Inconsistent btain II: the Survey
Nick Bensema
mind-bogglingly life-changing (running away to Japan) seemed easier to
me than something much easier and less risky (courting ladyfolk).
Like many ARK threads, the focus started drifting towards the dating
aspect. And I got lots of helpful advice, some of which was actually
not a cliché, in ways I could make dating seem as easy as moving to
Japan.
But I've also wondered, briefly: am I particularly foolhardy over my
desire to do the JET program thing? Am I not afraid enough of this?
The evidence says no, since the deadline to apply to go in 2002 is
pretty close, so I might put it off until 2003. I do have a secret
fear that in 2003, too many people will know about it, or there will
be a swarm of applicants if the recession over here kicks up, but my
non-anime-related knowledge of Japanese will probably give me an advantage
in the application process, as they will know that when I get over there
I won't call everybody "-chan". So, assuming I can enter the program,
do I really have a good enough idea of what I'm getting into?
My last big effort to move out of Phoenix was all the way back in
spring, when I went to that job interview for Humongous Entertainment,
just outside Seattle. I showed up barely on time to the interview,
drenched in sweat since I had to run there after walking the wrong way.
Fortunately, I had regained my composure and freshened up a bit by
the time I got called in. And I think I did OK in the interview, and
I answered a lot of questions, and it helped that there was a test in
the middle of it. I kick ass at tests. But, I was nervous. In fact,
I had almost considered ditching the interview as the day approached.
I even thought I might turn down the job if I couldn't find just the
right place to live, since transportation was a wee bit tricky. But,
if it weren't for all the layoffs that happened the following month,
I think I probably would have gotten the job and made the move.
And regarding JET, like I said, I'm prepared to wait until 2003, and
gather a bit more information until then, and maybe in the meantime
look at my options in Europe. I've got a trip to plan in the spring,
after all.
So, in conclusion, I'm pretty sure that my attitude isn't so incredibly
gung-ho towards the JET program that I'd jump into a pit of fire or
something. I seem to be enthusiastic, yet tempered by caution. And
therefore, I can count on myself not to make foolhardy decisions, even
if I decided to go in 2002.
But, what about you guys?
Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that most other
people regard as laughably easy, and yet completely confident at
something that would make most other people hide under their beds
and cry for their mothers?
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/
Rose Marie Holt
Bensema <ni...@io.com> claimed
Oh, yes. I was scared to leave my awful job and make my own business. Then
I lost my job and couldnt move because of joint custody of the kids.
Everyone in town was scared to hire me because we are a pretty closed system
here ("blackball"). At the same time I was going through a very rough
divorce. I spent 1999-2000 terrified. Now I am *much* better off. I do
have my own business going, and it is about 10 times harder than I thought
(and I am not an optimist) but now feel it is within my ability.
I also used to be terrified of social situations and anxious about
everything, but at 45 I now know that I'll survive, scared or not. Which
helps.
The thought of going on those giant bungee jumps at the fair makes me pretty
weak in the knees, and I like that sort of thing usually
What do I do that others find nerve wracking? Well, for a while there I had
sort of lost the habit of looking before crossing the street. A car ran a
red light and came so close to hitting me that the girl still on the curb
nearly had a fukkn heart attack. I was like, what? Had a couple car wrecks
in the past including a rollover - no fear. ALso got stuck in a snowstorm
on Galena Summit in the middle of the night and walked out about 8 miles.
No fear. The guy who picked me up was freaked out. I also kayak, even
though it scared the piss out of me the 1st 2 years. Now I am pretty
fearless. I think experience for me is the best fear killer, although I
have to go through hells of fear to get there ;') Oh, and drugs ;')
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
> But I've also wondered, briefly: am I particularly foolhardy over my
> desire to do the JET program thing? Am I not afraid enough of this?
nope. believe me, if I had marketable skills to
get a job for a few years in one of the countries
I'm interested in, I'd try it, just for the novelty.
and I'm more sullen and withdrawn than you.
this one guy who used to hang out with me until
he turned into an evil stalxor (another story)
did the teach-english-in-japan-thing. he had an
english degree, although since I was asked to
proofread one of his term papers, I can guarantee
he has worse english skills than you. but anyways,
he went to japan and did remarkably well ... of
course, because of his personality problems, he
picked a fight with his boss and was fired.
however, he then got *another* teaching job and
was allowed to stay in the country. he was fired
there, too, so he got *another* job. this zero
talent guy was able to work for EVERY COMPANY in
the area of Japan where he was living until he
had been fired from all of them, which took about
three years.
so if you can keep a job longer than a month,
you should do much better.
oh, and don't be an evil stalxor, because this
guy was finally forced out of Japan for stalxoring
some girl. the end.
Darla Vladschyk
>The point of my post was trying to figure out why something
>mind-bogglingly life-changing (running away to Japan) seemed easier to
>me than something much easier and less risky (courting ladyfolk).
Has there been any discussion about why you want to leave Phoenix in
the first place? If it's simply the demographics and the relentless
sunshine, why not go someplace closer and more Nick-friendly, but not
quite so life-rattling as Japan or Yurp? Is there nowhere else in
Seattle or Portland (the cool, rainy, yuppie-filled Northwest) you
could happily work? What about the east? Hell, how about Canadia?!
>Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that most other
>people regard as laughably easy, and yet completely confident at
>something that would make most other people hide under their beds
>and cry for their mothers?
Maybe. I am terrified of walking past groups of teenage boys, but I
have absolutely no fear of public speaking or being on stage.
-=Darla=-
_____________________________________________________________
"How come all those Taliban people have to talk
in these funny little squeaky voices like their
nuts never dropped or something?" ---wschmidt
.............................................................
http://www.thesalon.org/Darla
.............................................................
(Beable doidy wox-wox: Two Bits!)
_____________________________________________________________
Glenn Knickerbocker
>Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that most other
>people regard as laughably easy, and yet completely confident at
>something that would make most other people hide under their beds
>and cry for their mothers?
I cannot make a simple telephone call, but I'd never, ever quail at
getting up on stage and sightsinging Webern or Corelli or Dunstable.
Well, hardly ever.
ŹR http://members.aol.com/notr/kartuli "Hush! They
sing choruses in public. That's mad enough, I think."
Joe Manfre
> nope. believe me, if I had marketable skills to get a job for a few
> years in one of the countries I'm interested in, I'd try it, just
> for the novelty. and I'm more sullen and withdrawn than you.
I'd like to have marketable skills to impress a country too. There
may be only one or two people on ARK who get this.
JM
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland.
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is
the dismemberment plan." -- MegaHAL
Dean Lenort
> Maybe. I am terrified of walking past groups of teenage boys, but I
> have absolutely no fear of public speaking or being on stage.
Cool. My fears are the exact opposite of Darla's! Although I tend to
believe that perhaps we have some other fears that are in concert with each
other, but damn if I'm going to pay 45 bucks for a ticket to see what those
common fears might be!
--
Dean Lenort | Do Kibologists dream of electric dolphins,
dean....@att.net | or of inflatable sheep? -- K.
Jim Vandewalker
ni...@io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote:
> The point of my post was trying to figure out why something
> mind-bogglingly life-changing (running away to Japan) seemed easier to
> me than something much easier and less risky (courting ladyfolk).
>[snippeaux]
> Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that most other
> people regard as laughably easy, and yet completely confident at
> something that would make most other people hide under their beds
> and cry for their mothers?
To reply ONLY SLIGHTLY tangentially to this post, I start by saying that
ordinarily I would beleive that the notion of MOVING somewhere to
overcome percieved personal difficulties such as shyness about dating is
NOT actually a solution to the REAL problem which the movee is likely to
just drag along with him/her, BUT in Nick's case vis-a-vis Phoenix this
may not be strictly accurate.
See I BEEN to Phoenix and it DOESN'T look like a good town to have a
date in unless you got WHEELS. I mean it's spread out all over heck's
half acre, and the public transport is like MINIMAL to say the least.
When we checked in at the motel in Scottsdale we looked at the map and
Maggie's conference was up HERE and the motel was down HERE and the
motel said they'd provide transport to the conference and we thought we
could get the bus for other stuff, but BUT, when I asked at the desk
about a bus schedule they OBVIOUSLY couldn't beleive their ears that
somebody who WASN'T a Hispanic maid was going to ride the BUS and they
never DID send the bus schedule.
So I bet going on a date on the bus is like rilly rilly um, INCONVENIENT.
Whereas Portland, frinstance, I hear has GOOD public transport, plus an
actual DOWNTOWN along WITH a seperate FUNKY district.
Scottsdale just has an Old Town with bizarre cowboy art galleries.
