Ann Landers is snoped
snopes
Astute readers of AFU may have noticed that in yesterday's (Sunday's)
column, Ann Landers printed a letter that was a thinly disguised retelling of
the well travelled "Blind Date" UL (as described in Brunvand's "The Mexican
Pet", p. 126). I lay claim to this one. I sent the same letter to Ann
Landers, Abigail van Buren, and Dr. Joyce Brothers, because I was curious to
see whether I could get a classic UL past one (or perhaps all) of them. Ann
printed the letter, but she apparently didn't understand the signature and
omitted it. (It was printed only with a signature of "Van Nuys, CA", which is
the post office that would have postmarked the letter.)
This is the original letter I mailed (it was edited somewhat for use in
the column):
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Abby:
I am so embarrassed I can scarcely write this letter. (Thank God for
word processors!) I'll try to explain as briefly and clearly as I can
what's bothering me.
I met a young woman at college whom I am absolutely crazy about. I
finally got up enough nerve to ask her out one day, and she accepted. After we
had been dating for a few months, it appeared to me that she was beginning to
feel as strongly about me as I did about her. We made arrangements to go on
our first out-of-town (i.e., overnight) trip together and drive down to San
Diego for a three-day weekend. Although I didn't necessarily know that
anything was going to happen between us that weekend, I thought it better to
be safe than sorry, so I stopped by a drugstore on the way home from school the
day before our trip to purchase some condoms. I had never bought condoms in a
store before (I usually get them from friends or through the mail), so I was a
little anxious. I nervously made small talk with the pharmacist as he rang up
my purchase, foolishly blurting out that maybe I was going to get lucky that
weekend, and I quickly left the store as soon as I had finished paying.
When I arrived to pick up my girlfriend at her house the next morning,
imagine my shock and horror when that very same pharmacist answered the door.
He was her father! I was so embarrassed that I couldn't speak, and I almost
turned and ran back to my car right then. Fortunately, Julie was ready on time,
and we managed to leave after the briefest of introductions. Needless to say, I
was so nervous and upset the whole weekend that we both had a lousy time. (And
no, nothing happened.) Even worse, Julie had no idea what was bothering me,
and I couldn't tell her.
Abby, what can I do? I can't possibly go back and face Julie's father
again, but neither can I pursue a serious relationship with her if I don't.
I've been avoiding her ever since, and it's breaking my heart. Please help me.
Just sign me: Snoped in Southern California
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Unless otherwise noted, all names of companies, products, street addresses, |
| and persons contained herein are part of a completely fictitious scenario |
| or scenarios and are designed solely to document the use of an urban legend.|
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| David P. Mikkelson Calif. State Univ., Northridge Northridge, CA USA |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
William G. Sinkins
[clever jape deleted]
I'm glad to see that reports of your getting a life were greatly exaggerated.
Bill Sinkins
Daniel B Case
>
> Astute readers of AFU may have noticed that in yesterday's (Sunday's)
>column, Ann Landers printed a letter that was a thinly disguised retelling of
>the well travelled "Blind Date" UL (as described in Brunvand's "The Mexican
>Pet", p. 126). I lay claim to this one. I sent the same letter to Ann
>Landers, Abigail van Buren, and Dr. Joyce Brothers, because I was curious to
>see whether I could get a classic UL past one (or perhaps all) of them. Ann
>printed the letter, but she apparently didn't understand the signature and
>omitted it. (It was printed only with a signature of "Van Nuys, CA", which is
>the post office that would have postmarked the letter.)
>
> This is the original letter I mailed (it was edited somewhat for use in
>the column):
Wait a minute, snopes. Didn't PvdL recently say something about you having
a new girlfriend or something? Hmm...is it possible you're just trying to save
face?
Dan "*Now* we know what your long absence was really about" Case
"'My country right or wrong' is like saying,
'My mother drunk or sober'"-G.K. Chesterton
Daniel Case
State University of New York at Buffalo Prodigy:WDNS15D
V140...@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu dc...@acsu.buffalo.edu
Andrew K. Machan
> This is the original letter I mailed (it was edited somewhat for use in
>the column):
What *I'd* like to know is who edits these columns and how they decide
what to change. For example:
>I met a young woman at college whom I am absolutely crazy about.
