Firesign Theatre: Lexicon, Part 1/4
Niles D. Ritter
Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lexicon/part1
Last-modified: 1994/8/30
Version: 2.0
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Changes:
1. Split int <32K parts!
Side 4) The Firesign Theatre: Lexicon and Concordance File (1/4)
================================================================
INDEX:
Part 1: ALVARADO-CURFEW
Part 2: DCTDHMTP-GORGONZOLA
Part 3: HCYB-OZ
Part 4: PAPOON-ZIPS
[A]
---
ALVARADO: {PICO}'s sidekick, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". From the
streets Pico and Alvarado in Los Angeles. PICO and ALVARADO are both
{BEANERS}. They are featured in the plays {BOZOS},{DWARF}, as well as
others. {NICK DANGER} had to swim down Alvarado to his convertable
during a severe rain storm. Pico and Alvarado sometimes like to
yell, "{PARK} it and Lock it! Not Responsible!"
AMES: Harry Ames, Jr. A fictional actor who portrays Lieutenant
{BRADSHAW} on the {NICK DANGER} series. There is also a Gun
Salesman names Ed Ames, who runs the "Ames Guns" store in {DWARF}.
ANCHOVIES: Small fish with beady little eyes. We first encounter
anchovies in {DWARF}, when George Tirebiter calls a {PIZZA} parlor
(note the name of the pizza joint he calls):
GEORGE [mumbling]: Let's see...Ocelots. Paupers. Pipe-nipples,
Polombras, Pizzas! Armenian Gardens...Hank's Juggernaut...
New Leviathan...Nick's Swell...
SOUND: HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS. THE NEWSCAST GOES ON.
< Broadcast deleted>
GEORGE [phoning]: Uh, this is George Tirebiter, Camden N 200 R.
[pause] Uh, I want to order a pizza to go, and no anchovies.
[pause] What ? [clicks phone] Oh, man! Nobody will come
up here at all!
Apparently, Tirebiter mistakenly called {NICK DANGER}, in the
episode, "Cut 'Em Off at the Past". On that album, we hear the
same conversation, but from the other side of the phone:
ANNOUNCER: He walks in! He's ready for mystery...he's ready for
excitement! He's ready for anything...he's...
SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKED UP
NICK: Nick Danger, Third Eye!
GEORGE: (ON FILTER) Uh-I wanna order a pizza to go, and no
anchovies.
NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell
my name...Danger! [click]
GEORGE: (FILTER) What?
MUSIC: "NICK DANGER" THEME IN AND UNDER.
Note: This is a direct quote from the "Big Mystery" Joke book, and
so the attribution of "GEORGE" to the guy on the other side of the
phone is the FT's, not an inference (some people thought it was
the voice of the teenage Porgie that called Nick).
In another episode of Nick Danger, "The case of the Missing Yolks"
(Video), and the "Three faces of Al" (album), Rocky {ROCOCO} calls
up Nick at the start of the play, and turns everything around:
ROCKY: I want to order an anchovy to go, and hold the pizza.
NICK: Anchovies?
ROCKY: Yeah, those little black things, with eyes!
NICK: You've got the wrong man. I spell my name
(LOOKS BACK AT THE DOOR) ...REGNAD.
ANTELOPE FREEWAY: A {LOS ANGELES} Freeway, north of the
{SAN FERNANDINO} valley towards Palmdale. Used to demonstrate
{ZENO'S PARADOX} in the {TWO PLACES} album.
ARTIE CHOKE: A {HOLOGRAM} in the FT's {BOZO} play. Artie, the Lonesome
Beet and the Whisperin' Squash were all once intended to be characters
in an FT western radio show, featuring an all-vegetable cast.
AUSTIN: Philip Austin, one of the FT members.
[B]
---
BABE: The name of {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {TWO PLACES}. In the
liner notes for the "Two Places" CD, Phil Austin writes:
It has often been correctly note that the progress of Babe is linked
with that of Odysseus, the hero of Homer's Epic poem, "The Odyssey".
Although HCYB does not literally follow the form of "The Odyssey",
there are several key meetings between the two stories and certainly,
like Joyce's "Ulysses", HCYB derives much inspiration from the age-old
story of a man trying to return home. Odysseus (Ulysses) finds himself
imprisoned, bound by the spell of the witch Calypso, when his outrages
against the gods are forgiven and he is allowed to return home. All
we will see of this on HCYB is Babe running across a street, nearly to
be killed, and entering the emporium of one {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, who
may or may not be the god Hermes, sent to sell Babe the instrument of
his homecoming. (Some see HCYB as the musings of Ralph, that Ralph is
the storyteller and Babe portrays him as a young man. Well...)
