[rec.scouting.*] Skits, Yells & Creative Campfires (FAQ 9)

[Bill Nelson]

Archive-name: scouting/skits-yells-campfires
Last-Modified: 1998 July 25

The Frequently Ask Questions (FAQ) files for all Scouting groups
are archived at the following sites:
http://www.faqs.org/faqs/scouting/
http://www.faqs.org/#FAQHTML

This file contains a number of skits and yells collected on
rec.scouting and scouts-l, for your own Pack meetings and campfires.
While the yells are rarely useable outside of the english-speaking
countries, most skits are very easy to translate, and my cubs love them!

I have also appended a compilation of creative ways to light a
campfire. If you use them, be careful not to incite the kids to start
playing with liquid fuels. The results can be devastating.

If you know a good skit or yell that hasn't been included in this FAQ,
please do all of us the favor. Write it up and post it on rec.scouting.
Drop me a copy too to make sure that I include it in this file.

There are a few books I know on skits, yells and campfires:

The "BSA Cub Scout Leader How-To Book". It is built to help the
cub scout pack and den leaders running programs that kids enjoy.
A section of 15 pages is dedicated to skits, yells and applauses.
ISBN 0-8395-3831-6.

"Creative Campfires" is another fine publication. Half of the
book contains songs, and the rest is crammed with skits, stories,
yells and tips to set up an entertaining campfire. (Sorry - no ISBN,
but it can be ordered worldwide from the BSA Supply Division -
Fax +1-704-588-5822).

"Campfire Stories....Things That go Bump in the Night" by William
Forgey, M.D. contains 21 campfire stories, with large typeface
summary of each. Also includes the author's suggestions for how
to be successful at telling campfire stories.
ISBN 0-934802-23-8 published by ICS Books.
Approximate price: $10US $13CA

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There are ten FAQ files in the rec.scouting FAQ series. The FAQ files
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This file or parts of it may be freely used, printed and re-distributed
as long as you enclose this paragraph and keep the references to the
respective contributors and to the maintainer (listed below) intact.

-- Bill Nelson nel...@aztec.asu.edu

There is a big file of songs at http://www.usscouts.org
There is a directory with many cheers, skits, campfire ideas, magic campfire
starters at http://www.usscouts.org.
There is a big file of over 100 campfire skits and cheers at
ftp://ftp.cam.org/users/malak/scouting/fires.zip

--------------------------------

Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1992 12:47:53 -0400
From: bk...@CLEVELAND.FREENET.edu (Jack W. Weinmann)
Subject: Skit - Rowing

Four or more people sneak up behind the speaker and set chairs down so
that "the speaker can't see them." They then begin to go through the
motions of casting a line and reeling it in. After a while the audience
is watching what the group is doing and then the "speaker" looks over
and asks, "What are you doing?"

"We're fishing!" is the reply of the fishermen, after which they go
back to their motions and the speaker resumes talking. After a short
time the speaker looks over and says - "But you can't fish here!"

"Why not?" asks another fisherman.

"Because there's no water here!" (speaker)

"Oh, well, they weren't biting anyway!" (fisherman)

The fishermen then turn their chairs so that they are lined up in
a single line, facing in the same direction. They go through the
motions of putting their gear away, and then, acting as if they are
rowing a boat, slide their chairs backwards across the stage."

It worked well in a gymnasium and at the hall where we showed it
to the leaders at roundtable. Perhaps the fishermen could sit on
plastic garbage bags, or pieces of plastic sheet such as that which
is used for ground cloths and simply scoot across the ground when it
is time to "row" away.

Also, the speaker could be starting what looks like the introduction
to another skit when the fishermen interrupt his narration.

--------------------------------

From: wa...@eng.umd.edu (Wayne C. McCullough)
Subject: Skit - the Medicrin

The Medicrin

as recorded by Wayne McCullough
(original Author unknown)

There once was a medieval village named Trinsic. This
village was being terrorized by a vile monster, the
Medicrin. Each night, the Medicrin would stalk down from
the hills, and devour one of the villagers.

The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to
pool their money together to hire the great hero Erik.
<fanfare>

Erik came and listened to the complaints of the villagers.
He consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and
learned that Medicrins love to eat Loons.

So Erik hunted high and low to find a loon. He found one,
captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village.
He then had the villagers dig a deep pit.

Erik threw the loon into the pit, hoping to capture the
Medicrin, and slay it.

That night, the Medicrin came . . .

It smelled the loon . . .

But it also smelled DANGER, and it ran off,
devouring one of the villagers on the way out.

After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again
consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and
learned that Medicrins also love sugar.

So Erik gathered up all of the sugar in the village, and
threw it into the pit. The loon, not having eaten in days,
devoured all of the sugar in a single gulp. Erik was struck
with panic, and ran to and fro trying to figure out what to
do next, but night had fallen, and the Medicrin would be
there soon, so Erik crossed his fingers, and hoped for the
best.

That night, the Medicrin came . . .

It smelled the loon . . .

It smelled danger . . .

But it also smelled the sugar, and the
Medicrin dived into the pit, and devoured the loon. The
villagers swarmed over the Medicrin, and slew it.

The moral of the story:

"A loon full of sugar helps the Medicrin go down."

Presentation:
The story calls for a narrator, a Hero, a Medicrin, a Loon,
and assorted villagers. The narrator should have a loud,
clear voice. There should be at least three villagers, but
the more, the merrier (up to ten).

The narrator should read the story, and the characters
should act out the parts. I personally feel no props should
be used, and only the narrator should speak.

The narrator should read the story slowly and dramatically.
Purely from the spoken point of view, the only humor in the
entire story is the final punch-line. However, minor
slapstick should be employed by the actors.

This is amusing mostly because of the punch-line. This
story should not be evoked in excess.

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - The little green ball

Hi Folks.
The following stunts and sketches were collected from the Xerox
scouting distribution list and contains items from leaders in
America and in England.
Have fun!

THE LITTLE GREEN BALL

This one is so old, but it appeals to the lads in my troop.
First scout comes on and says 'Oh no I've lost it'
He then starts to search around on the floor.
Second scout comes in and asks what he is looking for.
First scout replies that he has lost his little green ball.
Both scouts continue searching the floor.
Several more scouts come on and are told about the lost little
green ball. even members of the audience can be persuaded to join
in the search. After enough time has been dragged out, the first
scout, sticks a finger up his nose and says "Don't worry I will
have to make another one" YUK!!!!!

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - THE MAGIC DOCTOR'S CHAIR

Characters required, 1 doctor and four patients.
Props required, two chairs.
Scene begins with doctor sitting on one of the chairs.

First patient enters twitching their left arm.

DOCTOR: 'And what's wrong with you sir?'

Patient 1: 'As you can see doctor I have this terrible twitch'

DOCTOR: 'Just sit on my magic chair and you'll get better'

The patient sits on the chair and stops twitching, but the doctor's
left arm starts twitching.

Patient 1: 'Oh thank you doctor. you cured me'

The patient leaves, the doctor still twitching calls for the next
patient.
DOCTOR: ' Next '...... 'And what's wrong with you sir?'

This patient has the hiccups. The process of sitting in the chair
is repeated. The doctor now has a twitch and the hiccups.

The third patient is called in, both his legs keep flicking in the air. The
process is again repeated so that the doctor now has a twitching arm
the hiccups and both legs flicking in the air.

The doctor now calls patient four. This patient looks quite normal,
enters and sits in the magic chair.

DOCTOR: 'And what may I ask is wrong with you sir?'

Patient 4: 'I've got a terrible case of the trots doctor'
The doctor runs off the stage holding his stomach.

Note: TROTS is English slang for can't stop going to the toilet

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - THREE SCOUT LEADERS

The scene is that three scout leaders are sitting around the campfire
swapping yarns, after having had a little too much of the amber nectar
to drink.

[Note: this skit is adapted from the "We were poor" sketch from
"Monty Python live at City Center" -- Danny]

1st leader: These scouts today don't know they're born. I can
remember the scout hut that we had. There was a hole in the roof,
which let the water in when it were raining.

2nd leader: A roof with a hole in it, that were luxury. We had
an old tarpaulin sheet slung over the rafters. Us older lads had to
hang onto it during the meetings, case it blew away in the wind.

3rd leader: Rafters, now there's a luxury. When I was a scout our
hut had no roof at all, and we kept out the rain with some old bits
of sack, held up with twigs.

1st leader: We couldn't get twigs. We had to hold the roof up
with our bare hands. Those were the days.

2nd leader: I remember when us lads used to go to camp. We
loaded all our gear onto an old army truck and drove to the campsite
singing songs.

3rd leader: We had no time for singing. We used to pull all our
gear along on an old cart with wooden wheels. And the wheels used
to get bogged down in the mud.

1st leader: A cart with wheels, now that's what I call a luxury.
We just had an old cardboard box to put all our camping gear in, and
when it rained all our gear would get soaking wet, and fall into the
mud, but we were happy.

2nd leader: Yes, those were the days.

3rd leader: We had some nice tents though, big green six manners.

1st leader: Six manners , luxury, our tents were so small, you
had to sleep sitting up.

2nd leader: We didn't have any tents at all in my troop. We used
to curl up in a hole that we'd dug in the ground, but we were happy.

3rd leader: We couldn't afford a hole in the ground, we used to
sleep in a puddle.

1st leader: Yes these youngsters today don't know they're born,
but if you told them all these things they would never believed you.

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - THE SUBMARINE CAPTAIN

A line of submarine officers on a sub.
Captain sights a ship in the periscope

CAPTAIN; 'Tanker bearing 259, Range 1 mile'
He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate,
down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told.
The torpedo operator just shrugs his shoulders.

CAPTAIN: 'Load main tube # 1 and stand by to fire.'
He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate,
down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told.

TORPEDO OPERATOR: 'I don't know How.
'
Next the captain gives the order to fire down the line, but the
TORPEDO OPERATOR. says "I don't know How..."

This message is returned up the line to the Captain who SCREAMS.

CAPTAIN : "Press the red button."

When this message finally gets down to the TORPEDO OPERATOR. he
follows it, but it took too long so they miss the ship. (More
message passing if you want.) Finally after about three ships
(each time the TORPEDO OPERATOR doesn't remember how to fire.)
The Captain feels disgraced and pulls out a knife and commits
Sepuku (or incorrectly, Hari Keri) or picks up a gun and shoots himself. Each officer in turn picks up the knife (gun) and follows the Captains example until at last the knife comes to the Torpedo Officer Who looks at the knife and says;

TORPEDO OPPERATOR: 'I don't Know How..."

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - IS IT TIME YET?
Line of 5-8 Scouts standing with left foot crossed over right,
right arm crossed over left.

First Scout in line asks: "IS IT TIME YET?" -
Second Scout asks third, etc down the line.

Last Scout says: "NO"
Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time.

After a lonnnnnnnng pause,

First Scout asks: "IS IT TIME YET?"
It goes down the line as before.

Last Scout says: "NO"
Again and the word is passed back.

Another long pause...............

First Scout asks again: "IS IT TIME YET?"
etc and,

Last Scout says: "YES"
the answer is passed back.
Just after the first Scout gets the word, they all change to
right foot over left and left arm over right.

