Morigia: A Dragon's Tale
Andrea Morgan
Please leave comments.
Once upon a time in the land of Morigia, Annabelle the dragon was walking
along picking red roses and white roses and purple and yellow pansies. She
was startled by the cry of a blue jay who was angry at a squirrel for taking
a nut she had picked up. Annabelle looked around and saw a really handsome
dragon guy. The dragon guy walked over to her and said hi. "Hi," she said.
"Well, for such a pretty girl you must have a pretty name." "Well, at times
I don't think my name is very pretty, but it is Annabelle." "That's a very
pretty name and very unusual, you should be proud of your name." "Well, at
lots of times, I am." "Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm
Peter. What are you picking flowers for?" "I wanted a fresh bouquet of
flowers, so I came out to pick some. I don't live too far from here." "Would
you mind if I helped you finish picking flowers then walk you home?" You're
not serious." "I am serious," he said as he looked lovingly into her blue
eyes. "Why, that would be very nice. Pick any flowers you like and I will
tell you when I am done picking flowers also." They picked flowers for the
next 30 minutes and Annabelle said she was ready to go. They started the 10
minute walk towards her house. When they finally reached Annabelle's house,
"May I kiss you?" "Sure I guess" Peter kissed Annabelle. Annabelle kissed
him back. "Can I also have your phone number so I could call you and we
might be able to go out on a date?" About two days later, a florist appeared
with two dozen pink roses wrapped in green tissue paper. The florist handed
Annabelle the bouquet and said, "You must be one lucky lady to get so many
pretty roses." Annabelle picked up the card out of the bouquet and it said,
"When you get this note, meet me at the North Star on 29th St at 7 pm on
April 29th, 1999." She anticipated the arrival of April 29th and she started
getting ready at 5 pm. She put on a pretty dress with daisies on it, sprayed
on some perfume that smelled like vanilla and put her long flowing,
beautiful golden colored hair in a french twist. She also put light pink
heels on. She then walked out of her house at 6:30 to walk the two blocks to
North Star. She got there about 6:45 and got a booth and waited for Peter.
He got there about 6:50 and the way she looked made it so that he didn't
recognize her until she waved at him to come sit down. He sat down and they
talked about how life had been since they met. "Did you like the roses?" he
asked. "Oh yes, they were very beautiful!" she exclaimed. "Why don't we
order some coffee?" "Sure that would be great!" Peter then motioned for the
waiter to come over and he said, "What would you like to order?" "I would
like a frappachino and the lady would like, umm. What would you like,
Annabelle?" "I want the milky way coffee." "Include spoons with the coffee
please." The waiter came back about 10 minutes later. "Here is your
frappachino, sir and here is your milky way coffee, miss." "Thanks, here is
your tip," Peter replied. "Thank you and enjoy your coffee." They talked
some more about their hopes and dreams and then Peter asked Annabelle if she
wanted to see a movie. "I would like to but I don't have my money except for
enough to pay for my coffee." "Annabelle, don't worry. I'll pay for the
coffee and the movie." "That would, be nice but I would feel really bad."
"Don't feel bad, besides I'm a nice guy and you're a pretty lady and I will
pay your way tonight." "Thanks." Annabelle then gave him a hug and said,
"But what movie shall we see?" "How about "Never Been Kissed," it sounds
good." "Ok, let's go then." Peter and Annabelle walked out of North Star and
Peter led her over to his atlantic blue convertible. "Wow that's a pretty
blue!" "Thanks, it was my birthday present when I turned 16." "Cool, let's
go." They got in the car and drove 5 miles to the theater. They got out of
the car, walked up and got 2 tickets for "Never Been Kissed." They went in
and got popcorn and soda and watched the movie. They went to the car and
drove around a bit while they talked about the movie. "Well, what did you
think?" "I loved it!" "Me too. I had a fun time did you?" "Oh yes, let's do
it again sometime." "Want to go to the park?" "Sure." They drove to the lake
and Peter got a blanket out of the trunk of his car while Annabelle found a
nice place close enough to the lake to see the ducks but far enough away
that they wouldn't get wet. "You chose a perfect spot Annabelle. Isn't it
beautiful out here tonight? Look at all the stars up there. Do you ever try
to find constellations?" "Yes, the easiest one for me to find is Orion. I
can easily find him because Orion's Belt is really easy to find." "Look
there is Orion, that was pretty easy to find, I've never found any other
constellations because I don't know what they look like." "Yeah, same here."
"Annabelle, do you believe in astrology?" "I kind of do, but I have heard
some astrology stuff for me that was completely opposite of what happened
later on in the day." "Astrology can be so screwy can't it, Annabelle?"
"Yeah, I don't believe in psychics. I mean, the stuff they tell you doesn't
ever come true. Like, I was told that on my 17th birthday I would start
dating my future husband. I didn't start dating until I was 17 and a half."
"When is your birthday?" "August 19th, 1980. That means I will be 19 soon.
When is your birthday?" "June 10th, 1980." "Cool. We are both summer babies
and we are very close in age." "Yeah, that is cool. We oughta get going
because it is getting late." They gathered up the blanket and headed back
towards the car. Peter hugged Annabelle then kissed her. "Next time, I will
pay." "Annabelle you don't have to do that, I like paying for what you want
to do or what we do together." "I understand I am a girl but I don't need to
be treated special." "But I want to treat you specially." "OK. I guess that
is alright." They got into the car and Peter took Annabelle home and kissed
her goodbye on her front steps. "I'll call you tomorrow Annabelle, is that
okay?" "Yeah sure, that would be great." Peter then made sure she got in
okay and went home to his house and fell asleep dreaming of their date that
night. He woke up the next morning and waited until noon to call Annabelle.