BALCONY: Whatever it is, Louise Wong's got one you can do {SHAKESPEARE}
from!
BARNEY: Barney is a {BOZO}. The new "Bozo" CD gives a definition:
"Barny or Barney: In the English circus, a fight. The closest
American equivalent is {CLEM}."
BBOP: Not Bee-bop, but the FT's "Big Book of Plays".
BEAR WHIZ BEER: A popular beverage in FT plays, heard in both
{EYKIW} and in {YOLKS}. "It's in the water! that's why it's yellow!"
Currently a company in Colorado has appropriated the Logo for tee-shirts
and posters [and the editor spotted a *Neon* sign of BWB in Manitou
Springs during a recent vacation!].
BWB has entered the mainstream (sorry) of american culture:
mathias thallmayer writes:
I was looking at the current issue of the Narrow Gauge and
Shortline Gazette (a magazine devoted to modeling narrow
gauge railroads, for you fireheads) and what should I see: a
review of a 1:22.5 scale Bear Wizz Beer Refigerator car
(based on the bachman mechanism). The logo looks pretty
good: a bear standing human style, back to us but looking over
his shoulder, er, er... I'd always pictured him with a rear
leg raised, but close enough.... The reviewer (Bob Brown)
said it was pretty colorful. It comes from the "Feather River
Canyon Loco Works" in Pagosa Springs, CO.
A recent entry from the Los Angeles Times, June 30, 1994, page E-2:
The FDA alleges that the tobacco industry has been secretly
adding twice the amount of nicotine to cigarettes to make them
more addictive. "In a related story, Kraft has admitted that
they've been adding twice as much whiz to their jars of cheese."
--Morning Sickness, Premiere Radio Network
Cheese Whiz Beer?
BEDDOES: Dr. Beddoes, head of Dr. Beddoes Pneumatic Institute,
which in real life was a 19th century operation dedicated to
experimenting with nitrous oxide (laughing gas). See
{TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, {FUDD'S LAW}.
BERGMAN: Peter Bergman, one of the FT members. See also {LOVE IN}.
BOB BUNNY: A fifteen year-old kid, who is the side-kick of {MARK TIME}
of the Circum-Solar Federation. He is also a fan of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor
Detective, and asks him the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question, which he found
carved on the Great Wall of Mars.
BOTTLES: {MUDHEAD}'s crazy hopped-up girlfriend, in Porgie {TIREBITER}
movies. She is played by Barbara Bobo. Her name is likely a
play on the word "Jugs".
BOZO: See {BOZOS}.
BOZOS: A Bozo likes to {CLONE} and be with other Bozos. One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. Honk! Honk! See also
{BEANERS}, {BOOGIES}, {ZIPS} and {BERZERKERS}. Featured in the FT
play,"I Think Were All Bozos's on this Bus". The FT gives the following
definition:
"BOZO: A man, fellow, guy; esp. a large, rough man or one with more
brawn than brains. 1934: "Drive the heap, bozo" -- Chandler,
_Finger Man_. From Sp. dial. "boso" (from "vosotros") - you (pl.)
which resembles a direct address."
--Dictionary of American Slang by Wentworth and Flexner, 1960.
B.O.Z.O is also referred to as an acronym for the "Brotherhood Of {ZIPS}
and Others".
BEANERS: A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive
one, referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT.
BEATLES: A 60's Rock-and-Roll group. A few Beatles references:
In {NICK DANGER}:
Announcer: "Out of the Fog, into the smog"...
"There's a fog upon L.A. ..." (Blue Jay Way, Magical Mystery Tour)
Rocky Rococo: A play on "Rocky Raccoon"
Catherwood: says "Goo-goo-goo-joob" (ref: "I am the Walrus"),
and then says "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink"
(cf "I'm So Tired", from the "White Album"). His references
to {CELLOPHANE}, although a clear {SFX} device, could also
be the line "Cellophane flowers of yellow and green"
(cf "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" -- Sgt. Pepper).
Nick: says his story has more holes in it than the Albert Hall
(cf "A Day in the Life" -- Sgt. Pepper).
"It was {PIG NITE} at the {OM} mane padme Sigma House."
is a reference to the mantra: "Om mani padme hum" (note
the awful math pun: Sigma-->Sum-->Hum). This also possibly
a reference to "Piggies" on the White Album, although
some Fraternities actually used to have a Pig Nite, where
they would bring ugly women.
Nancy: "<long list of names>, but everyone knew her as Nancy"
is from "Rocky Raccoon" (White Album, again!):
Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy...
