yet more narcissistic drivel
buk...@my-deja.com
rejection. They edited in a couple of the sentences. Oh well that
saves me a lot of work. Also everybody knows I ain't a jungian so
there was the whole political tide against me thing. Entirely their
loss which they are in bliss consciousness not aware of it. It isn't
like my proposal sucked or anything like that.
Well they may have thought it sucked which would be something like
that but I won't be inquiring any further.
I have been reading McKay & Fanning "Self Esteem" and doing some of
the exercises. Right up to the point where I need to do the
understanding and acceptance and forgiveness exercises. According to
the book I need to do FIVE of them in the next two weeks. The last
time I did one of those it knocked me off equilibrium the entire day
so I can't imagine not running out of gas before I finish five of
those suckers. I might not even be able to do two of them. On the
other hand I do have this huge stash of anger I am carting around so
maybe I should just bite the bullet and do it. The other thing is this
is supposed to improve my self esteem and you know what? I am a
friggin' narcissist so I hardly think more self esteem is what I am
needing here. The main reason I am reading the book is that it is a
fantastic periscope for peeping into the culture I am trying to fit
into while I take their money without having too many of their kooties
rub off on me.
That entire New Harbinger publishing catalog is straightforward
mainstream psychobabble. For what it is I cannot recommend it highly
enough.
After my last experience at my new T group (with the highest poontang
quotient ever) I decided to quit it and go back to the new one anima
woman is running. It's a question of balance. I was unbalanced in the
group and I didn't even know it even while I was saying it. Then last
night practically the first words out of anima woman's mouth were that
the purpose of confronting the unconscious is to maintain a sober
*balance*, that the little man in your head is going to have tangible
impact whether you try and deal with him or not so it's just a lot
easier on you to take him into account, minimize unpleasant surprise,
and take care of your highest priority stuff with less interference.
I don't believe that either but it makes way more sense than what
Psycho Bitch running the other T group is peddling. Well that is a
little judgmental which McKay & Fanning says is bad for my self
esteem. Whatever.
Got my first three lessons in the mail from my new occult group. This
one may actually work out. The material for study and grade
advancement is all written down with a modest schedule and I did the
first lesson and it was fine. It's supposed to be an hour a week and
supposedly there are several tens of thousands of people around the
globe doing the same thing every Thursday evening so we get all kinds
of illuminati joojoo going on. Apparently I am going to have to go to
Dallas to get initiated but that isn't a problem. I can't wait for the
first goat sacrifice.
It is starting to sink in that I probably won't ever meet a single
person from my dad's family. What a pity that he would be so horrified
that he would cut off all contact from the whole clan. He didn't want
to be what he was. He wanted to be Hugh Hefner or Frank Sinatra or the
Sean Connery James Bond guy. Rich and classy and suave and alpha
manly. He didn't want to be from that little town in West Virginia, so
he just pretended he wasn't. That is what is great about America. You
can be anything you want to be. For a long time he believed it. For
all I know he believed it right up to the end.
One of the chapters in the McKay and Fanning book is you are supposed
to make an accurate self assessment. One of the exercises in that
chapter is great. You make a list of all the people you personally
know that you most admire, and what quality it is they have you most
admire. I listed nineteen people. Then you go down the list and you
query for each quality: would I say that I have got that one? And they
claim (and I can sort of confirm this) that you will discover when you
do this that there are two or three human virtues you do not
habitually consider yourself to have, that, lo and behold (!) you do
happen to have them. And maybe even one of them is a great and rare
virtue indeed and, like wow man, you got it!
This exercise was great fun but I don't really recommend it for
narcissists. This exercise probably works in reverse too, for
effective not-fun. Maybe I will try that one. Control freak!
Commitment phobe! Boundary issues!
Bukvich
David bin Bedlam
Hey Bukky,
May I go to some T-groups with you? I could stay at the Youth Hostel and
never touch your keyboard! Do you go to any I could get in for FREE? See,
one of these days I want to have some idea what you're babbling about. (I
gave up with Layo long ago.) Or maybe I can get Jonah to explain it?
D.
--
"You'll find a god in every golden cloister."
...................................................................
(C) 2007 TheDavid^TM | David, P.O. Box 21403, Louisville, KY 40221
David bin Bedlam
[...]
> I have been reading McKay & Fanning "Self Esteem"
From a reviewer on Amazon.com:
"- Accurate self-assessment: this is one of the highlights of this book.
You'll learn the art of accurate self-assessment without using pejorative
terms like useless, bad, or inferior"
But those are some of the best, most accurate terms to describe me! Along
with fuckheaded, fugly and chud!
