Meanwhile, Back at the Hawk ranch
ColonelHawk
TV room of his headquarters. He locks the door and sits down in his comfy
la-z-boy recliner and glances around his TV room to be sure he is alone. When
he is sure he is alone he picks up the remote and presses a button to turn the
TV on. With another quick glance he hits another button and turns on the DVD
player and presses play. Immediately the soundproof room is fille dwith the
sounds of.."Live from your DVD player...It's Saturday Night Live!!!! The
collection. Please enjoy the best of the years 1997-2002!!!!" The Hawk eases
back in his chair, pops the top on some apple juice and smiles as the hilarity
ensues. He chuckles to himself at the fact that the gamp at large thinks he
hates SNL. But he could never let his deep dark secret be known. So he came
here, 3 times a week, to view his collection and to watch the TiVoed episode
form the previous saturday. Ceasing his recollection he slips into the joy that
is SNL.>
Behind The Music: Blue Oyster Cult
Bruce Dickinson.....Christopher Walken
Eric Bloom.....Chris Parnell
Buck Dharma.....Horatio Sanz
Alan.....Chris Kattan
Bobby.....Jimmy Fallon
Gene Frenkle.....Will Ferrell
Announcer: After a series of staggering defeats, Blue Oyster Cult assembled in
the recording studio in late 1976 for a session with famed producer Bruce
Dickinson. And, luckily for us, the cameras were rolling.
Bruce Dickinson: Alright, guys, I think we're ready to lay this first track
down. By the way, my name is Bruce Dickinson. Yes, the Bruce Dickinson. And I
gotta tell you: fellas.. you have got what appears to be a dynamite sound!
Eric Bloom: Coming from you, Bruce, that means a lot.
Buck Dharma: Yeah. I mean, you're Bruce Dickinson!
Alan: It's incredible!
Bobby: I can't believe Bruce Dickinson digs our sound!
Bruce Dickinson: Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one
leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records. [ the group
laughs ] Alright, here we go. "Don't Fear the Reaper" - take one. [ exits into
the control booth ]
[ the group begins the song. Bobby slaps the drums, Eric jams his guitar, and
Gene bangs on a cowbell. ]
Eric: [ distracted by Gene banging the cowbell ] Okay! Wait! Wait! [ the group
cuts off their instruments ] Bruce, could you come in here for a minute,
please?
Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] That was gonna be a great track.
Guys, what's the deal?
Eric: Are you sure that was sounding okay?
Bruce Dickinson: I'll be honest.. fellas, it was sounding great. But.. I
could've used a little more cowbell. So.. let's take it again.. and, Gene.
Gene Frenkle: Yeah?
Bruce Dickinson: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really..
explore the space. I like what I'm hearing.
[ the group starts the song again, as Gene bangs more wildly onto the cowbell ]
Eric: Okay, wait! Stop! I'm sorry. Bruce, could you come back in here, please?
Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] Fellas.. now, we just wasted two
good tracks! That last one was even better than the first!
Eric: Well, it's just that I find Gene's cowbell playing distracting! If I'm
the only one, I'll shut up.
Buck Dharma: It was pretty rough..
Gene Frenkle: You know, I could pull back a little. If you'd like.
Bruce Dickinson: Not too much, though! Fellas, I'm telling you - you're gonna
want that cowbell on the track!
Gene Frenkle: You know what? It's fine. Let's just do this thing.
[ the band starts the song once more, with Gene banging the cowbell right next
to Eric's ear ]
Eric: [ stopping the song again, fighting Gene ] Come on, people!
Bruce Dickinson: [ running out of the booth again ] That.. that doesn't work
for me. I gotta have more cowbell!
Alan: Don't blow this for us, Gene!
Bobby: Quit being so selfish, Gene!
Gene Frenkle: Can I just say one thing? I'm standing here, staring at Bruce
Dickinson! And if Bruce Dickinson wants more cowbell, we should probably give
him more cowbell! And, Bobby, you are right - I am being selfish. But the last
time I checked, we don't have a lot of songs that feature the cowbell.
Bruce Dickinson: I gotta have more cowbell, baby!
Gene Frenkle: I'll be doing myself a disservice, and everybody in this band, if
I don't perform the hell out of this.
Bruce Dickinson: Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more
cowbell!
Gene Frenkle: Thanks, Bruce. But I think, maybe if I just leave.. and, maybe
I'll come back later, and we can lay down the cowbell. [ starts to leave the
studio ]
Bruce Dickinson: Aw, baby..
Eric: Gene, wait! Why don't you lay down that cowbell right now. With us.
Together.
[ everyone agrees ]
Gene Frenkle: Do you mean that, Eric?
Buck Dharma: He speaks for all of us.
Gene Frenkle: Thank you.
Bruce Dickinson: Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all are gonna be wearing
gold-plated diapers.
Alan: What does that mean?
Bruce Dickinson: Never question, Bruce Dickinson! Roll it! [ exits back to
booth ]
Eric: [ ready to lay the complete track down ] 1, 2, 3, 4.
