20 Things I Learned Watching The Phantom Menace
Lawrence Person
review. -LP)
1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel is
common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year
old with a slingshot.
3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
their opponents.
5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly
proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
hopes to sell to small children.
7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.
8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes, a
red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for some reason left
his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
Blackbird covered in chrome.
10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
tea?")
12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include acting lessons.
13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy you're in.
14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
their entourage.
15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford Brimley
16. If you took out all the scenes with direct equivalents in the first
three Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace would be 15 minutes long.
17. Most of those 15 minutes would be plot holes and special effects.
18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
member of the Skywalker family.
19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did as
Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
dummy would.
--
Lawrence Person
lawr...@bga.com
New issue of Nova Express Now Available!
Nova Express Website: http://www.delphi.com/sflit/novaexpress/
SD
Thek...@innocent.com (Xav) wrote:
>Boy, you actually take time to write this when everybody else is out
>there at the movies having a fun time ??
>
>I can see why some people have no lives, spending their spare time
>bashing other people's enjoyment of movies.
>
>A simple 'i didnt like it heres why' would have sufficed.
>
>Cheers
>Xav
>
Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
--
Remove "MANGO" from email adress to contact me.
Lucas has killed Star Wars, but not in a heroic way,
as Obi Wan was killed, but in a lingering and humiliating way.
Laurie D. T. Mann
> 5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
Um, I haven't seen the movie yet but Palpatine is mentioned
at least once in one of the first set of movies. I didn't
realized Lucas was..."psychic."
--
Laurie D. T. Mann ** Geek Feminist ** lm...@city-net.com
Dead People Server ** Trivia Maven ** http://dpsinfo.com
Joel Rosenberg
Xav>
Xav>
Xav>
Xav> On Thu, 20 May 1999 20:24:00 -0400, MA...@GUAVA.COM (SD)
Xav> wroth:
>> Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
Xav> people are in when seeing this movie......which is sad for
Xav> them, they COULD have enjoyed it.
Xav>
Hey, I enjoyed the movie a lot, and intend to see and enjoy it again.
But every one of his criticisms was spot on, and most were funny.
--
--------------------------------------
The haunting fragrance of her mysterious
perfume lingered with me long after the
blinding sting of her pepper spray had faded.
SD
Thek...@innocent.com (Xav) wrote:
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 20:24:00 -0400, MA...@GUAVA.COM (SD) wroth:
>
>>Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
>
>It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
>when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
>enjoyed it.
>
>Cheers
>Xav
Gee thanks. So now people aren't allowed to be negative? Yes man.
tdean
When A Jedi I Am
>when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
>enjoyed it.
>
>Cheers
>Xav
So, if someone decides to poke fun at something just for kicks, they
automatically have a negative outset? I absolutely LOVED the movie, but I
thought Lawrence's post was hilarious! Number 18 (the one about starships
and the Skywalker family) was the best!
Milo D. Cooper
>> Xav wrote:
>>
>> Boy, you actually take time to write this when everybody else is out
>> there at the movies having a fun time ??
>>
>> I can see why some people have no lives, spending their spare time
>> bashing other people's enjoyment of movies.
>>
>> A simple 'i didnt like it heres why' would have sufficed.
>
It certainly was (and I liked TPM). Lighten up, "Xav."
PS: BtW, I can tell you're a Star Wars fan. Get over it.
--
____________________________________________________
| Milo D. Cooper http://www.milos-chalkboard.net/ |
| |
| Stanley Kubrick (1928 - 1999) |
| Rest In Peace |
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
SD
Bernardi" <lber...@home.com> wrote:
>23. It's taboo to kill human characters now, yet droids, despite the fact
>that they're sentient in SW, are fair game.
Naw, some human extras got axed, as did our freind Jinn.
rogue 2
> I enjoyed the movie, and also found your post to be quite funny. Its very
> true. Those battle droids would have trouble taking out the Telletubies! I
> kept expecting thst one driod questioning QuiJob (or whatever his name was)
> to cut into a Butthead voice and say "well, you're like under arrest or
> something. They were so inept.
Droids in general seem to be pretty clumsy in all 4 movies, with the major
exception of R2D2. Maybe that's why the Empire ends up going with good old
stormtroopers. Hmmm....
Captain Chad
Lawrence Person <lawr...@bga.com> wrote in message
news:lawrence-200...@apm5-178.realtime.net...
<snip>
| 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
Actually, yes. When creating a light saber, a Jedi uses the force to
manipulate the hardware at a molecular level. It's not possible to do this
without the force. Once an apprentice Jedi can create a light saber,
his/her skills are considered complete.
| 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
| mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
| by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
| tea?")
I've heard the rumor that C-3PO and R2-D2 received a memory wipe somewhere
between Episode III and IV. Sounds realistic to me.
<snip>
-- Chad
-=<+>=-
Boyd Campbell
> >5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
> >
> play it like Clinton. But I agree with you - Palpatine is much more
> Clintonesque.
Which might relate to Palpitane's line about the chancellor
being mired by "baseless accusations". Remember that Spielburg
is one of Clinton's bigger supporters and one of Lucas's best
friends inferring that perhaps Lucas is a Clinton supporter as
well.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
= Email: cam...@netdoor.com
=
= http://www.aboyd.com
=
= The King Kong Page is now at
= http://www.aboyd.com/kong/
=
= Visit the Creepy Critter Store at
= http://www.aboyd.com/toys/critters1.html
=
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Fred Q
Helen & Bob
Lord Jubjub wrote:
>
>
> Why do you think the Empire stopped using them?
> --
> Lord Jubjub, Ruler of the Jabberwocky, Guardian of the Wabe
They started using Borogroves instead? Or Mome Raths?
Bob
Xav
there at the movies having a fun time ??
I can see why some people have no lives, spending their spare time
bashing other people's enjoyment of movies.
A simple 'i didnt like it heres why' would have sufficed.
Cheers
Xav
PS : btw, i can tell youre a Star Trek fan. Get over it.
On Thu, 20 May 1999 19:06:27 -0500, lawr...@bga.com (Lawrence Person)
wroth:
>(Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a single
>review. -LP)
>
>1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel is
>common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
>
>2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year
>old with a slingshot.
>
>3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
>their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
>
>4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
>designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
>their opponents.
SNIP
Xav
>Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
Dave Locke
Xav set words in phosphor:
I thought it was suitably hilarious.
I really have nothing but contempt for the Star Wars franchise. For
the original they threw an "A" budget at "F" material and created a
juvenile hit which lowered the bar for science fiction in the cinema,
aborting the prior trend upward in story qualities and thus depriving
me of who knows how many *good* science fiction movies. These days
they reach back for sf classics like Heinlein's "The Puppet Masters"
or "Starship Troopers", and trash them to the point where little more
than the title remains.
--
Dave | dave...@bigfoot.com | Dutch, Injun, Irish, Limey, Scotch
"Proud to be a mammal"
David Bernardi
> review. -LP)
>
> 1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel is
> common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
>
> 2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year
> old with a slingshot.
>
> 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
> their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
>
> 4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
> designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
> their opponents.
>
>
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
>
> 7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.
>
> 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes, a
> red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for some reason left
> his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
>
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
>
>
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
> tea?")
>
lessons.
>
> 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy you're
in.
>
> 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
> their entourage.
>
> 15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford Brimley
>
> 16. If you took out all the scenes with direct equivalents in the first
> three Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace would be 15 minutes long.
>
> 17. Most of those 15 minutes would be plot holes and special effects.
>
> 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
> where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> member of the Skywalker family.
>
> 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did as
> Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
>
> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
> dummy would.
21. Jedi hair is fireproof.
22. Any evil Jedi can be defeated by a good Jedi once the latter unleashes
the dark side, no matter how badly his ass was getting kicked up to this
point, reinforcing the theory that the dark side is stronger, and making
Yoda look like either a liar or an idiot.
23. It's taboo to kill human characters now, yet droids, despite the fact
that they're sentient in SW, are fair game.
--
David Bernardi
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
davidb...@home.com
Dan Goodman
I don't think the first three Star Wars movies are entirely to blame.
Dumbing things down for movies and television is long-established. For
example, _Peyton Place_ got dumbed down for television.
--
Dan Goodman
dsg...@visi.com
http://www.visi.com/~dsgood/index.html
Whatever you wish for me, may you have twice as much.
Nancy Lebovitz
Xav <Thek...@innocent.com> wrote:
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 20:24:00 -0400, MA...@GUAVA.COM (SD) wroth:
>
>>Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
>
>It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
>when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
>enjoyed it.
