Bad Corporate Slogans Of The World #517
James Kibo Parry
On some ramen:
"SMACK: The Kiss Of Quality"
-- K.
Matt's Little Sister: I WASN'T SMACKING HIM, I
WAS KISSING HIM WITH MY FIST!!!!
Jeff Gerstmann
:
: On some ramen:
:
: "SMACK: The Kiss Of Quality"
LOOK RITE THERE!!!11!! KIBO IS PUSHING HARD DRUGS ON THE INTERNET!!!!111!
GOOD THING I WAS HERE TO SEE IT NOW I CAN TELL THE AUTHORITIES AND TELL
THEM THAT KIBO THE USENET GURU TYPE DOOD IS SELLING SMACK!!!!11!
--
A A A R
Jeff Gerstmann http://www.wco.com/~jeffg/
Anger is my business and business is good.
"Yeah, I quote myself in my .sig. I'm that lame." -Me
K.M. Mennie
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
: Matt's Little Sister: I WASN'T SMACKING HIM, I
:WAS KISSING HIM WITH MY FIST!!!!
This isn't `Matt's little sister.' This is one of Gary Lautens' tykes, as
quoted in one of Lautens' `Toronto Star' pap columns on Xian family life
as lived in 1970s Canadian suburbs. `Matt's little sister' would be well
advised to properly attribute her sources.
*-+-------------+------*---------------------------------+----------*--+
<http://aaln.org/ht_lit/> <news:alt.fan.kia-mennie>
<http://superior.carleton.ca/~kmennie> <mailto:k...@aaln.org>
*-+-------------+------*---------------------------------+-----------*--+
Ad mari usque ad mare / A little water with that whisky
Matthew J. McIrvin
In article <kibo-25049...@news.std.com>, ki...@world.std.com (James
"Kibo" Parry) wrote:
> Matt's Little Sister: I WASN'T SMACKING HIM, I
> WAS KISSING HIM WITH MY FIST!!!!
WARNING: JOKE EXPLAINED BELOW:
Technically, the remark to which he is referring wasn't one of my sister's,
it was invented by an ingenious child of one of my mother's co-workers.
To wit: "I wasn't stepping on the baby, I was kissing him with my foot."
Sort of Bil Keane in the Realm of Intermittent Darkness.
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
Matthew J. McIrvin
In article <4loe0t$5...@bertrand.ccs.carleton.ca>,
kme...@superior.carleton.ca (K.M. Mennie) wrote:
> This isn't `Matt's little sister.' This is one of Gary Lautens' tykes, as
> quoted in one of Lautens' `Toronto Star' pap columns on Xian family life
> as lived in 1970s Canadian suburbs. `Matt's little sister' would be well
> advised to properly attribute her sources.
Interesting. It's possible that I may have absorbed this nth-hand in
urban-legend form (whether or not it originated with Lautens-- it sounds,
come to think of it, like the sort of thing that's been floating around
for a century or so and periodically finds its way into Ann Landers
columns) and transformed it into a fabricated memory about my mother's
co-worker's kid (not my sister).
I actually vividly remember *hearing the kid say it* (in "kissing him with
my foot" form) first-hand, but I am perfectly willing to believe that this
is completely bogus, since there are hundreds of people who remember
seeing the "That'd be the butt, Bob" episode of "The Newlywed Game," not
to mention UFO abductees.
Bruce Ediger
mmci...@world.std.com (Matthew J. McIrvin) wrote:
:is completely bogus, since there are hundreds of people who remember
:seeing the "That'd be the butt, Bob" episode of "The Newlywed Game," not
Of course that's a fabricated memory. The "That'd be the butt, Bob" answer
was from "The Dating Game", not "The Newlywed Game"!!!
Teg Pipes
James Kibo Parry wrote:
>
> On some ramen:
>
> "SMACK: The Kiss Of Quality"
>
Did it have a little picture of the smiling face
of Allen Ginsburg next to the slogan?
Hey, the Beatles sold out, it's high time
that the Beat writers did. And they might
as well endorse the products with which they're
most familiar.
-Teg "Did I ever tell you about the guy who
taught his asshole to talk?"
James Kibo Parry
In article <mmcirvin-250...@news.std.com>,
mmci...@world.std.com (Matthew J. McIrvin) wrote:
The wasn't the joke. The joke was that your little baby sister used to
beat you up a lot.
-- K.
Also you lost every game of "Coke Wins".
