Quaking on the edge of a dream
morp...@dreamcircle.com
the mantlepiece above the fireplace, turns to face the crowd and
proceeds to speak for her human counterpart as if for herself.
"Hello everyone!"
Long story short: I finally have bought an RV and I plan to live in it
full-time. Since I was a kid, I has always wanted to live on wheels.
I even dreamed about it... always wanted to know what it was like.
Now I am about 3 weeks away from moving into my new portable
apartment... and I can't believe my own reaction to it...
It's kinda like being a diver who trained forever for the Olympics or
somesuch great competition-event, and now one is right at the edge of
the board, the crowd is waiting, everything is ready...
...and suddenly inside one suddenly feels like a total chicken all of a
sudden, as in: "WHAT AM I DOING??? THAT WATER IS *COLD* DOWN THERE!!!
LET ME TURN AROUND AND GET ME OFF THIS BOARD!!!! LET ME JUST GO HOME AND
CURL UP AND HIDE AND WATCH BAD SITCOMS AND STUFF MYSELF WITH OREOS AND
JUNK FOOD AND WE'LL ALL JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS, OKAY???
AAAAIIIEEE!! HELLLLPP!!!"
Good lord... if anyone else ever dealt with this, I'd like to hear it!
I have set it up so that I now really have no choice but to go for it...
financially, it just can't work otherwise and I have already given
notice to the landlord. So I am going. But this wanna-be-a-chicken
feeling is driving me nutzoid! :-/
Morphbird
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Benjamin A. Okopnik
<P&E>
In alt.callahans, morp...@dreamcircle.com wrote:
>
>Long story short: I finally have bought an RV and I plan to live in it
>full-time. Since I was a kid, I has always wanted to live on wheels.
>I even dreamed about it... always wanted to know what it was like.
Congratulations!
>...and suddenly inside one suddenly feels like a total chicken all of a
>sudden, as in: "WHAT AM I DOING??? THAT WATER IS *COLD* DOWN THERE!!!
>LET ME TURN AROUND AND GET ME OFF THIS BOARD!!!! LET ME JUST GO HOME AND
>CURL UP AND HIDE AND WATCH BAD SITCOMS AND STUFF MYSELF WITH OREOS AND
>JUNK FOOD AND WE'LL ALL JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS, OKAY???
>AAAAIIIEEE!! HELLLLPP!!!"
>
>Good lord... if anyone else ever dealt with this, I'd like to hear it!
>I have set it up so that I now really have no choice but to go for it...
>financially, it just can't work otherwise and I have already given
>notice to the landlord. So I am going. But this wanna-be-a-chicken
>feeling is driving me nutzoid! :-/
I went through much the same thing back in the early 90s, except
that I moved onto a boat. More than that: I gave up my job, left
the area where I'd been living for a few years, all the friends
that I'd made there... and went cruising, without the slightest
sense of what it was like. Oh, I'd read books by people who had
gone cruising; most of them tended to start with "So, we told
our banker to expect bills from strange places, and found tenants
for our house..." <LOL> I had $2500 in pocket and no property other
than my boat.
So, what was I doing? Believe it or not, living my dream. It *was*
a very scary proposition, heading off into the unknown - but what
was far more scary, to me, was staying and doing the same boring
9-5 crap for the rest of my life. So - I went sailing... and it's
proven to be more satisfying, more rewarding than I even expected
it to be.
The point of all of the above? You're changing your life, trying
out your dreams. *YES,* it's scary. You know what? You just get to
live with that - because that's part of the price for living your
dreams. The `safe' option, the one that you were smart enough to
deny yourself, is the choice to be dead - shut off your mind, close
your ears, ignore the voice inside yourself that's screaming for
freedom and choice... might as well go the nearest cemetery, lie
down, and hope for some kind soul to toss on a couple of shovels
full.
<Smile> Listen. The fear goes away with experience. What you're
doing is not only *survivable* - it's a lifestyle that has a
large number of adherents. Talk to other people who are doing
it, if you can; read up on the experiences of the folks who have
done it before you; find out all you can about it from those
whose opinion you respect... and most of all, *ignore* the
naysayers. They do not have the right to an opinion - although
they do indeed have the opinion itself (Ghod, do they ever!).
Unless they have experienced what you're attempting to do,
both the good and the bad sides, simply ignore their noise.
I wish you the best of luck - and may you find the joy and
the freedom you wish for as a result of your choices.
.. . .