>
and was a lot saner than _The Matrix_, but that doesn't keep me from
noticing that the bad guys could have considerably simplified their
lives by using even minimal surveillance technology, and that most
of the "humor" was remarkably unfunny. And it's a little late in the
millenium to start an info-dump with "As you know....."
But back to the pleasures of the movie--a lot of the city scenes were
very reminiscent of _Dinotopia_--was the same artist (James Gurney,
I think) involved?
--
Nancy Lebovitz na...@netaxs.com
Calligraphic button catalogue available by email!
Lizard
>(Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a single
>review. -LP)
>
>1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel is
>common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
>
>2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year
>old with a slingshot.
>
Evidently, the programmers who programmed them later became
instructors at the Imnperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.
>3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
>their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
>
>4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
>designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
>their opponents.
>
Now, this makes some sense -- it means you can use off-the-shelf
weapons, it means THEY can pick up weapons, and it means when the new
Mark II superblaster comes out, you just buy new guns -- not new
droids.
>5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
>
Oddly enough, Lucas instructed the guy playing Chancellor Valorum to
play it like Clinton. But I agree with you - Palpatine is much more
Clintonesque.
>10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
>
Was this ever in doubt?
>11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
>mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
>by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
>tea?")
>
Memory wipe. Besides, do we know that C-3PO ever saw Anakin again?
>14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
>their entourage.
>
Having seen one of their women, do you now understand why?
>15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford Brimley
>
Oat bran you eat! Live long, you will!
>18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
>where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
>member of the Skywalker family.
>
Furthermore, the leading school of architecture in the SW Universe
(probably housed on the same planet as the Imperial Stormtrooper
Marksmanship Academy) has a course entitled "Construction of Narrow
Walkways Over Gaping Pits Of Energy -- Why Handrails (or forcefields!)
Must Not Be Included". Evidently, every structure larger than a
breadbox in the galaxy includes at least one 'gaping pit with narrow
walkway'. Perhaps they have an anti-OSHA?
*----------------------------------------------------*
Evolution doesn't take prisoners:Lizard
Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice;
Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue:AuH20
http://www.mrlizard.com
Lizard
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 20:24:00 -0400, MA...@GUAVA.COM (SD) wroth:
>
>>Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
>
>It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
>when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
>enjoyed it.
>
I loved the movie.
I laughed at the list.
What's YOUR problem?
Lord Jubjub
<Charle...@baylor.edu> wrote:
> I enjoyed the movie, and also found your post to be quite funny. Its very
> true. Those battle droids would have trouble taking out the Telletubies! I
> kept expecting thst one driod questioning QuiJob (or whatever his name was)
> to cut into a Butthead voice and say "well, you're like under arrest or
> something. They were so inept.
>
Why do you think the Empire stopped using them?
Vermilion
>In article <7i2ab1$ok6$1...@ccis12.baylor.edu>, "Charles Laine"
><Charle...@baylor.edu> wrote:
>> I enjoyed the movie, and also found your post to be quite funny. Its very
>> true. Those battle droids would have trouble taking out the Telletubies! I
>> kept expecting thst one driod questioning QuiJob (or whatever his name was)
>> to cut into a Butthead voice and say "well, you're like under arrest or
>> something. They were so inept.
>>
>Why do you think the Empire stopped using them?
They never started. Battledroids are used by the Trade Federation, not the
Empire (there is no Empire). Based on this fiasco, no wonder Sidious decides
to use humans...
- Vermilion, who notes that while Stormtroopers are no more accurate than
droids, they at least can't be turned off in mid-battle.
David Yeh
> 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
You know, I don't know the mind of a billionaire and I don't know Lucas,
but it seems to me he wouldn't be the type to care much anymore about
making action figures money. I guess money is always good, you can spend
more on your next movie, give it to the kids, give the employees a raise,
whatever, but I really think for Lucas it's about trying to give kids a
character to like, and of course, selling millions of action figures goes
along with that. Saying that Jar Jar was designed to be one big toy
commercial is a bit cynical in context, I think. If he wanted to do that,
he could have done it ten years ago.
-dave
Joe Ramirez
There's also an economic explanation. The Trade Federation is not a
galactic government, so its human (or humanoid) resources are
necessarily limited. Evidently, however, it has a lot of money, so it
can *build* the army it needs. Once the Empire takes control, it can
raise armies through more conventional (and possibly cheaper) methods,
such as drafting the troops needed. Capital can be reserved for
mega-projects such as the Death Star.
Joe Ramirez
dart...@my-dejanews.com
lawr...@bga.com (Lawrence Person) wrote:
> (Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a
single
> review. -LP)
>
> 1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel
is
> common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
>
> 2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight
year
> old with a slingshot.
>
with
> their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
>
> 4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are
cleverly
> designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them
by
> their opponents.
>
>
directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character
Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
>
ganja.
>
> 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes,
a
> red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for some reason
left
> his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
>
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
>
>
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie.
("Oh,
> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader.
More
> tea?")
>
acting lessons.
>
> 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy
you're in.
>
in
> their entourage.
>
>
first
> three Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace would be 15 minutes long.
>
> 17. Most of those 15 minutes would be plot holes and special effects.
>
ship
> where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> member of the Skywalker family.
>
as
> Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
>
> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
> dummy would.
>
> Lawrence Person
> lawr...@bga.com
>
> New issue of Nova Express Now Available!
> Nova Express Website: http://www.delphi.com/sflit/novaexpress/
And I learned 1 thing while reading your post...
1. You obviously don't know jack shit about Star Wars or any good
science fiction movie for that matter.
--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--
---Share what you know. Learn what you don't.---
Adam J. Cook
>
> Boy, you actually take time to write this when everybody else is out
> there at the movies having a fun time ??
>
> I can see why some people have no lives, spending their spare time
> bashing other people's enjoyment of movies.
>
> A simple 'i didnt like it heres why' would have sufficed.
>
> Cheers
> Xav
Does having an asshole that tight hurt?
Adam
Adam J. Cook
>
> (Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a single
> review. -LP)
> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
> tea?")
ha! Great post! As for this one, though, I don't think C3P0 would have
neccessarily known that Annakin became Darth Vader. He should have
remembered who assembled him, but perhaps Obi Wan had that bit of memory
erased. Who knows?
Adam
dj_ro...@my-dejanews.com
> >Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
>
> It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
> when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
> enjoyed it.
Yeah, we could have enjoyed it if it had actually been a decent movie.
---
DJ Rock 2000
dj_ro...@my-dejanews.com
> > 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is
> > directly proportional to the number of action figures of said
> > character Lucasfilms hopes to sell to small children.
>
> Lucas, but it seems to me he wouldn't be the type to care much
> anymore about making action figures money. I guess money is always
> good, you can spend more on your next movie, give it to the kids,
> give the employees a raise, whatever, but I really think for Lucas
> it's about trying to give kids a character to like, and of course,
> selling millions of action figures goes along with that. Saying that
> Jar Jar was designed to be one big toy commercial is a bit cynical in
> context, I think. If he wanted to do that, he could have done it ten
> years ago.
He did it 15 years ago. Don't you remeber the Ewoks. Lucas might not
say that he's in it for the money, but the way he operates his
financial dealings makes it obvious that he's a greedy bastard.
Aaron Hurley
> > play it like Clinton. But I agree with you - Palpatine is much more
> > Clintonesque.
> Which might relate to Palpitane's line about the chancellor
> being mired by "baseless accusations". Remember that Spielburg
> is one of Clinton's bigger supporters and one of Lucas's best
> friends inferring that perhaps Lucas is a Clinton supporter as
> well.
I am sure of this. I mean, the 2 "bad" guys from the Trade Federation are
the Viceroy Nute Gunray (pronounced Newt, as in Gingrich) and the his ally
in the Galactic Senate is Lott Dod (think Trent Lott). I don't think this
is an accident.
Aaron
John Richards
>
> Lord Jubjub wrote:
>
> >
> >
> > Why do you think the Empire stopped using them?
> > Lord Jubjub, Ruler of the Jabberwocky, Guardian of the Wabe
>
> Bob
YM Borogoves (a small point I confess but one which has had me turn off
dramatisations before now).
Yeah I'm a Lewis Carroll fan perhaps I should get over it.
--
JFW Richards South Hants Science Fiction Group
Portsmouth, Hants 2nd and 4th Tuesdays
England. UK. The Magpie, Fratton Road, Portsmouth
John Richards
>
> Lawrence Person <lawr...@bga.com> wrote in message
> news:lawrence-200...@apm5-178.realtime.net...