"Hey, meet me at 1 at the park with bread. I'll show you something really
cool." "OK, see you there." At 12:50 she left her house for the 10 minute
walk to the park. When she got to the park she didn't see Peter so she
waited. About 5 minutes later he walked up and said, "Sorry I'm late. I
misjudged when I had to leave my house." "That's quite alright. Now, what
did you want to show me?" "Take the bread and tear it up and throw small
pieces into the lake near the ducks one at a time. They will race to eat the
bread." "Cool!" Annabelle took the bread and did as she was told. "Wow, I
didn't know that. That is really cool." "Annabelle what do you want to do
now?" "Well, I was really craving ice cream." "OK, sure, we can get ice
cream." So they got in Peter's car and drove to McDonald's and Peter ordered
a small strawberry frozen yogurt while Annabelle ordered a medium strawberry
and vanilla twist frozen yogurt. "I really love both strawberry and vanilla.
Why don't we go back to the park and eat our frozen yogurt there?" "That's
okay with me." They drove back to the park and were eating their ice cream
when Peter tried to touch Annabelle. "NO!" "But why?" "I'm not like that and
I promised myself and God that I wouldn't have sex until after marriage."
"So, this isn't sex!" "But if you do this, then you will want to do other
stuff and eventually sex!" cried Annabelle. "OK, I understand your reasons.
I'm sorry." They finished their ice cream then two days later went on a date
to a fancy restaurant where Peter proposed to Annabelle and she said yes.
Peter hugged Annabelle and they finished eating and Peter took her home and
told her to think about wedding plans. When Annabelle got home she went into
her room and started thinking about the color of her dress she wanted to
wear and what she wanted her dress to look like. She knew she wanted to wear
a pale pink dress with matching pale pink heels of exactly the same color.
She also knew that she wanted a v-neck wedding dress. She knew that she
wanted to have her wedding at the park in the field of flowers that had
roses and pansies. She fell asleep dreaming about the wedding and at noon
the next day she called Peter and told him to meet her at North Star so they
could discuss the wedding. They both got there at about the same time and
found a back booth to talk in. "Did you think about wedding plans last
night?" "Oh yes. I want to wear a pale pink dress with the same color for
the heels. I want to wear a v-neck dress and have the wedding in the field
of roses and pansies at the park. How does all of that sound to you?" "That
sounds very nice. I really like the field idea!" "What did you think of last
night?" "Well, I want to wear a black tuxedo and a white shirt, no bow tie
or tie, and I want to wear the tuxedo jacket." "But we have to have all the
stuff specially made because we are dragons." "Well, yeah, all we have to do
is find a tailor who can do the job." "Yeah, that's true." "I also would
have to get my wedding dress specially made for my tail." "Why would you
have to have it specially made?" "To have my tail come out the back, because
if my tail was under the dress then it would be majorly uncomfortable!" "OK.
Well, I will look for the tailor, you just worry about how you want your
dress to look." "OK, let's do that then, I have a good idea how I want it to
look but I am not sure of the exact pink color." "Just choose a nice pink
color to go with your scales and don't forget to use your scale cream so
that you don't get scale flakes on the dress." "Sure, I'll do that. I think
I will go home to think about the dress some more." They walked out
together. "Do you want a ride home?" "No thanks, I want the exercise." "OK,
that's okay with me, just be safe." "I'll call you when I get home then."
"OK, sure." Annabelle left after Peter got in his blue convertible and drove
off. She walked home slowly as to give Peter enough time to get home and to
think about how she wanted her dress to look. She got home about one hour
later and called Peter to tell him she was home. "What took you so long? I
was worried." "Sorry, I was walking slowly to give you time to get home and
also to think about my dress." "Oh ok, that's cool." "Good. I still haven't
decided what I want on the dress but I have an idea of the color." "That's
good, I'll let you go so you can think some more." "Thanks, bye." "Bye, love
ya." Annabelle and Peter hung up and Annabelle thought some more about her
dress. She decided she wanted it to have a small bow in the back and lace
sleeves. She decided to have a small rose at the bottom of the v-neck in
order to draw attention to the dress. Annabelle called Peter and said, "I've
thought about my dress." "What did you decide?" "I want it to have a small
bow in the back and lace sleeves and I want to have a small rose at the
bottom of the v-neck." "That sounds very pretty! If you haven't already told
them, why don't you call your parents and tell them you are getting
married." "Well, I have a problem with that." "How come?" "My parents died
in a car crash when I was 5 years old and I was raised by my grandma until I
moved into my current house." "Oh, I'm sorry." "It's alright, I'm used to
it." "Well, call your grandma then and tell her." "That's a good idea." "OK,
well do that." "Well, I can just walk to her house and tell her because she
lives really nearby." "I'll let you go. Bye." "Bye." Annabelle and Peter
hung up and Annabelle grabbed her keys and walked out and locked her door
and walked to her grandmother's house. When she got there she knocked on the
door and when her grandma opened the door she hugged her and said, "Guess
what!" "What dear?" "I'm getting married. I'm engaged to this really nice
guy named Peter. Do you want to meet him?" "Of course, dear." "Can I use
your phone then?" "Sure." Annabelle picked up her grandma's phone and called
Peter's house. "Hey Peter, can you meet me at the North Star?" "Sure, how
about at 1?" "OK, see ya then." Annabelle and Peter hung up and Annabelle
turned to her grandmother and said, "We are to meet him at the North Star at
1." "We should start walking then." Annabelle ran and got her grandmas shawl
even though it was late April. They walked out the door and locked it behind
them and started their walk to the North Star. "Grandma, I'm really glad you
want to meet Peter." "I really do want to meet him but, why didn't you tell
him I was coming?" "I didn't want to make him nervous." "That's always a
good reason." "Yeah." They got to the North Star in the next few minutes and
got a back booth and waited for Peter. Peter walked in several minutes later
and was surprised that Annabelle had someone with her. Peter walked up and
said, "Who is this?" "My grandma." "Oh, hi! It's so nice to meet you. You
have a very nice and pretty granddaughter." "Why thank you, I always tried
to raise her right and apparently I did a very good job because she seems to
be marrying a very nice man." "Why, thank you!" "Would you like some
coffee?" "Sure, Annabelle whatever you order I will order too." "Well, I
order Milky Way. It tastes pretty much like the Milky Way candy bar." "That
sounds good. I'll take that, then." Peter waved, for the waiter and said,
"Two Milky Ways and 1 frappachino." "Your order should be ready in about 5
minutes." "Thank you sir." While they waited for their coffee, they sat and
talk about the upcoming wedding. "When are you planning on having it?" "We
are not sure yet," answered Peter. "What are both of you planning to wear?"