--
Jim the Qrnq Thl
Nick Bensema
Jim Vandewalker <jim.van...@verizon.net> wrote:
>In article <r16H7.126753$tb2.9...@bin2.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com>,
> ni...@io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote:
>
>> The point of my post was trying to figure out why something
>> mind-bogglingly life-changing (running away to Japan) seemed easier to
>> me than something much easier and less risky (courting ladyfolk).
>
>>[snippeaux]
>
>> Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that most other
>> people regard as laughably easy, and yet completely confident at
>> something that would make most other people hide under their beds
>> and cry for their mothers?
>
>To reply ONLY SLIGHTLY tangentially to this post, I start by saying that
>ordinarily I would beleive that the notion of MOVING somewhere to
>overcome percieved personal difficulties such as shyness about dating is
>NOT actually a solution to the REAL problem which the movee is likely to
>just drag along with him/her, BUT in Nick's case vis-a-vis Phoenix this
>may not be strictly accurate.
Nobody ever has a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day in Japan.
>So I bet going on a date on the bus is like rilly rilly um, INCONVENIENT.
And the last thing I need is excuses.
>Whereas Portland, frinstance, I hear has GOOD public transport, plus an
>actual DOWNTOWN along WITH a seperate FUNKY district.
THe thing about moving there is that I have to use conventional
job-hunting techniques. With the recession and all, I can't say I
like my chances.
Whose Titan Elbow
> The point of my post was trying to figure out why something
> mind-bogglingly life-changing (running away to Japan) seemed
> easier to me than something much easier and less risky
> (courting ladyfolk).
Don't kiss anyone on the hand ever again, unless you are wearing
the Federation uniform and she is wearing the Klingon uniform
and that Klingon head-thingy!
> Like many ARK threads, the focus started drifting towards
> the dating aspect.
That's because getting a job as a teacher is an icky idea.
> And I got lots of helpful advice, some
> of which was actually not a cliché, in ways I could make
> dating seem as easy as moving to Japan.
Dating is trivial, but try to keep something going past the 90-
day "NO RISK" warrantee period. I mean just your OWN interest
after the second time you've argued about something that wasn't
worth arguing about once and you thought you'd settled it _her_
way -- BUT NOOOOOOO!!! Now the agument is about how much of a
pushover you are -- until you say "WHO CARES???"
Answer: Well, maybe _you_ should!
After you've been through this a few times, you will have gained
the habit of getting to the part where you get to dissect the
things she does that drive you crazy and the things about her
that are defective while she's still getting the list loaded to
the buffer.
You will realize that you are finally free, but what that means
is that your hair is going to start falling out and your belly
is going to begin its accelerated fat storage program. So, work
out with weights a lot and buy a TransAm!!! Get aquainted with
the TwinL-b line of products.
> But I've also wondered, briefly: am I particularly foolhardy
> over my desire to do the JET program thing?
No, the JET program is terrific and a great thing to have done.
It is not a vacation in "soap land" though...
> Am I not afraid
> enough of this? The evidence says no, since the deadline to
> apply to go in 2002 is pretty close, so I might put it off
> until 2003. I do have a secret fear that in 2003, too many
> people will know about it, or there will be a swarm of
> applicants
There are a lot of anime otaku and other sorts of usonians who
think they are turning Japanese. Many of these people are
extremely bozotic and have that strange "energy of the damned"
that you usually see only at Trader Vic's on Sundays, 1/2 hour
before closing time.
There has always been a swarm of applicants, because JET is a
good thing to have done.
> if the recession over here kicks up, but my
> non-anime-related knowledge of Japanese will probably give
> me an advantage in the application process,
Nope. JET program cares more about teaching qualifications and
personal disposition. Speaking Japanese is not important at all,
since you will be handled by English-speaking supervisors. They
tend to prefer, IIRC, people with posh UKan accents because
that's the kind of English they like because they are in crazy
lorv with the UK, because Japan is the "twin" of the British
Isles (look at a globe). See if you can change your accent, just
slightly.
BTW: This is a _teaching_ job, where you have to _teach_ classes
every day. You have to _care_ about teaching. JET is not a
vacation and Japan is not a toy.
> as they will
> know that when I get over there I won't call everybody
> "-chan". So, assuming I can enter the program, do I really
> have a good enough idea of what I'm getting into?
They will expect you to be very clean, polite and disciplined.
Learn to bow to everyone. Bowing is extremely important. Do not
kiss Japanese people on their hands or touch them at all (bow
instead), but be warned that they might suddenly begin
performing very painful "massages" on you if you look tired.
Don't try to do it to them, they all know karate.
<snip>
> And regarding JET, like I said, I'm prepared to wait until
> 2003, and gather a bit more information until then, and
> maybe in the meantime look at my options in Europe. I've
> got a trip to plan in the spring, after all.
Scout around for hi-tek jawbzorx in Eur'p, you can probably make
good money, in a currency that is relatively stable, and you get
job experience that relates to your industry.
It is not worth "waiting around a year" for JET, save money and
go to Japan as a tourist NOW and have a leisurely time while the
exchange rate is favorable.
FWIW, the Europes drink wine instead of Sanka at the office and
they take splendid, long vacations and smoke if they feel like
it. At the Eurodisko, you will see why is it true that love is
madness and that only in madness is it to be possible to
understand all the stuff that, like, Heidegger meant, you know?
Downside: They like cheese a lot and they eat ponies, even the
brains of ponies and even strange glands taken from the brains
of ponies, glands no one in America has ever thought of looking
for, blended with cheese. Europes are potentially on the side of
evil, as they have been in the past. Be fully vigilant, when you
are around or contemplating a Eurpean regional area.
> So, in conclusion, I'm pretty sure that my attitude isn't so
> incredibly gung-ho towards the JET program that I'd jump
> into a pit of fire or something.
You need to be full-goose bozo about JET. You need to eat the
pit of fire and say it would be better with a bucket of natto,
you are so mad with enthusiasm for JET, but NOT especially for
Japan itself. This is not a contradiction.
> I seem to be enthusiastic,
> yet tempered by caution.
I am an awesome guitar player, yet I don't know anything except
barre chords.
> And therefore, I can count on
> myself not to make foolhardy decisions, even if I decided to
> go in 2002.
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice!"
> But, what about you guys?
>
> Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that
> most other people regard as laughably easy, and yet
> completely confident at something that would make most other
> people hide under their beds and cry for their mothers?
I am afraid of bossy people who have a secret agenda that
involves me, but I don't need to know what that agenda is just
yet. I think they are all criminals, in a sort of Aynrandian
kind of way. This phobia has cost me everything that life might
have had to offer, now I live in a shoe.
--
CRGRE
"I talked to a couple of my friends who have flying services,
and they're just bumfuzzled," said Jimmy Ervin, who owns
another flying service.
Nick Bensema
Whose Titan Elbow <crgre+...@newsguy.com> wrote:
>> if the recession over here kicks up, but my
>> non-anime-related knowledge of Japanese will probably give
>> me an advantage in the application process,
>
>Nope. JET program cares more about teaching qualifications and
>personal disposition. Speaking Japanese is not important at all,
>since you will be handled by English-speaking supervisors. They
>tend to prefer, IIRC, people with posh UKan accents because
>that's the kind of English they like because they are in crazy
>lorv with the UK, because Japan is the "twin" of the British
>Isles (look at a globe). See if you can change your accent, just
>slightly.
Arizona is said to be one of those call center havens because we have such
a generic American Media accent. Not at all like they talk in "Raising
Arizona", one of the Coen Brothers' earliest "fake local dialects" movies.
I can probably add a dash of BBC to it. And my willingness to study
other languages independently will probably be useful to me in teaching.
>BTW: This is a _teaching_ job, where you have to _teach_ classes
>every day. You have to _care_ about teaching. JET is not a
>vacation and Japan is not a toy.
I've accounted for that. Computer jobs sux0r, and teaching jobs
probably sux0r less. I think teaching might be a better profession
for me, and JET might be my gateway to doing something even cooler
like teaching Esperanto in the Czech Republic.
Poot Rootbeer
> this one guy who used to hang out with me until
> he turned into an evil stalxor (another story)
> did the teach-english-in-japan-thing. he had an
> english degree, although since I was asked to
> proofread one of his term papers, I can guarantee
> he has worse english skills than you. but anyways,
> he went to japan and did remarkably well ... of
> course, because of his personality problems, he
> picked a fight with his boss and was fired.
>
> however, he then got *another* teaching job and
> was allowed to stay in the country. he was fired
> there, too, so he got *another* job. this zero
> talent guy was able to work for EVERY COMPANY in
> the area of Japan where he was living until he
> had been fired from all of them, which took about
> three years.
>
> guy was finally forced out of Japan for stalxoring
> some girl. the end.
N N OOO A H H ???
N N O O A A H H ? ?
NN N O O A A H H ?
N N N O O AAAAA HHHHH ?
