Archimedes Deuterium, Usenet's finest mind
Gardner S. Trask III
AI Simulation Daemon wrote:
> Holy, holy, holy! Archimedes Deuterium demonstrated beyond all doubt that 6 and 28
> are the sums of their proper divisors respectively.
>
> \0/ \0/\ \ / / \0/ \0/ \0/\ \ / /\0/ \0/ Archimedes Deuterium
> | / /) | (\ | | / /) | (\ \ |
> / \__/\__/0\__/0\__/0\__/ \__/ \__/\__/0\__/0\__/0\__/\__/ \
Been there. Done that.
---re post - re post - re post repost
Subject: Re: How to get a longer penis...
From: tr...@world.std.com (Gardner S Trask)
Date: 1997/02/26
Message-Id: <E67ou...@world.std.com>
References: <evafqs1...@vipe.ii.uib.no> <32CBA0...@interport.net>
<32d2541f...@news.onramp.net> <teddyburE...@netcom.com>
<32DA00...@deathsdoor.com> <333a8f81...@news.onramp.net>
<5dvkkh$l...@cnn.exu.ericsson.se> <330D8A10.1
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Newsgroups:
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[Fewer Headers]
abos...@netcom.com (Alan Bostick) writes:
>In article <E65wC...@world.std.com>,
>tr...@world.std.com (Gardner S Trask) wrote:
>> Tammy Marie Woomer <two...@wam.umd.edu> writes:
>>
>> <snip>
>>
>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > o \ o / _ o __| \ / |__ o _ \ o / o
>> > /|\ | /\ __\o \o | o/ o/__ /\ | /|\
>> > / \ / \ | \ /) | ( \ /o\ / ) | (\ / | / \ / \
>> >===========================================================================
>>
>>
>> Thus spake the TRASKMOBILE!!!!!!!!
>>
>> ****************************************************************************
>>
>> VROOOOOOOMMMMMM. SCREEECH. thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud
>> thud swerve screeeech. wumwumwumwuwmwumwumwumwuwun. sqeeeeeeeeeeeellllll
>>
>> **************************************************************************
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > o
>> > _ /|\
>> > 0- \ / 0 /) \0 |_\ ] [ \| )/ / \
>> >==/==\===0=====}=============\0===0====0\===0/__====\__==~~~===============
>> ~ / ) / \ / | (\ /0 /0\
>> ~
>> ~~~
>> ~~ ~~~
>> ~~~~~~~~
>> ~~
>>
>>
>>
>> Gard "leave at least one survivor to tell the tale." Trask
>I think it would have reflected better on your aesthetic sense, not to
>mention your manly skill at manipulating the Traskmobile, if you had left
>one of the tumblers in the middle unscathed, rather than taking the easy
>way out.
They were all just traffic cones to me. Anyhow, I wanted a coherent
eyewitness account, not something like "But I was upside down, all I saw
was oil pan and grill chrome, I have no idea what the driver looked like"!
Gard "Standard Traskmobile wear includes silk scarf and aviator goggles"
Trask
James Kibo Parry
In four groups, "Gardner S. Trask III" <tr...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
> AI Simulation Daemon [the bad parody of the very witty Archimedes Pu] wrote:
> >
> > Holy, holy, holy! Archimedes Deuterium demonstrated beyond all doubt that
> > 6 and 28 are the sums of their proper divisors respectively.
> >
> > \0/ \0/\ \ / / \0/ \0/ \0/\ \ / /\0/ \0/ Archimedes
> > / \__/\__/0\__/0\__/0\__/ \__/ \__/\__/0\__/0\__/0\__/\__/ \
>
> Been there. Done that.
I have elided Yeoman Gardorrie Trask's repost of the Traskmobile crushing all
the little men because I like saying "elided". The nougat dodecahedron
has also been masterfully elided. I also like saying "I also like saying".
I LIKE MITTENS!!!
Matt McIrvin will be unable to explain the deal with Yeoman Dorrie Trask.
And now, a repost of an article I didn't write. If anyone asks, I shall
explain which sentence is a direct quote from my lovely wife, Barbara Bain.
-- K.
Remember back in 1994,
when people were posting
new articles instead of
articles from 1994?