Exit groaning

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - RAISIN SKIT

1st Scout comes out: Gets down on all fours, pretending to be
a table.
2nd Scout comes out, looks at the table and declares;

2nd SCOUT: "Ah, a fly, I think I'll pull it's wings off"
Proceeds to pick it up, pluck the wings, put it back on the table,
and walks off.

3nd Scout comes out, looks at the fly on the table and says;

3rd SCOUT: "Oh, a fly with no wings, I think I'll pull it's
legs off", With great precision and animation, picks up the fly,
removes it's legs, and puts it back and walks off.

4rd Scout comes out, looks at the fly and announces;

4th SCOUT: "Say, a fly with no wings and no legs, I think
I'll pull it's head off."
Then proceeds as the other Scout before him.

Last Scout comes out looks at the table, then carefully inspects
the object with out picking it up and says very quickly

LAST SCOUT: "A raisin !" and quickly picks it up and puts it
in his mouth

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - THE NUTTY FISHERMAN
Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps
pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer
by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few
steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"

Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though
I'm doing?"
Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."

Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."

Passer by: "Have you caught any?"

Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - BEE STING
1st scout "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."

2nd scout "What's the matter with you?"

1st scout "A bee's stung my thumb."

2nd scout "Try putting some cream on it then."

1st scout "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - "PATIENCE, JACKASS, PATIENCE!"

You can ham this up a bit, but here's the gist of it.

Two scouts enter (one on all fours if conditions allow) and move
across stage as the skit proceeds. One is the mule and the other
is the driver. A narrator stands just offstage.

Narrator: "In the heat of the Mojave Desert, the mule driver
pushes his beast toward town. The first day. . ."

Mule: "Water, master, water!"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Narrator: "Still they drive on relentlessly. The second day. . ."

Mule: "Water, master, water!"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Narrator: "Without mercy, they push to their goal.
The third day. . ."
Mule: "Water, master, water!"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Narrator: "Still far from town, they go on. The fifth day. . ."

Voice offstage: "What happened to the fourth day?"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - CAMP COFFEE SKETCH

You need a large dixie or billy in the center of the stage and
four scouts.
In England we have nesting sets of aluminum cooking pots with
a steel wire handle. They look like a small straight sided bucket
or paint pot. These are called Billys or Billycans. We also have
larger cast iron or steel cooking pots usually oval in shape.
Most of these are army surplus and are known as Dixies.

1st scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug
in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )

" THIS CAMP COFFEE IS GETTING WORSE! "

2nd scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his
mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )

" THIS CAMP TEA IS GETTING WORSE! "

3rd scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his
mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )

" THIS CAMP CHOCOLATE IS GETTING WORSE! "
4th scout (Walks to billy, dips his hands in and takes out
a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says. )

"I THOUGHT THAT WOULD GET THEM CLEAN!"

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - THE SLEEP WALKER

You will need three scouts or male scout leaders and one girl scout
or lady leader. You can do this with adults or youngsters, but
do not mix adults and youngsters.

The scene is that three boys are chatting in a group when from
the side of the stage, a young lady walks on, hands in front of her,
sleep walking.
She walks up to the first boy, takes off his tie and walks off
taking his his tie with her.

1st boy " Hey she's pinched my tie." (another word for
Pinched is stole or took)

2nd boy " It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry
she'll bring it back when she wakes up."

The girl walks back and takes the second boys jacket, she walks off
carrying it with her.

2nd boy "Hey she's pinched my jacket."

3rd boy "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry
she'll bring it back, when she wakes up."

The girl walks back still sleep walking, grabs the 3rd boy by the
arm and walks off with him.

3rd boy "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, but don't worry
she'll bring me back when she wakes up."

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - THE LIGHTHOUSE.

cast: 1 narrator
3-6 Scouts for the lighthouse walls
3-6 leaders, counselors, kitchen staff, etc., number to equal
the Scouts and will be 'recruited' during the skit
1 flashlight, or 2 if using 5-6 Scouts

Scouts stand in a circle, facing out, feet spread 2' - 3' apart
but touching feet of Scouts on each side. The flashlight is held
at eye level and is passed around the circle. Scouts stand tall
and hold the beacon's beam steady.
Narrator: "Many years ago the people of a seaside village built
a lighthouse to warn approaching ships of a dangerous shoal near
their harbor. It's beacon could be seen for miles, even in fog
and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse stood firm and give
safe passage to all who sailed by the village.
But as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so
did the lighthouse. The villagers could no longer make repairs,
the ocean's waves wore away the foundation, the lighthouse started
to sag and failed at its duty."
The Scouts now stoop, heads lean to the side and bend their knees
slightly; the light 'travels' a zig-zag path around.

Narrator: "When the schooners and square riggers started to go
aground on the shoals, the old villagers knew they had to call
in experienced people to help with their problem. People who
were pillars in their own communities and who were solid as a rock."

Recruit your favorite 'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct
them to go down on their hands an knees and into the walls.
Leaders are facing in with their derrieres out, and are straddled
by the Scouts who again stand tall and give a steady light.

Narrator: "Now with these new rocks placed into the foundation,
the lighthouse once again shines a bright beacon and stands firm
in the stormy surf to withstand the pounding of the waves."

Scouts drop the flashlight and then hand paddle the leaders.

--------------------------------

From: Unknown
Subject: Skit - SARGE AND THE PRIVATE

Sarge and private walking.

Private: "I want to rest!"

Sarge: "No! we have to finish this hike keep going!"

Private: "But my feet hurt" etc. (Whining.)
Here you can be creative, add a few more excuses...

Sarge: "Absolutely NOT!!!"

Private: "Ill cry..."

Sarge: "Go ahead!"

Private: "WaaaaaaHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
Here Sarge gives in and they rest. Next the private wants to stop
and ' take a wee' (you can always use the "Weeee!" when the Sarge
finally gives in after the same Rigamarole. and next a drink, and
finally food. But this is only a day hike so there is no food.
After more tears, the sarge finds a worm and the private will only
eat it (on the threat of more tears) if the sarge eats half.
Of course when he finally does, the private starts bawling again and
screams

Private: "You ate my half."

--------------------------------

From: brez...@mach1.wlu.ca (James Brezina u)
Subject: Looking For skits...

The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking
for some volunteers from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).

The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge
of the 'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up.
Two tables (the folding type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping
bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on
these tables, the catch is that in between the two tables a person
(another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to
resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping
bags, or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved
close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the
table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the
participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to
make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and
naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten.
Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the
bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should
yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if
nothing else.

--------------------------------

From: nel...@mprgate.mpr.ca (Gary Nelson)
Subject: Skit - A Brotherhood of Scouting

This skit has a Brotherhood theme, and is well-suited to the older sections
(Scouts and higher) and leaders, particularly in an all-sections campfire.
It is best presented near the end of the campfire, when things are winding
down (and the children have settled down).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

BROTHERHOOD OF SCOUTING

People required for the Skit: 6
Cast:
Old Man with a Staff
Spirit of the Beaver
Spirit of the Wolf Cub
Spirit of the Scout
Spirit of adVenture
Spirit of the Rover
(fewer people may be used by doubling up on roles)

Skit Setup:

Index cards can be used by the Spirits if there isn't time to memorize each
role. (Small Flashlight recommended!)

The Old Man is inside the campfire circle, walking slowly with his staff.
He is slightly hunched over with age and leans on the staff heavily.

The Scouting Spirits are evenly spaced outside the campfire circle, just
far enough back not to be seen. (They should speak loud and clearly).

NOTE:
When the Old Man stops each time and looks into the fire, there should be
2-3 seconds of silence before the Spirits speak.

(The memories that the Old Man says aloud should be specific to the group,
so they have relevance to the audience and can feel the full impact of the
skit. Consult with other leaders/ youth for ideas.)

The Skit:

OLD MAN (Shuffling slowly around the campfire)
My life has been long, too long, and my Scouting years are behind me.
My friends are all gone and I am going to die alone. Old and Alone.
(Stops and stares into the fire)

ALL SPIRITS
"SHARING"

SPIRIT OF THE BEAVER
I am the Spirit of the Beaver. When you were young, I taught you Sharing
and Caring for the World.

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling slowly around the campfire)
<Beaver Memory> e.g. "Beavers. I remember Beavers. Riverbanks and the Beaver

Pond, making crafts to take home to Mom..." <etc.> (The Old Man stops again
and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS
"A-Ke-Lah"

SPIRIT OF THE WOLF CUB
I am the Spirit of the Wolf Cub. I taught you to do your best, I led your
Pack through the forest and you lived by My Law.

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the campfire)
<Cub Memory> e.g. "Cubs. I remember Cubs. Hot Dog roasts in the bush, my
first real camp-out, and of course the Kub Kar races..." <etc>. (The Old
Man stops again and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS
"On My Honor"

SPIRIT OF THE SCOUT
I am the Spirit of the Scout. I taught you knots and how to camp without
a trace, and together we explored the land.

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the circle)
<Scout Memory> e.g. "Scouts. I remember Scouts. Long hikes and long camps,
breaking lake ice for water in the winter. And then there was Jamboree..."
<etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS
"Challenge"

SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE
I am the Spirit of adVenture. I taught you leadership and set you free, to
test your limits to the skies.

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the fire)
<Venturer Memory> e.g. "Oh, yes, Venturers. Attending Jamboree as a
Hikemaster, leading people from around the world into the Rockies.
Getting my drivers license and trying to date Rangers..." <etc.>
(Stops and stares into the fire)

ALL SPIRITS
"Service"

SPIRIT OF THE ROVER
I am the Spirit of the Rover. I led you to adulthood and self-destiny.
We chose to give back the love we were given through Service.

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling)
<Rover Memory> e.g. "Rovers. I could never forget Rovers. Helping out at
Dream-On, putting on District campfires. And then there were the Moots
and Road trips. And camps, camps, camps." (Slows down and begins to sink
to the ground. He is dying.)

ALL SPIRITS (Walk straight into the campfire circle from where they stand,
if possible. They should all arrive at the Old Man's body at the same time.
Wait a moment or two.)
"We are the brotherhood of Scouting". <Each section says its name in order -
BEAVERS, CUBS, SCOUTS, VENTURERS, ROVERS.>
"If you grow up with Scouting you are NEVER alone."

------------------------------

From: Jim Speirs <jim.s...@canrem.com>
Subject: skit files

Timothy Eaton [in the USA this could be J.C. Penny or Montgomery Ward]

Number of participants: 4 or more
Props: Articles of clothing

# 2 enters and passes # 1, wearing a hat.

# 1: "Where did you get the hat ?"
# 2: "Timothy Eaton."
#3 enters and passes # 1 carrying a pair of pants.
# 1: "Where did you get the new pants ?"
# 3: "Timothy Eaton."

Others enter carrying new articles of clothing and offer similar
explanations. Finally # 4 enters wearing just underwear.

# 1: "Who do you think you are dressed like that ?"
# 4: "I'm Timothy Eaton !"

The Operation

By setting up a white sheet and using a light behind it, a
hospital operation can be silhouetted onto the sheet, which is
set up like a screen. Ham it up with humorous dialogue,
occasionally throwing a peeled tomato or a piece of raw liver or
spurt of ketchup out to the audience. A good creative
imagination would be an asset here.

