Crystal Huggers
James Kibo Parry
"Aesclepius" (ascl...@netcomuk.co.uk) advertised:
>
> Greetings,
>
> I'd like to introduce you to our family of Crystal Huggers.
I'd like to introduce you to what I had for lunch, coming right up.
> I was present when the very first Crystal Hugger was born - I felt very much
> like the proud father.................
A chip off the old blockhead.
> The attached photo is a very good likeness.
Of a wad of blue fake dog doo wrapped around a Swedish deorant stone.
> Their mother - and creator-of-all- Huggers - writes:-
>
> Crystal Huggers were born on Wednesday, October 7th, 1998, by Stacie Coller
> Adams during a nap which followed a visit to a power spot in the mountains
> of North Carolina.
i.e. the only spot in the mountains of North Carolina that had working power.
> "This emotion and connection with the Earth as a living Being seeped into my
> dreamtime and communicated to me a piece of sculptural art work
(as opposed to a sculptural spreadsheet)
> that HAD to be made immediately.
>
> My hands started creating this vision that I had seen in my dream, and
> within one hour of waking, Aesclepius and I were staring at the very first
> Crystal Hugger.
And it was wearing an "I'M WITH STUPID" T-shirt.
> To me as the artist, the Crystal Hugger represents humanity cradling the
> awesome beauty of nature... with respect, with reverence, even with a little
> repentance for that which we have taken for granted for so very long.
I still say it looks like a fake dog turd painted blue. With GLITTER.
I say it represent's man's inner need to make dog poop look pretty.
> The figure of the human sits as the primordial mud from whence it was born
> and the crystal, beautiful and perfect, stands erect in it's
> physical manifestation of nature's ultimate intelligence. The
> underlying message is also, that despite the great differences between
> humanity and the rest of the kingdoms... we are all still connected and
> inseparable. We are all the manifestation of One Great Universal Heart...
> no matter what you call it."
HELP! LET ME OUT OF HERE! SOMEONE STARTED SHOWING "STAR TREK V" IN
HERE AND THE DOORS ARE LOCKED! THIS IS INHUMAN! AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!
MISTERRRRR!!!! TAMBOURINE!!!! MANNNN!!!! TALLY ME BANANARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!
> The Crystal Huggers are not just a practical stand to hold up and
> display your cherished crystals,
Oh, so the lump of dog doo holding a white rock doesn't include the rock.
This deal gets better every minute! NOW 100% DOG DOO WITH NO ROCKS OR
OTHER EXTENDERS!
> they represent the love that stands in awe of All That Is.
Or stands in doo of All That Did.
> The crystal which is engulfed by the arms of humanity can be removed as
> needed for healing, meditation, or cleansing and does not have to have a
> flat bottom.
Sparkly blue puppy poo does not have to come from a flat bottom.
I loved the episode of Sparkly Blue Puppy Poo where Freddy and Velma ran
away from the scary monster that tried to sell them globs of things
to put rocks on top of.
> This is a great opportunity for us to display those crystals which cannot
> point to the Heavens on their own. You may display your crystals as a work
> of art and even write your wishes down on a small piece of paper and tuck it
> under the the crystal for manifesting.
IT'S DOGGY DOO AND A PAPERWEIGHT TOO!
> Please give your Crystal Hugger a peaceful place to sit in it's perpetual
> meditation, and let it serve to remind us that sending loving energy out to
> the Universe can change our world and our reality into something truly
> magical.
Dog doo can change our Universe into something truly magical.
Or, something truly magical could change our Universe into dog doo.
> If you'd like further information please send me a private email:-
>
> ascl...@netcomuk.co.uk
>
> With many crystal blessings
>
> Aesclepius
May you live long on Procrustes's bed.
> begin 666 crysthugger.jpg
SATANIC DOG DOO! AUGH! BAD SNOOPY!
-- K.
For those who haven't
seen it, it does look
like sparkly blue
puppy poo. It's the only
piece of art nobody could
put down with "I COULD
PULL A BETTER SCULPTURE
OUT OF MY DOG'S ASS!"
Chris Franks
> For those who haven't seen it, it does look
> like sparkly blue puppy poo. It's the only
> piece of art nobody could put down with "I COULD
> PULL A BETTER SCULPTURE OUT OF MY DOG'S ASS!"
A couple of years ago the San Jose City Council paid exactly $400,000
to a sculptor for a similar piece of "art". Only it was brown, not
blue. They named it "Quetzalcoatl" but everyone recognizes it as a
$400K canine turd.
Complete with worms!
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > [...] It's the only piece of art nobody could put down with
> > "I COULD PULL A BETTER SCULPTURE OUT OF MY DOG'S ASS!"
>
If Scott LaRoche were Ben Stiller.
MAW! KIBO DONE PUSHED THE CULTURAL OBSCURANTISM PAST THE McIRVIN LIMIT AGAIN!
-- K.
See this guy, Sissy?
He's what we call "Pro-NASDA".
(cut to Dave Cross launching
a Japanese space shuttle
with a hairy hand. Scott
Ramming confuses him with
Clint Howard, then drinks
some pink grapefruit juice
just to make Baby Balok cry.)
I will diagram the part of this post that Matt McIrvin can't.
Joseph Michael Bay
>It all comes around to OUTER SPACE, which proves that Dr. Jenkins was
>misguided, though well-intentioned, when he simulated the ghost of a
>Spanish conquistador to stop the space program in order that we might
>focus on problems here on Earth.
And he would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you
meddling kids. And that dog.
--
Joseph Bay Mmmm . . . antigenic.
"Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed". "Dog's don't know it's not Bacon".
Hi! I'm a replicative .signature transposon! Copy me into your .signature!
