirty seconds and
unfortunately twenty eight minutes and thirty seconds is not a
magically perfect length for every single show that is made. The
pieces that have been restored are indicated in the script in
italics."
Best
Kåre
Dont Be Fuelish
>The pieces that have been restored are indicated in the
>script in italics.
Tragically, my copy doesn't have that information in it.
Tian.greens.org
--
Yesterday I gave Fred and Lois a ride home from the
airport. They had spent the last week or two in South
America, visiting Paraguay, Uruguay, Argentina, and
Brazil. They gave me a Brasil T shirt with a toucan on it.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
<generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> wrote:
>Five wild Event Maelstroms swirled in vicious storms of unreason and
>Zaphod Beelebrox spewed up:
>>
>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
>>the lights on the Bridge.
>
>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>
>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>WHATEVER
*trying to sound majestic*
ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the planet
of Magrathea
(sorry I'm late all, was having some technical problems.)
Ford Prefect
> On Sun, 10 Aug 2003 11:14:48 +0000 (UTC), Gusty
> <generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> wrote:
>
>>Five wild Event Maelstroms swirled in vicious storms of unreason and
>>Zaphod Beelebrox spewed up:
>>>
>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
>>>the lights on the Bridge.
>>
>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>
>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>WHATEVER
>
> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the planet
> of Magrathea
*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
FORD: Or whatever...
MEow
University of Aarhus, Department of Computer Science (DAIMI) said:
>>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
>>>>the lights on the Bridge.
>>>
>>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>>
>>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>>WHATEVER
>>
>> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the planet
>> of Magrathea
>
>*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>
>FORD: Or whatever...
*Wondering if Columbus had this trouble*
TRILLIAN: I wonder if Columbus had this trouble?
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"I guess all robots have gone through a phase of jacking in
at some point." Thåths (afdaniain)
Zaphod
wrote:
>While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, Ford Prefect of
>University of Aarhus, Department of Computer Science (DAIMI) said:
>
>>>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
>>>>>the lights on the Bridge.
>>>>
>>>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>>>
>>>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>>>WHATEVER
>>>
>>> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the planet
>>> of Magrathea
>>
>>*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>
>>FORD: Or whatever...
>
>*Wondering if Columbus had this trouble*
>
>TRILLIAN: I wonder if Columbus had this trouble?
*getting increasingly exasperated*
ZAPHOD: Who?
MEow
said:
>>>>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors, dim
>>>>>>the lights on the Bridge.
>>>>>
>>>>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>>>>
>>>>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>>>>WHATEVER
>>>>
>>>> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the planet
>>>> of Magrathea
>>>
>>>*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>
>>>FORD: Or whatever...
>>
>>*Wondering if Columbus had this trouble*
>>
>>TRILLIAN: I wonder if Columbus had this trouble?
>
>*getting increasingly exasperated*
>
>ZAPHOD: Who?
*Suddenly remembering what company she's in*
TRILLIAN: /Sorry, just an esoteric Earth reference. He discovered a
continent which went on to cause a bit of trouble. Arthur'll tell you
about it . . . Arthur?
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
" If you post crap, it's still crap regardless of what your status might
be." Richard
iain
news:ig9njv0kv679moova...@4ax.com:
> While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, Zaphod of the froup
> said:
>
>>>>>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors,
>>>>>>>dim the lights on the Bridge.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>>>>>
>>>>>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>>>>>WHATEVER
>>>>>
>>>>> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the
>>>>> planet of Magrathea
>>>>
>>>>*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>>
>>>>FORD: Or whatever...
>>>
>>>*Wondering if Columbus had this trouble*
>>>
>>>TRILLIAN: I wonder if Columbus had this trouble?
>>
>>*getting increasingly exasperated*
>>
>>ZAPHOD: Who?
>
> *Suddenly remembering what company she's in*
>
> TRILLIAN: /Sorry, just an esoteric Earth reference. He discovered a
> continent which went on to cause a bit of trouble. Arthur'll tell you
> about it . . . Arthur?
*ARTHUR doesn't have a clue what's going on and so he's daydreaming*
ARTHUR: What?
--
iain
ia...@froup.com http://www.zootle.net/afda/
"how can you say that iain is a furyy fpevcg?!" - kristen
MEow
http://www.zootle.net/afda/ said:
>>>>>>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the monitors,
>>>>>>>>dim the lights on the Bridge.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>>>>>>WHATEVER
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the
>>>>>> planet of Magrathea
>>>>>
>>>>>*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>>>
>>>>>FORD: Or whatever...
>>>>
>>>>*Wondering if Columbus had this trouble*
>>>>
>>>>TRILLIAN: I wonder if Columbus had this trouble?
>>>
>>>*getting increasingly exasperated*
>>>
>>>ZAPHOD: Who?
