{ASSD} Napalm (was - Celeste801 Strikes Back)

[Eli the Bearded]

Ghost Ex Machina <gh...@nym.alias.net> wrote:
> Mat wrote:
> > I'm not sure why, but Smurfs really annoy me.
> Damn straight!!!
>
> If ever there was a race of stupid little blue fuckers who were invented for
> the sole purpose of testing napalm on, it was them <grrrrr>

Now you've done it. This essay/story/whatever of mine has not seen light
of day for maybe two years.

> - Kim (was that merciless enough, Delta?)
>
> Really cheered up now <grin>.

Whatever became of the Smurfs, you ask...

In a dream state last night it came (no pun intended) to me
where DAP(tm) gets that blue goo they sell as Fun Tak(tm).
It is not a pretty picture I warn you.

First off they shot Gargamel and his stupid cat, too. Next
they used a sophistocated attack plan using the wind,
napalm, and tear gas to drive the Smurf villagers into a
trap.

The straped all the healthy males (ie, no Papa Smurf) into
specially constructed chairs in a large chamber. The chairs
include a small electrode which gets shoved up the smurf's
rectum and a minaturized breast pump from a milking machine,
which gets the blue thing's boner.

The original plan DAP(tm) had was to use anal shocks to
cause ejaculation, a technique employed by some sperm banks,
while also milking the "three apple high" males for all
their worth.

Then they hit upon the plan of getting Smurfette addicted to
crack, so that they could force her to striptease for the
strapping males, to keep the flaging flagpoles fom a flacid
state. She's pretty good at too, almost a limber as a
contortionist, and somewhat coy from her natural reluctance.
If she were human, I'd be first in line to line her g-string
with a dead president or two.

And here's where it gets ugly. DAP(tm) takes this collected
Smurfy Juice, adds some carageenan as a thickener and sells
it to you as Fun Tak(tm). Yes, that's right, you have stuck
things to your walls with the sperm of Smurfs. Your posters
have become discolored because Smurf semen held them to the
wall. That gooey blue stuff you played with using your bare
hands was produced in the hairless and wrinkle-free scrotum
of a prisoner Smurf.

I warned you it would be unpleasant, but the truth must be
known.

Elijah
------
you should hear about my weird dreams

[Kitty Kat]

Hey I didn't write it, but it forever changed the way I saw the little blue
creatures *grin*

It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.
You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and
ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and
good and bad times.

"But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"

The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!

And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.

What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the
reason
is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.

Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.

Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily
in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest
has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite
the weatherSmurf's direst predictions.

I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.

In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the
origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village
and warned all the Smurfs about AIDS. Papa Smurf knew that no one
made condoms small enough for a Smurf (even though everyone
knows that all male Smurfs are uniformly well-hung, for their
size), so he decreed that all Smurfs would only smuck one day a
year.

"Smucking one day a year will help us identify any diseases we may
transmit to one another, and keep them from spreading to the animals
in the forest," declaimed Papa Smurf. "Besides, it will give
Smurfette a chance to rest."

Yes! Smurfette must rest. For, as everyone knows, Smurfette is the
only female Smurf in the village, and after a full day of having
vigorous, rabid sex with two hundred cunt-crazed little blue men,
she needs a break.

So, on the appointed day, Papa Smurf bids everyone throw their
inhibitions to the wind and immerse themselves in debauchery.
And, as is his privilege, Papa Smurf throws out the first throe.

At his signal, Smurfette unties the skintight blue band she must
use to suppress her natural bustiness, and her astounding tits
spring forth into the daylight. The Sun gleams lecherously on
the smooth, blue flesh, nipples crinkling in the light of day from
her soon-to-be-unbridled lust.

Then Smurfette shimmies out of her skirt and stands before the crowd,
naked as the day she was born, save the spike-heeled white boots she
has donned just for the occasion. Her long, blonde hair cascades
down her back and lasciviously outlines her buttocks, clinging like
a dirty old man's gaze to each curve and dimple.

Her cunt winks lewdly from behind the golden shield of pubic glory,
already glistening in mad anticipation of each and every raging
rod it would receive that day. And receive them gladly it would,
for hers is the indefatigable furburger, and she hungered for the
sauce blended in the heat of passion.

Smurfette turns to Papa Smurf and lifts her stupendous breasts
with their turgid nipples to his lips. He takes each one, in
turn, into his mouth, where his tongue dances the Fabulous Fandango
around the areolae, as Smurfette moans like a cat in heat.

Then, when poor Smurfette can take no more, Papa Smurf drops to
his bony little knees and sprinkles his magic deSmurfilating
dust on Smurfette's engorged cunt lips. Presto! The lovely
blonde braiding material falls from her, leaving her shaved smooth
as a hard-boiled egg.

"Oh, Papa Smurf!" she cries. "Encore!! Encore!!", as she writhes
in anticipation of the Fabulous Furless Fandango danced 'round her
pulsating pussy.

Papa Smurf does not disappoint the damsel in distress; he slides
his hands under her tight little blue ass and parts her moistness
with his thumbs. As the hot, funky juices begin to run down his
arms, he plunges tongue-first and tonsil-deep into her wiggling
womanhood. Smurfette gasps as the talented tongue begins to do
its magic, and her cunt clutches at it like a baby bird after a
worm.

Cradling his head to her crotch, Smurfette's hips begin to slowly
grind and twitch, for Papa Smurf's tongue has unerringly found her
S-spot, and Smurfette begins the slow, hot, agonizing rise to
ecstasy. "Oh, make me smurf, baby, make me smurf!", she pants,
each stroke of his tongue causing her to throb and clutch.

As Smurfette's moans and cries rise in pitch higher and higher,
the crowd gazes in amazement at the mighty mound of meat struggling
to escape from Papa Smurf's pants. This, then, is the legendary
Trouser Titan, bulging forth in a determined attempt to split
the barrier.

Just when Smurfette is certain that she will die from sheer
sensory overload, Papa Smurf flings off his Levis and frees
the Magnificent Heat-Seeking Moisture Missle from its cradle.
Maddened with blind lust, Smurfette hurls Papa Smurf to the
platform and leaps shrieking into the air, landing unerringly
on his Titanic Totem.

Suddenly filled, Smurfette's cunt explodes in a monster orgasm,
the force of which propels her screaming into the air again and
again, each time plummeting her onto the Potent Purple Pecker and
triggering another climax.