Printed as "I met a young woman at college who has it all - looks, brains
and personality." No, she's ugly, stupid, and has the personality of a
brick, but he's crazy, right?
>...we managed to leave after the briefest of introductions. Needless to say, I
>was so nervous and upset the whole weekend that we both had a lousy time. (And
>no, nothing happened.) Even worse, Julie had no idea what was bothering me,
>and I couldn't tell her.
Printed as "We had a lovely weekend, but I didn't tell her that I had
bought the condoms from her father." Which gives the impression that
*something* definitely happened. But then, this being an urban legend,
the details are flexible, aren't they?
Andy "So *that's* how to get lucky" Machan
--
Andrew K. Machan | mac...@crl.com | FEEL FREE
Andy Wardley
sno...@netcom.com (snopes) wrote:
>
>OK, David, I'll bite. What does "snope" mean?
And where can I get one?
Andy "sorry, I couldn't resist" Wardley
This Spot Is Allowed whatever K says. Here, have some
Andy Wardley chocolate, it's Terry's. No smug bait for Derek. M#0
a...@oasis.icl.co.uk Badgers are your friends. OK, so they don't frink but
have you seen them forage? DAMN! I've run out of sp
Lee Rudolph
>What *I'd* like to know is who edits these columns and how they decide
>what to change. For example:
(examples of Ann's "improvements" of snopes's letter, deleted)
Copy editors (subeditors, if you're in the UK) have some discretion
(in practice if not in theory) even with syndicated features, though
why they chose to exercise it in this case I cannot guess.
It was, for instance, presumably the copy editor at my local newspaper
who, in an article on the make-up in "Last Confederate Widow Tells All",
must have changed the author's "rubber cement" to "rubber concrete"
this past Sunday.
Lee "obviously someone who thinks `cut' and `paste' originated
in GUIs" Rudolph
ludator
more "entertaining". My mother used to work as the regional director of
the local Red Cross chapter, and wrote a note complaining about Ann's
continuing traffic of the story about how the Salvation Army gave away
free donuts & coffee during WWII, while the Red Cross charged for them.
This story is true -- however, it's true because of a quirk in the laws
over there, which the 'Army got around by being a church. Every time Ann
tells this story, she omits the important fact that it was out of the Red
Cross's hands.
Naturally, of course, Mom's note got printed -- sans explanation. The
moral of this story is, Ann Landers is about useful /only/ for spreading ULs.
\ / | Vox Ludator (lud...@io.com) is brought to you by Earlville, IL
\|/ | A tiny little division of Hellmark corporation (!=tm)
|__ | Check my .plan for information on Disposable Heroes!
Henry
> Dear Abby:
> Just sign me: Snoped in Southern California
OK, David, I'll bite. What does "snope" mean?
Henry
Ted Frank
>In <2q7ud2$q...@crl2.crl.com> mac...@crl.com (Andrew K. Machan) writes:
>
>>What *I'd* like to know is who edits these columns and how they decide
>>what to change. For example:
>(examples of Ann's "improvements" of snopes's letter, deleted)
>
>Copy editors (subeditors, if you're in the UK) have some discretion
>(in practice if not in theory) even with syndicated features, though
>why they chose to exercise it in this case I cannot guess.
My newspaper (which ostensibly originates the Ann Landers column) had
the same changes.
--
ted frank
the law skool
the u of c 61 u chi l rev 639
kibo#=0.5
Francis L. Bradham
>
> Astute readers of AFU may have noticed that in yesterday's (Sunday's)
> column, Ann Landers printed a letter that was a thinly disguised retelling of
> the well travelled "Blind Date" UL (as described in Brunvand's "The Mexican
> Pet", p. 126). I lay claim to this one. I sent the same letter to Ann
Good one! The question is, why isn't Ann (or Abby,for that
matter.They're twins, you know) better equipped for detecting
this stuff? How many times have they been trolled over the
years? I remember seeing the shopping mall abduction UL, the
corpse on the front bumper (found on the morning after by the
drunk driver who killed it), probably some others.