* .. *. .* . ,, *
. ,. * .* *** .* , * . . .*
, . ,, * * * .. . *. . .* *
. * . KKKKKA-RRRRASHHHH!! *. .**
, . ,, * * * .. . *. . .* *
. ,. * .* *** .* , * . . .*
* .. *. .* . ,, *
.. . '.
Ben
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.geocities.com/ben-fuzzybear -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect
wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to
long for the endless immensity of the sea.-- Antoine de Saint Exupery
mae...@bordeaux.enteract.com
> The point of all of the above? You're changing your life, trying
> out your dreams. *YES,* it's scary. You know what? You just get to
> live with that - because that's part of the price for living your
> dreams. The `safe' option, the one that you were smart enough to
> deny yourself, is the choice to be dead - shut off your mind, close
> your ears, ignore the voice inside yourself that's screaming for
> freedom and choice... might as well go the nearest cemetery, lie
> down, and hope for some kind soul to toss on a couple of shovels
> full.
I really wish you could cheerlead "living one's dream" without being quite
so derogatory to those of us who are choosing safety for the moment, or who
have too many dreams to be able to drop everything else and choose one.
maenad - happy, smart, living some of her dreams, denying others for the
moment, and not dead by a long shot
--
__Anna________fun is good!_________BORDEAUX = spamblock__
In theory, theory and practice are the same.
In practice, they are not. -Yogi Berra
---------------------------------------------------------
mae...@bordeaux.enteract.com
> sudden, as in: "WHAT AM I DOING??? THAT WATER IS *COLD* DOWN THERE!!!
> LET ME TURN AROUND AND GET ME OFF THIS BOARD!!!! LET ME JUST GO HOME AND
> CURL UP AND HIDE AND WATCH BAD SITCOMS AND STUFF MYSELF WITH OREOS AND
> JUNK FOOD AND WE'LL ALL JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS, OKAY???
> AAAAIIIEEE!! HELLLLPP!!!"
> Good lord... if anyone else ever dealt with this, I'd like to hear it!
*grin* I say, go for it - as if you had a choice at this point. :) I
*suspect* you've just got a wee bit of stage fright. I mean, if you're
about to start living your dream, then you're going to have to go hunting
for another dream, nu? That's a big deal! I think it's normal to have
second thoughts.
I also think you'll be fine. Congratulations! Enjoy your new home. :)
maenad
The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe)
<8216ei$rn7$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
|Long story short: I finally have bought an RV and I plan to live in it
|full-time. Since I was a kid, I has always wanted to live on wheels.
|I even dreamed about it... always wanted to know what it was like.
|Good lord... if anyone else ever dealt with this, I'd like to hear it!
I once, voluntarily, spent six months traveling by motorcycle and living
in a tent I couldn't sit up in. An RV would have been outrageous,
unthinkable luxury, at the time. It's amazing how quickly we adapt to
such things.
For an experience closer to yours, see:
http://www.roadtripamerica.com/
for the story of some friends of mine who did what you're doing after
their house was destroyed by a forest fire.
(To buy their book, see
http://www.babcom.com/gla-mensa/revs.htm#RoadTrip
We need the money.)
The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, M.A., CCP, CFI)
http://www.babcom.com/polymath/
http://www.babcom.com/gla-mensa/
Query pgpkeys.mit.edu for PGP public key.
a2brute
morp...@dreamcircle.com wrote in message <8216ei$rn7$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
>Morphbird the pan-avian flutters in after a long absence. She lands on
>the mantlepiece above the fireplace, turns to face the crowd and
>proceeds to speak for her human counterpart as if for herself.
>
>"Hello everyone!"
>
[snip]
>sudden, as in: "WHAT AM I DOING??? THAT WATER IS *COLD* DOWN THERE!!!
>LET ME TURN AROUND AND GET ME OFF THIS BOARD!!!! LET ME JUST GO HOME AND
>CURL UP AND HIDE AND WATCH BAD SITCOMS AND STUFF MYSELF WITH OREOS AND
>JUNK FOOD AND WE'LL ALL JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS, OKAY???
>AAAAIIIEEE!! HELLLLPP!!!"
>
[snip]
>
>Morphbird
Larisa Migachyov
>
> I really wish you could cheerlead "living one's dream" without being quite
> so derogatory to those of us who are choosing safety for the moment, or who
> have too many dreams to be able to drop everything else and choose one.