Before Smurfette can achieve orbit, Papa Smurf grab her legs and
pulls her to the ground. Swiftly, he stands, pulling her to her
knees. Gasping in awe, Smurfette gets a head-on view of his
hard-on, glistening in the light like a war staff.

The sight of this shining stud is too much for Smurfette, who
immediately grabs both of Papa smurf's bulging balls in her hands
and pulls him to her waiting mouth. With preternatural skill and
primeval hunger, Smurfette devours the monster cock, licking and
sucking like a starving child with an ice cream cone.

His ass knotting like a sailor's anchor rope, Papa Smurf pounds
into Smurfette's mouth with furious strokes. As he reaches his
blazing climax, he forces Smurfette to take all thirteen and 7/8ths
inches of blue tube steak and fires round after pulsing round
of blue goo down her ravenous throat.

"Hurray!!", shouts the crowd. "Now it's OUR turn!!"

Suddenly the town square erupts with scenes of azure carnality,
as 200 tiny blue asses appear in the sunlight. 200 raging
cocks swarm toward Smurfette's waiting and ever-willing cunt,
ready to make her scream for mercy as they scream for more. 400
bouncing balls follow each other toward the nearest available
orifice, making Smurfette wish there were more of her.

Those lucky enough to find access to Smurfette's fabulous form
begin their crazed humping, as others find their schlongs being
stroked as fast as she can grab. Those whose time will come later
are coming now, as their friends clutch lustily at their forbidden
fruits, flinging frothy fuck-foam far and wide.

Up the ass! Down the throat! Backhand, forehand, underhand, in
the armpit or behind the knee, the Smurfs erupt in a display of
orgasmic prowess to shame the most devoted student of the Kama
Sutra. Soon the street become hazardous to navigate (and navigate
one must), as the square gets deeper and deeper in the collective
come.

Hour after hour, the orgy rampages on.

Gradually, as night falls, the screams of orgasmic ecstasy turn
to the moans and sighs of deep contentment, with the occasional
whimper from an over-enthusiastic sodomite. Soon all is quiet,
as Smurf helps Smurf back to Home and Preparation H. Tubes of
Chap-Stick are quickly distributed to soothe aching lips, and
aloe gel is applied (as are lips, if it is too stimulating) to
the citizen's members to ease the burning.

As the exhausted (and completely sated) Smurfs lie in sexual
stupor, gentle rains come (not them, too!) to wash away all traces
of the fleshfest that was.

And you wondered why Smurfs are always in such a good mood...

[MC Woodsmoke]

In article <352A56F4...@hotmail.com>, Kitty Kat <kki...@hotmail.com> wrote:

<SNIP her story?

include this one
and you thought the flood of SPAMmers was bad???

0x0000AF53????????? Sun Dec 29 00:16:54 1996
Path: newsfeed.gte.net!super.zippo.com!zdc-
e!feed1.news.erols.com!worldnet.att.net!newsadm
From: mod...@tiac.net (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
Subject: Re: Please repost the "Fall of the Smurfs" Storey
Date: Sat, 28 Dec 1996 16:50:50 GMT
Organization: First Online Church of "Bob"
Lines: 715
Message-ID: <5a38ru$c...@mtinsc01-mgt.ops.worldnet.att.net>
References: <5a14uq$o...@camel2.mindspring.com> <5a37rd$cro@mtinsc01-
mgt.ops.worldnet.att.net>
Reply-To: mod...@sunspot.tiac.net
NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.116.128.168
X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.0.82
Status: N

To show that I'm not merely another stupid ad spammer when I mention the
Web site for the Church of the SubGenius, here's the story in question:

The Fall of the Smurfs

by John Saicawalo
[ Author was John Saicawalo ]
[ Posted on Wed, 19 Apr 1995 05:42:57 GMT ]