>
>
> | 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
>
> manipulate the hardware at a molecular level. It's not possible to do this
> without the force. Once an apprentice Jedi can create a light saber,
> his/her skills are considered complete.
>
> | mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
> | by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
> | tea?")
>
> between Episode III and IV. Sounds realistic to me.
You might also wonder why in the first movie Darth Vader having lost the
plans didn't think to do a scan on the planet where they had been dumped
- you know, check to see to whom they might be delivered - and sort of
notice that a chap called Ben Kenobi was living near the Skywalker farm.
Hardly the best job of hiding things from the imperials really.
Sparky
> review. -LP)
>
> common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
Yes, I can only say that the Trade Federation Droids have crappy
programming. Those green guys that formed
the blockade don't strike me as the brilliant types that make up the Empire
later.
>
> 2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year
> old with a slingshot.
True, Darth Sidious will turn things around. Stormtroopers will kick butt.
>
> 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
> their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
Again, crappy programming. The trade federation is not big in battle
situations, unlike the Empire.
>
> 4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
> designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
> their opponents.
Not all. The rolly-polly droids had cool built-in machine gun lazers.
>
> 5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
No. I didn't spot any interns at the Senate.
>
> 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
Yeah, Jar Jar Binks fits that bill.
>
> 7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.
Hmmmm, no, I don't see the resemblance.
>
> 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes, a
> red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for some reason left
> his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
Yes, this dude made Darth Vader look like Bambi.
>
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
Exactly what I thought when I saw it take off.
>
> 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
Duh!
>
> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
> tea?")
Memory wipe
>
> 12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include acting
lessons.
Yeah, but what decoy's do?
>
> 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy you're
in.
Yup.
>
> 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
> their entourage.
Yup.
>
> 15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford Brimley
Ok, but who the hell is Wilford?
>
> 16. If you took out all the scenes with direct equivalents in the first
> three Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace would be 15 minutes long.
Uhm, no, podracing?, bad ass light sabre battles? That's like saying all
westerns are the same because they have cowboys.
>
> 17. Most of those 15 minutes would be plot holes and special effects.
Nah. go watch Star Trek
>
> 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
> where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> member of the Skywalker family.
Skywalker family is strong with the Shwarz.
>
> 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did as
> Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
Yup.
>
> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
> dummy would.
Hmmm, looked fine to me, It wasn't a dummy, it's CGI.
The Rogue
> Lawrence Person <lawr...@bga.com> wrote in message
> news:lawrence-200...@apm5-178.realtime.net...
> > (Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a
> > single review. -LP)
> > 1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL
> > travel is common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
> >
> > 2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight
> > year old with a slingshot.
> >
> > 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts
> > with their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop
> > firing.
> >
> > 4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are
> > cleverly designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used
> > against them by their opponents.
> >
> > 5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
5a. Actually, I think "Kenobi" means "Clinton."
It depends on your definition of 'betrayed and murdered your father.'
It depends on your definition of 'instructed me.'
It depends on your definition of 'first met your father.'
> > 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is
> > directly proportional to the number of action figures of said
> > character Lucasfilms hopes to sell to small children.
> >
> > 7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater
> > ganja.
> >
> > 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red
> > eyes, a red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for
> > some reason left his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
8a. Not to mention his "Honk if you're 'horny'" bumper sticker.
> > 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> > Blackbird covered in chrome.
> >
> > 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
> >
> > 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
> > mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie.
> > ("Oh, by the way, your father built me and also happens to be
> > Darth Vader. More tea?")
> >
> > 12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include
> > acting lessons.
> >
> > 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy
> > you're in.
> >
> > 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women
> > in their entourage.
14a. They also subscribe to the "fat-skinny-fat again' Oprah diet.
> > 15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford
> > Brimley
> >
> > 16. If you took out all the scenes with direct equivalents in the
> > first three Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace would be 15
> > minutes long.
16a. But it'd be 45 minutes if you added in the unincluded trailer
footage in the SE.
> > 17. Most of those 15 minutes would be plot holes and special
> > effects.
> >
> > 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the
> > ship where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser
> > blast from a member of the Skywalker family.
No no no, not a laser blast. A pair of torpedoes. Torpedoes we never see
used against anything else, even if the weaker blasters can't get
through the shields, for that matter.
> > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li
> > did as Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
> >
> > 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a
> > lightweight dummy would.
>
> 21. Jedi hair is fireproof.
>
> 22. Any evil Jedi can be defeated by a good Jedi once the latter
> unleashes the dark side, no matter how badly his ass was getting
> kicked up to this
> point, reinforcing the theory that the dark side is stronger, and
> making Yoda look like either a liar or an idiot.
>
> 23. It's taboo to kill human characters now, yet droids, despite the
> fact that they're sentient in SW, are fair game.
24. The Jedi mind trick generally only works on human StormTroopers.
Every other species except the Twileks is immune to it.
25. Clark Kent was right. Disguise your eyes and no one will ever guess
your secret identity.
26. R2-D2 can repair any starship problem, under any circumstances.
27. Anyone named Skywalker can successfully begin his Jedi training at
any age, regardless of what the Jedi Council seems to think.
28. Even if they can't speak it, everyone in the galaxy understands
spoken English (or at least the StarWars equivalent.)
29. Everyone (including droids) is either related to, or has personally
interacted with, everyone else, somewhere along the line.
30. Red = Darkside, Blue/Green/White = Lightside
31. No Jedi ever goes into hiding/retirement on a 'nice' planet.
--
The Rogue
rogue<AT>coastalweb<DOT>net
http://www.coastalweb.net/rogue/
headrush
: >Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
: It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
: when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
: enjoyed it.
Its called sarcasm. It can be used for humor but definitely not for the
unaware or the thin-skinned.
headrush
: 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
: their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
What?! You're talking about the EXPENSIVE droids. The bad guys have a
budget you know. Can't be spending all of it on droids. Someone has to
pay for the kegs of beer.
: 4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
: designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
: their opponents.
Part of the object-oriented engineering. You should see them go to
battle with chrome dildoes.
: 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly
: proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
: hopes to sell to small children.
Actually more like how goofy the adult toy buyers were.
: 7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.
Hard to light up underwater.
: 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
Except another light saber's blade.
: 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
: mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
: by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
: tea?")
I don't think C3PO recognizes Vader as Anakin. Besides which, they
turned off C3PO during those decades. :)
: 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
: their entourage.
You should see his porn magazine collection.
: 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
: where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
: member of the Skywalker family.
That's probably one reason why the Sith Lords stop traveling in their
pseudo-Patridge-Family bus.
: 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
: dummy would.
Lucas ran out of money when they filmed that portion. He's poor. :)
SW FREAK
Captain Chad wrote in message ...
>| 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
>| mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie.
("Oh,
>| by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
>| tea?")
>
>between Episode III and IV. Sounds realistic to me.
Well I can debunk part of this.. That might be true for C3PO, because when
they
landed on Tatooine in EP4, he had no idea where he was. R2D2 however
retained
his memory, he knew Obi-Wan, he knew Obi-Wan would be there and that he was
the property of Obi-Wan. If their memories were erased, he wouldn't of
known this.
I think C3PO is just too human, he's forgetful, and bumbling. R2 was always
the
smart one who knew what needed to be done.
Elisabeth Carey
> > proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
> > hopes to sell to small children.
>
> but it seems to me he wouldn't be the type to care much anymore about
> making action figures money. I guess money is always good, you can spend
> more on your next movie, give it to the kids, give the employees a raise,
> whatever, but I really think for Lucas it's about trying to give kids a
> character to like, and of course, selling millions of action figures goes
> along with that. Saying that Jar Jar was designed to be one big toy
> commercial is a bit cynical in context, I think. If he wanted to do that,
> he could have done it ten years ago.
You haven't been following the coverage of the business side of this
movie. Everything about the Phantom Menace-related deals is structured
to deliver the maximum possible profit for George Lucas. He has also
been merchandising Star Wars for twenty years, and if the design of
the Ewoks was aimed at something other than the toy market, it was
never apparent.
If you mean, "He could have made the movie ten years ago", no, not if
his goal was maximizing his profits. He and his wife divorced, and in
the divorce settlement his wife got a large share of the Star Wars
profits for years. Then her claim ran out, and then he made _The
Phantom Menace_. What a coincidence!
In any case, suggesting that someone wants to maximize his income from
his work is not exactly the same thing as accusing him of morally
depraved acts.