N NN O O A A H H
N N OOO A A H H ?
-Poot
is this a pencil?
Poot Rootbeer
>
> Scottsdale just has an Old Town with bizarre cowboy art galleries.
How old is the Old Town in Scottsdale, anyway? About 50 years?
Also, in Old Scottsdale you can be ticketed for having a good time.
-Poot
I actually mean a good time, not a "good time".
David DeLaney
>every day. You have to _care_ about teaching. JET is not a
>vacation and Japan is not a toy.
Please to keep Japan in polybag when not in use.
Moisten needle before inserting Taiwan.
Dave "Nick may not match Nick pictured on box" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David DeLaney
>I've accounted for that. Computer jobs sux0r, and teaching jobs
>probably sux0r less.
Bzzt, X, bah.
Teaching jobs have a major sux0r factor built in in the form of pay
discrepancies, and another in the form of "prove you're teaching our
kids correctly", and yet a third in the form of "as long as you're not
actually doing any -work- other than keeping an eye on the class, here,
do all of this AND this and also THIS. Teaching assistant? We never said
anything about that..."
Computer jobs at least sux0r at a high rate of pay, _and_ the children you
deal with all day have to -pretend- they're grown up when others are
watching.
Dave
E Teflon Piano
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> wrote:
}>So I bet going on a date on the bus is like rilly rilly um, INCONVENIENT.
}
}And the last thing I need is excuses.
}
Get rich and use taxis. Also, the wealth will probably change your
attitude. So, just become completely self-obsessed with financial
success, move to the city and quit yer whining.
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-2001
Matt McIrvin
ni...@io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote:
Teaching jobs cover the whole gamut from terrible drudgery to great fun
even within the extremely limited and protected sphere of teaching
assistant positions in Harvard undergraduate physics courses. It all
depends on the number of students you have, how motivated and prepared
they are, and WHAT KIND of motivation they have. (Motivated to work =
good; motivated to get high grades through special pleading = bad.)
And also on how much help you get from your superiors, which in my case
meant the actual professors. One bad situation is the one in which on
Tuesday the professor just rambled on about something unrelated to the
actual course curriculum and everyone fell asleep, and you have to pick
up the pieces somehow. Another is the one in which the prof doesn't
get the homework sets written until thirty minutes before they have to
be handed out, and you discover while the thing is being photocopied a
hundred times over that the problems are all ill-formed and have no
correct answers, and your office will be full of crying sophomores all
week.
--
Matt McIrvin
Matt McIrvin
Jim Vandewalker <jim.van...@verizon.net> wrote:
> To reply ONLY SLIGHTLY tangentially to this post, I start by saying that
> ordinarily I would beleive that the notion of MOVING somewhere to
> overcome percieved personal difficulties such as shyness about dating is
> NOT actually a solution to the REAL problem which the movee is likely to
> just drag along with him/her, BUT in Nick's case vis-a-vis Phoenix this
> may not be strictly accurate.
I had this notion for a long time in late adolescence: when I went to a
new place, the slate was clean and I had no doofus reputation to
overcome, so I could reinvent myself as a cool person! It never
worked! I just came across as a creepily desperate guy trying way too
hard to be ingratiating.
Over the course of years I would gradually settle into some social
circle and become comfortable with it, and around the time things
became good enough that I could maybe feel confident to approach women,
it would be time to move on and the great delusion would kick in again.
The only cure was to be so emotionally beaten down by graduate school
that I completely stopped caring about reinventing myself and could
find Nerd Love.
--
Matt McIrvin
Matt McIrvin
Glenn Knickerbocker <No...@bestweb.net> wrote:
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2001 09:01:11 GMT, Nick Bensema wrote:
> >Is there anyone out there who is afraid of something that most other
> >people regard as laughably easy, and yet completely confident at
> >something that would make most other people hide under their beds
> >and cry for their mothers?
>
> I cannot make a simple telephone call, but I'd never, ever quail at
> getting up on stage and sightsinging Webern or Corelli or Dunstable.
> Well, hardly ever.
As I've stated elsewhere, I have some trouble with judgmental
one-on-one situations like job interviews; I can do them but I get
quite nervous, at least until they get started. I am much less anxious
about these things than I used to be, but it's still scary for me to
get into any situation in which I have to bother somebody or make an
unusual or unreasonable request. Cold-call telemarketing, door-to-
door sales, and grassroots political activism would be nightmare jobs
for me; I *could not* do them for any length of time. The last fact
makes me feel guilty sometimes, since people with causes I agree with
often insist that any moral being must be out on the front lines with
them pestering the public.
On the other hand, I have very little fear of public speaking. Sure, I
get a tiny bit nervous right before stepping up to the podium, but it's
a lot easier than interview or cold-call situations because I am the
guy in control. If there are questions from the audience, that tends
to happen after I've gotten rolling. I gave an ill-conceived talk once
several years ago at which I got completely ripped apart by a tag team
of famous particle physicists, and I survived that with my dignity
mostly intact, so I figure I can take anything. At that one, the
audience was small; the bigger the audience, the safer I feel.
I have essentially no fear of bugs. Of course, I don't go out of my
way to get bitten or stung.
Even post-Sept. 11, I can fly on airplanes in the hijacker cell's
stomping grounds without a great deal of anxiety.
--
Matt McIrvin
Whose Titan Elbow
> Arizona is said to be one of those call center havens
> because we have such a generic American Media accent.
I thought it was due to all the free convict labor...
Say, are your vowels purely monophthongal??
> Not
> at all like they talk in "Raising Arizona", one of the Coen
> Brothers' earliest "fake local dialects" movies.
I thought you all talked Spanglish, ese.
> I can
> probably add a dash of BBC to it. And my willingness to
> study other languages independently will probably be useful
> to me in teaching.
>
>>BTW: This is a _teaching_ job, where you have to _teach_
>>classes every day. You have to _care_ about teaching. JET is
>>not a vacation and Japan is not a toy.
>
> I've accounted for that. Computer jobs sux0r, and teaching
> jobs probably sux0r less.
Especially if you like stress and don't like money!
> I think teaching might be a
> better profession for me, and JET might be my gateway to
> doing something even cooler like teaching Esperanto in the
> Czech Republic.
That's not very Prague-matic!
Joe Manfre
> [Nick Bensema, schreef in berichtnieuws...]
>
>> Arizona is said to be one of those call center havens
>> because we have such a generic American Media accent.
>
> I thought it was due to all the free convict labor...
>
> Say, are your vowels purely monophthongal??
Are anybody's? Although I am impressed by Nick's ability to have no
diphthongs in his name at all, at least as red pronounces it -- in
ASCII IPA that's /,nIk 'bEn s@ m@/
So much better than Kibo, which has two vowels that are both
diphthongs, at least in the Official Pronunciation.
I come from the Upper Chesapeake accent region where some triphthongs
are not unknown.
Matt McIrvin
man...@flash.net (Joe Manfre) wrote:
> I come from the Upper Chesapeake accent region where some triphthongs
> are not unknown.
Y'all come back naiyaow, y'hear?
--
Matt McIrvin
Shiro Akaishi
Wah'd ye pahk the cah so fah from thuh bah?
--
/\ _____________ \ _()< -Quack! I
(__\ |Shiro Akaishi| \_/ am Png, the
) \. ------------- LL SigDuck!
/.
Joe Manfre
> man...@flash.net (Joe Manfre) wrote:
>
>> I come from the Upper Chesapeake accent region where some
>> triphthongs are not unknown.
>
> Y'all come back naiyaow, y'hear?
http://www.wilk4.com/humor/humorm221.htm
b r e t t
David DeLaney <d...@gatekeeper.vic.com> wrote:
>Teaching jobs have a major sux0r factor built in
{etc.}
Lots of different experiences here. I thought teaching was a
blast. Lots of work, and not the best pay, but lots of satisfaction
and enjoyment. Now I have a computery job that I hate, despite
its paying twice as much.
Have you ever *done* any teaching, Nick? I think that's the make-
or-break point. I think I enjoyed teaching because I was very good
at it. I dislike my current job because I am, sadly, not very good
at it. If you've got the knack, teaching will be good anywhere:
Japan or a community college right there in Phoenix. If you don't,
you'll probably live out a lot of the unpleasant experiences
being recounted here.
My advice on teaching (since I have none ot offer on women): try
it out in a setting you can walk away from before you cross an
ocean. There is probably a literacy program or somesuch in your
area. See how it feels to be in front of a classroom. If, after
a month or so, you go, "hey, I dig this," then by all means go
have an excellent Japanese adventure. But if you hate the job,
your life won't be working right, and I can't think of many more
bewildering and uncomfortable places to be adrift than Japan.