"I'm going to be wearing a pale pink dress with pale pink shoes. The dress
will have a small bow in the back and a v-neck with a rose at the bottom of
the v-neck. It also will have sleeves of lace." "That sounds pretty. What
will you be wearing Peter?" "I will be wearing a black tuxedo with a white
shirt. It will also have a hole for my tail and Annabelle's dress will have
a hole for her tail." "Sounds nice. Where are you having the wedding?" "We
are having it at the park near my house in the field of roses and pansies
that is near the water." "Very nice, but what will you serve for the
guests?" "Duck from the lake that I will cook with my fiery breath." "Very
nice choice." "Thanks, I should be going now because I have some stuff to do
at home." "OK. Annabelle should probably get some rest because she is really
excited about the wedding, aren't you dear?" "Yes." Peter, Annabelle and
Annabelle's grandmother all left at the same time and Peter got in his blue
convertible while Annabelle and her grandmother started walking home. "What
do you want me to do for the wedding?" "Well, since you are a good artist,
why don't you draw what will go on front of the invitations and write what
you think should be put in the invitations." "That will be fun." "Yeah, I
figured you were the best one to do it." "I'd love to do it. You just worry
about your dress and who you want to invite." Annabelle and her grandma
reached her grandma's house and Annabelle kissed her goodbye and continued
her walk home. When she got home she called her friend Jessica. "Hey
Jessica." "Hey what's up?" "Not much really but I have great news." "What?"
"I'm getting married." "Oooh... to who?" "A guy named Peter Martin." "Oh,
neat, Annabelle Martin. That's a good combination. If it is a good
combination than you chose a good guy." "I know I picked a good guy because
he treats me like I want to be treated." "That's great!" "Why don't you call
Mike and tell him what's happening?" "Sure, I'll do that." "I still have to
decide who I am going to invite to the wedding." "That will be fun deciding.
You also need to find a preacher." "Oh, no! We forgot about a preacher. We
still haven't set the date yet." "Oh, ok. Well, I'll let you go." "Bye!"
"Bye." Annabelle and Jessica hung up and Annabelle laid down to take a nap.
She didn't wake up until the phone rang. "Hello?" she said in a sleepy
voice. "Annabelle, I'm sorry I woke you up!" "It's alright." "I was
thinking. Why don't we have the wedding at 2 pm on May 15th?" "That would be
good. We need to tell grandma that and get our outfits made and call a
pastor and tell him when and where the wedding is." "OK, I'll take care of
the tailor and our outfits, I will also take care of the pastor, you just
tell grandma when and where the wedding is." "Okay, I will do that." "Bye."
"Bye." They hung up and Peter first called the pastor and told him when and
where the wedding would be held. Next, he got in his car and went to the
tailor downtown and described what he wanted done. "Well, you two will need
to come be measured tomorrow for your suit and dress." "OK, I'll have to
tell Annabelle." "Thank you sir. Have a good day and see you tomorrow."
Peter walked out and went home and went to bed for the night. While he was
sleeping, he dreamt of Annabelle's pretty hair, face, and smile. He also
dreamt about how grand their wedding would be. The next day Peter called
Annabelle and said that he would pick her up. About 30 minutes later Peter
drove up and honked his horn. Annabelle came running out and got in the car.
Peter headed for the tailors so they could get measured for their outfits.
They got to the tailors and were measured. "Your suit and dress will be
ready on May 9th." "Oh, good. That's plenty of time before the wedding just
in case something happens." May 9th came and Peter and Annabelle went to the
tailors and got their outfits. They went home and hung them up in their
closets and waited for May 15th to come. On May 15th, a white limo picked
Annabelle up at 1:45 and drove her to the lake. When they got to the lake
she went to where she was to dress and started getting dressed. At about 2
she came out to take her place. She watched her grandfather walk up next to
her almost crying. "Oh grandpa, don't cry." "But you look so pretty dear."