Also, her boyfriend's name is "Dan" in the Song
(Dan Catherwood):
Now she and her man who called himself Dan
Were in the next room at the hoe down
In {HEMLOCK STONES}, they sing "Get Back" at the end. Also, Stones
tells Flotsom to meet him in the Pub in disguise, and Flotsom asks
"In the pub in the skys?", which is a reference to "Lucy In the Skys,
with Diamonds,". This tune was denied by the Beatles to be an LSD
reference, and apparently is also tied to a John Fredd and the Playboy
Band tune called "Judy in Disguise, With Glasses". So, we have come
full circle.
In {HCYB}, one of the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} motors commercials begins,
"Don't we do it in the road here at Ralph's Spoilsport Motors..."
(cf "Why Dont We Do it In the Road" from the "White Album").
One of the kids in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (Returned for Regrooving)
was named "Malcom X.John Lennon"
In the "Dear Friends" album, one of the skits ends with a politician
singing, "Those Moscow girls really knock me out" (a mis-quote from
"Back in the USSR" -- the girls were Ukrainian).
BERZERKER: See {BERZERKERS}.
BERZERKERS: One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT.
BMJB: The FT's "Big Mystery Joke Book", containing the transcripts
of {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran Rat play, {NICK DANGER}'s "Cut 'Em Off
at the Past" play, "Temporarily Humboldt County", "{MARK TIME}" from
the "Dear Friends" album, "{YOUNG GUY}", motor detective, and others.
BOOGIES:A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive one,
referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT.
BRADSHAW: Lieutenant Alvin Bradshaw, in the FT police forces. Loosely
based on the Officer Bradshaw from the old Highway Patrol episodes,
Bradshaw is constantly pestering the private investigators
{NICK DANGER} and his Javanese counterpart {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective.
{YOUNG GUY} once discovered that "BRAD" stands for "Bernard",
indicating that Bradshaw is actually "George Bernard Shaw, famous
author and riterary smart-guy". Bradshaw is played by the fictional
character Harry Ames, Jr.
BUNCHE: Ralph Bunche, was a black American official of the United
Nations who won the 1950 Nobel Peace Prize for his mediation of the
1948-49 Arab-Israeli War. Rumored in {DWARF} to have been the
honorary Aquarium parent (along with Ida Lupino) of the first
man-made baby Adam one-three.
BUS: What I think We're all {BOZO}'s on. The "Bozo" CD liner notes
quote the following definition:
"BUS: A circuit in a mixing board which carries signals from one
or more inputs to any output or set of outputs."
The {PRESIDENT} is referred to as the "Terminal Bus -- the output".
[C]
---
CELLOPHANE: An {SFX} tool, used to simulate fire on radio. In
{NICK DANGER}, Catherwood asks if he Nick wants to pull his "cues" out
of the cellophane before they scorch. See also {CORNSTARCH}. In the
Fall 93 Reunion tour update, Catherwood asks Nick to pull his cues out
of the "bubble wrap".
CHEESE: Many types of CHEESE appear in FT skits: {GORGONZOLA} the
Cheese-monster, Cheese-Logs, Cheese-Log-Throws, not to mention {RAT}S.
On the album cover of {ITNWYOYO}, on the wall (below the billboards for
'Dead Cat Soap" and "Billy Jack Dogfood") there are signs for 'Bowel
{OIL}' and'{SWELL} Cheese'. See also {PIZZA}.
CHING: See {I CHING}.
CHROMIUM: It's just this little CHROMIUM switch, here! The first lines
of {DWARF}.
CLEM: The {EVERYMAN} of the FT play {BOZOS}. Also known as "UhClem" to
the main computer in the {FUTURE FAIR}. The liner notes for "Bozos"
quotes the following definition from "The Language of American Popular
Entertainment":
"Clem: Its most common meaning is that of a general fight or riot
between town hoodlums who attack shows and the circus or carnival
employees. As an interjection, clem has replaces 'hey rube' as a
battle cry for a forthcoming fight.
In this case, Clem attacks the Future Fair main computer by inserting
a gypsy program to confuse {DOCTOR MEMORY}, bringing the whole operation
down. The FT in later skits apparently developed Clems motivation
and story as follows (David {OSSMAN} writes):
"Clem, a shoeless computer programmer for the Fair, was fired after
he re-programmed the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} Speedway ride to 'Smoke Dope'
ie, slow down, free-associate, play. He has now re-entered the Fair
and broken into the maintenance circuits of {DOCTOR MEMORY} in order
to re-program it to 'forget the past'. As on the album, he succeeds
in confusing the good Dr. into contradictory on/off instructions
which sabotage the machine and destroy the fantastic illusions we
had taken for Reality.