[ the band starts up again. Close-up on Gene as he bangs the cowbell to
freeze-frame with graphic: "In Memorium: Gene Frenkle: 1950-2000" ]
Edgy'N'Stuff
--
Living fast and dying young's a part of the game
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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Omar Peter
Rocket fan club. Looking down the hall he sees his funny lil' honey is busy
folding laundry and talking on the phone to her sister, Omar Peter loads a
DVD marked "Incredible Hot Asian Porn Vol 14" he hits the play button. Then
he sits back and enjoys the comedy program he misses most of all: "Live from
the Los Angeles basin it's Fridays! With your cast..." Omar Peter smiles at
his hidden pleasure of old bootleg episodes of Fridays from the
mid-eighties.>
:^)
--
"I plan to make the change on Tuesday unless something horrible happens."
From the Oldest Usenet article in the Google Groups Archive
Date: Mon May 11 10:09:47 1981
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=anews.Aucbarpa.111
"ColonelHawk" <colon...@aol.comgotohell> wrote in message
news:20030226193713...@mb-fr.aol.com...
Sans Berry
well I wish it was true the The Hawk favors the SNL, and this transcription
of one of the best skits ever is not just to appease Sans...
I taped this past SNL with Walken, it was pretty damn good. The pranksters
skit was hilarious.
Sure, SNL has some hit and miss episodes, but what show doesn't? Constant
100% hilarity and approval by all audience members is impossible.
I'm glad you're willing to give it a try, or at least pretend to!
'The Hawk' enlightened us all with:
ColonelHawk
>"well played" -sarcastic slow clap
Oh how she wounds me.
OMAR!!!! I lay my soul bare and admit to watching SNL and you see how she
repays me?? She gives me sarcasm.
And she says this as well
>I'm glad you're willing to give it a try, or at least pretend to!
>
Pretend??
Omar!!!!!! She wounds me again!!! I bleed from a dozen wounds!!!
Oh the torture.
She even makes light of the name she gave me. She says The Hawk as if it pains
her and leaves a foul taste in her mouth!
Ahhh fickle fate thy name is Sans berry!!!
<Entering the TV chamber once more ColonelHawk (that is my name again) takes
all of his SNL DVD's and tosses them into the fireplace. With a sigh he plops
down into his easy chair and puts on a Seinfeld re-run.>
ColonelHawk
"Cousin Oliver. I wanted to see the dog maul him to death."
Omar Peter
<Omar Peter give a polite dignified golf clap>
Ain't she a pip! I think Sans has been talking to my funny lil' honey again!
They both seem to have the same play book at times. :^)
--
"I plan to make the change on Tuesday unless something horrible happens."
From the Oldest Usenet article in the Google Groups Archive
Date: Mon May 11 10:09:47 1981
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=anews.Aucbarpa.111
"ColonelHawk" <colon...@aol.comgotohell> wrote in message
news:20030227012132...@mb-bh.aol.com...
John Pertwee
wrote:
><The Hawk (as per Sans orders it will be The Hawk from now on) slips into the
>TV room of his headquarters. He locks the door and sits down in his comfy
>la-z-boy recliner and glances around his TV room to be sure he is alone. When
>he is sure he is alone he picks up the remote and presses a button to turn the
>TV on. With another quick glance he hits another button and turns on the DVD
>player and presses play. Immediately the soundproof room is fille dwith the
>sounds of.."Live from your DVD player...It's Saturday Night Live!!!! The
>collection. Please enjoy the best of the years 1997-2002!!!!" The Hawk eases
>back in his chair, pops the top on some apple juice and smiles as the hilarity
>ensues. He chuckles to himself at the fact that the gamp at large thinks he
>hates SNL. But he could never let his deep dark secret be known. So he came
>here, 3 times a week, to view his collection and to watch the TiVoed episode
>form the previous saturday. Ceasing his recollection he slips into the joy that
>is SNL.>
>
>
>
>
>Behind The Music: Blue Oyster Cult
>
>Bruce Dickinson.....Christopher Walken
>Eric Bloom.....Chris Parnell
>Buck Dharma.....Horatio Sanz
>Alan.....Chris Kattan
>Bobby.....Jimmy Fallon
>Gene Frenkle.....Will Ferrell
<snip>
This post needs more cowbell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It was then, staring into the abyss, that my tortured mind was truly
born."
--John Pertwee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bishop282
Sans Berry wrote:
> Constant 100% hilarity and approval by all audience members is
> impossible.
Au contraire! Howard Stern invented 100% hilarity.
tuppergirl
Omar Peter <omar_...@netzero.nospam.net> wrote
daze ago...I don't know why I keep getting theze reposts...but
>
> <Omar Peter give a polite dignified golf clap>
>
Is that anything like that 'cupped' clap we learned....so long ago.......
so polite, so nice, so gen-teel......
Thank God for the civilised.
Edgy'N'Stuff
The Jews don't golf clap?
--
Living fast and dying young's a part of the game
"tuppergirl" <TupT...@toad.net> wrote in message
news:Q609a.3$qA1....@news.abs.net...