And in answer to an earlier query, I am extremely anxious about
driving and meeting strangers while having no fear of heights.
b
Poot Rootbeer
> Are anybody's? Although I am impressed by Nick's ability to have
> no diphthongs in his name at all, at least as red pronounces it --
> in ASCII IPA that's /,nIk 'bEn s@ m@/
Mmm... IPA...
-Poot
(I want beer)
James Kibo Parry
>
> I had this notion for a long time in late adolescence: when I went to a
> new place, the slate was clean and I had no doofus reputation to
> overcome, so I could reinvent myself as a cool person! It never worked!
Now, where did I put the big book where I write down what's going to be
carved on my friends' tombstones?
-- K.
All I can find is the other
book where I record who will
live and who will die!
(Of course it's
a dark article,
I'm watching
"Invasion Of
The Neptune Men".)
Nick Bensema
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> All I can find is the other
> book where I record who will
> live and who will die!
In it are two pages, and each of them says "EVERYONE."
Xaonon
Parry <ki...@world.std.com> teithant i thiw hin:
> Matt McIrvin (mmci...@world.std.com) wrote:
>
> > I had this notion for a long time in late adolescence: when I went to a
> > new place, the slate was clean and I had no doofus reputation to
> > overcome, so I could reinvent myself as a cool person! It never
> > worked!
>
> Now, where did I put the big book where I write down what's going to be
> carved on my friends' tombstones?
>
> -- K.
>
> All I can find is the other
> book where I record who will
> live and who will die!
The first five pages of which are which say "BOB HOPE" repeatedly in big
gold-leaf gilded letters. With sprinkles. And "WILLIAM SHATNER" written
inside the holes in the B's.
Hey, maybe we should kill Shatner by genetically engineering giant bees to
eat him. Then the book is doubly meaningful!
> (Of course it's
> a dark article,
> I'm watching
> "Invasion Of
> The Neptune Men".)
DEATH TO SPACE CHIEF!
--
Xaonon, EAC Chief of Mad Scientists and informal BAAWA, aa #1821, Kibo #: 1
Visit The Nexus Of All Coolness (a.k.a. my site) at http://xaonon.cjb.net/
"No more gods, no more faith, no more timid holding back. The future belongs
to posthumanity." -- Max More
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > All I can find is the other book where I record who will
> > live and who will die!
>
> In it are two pages, and each of them says "EVERYONE."
I also list all barbers who don't shave themselves...
Shave themselves... to death.
-- K.
I wish Sir Bertrand Russell
were here so he could help
me with my killing spree.
David DeLaney
>James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>> All I can find is the other
>> book where I record who will
>> live and who will die!
>
>In it are two pages, and each of them says "EVERYONE."
PH33R THE POW3R 0F ALL CAP5!!!1!
Dave "the next Discworld book is out & it's illustrated" DeLaney
Andrew Reid
<VxYH7.152911$tb2.12...@bin2.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com>:
>In article <kibo-12110...@ppp0b150.std.com>,
>James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>> All I can find is the other
>> book where I record who will
>> live and who will die!
>
>In it are two pages, and each of them says "EVERYONE."
>
OK, I ham-handed the keyboard again, 1 theory is that
there are two posts.
Anyways, this was cool and hive-mindey, because my stereo
was playing Leonard Cohen's "Here it is" just then, featuring
the lyric "...may everyone live, may everyone die..."
somewhere in the chorus.
It's not so cool anymore, what with the ham-handing and all,
but it's still quite hive-mindey.
-- A.
Kevin S. Wilson
Nick, I heard a rumor on Usenet that you're kinda shy and that
sometimes you feel awkward in new situations and around people you
don't know very well. Are you sure that teaching is the right job for
you?
I've taught off and on at the university level since 1986, and over
the years I've concluded that teaching--done well--is very much like
performing on stage. Try as you might, there's no way to structure a
class so that you are not the center of attention for a good portion
of the proceedings. In addition, you have to be nice to people you
despise, you have to entertain the same brain-numbing questions
semester after semester, and you have to strive to both enlighten and
entertain. It's a tough gig, when done correctly.
--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
Joseph Michael Bay
>I also list all barbers who don't shave themselves...
>Shave themselves... to death.
> -- K.
> I wish Sir Bertrand Russell
> were here so he could help
> me with my killing spree.
There'll be plenty of Sir Bertrand Russell at the barber
shop *you're* going to -- the barber shop IN JAIL. Where
we're GOING. In the CAR. Constable, arrest this man.
--
Chimes peal joy. Bah. Joseph Michael Bay
Icy colon barge Cancer Biology
Frosty divine Saturn Stanford University
When encryption is outlawed, fO$t ^@3sVe) %4iG Vx@| /jNGe5x6@^.
Eb Oesch
> Ned i bach <news:kibo-12110...@ppp0b150.std.com>, James "Kibo"
> Parry <ki...@world.std.com> teithant i thiw hin:
> > book where I record who will
> > live and who will die!
>
> The first five pages of which are which say "BOB HOPE" repeatedly in big
> gold-leaf gilded letters. With sprinkles. And "WILLIAM SHATNER" written
> inside the holes in the B's.
>
> Hey, maybe we should kill Shatner by genetically engineering giant bees to
> eat him. Then the book is doubly meaningful!
Congratulations! I nominate you and Talysman for the Best Kibo
Impression contest. Kibo willing, the winner gets a jar of honey and
the loser gets pureed, freeze-dried, milled, and dusted onto 10
million flowers.
Fortunately, though, because mailing out a jar of honey is more work
than I intend to do in my lifetime, never mind the 10 million flowers,
Kibo has proven himself to be very unwilling regarding Best Kibo
contests. If he isn't, I'll just have to admit I lied.
Or not. Lying means knowingly saying that which is false. But a
promise that can be fulfilled vacuously is not necessarily false, so I
cannot know it to be false. I could say to anyone, "If you ever need
my help, I will do everything I can," with no intention of ever
following up on that promise, and I would still not be a liar. I did
not even realize that until I started writing this! This religion has
made me more honest -- retroactively, even. Which means this is a
genuine religion after all. Kibo akbar.
James Kibo Parry
> > me with my killing spree.
>
> There'll be plenty of Sir Bertrand Russell at the barber
> shop *you're* going to -- the barber shop IN JAIL.
Excuse me, but you've confused Bertrand Russell with Oscar Wilde again.
Please watch "Sesame Street" until you learn that Bert is not Oscar.
Russell is the one who proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that
one plus one equals two, whereas Wilde said lots of stuff that made
people snicker politely at his erudite drollness. You see, they
were equal and opposite kinds of nerds.
I am the third kind. The kind that can beat the other two at pinball.
With both hands tied behind my back, using my toes to work the flippers.
You people probably think I'm kidding.
Dig up Oscar Wilde and I'll prove it!
-- K.
My "Sesame Street" dream cast:
Ernie Kovacs
Bertrand Russell
Oscar Wilde
Grover Cleveland
Kermit Schafer
Big Bird Potsie
Joe Manfre
> Excuse me, but you've confused Bertrand Russell with Oscar Wilde
> again. Please watch "Sesame Street" until you learn that Bert is
> not Oscar.
Speaking of Bert: The other day I was thinking of a way I could make
some money. Downtown there are people who make money off the tourists
by using only Polaroid cameras and cardboard cutouts of the president
and other D.C. celebrities. They charge the tourists a few bucks to
be photographed standing next to a cardboard cutout, maybe with a D.C.
landmark in the background. I was wondering how hard it would be to
get a cardboard cutout of Osama bin Laden and a toy machine gun and
charge people money to be photographed pointing the gun at Osama bin
Laden's head.
But now that you mention Oscar, I am remembering one of the times I
went to Sesame Place as a kid and was joyous at the opportunity to be
photographed in a trash can next to an amazing simulation of a Sesame
Street house's front stoop. I wonder if I could make even more money
by charging people to pose in a trash can with a cardboard cutout of
Osama bin Laden also in the trash can. I probably wouldn't even have
to spend extra money because there are already lots of trash cans
downtown, and even though they are mostly full of weird-smelling
trash, probably that would be okay because tourists don't seem to have
any objection to looking stupid while they're in downtown D.C., at
least as far as I have been able to notice while riding the subway.
(Yesterday, there was this guy who apparently thought it would be okay
to lean on my head while riding the subway.)
Would it be war profiteering if I do this? (I mean, if I set up an
Osama bin Laden Insta-Photography Hut, not if I go around leaning on
people's heads on the subway.) Would I have to send you royalties for
giving me the idea of including trash cans in this? What if I use a
Sony night-vision video camera instead of a Polaroid camera so I can
point it at the cardboard cutout and see Osama bin Laden's underwear?
Do you think Osama bin Laden wears underwear? What about Bert?
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
> My "Sesame Street" dream cast:
Sesame Street never made the Dreamcast, you liar!