Yes; or to those of us who are still in the preparatory stage. :)
But still; if you ignore your dreams completely, something inside you
dies.
--
Larisa Migachyov
Quaternion Press Publishing House
Have a math question? Ask the Quaternion at
http://www.quaternionpress.com/mathhelp.html
John Vinson
(Benjamin A. Okopnik) wrote:
>The point of all of the above? You're changing your life, trying
>out your dreams. *YES,* it's scary. You know what? You just get to
>live with that - because that's part of the price for living your
>dreams.
John the Wysard, living his dreams, scared at times, stares in awe at
Ben. "Thank you, Sir... beautiful, eloquent, and very, very true..."
Sheeyun Park
>Larisa Migachyov :
<snip>
>> But still; if you ignore your dreams completely, something inside you
>> dies.
>
>right.) pruning allows someone to actually achieve *more* of their dreams
>than wildly trying to have them all.
I think everyone is making good points. One of the saddest things for
me is to see someone with very modest dreams always putting them off for
practicalities until it's too late for them to realize their dreams.
>I dunno, maybe I'm trying to rationalize my choices... but the fact is I
>*can't* have all of my dreams because some of them are diametrically
>opposed. :) For some reason Jessye Norman's "Run Faster" song is playing
>in my head now. *g*
*grin* You know there was a crusty old German philosopher that said all
life is striving. Once you achieve something you look for something
else to achieve. So life is an ever swinging pendulum of desire (I
believe it was Schoepenhauer).
Now I don't prescribe to that extreme. I think that I am very content
with my life but I do have dreams. It's nice to be at the fulcrum or to
just enjoy the swing of the pendulum.
shpark
there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me a crooked line
--
shp...@mailbox.syr.edu
John Vinson
wrote:
>One of the saddest things for
>me is to see someone with very modest dreams always putting them off for
>practicalities until it's too late for them to realize their dreams.
My wife has a quote taped up over her desk at work: "I only regret my
economies"...
mae...@bordeaux.enteract.com
>>
>> I really wish you could cheerlead "living one's dream" without being quite
>> so derogatory to those of us who are choosing safety for the moment, or who
>> have too many dreams to be able to drop everything else and choose one.
> Yes; or to those of us who are still in the preparatory stage. :)
> But still; if you ignore your dreams completely, something inside you
> dies.
It's true. I think though, that judicius (hrf. sp? That doesn't look
right.) pruning allows someone to actually achieve *more* of their dreams
than wildly trying to have them all.
I dunno, maybe I'm trying to rationalize my choices... but the fact is I
*can't* have all of my dreams because some of them are diametrically
opposed. :) For some reason Jessye Norman's "Run Faster" song is playing
in my head now. *g*
maenad
Liana Olear
: The point of all of the above? You're changing your life, trying
: out your dreams. *YES,* it's scary. You know what? You just get to
: live with that - because that's part of the price for living your
: dreams. The `safe' option, the one that you were smart enough to
: deny yourself, is the choice to be dead - shut off your mind, close
: your ears, ignore the voice inside yourself that's screaming for
: freedom and choice... might as well go the nearest cemetery, lie
: down, and hope for some kind soul to toss on a couple of shovels
: full.
I suppose I might as well go off and pick out a nice tombstone for myself
right now. I don't have any dreams. Or, more precisely, my dreams
involve me being comfortably content. I like safe. Of course, not at
cost of the other things I want, but even the biggest changes I want don't
involve anything more radical than moving from a place I have few ties
with, my SO with me. (Unless one considers grad school a radical change.
I don't.)
Liana
Benjamin A. Okopnik
>mae...@BORDEAUX.enteract.com wrote:
>>
>> I really wish you could cheerlead "living one's dream" without being quite
>> so derogatory to those of us who are choosing safety for the moment, or who
>> have too many dreams to be able to drop everything else and choose one.
>
>Yes; or to those of us who are still in the preparatory stage. :)
Larisa - perhaps you have also misunderstood what I was saying: I was not
being derogatory to anyone, in any stage of preparation - without
preparation, there's no achievement - my point was...
>But still; if you ignore your dreams completely, something inside you
>dies.
...*that,* thank you very much. If you dream of adventure, then
*that* is your dream - and I wish you the best in following it.
If your dream is safety, then that's what it is for you, and my
wishes for you remain the same.
What I was trying to get across is that following your dreams isn't
just important - it's *vital.* Surrendering them... I can't find words
strong enough to express my dismay at the thought.
j.w.
morp...@dreamcircle.com wrote
>
> Good lord... if anyone else ever dealt with this, I'd like to hear it!
