IT'S A BOX! HOLY CREOLE!
Shiro Akaishi
"SILENCE担 Guide To Advanced Mapping". It is quite literally, a 25 paragraph
guide on HOW TO MAKE A BOX.
In an advanced 3D modelling program.
And it was badly spelled.
This was going to be a rant, but then I fell asleep.
Good night, Kibology!
--
/\ _____________ \ _()< -Quack! I
(__\ |Shiro Akaishi| \_/ am Png, the
) \. ------------- LL SigDuck!
/.
James Kibo Parry
>
> So here I was, looking for 3d model texturing tutorials, when I run across
> "SILENCE担 Guide To Advanced Mapping". It is quite literally, a 25 paragraph
> guide on HOW TO MAKE A BOX.
>
> In an advanced 3D modelling program.
>
> And it was badly spelled.
That's nothing. I just ran across this set of instructions on how to
make a cool Halloween costume:
-> SKATER
->
-> This is easy, but you have to own or be able to borrow a skating outfit.
-> It looks better than any store bought costume too. Put on the skateing
-> outfit as you would usually do. Do not wear shates if you are going out
-> trick-or-treating. Apply makeup around both eyes and a touch of lipstick.
-> If you are going to a party and not trick-or-treating you could carry
-> around your ice skates or roller skates for effect.Also if you want to
-> add some glitter makeup that adds to the costume. A tiara would look
-> nice with this.
What I like about this misspelled-yet-pointless writeup is that you
can also follow the instructions in the first two lines to make a
Darth Vader costume, if you change "skating" to "Darth Vader".
Matter of fact, most of the rest of the instructions apply to him too
(Do not wear shates if you are Darth Vader.)
While looking at Halloween costume instructions for kids the best
one I saw today was one for making a Lego -- large cardboard box
to cover your body, small cardboard box for a hat, glue eight margarine
tubs to the big box and one to the small box, spray-paint everything
gloss red, wear it with long red underwear. That one was clever,
and didn't just say "GO BUY THIS COSTUME FROM A STORE, NOW YOU HAVE A
COSTUME THAT LOOKS BETTER THAN ANY AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE,
AND REMEMBER NOT TO WEAR SHATES."
Another winner from the people who brought us the skater costume:
-> Britney Spears
->
-> There were more requests for this costume in 1999 than any other.
->
-> But be aware that everyone wants to do this costume so you may be
-> competing with a lot of friends. It is easy, you can really wear anything
-> you like. Britney doesn't seem to wear the same thing twice, so what ever
-> you wear will be like Britney. [...]
Wow! I could follow the instructions for the skating/Darth costume
and be Darth Vader and Britney Spears at the same time!
Question: What do I have to do if I want to NOT look like Britney?
More excitingly easy instructions for a costume you can make out
of common household clothes:
-> M I M E
->
-> This is so easy. It looks better than any store bought costume too. All
-> you need are a dark shirt or stripped shirt and dark slacks, or you can
-> use a long sleeve exersize outfit. Apply white makeup over your entire
-> face using the makeup recipe on my costume page. Use red lipstick or red
-> makeup on your lips. Now if you have a derby hat or even a barret, that
-> would make a nice touch. If you have some white gloves wear them. You can
-> mimick a mime when people are watching. Is that eay or what?
It sure is eay. Unless the kids follow the instructions and get a barrette
instead of a beret, and then everyone keeps calling them "Barbara Feldon".
However, the important thing is to mimic a mime when people are watching.
Too many people dress up as mimes and then hide inside a 55-gallon drum
in a darkened fallout shelter. Most mime performers forget the basic rule:
You must seek out people and bother them.
(Even if you have a spare Mummenschanz costume lying around, it's pretty
pointless to just wear it in your spare room.)
And don't forget, the important thing about a mime costume is to wear
a black shirt and black pants and no reflective safety tape, because
real mimes don't want to make it easy for the cars to steer towards them.
And if the kid has a black turtleneck shirt and black pants in the
closet, I bet he can already think of three or four cooler things to
make with them ("ninja", "catburglar", and "ninja burglar" come to mind.)