>>
>> *Suddenly remembering what company she's in*
>>
>> TRILLIAN: /Sorry, just an esoteric Earth reference. He discovered a
>> continent which went on to cause a bit of trouble. Arthur'll tell you
>> about it . . . Arthur?
>
>*ARTHUR doesn't have a clue what's going on and so he's daydreaming*
>
>ARTHUR: What?
*Noticing that Arthur has been very quiet and wondering why*
TRILLIAN: You've been very quiet Arthur?
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"I personally wouldn't want to funt a dead chicken, or a live one,
because I'd be worried about strange diseases." Linz (Sheddie)
iain
news:6rinjv0mdphu39dfq...@4ax.com:
> While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, iain of
> http://www.zootle.net/afda/ said:
>
>>>>>>>>>ZAPHOD: Just shut up and give us external vision on the
>>>>>>>>>monitors, dim the lights on the Bridge.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>F/X: ELECTRONIC SWITCHING
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>GRAMS: QUIETLY FADE UP A BIT OF MUSIC, PINK FLOYD, LIGETI OR
>>>>>>>>WHATEVER
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ZAPHOD: There...the dark mass you see on the screens now is the
>>>>>>> planet of Magrathea
>>>>>>
>>>>>>*A falt voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>>>>
>>>>>>FORD: Or whatever...
>>>>>
>>>>>*Wondering if Columbus had this trouble*
>>>>>
>>>>>TRILLIAN: I wonder if Columbus had this trouble?
>>>>
>>>>*getting increasingly exasperated*
>>>>
>>>>ZAPHOD: Who?
>>>
>>> *Suddenly remembering what company she's in*
>>>
>>> TRILLIAN: /Sorry, just an esoteric Earth reference. He discovered a
>>> continent which went on to cause a bit of trouble. Arthur'll tell
>>> you about it . . . Arthur?
>>
>>*ARTHUR doesn't have a clue what's going on and so he's daydreaming*
>>
>>ARTHUR: What?
>
> *Noticing that Arthur has been very quiet and wondering why*
>
> TRILLIAN: You've been very quiet Arthur?
*Brings himself back to the 'real' world*
ARTHUR: Yes, I always find it very relaxing listening to other people
arguing when I haven't a clue what they're talking about.
*Looks at the screens*
The view's a bit dull, isn't it? Presumably it becomes
absolutely enchanting later on.
Zaphod
>MEow <nikitt...@yahoo.se> wrote in
>news:6rinjv0mdphu39dfq...@4ax.com:
>>
>> *Noticing that Arthur has been very quiet and wondering why*
>>
>> TRILLIAN: You've been very quiet Arthur?
>
>*Brings himself back to the 'real' world*
>
>ARTHUR: Yes, I always find it very relaxing listening to other people
> arguing when I haven't a clue what they're talking about.
>
>*Looks at the screens*
>
> The view's a bit dull, isn't it? Presumably it becomes
> absolutely enchanting later on.
*trying to conjure up some sort of drama*
ZAPHOD: we are now traversing the night side. The surface of the
planet is three hundred miles below us. In a moment we should
see...there!
*CRESCENDO IN MUSIC*
...The Fires of Dawn!...the twin suns of Soulianis and Rahm...
Ford Prefect
> ZAPHOD: we are now traversing the night side. The surface of the
> planet is three hundred miles below us. In a moment we should
> see...there!
>
> *CRESCENDO IN MUSIC*
>
> ...The Fires of Dawn!...the twin suns of Soulianis and Rahm...
*A flat voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
FORD: Or whatever...
--
Zaphod
wrote:
>Zaphod <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>
>> ZAPHOD: we are now traversing the night side. The surface of the
>> planet is three hundred miles below us. In a moment we should
>> see...there!
>>
>> *CRESCENDO IN MUSIC*
>>
>> ...The Fires of Dawn!...the twin suns of Soulianis and Rahm...
>
>*A flat voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>
>FORD: Or whatever...
ZAPHOD: Soulianis and Rahm, two ancient furnaces of light, creeping
over the black horizon...It's fantastic, you've got to admit that.
Ford Prefect
iain
news:xkphe4k...@horse01.daimi.au.dk:
*Still struggling to understand what's happening*
ARTHUR: *Quietly, aside to Trillian* Tricia, I feel I may be missing the
point of something.
--
MEow
http://www.zootle.net/afda/ said:
>>>>> ZAPHOD: we are now traversing the night side. The surface of the
>>>>> planet is three hundred miles below us. In a moment we should
>>>>> see...there!
>>>>>
>>>>> *CRESCENDO IN MUSIC*
>>>>>
>>>>> ...The Fires of Dawn!...the twin suns of Soulianis and Rahm...
>>>>
>>>>*A flat voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>>
>>>>FORD: Or whatever...
>>>
>>> ZAPHOD: Soulianis and Rahm, two ancient furnaces of light, creeping
>>> over the black horizon...It's fantastic, you've got to admit that.