[...]
> One of the chapters in the McKay and Fanning book is you are supposed
> to make an accurate self assessment. One of the exercises in that
> chapter is great. You make a list of all the people you personally
> know that you most admire, and what quality it is they have you most
> admire.
Bukky: superior fuckheadedness.
Jonah: chudlike but not as fugly.
Mica: a more successful predator.
Max: SUPER-CHUD!
> I listed nineteen people.
I don't personally know that many. Does Hitler count?
> Then you go down the list and you query for each quality: would I say
> that I have got that one?
I find it hard to recognize qualities in others that I myself don't have.
In fact, in 43% of the cases, I'm projecting good qualities on others that
I have that they really don't.
I know fugly and chud when I see it though.
> And they claim (and I can sort of confirm this) that you will discover
> when you do this that there are two or three human virtues you do not
> habitually consider yourself to have, that, lo and behold (!) you do
> happen to have them. And maybe even one of them is a great and rare
> virtue indeed and, like wow man, you got it!
That part sounds seriously like self-deluding bullshit. I doubt I could,
e.g., be said in any meaningful way to be Good At Math, no matter how much
I admire Jen for it.
> This exercise was great fun but I don't really recommend it for
> narcissists. This exercise probably works in reverse too, for effective
> not-fun.
I bet it does too. Self-knowledge, even false self-knowledge, cuts both
ways, and there's no point in learning the Good without the Bad. (The Ugly
is often obvious t everyone but the Ego, and never will be to Him/Her.)
> Maybe I will try that one. Control freak! Commitment phobe! Boundary
> issues!
At least you don't have to be a fugly fuckheaded chud who's bad at math!
(I bet there are few things Mica's bothered to try that she's bad at.)
D.
P.S. But as a useless, bad, inferior, fugly fuckheaded chud I'm nonpareil!
J Thomas
> On Wed, 4 Apr 2007, bukv...@my-deja.com wrote:
>
> [...]
>
> > I have been reading McKay & Fanning "Self Esteem"
>
> From a reviewer on Amazon.com:
>
> "- Accurate self-assessment: this is one of the highlights of this book.
> You'll learn the art of accurate self-assessment without using pejorative
> terms like useless, bad, or inferior"
>
> But those are some of the best, most accurate terms to describe me! Along
> with fuckheaded, fugly and chud!
What is chud?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chud
Ah. Thank you. I hadn't heard.
mica...@sbcglobal.net
> On Wed, 4 Apr 2007, bukv...@my-deja.com wrote:
> >
> > One of the chapters in the McKay and Fanning book is you are supposed
> > to make an accurate self assessment. One of the exercises in that
> > chapter is great. You make a list of all the people you personally
> > know that you most admire, and what quality it is they have you most
> > admire.
>
> Bukky: superior fuckheadedness.
>
> Jonah: chudlike but not as fugly.
>
> Mica: a more successful predator.
I'm oddly flattered, even tho' it ain't true. I am utterly benign.
> (I bet there are few things Mica's bothered to try that she's bad at.)
You overestimate me my friend. I can't throw a ball very well. I'm
not great with math. And I really suck at my new job.
Oh well.
Mica
Sonnenblume
> Bukky: superior fuckheadedness.
> Jonah: chudlike but not as fugly.
> Mica: a more successful predator.
>
> Max: SUPER-CHUD!
Define 'chud'.
m, ?
Sonnenblume
>> But those are some of the best, most accurate terms to describe me! Along
>> with fuckheaded, fugly and chud!
> What is chud?
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chud
> Ah. Thank you. I hadn't heard.
Ah, ok. So a chud is some kind of SUPER-VIKING.
m, cool
J Thomas
You have to figure the russians would have a soft spot for people who
commit suicide when it looks like they might lose a fight with
russians.
Mica
Sonnenblume
Ah. A Cannabalistic Humanoid Undergroud Dweller. So, really, an /urban/
super viking.
Yay.
Of course, according to Google, C.H.U.D. also stands for
CHUD.com - Cinematic Happenings Under Development www.chud.com/
m, i'm in turnaround
Sonnenblume
But of course.
m, with my shield or on it
David bin Bedlam
[...]
> m, with my shield or on it
"Up my butt is STINKY.
D.
Sonnenblume
> On Sat, 7 Apr 2007, Sonnenblume wrote:
> [...]
>> m, with my shield or on it
> "Up my butt is STINKY.
I'm sure your folks are proud.
m, who's stinky?