Here it is, the entire saga of "The Fall of the Smurfs", which includes
Parts 1 through 7. Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed the series. All I can
say is there is still more writing to be done (or should I say Smurfing), I
anticipate another four or five parts...I hope to write them as soon as
possible. Until then...enjoy the repost...and keep on Smurfing :)
John S.
The Fall of the Smurfs
I had hated Smurfs for the longest time. Their little blue forms annoyed me
so, and their high-pitched voices made me want to smash the TV.
So when I decided that I was going to take over their little village and
make the Smurfs pay for what they had d one, I was going to go prepared.
I bought an RV and outfitted it specially for the invasion. I anticipated
being gone for several months, so the RV was well stocked with food and
other supplies. As my main mission was to take over the Smurf village, I
carried with me a number of nets and Smurf traps, all designed to exacting
specifications, for the Smurfs were not stupid, and would avoid any
ordinary traps. I also had a "playroom" and a well-stocked laboratory,
where I would perform my experiments on my unwilling blue subjects. One
side of the RV was lined with cages, each of which could hold two Smurfs
comfortably.
I set out on the first day of spring. The Smurfs are most active in the
spring, when they run around smelling flowers and playing in the fields and
generally being nuisances. I drove all day until I reached the borders of
Smurfland. A little wooden gate, decorated with flowers and leaves, denoted
the entrance to that happy place. I got down from the RV and kicked it
over, smashing it with my foot. I then got my net and a heavy canvas bag
and went out, looking for signs of Smurf.
I found my first Smurf almost immediatley. He was looking at his reflection
in a puddle and whistling the Smurf's theme song. He was so stupid, he
never even noticed me coming up behind him. I got close enough and whipped
the net over his blue form.
"Hey, why'd you do that?"
"Shut up, you little blue creep", I walked up and looked down on him. He
stared up at me indignantly, putting his blue hands at his hips.
I knelt down, got my hand under the net, and ripped off that little white
diaper thing all of the Smurfs wear. There he was, naked as sin, his little
blue dick hanging out. His hands went down to cover himself, which I took
as an opportunity to give him a good sharp thunk on the nose. As is well
known, that will knock a Smurf out for about a minute. I took that o
pportunity to stuff him in the bag and carry him back to the RV. I put him
in the cage and put a padlock on it, since Smurfs are well known for their
escape abilities. I then went back out to continue the search.
Hunting was good. By the time night fell, I had captured five Smurfs. One
of them was the hated Handy Smurf, the others were just your average stupid
Smurf. I took Handy out of his cage, holding him firmly so that he didn't
squirm away.
"Hey stop that, you can't do that!"
"I can do whatever I want, you little prick", I popped him in a large glass
bottle that he couldn't climb out of. He was still naked, as were all the
other Smurfs, and he covered up his genitals with his hands again.
"So what's your name?"
"Handy Smurf."
"How old are you?"
"In Smurf years?"
"Yes."
"Twenty-three."
"Get your hands up."
"What?"
"Get your hands up, you blue bastard." I reached in and thumped him on the
head. His hands flew up to rub his head, which was when I grabbed them, put
them behind his back, and tied them with a twisty-tie.
His little blue dick was semi-hard, which I noted in my lab book.
"Why Handy Smurf, you have a hard-on", I said. He blushed a darker shade of
blue, but said nothing. His erection, though, grew even harder and longer,
which is to say about an inch long.
"So Handy Smurf, have you ever fucked Smurfette?"
"Have I ever done what?"
"Have you ever...smurfed her?"
"Gosh...we Smurfs would never do that!"
"Why not, Handy?"
"Because Papa Smurf would get very mad at us. No one has ever smurfed
Smurfette, its against the law."
"So...don't you want to do it though?"
He didn't answer, but he looked very uncertain. I had what I wanted though,
so I put him back in his cage. I took each Smurf out in turn, questioning
them the same way I had questioned Handy Smurf. All of them seemed shocked
when I suggested they could have their way with Smurfette, though they all
seemed interested in the idea. One Smurf, though, refused to answer any
questions. I named him Stubborn Smurf. He ran all around the bottle,
yelling, "Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" I got sick of this behavio r after
awhile, so I decided to teach the other Smurfs a lesson. I took Stubborn
out and put him in a small vacuum chamber that I had on a rolling cart in
the lab. The door had a large window, so the other Smurfs could look in. I
rolled it over so the other Smurfs could see inside and started evacuating
the air. I had a microphone inside the tank, so I could hear Stubborn
Smurf. I expected to hear his little screams, but all he kept saying was,
"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" He ran in circles, dashing hi mself against the
walls of the vacuum chamber. The other Smurfs yelled encouragment, but
Stubborn couldn't hear them. I was almost starting to think the Smurfs
could live in a vacuum, when I heard a loud pop, like a balloon. I looked
in and saw a thick blue liquid dripping down the window.
"What did you do with Stubborn?" yelled Handy, his nose pressed against the
bars.
"I killed him, Handy. Stubborn Smurf is dead...he's never coming back."
"But you can't kill a Smurf...that's not nice!"
"Shut up Handy, or you're next." I grabbed a glass of cold water and doused
him with it.
"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!"
"I could see he was scared. That was good, it was my first step towards
conquering the entire Smurf village. I went to my room, the cries of "Papa
Smurf, Papa Smurf" echoing in my ears.
II
The next day dawned clear and sunny. I got up, made a cup of coffee, and
went into the lab. All four Smurfs were asleep. I drew a cup of cold water
and threw it on Handy Smurf. He sputtered awake and said, "Who did that?"
"Me, you little ingrate." I ran the cup over the bars on the other cages,
waking up the other Smurfs. They woke up, joyous smiles on their little
blue faces.
"Are you going to let us go today?" they asked, their eyes bright with
promise and hope.
"No...none of you are ever going to go free. In fact, you'll probably be
working in a Smurf mine by the end of the spring."
"No we won't we won't let you, " they said in unison. Handy said, "We'll
tell Papa Smurf on you!"
"I'm going to kill Papa Smurf, in front of the entire Smurf village, Handy.
Then you can be the new leader of the Smurfs. How would you like that? And
then, I'll even let you smurf Smurfette." I could tell he was interested.
"No...I can't do that!"
"Why not Handy, I know you want to."
"No I don't!"
"Yes you do Handy...your little dick is getting hard again."
"No it isn't...leave me alone...or I'll tell Papa Smurf on you!" Handy
started sobbing. "Why won't you let us go...we want to go smell flowers,
play in the fields, gather nuts for the village." The others started
sobbing too.
"Stop sobbing, Handy, or I'll put another Smurf in the vacuum chamber."
"NO...don't kill another Smurf...they're my friends!"
"Someday Handy...you'll be killing them yourself, just to have a chance to
