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Let's hope this doesn't catch on

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Manfred von Richthofen

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Mar 16, 2003, 12:11:03 AM3/16/03
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In the course of business, on occasion I need to call a big
company. I expect to have to negotiate a phone tree to get to
the big company part I need. This can be a peeve, but I got a
new speaker phone so the press one for x and two for y, please
hold for the next Customer Service Agent routine is not generally
too onerous.

But there seems to be something new.

I had to call a big company, which shall remain nameless,* for
one reason or another. Got the automated message, but this time
it required me to speak to it. And when I tried to speak to it
over the speaker, it had the balls to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't
hear you."

Bloody hell. I'm not all that excited about talking to your CSA,
I'm really having trouble working up any enthusiasm for talking
to your phone system. At least when I push a button, I know that
the right tone got down the line. I've never had one say, "I'm
sorry, I didn't hear which button you pushed." Voice navigation
is slower, less reliable, and more to the point, pisses me off.

Just because a thing can be done is no reason to believe that it
should be done. How in hell could anyone think that this was a
good idea?


*It was Hewlett-Packard

Alan Gore

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Mar 16, 2003, 6:30:07 PM3/16/03
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Manfred von Richthofen <sdan...@gorge.net> wrote:

>... At least when I push a button, I know that


>the right tone got down the line. I've never had one say, "I'm
>sorry, I didn't hear which button you pushed."

Then you've never had to deal with a credit card company menu tree. At
some early point in the sequence, it will ask that I enter the
15-digit card number, followed by pound. After I squint to read and
enter those silver-on-silver numbers, I usually get "Sorry, I did not
understand your input".

ag...@qwest.net | "Giving money and power to the government
Alan Gore | is like giving whiskey and car keys
Software For PC's, Inc. | to teenaged boys" - P. J. O'Rourke
http://www.alangore.com

Julian Macassey

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Mar 16, 2003, 11:49:52 PM3/16/03
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On Sat, 15 Mar 2003 21:11:03 -0800, Manfred von Richthofen
<sdan...@gorge.net> wrote:
>
>
> I had to call a big company, which shall remain nameless,* for
> one reason or another. Got the automated message, but this time
> it required me to speak to it. And when I tried to speak to it
> over the speaker, it had the balls to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't
> hear you."

Voice recognition rarely works when demo-ed. I have no
idea why any PHB would insist on it.

I suppose if they think Microsoft Exchange works, they
think Voice Recognition works too.

> *It was Hewlett-Packard

Not the company they used to be.


--
"I think every motorcycle bar should be just packed with delicate little
unescorted girls. And all bars should also serve ham." --Mr. Bad

Peter Stickney

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Mar 17, 2003, 2:07:34 AM3/17/03
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In article <qoqcnUee0uh...@speakeasy.net>,

jul...@tele.com (Julian Macassey) writes:
> On Sat, 15 Mar 2003 21:11:03 -0800, Manfred von Richthofen
> <sdan...@gorge.net> wrote:
>>
>>
>> I had to call a big company, which shall remain nameless,* for
>> one reason or another. Got the automated message, but this time
>> it required me to speak to it. And when I tried to speak to it
>> over the speaker, it had the balls to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't
>> hear you."
>
> Voice recognition rarely works when demo-ed. I have no
> idea why any PHB would insist on it.

I concur. Voice recognition will not be mature until a system can
transcribe "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" with 95%
accuracy, in real time.

(Actually, that's about what it'd take)

--
Pete Stickney
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many
bad measures. -- Daniel Webster

Julian Macassey

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Mar 18, 2003, 1:18:49 AM3/18/03
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On Mon, 17 Mar 2003 02:07:34 -0500, Peter Stickney <pe...@adelphia.net> wrote:
> In article <qoqcnUee0uh...@speakeasy.net>,
> jul...@tele.com (Julian Macassey) writes:
>>
>> Voice recognition rarely works when demo-ed. I have no
>> idea why any PHB would insist on it.
>
> I concur. Voice recognition will not be mature until a system can
> transcribe "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" with 95%
> accuracy, in real time.
>
> (Actually, that's about what it'd take)

Here's my test:

"What a way to wreck a nice beach"

Say that a few times.


--
Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners'.
- O'Rourke, P.J. (1989), Holidays in hell.

Adrian Smith

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Mar 18, 2003, 7:22:05 AM3/18/03
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pe...@adelphia.net (Peter Stickney) wrote in message news:<m7s35b...@Mineshaft.local>...

> In article <qoqcnUee0uh...@speakeasy.net>,
> jul...@tele.com (Julian Macassey) writes:
> > Voice recognition rarely works when demo-ed. I have no
> > idea why any PHB would insist on it.
>
> I concur. Voice recognition will not be mature until a system can
> transcribe "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" with 95%
> accuracy, in real time.
>
> (Actually, that's about what it'd take)

Those of us who do not insist on being accompanied by a full backing
band when singing into voicemail systems may have less exacting
requirements. If people can talk to something with the speed and
clarity they'd use with a fairly advanced non-native speaker it'll
likely be good enough for a lot of things. The capacity of the system
to parse the content will probably be a greater source of frustration.

