Kibological Etymology (reposts)

[James Kibo Parry]

In alt.religion.kibology, tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) wrote:
>
> Courtesy of DejaNews, which is wonky.

And only goes back to 1995. MY alt.religion.kibology archive goes back to 1991.
And because I control all access to the archive, I am the only
alt.religion.kibology participant who can run for President. This is
why I run for President--BECAUSE I CAN.

> PANTS, THE NOT WEARING OF
>
> First mention of the phrase "I'm not wearing pants," or any variant
> thereof:
>
> Indeterminate. This usage probably exists before June 1995,

Well, it USED to. Then some BOZO named Dee Jay News went and claimed that
history started in 1995. DEJANEWS DENIES THE HOLOCAUST HAPPENED!!!

Here's the REAL first mention. I was alluding to Letterman shouting
"My name is Morley Safer, and I'm not wearing pants!" out his office window.

Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors, alt.religion.kibology, sci.physics.new-theories
From: ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: FOOL?
Message-ID: <C5pL3...@world.std.com>
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 1993 02:18:41 GMT

[alt.alien.visitors.]
In article <1993Apr17....@unlv.edu> blo...@little-jimmy.cs.unlv.edu writes:
> I believe I started this string by saying I wasn't afraid of
> Kibo... I'm still not, but strings are getting up there on my
> paranoid list...

FERAL STRINGS MENACE BARCELONA. ALSO, I'M NOT WEARING PANTS. FILM AT 11.

Better call you-know-who on the String Telephone! It's a particle!
It's a wave! It's Super String! Yes, mild-mannered Silly String, when
sprayed across a lit birthday candle, bursts into flame and becomes
Super String, the first n-dimensional comic book hero! Get out your
handy n-dimensional glasses, kiddies! SUPER STRING IS HERE!

-- K., who knows that
you need to keep the
caps lock key down or
all the key caps might
get stolen!

> NUTELLA
>
> This is a meme that migrated from alt.folklore.urban to ARK, probably by
> way of Michele "I've broken pencils bigger than your neck, punk!" Tepper.
>
> The first ARK reference, strangely enough, was in the Organization Line of
> a post by Ben Weiner on 1/23/96 which had nothing to do with Nutella.

The ONE AND ONLY first Nutella reference:

Newsgroups: alt.horror.cthulhu, soc.bi, alt.politics, alt.religion.kibology
From: k...@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker)
Subject: Re: Another Good Way to Kill Someone
Message-ID: <1993Jun30.1...@dcs.warwick.ac.uk>
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Warwick University, England
Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1993 14:50:17 GMT

In article <C9EKr...@acsu.buffalo.edu> maj...@acsu.buffalo.edu (Murali) writes:
>> Nyar (waiting for Nutella to appear in alt.politics)
>
> Silly...whatever does Nutella, Spam, Vegemite, Marmite, or any
>other creepy substance (Nutella obviously being the "one of these
>things" which does not belong under the label "creepy") belong in
>alt.politics? And what does Kibo have to do with any of this?

Politics I can't say: Kibo belongs everywhere. For instance, by
application of anagrammatology, we find

NUTELLA + SPAM + MARMITE + KIBO = BLANK REPETITIOUS MAMMAL
(those who abhor Kibo)
ALMOST IMPERIAL BUNKMATE
(Kibo. "Almost", 'cos he's
straight)
IMMUTABLE ALIEN POSTMARK
(The "sign" of Kibo)
PUNK-METABOLISM MATERIAL
(Nutella, Spam, Marmite...)
SUBLIMINAL-PORK TEAMMATE
(Kibo as the "hidden Pig" of
Team Limpid)

NUTELLA + SPAM + MARMITE + VEGEMITE + KIBO = MAKE STEEL VAGINA-TRUMPET
IMMOBILE
(verb. sap. suff...)

I also have an elegant proof that Kibo is tail-recursive, but the
margin is too small to contain it...

Kay
--
Kay Dekker - the Vestigial Virgin of soc.bi

> MENTOS
>
> Too early, too numerous to mention. Probably Kibo, who would be as likely
> as anyone else as a candidate for introduction of the Mentos joke to
> Usenet in the first place.

Believe it or not, this is the first "Mentos" in my archive.
(Except for one "mementos" which doesn't count.) This is proof that
Kibo is so hip that he was making fun of Mentos commercials when the
rest of you were just realizing that there was a difference between the
commercials and the rest of "The Flintstones".

Newsgroups: alt.tv.mst3k,alt.religion.kibology
From: ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Usenet's first Mentos commercial. [advertisement]
Message-ID: <CFFt0...@world.std.com>
Organization: A place with really big letters taped to the walls
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 1993 05:09:42 GMT

Yes, Mentos, the chewy mint, are not being advertised right here on
Usenet in flagrant violation of all rules everywhere!!!