Those ideas are cool because they're antisocial, unlike mimes.
This one's just plain bad:
-> Bag of Grapes
->
-> What you'll need.
->
-> A clear plastic trash bag.
-> Bag of red green or purple balloons.
->
-> You will need a package of red, blue, purple or green colored balloon's.
-> The balloons should all be the same color. Blow up the balloons. Put on
-> dark slacks or tights. Cut 2 slits in the bottom of the trash bag about
-> 8 inches long and make the slits with a 4-inch space between them, this is
-> where your legs will go in. Now slip into the bag as if putting on slacks
-> and have someone help you fill the clear trash bag with the already
-> inflated balloons and fasten the trash bag under your arms or around your
-> neck. Whichever you feel most comfortable with. If you fasten the bag
-> around your neck you will need to cut to more slits for the arms.
The reason this one's good for kids is that it would be unsafe for them
to go as a regular bunch of grapes, because that would involve gluing
balloons to their clothes, which could result in skin suffocation if
they used too much glue and forgot to wear clothes under the balloons.
So, for safety, they make the kid wear a plastic bag which can be tied
off tightly around or over the neck.
Now, if you were to wear this other costume,
-> Bag of Gumballs
->
-> What you'll need.
->
-> A clear plastic trash bag.
-> Bag of different colored balloons.
...then people would keep mistaking you for a bag of rotting grapes,
or possibly a bag of balloons. I suppose it depends on where you tie
off the bag.
Me, I want to be "Bag O' Irwin Mainway Products", which would be a
big plastic bag filled with little plastic bags marked "Bag O' Glass",
"Bag O' Acid", "Bag O' Blasting Caps", and so on. The problem is
I'd have to dress up like Dan Aykroyd, and because I'm a method actor
I'd never be able to make it down the block because I'd keep trying
to explain to everyone that all the ghosts we see are completely real
and factually accurate. Plus if I had to be Dan Aykroyd for a day
I'd rather be him as the "Decibet" guy.
There are also a lot of good costume ideas on the site in question, they're
not all "bag of round things" or "costumes you must already own" projects.
Needless to say, any outfit requiring makeup can be completed with
a mixture of cornstarch and Crisco, and if you need red hair,
you're supposed to put red Kool-Aid in your hair. No, really.
I buy the idea of making greasepaint from Crisco, but having dried
Kool-Aid in your hair seems like a recipe for disaster, especially
now that the killer bees are here.
Some other Web sites have a makeup recipe (usually copied from
the "MasterCook" program) which just uses cornstarch, flour, and
corn syrup, and I can't imagine that could look good -- it'd just
look like you were a messy eater who never bathes. The Crisco
would at least have better creaminess and opacity. The water-based
one probably wouldn't go on evenly, and would dry up and flake off,
and only the greasy one would save the kid's life if he got his head
stuck between the posts in the stairway bannister.
-- K.
Why am I even reading this stuff?
Why am I even writing this stuff?
And why won't any of these Web sites
tell me how to make a "terrorist"
costume for kids, like the one in
the original version of "E.T."?
James Vandenberg
> Shiro Akaishi (aka...@skizzzzers.org) wrote:
>>
>> So here I was, looking for 3d model texturing tutorials, when I run across
>> "SILENCE担 Guide To Advanced Mapping". It is quite literally, a 25 paragraph
>> guide on HOW TO MAKE A BOX.
>>
>> In an advanced 3D modelling program.
>>
>> And it was badly spelled.
>
> That's nothing. I just ran across this set of instructions on how to
> make a cool Halloween costume:
>
> -> SKATER
> ->
> -> This is easy, but you have to own or be able to borrow a skating outfit.
> -> It looks better than any store bought costume too. Put on the skateing
> -> outfit as you would usually do. Do not wear shates if you are going out
> -> trick-or-treating. Apply makeup around both eyes and a touch of lipstick.