The Lost Quarter

Number of Participants: 5 or more
Props: None.

Scene: One person acts as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on
the ground. Another is groping around in the pool of light.
(He's # 1).

A third person enters, sees # 1, and asks: "What are you looking
for ?"

# 1: "A quarter that I lost".

He joins # 1, and helps him search. A fourth and fifth enter and
repeat the above scene.

Finally one of them asks # 1: "Where did you loose the quarter ?"
# 1: (Pointing away) "Over there:.
Boy: "Then why are you looking here ?"
# 1: "Because the light is better over here !"

The Dead Body

Number of Participants: 2

Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him
and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps: "Police,
there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Un, (looking for a
sign), "I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it ?... Uh,
M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag
him over to King and Elm !"

The Short Runway

Number of Participants: 2 (If more are desired, they can be
passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions.)

Props: Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if
required. A compass.

Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.

Pilot : Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ?
Co-Pilot : (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights
over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er
around and have a look.
Pilot : (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell.
I wish the company would buy us some instruments.
Co-Pilot : (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty
compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so
we've got to be on course. (Excited) Look, see that
spot down there, that must be it.
Pilot : Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going
in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)
Pilot : This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut
back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle !
Co-Pilot : (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)
Pilot : QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES !
Both : (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it !
Pilot : Boy that was a short runway !
Co-Pilot : (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !

Bell Ringer #1

Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the
Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and
has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn
how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my
job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round
the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent
over due to hunch.)
Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of
stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)
Hunchback: Yeah ! What do you want ?
Applicant: I'm here about the bellringer's job.
Hunchback: All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the
job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed
by the applicant.)
Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?
Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day
for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over.
Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?
Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.
Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run
up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go
back.)
Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door
closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard
part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here,
close the door.
Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?
Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs.
The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six
months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year.
(Finally arriving at the bell) Alright, now you stand
over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First
you grab the bell here and push it out very hard
(steps back and follows path of bell out and back)
then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all
there is to it. Do you think you can do that ?
Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not
step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the
ground)
Hunchback: Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk.
I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round
until he reaches the ground)
(Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)
Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know
this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)
Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !

Bell Ringer # 2

(The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell
Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a
little more 'hamming it up')

(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)
Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.

(Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think
it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a
cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)

(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)

Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here
yesterday !

Bell Ringer # 3

(To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)

Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.

(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them
like a jumping net. The jig and jog around the performing area.

Gendarme : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?
Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of
that bell tower, and we came to catch him !

The Bicycle Shop

(The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in
a row, as bicycles.)

Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set
up for sale.
Customer : (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.
Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size ?
(Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down.
The second is too big, while the third is too small.)
Customer : I sure like the first one, let me try it again.
Shop Owner: Why not ? (Setting up bike again) There you are,
it's all set up again. (Customer sits on it, and
again it falls down.)
Customer : I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps
falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.
Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just
assembled this morning, and it may need a little
adjustment. Let me get some help.
(A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to
hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.)
Customer : (Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was
the problem ?
Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !

The Lawnmower

(One participant is on his hands and knees as the mower.)

Owner : (Yanking imaginary rope, while mower sputters) This
darned old mower, I can't get it going. I need some
help. (Gets help from another participant.)
Helper #1: So you just want me to yank on this rope, and get it
started ? That's easy ! (Yanking rope)
Mower : (Splutters, bobs up and down)
Helper #1: I'm sorry. I can't seem to do it. Have you checked
the gas ?
Owner : Yes, I have. Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else
has a strong arm. (Selects another participant) What
I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the
starting rope and make it run.
Helper #2: Sure thing. (Yanks rope a couple of times.)
Mower : (Bobs up and down, sputters, coughs)
Helper #2: Sorry, I can't do it either.
Owner : What I need is someone big and strong (Selects a
Leader) (Leader will probably make some comments, but
let him talk and get him to pull the rope)
Mower : (Splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run)
Owner : There. All it needed was a good jerk.

The Lost Lollipop

(Small boy is sitting, crying)

Passer-by #1: (Enters) What's wrong little boy, why are you
crying?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop !
Passer-by #1: Have you looked for it ?
Boy : (Continues to sob) Oh, yes, I've looked under my
bed, in my sock drawer, and even in Charlie's
pocket.
Passer-by #1: I've heard that chanting often works. You think
very hard about the lollipop until you can see it
in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over
again.
Boy : (Closing eyes tightly) Big red yummy lollipop, big
red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop.
Passer-by #1: (Nods approval and strolls out)
Boy : (Continues chanting for a while, then starts crying
again)
Passer-by #2: (Enters) What's wrong, little boy ?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop, and I hunted and
hunted, then this man told me to chant, and I did,
and it didn't work !
Passer-by #2: Chanted ?
Boy : Yeah, like this (Demonstrates, then starts to cry)
Passer-by #2: Don't cry little boy. Maybe we need more help.
Boy : (Turns to audience) You're my only help to get my
lollipop back. Everybody, very softly now, chant
with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy
lollipop, big red yummy lollipop." (Gets everyone
doing it in unison) Great ! I think it's working,
keep going now.
Passer-by #1: (Re-enters) Hi little boy. Did it work ?
Boy : (Loudly) No, it didn't, but I did find a whole lot
of suckers !

The Brutal Miner

(Each character in the skit has a distinctive sound to make when
the Narrator says their name during the reading of the skit. The
Narrator should pause, after reading the name of each character
so they can make their sound and for audience reaction.)

Brutal Miner Grrrrrrrrrr
Tired Wife Oh dear.
Lazy Son (Yawning sound)
Young Daughter (Giggles)
Beautiful Daughter "Ahhhhh"
Handsome Harry Ah Ha !
Automobile Honk Honk
Cat Meow

Narrator:

Once upon a time in the far west, there lived a BRUTAL MINER, who
had a TIRED WIFE, a LAZY SON, a giggling YOUNG DAUGHTER, and a
BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. On the other side of the mountain lived
HANDSOME HARRY. This young man drove his AUTOMOBILE over the
mountains and carried mail to the BRUTAL MINER.

One day, the TIRED WIFE was cleaning the house. The BEAUTIFUL
DAUGHTER was helping her. The YOUNG DAUGHTER was playing with
the CAT on the steps and the LAZY SON was sleeping. The BRUTAL
MINER came out and kicked the CAT. The TIRED WIFE and the
BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER rushed out with brooms and hit the BRUTAL
MINER, but this did not bother him. He grabbed the TIRED WIFE by
one arm and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER by the other and shoved them
into the house. The YOUNG DAUGHTER ran away with the CAT.

Just then, HANDSOME HARRY drove up in his AUTOMOBILE and saw the
BRUTAL MINER beating the TIRED WIFE and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER.
HANDSOME HARRY rushed to the rescue and grabbed the BRUTAL MINER
and threw him down the mine shaft. The BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER flew
into the waiting arms of HANDSOME HARRY, while the TIRED WIFE and
the YOUNG DAUGHTER watched with enthusiasm. The LAZY SON slept
on.

HANDSOME HARRY took the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER in his AUTOMOBILE to
the little church in the wildwood and they lived happily every
after.

Chief Woodpussy

(Each character in the skit has a distinctive sound to make when
the Narrator says their name during the reading of the skit. The
Narrator should pause, after reading the name of each character
so they can make their sound, and for audience reaction.)

Cowboy Yippee !
Old Paintbrush (Whinney)
Chief Woodpussy (Makes war whoop)
Sitting Bull Hee Haw
Emma (Rattles stones in tin)
Timber Wolf Howooooo
Sheriff Bang Bang.
Deputy He went that-a-way

Narrator:

Once upon a time there was a COWBOY who went out into the desert,
riding his horse, OLD PAINTBRUSH. Far off in the distance, he
could hear the TIMBER WOLF. The COWBOY made camp and went fast
asleep, first making sure OLD PAINTBRUSH was secure.

Now, creeping through the desert was CHIEF WOODPUSSY riding his
mule SITTING BULL. He was pursued by the SHERIFF and his DEPUTY.
In his pocket, CHIEF WOODPUSSY had his trained rattlesnake, EMMA,
who was trained to creep up and bite the COWBOY and his horse.
While CHIEF WOODPUSSY crept up, OLD PAINTBRUSH watched the camp,
the TIMBER WOLF howled, the COWBOY snored, and SITTING BULL ate
cactus.

In the meantime, the SHERIFF and his DEPUTY sprang their trap.
"Halt, you are my prisoner !" shouted the SHERIFF. The COWBOY
woke up and mounted his horse, OLD PAINTBRUSH, which frightened
the TIMBER WOLF and EMMA.

Away went old CHIEF WOODPUSSY on his faithful mule, SITTING BULL,
and after them went the SHERRIF, his DEPUTY, the COWBOY and OLD
PAINTBRUSH. But old CHIEF WOODPUSSY led them into a blind
canyon, so that was the last anybody ever saw of the COWBOY, OLD
PAINTBRUSH, EMMA, the rattlesnake, the TIMBER WOLF, the mule,
SITTING BULL, the SHERIFF, or his DEPUTY.

The Compass

Props: A good compass and a map

Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol
about maps and compass.

Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this
way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass
away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing
until you reach your destination. John, you try
that.
John : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)
Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on
a distant object, and use that to find where you are
on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that
big tree on the hill top.
Other boys : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making
suitable comments.)
Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather
around. That wraps up tonight's compass lesson.
There is just one more important point ! Never,
never buy a TATES compass.
Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?
Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is
lost!"

Fishing

(The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)

Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.
Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore.
Ready to start fishing ?
Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.

(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start
fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and
catch more. Continue for several casts.)

Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit..
better get back.
Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X
right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both
row away quickly)

Gathering of Nuts

Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come
here this evening at great expense to create one of my
living nature paintings which will express the
atmosphere of this camp ! First I am going to need some
trees. (Two trees are selected from the participants in
the audience, and are directed where to stand. They
wave their arms gently.)

Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.
(Three birds are selected and they move around the trees
making twittering sounds.)

Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on
everything. (A tall participant stands on a bench and
smiles brightly.)

Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet. I know, some
rabbits hopping around. (Assistant Leaders are chosen
for rabbits)

Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be
the brook, you're always babbling ? (The brook takes
his place.)

Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go
Go original nature scene. I call it "The Gathering of
the Nuts."

Go Cart

(One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')

Driver : Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble ! Now
the front wheel has come off. (Selects member of
audience) Would you come over and give me a hand.
Thanks. (Selected person may have some comments to
respond to - then they are led to the cart.)
Driver : Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's
right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be
the front wheel. Now let me try it again. (Driver gets
on car, tries to start it up.)
Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then
sags and sputters out.)
Driver : Now what is it ? (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart,
lets go and cart sags again.)
Driver : Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help.
(Selects someone else) Please come over here and be the
suspension. That's right, just hold the back end up
there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts
engine.)
Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)
Driver : (Getting off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose.
I'll go and get more help. (Selects more help) (New
help is positioned at rear wheel.)
Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel
(indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll
be a big help. Thanks. (Driver gets on cart, starts
engine)
Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)
Driver : (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now ! All I needed
was a few NUTS to get it going !