>
> I have set it up so that I now really have no choice but to go for it...
> financially, it just can't work otherwise and I have already given
> notice to the landlord. So I am going. But this wanna-be-a-chicken
> feeling is driving me nutzoid! :-/
>
> Morphbird
Well, let's see. Two years ago I was looking for a way out of the city. I
saw a small ad in the paper looking for a teacher for a small, independent,
alternative rural school. I answered the ad, and got the job. One month
after answering the ad I was packing to move 375 km away from everyone I
knew, to a job that paid half of what I was making before, and to live so
far out in the country I have virtually no neighbours. On my own. With no
fallback position. I burned all my bridges (let my old bosses know what I
thought of them - that was _fun_), let the apartment go and just went for
it. I was so stressed out that I couldn't remember family members' names
(not a joke in a family where Alzheimers is a possibility), but there was
no way I could walk away from the opportunity. I knew that if it was the
worst job in the world I could always find another one somewhere - that
there was no going back, but that forward didn't have to be in a straight
line.
Now - I'm happier than I've every been. I like living in the woods, I love
my job, and I'm starting to make new friends. Heck, I've even found one old
one.
Every now and then I get an attack of the 'shoulds'. I should get a job
that pays more, I should be part of the system, I should be more
responsible, I should have my own house by now. Then I think about all the
other things in my life that I could do if I just had the nerve. Sometimes
I think I'll make this my specialty - wandering the world taking odd
teaching jobs. After all, why not? Can't you see me teaching English in
Italy? I can - and maybe one day I will.
I've learned that any phrase that starts with "I should" is something I
need to run away from. Safe has its good points, but ultimately, for me,
it's boring.
j.w.
Benjamin A. Okopnik
<P&E>
<Sigh> Is there a *reason* that people are contorting themselves
to fit into a non-existent straightjacket here? The message was,
"don't turn away from your dreams - fear is NEVER a good reason."
If you have no dreams, this does not apply to you. If you have
dreams that are different - wonderful, we're all individuals and
I would be surprised if <generic> you had the same dream as I do -
and I would be the last person in the world to knock someone
else's choices for themselves.
Did I explain my meaning more clearly this time?
Liana Olear
: <P&E>
Much. It definitely sounded quite different to me from what you said
before.
Liana
Benjamin A. Okopnik
>
>I've learned that any phrase that starts with "I should" is something I
>need to run away from. Safe has its good points, but ultimately, for me,
>it's boring.
Well said!
.. . .
* .. *. .* . ,, *
. ,. * .* *** .* , * . . .*
, . ,, * * * .. . *. . .* *
. * . KKKKKA-RRRRASHHHH!! *. .**
, . ,, * * * .. . *. . .* *
. ,. * .* *** .* , * . . .*
* .. *. .* . ,, *
.. . '.
Ben, reaching for another glass and muttering "DAMN well said!"
ARCmage
> >dies.
>
> ...*that,* thank you very much. If you dream of adventure, then
> *that* is your dream - and I wish you the best in following it.
> If your dream is safety, then that's what it is for you, and my
> wishes for you remain the same.
>
> What I was trying to get across is that following your dreams isn't
> just important - it's *vital.* Surrendering them... I can't find words
> strong enough to express my dismay at the thought.
Having your dreams die is quite survivable.
There was a time when the ARCmage dared to dream. Kind of fuzzy, far-off
dreams of a happy home, of travel, of living the life he wanted.
All gone now. Reality can be the ultimate ruination of dreams.
The ARCmage hasn't stopped living though. Sometimes life seems kind of
pointless, but the ARCmage has learned the important lesson that life does
on *have* to have a point.
--
Sin(The ARCmage)
--------------------
1
gjmiles
ARCmage wrote in message ...
>Having your dreams die is quite survivable.
True...but survival is often just that... life without a dream is not
necessarily living...habit creates a shell about emptiness...
George Miles
Tasha
Who says dreams have to be wildly elaborate castles in the clouds? Why
isn't safety and contentment a valid dream? Hell, having my own
apartment in a safe, decent neighborhood, relatively close to a
well-stocked grocery store, not too far from a permanent (as opposed to
temp) job, and coming home to someone who loves me.. that was a fond
dream six months ago. Now I have all that, and while it might not be
everything I want (we can only park one car in the driveway, the other
must be parked in the street, we're on different work shifts and
finding the transition difficult, and I'm less than totally enamored of
my job), it's still fantastic. I have other dreams -- telecommuting,
freelancing as a copy editor/web designer, marriage, a house, kids, a
paid-off car... All attainable. All small-ish dreams. But they're
mine, dammit.