Lis Carey
Samuel Paik
Lawrence Person wrote:
> 5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
Does that mean the Republic will be wracked by internal division
and external threats, and eventually dissolved and replaced by
an Empire? When do we start addressing him as "His Dread
Majesty, Emperor Bill".
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
That was my reaction too!
Great fun though.
Sam
--
Samuel S. Paik | http://www.webnexus.com/users/paik/
3D and multimedia, architecture and implementation
Solyent Green is kitniyot!
C. Dato
> Lucas, but it seems to me he wouldn't be the type to care much
> anymore about making action figures money.
You gotta be kidding. The SW movies make more from sale of
merchandise than at the box office. Lucas has already recouped
the money he invested in TPM through licencing alone. Pepsico paid
£1.2 billion just to carry scenes and characters from TMP on its
packaging (Pepsi, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, KFC). Last year, SW toys
were the second-biggest selling in the world behing Barbie dolls and
so far 750 million SW products, worth more than £2.5 billion, have
been sold since 1977. The TPM toys are estimated to make more
than £600 million in 1999 alone. SW is a franchise and everything
after the original has been designed with the merchandise in mind.
Why do you think there are so many cute creatures in SW?
Because they make for cuddly toys.
What Lucas doesn't care about anymore is filmmaking. Coppola
made a strong point when he commented: "Why would he waste
his whole life doing Star Wars when he was such a brilliant
filmmaker?" The answer: money, most of which comes from toys.
Best,
Chris
______________________________
Chris Dato Photography, London
Music, Portrait, Fashion, Reportage
Web: http://www.dato.mcmail.com
E-mail address available from the
website
Helen & Bob
>
> >
> > --
> > Lawrence Person
> > lawr...@bga.com
> >
>
>
> And I learned 1 thing while reading your post...
>
> 1. You obviously don't know jack shit about Star Wars or any good
> science fiction movie for that matter.
>
Whereas you, Sir, know jack shit about humor. Lighten up, its a SciFi (And
I have been a SciFi fan for 50 Years +), not Holy Writ.
Bob
Nancy Lebovitz
Sparky <spar...@nospam.home.com> wrote:
>
>> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
>> dummy would.
>
The robe and the body seemed to both fall at the same rate--a bit
unlikely if they aren't in a vacuum.
Patman
C3PO and R2D2 remind me of Penn and Teller. One blabs and blabs, and
the other one is competent as hell.
But each one needs the other.
--
************** A random quote from Heathers: ************
"People love you, but *I* know you."
*** My WWW home page: http://www.io.com/~patman/ *****
Aaron M. Renn
>I enjoyed the movie, and also found your post to be quite funny. Its very
>true. Those battle droids would have trouble taking out the Telletubies! I
Not to mention that fact that unlike every other droid we met, these have to
be remote controlled from a spaceship in orbit.
--
Aaron M. Renn (ar...@urbanophile.com) http://www.urbanophile.com/arenn/
Spu...@aol.com
"Fred Q" <fre...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> Do you try and suck the fun out of everything?
>
Do you? I've found this discussion a lot of fun.
Evelyn C. Leeper
Nancy Lebovitz <na...@unix3.netaxs.com> wrote:
> In article <0d813.1233$Fz2...@news.rdc1.az.home.com>,
> Sparky <spar...@nospam.home.com> wrote:
> >
> >> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
> >> dummy would.
> >
> >Hmmm, looked fine to me, It wasn't a dummy, it's CGI.
>
> The robe and the body seemed to both fall at the same rate--a bit
> unlikely if they aren't in a vacuum.
I don't think it was a robe and a body; I think it was the two halves
of the body after Obi-Wan cut him in half at the waist.
--
Evelyn C. Leeper, http://www.geocities.com/Athens/4824
"When you are trying to understand the world, it is unwise to assume
that you occupy a privileged position in it." -Jim Holt
(I have no idea why my From: line says att.com.)
David E Romm
> (Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a single
> review. -LP)
>
> 1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel is
> common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
The first movie's space fight sequences were based on WWI aerial
dogfights. No reason to suppose there's been much of an advancement in
cinematography. Still, one must assume that defensive as well as
offensive weaponry is better, so interfering with targeting is not too
unlikely.
> 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
> their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
Or send multiple bolts at once. So much for coordination.
> 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
Your point being?
> 12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include acting
lessons.
She sounded like a kid playing a Queen. An elected queen, no less.
> 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
> their entourage.
Oh, they have many species surrounding them, but the camera only lingers
on certain of them.
> 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
> where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> member of the Skywalker family.
That's what happens when military ships are built by the lowest bidder.
21. Moisture farmers don't eat very well.
22. Lucas' women don't like to let their sons know who their father is.
23. Jedi Knights need a utility belt.
24. The plot and character development of 1/3 of a trilogy goes much
slower than one movie that may or may not be successful.
25. I'm going to avoid KFC/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell for a while.
--
Shockwave site: http://www.visi.com/~romm
family page: http://www.romm.org
Experimenting with RealAudio sound on http://www.romm.org/audio
j-p
> 27. Anyone named Skywalker can successfully begin his Jedi training at
> any age, regardless of what the Jedi Council seems to think.
successfully? no. Ani fails. Luke almost fails too.
-jason
Beth Friedman
>In article <0d813.1233$Fz2...@news.rdc1.az.home.com>,
>Sparky <spar...@nospam.home.com> wrote:
>>
>>> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
>>> dummy would.
>>
>>Hmmm, looked fine to me, It wasn't a dummy, it's CGI.
>
>The robe and the body seemed to both fall at the same rate--a bit
>unlikely if they aren't in a vacuum.
Um, I didn't remember it as the robe and the body. I thought the body was
cut in half at the waist, and those were two more-or-less equal halves
falling down. Which is a reference to samurai movies, I assume.
--
Beth Friedman
b...@wavefront.com
David E Romm
(Dave Locke) wrote:
> ~cut back to rasff only~
> I really have nothing but contempt for the Star Wars franchise. For
> the original they threw an "A" budget at "F" material
Oh, "C" material, please. TPM wasn't that bad. Remember, Lucas has the
luxury of filming a trilogy this time around, and doesn't have to worry
about individual movies. Not all episodes of B5 were that good, even the
ones that advanced the plot; the overall story arc was better than most
single shows. Lucas left enough clues in this one so we've made a cottage
industry of predicting various points in the next two. We know the fate
of many of these people already.
--
Shockwave site: http://www.visi.com/~romm
family page: http://www.romm.org
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." -- VP Dan Quayle
norac...@my-dejanews.com
Thek...@innocent.com (Xav) wrote:
> Boy, you actually take time to write this when everybody else is out
> there at the movies having a fun time ??
Except for you, who is apparently sitting home playing on the Internet.
> I can see why some people have no lives, spending their spare time
> bashing other people's enjoyment of movies.
As opposed to spending their spare time bashing other people's writing.
> A simple 'i didnt like it heres why' would have sufficed.
But it wouldn't have been as funny.
> PS : btw, i can tell youre a Star Trek fan. Get over it.
Stop being such a childish drone and develop a sense of humor.
Kate
screa...@monad.net
absolutely loved the movie! Might I make a few modifications? Too bad,
I am going to anyway...
> 1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL
travel is
> common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
The battle droids have targeting systems?
> 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is
directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character
Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
Or middle aged dorks.
> 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes,
a
> red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for some reason
left
> his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
Probably at the exact time he lost his tounge. (I believe that the
book states that a cat had been seen near his apartment apparently
playing with something long, pink and slobbery.)
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
>
> 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
Except a force field.
> 12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include
acting lessons.
>
> 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy
you're in.
And this surprises you? So are used space ship salesman.
> 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women
in
> their entourage.
Did you take a look at his wife???? I'd want scantily clad human women
in my entourage too!
> 15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford Brimley
Or a middle aged hungarian woman, take your pick (no offense intended
to middle aged hungarian women)
> 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
as
> Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
standing right next to them.
> 20. Darth Maul's body falls and bounces exactly the way a lightweight
> dummy would.
Or an emperor thrown into a very long shaft. (Please refer to ROTJ)
Great list, so did you enjoy the movie?
screa...@monad.net
da...@romm.org (David E Romm) wrote:
> In article <lawrence-200...@apm5-178.realtime.net>,
> lawr...@bga.com (Lawrence Person) wrote:
>
> > (Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a
single
> > review. -LP)
> >
travel is
> > common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
>
> dogfights. No reason to suppose there's been much of an advancement
in
> cinematography. Still, one must assume that defensive as well as
> offensive weaponry is better, so interfering with targeting is not too
> unlikely.
>
> > 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts
with
> > their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
>
> Or send multiple bolts at once. So much for coordination.