"Thanks." The music started and Annabelle's grandfather walked her down the
aisle to give her away. Peter stood there watching his beautiful bride
coming down the aisle. Annabelle stopped where she was and Peter came to
stand next to her with tears in his eyes. "Baby, don't cry." "I'm just happy
that I'm marrying you and that you look so pretty." The pastor then started
reading their vows and when the vows were finished you heard clearly through
out the field, "I do." and "I do too." Peter ran down to the lake and
grabbed 10 ducks and cooked them with his fiery breath. The ducks were put
on a table and the dragon guests started grabbing at the ducks to get what
they wanted before all the ducks were gone. At about 7 pm that night they
all went to a dance place and celebrated the new wedding by dancing until 2
am on May 16th, 1999. Everyone went home exhausted but very happy. The next
day Peter and Annabelle discussed living plans. Annabelle wondered where
Peter lived so he picked her up and took her back to his house. She found
out he really lived in a mansion. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't want
you to marry me for money." "I wouldn't have done that. Can I move into your
place?" "Of course!" Peter called some movers and explained what was to be
done. "OK, we are all set. The movers will be here tomorrow at 3 pm. They
went and had dinner then Annabelle went back to Peter's house to find out
the layout and that night she broke her pledge to God which was okay because
she was officially married. The next day Peter and Annabelle went to
Annabelle's house and let the movers move her stuff out. When they were
done, Peter and Annabelle got in his car and led the movers to Peters house
and let the movers move Annabelle's stuff into the house. It took the movers
a couple of hours but they were finally done. Then, after the movers left,
Peter and Annabelle went in and started unpacking her stuff and putting it
where it belonged. At about 10pm that night they retired to bed in the same
room. "Gosh, it sure does feel different sleeping next to someone instead of
sleeping by myself." "You'll get used to it." "Oh, I'm really sure I will."
Annabelle hugged Peter and laid her head on his chest. Peter began stroking
her hair and Annabelle stiffened. "What's wrong?" "Nothing I just didn't
expect that." "Oh, ok you don't mind that right?" "Nope." So Peter went back
to stroking her hair and Annabelle fell asleep dreaming about her nice new
husband. Peter fell asleep soon after and also dreamt of Annabelle. The next
morning when they awoke they told each other about their dreams and found
out they were the same. "Wow, that's a big coincidence!" "Yeah I know
Annabelle, it really is strange that we had the exact same dream." "Maybe we
have that mind bridge thing going on, you know?" "Yeah that could be true!"
"That would be so cool." "I might have to start sewing baby things." "Why?"
"Well, because I might be pregnant because of what we did the other night."
"Oh, ok. You don't have to make the stuff, we'll just go buy it." So
Annabelle and Peter went downtown to a baby store and bought 4 newborn
outfits for male and female. They had 8 outfits in all. About two months
later a baby girl was born. "What should we name her?" "How about Anastasia
Elizabeth?" "That's a very pretty name, Annabelle." "Then that is her name.
Anastasia Elizabeth." "Waaaaah!" Annabelle ran for the new baby and started
rocking her. "I wonder what she wants." "Try feeding her." "OK, I'll try
that." Annabelle started feeding Anastasia and she stopped crying. "Yes, she
was hungry." Annabelle rocked her some after she was done feeding her,
burped her, and put her down for a nap. "Sweet silence, Peter. You remember
before Anastasia was born how it was always quiet when we went out?" "Well,
yeah." "Now, if we can't get a baby-sitter to watch Anastasia we'll have to
take her with us." "What about your grandma?" "She's a little old to be
taking care of a fussy young dragon." "Oh, I see." "Yeah, now let's hope she
sleeps for a couple of hours instead of just one like she did for her last
nap." "Why don't we take a nap while she takes one?" "That's a good idea
Peter, being a new mommy has worn me out and I bet it's worn you out too."
"Yeah, it has." Peter and Annabelle went into the bedroom and fell asleep
and woke up 4 hours later when Anastasia finally woke up. "Being a new
dragon must have worn her out too!" "Yeah." "Ow" "What, Annabelle?" "I don't
know but it feels like what it felt like before Anastasia was born!" "Oh,
boy twins." Annabelle gave birth to Anastasia's twin brother than died
because she bled to death because of her little boys' birth. "Oh Annabelle,
you died during birth to our second child! I'm so sorry!" He hugged her limp
body and burst into tears. "Daddy, what happened to mommy?" "She died giving
birth to your little brother, I'm sorry sweety!" Anastasia burst into tears
and her daddy hugged her. "We will just have to learn to live without mommy
and hope we do okay." "OK daddy." Peter called the ambulance people and they
came and took Annabelle away to the hospital. Peter started cleaning up
Michael then fixed both of the kids lunch. Everyday he learned something new
about how to take care of the kids. He watched his kids grow up, start
preschool, start kindergarten, junior high, highschool then watched them
both get married. One day his oldest started preschool. "Daddy, I don't want
to go." "If you don't go you won't have fun with other children, you won't
get a good job and you are less likely to get married." "OK daddy I will go
but dry your tears, give me a hug and wish me well." Her daddy dryed both of
their eyes then gave her a hug and she went off to preschool and had fun
playing with the other children and even met another dragon that she thought
was cute and kissed him and came home and said, "Daddy I kissed a cute boy
dragon today." "Did he mind?" "Oh no! He kissed back." "That's good to
know." When his oldest started kindergarten she was still with the guy she
had kissed in preschool. Peter's son Michael started preschool that year and
found himself a cute dragon girl. At about the time they started junior high
they had gotten to know their life-long mates really well and could tell
their next words or actions easily. Then at the start of 9th grade,
Anastasia's boyfriend proposed to her and she said yes. It wasn't until
Michael was in 11th when he popped the question to his girlfriend. As soon
as the two children graduated from highschool they got married. Anastasia
and Roger had 3 children named, Lisa, Kayla and Roberta. Michael and Renee
had 4 children named Jennifer, Katey, Anthony and Russ. Lisa and Kayla were
twins born on September 9th and Roberta was born on December 25th. Jennifer,
Katey, Anthony and Russ were quadruplets born on October 16th.