Matt McIrvin
(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>Michael Driscoll (fen...@ulf.edgemail.com) wrote:
>
>> Maw, the dog's been eatin' the Faberge eggs agin!
>
>If Scott LaRoche were Ben Stiller.
>
>MAW! KIBO DONE PUSHED THE CULTURAL OBSCURANTISM PAST THE McIRVIN LIMIT AGAIN!
>
> -- K.
>
> See this guy, Sissy?
> He's what we call "Pro-NASDA".
> (cut to Dave Cross launching
> a Japanese space shuttle
> with a hairy hand. Scott
> Ramming confuses him with
> Clint Howard, then drinks
> some pink grapefruit juice
> just to make Baby Balok cry.)
>
>I will diagram the part of this post that Matt McIrvin can't.
Everything but the "Scott LaRoche."
Maw
^
|
Sissy<-Ben Stiller AOL ads--->"Pro-NAFTA"--->NASDA (Japanese space agency)
| |
V V
Dave Cross with monkey glove and "Zarathustra"->HOPE-X shuttle
| | |
V | |
Scott Ramming thought Clint Howard was V V
Dave Cross in "Apollo 13"--------------->outer space
| ^
V /
Clint Howard played baby Balok on "Star Trek"-------
It all comes around to OUTER SPACE, which proves that Dr. Jenkins was
misguided, though well-intentioned, when he simulated the ghost of a
Spanish conquistador to stop the space program in order that we might
focus on problems here on Earth.
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Michael Driscoll (fen...@ulf.edgemail.com) wrote:
> > >
> > > Maw, the dog's been eatin' the Faberge eggs agin!
> >
> > If Scott LaRoche were Ben Stiller.
> >
> > MAW! KIBO DONE PUSHED THE CULTURAL OBSCURANTISM PAST THE
> > McIRVIN LIMIT AGAIN!
> >
> > (cut to Dave Cross launching a Japanese space shuttle
> > with a hairy hand. Scott Ramming confuses him with
> > Clint Howard, then drinks some pink grapefruit juice
> > just to make Baby Balok cry.)
> >
> > I will diagram the part of this post that Matt McIrvin can't.
>
> Everything but the "Scott LaRoche."
>
> Maw
> ^
> |
> Sissy<-Ben Stiller AOL ads--->"Pro-NAFTA"--->NASDA (Japanese space agency)
> | |
> V V
> Dave Cross with monkey glove and "Zarathustra"->HOPE-X shuttle
> | | |
> V | |
> Scott Ramming thought Clint Howard was V V
> Dave Cross in "Apollo 13"--------------->outer space
> | ^
> V /
> Clint Howard played baby Balok on "Star Trek"-------
First of all I am apalled that you called Ben Stiller a sissy after all
those years that he worked with Andy Dick, who is a much bigger sissy.
Second, you missed the OTHER HALF OF THE BLEEDIN' TREE, the part about
Scott LaRoche. He has one of the world's most important Web pages,
the one about dogs pooping out things like Barbie dolls and Lego astronauts.
http://www.watchingyou.com/poop.html
He was born as the result of the merger of a grass-seed company and
a pharmaceutical company, and it shows. Scott-LaRouche Industries is
now the world leader in Web pages that talk about dog poop while making
your lawn greener and letting you not die. For a fee.
Dr. McIrvin also missed the fact that the initial exclamation was a
callback to "The baloney's chasing the dog again!" as well as Ben Stiller's
AOL anti-vertisement. The baloney meme came from this exchange I had
with Dr. McIrvin's fellow scientist Archimedes Plutonium:
-> > No, I need a powerful politician, who like in the cold fusion baloney
-> > put a stopper to it.
->
-> "Honey, the baloney's chasing the dog again!"
->
-> "I'll fix that with this new BALONEY STOPPER! From Rubbermaid!"
Matt also failed to note that the "Apollo 13" reference was to Richard
Nixon, the star of the pinball machine based on the movie, and also that
Clint "Baby Balok" Howard was more prominently featured in Tom Hanks's
"From The Earth To The Moon" episode about Apollo 13 than he was in
in Tom Hanks's "Apollo 13" movie about Apollo 13 and/or Richard Nixon,
noting that said movie was preceded at my local theater by the trailer
for "Nixon" where the camera slowly circled around Nixon while going
from positive to negative just like in that "Star Trek" episode where
the crazy guy kept falling off Vasquez Rock because they always go to
Vasquez Rock and somebody always falls off. Also that episode featured
the space-time warp that had a convenient handrail.
> It all comes around to OUTER SPACE, which proves that Dr. Jenkins was
> misguided, though well-intentioned, when he simulated the ghost of a
> Spanish conquistador to stop the space program in order that we might
> focus on problems here on Earth.
OH NO! HEADLINE NEWS JUST SAID THE STOCK MARKET "GOT PUSHED INTO
NEGATIVE TERRITORY"! QUICK, EVERYONE, CONVERT YOUR LIFE SAVINGS TO ANTIMATTER!
JUMP OFF VASQUEZ ROCK! CATCH YOU LATER, BILL & TED!
-- K.
I hadda dog what ate antimatta.
Teg Pipes
> Second, you missed the OTHER HALF OF THE BLEEDIN' TREE, the part about
> Scott LaRoche. He has one of the world's most important Web pages,
> the one about dogs pooping out things like Barbie dolls and Lego astronauts.
>
> http://www.watchingyou.com/poop.html
From this web page:
This was sent in by Coun...@aol.com. "We had a Scottish Terrier that ate
the plastic tinsel off the Christmas tree. When we saw a small piece of
silver sticking out of her butt we started pulling, all 15 inches of it
pulled out in one piece. We stopped using tinsel after that."
Hm. I think I would've KEPT using tinsel and STOPPED using a leash.
-Teg