Anything you want to do and have to work towards, have to take a little
leap of faith to attain (like getting a graduate degree), those are
dreams, and all dreams are worth having.
To dreams, and their attainment, and to hoping that attaining leads to
more and even better dreams!
**************************CRASH*****************************
tASHA
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
Jacob Sommer
> Having your dreams die is quite survivable.
>
> There was a time when the ARCmage dared to dream. Kind of fuzzy, far-off
> dreams of a happy home, of travel, of living the life he wanted.
>
> All gone now. Reality can be the ultimate ruination of dreams.
>
> The ARCmage hasn't stopped living though. Sometimes life seems kind of
> pointless, but the ARCmage has learned the important lesson that life does
> on *have* to have a point.
<Jacob looks at ARCmage sadly>
You will dream again someday. I don't know when, but you will - and you
will wake up knowing that the nightmare you've lived is over and the good
times can maybe start that day.
Mike - The ARCmage is covered tonight. I'm feeling maudlin right now.
Jacob
Janice Munday
hit the Eastern CT coast on your way north? Say, the Mystic/New
London/Saybrook area?
I'd still like to treat you to dinner -- Chuck's Steak House isn't
Chuck's any more, but they still serve a mean steak. So do the Steak
Loft and the Seamen's Inn over at the Seaport. (Which is a nice place to
explore if you like Olde Tyme Sailing Ships... <g>)
And the Eagle just *might* be in port and open for inspection, if
the timing's right.
(hugs)
JEM
(who's wondering what other bribes might prove tempting to a certain
FuzzyBear...)
I don't suffer from insanity......I'm enjoying every minute of it!
Gesi Rovario-Cole
>
<snip>
> LET ME TURN AROUND AND GET ME OFF THIS BOARD!!!! LET ME JUST GO HOME AND
> CURL UP AND HIDE AND WATCH BAD SITCOMS AND STUFF MYSELF WITH OREOS AND
> JUNK FOOD AND WE'LL ALL JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS, OKAY???
> AAAAIIIEEE!! HELLLLPP!!!"
>
>
> I have set it up so that I now really have no choice but to go for it...
> financially, it just can't work otherwise and I have already given
> notice to the landlord. So I am going. But this wanna-be-a-chicken
> feeling is driving me nutzoid! :-/
"To be perfectly honest, if you were completely calm about things and
thought everything would work out perfectly, I'd be worried. I've had
the same feelings when I was on the cusp of every single important
decision in my adult life. I felt this way the day I got married. I just
asked my husband and he said that *he* felt the same way."
"I know that everyone doesn't get hugely scared before something big,
but I'll bet more do than don't. And *especially* before living out a
dream...I mean, if it goes wrong, that means a dream dies. If it goes
right, then you might have to find something else to fuel your dreams."
"I won't say don't worry...besides, that never works. Just...try to
calm. It sounds like you've got everything planned out and it definitely
doesn't sound like you're rushing into this. You're probably going to
have jitters till your first night in your new home. I know, not a very
uplifting message. *However*, they will *very* probably go away as soon
as you've experienced the reality of your dream."
"You have all my good wishes."
Gesi
barbara trumpinski-roberts
> >me is to see someone with very modest dreams always putting them off for
> >practicalities until it's too late for them to realize their dreams.
john v.
> My wife has a quote taped up over her desk at work: "I only regret my
> economies"...
"please tell her that i am going to put this in my journal and over my
desk," says kitten.
/\ /\ 'anyone with a personally fulfilling lifestyle simply
{=.=} lives it with zest and self-focus.' celeste west
~ kit...@uiuc.edu smotu
http://members.tripod.com/~barbarakitten
Kris Grice
I felt the same way about going off to college. I started over several years
after most people my age had graduated, and transferred t oa big state
school midway. The week before I was supposed to leave, I announced to my
(rather unamused) mother that I *was not* going.
I went anyway. And everything was fine. Just hold your breath and jump...and
remember that you can always climb out of the pool if the water's colder
than you can handle.
Mouse
morp...@dreamcircle.com wrote in message <8216ei$rn7$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
>...and suddenly inside one suddenly feels like a total chicken all of a