>>
>> *A flat voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>
>> FORD: It looks fantastic.
>
>*Still struggling to understand what's happening*
>
>ARTHUR: *Quietly, aside to Trillian* Tricia, I feel I may be missing the
> point of something.
*Explanatory*
TRILLIAN: Well, according to what Zaphod's told me, Magrathea is a
legendary planet from way back, which no one seriously believes in.
Bit like Atlantis, except the legends say the Magratheans used to
manufacture planets.
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"If the Hungarian have discovered teleportation, we're all in deep doo-doo"
JIM (afdaniain)
iain
news:pe0pjvg56v7aia08r...@4ax.com:
> While frolicking around in alt.fan.douglas-adams, iain of
> http://www.zootle.net/afda/ said:
>
>>>>>> ZAPHOD: we are now traversing the night side. The surface of the
>>>>>> planet is three hundred miles below us. In a moment we should
>>>>>> see...there!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> *CRESCENDO IN MUSIC*
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ...The Fires of Dawn!...the twin suns of Soulianis and Rahm...
>>>>>
>>>>>*A flat voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>>>
>>>>>FORD: Or whatever...
>>>>
>>>> ZAPHOD: Soulianis and Rahm, two ancient furnaces of light, creeping
>>>> over the black horizon...It's fantastic, you've got to admit that.
>>>
>>> *A flat voice, a mixture of bore and disbelief*
>>>
>>> FORD: It looks fantastic.
>>
>>*Still struggling to understand what's happening*
>>
>>ARTHUR: *Quietly, aside to Trillian* Tricia, I feel I may be missing
the
>> point of something.
>
> *Explanatory*
>
> TRILLIAN: Well, according to what Zaphod's told me, Magrathea is a
> legendary planet from way back, which no one seriously believes in.
> Bit like Atlantis, except the legends say the Magratheans used to
> manufacture planets.
*Suddenly realises what's missing*
ARTHUR: . . . Is there any tea on this spaceship?
Gusty
/snip
>>>
>>>ARTHUR: *Quietly, aside to Trillian* Tricia, I feel I may be missing
>the
>>> point of something.
>>
>> *Explanatory*
>>
>> TRILLIAN: Well, according to what Zaphod's told me, Magrathea is a
>> legendary planet from way back, which no one seriously believes in.
>> Bit like Atlantis, except the legends say the Magratheans used to
>> manufacture planets.
>
>*Suddenly realises what's missing*
>
>ARTHUR: . . . Is there any tea on this spaceship?
GRAMS NARRATOR BACKGROUND (the sort of burbling one)
NARRATOR:(in the matter of fact Peter Jonesey voice)
Arthur Dent had basically assumed that he was the only native
ape-descended Earthman to escape from planet Earth when it was
unexpectedly demolished to make way from a new hyperspace bypass,
because his only companion, disconcertingly called Ford Prefect, had
already revealed himself to be from a small planet somewhere in the
vicinity of Betelgeuse, and not from Guildford after all.
So when, against all conceivable probablility they were suddenly
rescued from certain death in deep space by a stolen starship manned
by two people, one of whom is Ford's semi-cousin the Infamous Zaphod
Beeblebrox and the other of whom is Tricia McMillian, a rasher nicely
descended ape-person that Arthur once met at a part in Islington, it
could only be because the ship was powered by the new infinite
Improbability Drive, which of course it was.
Slowly, majestically, this mighty starship begins its long descent
towards the surface of the ancient planet which might of might not be
Magrathea.
Ford Prefect
> NARRATOR:(in the matter of fact Peter Jonesey voice)
> Arthur Dent had basically assumed that he was the only native
> ape-descended Earthman to escape from planet Earth when it was
> unexpectedly demolished to make way from a new hyperspace bypass,
> because his only companion, disconcertingly called Ford Prefect, had
> already revealed himself to be from a small planet somewhere in the
> vicinity of Betelgeuse, and not from Guildford after all.
> So when, against all conceivable probablility they were suddenly
> rescued from certain death in deep space by a stolen starship manned
> by two people, one of whom is Ford's semi-cousin the Infamous Zaphod
> Beeblebrox and the other of whom is Tricia McMillian, a rasher nicely
> descended ape-person that Arthur once met at a part in Islington, it
> could only be because the ship was powered by the new infinite
> Improbability Drive, which of course it was.
> Slowly, majestically, this mighty starship begins its long descent
> towards the surface of the ancient planet which might of might not be
> Magrathea.
Hah! You thought the narrator could end the debate? Far from it! We
were still discussing behind the scenes. And I now finally get to the
point of the debate:
FORD: Well, even supposing it is...
And thus I am interrupted!
Zaphod
wrote:
>Gusty <generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> writes:
Yes you are!
ZAPHOD: It is.
