Review: Teddy Bears' Picnic (2001)
Harvey S. Karten
Reviewed by Harvey Karten
Magnolia Pictures
Director: Harry Shearer
Writer: Harry Shearer
Cast: Michael McKean, Fred Willard, Howard Hesseman,
George Wendt, John Michael Higgins, Justin Kirk, Ming-Na,
Henry Gibson, David Rasche, Robert Mandan, Kenneth Mars,
Kurtwood Smith, Bob Einstein, Alan Thicke, Harry Shearer
Screened at: Review 2, NYC, 2/26/02
Satirizing people in power is fair game. It was as far back as
the days of Aristophanes, who poked fun at the Greek generals
who led their young men to death in senseless fighting and it
was particularly fashionable to laugh at the rich and haughty
during the English Restoration where William Congreve held
court and in Britain during the late 19th Century when Oscar
Wilde wrote "The Importance of Being Earnest." To say that the
versatile Harry Shearer, who penned and directed "Teddy
Bears' Picnic," is no Congreve or Wilde would be the
understatement of the decade, because his social (and partly
political) satire is the most inept "comedy" to come down the
pike in quite a while. Eighty minutes is not a lengthy time period
for a story as films nowadays go, but you'd think that Shearer
could evoke a single laugh from this drivel during that time
span. Nope. Not a one. This is the sort of staggeringly awful
picture that could have the critics saying "Wait for the video, and
when the video comes out, skip that as well."
What a shame, because if nothing else, the movie has some
terrific classical music in its soundtrack. Never mind that
Beethoven has little to do with the sophomoric antics portrayed
herein. And the title song, an updated version of the theme of
one of my favorite Saturday morning radio programs featuring
"Big John and Sparky," brought back memories of a story
written for kids that is quite a bit more amusing that Shearer's
fiasco.
"Teddy Bears' Picnic" locates its motif at retreat that movers
and shakers in American society from weapons-dealing
generals to heads of corporations and universities attend in a
rustic area of northern California. These guys call themselves
Zambesians because they are members of an exclusive club
called Zambesi Glen. They cavort, away from the public eye or
so they think until their mischievous ways are captured on video
by a money-hungry waiter. What's the big fear that these big
shots have of being spotted by the general public, or being seen
as human beings instead of stuffed-shirt unapproachables?
Well for one thing they communally pee on a tree. For another
they dress in drag, and sing badly to a parody of Shakespeare's
plays. One guy, the secretary of transportation, shacks up with
an art student who does tricks occasionally to finance her
studies. Wow! If we ordinary folks only knew that politicians
and businessmen were HUMAN, that they sometimes act like
fraternity boys! What's next? That they put their pants on one
leg at a time?
The film features characters, some notable Saturday Night
Live participants like director Shearer himself who, as
headwaiter, docks his staff because a bottle of Sanka got stolen
and who, in response to a query about the kind of food he
serves, reports "good food." (Are you roaring with laughter yet?)
David Rasche, Morgan Fairchild, George Wendt (the "Cheers"
guy), Fred Willard (in a role that's a ghost of his funny sketch in
"Best in Show") and Peter Marshall do not make fools of
themselves in this pic. If only they did! The film was shot in 20
days. It should have been in one.
Not Rated. Running time: 80 minutes. (C) 2002 by
Harvey Karten, film_...@compuserve.com
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