Sesame Street Dreamcast commercials would include
Elmo whispering in a loud screechy voice "IT'S
THINKING ABOUT THE LETTER `B'!"
> Ernie Kovacs
> Bertrand Russell
> Oscar Wilde
> Grover Cleveland
> Kermit Schafer
> Big Bird Potsie
you forgot George Snuffleupagus, ABC analyst and
former Clinton staffer.
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
> Congratulations! I nominate you and Talysman for the Best Kibo
> Impression contest. Kibo willing, the winner gets a jar of honey and
> the loser gets pureed, freeze-dried, milled, and dusted onto 10
> million flowers.
oh no! the ultimate unidentified white powder!
I mean the honey!
I'm not sure I'm trying to do a kibo impression.
however, if I *were* kibo, I would use my powers
only for good, never evil.
wait, does that include scary font powers?
scratch what I just said.
I think everyone automatically becomes kibo as
long as they meet the criteria:
(1) INTP
(2) watched tv from 1968 to 1979 without taking
a break (the '80s are optional)
I mean, I watched a tv show about charles nelson
reilly wearing a crocodile suit. how could I *not*
become kibo?
there are significant differences, however. there
was no special gym class at my school, so I did
not get "special gym". although I'm sure that, if
the teachers had thought of it, they would have
made a special gym class just for me.
and also,
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&selm=eAVm2UMJhtfZ092yn%40softhome.net
a reprint of the relevant part of the post:
-> quick comparison between me and Kibo:
->
-> KIBO UR-BEATLE
->
-> thinks gurlz are yucky thinks gurlz are HOT, especially
-> if they wear glasses
->
-> married to Barbara Bain will possibly marry either Yeardley
-> Smith, Janeane Garafalo, or Drew
-> Barrymore, once he's eliminated
-> the competition. may also mudwrestle
-> Kibo for that cartoon chyk, Daria.
->
-> wants all the candy in will settle for salt and vinegar
-> the world potatochips
->
-> ran for president political prisoner
->
-> hates cheese loves cheese, especially sharp cheddar
-> with telepathic powers
->
-> hates cats likes cats better than dogs, but
-> both pet-types worship him
->
-> had gerbils that ate had goldfish that wagged their tails
-> their wheels when he came through the door
->
-> cooks with asfoetida cooks with garlic
->
-> makes weird asian foods makes crepes
->
-> had a bad haircut has the Ur-Hair, which grants him
-> Scary Powers(tm)
->
-> anyone else know the difference between me and Kibo, or know
-> someone who does?
some of the data may have settled during shipping.
for example, I haven't cooked anything in years.
I just stuff my face with cheeseburgers, which then
make me sick. and also, I'm much more bitter now.
I also forgot to mention that I seem to curse a lot
more than kibo. kibo is a boyscout, while I am the
antiboyscout, which is why I harrass bruce willis.
David DeLaney
>
>With both hands tied behind my back, using my toes to work the flippers.
There's a reason for that, and your father and I have been meaning to talk
to you about it...
>You people probably think I'm kidding.
>
>Dig up Oscar Wilde and I'll prove it!
"While in life / hard labor mastered he / Now in death /..."
No, the last line's not coming. Guess I'll have to close my eyes and
think of Turkish Delight and old-tome Republican presidential candidates
again...
> Ernie Kovacs
> Bertrand Russell
> Oscar Wilde
> Grover Cleveland
> Kermit Schafer
> Big Bird Potsie
Dave "and starring Alice as the ___BLANK___" DeLaney
Joseph Michael Bay
taly...@globalsurrealism.com (Talysman the Ur-Beatle) writes:
>ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in message news:<kibo-14110...@ppp0b007.std.com>...
>> My "Sesame Street" dream cast:
>Sesame Street never made the Dreamcast, you liar!
>Sesame Street Dreamcast commercials would include
>Elmo whispering in a loud screechy voice "IT'S
>THINKING ABOUT THE LETTER `B'!"
>
>> Ernie Kovacs
>> Bertrand Russell
>> Oscar Wilde
>> Grover Cleveland
>> Kermit Schafer
>> Big Bird Potsie
>you forgot George Snuffleupagus, ABC analyst and
>former Clinton staffer.
Grocery store owner and famous hijacker D.B. Cooper <-- HOOPAH, HOOPAH! BrAINS!
Luke Breinig
says...
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
>
> > Excuse me, but you've confused Bertrand Russell with Oscar Wilde
> > again. Please watch "Sesame Street" until you learn that Bert is
> > not Oscar.
>
> Speaking of Bert: The other day I was thinking of a way I could make
> some money. Downtown there are people who make money off the tourists
> by using only Polaroid cameras and cardboard cutouts of the president
> and other D.C. celebrities. They charge the tourists a few bucks to
> be photographed standing next to a cardboard cutout, maybe with a D.C.
> landmark in the background. I was wondering how hard it would be to
> get a cardboard cutout of Osama bin Laden and a toy machine gun and
> charge people money to be photographed pointing the gun at Osama bin
> Laden's head.
Or, you could hang around the Mall and panhandle. That seems to be a
popular money-making scheme around D.C., I noticed.
--
Luke Breinig - www.lukebreinig.com - Not Bitter
Amiga 500/1000/3000 - K6-2/450 - PII/300 - Mac IIsi - Apple IIgs - C=64
"a fuzzy love (sex) triangle can be a mess" - Kurt Stocklmeir
Rose Marie Holt
Ur-Beatle <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> claimed
>
> some of the data may have settled during shipping.
> for example, I haven't cooked anything in years.
> I just stuff my face with cheeseburgers, which then
> make me sick. and also, I'm much more bitter now.
Chris Farley did this better than you.
I had a kibological moment when I saw White Castle cheezeburgers in the
Costco Freezer.
Hey, kibo, can you get them to carry its its?? Thanks inadvance.
Poot Rootbeer
> Speaking of Bert: The other day I was thinking of a way I could
> make some money. Downtown there are people who make money off the
> tourists by using only Polaroid cameras and cardboard cutouts of
> the president and other D.C. celebrities. They charge the tourists
> a few bucks to be photographed standing next to a cardboard cutout,
> maybe with a D.C. landmark in the background.
Yes, but what do the people themselves look like? Are any of them as
interesting as the Statue Guy in Times Square? He's painted completely
silver and stands still until some tourists take a picture of him, and
then he comes to life and takes a Polaroid of whomever just took his
picture, and hits them up for cash.
> But now that you mention Oscar, I am remembering one of the times I
> went to Sesame Place as a kid and was joyous at the opportunity to
> be photographed in a trash can next to an amazing simulation of a
> Sesame Street house's front stoop.
Well, not so much "in a trash can" as much as "behind a trashcan-like
facade". You could also share a bathtub full of solid concrete bath
foam with Ernie, if that's more your style.
-Poot
James Kibo Parry
>
> I had a kibological moment when I saw White Castle cheezeburgers in the
> Costco Freezer.
>
> Hey, kibo, can you get them to carry its its?? Thanks inadvance.
I think the full name of those deformed little crackers is
"Actory Eject Itz Its", available Ith Heez or Ith Eanut Utter.
Unless you are talking about something completely different. Honestly,
I have no idea what you mean unless you only like eating the right-hand
seventy-five percent of each Ritz Bit.
This is the part which, according to Wilson Bryan Key, says "EX".
Personally, I think he's tupid.
It's interesting that recently the American snack cartels have learned
that they can sell more of Product X if they also have Mini Product X Bitlets
and Giant Mega Product X Double Stuf even though they're all the same
product seen at different magnifications. So I expect that soon we'll
see Big Cheerios (in bagel wrappers) and little pizzas that come out
of Pez dispensers.
Mini-Wheats, Ritz Bits, Giant SweetTarts, Junior Mints. Heck, it's
even spread to Japan, which is sending us Giant Pocky, which is like
regular Pocky except if you trip, you poke your eye out nine inches more.
I envision a future in which all foods are available in a harmonic
series of sizes that extends to infinity in both directions, so
you'll be able to get "New 1/n Twinkies!" and "Newer 1/n^2 Twinkies!"
and "Ultra-New 1/n^12 Twinkies!" down to the limit of precision
(Twinkies smaller than one electron would be hard to sell.
Profitable, though.)
.
.
.
1/n^4 Fun Damentalparticle Size
1/n^3 Fun Size
1/n^2 Junior Size
1/n Mini
1 Regular
n Hungry-Man
n^2 Giant Size
n^3 Ultimate
n^4 Nuclear Evil Tooper BOOM! Size
.
.
.
The big question is, what is the optimal value for n? If n were
20, I think an Ultimate Twinkie wouldn't fit through the supermarket
door unless you really squeezed it, and the resulting squirt of
white filling could suffocate the bagboy. However, if n were 1.05,
telling an Ultimate Twinkie from a Regular Twinkie would be harder
than telling a "jumbo" olive from a "colossal" olive without
a pair of professional-quality olive calipers, and Twinkie calipers
would be an even sillier idea because nobody wants to measure Twinkies.