CLONE: To either replicate yourself into a {HOLOGRAM}, or to act like
all the other {BOZO}S.
CONFIDENCE IN THE SYSTEM: A timely drug. Here's an advertisement
for it by the FT on Ben Bland's All Day Matinee on the "Just Folks"
album.:
You know, this is the midst of the disillusionment and heartbreak season
and,with the recent outbreak of that suicidal strain of despair up in
Boston,well, you'd better keep a close watch on your emotions. So
remember the seven danger signals of depression; that's a general and
lasting feeling of hope-lessness, inability to concentrate, loss of
self-esteem, fear of rejection, feelings of guilt, misdirected anger,
and extreme dependency on others. At the first sign of these symptoms,
friends, follow these simple rules: keep working, drink as much as
possible, and... take your television's advice. And y'know more TV's
recommend an amazing new psychic breakthrough than any other, and
that's... Confidence in the System. Fast, safe, and guaranteed through
constant Federal control, Confidence in the System will keep THEM in
power longer, longer, longer, and tend to calm and obscure the miseries
of disillusionment and despair. In easy-to-swallow Propaganda form or
new fast-acting Thought Control, that's Confidence in the System. So
have some... today.
CORNSTARCH: Used to simulate snow in {NICK DANGER}. Catherwood asks
Nick to come in out of the Cornstarch and dry his mucklucks by the
fire. Cornstarch is a prop widely used by foley artists (a/k/a "Sound
Effects Guys" -- "thanks Rocky!") to simulate walking through snow. You
don't walk in it. You leave it in its handy box. Squeezing and
massaging the box near a mike gives that squeaky sound, not unlike
walking on packed snow on a cold day. It also expels a fine dusting of
cornstarch, which settles nicely onto scripts, mikes, tape reels, etc.
Experienced foley artists leave the cornstarch box inside a plastic bag.
See also {CELLOPHANE}.
CUNEGONDE: As in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (The 38th Cunegonde).
This is referred to in {DWARF}, and is the title of another FT piece.
Cunegonde has generated quite a discussion amongst the FT irregulars...
A number of fans noted that Cunegonde is the daughter of the Baron
Thunder-ten-tronckh, a central character in Voltaire's "Candide".
Jeff Bulf notes the use of this name elsewhere in the arts:
Cunegonde and its variants in other languages seems to be a standard
name for what we would now call "bimbo" characters in European film.
And presumably in stage before that. I cannot remember the title of a
black-and-white scandinavian movie with tease/tart named Kunigunda.
I saw it when I was in high school anyway, which puts it before the
first Firesign performances. (Was it a {BERGMAN}? Doesn't sound like
his sort of character.)
The name seems to be used as if it were a month; several fans have tried
to link it with the French Revolution and its renaming of the calendar
months; E.g., July became "Thermidor" -- best recalled by the
"Thermidorean reaction" that followed some brutality as the revolution
took its course.
As for the origin of the name Cunegonde, Evan M Corcoran was kind enough
to track this down with the help of his brother in France:
...Here's what he came up with, from the five volume Grand Larousse
dictionary, translated free for your personal libation:
Cunegonde - (saint), Germanic imperatrice (v. 978 - abbey of
Kaufungen, Hesse, 1033 or 1040 [I'm not exactly sure what this means,
I'll ask my brother]) Spouse of Henri II the Saint, canonised in 1200.
later he has continued:
One more historical note: I checked out Sainte Cunegonde, and as far
as I could determine, she is not the patroness of anything. There is
ANOTHER Sainte Cunegonde who is patroness of Poland and Lithuania,
but she's not the one parodied in Candide. Or is she... Both
Cunegondes are also spelled Kunigonda in some places. And St. Vitus
is the patron of comedians.
So, Cunegonde might be saint of something (perhaps, Cows?)
CURFEW: Gezundheit! Offers are usually not good after curfew in
sectors R or N, and you should never go into forbidden sectors
after curfew (see {DWARF}). In the TV comedy "Space Ghost - Coast
To Coast" there was a parody of a children's advertisement with
the fine-print disclaimer:
Produced by the Cogswell Cogs Co. Offer not good after curfew in
sectors R or N.
Niles D. Ritter
Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lexicon/part2
Last-modified: 1994/8/30
Version: 2.0
Side 4) The Firesign Theatre: Lexicon and Concordance File(2/4)
===============================================================
[D]
---
DCTDHMTP: Don't Crush That {DWARF}, Hand Me the Pliers!.
