Melissa Goldman
Dear Superintendent Steinhaus, Assistant Superintendent Guy, and members of the Los Alamos Public Schools School Board,
I have been trying to write this email for two weeks now, trying to put together the words that can adequately express my concerns about returning to school. All of those words already exist in a number of my colleagues’ letters, and it feels pointless to try to rehash those same arguments again. And whenever I do attempt this, the same phrase pops into my mind:
I am tired.
I am tired of eternally drowning. Every time I think that I will be able to break the current cycle and plan for more than a day or two at a time, something else drops into my lap and I have to scramble to deal with that AND still create new lessons for every two-day cycle, lessons that I hope will engage my students and help them learn new material while also respecting how HARD this all is right now.
I am tired of justifying myself. I shouldn’t have to explain, repeatedly and on a very personal level, why it is important to my family and health that I not return to the classroom until there is broader vaccination and assurance that all necessary safety protocols can be implemented AND enforced consistently.
I am tired of fighting. I have been in fight mode for so much of this year, advocating for my students, my own children, myself. It is exhausting and eats away at my mental strength.
I am tired. Almost too tired. I don’t want to give up. I love my students and I love teaching, but I have very little left to give. Please don’t ask for that too.
Sincerely,
Melissa J. Goldman
LAHS Teacher, Latin and Special Education/Math