>
directly
> > proportional to the number of action figures of said character
Lucasfilms
> > hopes to sell to small children.
>
>
> > 12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include
acting
> lessons.
>
She was a kid. Is she not supposed to be 14 years old in the movie?
> > 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human
women in
> > their entourage.
>
> Oh, they have many species surrounding them, but the camera only
lingers
> on certain of them.
>
> > 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in
the ship
> > where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> > member of the Skywalker family.
>
> That's what happens when military ships are built by the lowest
bidder.
>
> 21. Moisture farmers don't eat very well.
>
> 22. Lucas' women don't like to let their sons know who their father
is.
>
> 23. Jedi Knights need a utility belt.
>
> 24. The plot and character development of 1/3 of a trilogy goes much
> slower than one movie that may or may not be successful.
>
> 25. I'm going to avoid KFC/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell for a while.
I'll bet on Darth Maul in a fight against Col Sanders any day! As for
the irritating Taco Bell rat...The lightsaber is too good for him!
Doug Berry
Thek...@innocent.com (Xav) pass this message on to me:
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 20:24:00 -0400, MA...@GUAVA.COM (SD) wroth:
>
>>Come on, it was funny and amusing. I loved it.
>
>It unfortunately shows just how negative the mindset the people are in
>when seeing this movie......which is sad for them, they COULD have
>enjoyed it.
Ah. So if only we came into the film with an open "mindset",
we'd overlook the bad acting, atrocious script, overbearing
effects, and plot holes you could fly a star destoyer through.
I see.
The post was funny, and spot-on target. Xan, I think you need to
get out more, and see dome good SF. I suggest _Dark Star_ for
starters.
--
+------------------------------------------+
| Doug Berry dbe...@nospam.hooked.net |
| http://www.hooked.net/~dberry/index.html |
| (remove "nospam" to reply by mail) |
|------------------------------------------|
| "I cannot imagine any condition which |
| would cause a ship to founder." |
| -Captain Edward Smith, S.S. Titanic |
+------------------------------------------+
Doug Berry
Rogue <ro...@REMOVEME.coastalweb.net> pass this message on to me:
>30. Red = Darkside, Blue/Green/White = Lightside
I've always wondered about that.. seems to me an evil Jedi could
kick butt by using a blue lightsaber. "It's okay, ignore the
leer and black clothes, his laightaber beam is blu.AAAIIIEEEE!!!!
*zot*
Doug Berry
dart...@my-dejanews.com pass this message on to me:
>And I learned 1 thing while reading your post...
>
>1. You obviously don't know jack shit about Star Wars or any good
>science fiction movie for that matter.
Go away and watch Silent Running and Dark Star, then come back
and tell me about good SF movies.
John Savard
>5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
Nah. Clinton was supposed to be that other guy, "mired in baseless
accusations of scandal".
John Savard ( teneerf<- )
http://members.xoom.com/quadibloc/index.html
Dave Weingart
>Go away and watch Silent Running and Dark Star, then come back
>and tell me about good SF movies.
Of course, Silent Running isn't exactly a good SF movie (it's not a
bad movie, but it's not a good SF movie).
Now, Forbidden Planet, OTOH...
--
73 de Dave Weingart KA2ESK Powerpuff Nerds. Saving the
mailto:phyd...@liii.com Net before bedtime
http://www.liii.com/~phydeaux
Derek Jensen
>Captain Chad wrote in message ...
>>between Episode III and IV. Sounds realistic to me.
>
>
>Well I can debunk part of this.. That might be true for C3PO, because when
>they
>landed on Tatooine in EP4, he had no idea where he was. R2D2 however
>retained
>his memory, he knew Obi-Wan, he knew Obi-Wan would be there and that he was
>the property of Obi-Wan. If their memories were erased, he wouldn't of
>known this.
Hologram-Leia says that Kenobi served with her father in the Clone Wars, and
R2D2 says he belongs to Kenobi (in ANH) - R2 could get a memory wipe at any
point before the Clone Wars begin, erasing his knowledge of Anakin
Skywalker - who isn't Leia's father as far as Leia could know.
>I think C3PO is just too human, he's forgetful, and bumbling. R2 was
always
>the smart one who knew what needed to be done.
He is a protocol droid though, so he's in the most "friendly" form his users
could relate to.... wonder if there's any protocol droids shaped like Hutts.
DJensen
Kung Fu Gecko
I guess I enjoyed TPM. I mean, I grew up with Star Wars (and I was old
enough to understand ANH at the theater); so I guess I give TPM more
points just for being Star Wars. But here's what I was wondering.
> 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is
directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character
Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
Jar jar was quite annoying. What I wanna know is why the heck they took
him into the city to look for the drive part. Why not make him stay in
the ship so he wouldn't get in the way like it was obvious he was going
to. Oh yeah, for cheap humor. Who else would make a mess of the store
and get his tongue numbed from a magnetic connection beam.
> 7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater
ganja.
No kidding. What is jar jar's race called? Anyway, they talked like
bastardized Jamaican accents, and the green aliens doing the trade
blockade (what's their race called?) talked with bastardized Asian
accents. It worked... I guess... but it seems so American-centric.
Uh, why does Boss Nass do his slobbering cheak shake at the end? When
he did it when he was mad at jar jar, that made sense.
> 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes,
The final fight scene with Maul was pretty good and I guess I'm glad
they didn't babble on like a comic book. But what the heck was with
those Mario Bros video game on-off shields? What the heck purpose did
they serve except to give fighting jedi breathers?
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
Ohmigosh... my thoughts exactly. I was thinking, "a silver SR-71".
Hmm. The ship designs were so uninspired... completely unlike the
previous movies where I remember being so awed with the xwing, speeder,
and boba fett's slave 1 ship. Maybe they should've used Z95-headhunters
from the xwing games. Or at least something else. I was not impressed
by any of the ship design, something I expect from Star Wars. I
remember my father and his graphic arts friends having BOOKs showing
developement of Star Wars designs. That was inspiration. Maybe Naboo
just has lame ship designers, but c'mon, they all looked like a cheap
video game.
> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie.
I hated this part. C3PO did not have to be introduced in this movie let
alone be created by Anikin. At least R2D2 was made to have PURPOSEFUL
existence in this movie. I would have preferred a better reason for
C3PO's existence. Everybody's a bit TOO internetworked.
But at the same time, it makes sense why C3PO is such a wimp.
And now because of TPM, I like R2D2 even MORE!
> 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy
you're in.
That was good for the humor. No biggy. However, I thought the
character design was not up to Star Wars par. I think he's of the same
race from Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind... just with 2 heads. Blah.
But I did like the character look design of the #1 racer who walks on
his hands and uses his feet to manipulate things.
> 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women
in
> their entourage.
Considering this happens over a 100 years before Return of the Jedi,
clothing styles haven't changed and gold bikini's are still in. But I
think it was effective in creating the audience's emotional familiarity
with the previous movie we saw.
> 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the
ship
> where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> member of the Skywalker family.
Anakin's randomness to complete success was a little hokey for me. Like
a saturday morning cartoon.
> 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
as
> Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
Actually, I was impressed by finally seeing in action exactly what jedis
can do in their prime; they really do use the light saber like crazy and
I see now why it's the preferred weapon, they know kung fu, they can
jump amazing distances, they have preminitions, the culture really did
fear them out of respect.
There just wasn't enough mystery in the movie. It seemed like the focus
was purely to laydown the ground work for the next 2 movies. Which...
maybe it was. The only mystery is the dark side...
When Anikins mother said he has no father... she just "had" him... how
many people thought themselves or had someone sitting next to you
mutter, "Jesus." [As in, "just like ..."]
The "chosen one" would bring balance to the force. I guess that
ultimately meant the very end of Jedi where Vader turns back and the
empire is defeated. Little do they know that the balance has to be
tipped in favor of the dark before the balance actually takes place.
Anybody else think that the G-force/batman rope guns where kinda hokey?
I was pretty impressed with the way jar jar's people handle the ground
war.
Kinda cheap how Amidala hands Boss Nag or whatever a plasma ball viewed
through spectram lens as the piece symbol. It looked so much like a
plasma ball. This is 1999, not 1990. I can buy my own "piece symbol"
at Target.
It's amazing how you can do any hardware fix via the pod's cockpit
control panel by pressing buttons and toggling switches. But the race
itself was very entertaining.
As much as I tried to avoid it, it was revealed to us that Darth Maul's
saber is actually double ended, making it a pole weapon. This
completely destroyed the awe of seeing the second blade extend during
the final fight scene.