MENTOS: THE MOTION PICTURE
==========================

a film by James "Kibo" Parry
cinematography by Ed Wood, Jr.

The Mentos jingle beings to play, a bouncy upbeat song which the "groovy"
teens of today will enjoy. Something they will "really dig".
Happy perky teenagers, all played by 26-year-olds, are waiting for
their favorite celebrity to arrive at a fancy hotel. They are all jumping
up and down and waving signs which say "HAPPY", "EXCITEMENT", "SIGN", and
"GENERIC". They are being kept at bay by two crusty but loveable grumpy
security guards wearing baseball caps which say "SECURITY GUARD".
Kibo, a perfectly normal 26-year-old teenager, is trying to get past
the guards with his hip Kodak Brownie camera. They won't let him, so he
smashes one guard's face against the wall. Blood spurts everywhere and
Kibo takes the guard's hat and strolls into the hotel. As he exits,
he waves a roll of Mentos at the injured guard and smiles. The bleeding
guard smiles back.
Six policemen in pink and lime green riot gear appear and drag Kibo
away. They make him stand in a lineup with three other people also wearing
"SECURITY GUARD" baseball caps. Kibo pops a Mento into his mouth and turns
the hat backwards. We see a silhouette of someone pointing at the suspect
next to Kibo. Kibo smiles and holds up his roll of Mentos.
The innocent man is now strapped into an electric chair. Kibo pops
another Mento into his mouth, smiles, and flips a large switch with the roll
of Mentos. Sparks fly out of the chair and a flashing neon sign saying
"MENTOS" lights up. Everyone laughs. Freeze-frame.

Fresh feels funny, fresh feels funner when you're mental for Mentos!

Coming soon: MENTOS II: THE QUICKENING
and for the adults...MENTOS AFTER MIDNIGHT

> IYKWIM, AITYD
>
> Meaning "If you know what I mean, and I think you do," and generally
> implying sexual or scatalogical innuendo, or gross exaggerations of sexual
> appendages. Probably appeared elsewhere on Usenet before Kibologists got
> hold of it and beat it into a bloody stump.
>
> First reference: 12/11/95, by Lupus Yonderboy, in his .sig: "Yonderboy!
> IYKWIM, AITYD".

"...if you know what I mean." showed up in 1991 in lame Letterman Top 10 lists some guy was posting all over the place. I think people stopped stealing
lame Letterman gags around April 20, 1993.

> YOU MISSPELLED <...>, HOPE THIS HELPS (alternate: YM <...>, HTH)
>
> Helpful Kibologists are always on hand to assist someone with an
> unfortunate spelling mistake or semantical mis-step. Once wildly popular
> meme dragged kicking, screaming and half-dead midway into 1996 by one
> Joseph Richard "Ralph" Koleszar.
>
> First fully spelled-out mention: 3/31/95, Ian Porter. "You misspelled
> 22/7. Hope this helps."

Various pieces of documentary evidence submitted for your ignorance:

From: bea...@panix.com (Steve Kramarsky)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: REORBITING VENUS. TIME HAS~ INERTIA. EQUIVALENCE OF TIME AND MASS
Date: 12 Jan 1994 19:38:13 -0500
Organization: PANIX Public Access Internet and Unix, NYC
Message-ID: <2h255l$j...@panix2.panix.com>

In article <mcirvin.758400864@husc8>,
Matt McIrvin <mci...@husc8.harvard.edu> wrote:
>ko...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Jason 'KodaK' Balicki) writes:
>>ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>>>NOBEL PRIZE FOR PSUEDOSCIENCE!!!!!! AND THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>> -- K.
>>Their iz no pulitizer prize for scientology!!1
>
>I heard it was because Roxanne Pulitzer's wife ran off with L. Ron Howard!

You misspelled Elroy *and* Jetson.

>
>Xemu pops the clutch, and tells the thetans to: EAT MY DUST!!!!!!!!
>--
>Matt 01234567 <-- The original Indent-o-Meter
>McIrvin ^ Someday, tab damage will light our homes!

- Steve "Jane, stop this crazy thing!" Kramarsky

For what it's worth, I was telling people "Hey! You spelled your name wrong!"
on local conferencing services before there was an alt.*.