Figuring out lyrics can be a bugger at the best of times - a couple of
ex-nephews-in-law of mine were once quite surprised to learn that
Dylan had not been singing 'The ants are my friends'.

--
Adrian Smith

E Varden

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Mar 18, 2003, 12:09:37 PM3/18/03
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Adrian Smith wrote:
>
.
.
.

.
> Figuring out lyrics can be a bugger at the best of times - a couple of
> ex-nephews-in-law of mine were once quite surprised to learn that
> Dylan had not been singing 'The ants are my friends'.

!Peeve: Those mistakes are called "Mondegreens", and are hilarious
(as is the origin of "mondegreen").


http://www.quinion.com/words/articles/monde.htm (etc.)

Alan Gore

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Mar 18, 2003, 2:45:48 PM3/18/03
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E Varden <jp...@munge.vif.com> wrote:

>!Peeve: Those mistakes are called "Mondegreens", and are hilarious
>(as is the origin of "mondegreen").

Remember the gospel song "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear?"

Don Homuth

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Mar 18, 2003, 3:44:02 PM3/18/03
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On Tue, 18 Mar 2003 19:45:48 GMT, ag...@qwest.net (Alan Gore) wrote:

>E Varden <jp...@munge.vif.com> wrote:
>
>>!Peeve: Those mistakes are called "Mondegreens", and are hilarious
>>(as is the origin of "mondegreen").
>
>Remember the gospel song "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear?"

And the Xmas carols, with the phrases like:

"Round Johm, virgin...."

"With the jelly toast proclaim..."

and my personal favorite,

"While shepherds washed their socks by night..."

Stevet Thompson

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Mar 18, 2003, 9:23:26 PM3/18/03
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dhom...@attbi.com (Don Homuth) wrote in message news:<3e778475....@netnews.attbi.com>...

> On Tue, 18 Mar 2003 19:45:48 GMT, ag...@qwest.net (Alan Gore) wrote:
> >E Varden <jp...@munge.vif.com> wrote:
> >>!Peeve: Those mistakes are called "Mondegreens", and are hilarious
> >>(as is the origin of "mondegreen").
[snip examples]

And for those of us who are a little younger, who could forget this
topical classic: A flock of Seagulls, "I Ran" ...And I ran / I ran
so far away...

In fact, that's so tasteless that I'm tempted to cross-post. But I
won't.

Other notables:

The Spoons, "No electrons"
Dire Straits, "Sultans of suade"
Lloyd Cole, "4MB"
etc.

If anyone would like any more ear-worms, just ask...
Oh wait. Some of those were real. Nevermind.


Regards,

Steve

Andy Walton

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Mar 19, 2003, 1:22:01 AM3/19/03
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In article <m7s35b...@Mineshaft.local>, Peter Stickney
<pe...@adelphia.net> wrote:

> In article <qoqcnUee0uh...@speakeasy.net>,
> jul...@tele.com (Julian Macassey) writes:
> > On Sat, 15 Mar 2003 21:11:03 -0800, Manfred von Richthofen
> > <sdan...@gorge.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >> I had to call a big company, which shall remain nameless,* for
> >> one reason or another. Got the automated message, but this time
> >> it required me to speak to it. And when I tried to speak to it
> >> over the speaker, it had the balls to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't
> >> hear you."
> >
> > Voice recognition rarely works when demo-ed. I have no
> > idea why any PHB would insist on it.
>
> I concur. Voice recognition will not be mature until a system can
> transcribe "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" with 95%
> accuracy, in real time.

By that standard, my voice recognition wetware isn't mature. At least
without an "open paren" and "close paren" thrown in.

--
"The problem with the world is that everyone is
a few drinks behind." -- Humphrey Bogart
--------------------------------------------------
Andy Walton * http://atticus.home.mindspring.com/

Andy Walton

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Mar 19, 2003, 1:24:59 AM3/19/03
to
In article <b9ae8e0f.03031...@posting.google.com>, Adrian
Smith <adrian_...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Figuring out lyrics can be a bugger at the best of times - a couple of
> ex-nephews-in-law of mine were once quite surprised to learn that
> Dylan had not been singing 'The ants are my friends'.

Oh, goody! A Mondegreen thread!

Andy "there's a bathroom on the right" Walton

--
"There's so much comedy on television.
Does that cause comedy in the streets?" -- Dick Cavett

Stevet Thompson

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Mar 19, 2003, 8:42:46 AM3/19/03
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Andy Walton <att...@mindspring.com> wrote in message news:<190320030124592974%att...@mindspring.com>...

> In article <b9ae8e0f.03031...@posting.google.com>, Adrian
> Smith <adrian_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > Figuring out lyrics can be a bugger at the best of times - a couple of
> > ex-nephews-in-law of mine were once quite surprised to learn that
> > Dylan had not been singing 'The ants are my friends'.
>
> Oh, goody! A Mondegreen thread!
>
> Andy "there's a bathroom on the right" Walton

CCM?


Regards,

Steve

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