Since Qui-Gon got a big burn hole in him from the saber stabbing, how
did Obiwan really *disappear* in Star Wars?
Anyone play Wing Commander: Privateer? Is Curoscant New Detroit or
what?7
Here's a wild thought, so is Amidala Luke and Leia's mother? Naaawwww..
I can't explain why, but I really liked the fish on Naboo.
--
- http://www.autobahn.org/~gbchoy/geckobeach
- Healing from Carpal Tunnel and other RSI's:
- http://www.autobahn.org/~gbchoy/geckobeach/rsi
Kevin A. Roll
In article <7i42s2$2n1$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, screa...@monad.net says...
> > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
> as
> > Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
>
> Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
> standing right next to them.
Or see right through the Queen's deception...
--
Personal Homepage: http://www.cyberdrive.net/~kroll
Chew's Eye Shop Homepage: http://www.bge.net/chews
Our CDs are done!!!
vman
Doug Berry wrote in message <37478e55...@news.wenet.net>...
>On Fri, 21 May 1999 05:58:19 GMT, the Secret Masters made
>dart...@my-dejanews.com pass this message on to me:
>
>
>>And I learned 1 thing while reading your post...
>>
>>1. You obviously don't know jack shit about Star Wars or any good
>>science fiction movie for that matter.
>
>and tell me about good SF movies.
Dark Star, hehe oh man I actually really liked that movie, does
that make me a nut or something? :)
Simon H. Lee
Ewoks the story about:
>
>In article <7i42s2$2n1$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, screa...@monad.net says...
>
>> > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
>> as
>> > Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
>>
>> Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
>> standing right next to them.
>
>Or see right through the Queen's deception...
Hmm... Qui-Gon's little jabs at Padme's "The Queen doesn't..."
act certainly imply that he knows what's going on.
--
RASSM FAQ - http://www.lucasfan.com/rassm/rassmfaq.htm
| __
| (__ * _ _ _ _ "The cinema is not a slice of life but
| __)|| | |(_)| \ a piece of cake." --Alfred Hitchcock
|_________________ (-o-) A L L D O N E ! B Y E B Y E ! <*>
j-p
No one else I've ever talked to has even heard of this movie =)
-jason
Aaron M. Renn
j-p wrote in message <3745AF...@mindspring.com>...
>Dark Star! Yes!
>
>No one else I've ever talked to has even heard of this movie =)
Huh? Dark Star is a classic. I know it's gotten several favorable mentions
in the newsgroups.
Brian Bilbro
Simon H. Lee <sh...@cornell.edu> wrote in message
news:7i4ajq$f...@newsstand.cit.cornell.edu...
> ke...@secant.com (Kevin A. Roll) stood up and told the
> Ewoks the story about:
> >
> >In article <7i42s2$2n1$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, screa...@monad.net says...
> >
> >> > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
> >> as
> >> > Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
> >>
> >> Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
> >> standing right next to them.
> >
> >Or see right through the Queen's deception...
>
> Hmm... Qui-Gon's little jabs at Padme's "The Queen doesn't..."
> act certainly imply that he knows what's going on.
I agree, also. I read the book and I got the impression he knew. But
I'm still confused about them (especially Yoda) not 'sensing a distrubance
in the force' with the Senator. ??????
--
Brian
Brian Bilbro
> is.
The book goes into better detail about this:
Anakin doesn't have a father. He was formed by the midi-chlorian in
his mother's body. wierd.
And while I'm on the subject of the book. It really does a better job of
explaining
the plot but if the movie had everything the book had then it would have
been
over 3 hours long.
--
Brian
Lydia Nickerson
>One day in Teletubbyland, dbe...@hooked.net (Doug Berry) said:
>>Go away and watch Silent Running and Dark Star, then come back
>>and tell me about good SF movies.
>Of course, Silent Running isn't exactly a good SF movie (it's not a
>bad movie, but it's not a good SF movie).
>Now, Forbidden Planet, OTOH...
I agree that Silent running isn't a great movie, but I'm foolishly fond of
it. I find Forbidden Planet unwatchable, though. I can't recall for
sure, but I think it's the girl. I've tried three times and never made
it more than 45 minutes in.
--
----
Lydia Nickerson ly...@ddb.com
Patrick Boie
> 1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilization where FTL travel is
> common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.
The battledroids are cheap, flimsy, bargain-basement stuff. The Trade Fed
had a few of the good droids (the rolling ones) but not many. This seemed to
be on purpose, plot-wise; since the blockade was financially motivated, the
army was put together as cheaply as possible. Ya gets what ya pays for, I
guess...
> 3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with
> their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.
True. Since they had the numbers advantage, they should've concentrated
their fire on fewer targets at a time.
>
> 4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly
> designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
> their opponents.
And vice versa. They can pick up weapons too. And use better ones. No
problems for me here. Again, they seemed to me to be obviously cheap and
flimsy.
> 5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
I thought Vallorum (?) was the one with the political troubles.
> 6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly
> proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms
> hopes to sell to small children.
Cynical, but unfortunately accurate.
> 7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.
Yeah, but don't forget Jabba's frog-in-a-bong!
> 8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black pants, red eyes, a
> red and black face, a red light saber, and horns, but for some reason left
> his "I'M EVIL!" T-shirt at home.
Actually he WAS wearing it, but it's black type on a black shirt, so...
> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
> Blackbird covered in chrome.
Ya know, I really liked that ship until you pointed this out. Phooey.
> 10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
Except force fields and other light-sabre blades...I wonder if they can
block a proton torpedo. (see below)
> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
> tea?")
Who said this was the same C-3PO? That's a model number, not a name. There
are lots of him in all the movies. It seems to be a popular and useful
design, if not too bright. (Don't forget the trash-compactor scene)
> 12. Training for being a Queen's Decoy evidently doesn't include acting
lessons.
You'd think it would, wouldn't you? After all it's sort of the job
description....
> 13. Play-by-play sportscasters are the same no matter what galaxy you're in.
This should've been done differently. The faces were too human to be
attached to that body. What ever happened to that flat, bent, funny lookin'
gruntin' thing from the corner of the cantina? More of that kind of alien,
please; enough two-eyed, two-armed, two-legged things. I though CGI was
supposed to get rid of the "guy in a costume with putty on his forehead"
look once and for all.
> 14. Even giant reptilian blobs like to have scantly clad human women in
> their entourage.
In brass bikinis, no less. Did you get a good look at his wife?
> 15. Yoda's mustache makes him look like a 300-year old Wilford Brimley
I liked the ear-hair, myself.
> 16. If you took out all the scenes with direct equivalents in the first
> three Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace would be 15 minutes long.
Aw, I dunno. It's not as bad in that respect as Alien/Aliens, where some
scenes were redone almost shot for shot, and the ENDING was even the same.
Hrmph. I'll spare you the list, but watchem' back to back some time. Aliens
is a movie that has NOT aged well, unlike the original.
> 18. All giant starships are required by law to have one point in the ship
> where a chain reaction can be started by a single laser blast from a
> member of the Skywalker family.
If Lucas tries to pull this one over on us one more time, I'm going out
there to California to personally shit in his hat. The weakest part of the
film. And why weren't the other Naboo pilots using torpedoes? Even if they
each only have a pair, they could've ripped that cheap ship apart. Don't
forget what we learned in A New Hope- proton torpedoes ignore forceshields.
("The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes."
Womprat discussion ensues.)
>
> 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did as
> Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
We've never before seen a Jedi in his/her prime, so phooey on you. This
whole sequence was great.
Michael E. Broda
"Kevin A. Roll" wrote:
> In article <7i42s2$2n1$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, screa...@monad.net says...
>
> > > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
> > as
> > > Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
> >
> > Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
> > standing right next to them.
>
> Or see right through the Queen's deception...
>
They did see through the queens deception...check the ObiWan QuiGon reaction
shot after she comes forward...they look at eachother as if they knew all
along...as far as Palpatine goes...
"Hard to see, the dark side is..."
broda
Marcus Davis
The Rogue wrote:
> David Bernardi wrote:
> > Lawrence Person <lawr...@bga.com> wrote in message
> > news:lawrence-200...@apm5-178.realtime.net...
> > > (Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't read a
> > > single review. -LP)
>
> 24. The Jedi mind trick generally only works on human StormTroopers.
> Every other species except the Twileks is immune to it.
>
Qui-Gon used it on Boss Nass twice. Once to get Nass to provide transport
for them, and then he used the Jedi Mind trick again, to convince Nass to
allow Jar Jar to come with them.