And let's just forget the idea of making n less than or equal to zero.
I suspect that best would be n in the range of 2 to 3. Hmm.
Perhaps the most natural Twinkies would be attained if n were equal to e?
Hershey Bar, Now With Natural Logarithms!
.02 oz. Fun Damentalparticle Size Hershey Bar
.05 oz. Fun Size Hershey Bar
.14 oz. Junior Size Hershey Bar
.37 oz. Mini Hershey Bar
1.0 oz. Regular Hershey Bar
2.7 oz. Hungry-Man Hershey Bar
7.4 oz. Giant Size Hershey Bar
20 oz. Ultimate Hershey Bar
55 oz. Nuclear Evil Tooper BOOM! Size Hershey Bar
Also try new Twinkies with golden ratio!
In other mathematical candy news, Google.com has purchased the company that
makes the 100 Grand bar and has changed its name to the Femto-Google bar.
-- K.
And new Digital Alpha-Bits is
just a bowl of ones and zeros.
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
>
> Sesame Street never made the Dreamcast, you liar!
> Sesame Street Dreamcast commercials would include
> Elmo whispering in a loud screechy voice "IT'S
> THINKING ABOUT THE LETTER `B'!"
All I can say is that you're going to be very disappointed when you
shell out $500 for a Microsoft XBox and it doesn't include any of
the four necessary shopping carts, "Thunderbirds" marionettes, or
a pinball machine containing a naked David Cross under glass.
Speaking of Joel Hodgson, what's he up to lately? And what about his
friendly robots made out of common household objects?
Oh, IMDB.com tells me Joel is a writer for a TV game show based
on a video game. And it's not even a video pinball game with or
without David Cross. He's apparently employed on "You Don't Know Jack",
a show based on a text-based trivia game where most of the text was
speled fonetikilly but not intensionaly. The parody of it in "Star Warped"
was better-made than the real thing. ("Star Warped" featured the voice
talent of Robbie Rist, who is irrelevant to mention here.)
Mike Nelson, sadly, has been reduced to writing of an even less
prominent game show: Comedy Central's "Let's Bowl". You know, if
the idea of people Bowling For Dollars was actually funny, I don't
think they'd need to hire a comedy writer to WRITE THE BOWLING!
I know that Frank Coniff's been writing "Invader Zim" episodes.
I love "Invader Zim". A year or two ago he also turned up playing
a Darth Vader sort of character on "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids: The Series"
opposite Marc Singer as a version of Luke Skywalker who kept talking
about how good "V: The Series" was. That show stopped sucking for
precisely the length of that joke. But "Invader Zim" is always
great, even the episodes not written by Frank. Wait, I guess that
means it would still be good even if he didn't write for it. Oh well,
I'll still give him a RAM chip for being associated with a good show.
And Trace Beaulieu was last seen as one of the teachers on
"Freaks And Geeks", which was a great show while it lasted, even
if they never did an episode based on my "computery stuff" anecdote
that I sent them. I hear he's also been on "The West Wing" but
I don't think even he could make that show funny.
Josh Weinstein (aka "original Crow") was one of the producers of
"Freaks and Geeks", so he gets to share Trace's RAM chip. But then
I am taking it away and throwing it on the ground and stomping on
it because he was a producer of "America's Funniest Home Videos",
a show where the writing tasks consisted of choosing which cartoon
"boing" noise to use for each video of a toddler falling down,
hurting himself, and crying while Daddy continues to operate the
video camera. I think it's actually still on in some ultra-cheap
version where the studio audience is just a shelf of iMacs.
And everyone else has returned to the obscurity from whence they
came. An obscurity named... Minnesota.
So Frank and Trace are the only two who have made valuable contributions to
society after "Mystery Science Theater 3000" folded, which stands to reason,
given that they were the funniest mad scientists outside of sci.physics.
-- K.
They should bring back
"Mystery Science Theater 3000"
just long enough to make fun
of the new "Time Tunnel" show,
assuming it ever gets on the air.
By the way, it looks like the
new "Battlestar Galactica" show
has been cancelled even before
the first episode, so I guess
we can't blame it on Robbie Rist,
the boy who killed "The Brady Bunch",
"Galactica 1980", and probably
dozens of other shows starring
Robbie Rist.
James Kibo Parry
>
> Joe Manfre (man...@flash.net) wrote:
> >
> > But now that you mention Oscar, I am remembering one of the times I
> > went to Sesame Place as a kid and was joyous at the opportunity to
> > be photographed in a trash can next to an amazing simulation of a
> > Sesame Street house's front stoop.
>
> Well, not so much "in a trash can" as much as "behind a trashcan-like
> facade". You could also share a bathtub full of solid concrete bath
> foam with Ernie, if that's more your style.
PLEASE POST PICTURES OF ERNIE IN A "DEMOLITION MAN" OLDSMOBILE BRAND
CAR OF THE FUTURE FILLED WITH SECUREFOAM BRAND HARDENED CONCRETE BATH FOAM
OR STOLEN PASSWORDS THAT WILL ALLOW ME TO SEE SAME WITHOUT PAYING THE
EXORBITANT ENTRANCE FEES OF ALL THE MAJOR "ERNIE IN HARDENED BATH FOAM" SITES.
Of course, if this were an actual alt.sex.passwords request, it would
have to begin with the phrase "URGENTLY NEEDED!" Those people have an
even greater sense of urgency than the kids who need their homework done
yesterday on sci.math.
-- K.
URGENTLY NEEDED! PLEASE MAKE ERNIE
DO MY MATH HOMEWORK NAKED!
Shiro Akaishi
>All I can say is that you're going to be very disappointed when you
>shell out $500 for a Microsoft XBox and it doesn't include any of
>the four necessary shopping carts, "Thunderbirds" marionettes, or
>a pinball machine containing a naked David Cross under glass.
Especially when you can buy an actual computer, that's half the size, plays
more games better, and connects to more A/V equipment for ~$300. And it'll
play your DVDs without a $90,000 upgrade kit.
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
ok, what in the weird world is it's-its?
because when we were on our way to/from
the airport the other day, we passed this
huge building that said IT'S-IT on the
side, and I had this weird vision of a
cream-filled, chocolate-covered zippy the
pinhead.
but I'm fairly confident no one would sell
something like that.
Joe Manfre
> ok, what in the weird world is it's-its? because when we were on
> our way to/from the airport the other day, we passed this huge
> building that said IT'S-IT on the side, and I had this weird vision
> of a cream-filled, chocolate-covered zippy the pinhead.
Well, the store brand of cola sold at Sheetz gas station/convenience
stores is called "It". You can buy that and say "I want some of It!"
"Do you like It?" "No, I think It sucks!" and other unfunny sayings
based on the fact that It is a pronoun.
Also, Sheetz is a funny name. Sheetz Sheetz Sheetz.
David DeLaney
>series of sizes that extends to infinity in both directions, so
>you'll be able to get "New 1/n Twinkies!" and "Newer 1/n^2 Twinkies!"
>and "Ultra-New 1/n^12 Twinkies!" down to the limit of precision
>(Twinkies smaller than one electron would be hard to sell.
>Profitable, though.)
You are an avatar of Michael Moorcock. I claim your bitchin' sword and\
a ship to steer it by.
>20, I think an Ultimate Twinkie wouldn't fit through the supermarket
>door unless you really squeezed it, and the resulting squirt of
>white filling could suffocate the bagboy.
STOP SEARCHENG... oh wait, never mind.
>I suspect that best would be n in the range of 2 to 3. Hmm.
>Perhaps the most natural Twinkies would be attained if n were equal to e?
And then the candy companies could -naturally- devalue the size, since as
the universe expands its constants get smaller, right?
Dave "new Dirac-Os, now with extra Hoyle" DeLaney
gorski
}Joseph Michael Bay (jm...@Stanford.EDU) wrote:
}>
}> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
}> >
}> > I wish Sir Bertrand Russell were here so he could help
}> > me with my killing spree.
}>
}> There'll be plenty of Sir Bertrand Russell at the barber
}> shop *you're* going to -- the barber shop IN JAIL.
}
}Excuse me, but you've confused Bertrand Russell with Oscar Wilde again.
}Please watch "Sesame Street" until you learn that Bert is not Oscar.
Yeah.
Bert is apparently EEEEVIL, whereas Oscar is just a sysadmin^]BdWigrouch.
Well, okay, I suppose Bert could be an old-school IBMmer, but that's close.
--me,
who runs the lab where OSKAR the Grouch lives in a trash-box...