But the best (no offense Snopes) was when an irate reader wrote
in, described a Saturday Night Live gag commercial, and railed
about how the existence of the product in the ad foretold the
end of civilization (the ad in question was "the meat wagon" a
toy ambulance complete with body bags). Ann (or was it Abby?
They look so much alike) was so unhip that she didn't know
what the story was and kind of mumbled (figuratively speaking)
something about how awful that someone would market such a sick
product.
And people turn to those bozos for serious advice.
Bo "wake up and smell the coffee" Bradham
Brian Leibowitz
explaining the source of a legend he mentioned. He rewrote my
letter into a "Naaaa Naaaaa, you made a mistake!!!..." type letter.
Cecil wrote "You may recall reading some time ago that Russian
Scientists were attempting to clone a mammoth from some preserved
cells. Don't hold your breath"
this is the explaination I reprinted in my book on student pranks at MIT:
(reprinted without permission from myself nor Technology Review)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
In the October 1984 issue of Technology Review, the editor gave the
following account of the woolly mammoth story:
Our Shaggy Elephant
It all began more than a year ago in an MIT science writing
class. A talented undergraduate submitted for possible use in
Technology Review a beautifully written account of the discovery
in the U.S.S.R. of ova from a woolly mammoth frozen in arctic
ice. This long-preserved material was eventually used, according
to the account, to breed a mammoth-elephant hybrid called a
_mammontelephas_, from the Russian mammonth and the Greek
elephas, with a biological name Elephas pseudotherias. The
principals in this scientific achievement were said to be a Dr.
Sverbighooze Nikhiphorovich Yasmilov of the University of
Irkutsk and a Dr. James Creak of MIT.
It took us a few hours to appreciate the skill with which
Diana ben-Aaron had turned an assignment in science writing into
a brilliant exercise in parody, and soon enough we resolved to
share ben-Aaron's achievement with our readers in celebration of
All Fools' Day. Hence the feature on page 85 of our April 1984
issue.
But, as Robert Cooke, science editor of the Boston Globe, noted
in a front page feature late last summer, "Some folks there are
who cannot take a joke." For early last May we were startled to
find Diana's science nonsense taken seriously by the Chicago
Tribune and subsequently by a number of other newspapers that
subscribe to the Tribune's syndicate service. Eventually Family
Weekly, a Sunday supplement distributed in over 350 U.S.
newspapers, carried the story. Meanwhile, this editor has sought
to explain the April Fool's Day tradition to a biologist at the
Chettiar Research Centre of Madras; and Charles Ball of the
MIT News Office found himself struggling to tell a Paris
journalist, "N'est pas vrai!" in his best French accent.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The original article included an explaination as to how they
did the procedure, how the elephant has 56 chromosomes and the
mammoth has 58, so the offspring are sterile (like mules).
It also explains why the offspring are sterile and explains the
real origin of the phrase "once in a blue moon"; it is actually
from _cum mula peperit_ - "when a mule foals."
Brian "All Tech men wear batteries" Leibowitz
Terry Chan
- Good one! The question is, why isn't Ann (or Abby,for that
-matter.They're twins, you know) better equipped for detecting
-this stuff?
[stuff deleted]
-And people turn to those bozos for serious advice.
Because they're not primarily interested in telling
the truth. They're primarily interested in helping
their readers. Good stories, of which ULs are usually
fine examples, are very conducive to their objectives.
To some people, they sort of serve as the stereotypical
sages of old, who transmit wise codes of behavior by
a story telling tradition. That's often the purpose of
ULs.
Terry "Truth or Consequences" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division | Mail: twc...@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory | No matter how thin you slice it
Berkeley, California USA 94720 | it's still baloney. -- BB