smurf Smurfette."
"No I won't...I never will and you can't make me!"
"Yes I can and I will, Handy. So now, I'm going to go and catch more
Smurfs." I left them sobbing and crying for Papa Smurf.
III
By the time the sun went down, I had caught three more Smurfs. One was
Brainy Smurf. I took away their clothes, of course, and I took away Brainy
Smurf's little horn-rimmed glasses and smashed them under my heel. I then
put Brainy in with Handy. Handy went over and hugged Brainy, which got them
another dousing with cold water. I wanted to start bringing them away from
their touchy-feely emotional state, break them down to the point where
they'd be fighting with each other. I then put five Smurfs in a cage, which
was barely large enough to hold them all.
I
rolled a TV/VCR in front of the cage and popped in a special tape. I had
taken some video of Smurfette a while back and digitally altered it so that
Smurfette was doing some really naughty thing s to herself. It started out
with her putting her little blue hand up her little skirt.
I
had also added some sound effects, so the caged Smurfs could clearly hear
Smurfette's moans of "Smurf me, oh please smurf me!" The five Smurfs in the
cage had hug e erections (for a Smurf) and were soon running their hands
over their erect shafts. When Smurfette started screaming, "I'm smurfing,
I'm smurfing!", all five of them exploded in unison, blue Smurf juice
spraying all over their hands and each other as they chanted loudly, "Smurf
me, smurf me." I picked out one of the five and threw him into the vacuum
chamber. Soon I heard the Smurf running around yelling for Papa Smurf,
pleading for Papa Smurf to come save him. I had no intention of killing
this Smurf though, not just yet, so I left him there the entire night,
isolated from his Smurf buddies. The other Smurfs started sobbing too,
especially when I turned out all of the lights (Smurfs hate the dark). It
had been another good day, but tomorrow was to begin my assault on the
Smurf village.
IV
I disdained subtlety, so in the morning I just started driving the RV right
over the Smurf's fields, running over their grains and strawberries and
blueberries and all of the Smurf's food supplies. A couple of times I
actually got to run over some Smurfs that didn't get out of the way in
time. Once, one Smurf managed to hang on to the fender for awhile, yelling
for Papa Smurf, but soon he went under the wheels as well. I heard the pop
as they rolled over his little blue head, the last cry of "Oh my Smurf"
sounding out over the roar of the engine. While I drove, the other Smurfs
were in the back watching the Smurfette tape over and over again. Their
little blue dicks were raw from so much beating off. Handy and Brainy were
trying to ignore it, but I knew it wouldn't be long before they succumbed
as well and started beating off to the video.
I stopped for lunch and went into the back of the RV. All of the Smurfs
except for Handy and Brainy were watching the tape, even the one in the
vacuum chamber was beating his little blue dick. I reached over and turned
off the VCR.
"Turn it back on, please please turn it back on!" they said in unison,
their blue cocks at half-staff.
"I'll turn it on if you'll do one thing for me, my Smurfs."
"What do you want us to do?" one of them said, his hand running absently
over his blue dick.
"I want you to kill the Smurf in the vacuum chamber there. Kill him, and
I'll give you a whole new Smurfette video to watch."
"No no we won't do it", they all said. But their cocks were saying yes. I
put a new tape in and started it up. This one showed Smurfette taking a
shower in the nude this time, soap bubbles covering her private parts as
she moaned for smurfing. Their cocks sprang to life and they started
beating off furiously, all together. I turned off the tape, reached in and
picked up the Smurf in the vacuum chamber and put him in the cage with the
other four. The four Smurfs had lust-crazed looks in their eyes.
"Kill him for me...and I'll let you watch the rest of the video."
The sight was incredible. All four Smurfs, their eyes glazed over from
twelve hours of continuous video watching, surrounded Bottle Smurf, as I
had come to call him. He yelled at the top of his lungs for Papa Smurf, but
no one could save him as they pr essed in closer. Suddenly all four Smurfs
closed in on Bottle and begin pummeling him with their little blue fists.
"Help me, Handy", he yelled, but Handy Smurf could do nothing but sob. I
noticed that the erections of all four Smurfs grew when they st arted in on
Bottle Smurf. When one of the Smurfs, possessed by lust for Smurfette, tore
Bottle Smurf's little tail off, showering the other three with Smurf vital
juices, he came explosively, setting off the other three Smurfs. The cage
was soon splatte red with Smurf juices of all kinds, as the four Smurfs in
their lust literally tore Bottle Smurf limb from limb. I heard a last cry
for Papa Smurf before all fell silent. I turned the TV back on and started
the tape back up, and was instantly rewarded b y the sounds of Smurfs
whacking off. I connected a hose to the sink and sprayed the cage off,
washing away the last remnants of Bottle Smurf. The other four Smurfs
didn't even notice, as they were engrossed by the sight of Smurfette
running bare-ass naked through a field of clover. Soon the chant
began..."Smurf me, smurf me...", as they watched with rapt attention. I
noticed Handy and Brainy were watching now as well (Brainy couldn't see
much, but it was enough), their hands absently stroking their ne ther
regions. Leaving them to their video, I picked up my net and bag and a 9 mm
Glock and went out the door of the RV.
I had parked the RV in the middle of a Smurf potato farm. Three Smurfs were
waiting about ten feet away. One had a rake, which was the first time I had
ever seen one carry something that could hurt me. The others didn't carry
anything. I decided I was going to be careful.
"Why did you park that in the middle of my farm, I was going to pick
potatoes today," the Smurf with the rake whined. I named him Farmer Smurf.
"Because I wanted to, Farmer Smurf."
"Well, you'd better leave or I'll tell Papa Smurf on you!"
"Fuck Papa Smurf!" I targeted the one to the right of Farmer Smurf and
fired. The bullet impacted him in the gut and passed through. Pieces of
Smurf flew through the air. "Help me Papa Smurf," were his last words as he
dropped to the ground face firs t, bouncing on his bulbous blue nose before
he was silenced forever.
"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" the other two yelled and started running back
towards the Smurf village. I started after them, my much longer stride
catching me up after only a few seconds. I slipped the net over Farmer
Smurf and bonked him on the nose, knocking him out. I let the other Smurf
get about twenty yards away. He thought I had given up, the idiot, and
started walking and whistling the Smurf's theme song. I fired.
The hollow point bullet smashed into the back of his head, and sent Smurf
brains (which are blue as well) about twenty feet out the front. He was one
dead Smurf. I took Farmer Smurf back to the RV and put him in with Handy
and Brainy. The other Smurfs were still watching the video and I noticed
that in the cage with the four Smurfs , one Smurf had gotten behind another
Smurf and was whacking that Smurf's dick off for him.
"So you all want to go out and smurf with Smurfette," I asked.