--
Earn money in an hour or less!
http://www.mysimplesystem.com/d.cgi/134372
Andrea Morgan
Ian Firth
--
Regards,
Ian Firth
wisdom
"Andrea Morgan" <amm...@flash.net> wrote in message
news:n9M76.3319$J%.350339@news.flash.net...
> I wrote this story 2 years ago in the 8th grade. It is a little long.
> Please leave comments.
>
> Once upon a time in the land of Morigia,
cliche
> Annabelle the dragon was walking
> along picking red roses and white roses and purple and yellow pansies.
delet "and"s and insert commas as appropriate
> She
> was startled by the cry of a blue jay who was angry at a squirrel for
taking
> a nut she had picked up.
sentance is confusing, perhaps too long, and the last 'she' seems to refer
to Annabelle, or is it the squirrel, it's called 'pronoun ambiguity'
> Annabelle looked around and saw a really handsome
> dragon guy.
thats nice but what the hell happened with the blue jay and squirrel?
don't toy with your reader like that
if the blue-jay/squirrel thing isn't important to the story (and it doesn't
apear to be) then delete it
> The dragon guy walked over to her and said hi. "Hi," she said.
> "Well, for such a pretty girl you must have a pretty name.""Well, at times
> I don't think my name is very pretty, but it is Annabelle." "That's a very
> pretty name and very unusual, you should be proud of your name." "Well, at
> lots of times, I am." "Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm
quotes by different charachters should be in different paragraphs.
dialoge seems forced
sorry, no time for more comments, you'll have to go over it yourself.
--wisdom
AQE NFDY
Gerald Hornsby
Didn't bother reading it. Please don't fill up my news server space with
posts of your work. Please see newsgroup etiquete. If you want people to
read your stuff, please upload it to a website, and provide a link in your
(short) posting. On the other hand, don't bother.
Grumpy Gerald, missing his Pizza
Pizza
<93tstu$bus$1...@uranium.btinternet.com>:
Yer well you're grumpy all right. You don't beat around the bush so much
as beat the subject around the head. That's not all negative, but you say
exactly what you mean and I like that.
Morigia is what I'd call Americana... Not to be offensive to those who
reside in the USA, but the work has a style that to me is immediately
recognisable as US. For example, if a person began a story with 'what ho'
chaps, cup of tea, eh what?' you may sort of understand what I'm getting
at.
Fantasy stories that have a distinctive national bias, I don't enjoy. In
films I don't enjoy it either. Bruce Willis films and their ilk, for me,
get around this quite easily.
Pizza. (off-topic again at england.writing)
Aragorn
news:942kae$4fl$2...@uranium.btinternet.com...
> Morigia is what I'd call Americana... Not to be offensive to those who
> reside in the USA, but the work has a style that to me is immediately
> recognisable as US. For example, if a person began a story with 'what ho'
> chaps, cup of tea, eh what?' you may sort of understand what I'm getting
> at.
>
> Fantasy stories that have a distinctive national bias, I don't enjoy. In
> films I don't enjoy it either. Bruce Willis films and their ilk, for me,
> get around this quite easily.
>
> Pizza. (off-topic again at england.writing)
Pizza is what I'd like to call a bigot. This is "recognisable" by his
lack of tolerance for "Americana[s]". I do not see a distinct national bias
other than his own.
>
>
>
>
>
Gerald Hornsby
Aragorn wrote in message ...
Sorry, I see no lack of tolerance from this side of the pond. Pizza merely
said that it was recognisable. I'm afraid bad writing is bad writing, and
there is bad and boring writing (especially on the web, where everyone has a
voice) in the UK, the US, and other parts of the world (are there any other
parts of the world ?)
You see, now I bet I'm going to be accused of being a bigot. Hey hoy, can't
win.
Gerald, thinking that a bigot is where you get water from
Ron Sparks
Andrea - congratulations on your decision to write. Your excitement and
exuberance are pleasant to see. It is unacceptable, however, to fill a
newsgroup with your writings. I like to discuss ideas, topics, plot
development and character creation. What I do not like to do is waste time
downloading a story of yours that I have no intention of reading.
I do not want to wade through your every little post and watch you grow, or
fail to grow, as a writer. You do not engage my curiosity when you do this.
You merely push yourself unasked upon all of us here and want us to comment
on how good a writer you are.
And yet you get upset by the criticism you get - retorting with statements
like "I'm in junior high school." You came here, posted your dirty
underwear (for that is what an unfinished story is) and got irate when
someone did not give you flattering feedback.
If you ask for feedback, do not be surprised or upset when you get it. No
one here knows or cares if you are in junior high school or if you are a
graduate student at some prestigious college. You will be treated just like
any of us - honestly and forthright. You can accept that and live with it,
or continue to get irate and leave the group with some ego-saving
name-calling.
Now please, do not continue posting story after story. Like the boy who
called wolf - you will find yourself ignored by many fine people here who
might actually have something constructive to say. Get free webspace at
geocities or something and put your stories there. Invite us to go and read
them. People who are interested will and those of us with no desire to read
your stories will not have to suffer a needless download clogging the
newsgroup space.
If you notice, I have a tagline on my signature - asking people to read the
stories on my website. I do not post my stories here. I come here for
discussion of writing. I do not publish anything here and neither should
you.
Best of luck to you.
Ron Sparks
http://www.gate.net/~rsparks/stories/
Aragorn
"Gerald Hornsby" <Geran...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:94au26$g2g$1...@neptunium.btinternet.com...
>
> Sorry, I see no lack of tolerance from this side of the pond.
"Morigia is what I'd call Americana" -- Pizza
>Pizza merely said that it was recognisable. I'm afraid bad writing is bad
writing, and
> there is bad and boring writing (especially on the web, where everyone has
a
> voice) in the UK, the US, and other parts of the world (are there any
other
> parts of the world ?)