Good Soup

Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's
hat would also be useful.

Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.

(Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the
imaginary contents with the spoons.)

Scott : Boy, this is sure good soup.
Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.
David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.
Mathew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.
Cook : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys !
Get out of my mop water !!!

Letters from Home

Props: Two sheets of paper.

Scott: (Enters) Gee, it's always nice to get a letter from home
when you're at camp.
Robin: (Enters) Hey, look, I got a letter from my Mom.
Scott: Me too. Listen, my Mom says she's writing this letter
slowly, because she knows I can't read fast.
Robin: Mine says I won't know the house when I come home..
They've moved !
Scott: Oh, my Dad has a new job with 500 men under him. He's
cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Robin: Our neighbors started keeping pigs. Mom got wind of it
this morning.
Scott: Oh, my goodness. My little brother came home from school
crying because all the other boys had new clothes and we
can't afford any for him. Mom says she got him a new hat
and lets him stand in the window.
Robin: There was a washing machine in the new house. But my Mom
put four shirts in it, pulled the handle and they
disappeared. Guess it doesn't work right.
Scott: My Mom had her appendix out and a dishwasher put in. And,
oh, my sister had a baby this morning. Mom doesn't know
if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because she doesn't know yet
if it's a boy or a girl.
Robin: Oh, dear, there's a P.S. It says, I was going to send you
$ 10.00, but I had already sealed the envelope.
Scott: Well, it's nice to know things are normal at home.
Robin: Yep. (Both exit)

(With this skit it is possible to put each boy's script on a
sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they were
reading the letter. They should rehearse, of course, to make it
sound natural.)

Lunch Break

Props: Lunch bags or pails.

Announcer: We see here a construction site. It is now lunch
time, and two friends are about to eat.

Worker 1: (Opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh !!
Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: Look, if you hate them that bad, I'll swap with you.
(Both pretend to eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very
disgusted) Yechhhh !!! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: O.K... I'll trade with you again. (Both pretend to
eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very
disgusted) Yechhh !! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: (Angrily) Look, if you don't like egg salad sandwiches,
why don't you ask your (wife/mom/significant other) to
make something else ?
Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant other)?? She's got nothing to
do with it. I make my own sandwiches !

New Saw

Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small
north woods lumber town.

Lumberjack: (Enters) My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need
something that will let me cut more wood, or I'm
going to go broke !
Owner : Yes, sir ! For only one hundred bucks you can be the
proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it
will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own
crosscut.
Lumberjack: (Handing over money) O.K. great ! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly) There's something wrong with this
saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half
as much wood.
Owner : Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product.
Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it
another try.
Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back !
(Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted) This darned saw is no good. I
worked even harder, and still it won't cut half the
wood of my old saw ! I want my money back !
Owner : Yes, sir ! Just let me check it out here. (Pulls
starter rope
Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)
Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh ! What on earth is all that noise ?

Puppy in the Box

Props: A cardboard box, and a stuffed dog (or rabbit, etc.)

Announcer: This scene takes place on the street outside a
grocery store.

(Several participants are gathered around outside the store,
chatting.)

Roger : (Enters holding the box) Hi guys, would you please hold
this box for me while I go into the store ? (Exits)
Martin: I wonder what's in the box ?
Gerry : I don't know, but something is leaking out !
Bob : (Rubs finger against the bottom of box, then licks
finger) Hmmm, it tastes like lemon soda.
Martin: (Also rubs box and tastes finger) No. I think it's more
like chicken soup.
Roger : (Returns, looks in box) Oh, you naughty puppy !

Fly in the Soup

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes,
you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for
the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter : (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know
it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !

Someone Chanted Evening

Props: Blankets and rope to make Monk's Cassock.

Friar: Good morning, everyone.
Monks: Good morning.
Friar: For our Matin, we are going to practice chanting. All
together now, repeat after me: (Chanting) Morning,
morning, mor-or-ning.
Monks: (Rather raggedly) Morning, morning, mor-or-ning.
Friar: Not bad, but we need to get more feeling and rhythm into
it. Let's try again. (A couple more attempts are made,
each one better, then on the third try it sounds
excellent, but one Monk chants loud and clear, "Ev-en-
ning".)
Friar: Cut, Cut ! What was that ?
Brother Daniel: What's wrong, Friar ? I thought it sounded good.
Friar: (Breaking into song) Someone Chanted Evening !

St. Peter

Announcer: Here we see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Ian : (Walks up to St. Peter) Hello, St. Peter. I see I've
come to Heaven.
St. Peter: Well, you're not in yet ! First you've got to tell me
how you suffered on Earth.
Ian : Well, I spent a week eating camp food.
St. Peter: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough. (Ian exits
dejectedly.)
Doug : (Enters) Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.
St. Peter: Fine, fine. And how have you suffered ?
Doug : I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my
feet.
St. Peter: Sorry. That's not enough suffering to get into
Heaven. (Doug exits)
Brad : (Enters) Can I get into Heaven ?
St. Peter: How did you suffer ?
Brad : I'm in (Pick someone's name who can take a joke)
(troop/pack/six/class, etc.)
St. Peter: Well, come on in !!

------------------------------

End of part 1, File 'scouting/1_skits/part1'.

-------------------------------------------

This file is part two of skits and yells. Introductory text is contained
in the first file.

Part 2 has been completely replaced by a contribution by Daniel Moss.
As it proved too difficult to merge the file into the FAQ, we dropped
the old part 2 (which has been circulating on rec.scouting for over a year)
and replaced it with Daniel Moss' article.

This file is in digested format, like all FAQ files on this newsgroup.
If you're using nn as newsreader, type 'G %" to split the digest into
individual postings. In bn or rn, typing control-G should cause the
reader to skip to the next posting within this file. However, this file
comes from one resource so it will not split as others do.

This file or parts of it may be freely used, printed and re-distributed
as long as you enclose this paragraph and keep the references to the
respective contributors and to the maintainer(s) (listed below) intact.

-- Danny Schwendener dan...@iis.ee.ethz.ch
Wolfsmeute Nidau/Glockenhof, Sihlstr. 33, CH-8001 Zurich, Switzerland

-- Jack Mortimer jem...@relay.nswc.navy.mil

--------------------------------

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 93 13:35:06 -0600
From: mo...@oodis01.hill.af.mil (GS-12 Daniel R. Mott Mr)
Subject: skits

Well, here are some skits that I compiled together for a project in
my council. I have more as well.

I also have information on other topics, ghost stories, storytelling,
applauses, advancement etc. If you are interested let me know.

Daniel R. Mott

Skits
- Compiled by Daniel R. Mott District 23 Roundtable Staff
Great Salt Lake Council
REFERENCES:

Skits Vols 1 & 2 More Ideas From Young Life;Young Life
The Omnibus of Fun Vol 1; Larry & Helen Eisenberg
Funny Skits and Sketches; Terry Halligan
A Treasury of American Folklore; Edited by B. A. Botkin
Cub Scout Pow Wow Books
The Skit Book 101 Skits From Kids; Margaret Read McDonald

These skits are known as "Camp Skits" because that is where they are
most often performed. They are also used a lot in such things as pack
meetings, troop meetings or troop court of honors. Here are some general
characteristics of "Camp Skits":

1) Short 5) Performed for those you know.
2) No lines to learn; ad lib. 6) Can use any number of actors
3) Performed with little or no 7) Based on a humorous idea or
rehearsal. line.
4) Little or no props. 8) Often based on ideas from a skit
performed elsewhere.

All Face: An Indian and a white man are traveling together. It's cold
and the white man is shivering. The white man is all bundled up and the
Indian has very little on (i.e. pants, no shirt) and his blanket. The
white man complains about the cold and doesn't understand why the Indian
isn't. The white man asks the Indian how he stays so warm. The Indian
asks if his face is cold. The white man says no it isn't. The Indian
replies, "Me all face."

Artistic Genius: The scene is an art show where judges are inspecting
several canvases are displayed. They comment on the brightness, color,
technique, that is used on the different pictures. They select one for
the prize and comment additionally on the genius, imagination, and the
beauty of the picture. The artist is called up and the winning picture
is shown to him. The painter exclaims, "Oh, my goodness, that got in by
mistake. That's the canvas that I clean my brushes on.

Balloon Orchestra: The players in the orchestra each hold a balloon.
They blow up their balloons in unison, then let out the air in a squeak
at a time to the rhythm of some easily recognized rhythm such as "Blue
Danube" or "Jingle Bells". To end the skit all fill their balloons with
air and let go at the directors signal.

Big Game Hunting: Two to four hunters talking together each says that he
is packing a heavier and more powerful gun to shoot with. The first
starts out with a small handgun and the last ending up with a very
powerful rifle, shotgun, whatever. Two others come over who have
overheard the hunter and want to settle a bet. Are the hunters going
after wolves or moose. One of the hunters relies," "Why no, we are going
after mosquitoes!!"

Black Bart: There are several Black Bart skits, all revolving around the
basic plot of the hero chasing Black Bart. The hero and BB come face to
face. BB is cornered, building up the tension. Destroy it with the
anticlimactic line of: "You get the ping pong ball and I'll get the
paddles and I'll meet you in five minutes." Or "Oh, all right, Black
Bart, you use that one and I'll use the one upstairs." Use the latter
one when BB is trapped in some room.

Bonfire: A leader begins to explain how to lay a campfire. The leader
decides to use members of the audience to represent different pieces of
wood. The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers. Some of the
volunteers are bunched in the center for tinder with others placed for
kindling with the "big" logs stacked on top of each other in increasing
larger sizes. The leader then says that the fire is ready to light,
strikes a match, whereupon, several accomplices yell out that its ON
FIRE and dash several buckets of water on the fire.

Candy Store: The leader gives instructions for playing candy store. He
asks that one person take a long string and hold on and then adds others
until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then the
leader explains that this is a candy store because there are some
suckers hanging on the line.

Candy Store: (variation): A candy store owner enters carrying a long
pole. He asks two members of the audience to hold the pole, draping a
blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One
by one customers come in asking for different types of candy, to each,
the owner replies that he doesn't have any. Finally, a customer asks
what he does have. The owner states he doesn't have any candy left
except for these two suckers on a stick, pulling the blanket away at the
same time.

Change Underwear: Have the boys march in, single file, with one boy
leading them like a drill sergeant. The sergeant tells them to stop and
addresses them. He tells them he has some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that they get a change of underwear. The boys cheer and
he cuts them off. The bad news is that they have to change underwear
with one another. The boys groan.

Chief Shortcake: Pick a "volunteer" to be the dead Chief Shortcake
(adult leader) and have him lie down covering with a towel/sheet except
for his head.
Have each boy repeat a line on what to do with Chief Shortcake such as:
burying the Chief with all his worldly possessions, should be burned in
a great ceremonial fire, put in a cave and seal him up, and so on for as
many as you need. The last Indian says that they are all wrong, "i bury
Shortcake" and squirts whipped cream on Chief Shortcake's face.