"Yes we do!" they all said in unison, except for Farmer and Handy.
"Good. Before I let you do that though, there's one thing I want you to do
for me, my Smurfs."
"What do you want, sir!" they all said.
"I want you to go out and bring me Papa Smurf...alive. If you do that, I'll
let you see another video, and then I'll let you all smurf Smurfette."
Handy Smurf had not said a word during all of this, but suddenly he got up
and went to the bars of his cage and said, "Don't do it, Smurfs...think of
the village, our Smurf homes!"
"It's too late, Handy, they've gone over."
"No, they haven't. All they need is love and affection and..."
"Sex, Handy. They need sex." I grabbed Farmer by his little blue tail and
dangled him above their cage. He struggled but it was no use.
"If you don't bring back Papa Smurf, this is what will happen to you."
I
opened the door to the microwave and threw Farmer in head first. "Ouch!"
he said, as he pressed his nose against the glass window in the door.
"Help me, Handy, help me!" I set the microwave on high and turned it on.
He pounded at the door with his little blue fists, crying for another Smurf
to save him, but no Smurf could. Handy and Brainy were sobbing, but the
other Smurfs had totally blank expressions on their little blue faces.
It only took about a minute. Suddenly, Farmer Smurf burst into flames, he
became a Smurf fireball! I opened the door and he leaped out, running in
circles, yelling, "Put me out, put me out Smurfs." He did this for about
thirty seconds before he let out a final cry of "Oh my Smurf!" and exploded
into a pile of dust and ash. I noted that in the lab book.
"Farmer!" Handy cried. "Why did you kill Farmer Smurf, he was my friend!"
"Because I wanted to, Handy."
"Why are you so mean to us? We never hurt you!"
"Because I want to be, Handy. In fact, I might kill all the Smurfs but you.
You'd be the only Smurf left in the whole world. You'd never see another
Smurf again, Handy. I'd keep you in a cage and make you watch videos of the
Smurfs playing and smelli ng flowers. Then I'd make you watch videos of the
luscious Smurfette. You'll never smurf her, Handy, unless you do what I
say."
"No...please don't hurt any more Smurfs!"
"Too late, Handy, you had your chance." I took Brainy Smurf out of Handy's
cage and put him in another one, isolating Handy Smurf. He rolled into a
ball and started sobbing, "Smurf me...oh Smurfs." Every other Smurf stared
blankly into space, waiting for my command.
"Ok Smurfs, I want you to do one thing for me. Bring Papa Smurf to
me...alive. Do that, my Smurfs, and I'll let you watch another Smurfette
video."
"Hooray!" they all said, eager to be at their task. They crowded at the
doors of their cages, ready to go and find Papa Smurf for me. I let out all
of the Smurfs except Handy and Brainy. Opening the door to the RV, they
trooped out, blank expressions on their faces, whistling the Smurf's theme
song. I had attached a small camera to the cap of one of the Smurfs, so I
was able to see what they were doing. I turned a monitor on to watch the
proceedings. The four Smurfs ran towards the village, still n aked, of
course. Several Smurfs were out and about and looked at the quartet as they
ran into the village. One Smurf ran towards the group, obviously
recognizing one of them, but they walked right past him.
He started running alongside. I had a microp hone mounted on the camera so
I could also hear what was going on.
"Builder Smurf, want to go smurfing on the lake tonight?" the newcomer
asked.
"Must get Papa Smurf", they all said together.
"But...but Papa Smurf's asleep, you can't go wake him up.!"
"Must get Papa Smurf so we can smurf Smurfette."
"Hey, we can't smurf with Smurfette, that's against the law."
I had also put a small speaker inside the ear of one of the
Smurfs. I picked up a microphone and said, "Kill that Smurf for me."
"Hey...what happened to your clothes, Papa Smurf is...no stay away...help
me help me Papaaa..."
The monitor showed my Smurfs attacking the other Smurf. I saw Builder Smurf
tear the other Smurf's little blue tail off, which prompted a new cry for
help, but none came, and soon the ground was covered with Smurf parts and
Smurf vital juices. My Smurf s started towards the house on the hill, the
house of Papa Smurf. They got to the gate and swarmed over. Papa Smurf was
already waiting, having heard the commotion outside.
"My Smurfs, what is wrong? Why aren't you wearing any clothes?"
"You must come with us, Papa Smurf."
"Where are we going?"
"We have to take you to our leader. Then we can smurf Smurfette."
"What...you know that's against the law, my Smurfs. And I'm your
leader...what's happened...hey, let go of me Smurfs!"
My Smurfs had hoisted Papa Smurf on their shoulders. He struggled, but he
was an old Smurf, and he was no match for four young Smurfs. They ran down
the hill and begin walking through the Smurf village. They had reached the
outskirts when a voice call ed out, "Where are you taking Papa Smurf?"
It was Smurfette. She had on a little blue dress with flowers.
The four Smurfs stopped and turned as one towards her.
"Smurfette, come with us while we take Papa Smurf to our leader.
Then we'll smurf you!" they all said.
"No!" She sounded terrified. "We can't smurf, you know that. Put Papa Smurf
down and I'll make you some tea and cookies."
I took hold of the microphone and said, "Bring Papa Smurf to me, now!"
"Must take Papa Smurf, " they said as one. "But we'll be back for you
later, Smurfette! We're going to smurf you all night long!" I didn't know
if she noticed, but each Smurf had an enormous erection. They jogged on
past carrying Papa Smurf while S murfette ran inside her little house and
closed the door. Not that it mattered, I could open it for my Smurfs if
they needed it.
It only took a few minutes before I heard some little knocks. It was my
Smurfs, and they carried with them the leader of the entire Smurf village,
Papa Smurf.
"Ah, Papa Smurf, so glad you could join us, " I said, picking him up.
"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf, you've come to rescue us," Handy Smurf said from
his cage. He got a dousing of cold water for that. He went into a corner
and started sobbing again.
"Let go of me, and all of my Smurfs."
"I don't think so, Papa Smurf." I opened one of the cages and threw him in.
"You see, I'm going to take over as the leader of the Smurfs. More like a
dictatorship, I guess. Anyway, all of the Smurfs will be mining gold for me
soon, Papa Smurf. You c an either continue to lead peacefully, or die in
front of all of your Smurfs. The choice is yours." Behind me, all four of
my Smurfs had gone back into their cage.
I popped in another tape. This time, it showed Smurfette being smurfed by a
3D-Studio g enerated Smurf. It was all fake, of course, but the sounds were
real enough for my Smurfs. All four were beating off together. Handy and
Brainy were watching as well, and I noticed their Smurf dicks were getting
hard too.
"Don't watch, my Smurfs, he's trying to brainwash you!" Papa Smurf said
loudly. That got him a first dousing with cold water. On the screen,
Smurfette was getting it from behind. "Ohhh, make me smurfffffffffffff!"
she screamed and this time every Smurf but Papa Smurf flooded his hand with
Smurf juice. Then Smurfette turned around and took her Smurf lover's tool
deep inside her mouth, slurping lustfully.
"Oh...suck on my smurf Smurfette," the voice came from the lover's
lips as
he thrust in and out of