Paddy Smith
"Talysman the Ur-Beatle" <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> wrote in message
news:49699b6a.01111...@posting.google.com...
>
> ok, what in the weird world is it's-its?
> because when we were on our way to/from
> the airport the other day, we passed this
> huge building that said IT'S-IT on the
> side, and I had this weird vision of a
> cream-filled, chocolate-covered zippy the
> pinhead.
>
> but I'm fairly confident no one would sell
> something like that.
Wine-addled Italian clerical emissaries do this better than you:
'...From another part of Italy, a dubious story tells of a wine-bibbing
prelate sending his emissary to scout out his route to Rome with an order to
find the best inn for wine in each village and mark it Est, "This is it".
The pathfinder purportedly got so excited at one place he marked the door
"Est! EST!! EST!!!" '
http://www.wineloverspage.com/reports/name.shtml
...and thus you really can drink a wine called, effectively, It's It's
It's - which is 50% more pinheaded than whatever you saw. John D Salt
probably has a bottle or three laid down (snrk!) in the ancestral cellars,
unless he's drunk away his inheritance in a dissipative foppish-dandy
lifestyle of Schubertiade salons by now.
Anyone for a glass of Milk of the Blessed Virgin?
Paddy
Rose Marie Holt
Ur-Beatle <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> claimed
> Rose Marie Holt <rmh...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:<B8184C27.6F6A%rmh...@mindspring.com>...
>> In article <49699b6a.01111...@posting.google.com>, Talysman the
>> Ur-Beatle <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> claimed
>>
>>>
>>> some of the data may have settled during shipping.
>>> for example, I haven't cooked anything in years.
>>> I just stuff my face with cheeseburgers, which then
>>> make me sick. and also, I'm much more bitter now.
>>
>> Chris Farley did this better than you.
>>
>>
>>
>> I had a kibological moment when I saw White Castle cheezeburgers in the
>> Costco Freezer.
>>
>> Hey, kibo, can you get them to carry its its?? Thanks inadvance.
>
> ok, what in the weird world is it's-its?
> because when we were on our way to/from
> the airport the other day, we passed this
> huge building that said IT'S-IT on the
> side, and I had this weird vision of a
> cream-filled, chocolate-covered zippy the
> pinhead.
>
> but I'm fairly confident no one would sell
> something like that.
It's It: A confection made of 2 oatmeal cookies with a big slab of yummy
vanilla (they have other flavors now) ice cream, the whole thing dipped in
chocolate. A San Francisco item, though I know where to get them in
Seattle. I believe 1st sold at PlayLand At The Beach, where I got lost in
the House of Mirrors on my parents' honeymoon (but digress).
You must have been at the SF airport, because the It's It factory is
definitely easily seen from the airport.
It's extra good because the ingredients are extra good.
They (and chocolate croissants) got me thru grad school.
--
Best
Rose-Marie-Holt
?
>
>Yeah.
>
>Bert is apparently EEEEVIL, whereas Oscar is just a sysadmin^]BdWigrouch.
>
>Well, okay, I suppose Bert could be an old-school IBMmer, but that's close.
SIG!
In other strangeness, there was a downside to seeing stereolab live.
I kept looking for the thyroid patch on the thin blonde singer.
--
Chris Dukes
"earthly insanity/brings us conformity
the tinkling bells call me/it plays a leading role
I never could foresee/the purity you stole" -- arte.fa(t's 'Purification'
Jeff Sutter
> Rose Marie Holt (rmh...@mindspring.com) wrote:
> >
> > I had a kibological moment when I saw White Castle cheezeburgers in the
> > Costco Freezer.
> >
> > Hey, kibo, can you get them to carry its its?? Thanks inadvance.
>
> I think the full name of those deformed little crackers is
> "Actory Eject Itz Its", available Ith Heez or Ith Eanut Utter.
>
> Unless you are talking about something completely different. Honestly,
> I have no idea what you mean unless you only like eating the right-hand
> seventy-five percent of each Ritz Bit.
>
"It's-It" is a chocolate and nut-covered ice-cream sandwich available
in San Francisco. It's very good.
//jeff sutter
G Road
native to Northern California (one factory is on the 101 between the
Millbrae and Broadway exits). This may be what Rose referred to.
Like the idea of the multiple sizes- you could even refer to them by
the retail outlets:
(local) Candy Store
Corner store
Drug Store
Supermarket / Discount (Safeway / Walmart)
Warehouse / Wholesale (Costco / Sam's)
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in message news:<kibo-14110...@ppp0b088.std.com>...
Nick Bensema
David DeLaney <d...@gatekeeper.vic.com> wrote:
>
>You are an avatar of Michael Moorcock. I claim your bitchin' sword and\
>a ship to steer it by.
THE MOORCOCK THE BETTER!!!
I humbly submit to Terri's shotgun.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/
Joseph Michael Bay
> unless you really squeezed it, and the resulting squirt of
>white filling could suffocate the bagboy.
Wow, the evidence is really piling up.
Joseph Michael Bay
taly...@globalsurrealism.com (Talysman the Ur-Beatle) writes:
>ok, what in the weird world is it's-its?
>because when we were on our way to/from
>the airport the other day, we passed this
>huge building that said IT'S-IT on the
>side, and I had this weird vision of a
>cream-filled, chocolate-covered zippy the
>pinhead.
>but I'm fairly confident no one would sell
>something like that.
SFO? 101?
Dude, It's-its are ice cream sandwiches made
with oatmeal cookies and then covered in chocolate.
They're pretty okay but they'd be better with
chocolate chip cookies or something. Oatmeal
cookies are for pretending you're eating something
healthy when you're really eating cookies.
They are almost entirely unique to the San Francisco Bay Area,
unlike Chipwiches, which are better and thus more popular, like
Britney Spears.
Joseph Michael Bay
>In article <slrn9v6sv...@gatekeeper.vic.com>,
>David DeLaney <d...@gatekeeper.vic.com> wrote:
>>
>>You are an avatar of Michael Moorcock. I claim your bitchin' sword and\
>>a ship to steer it by.
>THE MOORCOCK THE BETTER!!!
>I humbly submit to Terri's shotgun.
So back in college my friends and I were watchin Russ Meyers' _Beneath
the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens_, which is like _Beyond the Valley of
the Dolls_ but without Roger Ebert or the pretense of having a statement
or not being porn. So anyway this woman's bouncing on this man's crotch
and yelling "MORE! MORE! COCK! MORE! COCK!" and my friend Dan goes
"Hey, isn't he the guy who wrote those _Elric_ books?"
SORDES DON'T KILL PEOPEL, MENLIBONE'S DO!!!!!11!!
Brian 'Jarai' Chase
Joseph Michael Bay <jm...@Stanford.EDU> wrote:
> They're pretty okay but they'd be better with
> chocolate chip cookies or something. Oatmeal
> cookies are for pretending you're eating something
> healthy when you're really eating cookies.
FUKKEN HIPPIES! It could be worse though. They could be made with
oatmeal carob chip cookies.
> They are almost entirely unique to the San Francisco Bay Area,
> unlike Chipwiches, which are better and thus more popular, like
> Britney Spears.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/p/nm/20011115/en/mdf85594.html
-jarai.
--
--- Brian Chase | b...@world.std.com | http://world.std.com/~bdc/ -----
This program posts news to thousands of machines throughout the entire
civilized world. Your message will cost the net hundreds if not thousands
of dollars to send everywhere. Please be sure you know what you are doing.
Brian 'Jarai' Chase
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> So Frank and Trace are the only two who have made valuable contributions to
> society after "Mystery Science Theater 3000" folded, which stands to reason,
> given that they were the funniest mad scientists outside of sci.physics.
>
> [...]
I apologize in advance for communicating too much in url-speak lately,
but I would just like to say, http://mst3k.dapcentral.org/
In the future, everyone will speak in XML.
David DeLaney
>David DeLaney <d...@gatekeeper.vic.com> wrote:
>>You are an avatar of Michael Moorcock. I claim your bitchin' sword and\
>>a ship to steer it by.
>
>THE MOORCOCK THE BETTER!!!
>
>I humbly submit to Terri's shotgun.
She might have to shove Jeremy out of the way...
Dave "sorry about the \, the keyboard really -did- do it automatically, these
keys are about 1/4th the height they should be" DeLaney
James Kibo Parry
Rose Marie Holt (rmh...@mindspring.com) wrote:
>
> It's It: A confection made of 2 oatmeal cookies with a big slab of yummy
> vanilla (they have other flavors now) ice cream, the whole thing dipped in
> chocolate. A San Francisco item, though I know where to get them in
> Seattle. I believe 1st sold at PlayLand At The Beach, where I got lost in
> the House of Mirrors on my parents' honeymoon (but digress).
Kids, play safe:
Always take a sledgehammer when you go to the House of Mirrors.