I think it's fine that he doesn't like nationally biased work, but I
have some patriotic tendencies. Associate the word with "Americana" with
something negative, and I will be offended. Nonetheless, I apologize to
Pizza for my jumping on him like that. I probably mis-inferred his
intentions.
> You see, now I bet I'm going to be accused of being a bigot. Hey hoy,
can't
> win.
With some, perhaps not. But I'm not that stubborn.
>
> Gerald, thinking that a bigot is where you get water from
>
Isn't it?
Pizza
<A4pa6.131881$_G5.18...@typhoon.nyroc.rr.com>:
Yer, I should've put a bit more information down re 'Americana,' but it
certainly wasn't meant to be offensive which I hoped that I'd made clear, but
for Aragorn I obviously hadn't.
Pizza.
Andrea Morgan
----------
In article <4s7a6.19053$eh.2...@e420r-sjo2.usenetserver.com>, "Ron Sparks"
Ron Sparks
Why are you sorry? If I am mistaken, I apologize. I distinctly remember a
posting by you stating something about a junior high school teacher reading
your work. If I was mistaken, I apologize. It doesn't invalidate any of my
earlier points, however.
--
Ron Sparks
http://www.gate.net/~rsparks/stories/
Gerald Hornsby
Ron Sparks wrote in message ...
Shouldn't young-ish Andrea get her own newsgroup ? I'm sure she could
support one all on her own.
Gerald
P.S. When are we going to get "Beginnings of a story-ReWrite #5" ? I can
hardly wait - I've been suffering from a bit of insomnia lately.
Pizza
Lol, best one yet.:j
Pizza.
Andrea Morgan
----------
In article <Th5b6.34$24....@e420r-atl2.usenetserver.com>, "Ron Sparks"
Theresa
learn!
Never fear Andrea! I'd pay little attention to those whose spelling and
grammar are no better than yours.
Wisdom... Please, do us all a favor, buy yourself a dictionary.
Theresa
"wisdom" <logo...@home.com> wrote in message
news:0SS76.259142$U46.8...@news1.sttls1.wa.home.com...
Ron Sparks
> grammar are no better than yours.
>
> Wisdom... Please, do us all a favor, buy yourself a dictionary.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is quite so pathetic in a newsgroup as a
self-appointed Spelling and Grammar Nazi.
Non-quantitative comments like that show not only your lack of
sophistication, but also your ignorance or disregard of normal newsgroup
etiquette. It is generally understood that, in a newsgroup, a person is
posting a response quickly before moving on to the next. Little time is
given to spelling errors, so long as they are not so ubiquitous that they
detract from or make difficult the meaning of the text being typed.
Personally, I agree with you. At a minimum, all posts should be run through
a spell-checker. I also understand that no everyone has a news reader with
a spell checker. Additionally, I would not expect a person in this group to
spend the same amount of time double-checking a newsgroup posting that they
do with a story they write.
So, by definition, your argument falls apart here. It should be assumed
that Andrea spent a substantial amount of time doing the best she could to
grammar-check and spell-check her document. Further, it can be assumed that
Wisdom did not spend a significant part of his/her time double-checking a
mere newsgroup posting.
If, in your eyes, the two are equally bad then it logically follows that
Andrea is the worse writer.
I like your attitude. We need strong opinions here. Do yourself a favor
and try to use logic in your arguments and pick better topics than spelling
to raise issues over.
--
Ron Sparks
Cyber-Thoughts - Home of Interactive Fiction
http://www.gate.net/~rsparks/stories/
Theresa
My post was relative to one I posted to "Wisdom" and his/her slashings of
another's work. I simply feel that if you are going to trash someone's
writing, you should at the very least be able to spell simple words.
Otherwise, you have no business telling another how or what to write.
I am talking about a person who misspells "sentence" and "replied." How can
you consider yourself any type of writer if you can't get those right?
Probably the kind who expect their editor to fix all of their spelling and
grammar. Please note, it is only a typo if it is misspelled once. You are
just plain spelling it wrong if you misspell it *three times* in one post!
I wouldn't attack someone for a simple typo.
I have very little regard for those who are so quick to slash when they
don't even care about spelling.
What I intended for Andrea to get out of my comment was that she should not
get upset by such a person ripping up her story.
I happen to agree with you that people should *not* post their work here. I
have yet to see any such posting worth finishing.
Call me a Nazi if it so pleases you, darling. Yes, I am sarcastic,
sometimes snide... though I must say, I am somewhat proud to be just that.
Theresa
"Ron Sparks" <rsp...@gate.net> wrote in message
news:Qtfq6.85136$sD.55...@e420r-sjo2.usenetserver.com...
Theresa
Theresanews:94nlr0$8bm$1...@neptunium.btinternet.com...
logos petasatus
"Theresa" <some...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:UJeq6.1955$Pq3.2...@typhoon.tampabay.rr.com...
> Alas, here we go again... The blind leading the innocent with
the urge to
> learn!
>
> Never fear Andrea! I'd pay little attention to those whose
spelling and
> grammar are no better than yours.
>
> Wisdom... Please, do us all a favor, buy yourself a dictionary.
You mispelled the second word of your response.
And you call yourself a writter.
"Theresa" <some...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:wJ6q6.3$Q73....@typhoon.tampabay.rr.com...
> I pesonally would not take much heed to the advice of a
"writer" who
> apparently cannot even spell.
logos petasatus
> My post was relative to one I posted to "Wisdom" and his/her
slashings of
> another's work.
How do you know I trashed it?
you yourself stated that you didn't really read my responses.