Smurfette's mouth.
"And besides, Papa Smurf...if you don't cooperate, this is what will happen
to every Smurf." I grabbed Handy out of his cage and with one swift motion,
tore off his little blue tail. Smurf vital juices sprayed out as Handy let
out a yelp and begin call ing for Papa Smurf to save his miserable little
existence. I wasn't ready to get rid of Handy just yet, so I took a piece
of duct tape and slapped it over the place where his tail had once been,
and threw him in with Papa Smurf. Handy went over to Papa Smurf for a hug,
which quickly got both of them a cold-water dousing.
Handy started bawling like a baby when I wouldn't let him get his hug from
Papa Smurf, but I didn't care. He tried twice more, but each time he got a
glass of ice-cold water in the fa ce for his troubles.
"Pleaseee...I need a hugggg!" he cried, his little blue face buried in his
hands.
"Shut up Handy, or I'll throw your Papa Smurf in the vacuum chamber."
"Pleaseeee...Papa Smurffffffff!"
"Why won't you let me hug Handy Smurf...he's hurt," Papa Smurf cried. He
tried to get closer to Handy, who was rolled up in a corner sobbing his
eyes out, but all that got him was another glass of cold water on top of
Handy Smurf.
"Because I don't want you to hug anyone, Papa Smurf. No Smurf will ever hug
another Smurf again, unless it's like my friends in the cage there." I
pointed to the cage, where my Smurfs had formed a daisy-chain, each Smurf
whacking off the Smurf in front of him, all chanting, "Smurf me, smurf me."
"Please let me and all my Smurfs go...I'll give you all the gold in the
village," Papa Smurf said, tears starting to well up in his eyes.
I
think he was starting to see that I was no Gargomel.
"Shut up, Papa Smurf." I grabbed him and put him in a metal box. The box
only had two tiny airholes, so there was almost no light going inside. I
went to bed, Handy still sobbing as he sat in the corner of his cage, and
my Smurfs still beating each ot her off.
V
The next day I woke up and decided to teach Papa Smurf a lesson. I took
him out of the box and put him back in the cage with Handy, only this time
he didn't go over to try and give him a hug. Handy was fast asleep, so I
solved that by rattling my coffe e cup against the bars. He woke up, saw
where he was at, and started sobbing again. He was such a stupid Smurf. I
then grabbed Brainy out of his cage and placed him on the lab table,
telling him to stay put. After seeing what had happened to other Smu rfs
who had disobeyed me, he probably figured this was not the time nor the
place to stage an escape.
"You know, Papa Smurf...I've often wondered what would happen to a Smurf
exposed to very cold temperatures...after all, I don't think you get snow
in the Smurf village. Well, let's find out." I grabbed a pair of tongs from
a drawer. Brainy started to get up and run, but I was too quick for him,
and got the tongs around his little blue head. I held him firmly in one
hand while I unscrewed the top of a large, thermos-like apparatus with the
other. "This is a container of liquid nitrogen...let's see wh at happens to
Brainy, shall we." With one swift motion and a last cry of Papa Smurf, I
plunged Brainy into the thermos.
"Help me Papa Smuuurrrrf," were the last words of Brainy Smurf, as the
liquid nitrogen boiled around him. I waited several minutes, then brought
him back out. He was a Smurfcicle, as the liquid nitrogen had frozen him
through and through.
"I'm going to do this to one Smurf every hour, Papa Smurf, unless you do
what I say." I banged the tongs against the edge of the table. Brainy
Smurf shattered into about a hundred pieces.
"Brainy!" Papa Smurf cried as pieces of his friend tinkled on the floor
like shards of glass.
"I love the sound of dead Smurf in the morning", as I got up to search for
more victims.
VI
By nightfall I had collected three more Smurfs to add to my prisoners. One
was the Poetry Smurf, he went into the cage with Handy and Papa Smurf. The
other two went into the cage with the other four to watch the Smurfette
video. It wasn't long before they were starting to stroke their Smurf
dicks. Poetry Smurf, on the other hand, started in almost immediatley:
"Why have you put us
All in this cage
When we could be out
Gathering parsely and sage"