And for more fun, partial results of a search on "You misspelled":

Um, you misspelled "masterbation" try masturbation.
Hey! You misspelled that. It's
You misspelled Elroy *and* Jetson.
You misspelled 'TaLe', too. She runs news.announce.newgroups.
You misspelled "pirzqxgl".
>You misspelled "pirzqxgl".
You misspelled Amiga. Kibo misspelled quohaug.
You misspelled hardon.
Umm, Andy, you misspelled "linux" twice.
You misspelled "h*ll".
What if everyone simply shouts "Hey, Justin, you misspelled 'diarrhea'
You misspelled "shit".
You misspelled "cohesion." (Alt.fan.gooley added to the subject line
>You misspelled "cohesion." (Alt.fan.gooley added to the subject line
>You misspelled "cohesion."
Say, big guy, you misspelled "Alexander" the second time.
You misspelled "weener".
You misspelled "does_-_not_-_want_-_us_-_to_-_know"
(you misspelled "vistas")
11". I can't
You misspelled Quetzalcoatl. And boy is he pissed.
If you have to ask, you'll never know. Also, you misspelled your name.
>Also, you misspelled your name.
> >Also, you misspelled your name.
You misspelled misspelled.
You misspelled 'krunk'.
You misspelled zfnantz^H^H^H^H^H^H^aerobica.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
>Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
>>Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
>>Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
You misspelled `Firstly', `Secondly', and `Thirdly'.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
You misspelled "Seurat". But what I wonder is, is this the Seurat
You misspelled Dave
you misspelled Warner Bros.
You misspelled Dave
you misspelled Warner Bros.
You misspelled me four
$You misspelled me four
You misspelled Dave.
>You misspelled misspelled.
You misspelled ""misspelled"".
You misspelled `:-)'.
You misspelled "feltch"...but it's still a good question, as
> Sheesh. You misspelled both "rec" *and* "kibo". Is one out of
>>Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
You misspelled 'Bottomleylogists'
You misspelled 'Cymulator'
Hey, you misspelled 'Ann'.
Plus, you misspelled "yuck"
>You misspelled 'Bottomleylogists'
>You misspelled 'Cymulator'
>You misspelled `:-)'.
You misspelled Alistair Crowley's last name. Did you know he used to
You misspelled "re-pezented".
You misspelled `gaffa'.
>You misspelled 'Bottomleylogists'
>You misspelled 'Cymulator'
>>You misspelled misspelled.
>You misspelled ""misspelled"".
You misspelled "'misspelled.'"
]>You misspelled misspelled.
]You misspelled ""misspelled"".
You misspelled "'misspelled.'"
You misspelled "elephant."
You misspelled "elephant."
You misspelled Kibo.
You misspelled the word "futile."
Sweedler), you misspelled theobromine.
have had a hyphen, and you misspelled mispelled.
|> You misspelled "elephant."
You misspelled 'enema'
>You misspelled `gaffa'.
You misspelled 'Hoffa', or 'Giraffe', I'm not sure which.
You misspelled female.
You misspelled "Slaughter".
You misspelled adroit.
>You misspelled Kibo.
You misspelled `Worfs'.
> You misspelled 'enema'
You misspelled 'Armstrong'.
>You misspelled "Slaughter".
You misspelled pneumonia.
* You misspelled Kibo.
>You misspelled "Slaughter".
You misspelled "...".
You misspelled `Kirk'. This kind of disrespect to Kirk Cameron's memory is
You misspelled `Madonna'.
You misspelled `virgin'.
>You misspelled "Slaughter".
>You misspelled `gaffa'.
You misspelled 'Hoffa', or 'Giraffe', I'm not sure which.
You misspelled mushrooms

And "Hope this helps." is as old as the hills. First use in a.r.k:

Newsgroups: alt.slack, alt.religion.kibology
From: cjher...@rose.waterloo.edu (Chris Herborth)
Subject: Re: Excuse
Message-ID: <1991Dec9.1...@watdragon.waterloo.edu>
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Mon, 9 Dec 1991 18:10:41 GMT

In article <16...@sybase.sybase.com> chr...@sancho.sybase.com (Christine Lancaster) writes:
}Hello.
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
}I hope you are all behaving in an orderly fashion.

Please explain, "behave"?

}Here is an excuse note for you.

Here is all of _your_ slack... The stuff that wasn't sent to my ~/temp/
directory as soon as you typed the letters P-n-e-w-s...

}-------------------please cut here if you wish-------------------------
}----------please cut here if you also cut at the previous line----------
}
}I hope this helps.
}
}Christine.

Write my exams for me, that would help. Buy me dinner, that would help.
Or kill me, that would help.

Or cross-post everything you ever write to alt.religion.kibology...

Maybe he'll tell us about Serious Putty(tm) if we all send him big
postscript files using only "Hell"vetica...

---------------=============================================---------------
Chris Herborth, 3B Hons English RPW cjherborth@{rose|lotus}.waterloo.edu
GEnie: C.HERBORTH
"It's _lust_," Jenny said, ominously. "The world is sick with lust."

> But really, I'm starting to get tired.

Why tire yourself out ripping off the "Exegesis" section of my Web page?
In any case, remember: DejaNews isn't a search engine. It's like a BABY'S GAME.

-- K.
I still dare the world at
large to e-mail me a copy
of my big sword .sig from
the eighties.