> -> If you are going to a party and not trick-or-treating you could carry
> -> around your ice skates or roller skates for effect.Also if you want to
> -> add some glitter makeup that adds to the costume. A tiara would look
> -> nice with this.
>
> What I like about this misspelled-yet-pointless writeup is that you
> can also follow the instructions in the first two lines to make a
> Darth Vader costume, if you change "skating" to "Darth Vader".
> Matter of fact, most of the rest of the instructions apply to him too
> (Do not wear shates if you are Darth Vader.)
I'm just imagining Darth Vader wearing a tiara. "Luke, I am your father. I
broke up with your mother after I stretched all her dresses out of shape.
Also, Me and C3PO, we're an item." To which, all I can say is: "DIY
RealDoll".
> While looking at Halloween costume instructions for kids the best
> one I saw today was one for making a Lego -- large cardboard box
> to cover your body, small cardboard box for a hat, glue eight margarine
> tubs to the big box and one to the small box, spray-paint everything
> gloss red, wear it with long red underwear. That one was clever,
> and didn't just say "GO BUY THIS COSTUME FROM A STORE, NOW YOU HAVE A
> COSTUME THAT LOOKS BETTER THAN ANY AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE,
> AND REMEMBER NOT TO WEAR SHATES."
But then, what happens if all your friends dress up as lego too? Can you
build a house?
> Another winner from the people who brought us the skater costume:
>
> -> Britney Spears
> ->
> -> There were more requests for this costume in 1999 than any other.
> ->
> -> But be aware that everyone wants to do this costume so you may be
> -> competing with a lot of friends. It is easy, you can really wear anything
> -> you like. Britney doesn't seem to wear the same thing twice, so what ever
> -> you wear will be like Britney. [...]
>
> Wow! I could follow the instructions for the skating/Darth costume
> and be Darth Vader and Britney Spears at the same time!
Oops, I did it again, I blew up Alderaan. I'm not that innocent...
> Question: What do I have to do if I want to NOT look like Britney?
GROW A BEARD! But this may change. Check this website often for updates.
> More excitingly easy instructions for a costume you can make out
> of common household clothes:
>
> -> M I M E
> ->
> -> This is so easy. It looks better than any store bought costume too. All
> -> you need are a dark shirt or stripped shirt and dark slacks, or you can
> -> use a long sleeve exersize outfit. Apply white makeup over your entire
> -> face using the makeup recipe on my costume page. Use red lipstick or red
> -> makeup on your lips. Now if you have a derby hat or even a barret, that
> -> would make a nice touch. If you have some white gloves wear them. You can
> -> mimick a mime when people are watching. Is that eay or what?
>
> It sure is eay. Unless the kids follow the instructions and get a barrette
> instead of a beret, and then everyone keeps calling them "Barbara Feldon".
> However, the important thing is to mimic a mime when people are watching.
> Too many people dress up as mimes and then hide inside a 55-gallon drum
> in a darkened fallout shelter. Most mime performers forget the basic rule:
> You must seek out people and bother them.
Only if they are fake upwind of you.
> (Even if you have a spare Mummenschanz costume lying around, it's pretty
> pointless to just wear it in your spare room.)
>
> And don't forget, the important thing about a mime costume is to wear
> a black shirt and black pants and no reflective safety tape, because
> real mimes don't want to make it easy for the cars to steer towards them.
IWPTA memes. I wanna dress up as a bee in a balloon! Everybody knows cars
couldn't find a meme if it was screwing its engine block. off.
> And if the kid has a black turtleneck shirt and black pants in the
> closet, I bet he can already think of three or four cooler things to
> make with them ("ninja", "catburglar", and "ninja burglar" come to mind.)
IJLS Ninja cat. Nick Bensema will now tell of an anime based on this
premise. But Ninja Cat! He's So Cool! He Doesn't Smell, Of Dried Fea-ces!!!!
> Those ideas are cool because they're antisocial, unlike mimes.
You blew my sarcasmometer.
> This one's just plain bad:
>
> -> Bag of Grapes
> ->
> -> What you'll need.
> ->
> -> A clear plastic trash bag.