Smurfs are so happy
Joyous and free
As soon as you know us
I''m sure you'll agree"

"Shut up, Poet." I said as I thumped him on the head and stripped him of
his clothes. Handy was rubbing the spot where his tail had once been and
with Papa Smurf in the same cage, was trying to ignore the Smurfette video.
I looked outside and saw a num ber of Smurfs gathering outside the RV,
there must have been twenty Smurfs out there. Unfortunatley, Smurfette was
nowhere to be seen. I would attend to her later, though, right now I was
going to go out and bag as many Smurfs as I could. Grabbing my G lock, a
large net, and a little can of lighter fluid, I stepped outside to meet the
Smurfs.
"Hello there, Smurfs," I said. "It's a fine day to go Smurfing, wouldn't
you say?"
One Smurf came to the front and stood about five feet away from me, the
others held back. "Where do you have Papa Smurf?" he asked, his little
voice trembling in fear.
"I have him inside. But you don't have to worry about Papa Smurf, I'm your
new leader now."
"No you aren't!" they all said in unison. "We only follow the great Papa
Smurf...there's no other Smurf like him!"
"La-da-da-da-de-da....la-la-la-la-la", they whistled. I whipped out the net
just as they finished and threw it over the group, catching about twelve
Smurfs. Eight managed to evade the net and go running towards the village,
calling for Papa Smurf. Five never made it, as they couldn't outrun a
bullet. When I was done, Smurf parts littered the outskirts of the Smurf
village. Just for fu n, I took shots at some of their buildings, blasting
them and the Smurfs inside them apart in an orgy of destruction that the
Smurfs had never seen. Soon Smurfs were running all over the streets,
calling for Papa Smurf, yelling "Oh my Smurf" when another one of their
homes was destroyed. I walked over and found one Smurf that hadn't been
killed outright, though he was missing a leg and his little blue tail. I
picked him up and brought him over to the RV. The Smurfs under the net had
been trying to get out, but there was no way they would be able to, the net
was too heavy. I tossed the injured Smurf to the ground and sprayed him
with lighter fluid. "Ouuuccchhhhh...please help me Papa Smurf, it
hurrrts." As the Smurfs watched, I stuck a match and lit the injured Smurf
ablaze. He got up on one foot and tried to hop to the village and the house
of Papa Smurf, but he succumbed quickly to the flames, and in thirty
seconds blew up in an explosion similar to the one that had taken Farmer
Smurf. The Smurf s under the net started sobbing and crying. I went and
picked up another injured Smurf, tossed him about twenty feet in the air,
and plugged him with a bullet from the Glock. Smurf parts flew everywhere
as the Smurf blew apart from the force of the bullet. I then grabbed one
from under the net and pulled off his little blue tail. He cried out for
Papa Smurf to help him as Smurf vital juices sprayed out from where his
tail had once been, but it wasn't long before he was one dead Smurf as
well.
"Now are you going to do what I say, or am I going to have to hurt more
Smurfs?"
"Please don't hurt any more Smurfs", they all said together. Eleven Smurfs
sat under the net, looking miserable as I continued to pick off Smurfs with
the gun. I counted at least thirty dead Smurfs before I stopped. I got a
large cage and loaded the Smurfs from under the net inside and took them
into the RV. They all cheered when they saw Papa Smurf, but the cheer was
cut short when I reached in and grabbed Papa Smurf by the tail and dangled
him in front of his subjects.
"This is the miserable leader you worship, Smurfs. He couldn't even save
you when you needed it the most, and he won't let you Smurf when you want
and most of all, he won't let you smurf with Smurfette."
"Now if you follow me, Smurfs, you'll be able to Smurf whenever you want,
and Smurfette will be available for smurfing all the time." I could tell I
was getting through to some of them, their glazed eyes told me that much. I
threw Papa Smurf back in hi s cage with Handy. "All you have to do for me,
Smurfs, is mine the gold out of the mountain for me."
"Smurfs don't mine gold, it's too hard...it wouldn't leave any time for
Smurfing," one Smurf whined.
"If you don't mine gold for me, you miserable little twits, I'll destroy
the entire Smurf village."
"No you won't we won't let you!" they cried, but it was weak, and I think
the realization was finally coming to them that for all their luck in the
past, this was one situation they were not going to be able to get out of.
Almost all of the new Smurfs w ere crying now, some dashed themselves
against the bars in their frenzy to get out, and all of them were crying
piteously for Papa Smurf. They also all started hugging each other, trying
to console each other I guess. Since there was no real way to sto p them, I
let it go for today. Soon though, no Smurf would hug another one without my
permission. I left the light on for them on their last evening of freedom.
I woke up the next morning and went into the lab. All of the Smurfs were
asleep, their arms linked, their little blue faces lit up with smiles as
they dreamed about Smurfing. I drew a bucket of cold water and emptied it
over their sleeping forms. The Smurfs all sputtered awake immediatley,
rubbing their eyes.
"Well, I'm glad to see you're all awake, my loyal subjects."
"Why did you wake us up, we were dreaming about the flowers!" one Smurf
said, his little blue hands on his hips.
"You're all going to start working for me today, Smurfs. I want you to go
and get me all of the gold in the village. If you don't do it for me,
another Smurf's going to pay for it...it may even be Smurfette."
"Don't hurt my Smurfs", Papa Smurf said from his cage. "Go ahead, my
Smurfs, do what he says."
"Good job, Papa Smurf. You might live to see next year." I gave each Smurf
a little bag as I let him out of the cage. "If you all don't come back,
Papa Smurf will get it. Now run along and get me that gold."
It took the entire day, but at the end I had a small hill of gold and a
whole bunch of whining Smurfs. I collected all of the gold and put it in a
box, out of the reach of any Smurf. I then put all of the Smurfs back in
their cages for the night. Abou t eight Smurfs were now watching the video
all of the time now, their little blue hands stroking their tiny members
nonstop. All of the Smurfs had shown interest in it except for Handy,
Poetry, and Papa Smurf. Handy was too busy sobbing and whining to w atch,
while Poetry was spouting Smurf poems nonstop. I had to admire the tenacity
of Papa Smurf though, he was tough all right, and was not going to give in
without a fight. I however, had another card to play, and it was called
Smurfette!
"Hi, all of you Smurfs...are you all ready to get Smurfette for Smurfing?"
"Yes we are!" they all said in unison, their hands all over themselves and
each other.
"Ok...but you'll have to stay here while I go get Smurfette...I don't want
you to Smurf her before she even gets here." The lust-crazed Smurfs cheered
and started in on the Smurf's theme song. I went outside and within a few
minutes, was at the front o f Smurfette's little house.
I knocked on the door and waited. Before long the door opened and out
popped Smurfette, her face beaming as she looked out to greet her visitor.
But then she saw who it was, let out a little Smurf squeal, and ran back
inside, closing the door behind her. No matter, I grabbed the roof of the
house and pulled it off. Inside was Smurfette, looking terrified. I picked
her up and held her in one hand.
"Smurfette...say hello to the new leader of the Smurfs." I said,
starting to walk back to the RV
"NO...Papa Smurf is our leader!" She started whistling the Smurf's theme
song. For that, she got her clothes ripped off. There she was...in all of
her naked Smurf glory. She stuggled to free her arms so that she could
cover her naughty Smurf parts, but I wouldn't let her.
"Smurfette...prepare to service a whole bunch of horny Smurfs."
"No...please don't make me Smurf...I've never Smurfed!" Smurfette sounded
terrified at the prospect...having to fulfill the needs of two dozen young
horny Smurfs.
"You're going to have to do it, Smurfette...otherwise Papa Smurf gets it."
"No...don't hurt Papa Smurf...please!" Smurfette started crying.