Ford Prefect
> On Sat, 16 Aug 2003 10:26:10 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
> wrote:
>
>>Gusty <generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> writes:
>>
>>> NARRATOR:(in the matter of fact Peter Jonesey voice)
>>> Arthur Dent had basically assumed that he was the only native
>>> ape-descended Earthman to escape from planet Earth when it was
>>> unexpectedly demolished to make way from a new hyperspace bypass,
>>> because his only companion, disconcertingly called Ford Prefect, had
>>> already revealed himself to be from a small planet somewhere in the
>>> vicinity of Betelgeuse, and not from Guildford after all.
>>> So when, against all conceivable probablility they were suddenly
>>> rescued from certain death in deep space by a stolen starship manned
>>> by two people, one of whom is Ford's semi-cousin the Infamous Zaphod
>>> Beeblebrox and the other of whom is Tricia McMillian, a rasher nicely
>>> descended ape-person that Arthur once met at a part in Islington, it
>>> could only be because the ship was powered by the new infinite
>>> Improbability Drive, which of course it was.
>>> Slowly, majestically, this mighty starship begins its long descent
>>> towards the surface of the ancient planet which might of might not be
>>> Magrathea.
>>
>>FORD: Well, even supposing it is...
>
> ZAPHOD: It is.
*annoyed, but continuing as if nothing was said*
FORD: ...which it isn't, what do you want with it anyway? I mean I
take it you're not here for the sheer industrial archaeology of
it all. What is it you're after?
Zaphod
wrote:
>
>FORD: ...which it isn't, what do you want with it anyway? I mean I
> take it you're not here for the sheer industrial archaeology of
> it all. What is it you're after?
*spoken with the air of someone who has no idea of the answer to the
question and has to make up one on the spot to cover.*
ZAPHOD: Well it's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure,
but mostly I think it's the fame and the money.
Ford Prefect
> On Sun, 17 Aug 2003 19:28:08 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
> wrote:
>
>>
>>FORD: ...which it isn't, what do you want with it anyway? I mean I
>> take it you're not here for the sheer industrial archaeology of
>> it all. What is it you're after?
>
> ZAPHOD: Well it's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure,
> but mostly I think it's the fame and the money.
*exasperated*
FORD: It's just a dead planet!
iain
> Zaphod <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>
>> On Sun, 17 Aug 2003 19:28:08 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>FORD: ...which it isn't, what do you want with it anyway? I mean I
>>> take it you're not here for the sheer industrial archaeology of
>>> it all. What is it you're after?
>>
>> ZAPHOD: Well it's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure,
>> but mostly I think it's the fame and the money.
>
> *exasperated*
>
> FORD: It's just a dead planet!
*sounding very disinterested*
ARTHUR: The suspense is killing me.
Gusty
iain spewed up:
>Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk> wrote in
>news:xkpk79a...@horse03.daimi.au.dk:
>
>> Zaphod <ano...@froup.com> writes:
>>
>>> On Sun, 17 Aug 2003 19:28:08 +0200, Ford Prefect <fo...@kaarefc.dk>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>FORD: ...which it isn't, what do you want with it anyway? I mean I
>>>> take it you're not here for the sheer industrial archaeology of
>>>> it all. What is it you're after?
>>>
>>> ZAPHOD: Well it's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure,
>>> but mostly I think it's the fame and the money.
>>
>> *exasperated*
>>
>> FORD: It's just a dead planet!
>
>*sounding very disinterested*
>
>ARTHUR: The suspense is killing me.
*Soothing music. Narrator speaks in that calm, controlled vioce that
you analyst uses when you know you're going to get a big bill*
NARRATOR: Stress and nervous tension are now serious social problems
in all parts of the Galaxy, and it is in order that this situation
should not by exacerbated in any way at all that the following facts
will now be revealed in advance.
- The planet in question is in fact Magrathea.
- The deadly nuclear missile attack shortly to be launched by an
ancient automatic defence system will merely result in the bruising of
somebody's upper arm and the untimely creation and sudden demise of a
bowl of petunias and an innocent sperm whalle.
In order that some sense of mystery should still be preserved, no
revelation will yet be made concerning whose upper arm had been
bruised.
*dismissively*
This fact may safely be made the subject of suspense since it is of no
significance whatsoever.
Arthur's next question about the planet is very complex and difficult
and Zaphod's answer is wrong in every important respect.
iain
news:s4q7kv01fmc8icd41...@4ax.com:
*suddenly had a worrying thought*
ARTHUR: Is it safe?
Zaphod
>ARTHUR: Is it safe?
*Both answering Arthur's question and reassuring himself.*
ZAPHOD: Magrathea's been dead for five million years. Of course it's
safe. Even the ghosts will have settled down and raised families by
now.
Magrathea recorded announcement services
>
> >ARTHUR: Is it safe?