DOCTOR MEMORY: The big computer that runs everything in the
{FUTURE FAIR}, described in the FT's {BOZO} play. The Doctor was also
mentioned in a poem on the "Dear Friends" album. He is based on an old
SAILON LISP program written for the PDP-10 running the TOPS-10 operating
system.
AhClem repeatedly calls Dr. Memory "Mac" - which far predates the
current Apple computer line; but the MIT AI lab, where the Doctor
program originated, grew out of Project Mac (for Machine Aided
Cognition and/or Multiple Access Computer)
DWARF: "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers": An FT play about
the life of the {EVERYMAN} George {TIREBITER}. The title appears to be
a marijuana reference. "Dwarf" is slang for a marijuana cigarette
which has been almost completely consumed (ie, "roach") and the
"pliers" are pliers or any other device which can be used to hold the
dwarf by the very end in order to consume the rest of the cigarette
("roach clip"). Hence, "don't crush that nearly-consumed marijuana
cigarette, hand me a pair of pliers (so that I can smoke the rest)."
This could also be tied in to Hal Roach, the famous producer of old
silent comedies, who only recently died at the age of 100+. He is given
a brief mention at the end of "Dwarf", when {TIREBITER}'S secretary
indicates that Mr. Roach had left a message, along with Laurel & Hardy,
Harpo Marx ("Honk! Honk!- he would leave his name..") The FT sometimes
refer to a "Hot Roach Studios", which they presumably ran.
The liner notes for the "Dwarf" CD mentions that the original title
for Dwarf was "We'll be Heironymus Bosch in Jest a Minute, but Faust..."
indicating connections between the play and the man who "sold out" to
the devil, as well as the nature of interruptions as a part of life.
{ROCKY ROCOCO}, the nemesis of {NICK DANGER}, is a dwarf:
CATHER: "Nancy, who's that ugly dwarf with his hand in your mouth?"
ROCKY: "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"
There were also dwarf maples at the {SAME OLD PLACE}.
See also {WORDSWORTH} for a poetic reference.
[E]
---
EAT FLAMING DEATH: From the Jargon Lexicon of the Hacker's
Dictionary:
eat flaming death: imp. A construction popularized among hackers by
the infamous CPU Wars comic; supposed to derive from a famously
turgid line in a WWII-era anti-Nazi propaganda comic that ran
"Eat flaming death, non-Aryan mongrels!" or something of the sort
(however, it is also reported that the Firesign Theater's
1975 album "In The Next World, You're On Your Own" included the
phrase "Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs"; this may have been
an influence). Used in humorously overblown expressions of
hostility. "Eat flaming death, EBCDIC users!"
EGGS: Let's just call them, the "{PHENOMENA}". {PORRIDGE BIRD}s lay
their eggs in the air. Maybe its because there are aliens in them!
ELECTRICIAN: "Waiting for the Electrician, or Someone like
Him". Another FT play, featured on the album of the same name. The
first of the cycle of plays following the life of {EVERYMAN},named
P, in this case (a tribute to Kafka's "K").
The Electrician was also a mysterious character that appeared in the
{HEMLOCK STONES} play "The Giant Rat of Sumatra", and pursued the great
{ZEPELLIN TUBE} that was stolen by Jonas ACME. Little did Jonas
realize that the Electrician was in fact, his own ward and heir,
young Frank Acne, Jr.!
The "Electrician" seems to be derived from a dream Peter {BERGMAN}
accounted from the Christmas Broadcast, KPFK Radio Free Oz, in 1967.
He had a dream of the electrician coming to pull the plug on the
world, making everyone live real close together. And so we are
all now "waiting for the electrician" (or someone like him),
very Samuel Beckett-like (Waiting for Godot).
See also {HUMBOLT}.
ERSATZ: As in "Ersatz Broth Coffee (The Real One!)", as advertised
on {DWARF}. "Ersatz" means "substitute" or "synthetic". John V. Scialli
notes:
Some clarity is needed. The Coffee is Ersatz Brothers' Coffee.The
real one. This is not just (really) a play on the words ersatz and
real. Rather, Dan, during World War II coffee was rationed and ground
chickory was used as a substitute. This was known by a clear
descriptor "ersatz coffee."
Not to mention spanish fly!
EVERYMAN: A useful term to describe the often nameless heroes of the
FT plays. The FT's {BBOP} book describes how the hero transmutes from
one play into the next(summarized here):
"Waiting for the {ELECTRICIAN} or Someone like Him": The{EVERYMAN} is
named "P" (after Phil, and in homage to Kafka's K).The play ends with
"P" escaping from the country Enroute...
