"Rona Jaffe's Mazes & Monsters"
James Kibo Parry
In one day?
And am I the only one here who likes to make believe he's Tom Hanks
making believe he's Robbie making believe he's Pardu for weeks on end?
I am looking for people who are pretending to be the other three
actors in "Rona Jaffe's Mazes & Monsters" so that we can play
a game of Kibo's "Rona Jaffe's Mazes & Monsters".
Requirements are:
1.) The three people must be unable to figure out that, in New York City,
"The Two Towers" refers to the World Trade Center.
2.) There has to be one guy who has a 190 I.Q. (verified by his mother,
who decorates his room in solid white) and has a different funny hat
in every scene to show that he's an eccentric genius just like
Chuck Barris. Also he has to celebrate Brigette Bardot's birthday
and go to Halloween parties dressed like Noel Coward just in case
we don't already know that there's no difference between having a
190 I.Q. and being gay. Don't forget to have a "Casablanca" poster.
3.) There has to be a young woman who wants to be a writer but has
writer's block due to a lack of life experience.
4.) And the other guy has to be the really good-looking, smart, well-liked,
normal person nobody would possibly expect to go out of his way
to play a stupid board game that makes you go permanently insane.
5.) Oh, and someone has to bring a badly-dubbed talking bird that
can dispense plot points repeatedly while we're ignoring it.
Anyway, I'm going to go wander around wailing "I THINK I KILLED SOMEBODY!
WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER!" in Tom Hanks's voice until Lenny and Squiggy start
chasing me around to steal my bag of spells and I run away from them like
a big sissy who would grow up to play Forrest Gump running away from
people like a big sissy.
Remember, if they catch us sneaking into Pequod Caverns, we'll be expelled!
-- K.
Also my favorite scene is where the
Jack Webb-like detective intones seriously,
"Mazes & Monsters is a 'far-out' game."