To quote you "And I barely read your comments."
> I have very little regard for those who are so quick to slash
when they
> don't even care about spelling.
You slashed my post without reading it, and made a spelling error
in it as well.
Pesonally, I think that's an example of the pot calling the
kettle black?
> What I intended for Andrea to get out of my comment was that
she should not
> get upset by such a person ripping up her story.
I didn't rip it up
where andrea wrote:
> > Annabelle the dragon was walking
> > along picking red roses and white roses and purple and yellow
pansies.
I responded:
> delet "and"s and insert commas as appropriate.
Sure, missed an e on delete, but I was in a hurry.
And if you're so concerned about the welfare of Andrea,
then take the time critique her work like she asked.
You didn't critique it, you just launched into some infantile
tirade on my response.
> I happen to agree with you that people should *not* post their
work here. I
> have yet to see any such posting worth finishing.
Then post something.
Do something about the problem instead of adding to it.
/soph
AQE NFDY
Ron Sparks
can
> you consider yourself any type of writer if you can't get those right?
> Probably the kind who expect their editor to fix all of their spelling and
> grammar. Please note, it is only a typo if it is misspelled once. You are
> just plain spelling it wrong if you misspell it *three times* in one post!
> I wouldn't attack someone for a simple typo.
>
> I have very little regard for those who are so quick to slash when they
> don't even care about spelling.
I can understand the sentiment and even agree with it to a greater extent.
I like criticism from a conscientious critic. A critic who does not bother
to clean up his work and shows me instead the equivalent of dirty underwear
is not necessarily a critic I would pay much heed to.
After twelve years on Fido and Usenet newsgroups, though, I have learned
that some of the brightest people I know are atrocious spellers. So I do
not give too much argument to bad spelling as long as the meaning of the
post is discernable.
After all, the easiest target for any newsgroup flame war is the infamous
"Spelling and Grammar Nazi." People will rally behind anyone who takes a
stance against the Nazi. The Nazi is branded as an ineffective critic with
nothing more substantial to comment on.
We were taught as children to be conscientious with what we write. To
double-check what was write because words last much, much longer than
anything you say (unless you are a public figure). The internet has changed
that, though. Just as we give little thought in day-to-day speech to proper
sentence structure, we give little regard to proper spelling and grammar in
newsgroups. Newsgroups are informal conversations, just like conversation,
and many of the same tolerances we give spoken language must be afforded
those who post here.
People just do not talk formally and with stilted language (except maybe me)
in conversation. People make mistakes, they stutter, and they often use the
wrong word as some benign form of aphasia causes them to forget at a
critical moment the exact word they want to use. Newsgroups are no
different.
However, if someone comes in here and posts a story that is riddled with
problems of spelling and grammar, I do get my feathers ruffled. That means
that the author did not do the due diligence necessary to ensure, at a
minimum, that a story they want to publish is correct in the most basic
ways. That is unforgivable. The key is to not take that attitude with
everyday postings in the group.
Hence my reason for suggesting that we should all (not just you) drop the
Spelling Gestapo routine and find something a lot more interesting to debate
and argue.
Ron Sparks
if the closet Nazi's in the room can identify them. Have fun!
Bobby Varner
spells something, i certainly dont. I think people want feed back on their,
writing technique, such as how the sentences flow or if their dead, how many
adverbs need to be taken out etc. Jesus Christ , this is a learning forum
not a speeling bee. if it ruffles your feathers because someone miss spells
a word or doesnt put a coma in the right place. then that's your problem not
anyone elses, if you dont like it dont read it. I was labled a "Troll" by
Opus [:> for starting a "Dissing"
session, such as the one going on now. Look's like im not the only Troll
that learks these dark woods.
Oh and by the way i didnt check, not one piece of grammer on this, hell i
might have just misspelled somethings on purpose.
Patti H.
that anyone who tries to attack someone else's spelling manages to
misspell a word in the attack. :-)
Ron Sparks
> that anyone who tries to attack someone else's spelling manages to
> misspell a word in the attack. :-)
O'Toole's Addendum to Murphy's Law:
MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST.
'nuff said.
RickC
news:98ejlh$9n6$1...@slb5.atl.mindspring.net...
GrandMa-tical airs and such shtuff for effect (comic or otherwise).
Beginning writers (myself included) tend to have such a hard time figuring
out what to say, that when they do, they're so ecstatic about their major
accomplishment that they don't go back and look at what they wrote.
Sometimes, it's simply beginners' enthusiasm. Other times, it may be
superstition (don't jinx it by second-guessing yourself).
It's a simple fact that writing, like any skill, requires practice to get
better, and feedback to let you know you are on the right or wrong
path to improvement.
Once you have gone through the wringer a few times - not only getting
your work critiqued, but critiquing others adequately, you become your
own worst enemy. You edit everything you write as you write it. This
can severely hamper your creative streak if you don't handle it well.
For instance, there are a few places in the above comments that could
be edited for structure, punctuation, verb tense, or word choice.
I chose to keep on going so I could finish this before the pizza arrives.
Just have patience - with yourself, and with those around you. We can
all benefit.
The best thing you can do is to join a writing group in person. You can
hear someone else read your work in a different voice, learn the basics
of punctuation, paragraphing, and everything else that could use some
improvement.
You will probably find at least one Spelling Nazi in the group, and that
is good. You may also find a Plot Policeman, an Image Enhancer, and
a Character Critic, among others. Everyone has strengths and areas
of improvement. Joined together, you all get better.
--
Rick Carlson (ICQ 779394)
Author of "The Adventures of Danger Dave, Galactic Hero"
http://www.danger-dave.com mailto:redd...@danger-dave.com
Ron Sparks
> of improvement. Joined together, you all get better.