...and winding up on Ventura Blvd, in the process of buying a new car.
{EVERYMAN}'s name is now Babe, and his story is told in "How Can You Be
in {TWO PLACES} At Once, when you're not Anywhere At All". Babe drifts
through many adventures, and with the help of {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, falls
asleep to a hemp-laced version of James Joyce's Molly Bloom soliloquy
from Ulysses...
( as a side trip, Babe and {NICK DANGER} are literally flip-sides of
each other: "Wait a minute; didn't I say that on the other side of
this record?" THAT's how you can be in two places at once!)
...and wakes up at 4AM, now named George Leroy {TIREBITER}! His story
is now told by the {DWARF} play, as the {EVERYMAN} sees his life played
out on various channels of the television, where he is, by turns, an
old movie director, a political candidate,a child star, a high-school
kid, an adult actor, an Army Officer,and a quiz-show MC. Eventually, he
"sells out", wakes up from the TV world, regains his youth, and runs
out to get an ice-cream bar from the truck...
...Hunger satisfied, and with nothing else to do on a beautiful Fall
morning, George-now transmogrified into a young man named {CLEM} -- is
amused and intrigued by the arrival of the {FUTURE FAIR} Tour Bus, as
described in the {BOZO}S play (note that when Barney,the {BOZO},
reminds Clem to inflate his {SHOES},Clem replies that he no longer wears
shoes -- as Porgie {TIREBITER} in {DWARF} did).As he wanders through
the Fair, he asks both the {PRESIDENT}and{DOCTOR MEMORY} a question
about the {PORRIDGE BIRD},which brings down the whole show. The fair and
all its creations vanish, leaving only the fireworks of the departure.
And now, the story changes,and the Future is Past, (coming full circle
?) ...
EYKIW: Everything You Know Is Wrong! An FT play satirizing {SEEKER}S.
[F]
---
FALL OVER: A common phrase occurring throughout FT plays is "(s)He's
no fun, (s)he fell right over". This is tied indirectly to {FUDD'S LAW}:
If you push something hard enough it will fall over. {NANCY} is a
real push-over. See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT} and {BOZO}.
Lots of people fall over in FT plays, presumably in obedience to
{FUDD'S LAW}. Among them, {BABE} in the {TWO PLACES} play,{NANCY} fell
over in
an episode of {NICK DANGER}, Third-eye,and Edmund's Nuncle fell over in
the play "Waiting for the Count of Monte Cristo (or someone like Him,"
in the {NOT INSANE} album ("What,what,Dead drunk ... NAY DEAD!").
The Nick Danger reference is particularly dizzying, as the following
transcript shows:
NANCY: [DIZZY] The whole world is spinning!
NICK: That's lucky for us! If it were flat, all the Chinese would
fall off!
[SOUND OF NANCY FALLING]
NICK: She's no fun, she fell right over. Wait a minute...didn't I
say that on the other side of the record. Where am I? I better
check...
[PORTION OF OTHER SIDE OF RECORD PLAYED BACKWARDS]
NICK: Oh, it's OK, they're speaking Chinese..
-- Note: the "Chinese" are on the other side of a *flat* vinyl record,
which is spinning!
This phrase was quoted recently by the character Dr. Venckman on the
cartoon version of "The Real Ghostbusters", in the episode titled,
'My Uncle Harold'.
In {BOZO} we hear, "Animals without backbones hid from each other,
or fell down."
FIREHEAD: A Firesign-Theatre Fan.
FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN: {BOZO}S, {BOOGIES}, {BEANERS}, {ZIPS} and
{BERZERKERS}. The FT's {BBOP} book describes them all as follows:
<pre>
The five lifestyles of man in the future are, starting from top to
bottom, though it's circular:
First the {BERZERKER}. Clue to a Berserker: Anybody who's got a
gun.Anybody in a lime-green car with eight-foot tires, called Demon or
Barracuda. Any Army officer, anybody in uniform. A Bobby is not a
Berserker. But maybe he is because he carries his job, his badge. Most
people who have jobs. There's a Berserker aspect to all of us. You can
play softball with a Berserker. A Berserker doesn't always have to
kill, but in the back of his mind, it's not a bad idea.
Under the Berserkers are the {ZIPS}. The archetypal Zip is the 1930's
guy with the thin moustache. Zips have always been concerned with hair.
We're exhibiting Zip tendencies in having rather fancily cut
moustaches. We're all prone to these various aspects. There's a Zip in
everyone's kip, is the World War One English expression. Zips love new
products. Zips are often found inside new headphones. They've got zip,
pep. Zzzzzip! Zip me up! Most actors are Zips. There's a category
called Hip Zip, which David invented yesterday.