Chin Faces: Performers arrange themselves with their heads hanging
upside down over the edge of a table with a sheet or other drape
covering their body with holes cut out exposing their mouth and chin.
Place sunglasses just below the chin in front of the neck for "eyes."
The chin becomes the nose, the mouth is the mouth - but upside down, so
to smile you need to actually frown. The "chin face" makes a short silly
speech or sings a harmonious song. Several "chin faces" in a row can
form a singing group or mime a recording. Variation: Have the "chin
face" be a chicken instead of a person.

Contagious Disease Ward: The scene takes place in the waiting room of a
doctor of contagious and communicable diseases, Dr. Ringworm, M.D.,
l.s.d., v.i.p., l.c.b. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or
books. In walks a fellow (a) with an itch which he scratches
periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and attempts to
read but is disturbs periodically by his itch. After a while , a second
fellow (B) comes in with a serious hand twitch. B sits next to A. B
gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to
twitch. When it has been well established that they have contracted each
others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg twitch. Pretty
soon all three have the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a
fourth guy comes in bouncing all over the place and shaking every muscle
in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and are
bouncing around in their chairs. Then a boy dressed like a pregnant lady
strolls in casually and the other four scramble for their lives. If
possible or desired have some jazz music playing in the background for
the scouts with the diseases to keep the beat to.

Court Case: Second person walks in with a suitcase. First person already
on stage asks where he is going and the first person's reply is that he
is going to court. A little while later he comes in with the case and
also a ladder. This time he says that he taking his case to a higher
court.

Court Scene: Guy brought in - "I'm Innocent! I was just picking up
pebbles on the beach!" Two or more with similar stories. Last person
comes on stage either dressed like a guy dressed like a girl or a girl,
saying, "Hi, I'm Pebbles", in an alluring manner.

Crazy Charlie: The scene is set up so that Crazy Charlie is portrayed as
being in a mental institution. It's dinner time and before he can ask
for anyone to pass the meat, someone calls out 37 and the room bursts
into laughter. Moments later 57 is called out and more laughter results.
Crazy Charlie asks the guy next to him what is going on. He is told that
everyone knows each others jokes so well that they have numbered the
jokes.

After a while Charlie decides to give it a trial and call 52, but no one
laughs; there is complete silence. Charlie asks his friend what is wrong.
He friend tells him not to worry that there isn't anything wrong, some
people can tell jokes and some people can't.

Dancing Knee Dolls: Paint faces on the knees of the performers. Use
dresses (or pants and shirt) to dress the legs as dolls with the arms
bulging out. The clothes can be made out of crepe paper, cloth, or real
clothing. Cover the upper legs and body with a sheet. Direct a
flashlight (spot) onto each knee.

Doctor's Office: First patient comes in hiccuping and asks to see the
doctor. The second patient comes in cross-eyed, with a silly look on his
face. The third person can't control his muscles and is all jittery.
They are all asked to sit down. The first person is asked to go in.
There is a real commotion and the patient comes out fine. The same thing
happens to the second and third patients. The nurse tells the doctor it
is time to go home. The doctor emerges with the symptoms of all his
patients and goes offstage.

Doggie Doctor: A person comes to a psychologist and says that he needs
help, he thinks that he is a dog, holding up his hands like a dog
begging. Through out the skit the person acting like a dog, does doglike
things, like scratching behind his ear, whining, etc. Doctor asks how
long he has had this problem. Ever since he was a puppy is the reply.
The doctor asks if he will lie on the couch but the person says that he
can't since he can't get on the furniture. Doctor's advice is to make
sure that he gets all his shots and don't go chasing any cars.

Easter Bunny: The Easter Bunny is out delivering his eggs and the police
arrest him for breaking and entering a house. The police don't believe
that he is the Easter Bunny, but finally decide to believe him and let
him go. He decides to finish delivering and tries to enter another house
where an old lady or man accuses him of stealing. The Bunny says, "Oh
no, not again!" and is run off the stage by the old lady swinging a
stick or umbrella.

The Echo: The club leader announces during the singing that he has
noticed an echo in the room and he is going to try it out (also could be
on a hike overlooking a canyon). The following is a dialogue between the
leader and the echo - a person out of the room or out of sight.

Leader: Hello
Echo: Hello
Leader: Cheese
Echo: Cheese
Leader: Bologna
Echo: (silence)
Leader: (to group) It must not be working now. I'll try again. (to echo)
+ This leader is great.
Echo: Bologna

Elevated Gum: A boy enters chewing gum, acting like a business man, with
a briefcase etc. Walks up and enters a elevator, sticks gum on the wall.
A kid listening to rock & roll on his portable stereo, dances into the
elevator, leans on wall, hands sticks to gum. Tries hard to pull hand
off the wall. The kid looks at the gum, stretches it, picks his nose,
sneezes, etc.; all getting on the gum. Throws the gum at the back of the
elevator where it sticks. Dum, spacey, jock stereotype enter the
elevator, leans on the back wall and the gum gets stuck to the following
places: first head and elevator, then head and hand, both hands, foot
and both hands, both feet and hands, hands, knees, and hand to face. He
finally gets free and sticks gum back on side wall. Businessman enters
the elevator after the Jock leaves, see gum and decides to chew it
again; then leaves.

The Elevator: The scene opens with an elevator operator intoning "Ground
Floor". A passenger gets on and begins to jiggle slightly.
The elevator operator intones each floor with a description of what's on
that floor. A passenger gets on at each floor and begins to jiggle as
well. As the elevator gets higher the passengers begin to jiggle more.
When the top floor is reached the passengers begin to jiggle like mad,
the operator intones bathrooms and they all rush quickly off. The
operator suddenly looks funny, begins to jiggle, shouts "ME TOO!" and
runs off the stage.

Flea: Boys standing in a line, first boy scratches, then second on down
the line, last boy feels it and says "Oh there you are Marvin, I've been
looking all over for you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin (boy
acts as though Marvin has hopped away) you come back here.(goes out into
the audience looking and touching people) There you are Marvin, you've
got to stay here (looks at pretend speck) Hey you aren't Marvin, (puts
it back into the audience) Oh Marvin where are you?

The Firing Squad: A firing squad lines up with a prisoner. The leader of
the firing squad calls out "Ready ... Aim ..." The prisoner shouts,
"Tornado!" The soldiers all run for cover and the prisoner escapes. A
Second prisoner is brought out, the leader calls out "Ready ... Aim ..>"
and the prisoner shouts, "Landslide!", the firing squad runs for cover
and the prisoner escapes again. Repeat this for other natural disasters.
The last prisoner is brought out and having seen the other prisoners
escape decides to do the same thing except he yells "Fire" and the
firing squad does.

Fish Market: Two people, one a fisherman and the other a fish market
managar come on stage and hold a long cord between them. The fish market
man attempts to call the fisherman on the telephone to see if he has any
fish today, the fisherman acts as if he can't hear him. Volunteers are
brought out of the audience and hold the cord between the fish market
man and the fisherman one or two at a time with the market man
attempting to call each time. When several people are holding the line,
the market man is able to communicate with the fisherman. The fisherman
says that he doesn't have any trout but he does have a lot of suckers
hanging on a line showing the line the volunteers are holding up.

Flying High: Boys on a flight to Germany or other destination. They act
up and really give the stewardess or steward (den leader, 11 year old
patrol leader etc.) a hard time. Finally, one of them bumps into her/him
and knocks a tray on him/her. The steward/stewardess smiles and says,
"Why don't you boys just run outside and play."

Four Leaf Clover: A person finds a four leaf clover. He feels sure that
it will bring him good luck. Another person runs into him. They accuse
each other of running into each other. They start hitting each other. A
policeman comes along, the other guy accuses the lucky person. The lucky
person is hauled off to jail. The lucky person reappears, disgruntled
and unhappy. Garbage is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined
by a policeman for littering. The lucky man throws away the four leaf
clover. Another finds it. The former lucky man comes back on stage. The
person who found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a
million dollars and has good luck since he found it. The former lucky
man slumps down, groans, and begins to cry.

Friends of Years - Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is
quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake (jumps off bench
and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish
after fish. Policeman comes in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober
if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends. The
policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says
okay and asks the others to climb into his boat. Goober pretends to row
off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).

Gathering of the Nuts: An announcer asks if the audience will help with
the squirrel's harvest. Several boys dressed up like squirrels with
paper ears, tails, and brown clothes go out into the audience bring back
people known for their crazy behavior. They are gathered on the stage
and the announcer says that the title of the skit will be, "The
Gathering of the Nuts."

Ghostcatchers: Two guys start a ghost catching business. They go to this
house and can't get rid of the ghost. The ghost finally leaves because
one of the guys sings very badly and off key. The ghost can't stand it
and leaves.

Glass of Water: There is a glass of water in the middle of the stage.
First scout crawls across the floor crying for water. He dies
dramatically shortly after beginning his crawl. The second person dies
just short of the glass of water. The third person on his last bit of
strength really hams up his desperation as much as he can. He reaches
the water, takes out a comb, grooms his hair with the water, sighs with
relief and goes off stage.

Granny's Candy Store: Paint a verbal picture of the various scouts
acting as a cash register (person says ching, ching), popcorn machine
(goes pop, pop), door (person holds arms horizontal,swinging saying
creak, creak), tree, chair, etc. Have three guys standing there with no
parts to play. Have several scouts come in one at a time, as customers.
They ask Granny for various items of candy; licorice, gum, etc. Finally
disgusted, a customer asks what she does have, and she says all she has
left is these three suckers standing in the corner.

Hairy Hamburger: A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a hamburger.
The waiter bring out his hamburger. The man starts eating his hamburger
and finds a hair in it; complains to waiter and another one is brought
out. The second hamburger has a hair in it and is taken back. The third
hamburger also has a hair in it. The man gets upset and demands to see
the cook. The cook comes out and the man asks him how he makes his
hamburgers. The cook says that all he does is roll the meat and
demonstrates making patties by placing the meat under his arm and
squeezes.

Herman, The Trained Flea: The trainer has a flea various tricks, when
suddenly he loses Herman, his trained flea. He searches around for
Herman, calling for him, eventually a person is brought forward with a
flea in his hair. The punch line is, "This isn't Herman!"

Hiccup for Me: A boy comes out and says something like, "Hic - I can't -
Hic - get rid of these Hic-ups". Another person comes out and asks what
wrong. He is told and yells "BOO!" to help the boy get rid of his
hiccups. It didn't work. Several more people try various methods to get
rid of the hiccups and they are fail. Last method is tried and seems to
work, but just as he leaves the stage starts hiccuping again, so he
falls to the floor in despair.

How to Make the Team: Two boys, one eats vegetables, exercises,
ballerate (ballet & karate), runs (gets a kid to chase him home-school
bully). The other kid eats candy bars, plays baseball with guys. First guy
(vegetable eater) makes the team and the other kid doesn't. The other
kid says; "What did I do wrong? Whaaa ! ! !"

The Important Papers: The setting can be either a king or a boss in his
office who beckons to a courtier or assistant that he wants his royal or
important papers. The person runs in with a sheath of papers, the king
or boss quite agitated tosses them aside and demands that they bring him
his important papers. Other people bring in other things one at a time
such as a Boy Scout Handbook etc. the king throws them aside and gets
more and more upset demanding that he have his important papers. At last
the some one comes in with a roll of toilet paper (court jester, office
boy etc.). The king knights him or the boss promotes him thanking him
profusely and runs off the stage in visible relief.