I DON'T!!!
P.S. Matt, PKD just admitted that he was the one who blew up his tax records.
From: mci...@scws37.harvard.edu (Matt McIrvin)
Subject: Re: Important Announcement
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <32qv2p$6...@scunix2.harvard.edu>
Date: 16 Aug 1994 18:04:09 GMT
In article <CuK7K...@acsu.buffalo.edu>, <Lo...@aol.com> wrote:
>\ / _ _ /\ [ ] . |_
> ! ()u | @|| $() KKK-| /--\d q[_]|_ cuz { ()N|_ee | |@\/e @
>
>|- . _| * _ |/
>|_ R$-80 \/\/lf @ t@|]e |_|r!\/e. BT\/\/, d|_|z | |e1 |\ n()\/\/
> |
> _ | | * _ | !
>\/\/h@t @ | e(| |)()X IZ? U | @|_|_ KKK()()|__ !
> *
Holmes chewed contemplatively on his pipe and stared at the
cipher of the dancing ASCII.
"Hmm, yes, Watson," he said, "a most perplexing conundrum. I do
not believe I have been so at a loss for decipherment since we
chased the army of clones of Jack the Ripper onto the Titanic in
Hitler's time machine."
"I still do not understand," I said to him. "Since we are merely
characters in virtual reality, what does it matter whether you solve
the Mystery of the Dancing ASCII? Surely the player can merely
reboot the program and start us from square one."
"You neglect to consider," said Holmes, "that once the Loch Ness
Monster's head was cloned, it became possible to create duplicates
of living objects, perhaps even of ourselves. Have you not thought
it possible that we could be in the *real world*, or perhaps on a
fictional starship in the year 2369?" He took a deep draw from the
pipe, snorted three lines of cocaine he had bought from that crackpot
Freud (off on his way to shovel tons of it into the giant Adenoid on
the Strand, no doubt), smoked some crystal meth, dropped acid, and
injected himself intravenously with Black Flag insecticide.
"Why, no, Holmes, I hadn't... Why, indeed, we may be real! But,
then, what of Moriarty?"
"I am amazed, my dear Watson, that you were unable to deduce the
elementary fact that Moriarty, Hitler, Jack the Ripper, Qurzak of
Atzor (who murdered eleven prostitutes on Albemuth Seven in 2268),
Gharlane of Eddore, Nero, Harlan Ellison, Cher, Manny, Moe, Jack,
and so-called 'Satan' are actually all cross-sections of the same
transdimensional entity. I have, you see, written a monograph on
transdimensional entities. They tend to rap on tables in a distinctive
manner. I discovered this while following a trail of cigar ashes
up the face of El Capitan. You see, by covering itself with vermiculite,
this being was able to partially negate the effects of gravitational
attraction and transcend all space and time. It is the most basic
principle of physics: A beam of energy can always be controlled."
"Incredible."
"It's insane... But I digress. These ASCII characters... Watson,
can you make anything of them?"
"I can't say that I do, Holmes. Just looking at them makes my war
wounds ache: the one in my right knee, and the other one in my
left shoulder that came from the second gunman on the grassy knoll."
"Note the double-height vertical lines! I saw such lines on retail
products when we were making our last little jaunt through time and
space. They appear in the Universal Product Code, used in the late
twentieth century to genetically encode the true prices of products,
to be read with a concentrated proton beam without the knowledge of
the manufacturer. It was not discovered until 2110 that such proton
beams caused the human ear to become sensitive only to polarized light,
thus making music from the tropics inaudible. I believe that this
so-called message is no message at all: it in fact originates from
someone wishing to drive us mad."
"And who could that be?"
"Why, the author!"
"Why, amazing, Holmes! Surely this instance of self-reference in a
Sherlock Holmes pastiche is the cleverest thing ever written!"
After ingesting his daily megadose of vitamin C, Holmes merely smiled
and said, "Not half so clever as I am, Watson. Not half."
-Stanley H. Milton,
"The Adventure of the Robot and the Aztec Mummy,"
_Appropriated Tales_, September 1987
--
Matt 01234567 <-- Indent-o-Meter
McIrvin ^ Harnessing tab damage for peaceful ends!