B.O.Z.O. is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who
band together for fun and profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes
on a tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a
Bozo on the other side. It comes from the phrase *vosotros*, meaning
others. They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish
drunk clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William
Bendix. Everybody tends to drift towards Bozoness. It has Oz in it.
They mean well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable
shoes. They like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their
free time, which is all the time.
(###"*vos otros*" is a multilevel pun on the spanish noun, *bosotros*,
meaning clowns, "the 'b' and the 'v' being the same" -- ed.)
Now, the {BOOGIES}. You see a bunch of Boogies around you. That's our
lifestyle. There are more spades in this class than any other. But the
world is changing. There are now getting to be a lot of spade Zips. And
spade Bozos. Boogies don't differentiate between grass and alcohol.
People who work in post offices are generally Boogies. They take it
easy. They don't Zip. They're not Bozos because they don't clone. They
boogie around rather than hanging around one another. They Boogie.
The other class is the {BEANERS}. The Beaners live outside the Law of
Gravity. They have more color television sets than anybody in the
world. They're always appearing either on or with you color TV. They
watch themselves on color TV. Beaners are very concerned with their own
refuse, which they leave piled up around their house, but always in
use. They're always going to use it. Hundreds of old pickup trucks. All
Indians are Beaners. They don't care. Why should they? Beaners can't
tell lies. They fear no one. "Don't point your finger at me Daddy-o, I
cut it off!" Pico and Alvarado are Beaners. We love the Beaners.
Most youth is Bozo-like now [early 70's]. That's why people get so
upset when Berzerkers come into a Bozo gathering. 'Cause Bozos never do
anything to anybody. Bozos keep having rock festivals. They create
marijuana free-areas. Grass has moved into Bozodom.
The Berserkers and Zips run things now. Why does a Zip pay taxes?
Because he likes to fill out the forms. Berserkers run things by
telling you the Beaners are going to get you. Those desperate Beaners
may strike at any time! All politicians are Berserkers.
</pre>
Update for the 90's:
During the late 70's the youth began drifting into {ZIP}ness, with the
disco-era, and the general populace, in definite {BERZERKER} mode,began
the Reagan years....
The use by former {PRESIDENT} George Bush, referring to some other
politicians as "Bozos" may not have been influenced by the FT, but it
might as well have been. Bush himself, like most politicians,was a
{BERZERKER}.
Clinton has been showing definite {BOZO} tendencies in the way that he
{CLONES}, {BOOGIE}ness with his non-inhaling experiments,{ZIP}ness with
Cristophe, but to date only a few {BERZERKER} tendencies...
But remember: it's all cyclical!
FLOTSAM JETSAM: The sidekick of {HEMLOCK STONES}.
FOLEY: Sound Effects Techniques. See {SFX}.
FOOD: Let's Eat! Here are just some of the many foodstuffs
discussed in Firesign Theatre lore:
Nick's Swell {PIZZA} with no {ANCHOVIES}
A mighty {HOT DOG} is our lord!
{RAT} IN A BOX (Mouse on a stick Yum!)
Silverberg won't go over Pork Chop Hill
HAMBURGER All over the highway in Mystic Conn.
Louie's Wipe Out Pumice Hamburgers
GROAT CAKES (Heavy on the 30-weight Mom!)
GROAT CLUSTERS
{CHEESE LOGS}
{CORN} ! Now we can make tortillas/whisky !
{OIL BEER} - used in {MOTOR FLUID GIMLET}s
{EGGS} Let's just call them, the "{PHENOMENA}".
{BEAR-WHIZ BEER}
{BLUE MOSS} Now you too can be an alien!
{RAT IN A BOX} Guts in a Cup! (Yum!) Mouse on a Stick (Wow!)
French-Fried Fleas and Beer-battered Ticks
Squirrel Squares from Road-Ready Flatsnax
{LOOSTNERS} Caster-oil flakes
{NASI GOERING}
{OCTOBER BLIND} The Duck-flavored coffee!
{ERSATZ BROTHERS COFFEE} The real one!
{PICKLES}
{CRACKERBACK JOX}
More {SUGAR} !
Arnie's Whole Beef Halves (We deliver everywhere):
Admirable Bird's Deep Fried Chicken Fingers
Mrs. Smith's Deep Disk Sheep Dip Cherry Stone Pies
How about some of that old Phillipino Creamy
(coming in shorts & quarts)?