Is It Time Yet?: Have several boys standing in a line (facing the
audience) with one arm on the next boys shoulder. The first boy in line
looks at the second and asks the second boy, "IS it time yet?" The
second boy asks the third boy the same question and so on down the line.
The boy at the end of the line looks at his watch and says to the boy
next to him, "No, its not time yet," and this continues on up the line
to the first boy in the line again with each boy saying it in turn. This
can continue a couple times; then when it gets to the last boy, he says,
"It's time!" and when the message gets back to the first boy each boy
moves his arm from the other's shoulder and puts his other arm on the
boy next to him.
Variation: Everyone is sitting down instead of sitting up with their
legs crossed the same way. When the time comes all they do is switch
legs simultaneously.

Mr. Kerplunk: Announce him as Mr. Kerpluk the world renown spitter. He
could be French, German, etc. with the appropriate accent. He says he
will demonstrate several of his famous spits for the group. An assistant
holds a bucket across the stage for Mr. Kerplunk to spit into (tap on
the bottom of the bucket to create the special effect). Here are some
examples of spits to use but be creative in creating your own:

1) Short Shot: He spits; sound effect comes immediately.
2) Riccohet Shot: He spits for a side wall (tree etc. if outside) and
watches it bounce around before it hits the bucket.
3) Long Shot: He spits and follows the long arc with his head; sound
made after a long pause.
4) Fast Shot: Sound effect is made before he spits.
5) Super Shot: Advertised as the most famous. Spends a minute getting
mouth full of spit, checks bulge out and finally spits. Guy in
front stands up and wipes water or raw egg from eye.

Knot Demonstration: A person comes out with a length of rope. He
proceeds to give a knot demonstration some of which do not turn the way
he expects. He has creative and imaginative names for his knots such as
the double hitch back loop tie, clove hitch with a triple loop bight,
etc. The last knot he ties is one that he says that a person can't
loosen. The more they try to loosen the knot the more it tightens. He
demonstrates a temporary version of this around his neck. He pulls on
the knot when he is finishes and exclaims, "Oh no, I've tied the wrong
knot, I,ve tied the permanent version, and leaves the stage choking.

Lawn Mower: One person bends over pantomiming a lawn mower. This "mower"
rumbles and shakes, sputtering, as the gardener tries to start it. It
doesn't start. Other members of the skit try to start it with no luck.
The gardener chooses a volunteer out of the audience to try and start it
and it starts up right away chugging along. The gardener explains all it
took was a bigger JERK.

Lie Detector: A transparent container (i.e. an old vase) and a coin with
a string attached. The container sits on a table with a cloth over it.
Have two guys start up a conversation where one tries to convince the
other that the container and coin is a lie detector. The coin jumps up
and down pulled by another person below the table when somebody tells
the truth. The second guy doesn't believe the first guy that the vase is
a lie detector. Punch line is that the boy with the container and coin
says he isn't lying and that he hasn't lied in his whole life where the
table falls over with the container revealing the boy underneath.

Listen at the Wall: One person goes along a wall listening and
listening. Others come along and ask him what he is doing. He says
dramatically, "Listen," and the others do. One of them says, "I don't
hear anything", in a disgusted voice. "LISTEN", he says more
dramatically and they listen some more. Again someone says, "I don't
hear anything." The original listener says, "You know," with a faraway
look, "its been like that all day."

Living Xylophone: The instrument consists of several kneeling
performers. The player strikes each on the head with a fake mallet or
his fist as if playing a xylophone. Each player utters a single note
when struck. Simple songs such as "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" can be
played this way.

Lost Item around Campfire: First boy searches the ground around the
campfire. Second boy: "What are you looking for, maybe I can help you
find it.
First boy: "I dropped my neckerchief slide."
Second boy: "Where were you standing when you dropped it."
First boy: "Over there." (He points into the darkness."
Second boy: "Then why are you looking over there."
First boy: "Are you kidding? It's too dark over there. You can't see
a thing."

Mad Reporter: The scene is a bridge where a very depressed reporter is
about to jump off (the end of the stage or a platform could be the end
of the bridge). The reporter says that he has had it, can't get a big
story, all washed up and wants to end it all. He calls out, one, two,
swinging his arms when another person shows up and asks what is going
on. He tells him his sad story which encourages him to tell him his;
they both get depressed and decide to jump. They call out, one, two, and
another person shows up. They each tell this person their sad story and
he decides to jump to. Once more they call out One, ... Two, ... Three !
All the people jump except for the reporter who runs off saying; "I've
got a great story, two people jump off the bridge. Wait until the boss
sees this." A building could be used as well as a bridge.

The Magic Bandana: Two guys come out, one is the magician, one his not
so smart assistant. The magician introduces his act and sends his
assistant to a table behind him. The magician facing the audience tells
Herkimer to do exactly as he says. There is a table by Herkimer which
has a bandana and a banana. The magician asks Herkimer to pick up the
bandana and to perform various actions such as put the bandana in his
right hand, fold it in half, fold the four corners together, stuff it in
his left fist and upon one, two, three, it will disappear. However,
Herkimer, picks up the banana, not the bandana and performs these
actions. At the end when Herkimer is supposed to show his fist, for the
disappearance of the bandana, he throws the mashed up banana at the
magician instead. The magician chases him offstage.

Martian Mamma: Mamma is washing dishes, back to baby. Baby says that he
wants a drink. "Right in front of you dear", says mamma. Baby picks up
green drink. Baby says that he wants Martian Cream Pie, getting real
pushy, aggressive, and bratty; throwing the drink on the floor. Baby
tells mamma that he spilled his comet juice. Mamma turns around putting
out two fake arms telling the baby that she only has four arms.

Medical Genius: Setting is the office of a famous psychiatrist. He is
seated behind a table. Nurse brings in a patient with a flowerpot on his
head. Another patient enters and runs around, waving his arms as if
flying. Next patient keeps brushing his clothes and complains about
bugs crawling on him. Doctor says: "For heaven's sake, don't brush them
off on me.!"

Military Genius: Sergeant is drilling a group of uniformed men, who are
a pretty sloppy lot - shoestrings untied, shirt tails out, collars
unbuttoned, hats at odd angles etc. Sergeant drills in a march, but they
go in the wrong directions, trip while turning, and so on. Finally, he
has of the group marching left and the other half marching right. He
instructs them to reverse direction and turn and march toward each
other. Instead of passing between each other, they meet head on and all
fall down. Sergeant weeps bitterly into a large handkerchief, steps
among the prostrate bodies and pretends to jump up and down on them.

Mixed Body Acting: Fasten a shirt backwards around the first person's
neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second person stand behind the
first and put his arms through the shirt sleeves. A sheet is held by two
others behind the head of the singer hiding the second person. As the
first person sings, the second person gestures with his hands. This can
be done with more than one singer. Variation 1: Instead of singing have
the second person trying to do various ordinary acts such eating from a
bowl, tying shoes, cooking such as cracking eggs (on the narrator as one
possibility) etc.

Mixed Up Magic: Child is told to clean room. The child hates to clean
his room so he gets out his book of magic spells and use one to clean
the room. Unfortunately, the room gets worse with clothes etc. thrown in
>from offstage. This happens again twice. The child decides he might as well
clean up this mess and proceeds to do so. When the room is finally
clean, the child is ready to throw the magic book in the garbage. The
child talking to himself says, "Enough of this Hocus Pocus". More stuff
flies in. The child moans not again !

Musical Genius: The announcer makes a flowery introduction about how
fortunate the audience is to have the opportunity to hear the splendid
vocal group about to perform. After the introduction, the group marches
onto stage and lines up across the front. The announcer states that
their first number will be that appealing ballad "The Little Lost
Sheep". Following a short musical introduction, singers open their
mouths and produce a long, loud "Baa-a-a".

The Nurses: The scene is an emergency room at a hospital. The nurse is
totally self absorbed, combing hair, looking in mirror etc. Whether you
have a male nurse or a boy dressed up like a girl is up to you. A guy
runs in, a skier with a pole stuck in his stomach ( a branch could be
used also for a hiker). He is screaming in agony. the nurse insists that
she must ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient
screams that he is losing blood. The nurse continues asking questions
such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of house, how he got there
etc. A phone rings and a Dr. Killjoy asks the nurse out to lunch. The
nurse runs off leaving the wounded man writhing on the floor. A stupid
looking janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the pole out. The
patient stands up, says thanks and leaves.

Offensive Bus Passenger: Players are pretending that they are riding a
bus. There is a bus driver and several passengers. Every time the bus
stops, the passengers holds their nose, coughs, etc. looking at a
specific passenger as they get off the bus. The bus driver complains to
the offensive passenger that he is driving everyone off his bus. The
passenger says that it isn't his fault. The driver accuses him of a
peculiar smell and asks if he has taken a bath, washed his shirt, socks,
feet, etc. The passenger claims that he has. Irritated the passenger
pulls a pair of dirty, smelly, socks out of his back pocket, as proof.

Oh-Wa-Ta-Goo-Siam: A guru with a turban on his head comes out and sits
down in the middle of the stage. Members of the audience are solicited
to take part in the session. They are told to repeat the magic phrase
after the guru. When ever this phrase brings enlightenment, they may
return to the their seat in the audience. All sit cross-legged on the
guru repeating the guru's actions and words. The guru moves his arms and
chants "Oh ... Wa ... Ta ... Goo ... Siam ..." All chant with him. Keep
it up for a long while. Eventually everyone catches onto the fact that
they are really saying, "Oh, what a goose I am."

Old Movie Scene: Run through a short movie scene. Use jerky motions,
flashlight flicker, etc. Just as the scene is about to end, the narrator
says, "Oh no! Something's wrong; it's going backwards!" Then run through
the whole scene backwards. Keep the scene short to only a minute or two.

OOOOOO A Bug!: Have a huge wag of chewing gum (or homemade modeling
clay), green and black, lying on a plate in the middle of a table on the
stage. First boy walks in, looks at the table and comments on how gross
the bug is. Other boys come in one at a time commenting on how terrible
the bug looks, that someone needs to step on it, not sure if it's dead
etc. The last boy comes in asking if anyone has seen his gum, sees the
gum on the plate and tells the other boys never mind picks up the gum
and pretends to put it in his mouth and walks away. The the other boys
comment on how disgusting and sickening that was.

Painting the Walls: In the middle of the singing a person wearing two
coats, holding a paint bucket, paint brush, and a step ladder pushes
through the crowd. He excuses himself saying he is a painter and needs
to do the next room. The leader asks him why he is dressed for winter.
The painter replies that he was told to paint the room with two coats.

Pencil Salesman: A sales manager is trying to teach a dumb salesman how
to sell. The manager tells the trainee to listen to him carefully and he
will teach him how to sell. He gives him the following instructions:

1) Hold pencils in your hand and say, "Pencils for sale." Practice
saying that.
2) Next people will ask how much they are so say, "Ten cents. Three for
a quarter."