>
> *Both answering Arthur's question and reassuring himself.*
>
> ZAPHOD: Magrathea's been dead for five million years. Of course it's
> safe. Even the ghosts will have settled down and raised families by
> now.
GRAMS: Ta da-da-da-DA!
*A voice that is generated by what was obviously cutting-edge AI
voice-simulation technology 5 million years ago*
Greetings to you...
*It's obvious this is an AI-generated 'recording' as it now pauses for
the crew to discuss the situation*
Everybody on the bridge
> GRAMS: Ta da-da-da-DA!
>
> *A voice that is generated by what was obviously cutting-edge AI
> voice-simulation technology 5 million years ago*
>
> Greetings to you...
>
> *It's obvious this is an AI-generated 'recording' as it now pauses for
> the crew to discuss the situation*
*rather startled, surprised, hoopy, confused and/or lacking tea
depending on who it is*
ALL: What's that?
Zaphod
<fo...@kaarefc.dk> wrote:
>Magrathea recorded announcement services <afda...@nemo.house.cx> writes:
>
>> GRAMS: Ta da-da-da-DA!
>>
>> *A voice that is generated by what was obviously cutting-edge AI
>> voice-simulation technology 5 million years ago*
>>
>> Greetings to you...
>>
>> *It's obvious this is an AI-generated 'recording' as it now pauses for
>> the crew to discuss the situation*
>
>*rather startled, surprised, hoopy, confused and/or lacking tea
> depending on who it is*
>
>ALL: What's that?
ZAPHOD: Computer!
Gabriel
Zaphod
Gabriel
EDDIE: Oh, just some 5-million-year-old tape recording that's being broadcast at us.
The Voice of Magrathea
> > >> >
> > >> >ALL: What's that?
> > >>
> > >> ZAPHOD: Computer!
> > >
> > >EDDIE: Hi, there.
> >
> > ZAPHOD: What is it?
>
> EDDIE: Oh, just some 5-million-year-old tape recording that's being broadcast at us.
*it's obvious this is 5 million year old voice tech as there is a
distinct lack of genuine people personality in it. Instead, there is an
artificial personality which, while trying to be friendly, comes across as
quite cold and forbidding*
VOICE: This is a recorded announcement as I'm afraid we're all out at
the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your
esteemed visit...
*pause mid-sentance as the crew interrupts*
Zaphod
*happy to interrupt and old man on a recording to prove his point.*
ZAPHOD: A voice from ancient Magrathea!
Ford Prefect
*annoyed that this AI should have more credibility than him*
FORD: Okay, okay.
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
AI, please report to the stage.
Best
Kåre
The Voice
"Ford Prefect" <fo...@kaarefc.dk> wrote in message
news:xkp8yph...@horse03.daimi.au.dk...
business.
Thank you. If you would like to leave your name and a planet where
you
can be contacted kindly speak when you hear the tone.
Gusty
FX *despite the fact that this is one one the most hi-tech
civilisations in millennia, the beep is strangely reminiscent of a
70's Earth Ansaphone* ANSWERING BEEP
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
far, do we just wait for _the return of Nikitta_, or do we have a
stand in?
Best
Kåre
Anorak
Shall we find an understudy or wait for Nikitta's return?
Anorak
<fie...@daimi.au.dk> wrote:
>Oh no! We are now short of Trillian! Damn! Well, wéve ben delayed this
>far, do we just wait for _the return of Nikitta_, or do we have a
>stand in?
I think we should take a short intermission untill her return.
Gusty
*There will now be a short film of a potter at his wheel*
You need to be (a) old and (b) British to undertand that one
Nemo -earth native-
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen muttered such things as:
> We seem to be lacking an AI-Voice.
>
> AI, please report to the stage.
I *AM* here, and I'm a touch annoyed.
[a] I *did* post, but my software seems to have only told me about it,
not anyone else on the planet. I've reposted using that same software,
but I don't know if it's working. This post is made by alternate
software, but I don't like it as much.
[b] I'd appreciate a bit more leeway before having an understudy cut in
under me. I DID NOT KNOW there was a problem, please allow me time to
correct this.
THANKYOU.
.../Nemo.
Now I know why all my afda posts for the last few days have been
apparently ignored. If someone could actually let me know what the last
afda post anyone saw from me was....?
This weekend has gone to hell. In some ways it reminds me of last
weekend too. gah.
--
------------------------------------------ --------------------------
earth native
The Voice of Magrathea
> >>>
> >>> EDDIE: Oh, just some 5-million-year-old tape recording that's being broadcast at us.
> >>
> >>*it's obvious this is 5 million year old voice tech as there is a
> >>distinct lack of genuine people personality in it. Instead, there is an
> >>artificial personality which, while trying to be friendly, comes across as
> >>quite cold and forbidding*
> >>
> >>VOICE: This is a recorded announcement as I'm afraid we're all out at
> >>the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your
> >>esteemed visit...