The Rogue
I never said successfully complete their training...
^^^^^^^^
> -jason
And besides that, it's a gag.
--
The Rogue
rogue<AT>coastalweb<DOT>net
http://www.coastalweb.net/rogue/
Patrick Boie
>>> designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by
>>> their opponents.
>>
>>And vice versa. They can pick up weapons too. And use better ones.
>
Because they are cheap and low-budget. The good battle droids HAD built-in
guns.
> Moreover, why are they humanoid?
My gripe about the aliens applies here as well. I would have liked a more
"alien" design.
>Unless you're climbing things, I'd imagine that a bunch of
> independently-articulated wheels would get the
> job done just as well as a pair of legs (that need all kinds of
> equipment just to be able to move around.)
Well, there seem to be lots of walking droids, so the biped-gyroscope
mechanism probably isn't as complex as it sounds. Don't forget what a pain
in the ass steps and stairs are for a wheelchair, even a good one.
>>> 9. The most futuristic starship in The Republic's fleet is an SR-71
>>> Blackbird covered in chrome.
>>
>>Ya know, I really liked that ship until you pointed this out. Phooey.
>
> What, you're saying that now that it looks like an SR-71 you don't
> like it anymore?
Not at all, but I thought it was a neat original design, different from the
other boxy ships of the series. I still like the "backwards" Naboo fighters.
>>> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
>>> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
>>> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
>>> tea?")
>>
>>Who said this was the same C-3PO? That's a model number, not a name.
>
> Are you really suggesting that it's NOT the same one? With the same
> voice? And the same mannerisms? And (roughly) the same design?
>
> According to the fiction, droids get their memories wiped all the
> time.
Yeah, but howcome R2 remembers Obi Wan? Sure, it's probably the same C-3PO,
and he probably gets his memory erased at some point. It's such a cop-out
though. Who knows, maybe he gets blasted apart and rebuilt again like in
ESB, but losing his "mind" in the process. I'm just saying it doesn't have
to be this way.
On a side note, I'll bet that the "I don't seem to remember owning a droid"
line is actually worked into a running gag through 2 & 3, with R2 always
underfoot...
>>Aliens is a movie that has NOT aged well, unlike the original.
>
> Speak for yourself.
I can only speak for myself...but seriously watch Alien and Aliens back to
back. I guarantee you'll get deja-vu all over the place. Blow it out the
airlock again? Come on. Drop a crate on that big head, or something. I'm a
big fan of the whole series (up to the last 20 minutes of the last one- the
first hour is Tee-riffic), but I find Aliens to be weaker than most people
do. I can't wait for the new expanded DVD though. The sentry guns are my
favorite scene in the movie!
pb
Chris Nelson
Lawrence Person wrote in message ...
>(Made up all by my lonesome. Mild spoilers if you haven't
read a single
>review. -LP)
>5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
Valorum is Clinton: a good leader bogged down by baseless
allegations, attacked politically by the dark side (the
right-wing).
:)
Chris Nelson
Melissa Algeo
>> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid
>> might mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the
>> first movie.
kfgecko> I hated this part. C3PO did not have to be introduced in
kfgecko> this movie let alone be created by Anikin. At least R2D2
kfgecko> was made to have PURPOSEFUL existence in this movie. I
kfgecko> would have preferred a better reason for C3PO's existence.
kfgecko> Everybody's a bit TOO internetworked.
kfgecko> But at the same time, it makes sense why C3PO is such a
kfgecko> wimp.
Actually, I think Threepio did have a purpose. Anakin's easy
abandonment of Threepio demonstrates his incipient callousness.
Threepio was not only his construct but his companion and friend, yet
he walked away with no more than "I'll make sure my mother doesn't
sell you" without even finishing the droid's construction.
Another droid might have served the same purpose, but perhaps we cared
a bit more because it was Threepio.
--
mel...@vorlon.mit.edu Melissa Algeo mal...@inso.com
"The safest way to make laws respected
is to make laws respectable."
-Frederic Bastiat
Rick Sanford
Just my $0.02.
~Rick-0~
Chris Nelson <criskity@REMOVE_THISia.net> wrote in message
news:7i57k6$9v5$1...@composer.inav.net...
lancefam
Melissa Algeo wrote:
> >>>>> "kfgecko" == Kung Fu Gecko <kfg...@my-dejanews.com> writes:
>
> >> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid
> >> might mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the
> >> first movie.
>
> kfgecko> I hated this part. C3PO did not have to be introduced in
> kfgecko> this movie let alone be created by Anikin. At least R2D2
> kfgecko> was made to have PURPOSEFUL existence in this movie. I
> kfgecko> would have preferred a better reason for C3PO's existence.
> kfgecko> Everybody's a bit TOO internetworked.
>
> kfgecko> But at the same time, it makes sense why C3PO is such a
> kfgecko> wimp.
>
> Actually, I think Threepio did have a purpose. Anakin's easy
> abandonment of Threepio demonstrates his incipient callousness.
> Threepio was not only his construct but his companion and friend, yet
> he walked away with no more than "I'll make sure my mother doesn't
> sell you" without even finishing the droid's construction.
>
> Another droid might have served the same purpose, but perhaps we cared
> a bit more because it was Threepio.
>
> --
> mel...@vorlon.mit.edu Melissa Algeo mal...@inso.com
> "The safest way to make laws respected
> is to make laws respectable."
> -Frederic Bastiat
Your absolutely right. I knew something was bothering me, but could not
put my finger on it till now. He did just kind of blow of 3PO, which is
strange.
Nancy Lebovitz
>
>Why not build better ones _into_ them, right from the get-go?
>imagine that a bunch of independently-articulated wheels would get the
>job done just as well as a pair of legs (that need all kinds of
>equipment just to be able to move around.)
>
*I* want to know why they had those silly-looking duck bills.
--
Nancy Lebovitz na...@netaxs.com
Calligraphic button catalogue available by email!
MN1st
>Boy, you actually take time to write this when everybody else is out
>there at the movies having a fun time ??
>I can see why some people have no lives, spending their spare time
>bashing other people's enjoyment of movies.
>A simple 'i didnt like it heres why' would have sufficed.
But it wouldn't have been as funny.
>PS : btw, i can tell youre a Star Trek fan. Get over it.
You might take your own advice. As George Lucas said, "It's only a movie."
Doug Berry
phyd...@liii.com (Dave Weingart) pass this message on to me:
>One day in Teletubbyland, dbe...@hooked.net (Doug Berry) said:
>>Go away and watch Silent Running and Dark Star, then come back
>>and tell me about good SF movies.
>
>Of course, Silent Running isn't exactly a good SF movie (it's not a
>bad movie, but it's not a good SF movie).
Just saw Silent Running again on tape. It's not great, but it
has it's moments..
>
>Now, Forbidden Planet, OTOH...
is a classic of the genre, and deserves to be seen as a mandatory
part of childhood education.
I'd love to screen "The Tempest" one day, and "Forbidden Planet"
the next to a bunch of kids, and see if they got that they were
watching the same story.
Joe Ramirez
>> > 22. Lucas' women don't like to let their sons know who their father
>> is.
>
>The book goes into better detail about this:
>Anakin doesn't have a father. He was formed by the midi-chlorian in
>his mother's body. wierd.
So where did the Y chromosome come from? A child that is essentially
a clone of a female parent must be female.
Of course, this isn't your problem; it's Lucas's. If he tries to
concoct a scientific basis for his "miracle," it's not likely to be
sensible.
Joe Ramirez
Teresita Redinger
> So where did the Y chromosome come from? A child that is
> essentially a clone of a female parent must be female.
>
> Of course, this isn't your problem; it's Lucas's. If he tries
> to concoct a scientific basis for his "miracle," it's not likely
> to be sensible.
A Y chromosome is simply a truncated X. It's possible the chloroform thingies
that are responsible for the force sliced one of the X chromosomes before he
began to undergo mitosis.
Teresita
mike weber
1999 16:52:19 GMT,
:
>The post was funny, and spot-on target. Xan, I think you need to
>get out more, and see dome good SF. I suggest _Dark Star_ for
>starters.
He'll claim that O'Bannon and Carpenter stole from STAR WARS.
((BTW -- how many other people who have seen DARK STAR have noticed
that the computer-search sequence when R2 is looking for the location
of the tractor beam is essentially the same in terms of design and
staging as the one in DARK STAR when Talby is looking for the
malfunctioning laser? Not a surprise -- Dan O'Bannon did both of
them...))