> It's extra good because the ingredients are extra good.
If that were true, they wouldn't have to mix them together! They could
just sell the chocolate part by itself. And the ice cream by itself.
And the cookies wouldn't be all cold and damp. And they wouldn't need
to do all that dangerous dipping -- dipping leads to deadly disasters
when dolts dip drunk.
> They (and chocolate croissants) got me thru grad school.
I wish I'd been smart enough to write answers on MY food in college.
-- K.
Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to cheat.
James Kibo Parry
> > white filling could suffocate the bagboy.
>
> Wow, the evidence is really piling up.
Hey, sometimes a minimum-wage worker being murdered by a giant Twinkie
is just a minimum-wage worker being murdered by a giant Twinkie, you
sick Twinkie gunge freak.
-- K.
I DON'T COME DOWN TO WHERE YOU
WORK AND KNOCK THE GIANT TWINKIE
OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!
Alex Suter
>"It's-It" is a chocolate and nut-covered ice-cream sandwich available
>in San Francisco. It's very good.
>
>//jeff sutter
Is that your *real* name?
Really for real?
You know how when you search on the internet for your
name and you get some hockey player named Gary instead
of something about you? Well, you're not helping.
JEFF SUTTER IS NOT HELPING.
So anyway, I get a penalty for high sticking giving
Anaheim a powerplay. They don't do much with it. Whatever.
The ref is a cock. Then, in the THIRD period that bastard
gets me for boarding. BOARDING fer chrissakes. We got the
win, though, and I got an assist. Next time I'm checking
that cock ref right into the wall.
The Real Ghostbuster,
Alex
--
Alex Suter
http://world.std.com/~asuter/
"Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
Paddy Smith
"Joseph Michael Bay" <jm...@Stanford.EDU> wrote in message
news:9t1e5h$3vh$1...@usenet.Stanford.EDU...
> ni...@bermuda.io.com (Nick Bensema) writes:
>
> So anyway this woman's bouncing on this man's crotch
> and yelling "MORE! MORE! COCK! MORE! COCK!" and my friend Dan goes
> "Hey, isn't he the guy who wrote those _Elric_ books?"
Wow. Once again, ark is channelling Half Man Half Biscuit. This probably
means something.
Paddy
Joseph Michael Bay
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>Hey, sometimes a minimum-wage worker being murdered by a giant Twinkie
>is just a minimum-wage worker being murdered by a giant Twinkie, you
>sick Twinkie gunge freak.
What's sick about being a Twinkie gunge fet^H^H^Henthusiast?
> -- K.
> I DON'T COME DOWN TO WHERE YOU
> WORK AND KNOCK THE GIANT TWINKIE
> OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!
I think Alexei Sayle had the best way of dealing with hecklers: shooting.
--
Chimes peal joy. Bah. Joseph Michael Bay
Icy colon barge Cancer Biology
Frosty divine Saturn Stanford University
"Your legs are too short to kickbox with the Buddha" - Thai saying
Beable van Polasm
>
> When we checked in at the motel in Scottsdale we looked at the map and
> Maggie's conference was up HERE and the motel was down HERE and the
> motel said they'd provide transport to the conference and we thought we
> could get the bus for other stuff, but BUT, when I asked at the desk
> about a bus schedule they OBVIOUSLY couldn't beleive their ears that
> somebody who WASN'T a Hispanic maid was going to ride the BUS and they
> never DID send the bus schedule.
>
> So I bet going on a date on the bus is like rilly rilly um, INCONVENIENT.
Ahh but if the bus is full of Hispanic maids, then Nick could practice
his Spanish conversational skills on the way to his date! Perfect!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
I'm wearing coat hangers on my feet. -- Chris Costello
IQC 78189333
oonh
>
> taly...@globalsurrealism.com (Talysman the Ur-Beatle) writes:
>
>
>>ok, what in the weird world is it's-its?
it's it it ti.
(read it's it ai-tee tee-ai)
oonh
marika
>
> Dating is trivial, but try to keep something going past the 90-
> day "NO RISK" warrantee period. I mean just your OWN interest
> after the second time you've argued about something that wasn't
> worth arguing about once and you thought you'd settled it _her_
> way -- BUT NOOOOOOO!!! Now the agument is about how much of a
> pushover you are -- until you say "WHO CARES???"
>
> Answer: Well, maybe _you_ should!
>
> After you've been through this a few times, you will have gained
> the habit of getting to the part where you get to dissect the
> things she does that drive you crazy and the things about her
> that are defective while she's still getting the list loaded to
> the buffer.
but you're not bitter or anything, right?
Rose Marie Holt
<marik...@my-deja.com> claimed
>
> but you're not bitter or anything, right?
My BF came with me to Seattle for the weekend (I'm up here for the week,
working for filthy lucre) and it was absolutely wonderful. SInce we are Not
Allowed to f*ck 24 hours/day, acc to the shrink, we also hung out, reading,
napping, walking, talking, going to BurgerMaster (my favorite, which he
discovered all by hisself) and reading the paper.
2 years ago at this time I was Not Bitter, like Luke.
3 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship.
So there is hope even for the hopeless.
--
Love,
Marie
WHOSE TITAN ELBOW
>
> but you're not bitter or anything, right?
That's not my legerdemain or lagniappe or whatever ...
--
CRGRE ``The more you think
about politics the more
your energy is siphoned off
and turned into garbage.''
-- Rudy Rucker
WHOSE TITAN ELBOW
14:53:38 GMT]
> SInce we are Not
> Allowed to f*ck 24 hours/day, acc to the shrink
Yeah, they not called "shrinks" for nothing.
Pugg
>Talysman the Ur-Beatle (taly...@globalsurrealism.com) wrote:
>
>> ok, what in the weird world is it's-its? because when we were on
>> our way to/from the airport the other day, we passed this huge
>> building that said IT'S-IT on the side, and I had this weird vision
>> of a cream-filled, chocolate-covered zippy the pinhead.
>
>Well, the store brand of cola sold at Sheetz gas station/convenience
>stores is called "It". You can buy that and say "I want some of It!"
>"Do you like It?" "No, I think It sucks!" and other unfunny sayings
>based on the fact that It is a pronoun.
Man, oh man, I love Sheetz-brand product names.
Recently, they've taken to adding "sh" to otherwise harmless nouns to
create "fun" names for common products. For example, in a normal store
you might buy a muffin, in my countr^W^W^W at Sheetz you buy a
Shmuffin. I can't remember if their MTO Subs are called 'Shubs' or
not, but I am pretty sure that their breakfast biscuits are actually
called Shbiscuits (pronounced kah-THOO-uloo).
For obvious reasons, they declined to add the prefix to their "It"
sodas.
>Also, Sheetz is a funny name. Sheetz Sheetz Sheetz.
'round here, most of what are now Sheetz stores used to be High's
stores before Sheetz came to town and bought them all out; and then
built another 20 bajillion Sheetz stores thus creating a fine grid of
Sheetz stores such that no one Sheetz is more than 1/2 mile from its
shneighboring shtore.
In upstate New York, what would've been a Sheetz is called a
Stewart's. I mention this only because Stewart's soda (a crappy
store-brand cola in NY) seems to be something of a gourmet item down
here. This makes me wonder if It sodas are now trendy in and around
Albany.
WILL ANY AND ALL ALBANY-AREA KIBOLOGISTS PLEASE CHECK IN?! IF WE CANOT
DETERMINE THE TRENDINESS OF IT SODA IN NY THE TERORITS HAVE ALREADY
WON!!!1!!11!
pugg[glances at watch, gasps, rushes off to rehearsal]
--
Paul Shillinger - Lighting Design & Special F/X
For great e-mail! You know what to do.
"Let's get jiggly with it!"
-- Professor Utonium, "The Power Prof"
marika
>
>
>
> My BF came with me to Seattle for the weekend (I'm up here for the week,
> working for filthy lucre) and it was absolutely wonderful. SInce we are Not
> Allowed to f*ck 24 hours/day, acc to the shrink,
if you sometimes broke the rules....
>we also hung out,
snrk
> reading,
> napping, walking, talking, going to BurgerMaster (my favorite, which he
> discovered all by hisself) and reading the paper.
>
> 2 years ago at this time I was Not Bitter, like Luke.
>
> 3 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship.
>
> So there is hope even for the hopeless.
Not for me there ain't
the commonly accepted meaning of my name in Hebrew is "bitter"
oh the rich irony BECAUSE I AM NOT
marika
> [marika, alt.religion.kibology, Mon, 19 Nov 2001 13:38:54 GMT]
>
> >
> > but you're not bitter or anything, right?
>
> That's not my legerdemain or lagniappe or whatever ...
I never said you were a rabbit.
so you are bitter, huhn?
I am happy to see you have capitalized your name in parallel to that Titan thingy.