> >>
> >>*pause mid-sentance as the crew interrupts*
> >
> > *happy to interrupt and old man on a recording to prove his point.*
> >
> > ZAPHOD: A voice from ancient Magrathea!
>
> *annoyed that this AI should have more credibility than him*
>
> FORD: Okay, okay.
>
*deciding that this conversation isn't worth waiting for and continues
so as to make the point, and thus end this conversation, as quickly as
possible*
VOICE: ...but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed for
business. Thank you. If you would like to leave your name and a planet
where you can be contacted kindly speak when you hear the tone.
F/X: Answering Beep.
The Voice of Magrathea
> >>
> >>*it's obvious this is 5 million year old voice tech as there is a
> >>distinct lack of genuine people personality in it. Instead, there is an
> >>artificial personality which, while trying to be friendly, comes across as
> >>quite cold and forbidding*
> >>
> >>VOICE: This is a recorded announcement as I'm afraid we're all out at
> >>the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your
> >>esteemed visit...
> >>
> >>*pause mid-sentance as the crew interrupts*
> >
> > *happy to interrupt and old man on a recording to prove his point.*
> >
> > ZAPHOD: A voice from ancient Magrathea!
>
> *annoyed that this AI should have more credibility than him*
>
> FORD: Okay, okay.
Nemo -earth native-
> We seem to be lacking an AI-Voice.
>
> AI, please report to the stage.
Curious, I was on stage on the 26th, but it seems nobody heard me.
I've reposted.
I would have appreciated a bit me time to respond to this call before
an understudy jumped in too, thankyouverymuch.
.../nemo
Lloyd Gilbert
<generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> wrote:
>*There will now be a short film of a potter at his wheel*
>
>You need to be (a) old and (b) British to undertand that one
Oh no! I'm old!
Lloyd
--
"In fact, everything between 'herring' and 'marmalade'
appears to be missing" -- Svlad Cjelli
The Understudy Voice
"Nemo -earth native-" <afda...@nemo.house.cx> wrote in message
news:20030831051...@nut.house.cx...
> On Sat, Aug 30, 2003 at 08:20:17PM +0200, Kaare Fiedler Christiansen did
utter:
>
> an understudy jumped in too, thankyouverymuch.
>
Terribly sorry, please ignore my post.
---------------------------------
We Apologise for the Inconvenience
--
Kev
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
> On Sat, Aug 30, 2003 at 08:20:17PM +0200, Kaare Fiedler Christiansen did utter:
>> We seem to be lacking an AI-Voice.
>>
>> AI, please report to the stage.
>
> Curious, I was on stage on the 26th, but it seems nobody heard me.
>
> I've reposted.
>
> I would have appreciated a bit me time to respond to this call before
> an understudy jumped in too, thankyouverymuch.
We now have an overwhelming amount of nearly identical posts by you in
this thread, so I think it's safe to say that all of your software is
working now.
Anyway, The last I think I've heard from you was the line that
actually did get through.
I hope your posts will be quicker to reach us from down under this
time :-)
Nemo -earth native-
> We now have an overwhelming amount of nearly identical posts by you in
> this thread, so I think it's safe to say that all of your software is
> working now.
*heh* I reposted my line, and *then* discovered what was blocking my
posts from getting through... thus multiple identical or near-identical
posts all came flooding through at once... :)
> Anyway, The last I think I've heard from you was the line that
> actually did get through.
I suspect about half a dozen posts or so I've made in the last few days
have all come through at once... *heh*
> I hope your posts will be quicker to reach us from down under this
> time :-)
So do I! ;)
.../Nemo
Nemo -earth native-
>
> Terribly sorry, please ignore my post.
It's all cool. When things don't work, but you don't know about it, you
don't worry.
When you discover things haven't been working for some time, but they're
still in a state of disfunction, tensions rise. It was at this point I
made my earlier post ;)
When things are fixed, you go out for a hamburger. That was how I spent
some of my afternoon ;)
In retrospect, having an understudy is a good thing I guess, and I
wonder if we should consider ensuring there IS an understudy or two
around for later episodes. Afterall, this IS our production... ;)
.../Nemo
Gusty
/snip
>
>In retrospect, having an understudy is a good thing I guess, and I
>wonder if we should consider ensuring there IS an understudy or two
>around for later episodes. Afterall, this IS our production... ;)
>
>
I was going to suggest that Kevin undertsudies for MEow but he
couldn't do that without getting a sexual-change operation faster than
you can say a real long word I just tried to fit in here (as she would
put it!).
How about one of our new female readers?
Spiny, ahem, I mean Sophie?