"Why are you hurting the Smurfs?" she asked.
"Because I want to, Smurfette. Because I think the Smurfs should be under
my control, finding gold and all sorts of smurfy gems for me."
"But...but Papa Smurf's our leader..."
"Not any more, Smurfette." We were at the door of the RV. I opened it and
went in. A lusty cheer rose from the cages as I held up the ultimate
prize...Smurfette! The Smurfs immediately rushed to the bars of their cages
and started beating furiously on their little blue members.
For some of the Smurfs, seeing Smurfette in the blue flesh was too much and
they started squirting blue Smurf juice all over themselves. In one cage,
the action was really getting hot and heavy as one Smurf was down on all f
ours, presenting his tight blue butt to his fellow Smurfs. One Smurf got
behind him and started lapping up and down underneath his little blue tail.
"Ohhh...that feels so smurfy!" the Smurf on all fours moaned.
The Smurf behind him got up, aimed his blue Smurf pecker at the blue Smurf
pucker, and thrust forward.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch...it smurfs...it smurfs!" the Smurf on all fours sobbed
as the Smurf behind him thurst in and out at a furious rate. "Clumsy
Smurf...I'm...I'm Smurfingggg!" the thursting Smurf cried as his little
blue dick shot a wad of Smurf sauce d eep inside Clumsy.
"Get out of the way...I want to Smurf Clumsy now!" the other Smurf in the
cage said. I was sure this was Grouchy Smurf.
"No...I want to Smurf Clumsy again!" the Smurf inside Clumsy said as he
grabbed Clumsy by his little blue tail and started thrusting in and out
again. Smurfette, Papa Smurf and Handy Smurf were all sobbing as they
witnessed the first gay coupling...actually the first coupling of any kind,
in Smurf history.
"I'm going to tell Papa Smurf if you don't let me Smurf Clumsy."
Grouchy Smurf said as he started trying to pull the other Smurf away.
"Papa Smurf can go jump in the Smurf for all I care. Clumsyyyy...I'm
Smurfing again!" Clumsy Smurf screamed as he received another load of cream
up the blue chute.
"Papa Smurf, he won't let me Smurf Clumsy!" With a last tug and a loud
popping sound, Grouchy pulled the semi-erect blue dick from the grasping
clutches of Clumsy's butt. Both Smurfs tumbled to the back of the cage
while Clumsy collapsed in a puddle of Smurf juice.
"We want Smurfette, we want Smurfette!" the Smurfs in one cage started
chanting. In yet another cage, there were Smurfs standing on the shoulders
of other Smurfs, all of them pulling on their peckers, all eager to be the
first to sample the Smurfy delights of Smurfette.
"Stop it Smurfs, this isn't smurfy at all." Smurfette cried as she buried
her face in her hands. I popped her in a cage, just out of reach of the one
that held Grouchy and the now well-Smurfed Clumsy.
"Get over here, Smurfette, so you can Smurf on my Smurf," Grouchy said
lasciviously.
"No...leave me alone, Grouchy!"
Grouchy tried to reach through the bars but he was too far away. "You said
we could Smurf Smurfette, you said, you said!" Grouchy's blue member looked
like it was ready to burst as he stared up at me indignantly.
"You'll get your chance, Grouchy, all of the Smurfs will. But for
now...there's always Clumsy."
"I don't want to smurf Clumsy...I want to smurf Smurfette! Hmmmph," he
said as he proceeded to get behind Clumsy anyway. Clumsy Smurf screamed as
Grouchy Smurf inserted his rampaging Smurf tool into the tender opening. It
only took about six strokes in and out before Grouchy sprayed a load of
blue juice inside Clumsy. Grouchy pushed the now exhausted Clumsy away and
started running after the other Smurf in the cage, chanting "Smurf me,
Smurf me!" It was the perfect end to the day.
I went to bed, content in the fact that the subjugation of the Smurf
village was almost complete.
VIII
On the next day, I checked on the condition of all of the Smurfs, starting
with Smurfette. In contrast to the treatment that most of the other Smurfs
were getting, Smurfette had it good. Her cage was away from all of the
other Smurfs, most of which were now staring at her with a look of
unbridled lust in their little blue faces. Now that they had the real
Smurfette so close, they didn't need the video anymore. At any one time,
about half of them had their little blue members in their hands, stroking
away like there was no tomorrow. Smurfette had adjusted surprisingly well
to her captivity. She wasn't whining like some of the other Smurfs, in fact
when I dropped a chocolate-covered strawberry into her cage, she exclaimed,
"Ohh, how Smurfy!" and ran over to pick it up.
"So how do you like your new home, Smurfette?" I asked her
"It's ok...but I like the Smurf village more...its so Smurfy there!" She
paused for a moment, then asked, "Why are you keeping us here. You're
making Papa Smurf very unhappy."
"That's just it, Smurfette...I want to make all of the Smurfs, especially
Papa Smurf, very, very unhappy."
"But...why...we're all so Smurfy...it's just the way we are."
"That's the reason, Smurfette...you're all so damn Smurfy I just can't
stand it." I walked over to the cage where I had Papa, Handy and Poetry
Smurf. They all had their little blue hands on their hips, looking up at me
with expressions of righteous indignation on their faces. I didn't give a
fuck, the Smurfs were pretty much at my command anyway.
"So Papa Smurf...how would you like to tell your Smurfs to go down into the
cave at the end of the lake tomorrow to find me some more gold."
"No we won't...the Smurfs don't like it there," Papa Smurf said. "Happy
and Dandy Smurf went to the cave one day...we never saw either Smurf
again." Several Smurfs in the cage nearby overheard and started sobbing and
even worse, hugging each other. "Stop that, you little blue idiots!" I
grabbed one out of their cage and held him up by his little blue tail.
"Help me, help me Papa Smurf!" he cried. Just for fun, I shook him around a
bit and went into a pitcher's windup, pretending I was going to fling him
up against the wall with all of my strength.
"Please help me...Papa Smurf it hurts!" I shook him a little harder.
"Stop hurting my Smurfs!" Papa Smurf yelled, coming to the bars of his
cage. I started knocking the Smurf's head against the bars, prompting a
yelp each time from the helpless Smurf.
"Ouch...make him stop Papa...Ouch...Papa Smurf help me...Ouch"
" Will your Smurfs go out and get that gold for me...or am I gonna have to
teach this Smurf a lesson?" I knocked the Smurf's head just a little harder
on the bars.
"Please let my Smurf go, please!" Papa started sobbing, as did the entire
room of captured Smurfs. I paused for a moment...looking as if I was going
to put him back. But then I begin to swing him back and forth by his little
blue tail, knocking his head against the bars. I knew it wouldn't be long
before his tail would come off and the Smurf vital juices come spraying
out.
"Help me PAPAAAA!" the Smurf yelled as he impacted against the bars again
and again.
"Stop hurting him!" Smurfette yelled from her cage. Without missing a beat,
I got a cup of cold water and doused her with it. Smurfette started
sobbing loudly when I did that, covering her little blue face with her
hands.
"Shut up, Smurfette, otherwise Papa Smurf gets it next." With a final pop,
the Smurf's tail popped off in my hand and the Smurf went crashing to the
floor, Smurf vital juices spraying out from where his tail had been. He got
up to run and hide, but I was quicker, and scooped him up in my hand. I
grabbed a piece of duct tape and slapped it over the spot where his tail
had been. I then opened up the door of Smurfette's cage and threw him in,
content that he wouldn't be interested in Smurfing for quite a while.
Smurfette went over to give the injured Smurf a hug, but all that got the
two of them was a glass of cold water in the face.
Both of them were sobbing as I begin to get ready to go on another Smurf
gathering expedition.
"Decide which Smurfs are going to go to the cave in an hour, Papa
Smurf...otherwise the next Smurf won't be so lucky."
--

--
Reverend Modemac (mod...@tiac.net)
First Online Church of "Bob" "There is no black and white."
URL: http://www.tiac.net/users/modemac/
(FINGER mod...@sunspot.tiac.net for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!)