This is where I disagree. Joined together, we usually end up making an
ineffectual committee that couldn't agree which is the ass and which is the
hole in the ground.
Writer's are too individualistic and prideful to work together as a group
under most circumstances. Writing groups are wonderful things if you can
truly get that right mix of skill, talent, and people willing to work for
the group as a whole. I'm betting that it fails or hinders more often than
not. But then, I'm a natural cynic.
Bobby Varner
i agree with you i should have sent Mr. Sparks and e-mail himself. Pratice
what you preach and e-mail me if you want to have a dissing session.Further
more, I didnt say it didnt matter if an aspiring writer could spell. go back
and re-read my post,
and if your not literate enough to understand the meaning i'll explain. what
was meant by the statement was that when people post there "Drafts"
notice i use the word "Drafts" That's exactly what it is. Even Stephen king
miss spells words. My ponit is, When someone goes back to re-write the
story, hopefully they will catch the misspellings. Critique something worth
while. people are so quick to point out miss spelled words and not the
structure of the story it's self. besides who in the fuck made you an
"EDITOR" your just a comic/ actor/ writer/ damn you just eveything. people
usally change jobs when there not good a something. oh a BTW ...
If you're going to ascribe
words to me, at least get them correct.
Bobby Varner
you would like to "Address" through e-mail, that would be fine. Im sure
everyone is tired of reading your Diarrhea that you so elloquently spew
forth on this board.
Gerald Hornsby
Ron Sparks wrote in message ...
>can
>> you consider yourself any type of writer if you can't get those right?
>> Probably the kind who expect their editor to fix all of their spelling
and
>> grammar. Please note, it is only a typo if it is misspelled once. You
are
>> just plain spelling it wrong if you misspell it *three times* in one
post!
>> I wouldn't attack someone for a simple typo.
>>
>> I have very little regard for those who are so quick to slash when they
>> don't even care about spelling.
>
>I can understand the sentiment and even agree with it to a greater extent.
>I like criticism from a conscientious critic. A critic who does not bother
>to clean up his work and shows me instead the equivalent of dirty underwear
>is not necessarily a critic I would pay much heed to.
Clumsy last sentence - try :
A critic who does not bother to clean up his work, and shows me instead the
equivalent of dirty underwear,
is not necessarily a critic I would pay much heed to.
<added two commas>
>
>After twelve years on Fido and Usenet newsgroups, though, I have learned
>that some of the brightest people I know are atrocious spellers. So I do
>not give too much argument to bad spelling as long as the meaning of the
>post is discernable.
>
>After all, the easiest target for any newsgroup flame war is the infamous
>"Spelling and Grammar Nazi." People will rally behind anyone who takes a
>stance against the Nazi. The Nazi is branded as an ineffective critic with
>nothing more substantial to comment on.
>
>We were taught as children to be conscientious with what we write. To
>double-check what was write
right ? written ?
>because words last much, much longer than
>anything you say (unless you are a public figure). The internet has
changed
>that, though. Just as we give little thought in day-to-day speech to
proper
>sentence structure, we give little regard to proper spelling and grammar in
>newsgroups. Newsgroups are informal conversations, just like conversation,
need to differentiate the two conversations - try :
just like verbal conversations,
>and many of the same tolerances we give spoken language must be afforded
>those who post here.
>
>People just do not talk formally and with stilted language (except maybe
me)
>in conversation.
the parenthesised aside should come at the end of the sentence
>People make mistakes, they stutter, and they often use the
>wrong word as some benign form of aphasia causes them to forget at a
>critical moment the exact word they want to use. Newsgroups are no
>different.
same - try ... forget, at a critical moment, ....
or put the "at a critical moment" at the end of the sentence
>
>However, if someone comes in here and posts a story that is riddled with
>problems of spelling and grammar, I do get my feathers ruffled.
does that mean you ruffle your own feathers ? Shouldn't the bad writing
ruffle them ?
>That means
>that the author did not do the due diligence necessary to ensure, at a
>minimum, that a story they want to publish is correct in the most basic
>ways.
authors "doing" the due diligence ? Should they "do the due diligence thing
(man)" ? Or probably "apply the due diligence", or "apply due diligence".
Although diligence is what is used when actually performing the action,
whereas I would have thought a check on spelling and grammar would have
occurred afterwards.
>That is unforgivable. The key is to not take that attitude with
>everyday postings in the group.
>
>Hence my reason for suggesting that we should all (not just you) drop the
>Spelling Gestapo routine and find something a lot more interesting to
debate
>and argue.
>
>
>--
>Ron Sparks
>http://www.gate.net/~rsparks/stories/
>
On the whole, Ron, not a bad effort. But you vill do better next time,
schweinhund.
Gerald, thinking that the black leather boots actually look quite fetching
P.S. You did offer the challenge, and no one else could be bothered (or
actually saw anything wrong in the first place ?).
Mark Tumilty
Ron Sparks <rsp...@gate.net> wrote in message
news:6ftq6.92728$sD.61...@e420r-sjo2.usenetserver.com...
Mark Tumilty
not offensive.
Mark Tumilty <mtum...@somedarkcorner.com> wrote in message
news:992p7j$h7t$1...@newsg3.svr.pol.co.uk...
Ron Sparks
> not offensive.
Hence the emoticon (shown below). Thanks for the extra-sensitivity; our
politically correct, blameless society seems to need it, but I don't.
> > You troll, you ;-)
Peace,
--
Ron Sparks
Cyber-Thoughts - Home of Interactive Fiction
http://www.iscifistory.com/cyberthoughts