> -> Bag of red green or purple balloons.
> ->
> -> You will need a package of red, blue, purple or green colored balloon's.
> -> The balloons should all be the same color. Blow up the balloons. Put on
> -> dark slacks or tights. Cut 2 slits in the bottom of the trash bag about
> -> 8 inches long and make the slits with a 4-inch space between them, this is
> -> where your legs will go in. Now slip into the bag as if putting on slacks
> -> and have someone help you fill the clear trash bag with the already
> -> inflated balloons and fasten the trash bag under your arms or around your
> -> neck. Whichever you feel most comfortable with. If you fasten the bag
> -> around your neck you will need to cut to more slits for the arms.
That last line looks to me like a script direction thing.
MARTHA (dying)
You can't stop the grapes with your guns! You will need to....
CUT TO:
More slits for the arms.
> The reason this one's good for kids is that it would be unsafe for them
> to go as a regular bunch of grapes, because that would involve gluing
> balloons to their clothes, which could result in skin suffocation if
> they used too much glue and forgot to wear clothes under the balloons.
> So, for safety, they make the kid wear a plastic bag which can be tied
> off tightly around or over the neck.
>
> Now, if you were to wear this other costume,
>
> -> Bag of Gumballs
> ->
> -> What you'll need.
> ->
> -> A clear plastic trash bag.
> -> Bag of different colored balloons.
>
> ...then people would keep mistaking you for a bag of rotting grapes,
> or possibly a bag of balloons. I suppose it depends on where you tie
> off the bag.
A useful diagnostic table:
Bag tied off around arms, multi-coloured balloons
round and firm:
Child is a bag of gumballs.
Bag tied off around arms, balloons all saggy like:
Child is a bag of rotten grapes.
Bag tied off around neck, head green or purple:
Child is a bag of grapes.
Bag tied over head:
Child poses a choking hazard and should not be used as a flotation
device.
Bag tied up and placed in garbage skip:
Child was wearing shates.
> Me, I want to be "Bag O' Irwin Mainway Products", which would be a
> big plastic bag filled with little plastic bags marked "Bag O' Glass",
> "Bag O' Acid", "Bag O' Blasting Caps", and so on. The problem is
> I'd have to dress up like Dan Aykroyd, and because I'm a method actor
> I'd never be able to make it down the block because I'd keep trying
> to explain to everyone that all the ghosts we see are completely real
> and factually accurate. Plus if I had to be Dan Aykroyd for a day
> I'd rather be him as the "Decibet" guy.
>
> There are also a lot of good costume ideas on the site in question, they're
> not all "bag of round things" or "costumes you must already own" projects.
How about a bag of round things you probably have in your very own BZZT GAH
> Needless to say, any outfit requiring makeup can be completed with
> a mixture of cornstarch and Crisco, and if you need red hair,
> you're supposed to put red Kool-Aid in your hair. No, really.
> I buy the idea of making greasepaint from Crisco, but having dried
> Kool-Aid in your hair seems like a recipe for disaster, especially
> now that the killer bees are here.
On the other hand, you can now be a goth while saving money.
> Some other Web sites have a makeup recipe (usually copied from
> the "MasterCook" program) which just uses cornstarch, flour, and
> corn syrup, and I can't imagine that could look good -- it'd just
> look like you were a messy eater who never bathes. The Crisco
> would at least have better creaminess and opacity. The water-based
> one probably wouldn't go on evenly, and would dry up and flake off,
Best. Star Trek. Alien. Skin. Effect. Ever.
> and only the greasy one would save the kid's life if he got his head
> stuck between the posts in the stairway bannister.
I have no idea what you are insinuating.
> -- K.
>
> Why am I even reading this stuff?
>
> Why am I even writing this stuff?
Because we love it. And if you don't, the internet will implode.
> And why won't any of these Web sites
> tell me how to make a "terrorist"
> costume for kids, like the one in
> the original version of "E.T."?
Terrorist costume:
Wear a camera, hawaiian shirt, and a map. Also keep asking people for
directions to the building you are standing outside of, and if the locals
don't understand you, speak louder.