3) Then they will ask what color so you tell them yellow.
4) Now they will either buy them or they won't. If they don't buy say,
"If you don't, someone else will."

The manager has him repeat the instructions back and leaves him on his
own. What happens is that the trainee is left on his own and starts
calling out pencils for sale when another person rushing by and the
trainee doesn't notice him and they collide falling to the ground. They
have the following dialogue:

1) The customer asks if he knows how much the suit cost and the trainee
tells him ten cents, three for a quarter.
2) The customer getting mad asks the trainee who do you think I am, to
which the trainee replies, "Yellow."
3) The customer really mad says, "Do you want someone to punch you in
the nose." To which the trainee replies, "If you don't, someone
else will."

At this point the customer beats up the trainee salesman and they leave
the stage.

Pickpocket: "Freddy Fingers and Hands Harry" meet and embrace each
other. They Tell where they've been in the last few years, and as they
say good-bye, one says to the other, "on you may want this." He gives
back his watch. This exchange of articles continues until one hands back
the other person's pair of underwear. Variation: This can also be done
as a contest with one of the finalists ending up with the underwear. The
other finalist looks into his pants yelps and runs off.

Poison Spring: One by one the boys drag on stage crying for water. Each
reaches a bucket with a ladle and takes a drink, splashing some water to
show there is really water in it and dies. Ham up the dying as much as
you want. More than ladle may be needed so that there is plenty of
water to slosh around. The next to the last person starts to drink from
the bucket, when the last person comes in sees all the dead bodies and
yells for the other guy to drink from the bucket, that it is poison. The
last person throws the bucket in the audience which really only contains
rice or confetti; only the ladles had water.

Pie in the Face: This skit requires pie plates, shaving cream, towels, 3
plastic raincoats, or something similar (i.e. plastic bags). At least
five people need to be involved. There is the narrator, the three
members of the pie in the face team, and the person(s) who delivers the
pies to the pie in the face team. This skit works best if everyone in
the skit is serious, official, and ceremonious. Ply up the ceremony and
the official part of he skit.

The skit starts off with the narrator about the history of the grand art
of pie throwing. He introduces the three members of the team who will
receive the pie in the face. The team marches out and stands at
attention.

As the narrator continues to talk a person comes out with three pies on
a tray and hands them to the three members of the pie in the face team.
The narrator describes the various pie in the face throws that have
evolved thru the centuries. In every case the person in the middle
receives the pie in the face. Examples of pie throws are the classic pie
in the face, the pie on the top of the head, the double pie in the face,
the pies on the side of the head, and the swing, miss and hit. You can
have the person in the middle change places and still get a pie in the
face. The last thing that happens is that the guy in the middle who was
getting all the pies in the face gets the other two members of the pie
in the face team.

During all this keep the members of the pie in the face team supplied
with pies. This can go on as long as you would like. Another thing is
wipe off the pie in the face team faces once in a while. Be original and
creative with skit.

Plane Landing: Pilot and control tower voice are located on opposite
sides of the stage area. A out of sight on the pilot's side makes engine
noises. Another person starts the skit by saying, "I think that there is
a plane overhead."

PILOT (yelling loudly): "Pilot to control tower - "I'm coming in. Give
me landing instructions!"
CONTROL TOWER (in loud monotone as if through a microphone): "Control
tower to pilot - why are you yelling so loud!"
PILOT: "Pilot to control tower, pilot to control tower-I haven't got a
radio !"

Play Ball: The scene is set with an umpire, a catcher, a pitcher, first
baseman, second baseman and third baseman. The players run out to their
positions, start talking and acting like they're ready to play ball. The
Umpire tells the players to play ball. Then the pitcher looks around
with a worried expression and starts to cry. The catcher goes out to see
what is matter and starts to cry as well. Follow the same routine with
First, Second and Third Baseman. The Umpire finally asks in expiration
what is the matter. The pitcher replies that they don't have a ball.

Pop Commercial: Have one fellow standing, holding an unopened pop
bottle, the next holding a bottle opener (or stands ready to open the
container, one hand as if holding the container and the other hand
raised over it), the other two doing nothing. The first guy examines the
bottle real close and passes it to third guy who guzzles it, pretend or
for real, and passes the empty container to the last guy. This guy looks
at the empty bottle or container with a sick look on his face and then
burps as loudly as he can.

Potted Plant: A scout pretending to be a delivery boy comes wandering
through the meeting with a potted plant which he says is for Mrs.
Mergertroid. He comes back through the meeting several times each time
saying, "Potted plant for Mrs. Mergetroid." Each time the potted plant
gets bigger. The last time he comes in carrying a small tree. Finally
the leader says there isn't any adults here, just kids. Delivery boy
looks at the card and says. "Oh for heaven's sake. I've been reading it
wrong, the plant is from Mrs. Mergetroid For ; Name of some one in the
unit."

Presents for the Teacher: Kids bring in presents for their teacher on
the first day of school. The teacher can tell what the child's parents
does by the present he brings such as apples from parent's fruitstand,
baker's child brings rolls, candymaker candy. The last person brings in
a crudely wrapped package, with yellow liquid leaking out. The teacher
tastes the liquid and states that his father must run a bottling
factory. The child replies that no his dad is a dogcatcher and that it
is a puppy in the package.

Prisoner: A prisoner is brought before a judge. The policeman says that
he caught him red-handed. Judge asks if it is true and the prisoner
says, "Well, maybe so and maybe not". The prisoner is asked if he has
stolen before and he replies, "Mmmm ... now & then". Judge, impatient
now, asks where he stole these things and the prisoner replies here and
there. Judge tells the policeman to lock him up ! Prisoner asks when he
will get out of jail. Judge smugly says, "Oh, sooner or later."

Reggie and the Colonel

Characters: Reggie, big, dumb, Bermudas, high socks, safari hat,
glasses, down on nose, moustache, carries gun in front of
him. Colonel:short, limp, monocle, no gun, just small
knapsack, has cane.

Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced
English accent.

Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look... Did
you see it, Reggie ??????
Reggie: See what??! No, no, where, where ??
Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a beautiful condor, 8 foot wing span,
beautiful colors.
Reggie: No. I didn't see it.
Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer attention. (They continue walking).
Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: No, what?
Colonel: A spotted Zebra...Wish you'd pay closer attention.
Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie?? Did you see it?
Reggie: No I missed it ... what was it?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.
Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh aah bird??
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays a 3 pound egg, like
this: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(face lights up). (continue walking).
Reggie: Whispers to audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend like I
saw it. I'll fool him.
Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it! (excited)
Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!
Colonel: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!

Restaurant Minutes: The scene is two guys enter a greasy spoon type of
restaurant that has a customer and a grill type cook with a stained
apron. The cook says that all they have is soup and a hot dog. The first
man says he will take the soup and the other man says he wants the same.
The cook tells them if one wants the soup the other has to have the hot
dog. The second man agrees and asks to have mustard put on the hot dog
and the waiter leaves. The third asks if they steal, referring the cook.
The first man says the cook will steal your shirt off your back if he
could. The first & second man get their order, the cook dropping the
silverware, then wiping them off with his dirty apron. Second man tells
the cook that he wanted mustard on his hot dog. The cook squeezes
mustard off his apron onto the hot dog. First man says that there is a
fly in his soup. The cook retrieves the fly out of the soup, squeezing
it, telling the fly to spit it all back. The third man disgusted, makes
a comment and walks out without his pants. His pants have been stolen.

Russian Pianist: The world renown Moresofi Vodka is introduced to
perform his original composition Chopinsky Stickovich. He plays
Chopsticks.

School's on Fire: Scout wanders through area several times holding a
glass of water: When asked what he is doing, he replies that the school
is on fire. Leader: How do you expect to put the fire out with a tiny
glass of water?" Boy answers, "this ain't water, it's gas.

Scientific Genius: The scene is the launching pad of a large rocket
which can be cut from a large piece of cardboard. There is an elaborate
countdown, but the rocket fails to go off at zero. All those present
inspect it and check on a number of highly-scientific-sounding devices -
the supersonic sector wire; the exhaust fin fanstand; the sub-stabilizer
exidizer, etc. All seem perfect. Finally the smallest boy says: "I've
found the trouble. Somebody forgot to put in the fuel.

Singer: A guy comes on stage singing in a terrible voice. He acts
pompous to a friend saying how is such a great singer. Friend says that
he had better quit because of poor health, not the singers, but everyone
elses.

Six Wise Travelers: The six wise travelers came to a river and discuss
ways to get across. One of them sees a boy with a boat and asks him to
take them across. the boy says they can use the boat, but he will not
take them across. The travelers all get in the boat and it sinks. They
scramble out of the river and count themselves, but do it wrong and come
up short a person. This can be done more than once. They tell the boy if
he can find the missing traveler they will give him a bag of gold. The
boy counts them. gets it right, they give him the gold telling the boy
how good he is and that maybe he will grow up to be as smart as they
are. The travelers then jump in and swim across the river.

Sour Notes: The director tunes up the orchestra or chorus and they begin
to make music. One by one each player hits a sour note. Each time the
director gets upset and throws the player offstage. Repeat until only
the accompanist and the director is left. The director then turns to the
accompanist and begins a solo. The director hits a sour note and the
accompanist jumps up and throws the director off stage coming back on
stage with a smug look on his face, bows to the audience and exits.

Slug Trainers: Several slug trainers bring on their trained slug and
deposit it in the stage center. The slug is a person encased in a
sleeping bag. On command the slug performs various trick such rolling
over, leaping in the air slightly, etc. A volunteer is brought from the
audience and is told that the slug is trained to crawl over the human
body. The volunteer lays down and the slug crawls across him leaving a
dribble of water or brown cotton balls. The trainers apologize and
exclaim, "Sorry, but our slug isn't potty trained."

Soldier In the Battlefield: This skit can be played by just one person,
or you can use two. A person in battle dress falls on the ground moaning
that he is about to die. The orderly kneels over him frantically trying to
record his name for the records. He keeps on asking his name, but he is
in too much pain to bother with his name and keeps on asking for help.
In desperation the orderly tells the soldier that he is dying and that
he needs his name to tell his mother. The soldier reply that his mother
already knows his name.

Spelling Contest: Contestants have numbers on their shirts and the
judges have badges to distinguished them from the contestants. Need a
list of spelling words, toy guns (or hand if necessary) and a trophy.
There are two judges and four contestants. Judge #1 asks are you ready
for the annual spelling contest. The contestants say yes and Judge #2
tells them good luck and let's begin. The first contestant steps forward
misses the word and is shot by the judge. Second contestant steps
forward, spells the word, the judges confer, answering right. The third
contestant spells the word wrong and is shot. Contestant #4 comes
forward spells his word, the judges confer, say he is wrong and one
raises the gun to shoot him. Contestant #4 tells the judge wait, he is
sure the word is spelled right. The judges confer again, say the
contestant is right and they are wrong and shoot themselves. Contestants
#2 and #4 say that they guess that means they both win and walk off
together with the trophy.