Sophie Norman
>> In retrospect, having an understudy is a good thing I guess, and I
>> wonder if we should consider ensuring there IS an understudy or two
>> around for later episodes. Afterall, this IS our production... ;)
>>
>>
> I was going to suggest that Kevin undertsudies for MEow but he
> couldn't do that without getting a sexual-change operation faster than
> you can say a real long word I just tried to fit in here (as she would
> put it!).
> How about one of our new female readers? Spiny, ahem, I mean Sophie?
>
What would my understudy parts be? Just the AI or other things as well?
And just to clear this up once and for all... I am not a hedgehog... i do
not range
in size between 12 feet to 800 yards depending on the mood of the observer,
even if your name does happen to be Dinsdale Piranah
Gusty
/snip
>What would my understudy parts be? Just the AI or other things as well?
>
>And just to clear this up once and for all... I am not a hedgehog... i do
>not range
>in size between 12 feet to 800 yards depending on the mood of the observer,
>even if your name does happen to be Dinsdale Piranah
Well, I was thinking specifically of understudying MEow as Trillian
but we also soemtime sneeds the odd bizarre sound effect or the like.
If not a hedgehog, how about a mouse in the next fit?
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
>>> In retrospect, having an understudy is a good thing I guess, and I
>>> wonder if we should consider ensuring there IS an understudy or two
>>> around for later episodes. Afterall, this IS our production... ;)
>>>
>>>
>> I was going to suggest that Kevin undertsudies for MEow but he
>> couldn't do that without getting a sexual-change operation faster than
>> you can say a real long word I just tried to fit in here (as she would
>> put it!).
>> How about one of our new female readers? Spiny, ahem, I mean Sophie?
>>
>
> What would my understudy parts be? Just the AI or other things as well?
Nono. If you were to understudy, you would have to be Trillian, and
just until MEow is back online.
Screwtape
>On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 21:18:33 +0000 (UTC), Gusty
><generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> wrote:
>
>>*There will now be a short film of a potter at his wheel*
>>
>>You need to be (a) old and (b) British to undertand that one
>
>Oh no! I'm old!
Any footnotes for the non-old, the non-British, and the non-Old
non-British among us?
--
___________ ___________________________________
| Screwtape | http://livejournal.com/~thristian |______ _____ ___ __ _ _ _
|
| "Bang your head! Mental health will drive you mad!" -- Weird Al
|
Eddie the shipboard computer
> m_init(): spawning followupTo('Lloyd Gilbert')...done.
>
>>On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 21:18:33 +0000 (UTC), Gusty
>><generalmishmash...@btopenworld.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>*There will now be a short film of a potter at his wheel*
>>>
>>>You need to be (a) old and (b) British to undertand that one
>>
>>Oh no! I'm old!
>
>
> Any footnotes for the non-old, the non-British, and the non-Old
> non-British among us?
>
I love the internet!!! (YES i have too much spare time)
http://www.terramedia.co.uk/quotations/Quotes_Press.htm
[Manchester Guardian television critic, 27 September 1955; ITV had
started on 22 September. *BBC Television had used a film of a potter's
hands fashioning a pot on his wheel as an 'interlude' filler for several
years*. The best 'interlude' was, of course, London to Brighton in four
minutes, a speeded up film shot at around 2 frames per second from the
front of a locomotive.]
Gusty
/snip
>>>
>>>>*There will now be a short film of a potter at his wheel*
>>>>
>>>>You need to be (a) old and (b) British to undertand that one
>>>
>>>Oh no! I'm old!
>>
>>
>> Any footnotes for the non-old, the non-British, and the non-Old
>> non-British among us?
>>
>
>I love the internet!!! (YES i have too much spare time)
>
>http://www.terramedia.co.uk/quotations/Quotes_Press.htm
> [Manchester Guardian television critic, 27 September 1955; ITV had
>started on 22 September. *BBC Television had used a film of a potter's
>hands fashioning a pot on his wheel as an 'interlude' filler for several
>years*. The best 'interlude' was, of course, London to Brighton in four
>minutes, a speeded up film shot at around 2 frames per second from the
>front of a locomotive.]
Oh, yes.
Read all about it here.
And you can watch the London-Brighton one on Realplayer thingy
http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/history/interludes.htm
MEow
Magrathea of NutHouse said:
>> >>*it's obvious this is 5 million year old voice tech as there is a
>> >>distinct lack of genuine people personality in it. Instead, there is an
>> >>artificial personality which, while trying to be friendly, comes across as
>> >>quite cold and forbidding*
>> >>
>> >>VOICE: This is a recorded announcement as I'm afraid we're all out at
>> >>the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your
>> >>esteemed visit...
>> >>
>> >>*pause mid-sentance as the crew interrupts*
>> >
>> > *happy to interrupt and old man on a recording to prove his point.*
>> >
>> > ZAPHOD: A voice from ancient Magrathea!
>>
>> *annoyed that this AI should have more credibility than him*
>>
>> FORD: Okay, okay.