Tubs of Slaw (sorry only one tub per family)
Ma Rainie's MOLESKIN COOKIES
Sleepy Joes at House of Bad Brains de Chicanos from Outer Space
Red beans and reds!
P.J. Probe wines - with Weal Meat Fwavor
Billy Jack Dog Food ("Us old folks like it, too!")
CLAM CAKES, unless they get too damp.
The nicest PECARRY PIE in all of Lompoc.
"Beans...last of the Beans."
"I'm so sick of Chinese Food!"
EDIBLE STEERING COLUMNS
Pignuts
Oil Beer
Coke ("I understand it comes in bottles in this country.")
Uncle Siggy's Peruvian Cocoa Powder
One fancy ale ("comin' up......he forgot the glass!")
A taste of fabulous YUCATAN BLUE.
Laughing Cow Cheese
Maraschino Cherries
Mescaline
What about the varied menu at Vince Ptomaine's Leg of
the Crow Restaurant?
And who can forget the bite-sized individually
wrapped portions of genuine meat, as advertised
by Kim Clock?
FOUR OR FIVE CRAZY GUYS: The Firesign Theatre.
FUDD'S LAW: "If You Push Something Hard Enough, It Will {FALL OVER}".
A Law Enunciated by the FT in the {WALL OF SCIENCE} segment of
{ITWABOTB}. The full name is "Fudd's First Law of Opposition", and
was enunciated by Sir Sidney Fudd.
Here are some other FT Rules, with references:
1. If you give the people a light, they'll follow it anywhere. {POOP}
2. If you push something hard enough, it'll fall over. {ITWABOTB}
3. If you dig a deep enough hole, everybody'll want to jump into it.
{EYKIW}.
See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, and {FALL OVER}.
FT: The Firesign Theatre.
FUTURE FAIRE: See {FUTURE FAIR}.
FUTURE FAIR: From {BOZOS} -- The FUTURE FAIR was an amusement park
which looked fondly back to the future. (The movie title "Back to the
Future" may have been influence by this). "A fair for all and no fare
for anybody!" The motivations for this fair are numerous: the 1933
Chicago Worlds Fair, with its "Hall of Science" (see {WALL OF SCIENCE}),
and the 1939 World of Tomorrow Worlds Fair in New York, with its
"Futurama" display.
FTAEBGB: (Faster,Further) Than Anyone's Ever Been Gone Before!
Lots of people are always breaking the limits in FT plays.
In {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran {RAT} episode, after installing the
{ZEPPELIN TUBE} into their yacht, Violet Dudley, says, "Whoo! that's
faster than anyone's ever been gone before!
For example, in {NICK DANGER}, "Cut 'Em Off At the Past" episode, we
hear:
CATHERWOOD: "I'll be gone for thousand years!"
NANCY: "Gee, that's longer than anyone's ever been gone before."
CATHERWOOD: "But to you it will seem only a moment. Very well,
my dear: Forward Into The Past!" <fading>
NANCY: "I hope he gets back before all this dry ice melts."
[G]
---
GEORGE TIREBITER: See {TIREBITER}.
GOLDEN HINDE: A series hosted by Bob {HINDE}. "Welcome to the
wonderful world of Snails and adventure as we board the Golden Hinde".
Based upon a TV show from the '50's. A guy and his wife and family
would travel all over the world, and then show the home movies theytook,
with their narration. This has been quoted several times in {MST3K}.
The `Golden Hind' was the ship in which, in 1577-1580, Francis Drake
sailed around the world. Originally, the ship was named the `Pelican',
but while he was travelling, Drake changed the name in honor of
his patron, Sir Christopher Hatton. Hatton's crest was a golden
hind. (A "hind" is a sort of female deer, more specifically
a female three years or older; especially a female red deer.)
GOON SHOW: A British comedy show from the 50's which had great
influence on the Firesign Theatre. They were British surrealists
comprised of Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe (Peter
Bergman worked for a while with Spike Milligan while in England).
A number of FT terms are references to Goon Shows:
Michael Packer writes:
Two FT pieces payed tribute to the
Goons; "The Giant Rat Of Sumatra" an "By The Light Of The
Silvery...". George L. Tirebiter's voice was lifted
directly from a Goon Show character. One of the "Unclaimed
Melodies" (The Spanish Suitcase) is the title of a Goon
script. Lastly, the phrase "It's great to be alive in
1985", originally from the Goon Show entitled "1985",
appeared in altered form on P & B's "TV Or Not TV".
GORGONZOLA: A fearsome {CHEESE}-monster! Mentioned by {BRADSHAW} on a
{YOUNG GUY} Motor-Detective radio show, and elsewhere. See also
{CHEESE}.