Ben Weiner
mmci...@world.std.com (Matthew J. McIrvin) writes:
>I actually vividly remember *hearing the kid say it* (in "kissing him with
>my foot" form) first-hand, but I am perfectly willing to believe that this
>is completely bogus, since there are hundreds of people who remember
>seeing the "That'd be the butt, Bob" episode of "The Newlywed Game," not
>to mention UFO abductees.
There are hundreds of people who remember seeing UFO abductees?
I should hope so - just count up all the psychologists and NPR
commentators who lurk around the UFO abduction conferences to
get grist for their books on What It Means. Unless, of course,
all those people are MISSING. In which case, I am very, very
WORRIED.
Or maybe you meant there are hundreds of UFO abductees (as apart
from people?) who remember seeing the "That'd be in the butt, Bob"
episode of the Newlywed Game? I guess that makes more sense.
Ben.
P.S. You know, people, this "kissing him with my foot" is one of those
things that's just kinda _obvious_ to an precocious child, I'm
sure it's been re-invented many times. Co-evolution, and all
that. Like the way many languages have a word like "Mama."
Or how "Kibo" means "Kibo" in Chagga, which is spoken in
Tanzania.
E. Holmes (Staff Matron)
Bruce Ediger wrote:
/
/mmci...@world.std.com (Matthew J. McIrvin) wrote:
/:is completely bogus, since there are hundreds of people who remember
/:seeing the "That'd be the butt, Bob" episode of "The Newlywed Game," not
/
/Of course that's a fabricated memory. The "That'd be the butt, Bob" answer
/was from "The Dating Game", not "The Newlywed Game"!!!
Of course none of you can be expected to have any firsthand knowledge
of these shows; you have to be old enough to have watched them & even
old enough to have children and thus watching Nick at Night where you
could see the episode of the Bob Newhart show (psychologist Bob) from
whence this quote originates.
Matron
Matthew J. McIrvin
In article <318438...@onramp.net>, "E. Holmes (Staff Matron)"
<eho...@onramp.net> wrote:
> Of course none of you can be expected to have any firsthand knowledge
> of these shows; you have to be old enough to have watched them & even
> old enough to have children and thus watching Nick at Night where you
> could see the episode of the Bob Newhart show (psychologist Bob) from
> whence this quote originates.
Well, it wasn't actually *said* on the air, it was just *implied*.
(Theme fanfare, zoom in on building. Cut to Bob's office. Bob is
on the phone.)
"You... you say you and your... your wife have... have... made love...
in... unusual places?
Uh-huh? Uh-huh?... Yes?...
And... and where would... would you say the most... uh... the most
un... unusual place would be?
Uh... you say...
Uh... ha-ha... no kidding?
Uh, no, that's... ha-ha... that's not what I meant..."
Louis Nick III
Ben Weiner <bwe...@electron.rutgers.edu> wrote:
> Like the way many languages have a word like "Mama."
> Or how "Kibo" means "Kibo" in Chagga, which is spoken in
> Tanzania.
This reminds me of a fairly good yet totally unrecognized sci-fi book
called _Evolution's End_ by Ian somebody or other. In the beginning, this
big meteor that turns into this huge biological growth (called the
Chaga) crashes on Mt. Kilimanjaro.
It hit Kibo. The book says so.
Seriously.
Louis "Ouch, right in his grep cache" Nick
P.S. Of course, you probably got this via HIVEMIND months ago.
P.P.S. I was borrowing a covered truck th other day to help my parents
move. I was putting stuff in it, and I had the tail open and the doors
and separator windows open, but there was a bee in there that insisted on
trying to get out of the bed cover's window. My dad admired the thing's
collosal stupidity, considered the breeze coming through the truck that
should have indicated to the bee that there was air moving, thus there was
a way out. So I said "The bee's part of a HIVEMIND, and he need at least
a few more hundred bees to do the thinking for him so he can work the
problem out. Everything else is instinct.
That's why I'm glad that you people are there to think for me, so I don't
act on my instincts, except my trolling instincts.
In the future, we'll have JELLYFISHMIND-N-BODY so we can digest food for
each other, think for each other, work at subway for each other, even
menstruate for Bev.
This sort of thinking also explains CORELDRAW, where the core of the
system is the same sort of crap that went into the first paint programs,
which died and hardened, and the rest of the program is built up around
that. I mean, who uses FILL these days, anyway?
--
"If an atomic-powered taxi hit an atomic-powered streetcar at Forty-second
and Lex, it could completely destroy the whole Grand Central area."
John W. Campbell Jr.
Louis Nick III sn...@u.washington.edu alt.religion.louis-nick