--
"I long ago come to the conclusion that everything in life is
six-to-five against." -- Damon Runyan
<mike weber> <kras...@mindspring.com>
Ambitious Incomplete web site: http://weberworld.virtualave.net
Lizard
(John Savard) wrote:
>lawr...@bga.com (Lawrence Person) wrote, in part:
>
>>5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."
>
>Nah. Clinton was supposed to be that other guy, "mired in baseless
>accusations of scandal".
>
I did not have sex with THAT droid.
*----------------------------------------------------*
Evolution doesn't take prisoners:Lizard
Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice;
Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue:AuH20
http://www.mrlizard.com
Lizard
<bbi...@email.msn.com> wrote:
>
>Simon H. Lee <sh...@cornell.edu> wrote in message
>news:7i4ajq$f...@newsstand.cit.cornell.edu...
>> ke...@secant.com (Kevin A. Roll) stood up and told the
>> Ewoks the story about:
>> >
>> >In article <7i42s2$2n1$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, screa...@monad.net says...
>> >
>> >> > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
>> >> as
>> >> > Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
>> >>
>> >> Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
>> >> standing right next to them.
>> >
>> >Or see right through the Queen's deception...
>>
>> Hmm... Qui-Gon's little jabs at Padme's "The Queen doesn't..."
>> act certainly imply that he knows what's going on.
>
>I agree, also. I read the book and I got the impression he knew. But
>I'm still confused about them (especially Yoda) not 'sensing a distrubance
>in the force' with the Senator. ??????
I have a theory about that...I wonder if Palpatine IS Sidious -- or
just a clone of Sidious, perhaps sans Midichlorians. It would fit the
whole 'dualism' theme running through the movie and provide an
interesting thematic parallel to Amidala/Padme. And it would make the
introduction of the midichlorians serve a valuable plot purpose.
Doug Berry
dum...@aol.com (Doug Wickstrom) pass this message on to me:
>On Fri, 21 May 1999 16:49:01 GMT, dbe...@hooked.net (Doug Berry)
>caught my attention by saying:
>
>>On Fri, 21 May 1999 05:58:19 GMT, the Secret Masters made
>>dart...@my-dejanews.com pass this message on to me:
>>
>>
>>>And I learned 1 thing while reading your post...
>>>
>>>1. You obviously don't know jack shit about Star Wars or any good
>>>science fiction movie for that matter.
>>
>>Go away and watch Silent Running and Dark Star, then come back
>>and tell me about good SF movies.
>
>But Doug, "Dark Star" was _supposed_ to be bad. It's hardly a fair
>comparison.
Low budget, yes, intentionally bad? That last sequence still
haunts me.
Wipeout.
Doug Berry
otto...@the.couch (Otto) pass this message on to me:
>Why not build better ones _into_ them, right from the get-go?
>Moreover, why are they humanoid? Unless you're climbing things, I'd
>imagine that a bunch of independently-articulated wheels would get the
>job done just as well as a pair of legs (that need all kinds of
>equipment just to be able to move around.)
Yeah, wheels under an armored skirt, intergal beam weapon..
.. they could shout "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" as they rolled
around..
<ducking and running>
Ben Johnson
>
> 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
> mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie. ("Oh,
> by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader. More
> tea?")
Unless 3PO's memory banks were erased.
Ben Johnson
> --
> Lawrence Person
> lawr...@bga.com
>
> New issue of Nova Express Now Available!
> Nova Express Website: http://www.delphi.com/sflit/novaexpress/
--
*Note spam block in email address.
Mike
(Kevin A. Roll) wrote:
> In article <7i42s2$2n1$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, screa...@monad.net says...
>
> > > 19. Using The Force allows Jedi Knights to jump as high as Jet Li did
> > as
> > > Fong Sai Yuk, but with more justification.
> >
> > Yet they still can't sense the evil dark side present in a Senator
> > standing right next to them.
>
> Or see right through the Queen's deception...
I thought it was pretty obvious that Qui-gon didn't buy the "handmaiden"
thing for a minute - it certainly was ridiculously obvious to the
audience.
Mike
Mike
> And I learned 1 thing while reading your post...
>
> 1. You obviously don't know jack shit about Star Wars or any good
> science fiction movie for that matter.
>
Thanks for your input, Dan. Now get a life.
Mike
(or at least make a point)
Paul Casiero
> Your absolutely right. I knew something was bothering me, but could >not
> put my finger on it till now. He did just kind of blow of 3PO, which >is
> strange.
Yeah, but didn't he mention he was building the droid for his mother?
Maybe he left him behind for her. He wasn't finished, but he was
working, kind of. After all, Anni couldn't leave his slave mother with
Nothing heheh
Rev. Jihad Frenzy
> What Lucas doesn't care about anymore is filmmaking. Coppola
> made a strong point when he commented: "Why would he waste
> his whole life doing Star Wars when he was such a brilliant
> filmmaker?" The answer: money, most of which comes from toys.
>
Sour Grapes, Francis.
Lucas has a story to tell. He's telling it the way he chooses. Coppola
tells stories his way, as does every other filmmaker, composer, writer,
dance choriographer, etc etc et al, ad nauseum.
Coppola's real problem is that the dirty smelly ignorant hoi polloi choose
to spend their money seeing the stories Lucas and Speilberg tell, rather
than the stories Francis tells.
--
Windows 2000: You'll envy the dead!
<http://www.gis.net/~cht>
Stinkbug
Ben Johnson <mall...@SPAMmminternet.com> wrote in article
<3746DC...@SPAMmminternet.com>...
: Lawrence Person wrote:
:
: >
: > 11. If Annakin Skywalker built C3PO, you would think the droid might
: > mention this to Luke Skywalker at some point during the first movie.
("Oh,
: > by the way, your father built me and also happens to be Darth Vader.
More
: > tea?")
:
: Unless 3PO's memory banks were erased.
:
: Ben Johnson
:
Tonight I plan on watching episodes 4, 5, and 6 to see if Darth Vader ever
encounters C3PO, and if he does, does he acknowledge their past? Does he
ever encounter R2 and acknowledge their past? After all, Anakin created
3PO, and spent some time with R2.
Would be interesting to see if that little bit of continuity is there. Did
Lucas think of that 20 years ago?
Becky
Lydia Nickerson
>Dark Star! Yes!
>No one else I've ever talked to has even heard of this movie =)
You, my friend, talk to the wrong people. Ok, probably not. It's been
popular at sf cons for years, though, and most fans I know have seen it at
least once. Have you heard that it's coming out on DVD? I can't wait.
--
----
Lydia Nickerson ly...@ddb.com
Akela
Franklin Harris
Stinkbug <joe...@planet.eon.com> wrote in message
news:01bea49f$ea607d60$2a47800a@joe128...
> Tonight I plan on watching episodes 4, 5, and 6 to see if Darth Vader ever
> encounters C3PO, and if he does, does he acknowledge their past? Does he
> ever encounter R2 and acknowledge their past? After all, Anakin created
> 3PO, and spent some time with R2.
Vader encounters C-3PO briefly on Cloud City. This is in the freezing
chamber when C-3PO is strapped to Chewbacca's back.
Vader never encounters Artoo, unless you count shooting him in the Death
Star trench in "A New Hope."
> Would be interesting to see if that little bit of continuity is there. Did
> Lucas think of that 20 years ago?
Lucas pulled it out of his ass a few years ago.
--
Franklin Harris
Pulp Culture Online
tfha...@hiwaay.net
http://home.hiwaay.net/~tfharris
Beth Friedman
>I'd love to screen "The Tempest" one day, and "Forbidden Planet"
>the next to a bunch of kids, and see if they got that they were
>watching the same story.
I think it's going rather far to say it's the same story. There's an
element of hubris that's present in "Forbidden Planet" that isn't there in
"The Tempest." In "The Tempest," Prospero is totally in control of the
entire scenario -- and comes out of it triumphant. In "Forbidden Planet,"
the scientist has unleashed the monsters of the id without knowing what they
are -- and sacrifices his life to help repair the situation.
--
Beth Friedman
b...@wavefront.com
slugbait
(and it was James Gurney that did those paintings of Dinotopia.)
richard
Nancy Lebovitz wrote:
>
>
> But back to the pleasures of the movie--a lot of the city scenes were
> very reminiscent of _Dinotopia_--was the same artist (James Gurney,
> I think) involved?
Gregory Cook
=10. A light saber can evidently cut through anything.
... we already knew that from the original movies. #;-}>
------------------------------------------------------------
Greg "Fox" Cook -- Rice University 2000 -- English Major
gfox...@earthlink.net - http://home.earthlink.net/~gfoxcook
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