Ja-how-do-you-get-to-carnegie-hall?-mes
--
James Vandenberg Email: james at vandenberg.dropbear.id.au
GPG FP= 65AB 179A D884 EDC6 216D FE6A 6833 02BC 4425 4F70
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. ICQ: 151135390
Beware! Sometimes forks and candles fall from the sky.
HarCo Industries
> So here I was, looking for 3d model texturing tutorials, when I run across
>
> In an advanced 3D modelling program.
>
> And it was badly spelled.
>
> This was going to be a rant, but then I fell asleep.
>
> Good night, Kibology!
Here's are tutorials only slightly more advanced:
http://www.jabberdoggy.com/Tutorials/Tutorials.html
Of course, nothing to do with textures, because my idea of a texture
is something like Color = Red.
Also, here is a free alien dude I made for Poser, if you are into that
sort of thing.
http://www.jabberdoggy.com/Cring/Cring.html
This post is all about me tooting my own horn. Toot! Toot!
Glenn Knickerbocker
> -> add some glitter makeup that adds to the costume. A tiara would look
> -> nice with this.
>
> What I like about this misspelled-yet-pointless writeup is that you
> can also follow the instructions in the first two lines to make a
> Darth Vader costume, if you change "skating" to "Darth Vader".
> Matter of fact, most of the rest of the instructions apply to him too
--but not the last one, of course, unless you're Darth Vader just
sitting around the house, in which case you have to carry around all
Darth Vader's furniture trick-or-treating with you to show that you're
in Darth Vader's house. Everybody knows Darth Vader's not allowed to
wear his tiara when he goes to work or on vacation.
ŹR
Shiro Akaishi
>> And if the kid has a black turtleneck shirt and black pants in the
>> closet, I bet he can already think of three or four cooler things to
>> make with them ("ninja", "catburglar", and "ninja burglar" come to
>> mind.)
>
> IJLS Ninja cat. Nick Bensema will now tell of an anime based on this
> premise. But Ninja Cat! He's So Cool! He Doesn't Smell, Of Dried
> Fea-ces!!!!
Not quite that, but recommended nonetheless:
_Samurai Cat_, by Mark E. Rogers.
There are several books.
Watch out for communist radiation.
pete
> Wow! I could follow the instructions for the skating/Darth costume
> and be Darth Vader and Britney Spears at the same time!
>
> Question: What do I have to do if I want to NOT look like Britney?
Just put your shates back on, works for Darth Vader too.
--
pete
Leo Sgouros
"Rich Holmes" <rsholme...@mailbox.syr.edu> wrote in message
news:xzcbs7a...@rodan.syr.edu...
> Shiro Akaishi <aka...@skizzzzers.org> writes:
>
> > Not quite that, but recommended nonetheless:
> >
> > _Samurai Cat_, by Mark E. Rogers.
> >
> > There are several books.
> >
> > Watch out for communist radiation.
>
> you.
Does "Mark E. Rogers" do "Mark E. Rogers does this better than you" to you
while pointing at *this*?
>
> --
> - Doctroid Doctroid Holmes <http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/>
> '"Jarabe Tapatio" is Latin for "Jar Jar Does Not Go", which is
> why there are no Ford Pinatas in Episode 2.'
> -- Carlos "Froggy" May
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Those ideas are cool because they're antisocial, unlike mimes.
>
> You blew my sarcasmometer.
Maybe for Halloween I'll dress up as a sarcasmometer, if I can find
rubber tubing of the right sort. In place of the bulb to pump it
up I could just use a plastic trash bag with some balloons in it.
> > [...on "Bag Of Grapes" vs "Bag Of Gumballs":]
> > I suppose it depends on where you tie off the bag.
>
> A useful diagnostic table:
>
> Bag tied off around arms, multi-coloured balloons
> round and firm:
> Child is a bag of gumballs.
>
> Bag tied off around arms, balloons all saggy like:
> Child is a bag of rotten grapes.
>
> Bag tied off around neck, head green or purple:
> Child is a bag of grapes.