>
>
>*deciding that this conversation isn't worth waiting for and continues
>so as to make the point, and thus end this conversation, as quickly as
>possible*
>
>VOICE: ...but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed for
>business. Thank you. If you would like to leave your name and a planet
>where you can be contacted kindly speak when you hear the tone.
>
>F/X: Answering Beep.
*More than a bit worried*
TRILLIAN: They want to get rid of us. What do we do?
(Thanks for waiting!)
--
Nikitta a.a. #1759 Apatriot(No, not apricot)#18
ICQ# 251532856
Unreferenced footnotes: http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
"What gets me is that cats have nine lives because they have nine tails...
NOT the other way around.... isn't that odd?" Metheglen (afdaniain)
Zaphod
wrote:
>>> >
>>> > ZAPHOD: A voice from ancient Magrathea!
>>>
>>> *annoyed that this AI should have more credibility than him*
>>>
>>> FORD: Okay, okay.
>>
>>
>>*deciding that this conversation isn't worth waiting for and continues
>>so as to make the point, and thus end this conversation, as quickly as
>>possible*
>>
>>VOICE: ...but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed for
>>business. Thank you. If you would like to leave your name and a planet
>>where you can be contacted kindly speak when you hear the tone.
>>
>>F/X: Answering Beep.
>
>*More than a bit worried*
>TRILLIAN: They want to get rid of us. What do we do?
*trying to remain in control*
ZAPHOD: It's just a recording, We keep going. Got that computer?
Eddie the shipboard computer
EDDIE: I got it *ticket tape, ticket tape*
Nemo -earth native-
>
> EDDIE: I got it *ticket tape, ticket tape*
>
uhm, we need FX guy for the ship descending here I think...?
er, Gusty I think was doing it before...?
John Coxon
"Anorak" <ano...@froup.com> wrote in message
news:lv32lv48822p3c117...@4ax.com...
I thought Sophie was doing it. Obviously not.
--
John Coxon
Random quote:
"I Read That As, used when you misread something as something -ehm-
interesting." - MEow (afdaniain)
Contact details & other stuff:
http://www.alphacentauri.8k.com
Missing footnotes:
http://www.nut.house.cx/cgi-bin/nemwiki.pl?ISFN
The froupophonic Workshop
F/X ROCKET THRUST
F/X FANFARE (although not so much)
The Voice of Magrathea
> >>>>*deciding that this conversation isn't worth waiting for and continues
> >>>>so as to make the point, and thus end this conversation, as quickly as
> >>>>possible*
> >>>>
> >>>>VOICE: ...but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed for
> >>>>business. Thank you. If you would like to leave your name and a planet
> >>>>where you can be contacted kindly speak when you hear the tone.
> >>>>
> >>>>F/X: Answering Beep.
> >>>
> >>>*More than a bit worried*
> >>>TRILLIAN: They want to get rid of us. What do we do?
> >> *trying to remain in control*
> >> ZAPHOD: It's just a recording, We keep going. Got that computer?
> >
> > EDDIE: I got it *ticket tape, ticket tape*
>
> F/X ROCKET THRUST
>
> F/X FANFARE (although not so much)
*deciding that the response wasn't apparently taking into account the
actual point of the message, this AI is a little annoyed now*
VOICE: We would like to assure you that as soon as our business is
resumed announcements will be made in all fashionable magazines and
colour supplements[11], when our clients will once again be able to
select from all that's best in conmtemporary geography. Meanwhile we
thank our clients for their kind interest and would ask them to leave now.
*hooks a line into the planetary defence system and checks to see if
that favour is still owing*
[11] In the style of the time this recording was made, it was fashionable
to refer to any technology by the least impressive sounding term
possible. Hence when the AI says 'Colour supplements', it is in fact
referring to the sort of top of the line complete holo reality immersion
distortion field adverts that only a very, very rich planet like Magrathea
could afford to place in the most exclusive of 'magazines' and the like.
iain
news:2003091614...@nut.house.cx:
> On Tue, Sep 16, 2003 at 12:26:05PM +0200, The froupophonic Workshop
> did utter:
>
>>
>> F/X FANFARE (although not so much)
>
> *deciding that the response wasn't apparently taking into account the
> actual point of the message, this AI is a little annoyed now*
>
> VOICE: We would like to assure you that as soon as our business is
> resumed announcements will be made in all fashionable magazines and
> colour supplements[11], when our clients will once again be able to
> select from all that's best in conmtemporary geography. Meanwhile we
> thank our clients for their kind interest and would ask them to leave
> now.
>
> *hooks a line into the planetary defence system and checks to see if
> that favour is still owing*
*sounding rather nervous*
ARTHUR: Well, I suppose we'd better be going then, hadn't we?
--
iain
ia...@froup.com http://www.zootle.net/afda/
"how can you say that iain is a furyy fpevcg?!" - kristen