SPRING: Gather to the front of the group some people to be trees, birds,
and babbling brooks. Then ask for a volunteer to be the most important
part, the hero. When he comes to the front, have him run among the
trees. Have a little narrative and then say; "Maybe the rest of you
wonder when we know it's spring; that's easy, because the sap is running
through the tress."

Statues in the Park: The scene opens with a statue (boy, standing still)
posed as a famous statue such as The Thinker or The Discus Thrower.
Another person introduces himself as Dr. Arthritic Kneecap of the
University of Amputation and Mutilation. He talks about having
discovered a formula to revitalize calcium deposits; even would work on
this statue he says. The doctor pours the bottle on the statue and it
slowly comes to life. The statue and the professor talk about being
alive. The doctor then asks the statue what is the first thing you want
to do. The statue says that he wants to kill 5,000 pigeons with his bare
hands.

Submarine (Version 1): Get one volunteer from the audience and the
den/patrol lines up sitting in a straight line with the volunteer at the
end. The scout in front (Captain) looks through his periscope and yells,
"Enemy Ship!" which is repeated down the line. The Captain then issues
the following commands which are repeated down the line: "Fire Torpedo
One!...."We Missed!"...."Fire Two!"..."We Missed!"...."Fire
Three!"...."We Missed Again, You Blockhead"...."Enemy Torpedo Coming our
Way!"...."We've Sprung a Leak"....as the last command is repeated the
next to the last person throws hidden confetti on the last person in
line; the volunteer.

Submarine (Version 2): This version uses a similar format to format one
with the same commands being given, but the following changes occur: The
scouts are standing in a row instead of sitting. When the command comes
to fire the torpedo one comes, the last person in line says, "I don't
know how" which is repeated upline. The captain says, "Pull the red
chain, push the blue knob" and pulls on the person's nose for pulling
the chain and pushes his chest for pushing the knob. This is repeated
down line. This procedure is repeated for each torpedo firing. When the
captain exclaims "We missed again you blockhead" the crew jumps up and
down and cheers. The captain says, "No, that is bad", to which the crew
hang their head and groan. On the last command, when the captain finds
out they have failed and have been hit, he takes out a gun (hand like a
fist with thumb up and first finger out) and shoots himself, falling
down dead. This is repeated down the line to the last person who looks
at the gun with a confused expression and says, "I don't know how !"

Thar's a Bear: the object is to set up a bear warning system. One at a
time set up five to eight fellows standing shoulder to shoulder. The
warning system is set up by having each of them repeating the following
message:

Leader: "Thar's a Bar." (correct pronunciation is important)
Bear Warner: "Whar?" (be certain that he pronounces it correct, if not
correct him.)
Leader: "Over Thar." (pointing with his right hand and arm extended)
A to B: "Thar's a Bar." (at which point he will probably point, so
correct him.)
B: "Whar?"
A: "Over Thar." (now he should point with the arm extended for the rest
of the skit.)
B - C: "Thar's a Bar." ... and so on until the last one says it to the
leader.

Go through the same procedure with the left hand. The third time have
both hands extended, right leg extended, bent down. Last time the leader
goes through the ritual, he pushes the guy next to him so that the rest
will fall like dominoes.

Three Against 1000: Three guys all bandaged up and smeared with dirt and
blood come dragging into the meeting with the disbelieving tail the
fantastic battle that they had just gone through. "what a battle, what
fantastic odds, we never should have attempted it in the first place, 3
against a 1000, unbelievable; hamming it up. Finally, one guy says,
"Yeah they were the toughest three guys I've ever seen.

Ticket Line: Fans are standing in line waiting to buy tickets for the
big game, movie, or concert. Four fans are standing in line, saying how
much they want to attend the event and wondering when the ticket window
is going to open to sell tickets. A person walks up to the front of the
line. The fans get upset telling him to not butt in line and to go to
the end of the line and began to shove him back. This person tries once
more to reach the front of the line and then gives up and says something
to the effect; "I'm giving up, they can get someone else to open this
ticket window.

Toothache: A boy with a toothache complains to another boy. The other
boy says he will help and pulls out tooth with a pair of pliers. The boy
with the toothache says wrong tooth. Another person comes along and
gives him some apples saying that will cure his toothache. Boy ends up
with a stomachache.
Another person says to tie a string to his tooth and tie the other end
to a door. The door slams in the face of the boy with the toothache. He
now has a toothache, headache, and a stomachache. Another person enters
with some hedge clippers or a axe or something. He says, "I hear you
have a toothache". The boy with the toothache says, "Not that !" and
runs off the stage.

Toothpaste Skit: In this you need two cups of water and four or more
people. The people in the skit all line up in a row in front of the
audience. The first person in line has water in his cup and the last
person in line has an empty cup with some water hidden in his mouth.

The skit starts off with the narrator saying something about this is a
demonstration of how a person can brush his teeth when there is a
shortage of water. The first person takes a drink of water from his cup
and proceeds to brush his teeth with his finger. After a few seconds he
stops and places his head against the ear of the next person in line and
that person's cheeks begin to bulge out as the first persons deflate.
This person (the second person brushes his teeth with his finger for a
few seconds and then puts his mouth against the next person's ear with
the same results and son on down the line until the last person in line
in reached. This person upon finishing brushing his teeth releases the
water he has in his mouth into the cup in his hand.

Tracks: Two boys enter as if following a trail. They begin to argue over
what kind of tracks they are: "I say they are raccoon tracks" "No
they're wolf tracks" "No they're badger tracks ...". The argument
continues until they are suddenly run over by a train. (Several boys
linked together making chuga choo sounds, boy in front has a flashlight.

Trick or Treat: A child comes home with a bag full of treats. The parent
says that he needs to inspect the candy. Gives excuses for not giving
most of it back. After the child leaves, the parent says that he must do
what he has to do to protect the child and proceeds to eat some of the
candy.

Turkey Contest: Four guys dressed up like turkeys waiting for the Best
Turkey Contest with one turkey really strutting his stuff. Feathers can
be made from construction paper and brown type clothes worn. The one
turkey who is strutting his stuff, really wants to win, he preens, even
leaves for a minute coming back with additional stuffing sticking out.
Comments are made about this turkey by the others. The contest begins
and the strutting turkey wins only to find out that the winner gets to
be Thanksgiving Dinner. The turkey starts to run and the judge chases
after him telling the audience how he loves a happy winner.

Twist Mouth Family: A mother and a father had several children, now all
the children had their mouths twisted out of shape except their son
John, who they had sent to college and had just returned. They all got
ready for bed and Mother asked Father to blow out the light. "Yes I
will," was his reply. "I wish you would, "said she. "Well I will," said
he. Father blows upward due to the twist in his mouth. Father asks
mother (use the same sequence of phrases as in the previous sentence),
she blows downward. Mother asks daughter, daughter blows to the right.
Mother asks son (not John) who blows to the left. Finally, John, the
college son is asked. He blows straight and blows out the candle. Father
then says, "What a blessed thing it is to have a son with an education."

Up Harold: Mad Scientist and a monster named Harold. The mad scientist
talks about his greatest creation Harold. The scientist asks for a
volunteer out of the audience. The mad scientist tells Harold to rise
up, walk forward, and then the monster gets near the volunteer to kill
him. Harold grabs the volunteer and kills him and returns back behind
the scientist. The mad scientist goes on about how great his monster is,
repeating his commands for Harold to stand up, move forward and kill.
What the mad scientist doesn't realize is that Harold is reacting to his
commands. The mad scientist continues to gloat as Harold comes forward
and kills him. Harold continues walking toward the audience as the stage
blacks out.

Upside Down Singers: The singers are on stage. An announcer explains
that they are going to sing upside down! They duck out of sight behind a
curtain (a sheet held by two accomplices will do). Placing their hands
in their shoes, they wobble the shoes above the curtain top looking as
they are having trouble standing on their heads and are about to topple
over while singing. They requires practice and the assistance of someone
to direct them. To end the skit let one of the curtain holders become
distracted and accidently drop the curtain revealing the "upside down
singers" in action."

Vampire Snack

Scene: One vampire, standing onstage, takes a can marked "blood", pours
tomato juice from it into a glass and drinks it. The second
vampire enters.

Vampire #1: Mmm. Delicious. Vould you like some?
Vampire #2: no, thanks. I couldn't drink another bite.
Vampire #1: So vat's new.
Vampire #2: Nothing much. I just saw a poor old bum begging on the
street corner.
Vampire #1: You did. Vat did he say?
Vampire #2 He vanted me to help him. He said he hadn't had a bite in
days.
Vampire #1: So what did you do?
Vampire #2: Vat else? Naturally, I bit him!

The Viper is Coming: An office setting with a boss and an assistant who
runs in and tells the boss that his just received a message that the
Viper is coming. The boss get's very agitated and upset repeating the
assistant's message. Several others come in repeating the same message.
They are all in a state of panic when the last person comes on stage
with a squeegee and a sponge announcing, "I'm the vindov viper. I've
come to clean your vindovs. Vhere do I start."

Washington's Farewell: It is announced that a member of the troop has
memorized Washington's Farewell Address and is about to do a dramatic
portrayal of it. A boy emerges dressed as Washington and delivers his
farewell address, "Bye Mom!"

Whistler Precision Drill Team: Acquire an album such as Mitch Miller's
choir whistling the theme song to "Bridge Over the River Kwai", the
"Colonel Bogey March", or one of Sousa's marches. Use as many guys as
you would like to involve. Each boy provides a shirt and tie, a jacket
and slacks, and a pair of gloves. Stuff the arms of the jacket and
attach the gloves to the arms. Arrange the shirt, jacket and tie around
the hips. A face is painted on the boy's naked chest and stomach. A hat
is made where the brim is three feet in diameter with a hole that will
fit over the shoulders. The bowl of the hat can be made out of some
cheap cloth, large enough so that a guy can hold his hands over his head
and yet have the brim of the hat come just below his shoulders. The brim
can be made out of cardboard. The overall effect is that of some very
short guys with very big heads. They march around the stage like a
precision team to one of the above tunes, acting as if they're whistling
by sucking their stomachs in and out. If desired, the shirt, tie, and
pants can also be easily substituted with a scout shirt, neckerchief and
pants. The hat can be made to resemble a scout hat.

Who Sneezed: One boy plays sergeant and the rest line up in a row facing
the audience. The sergeant tells them to come to attention for
inspection. The last boy in line sneezes. The sergeant asks who sneezed
and doesn't get an answer. He asks the man who sneezed to step forward
in a threatening and commanding tone. The sergeant asks the first boy if
he sneezed and he denies it. The sergeant shoots him. The next boy in
line is asked if he sneezed and he replies, "Not since I was 10 years
old." The sergeant shoots him. Each boy has a different answer as to why
he didn't sneeze and the sergeant shoots each one until the last boy is
reached. This boy really worried and shaking, admits that he sneezed but
pleads to the sergeant not to shoot him. The sergeant says that he isn't
going to shoot him but just wanted to say GESUNDHEIT !

Woman/Man Disrobing: A woman throws a whole extra set of clothes over a
screen that she is standing behind. She throws them over a piece at a
time until the screen starts to fall over. She screams and as the screen
falls the audience see her standing behind it, fully clothed.

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End of rec.scouting FAQ #9
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