>
> Bag tied over head:
> Child poses a choking hazard and should not be used as a flotation
> device.
>
> Bag tied up and placed in garbage skip:
> Child was wearing shates.
Garbage SHIP, son, garbage SHIP.
And now I'm going to end this wacky SKIT.
-- K.
Halloween costume idea #2935:
BatLego.
Schwa Love
news:kibo-06090...@ppp0b167.std.com:
> That's nothing. I just ran across this set of instructions on how to
> make a cool Halloween costume:
>
> -> SKATER
> ->
> -> This is easy, but you have to own or be able to borrow a skating
> outfit. -> It looks better than any store bought costume too. Put on
> the skateing -> outfit as you would usually do. Do not wear shates if
> you are going out -> trick-or-treating. Apply makeup around both eyes
> and a touch of lipstick. -> If you are going to a party and not
> trick-or-treating you could carry -> around your ice skates or roller
> skates for effect.Also if you want to -> add some glitter makeup that
> adds to the costume. A tiara would look -> nice with this.
>
> What I like about this misspelled-yet-pointless writeup is that you
> can also follow the instructions in the first two lines to make a
> Darth Vader costume, if you change "skating" to "Darth Vader".
> Matter of fact, most of the rest of the instructions apply to him too
> (Do not wear shates if you are Darth Vader.)
As opposed to everyone else thinking of tiaras, I imagined Darth Vader with
eye makeup and a touch of lipstick.
> While looking at Halloween costume instructions for kids the best
> one I saw today was one for making a Lego -- large cardboard box
> to cover your body, small cardboard box for a hat, glue eight
> margarine tubs to the big box and one to the small box, spray-paint
> everything gloss red, wear it with long red underwear. That one was
> clever, and didn't just say "GO BUY THIS COSTUME FROM A STORE, NOW YOU
> HAVE A COSTUME THAT LOOKS BETTER THAN ANY AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE,
> AND REMEMBER NOT TO WEAR SHATES."
OK, so what if I want to go as Lego Darth Vader? Sure, gluing a margarine
tub on top of my head so that my shiny helmet stays on seems feasible, but
do I have to glue four margarine tubs inside out into the holes in the back
of my legs? Sounds painful.
Also, I really don't want to have to remove my head just to put the cape
on.
[...]
> Needless to say, any outfit requiring makeup can be completed with
> a mixture of cornstarch and Crisco, and if you need red hair,
> you're supposed to put red Kool-Aid in your hair. No, really.
> I buy the idea of making greasepaint from Crisco, but having dried
> Kool-Aid in your hair seems like a recipe for disaster, especially
> now that the killer bees are here.
Actually, the Kool-Aid in hair trick has been practiced for years by many a
poor punkrawker in their early teens as a way to a) dye hair for cheap, and
b) dye hair in such a way that it washes out within a couple days so mom
and dad don't get too angry. As for Crisco or cornstarch in the hair, I've
never seen that used, though spray starch in the hair that is then ironed
next to a flat surface has been employed by many to make their mohawks
extra stand-uppy.
-- Schwa ---
Zixia
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in
> news:kibo-06090...@ppp0b167.std.com:
>
>> What I like about this misspelled-yet-pointless writeup is that
>> you can also follow the instructions in the first two lines to
>> make a Darth Vader costume, if you change "skating" to "Darth
>> Vader". Matter of fact, most of the rest of the instructions
>> apply to him too (Do not wear shates if you are Darth Vader.)
>
> As opposed to everyone else thinking of tiaras, I imagined Darth
> Vader with eye makeup and a touch of lipstick.
That's because Darth Vader is the ultimate Goth.
He was just misunderstood and full of understandable angst. All he
needed was a little attention. But, no, Leia didn't say, 'Ooh Vader,
what a BIG Space Station you have!', instead giving him (well, one of
his minions) a bogus home address, which only fuelled his angst.
Kids, huh?
--
@+------------+@
_o)| Everything |(o_
/\\| Is Nice |//\
_\_V|____________|V_/_