rodbot v1.0 - first public showing
David Moss
Fascinated by the amazing articles of rod speed, and having a few
spare minutes while waiting for quotes to arrive, I had a crack at
coding a simple "rodbot". Here is the result: (my apologies to Robi Karp
who's excellent original article was used to test "rodbot".)
The perl script is at the end - further development welcomed !
begin-->
>The following extract is from the New England Journal of Medicine, one
>of the most respected medical journals around.
Gets sillier by the minute. Welp.
> It is from volume 336,
>number 17, April 24 1997. The article from which I am quoting was
>written by Thomas E. Wiswell M.D. of the Thomas Jefferson University,
>Philadelphia.
Gets sillier by the minute.
>
>
>
>"At least 1.2 million to 1.8 million newborn boys (60 to 90 percent)
>are circumcised annually in the United States.
Sorree. Crap.
> Until the mid-1980s,
>it was believed that the procedure had few, if any, health-related
>merits. Subsequently, however, numereous studies delineating medical
>advantages of circumcision have appeared. Specifically, there is
>substantial evidence of the following benefits. Pathological phimosis
>(in contrast to the normal state in infancy, when the the prepuce is
>nonretractile) and paraphimosis cannot occur unless there is a
>foreskin.
Pity. Pig's arse!
> Inflammation of the glans penis (balanitis) and prepuce
>(posthitis) are extremely painful, and they primarliy affect
>uncircumcised males.
Gets sillier by the minute. Bullshit! Ditto.
> Chronic or recurrent balanoposthitis may result
>in scarring and secondary phimosis.
>
>Another benefit is a reduction in urinary tract infections. A
>meta-analysis of nine published reports showed that the risk of such
>infection is 12 times as high among uncircumcised male infants as
>among circumcised infants. A high proportion of infants with urinary
>tract infections have concomitant bacteremia, and renal scarring and
>its sequelae are not uncommon.
Pathetic really.
> Furthermore, circumcision reduces the
>risk of penile cancer.
Gets sillier by the minute.
> In uncircumcised men, the lifetime risk of
>this cancer is about 1 in 500, as compared to a risk of 1 in 50,000 to
>1 in 12 million in circumcised men. Female partners of uncircumcised
>men are more likely to contract cervical cancer.
Ditto. Corse it is!
> Human
>papillomaviruses are implicated in the pathogenesis of both cancers.
Corse it is! Welp.
>
>Lastly, virtually every sexually transmitted disease is more common in
>uncircumcised men, and the risk of human immunodeficiency virus [HIV]
>infection is greater.
>
>Why are these infections more common in uncircumcised men? The warm,
>moist, mucosal environment under the foreskin probably favors the
>growth of microorganisms. Trauma to the prepuce during intercourse
>may increase microbial invasion.
Fantasy. Pig's arse! Crap.
> It has been suggested that lifelong
>hygiene of the uncircumcised penis will prevent many of the above
>mentioned disorders.
Fraid so. Nope. Pity.
> To date, however, there is no evidence that
>optimal attention to genital cleansing confers such protection.
>
>Clinical and neurologic testing has not detected differences in penile
>sensitivity between men who were circumcised and those who were not.
>I know of no data indicating circumcised men have more long-term
>genital-related problems with either psychological, social, emotional,
>and sexual function or sexual pleasure.
>
>For an experienced operator, the circumcision of a neonate is a
>low-risk procedure.
Pity.
> The most common complications are easily
>treatable local infections and bleeding, which both occur after 0.
Bullshit! Fraid so. Pig's arse!
>1 to
>1 percent of procedures. Most complications of circumcision can be
>traced to poor technique or inexperience. Over the past 45 years,
>four deaths of neonates have been attributed to circumcision. During
>the same period, more than 11,000 uncircumcised men died from penile
>cancer."
>
>
>I hope this clears a few things up.
Fraid so.
(*** This article was artificiallty generated using rodbot v1.0 ***)
<-- end
***********************************************************************
How did I do it ?
(no laughing from you *real* programmers out there)
#!/usr/local/bin/perl
# rodbot v1.0 - a program to simulate rod speed in aus.politics
$inputfile = 'indata';
$outputfile = 'rodspeak';
$rod[1] = 'Fraid so.';
$rod[2] = 'Pig\'s arse!';
$rod[3] = 'Crap.';
$rod[4] = 'Sorree.';
$rod[5] = 'Nope.';
$rod[6] = 'Pity.';
$rod[7] = 'Fantasy.';
$rod[8] = 'Ditto.';
$rod[9] = 'Gets sillier by the minute.';
$rod[10] = 'Welp.';
$rod[11] = 'Pathetic really.';
$rod[12] = 'Corse it is!';
$rod[13] = 'Bullshit!';
srand(); #Randomise the answers - just like rod does !
if ($#ARGV > 0){ # see if we have an input and output file
$inputfile = $ARGV[0];
$outputfile = $ARGV[1];
}
open (ARTICLE, "<$inputfile") || die "Can't open $inputfile $!";
open (ROD,">$outputfile") || die "Can't open $outputfile $!";
while (<ARTICLE>) {
$inputline = $_;
$inputline = ">".$inputline;
$insult="";
if ($inputline =~ /\./ && int(rand(10)+1) > 5) {
for ($x=int(rand(3)+1); $x>0; $x--){
$insult = $insult." $rod[int(rand(13)+1)]";
}
$inputline =~ s/\./\.\n\n$insult\n\n>/;
}
print ROD "$inputline";
}
print ROD "\n$rod[int(rand(13)+1)]\n";
print ROD "\n\n(*** This article was artificiallty generated using rodbot v1.0 ***)\n";
close ARTICLE;
close ROD;
***********************************************************************
David Moss,
personal opinion only.
http://www.adfa.oz.au/~adm/politics for Oz politics info
rod speed
David Moss <a...@ccadfa.cc.adfa.oz.au> wrote in article <adm.863673844@ccadfa>...
Good to see I am getting under your skin Davey boy. GREAT buttons you have |-)
d-m...@adfa.oz.au
In article <01bc61eb$2a41dea0$Loca...@RodsPC.dragnet.com.au>,
Sorry to dissapoint you rod, but you simply gave me an
additional hour or so of amusement beyond yor postings themselves.
I write computer programs for the same reasons others collect
stamps or construct model airplanes.
I have noticed the standard of your articles has improved of late,
but if you're ever in a rush feel free to use rodbot 1.0. I doubt
many of us will be able to tell the difference.
ObPolitics: Early election anyone ? By bet is YES !
David Moss,
personal opinion only.
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
R.E. Whitcombe
On Sun, 18 May 1997 06:11:04 -0600, d-m...@adfa.oz.au wrote:
>additional hour or so of amusement beyond your postings themselves.
>I write computer programs for the same reasons others collect
>stamps or construct model airplanes.
Gosh David - perhaps you could write a few more 'bots for some of the other
more prolific posters ..... I can think of a couple who could streamline
their "operations" - but then again .... perhaps they have been running
'bots for years .... ?? :> (ad hominum anyone ?)
>OzPolitics: Early election anyone ? By bet is YES !
I'd say so - but what d'ya reckon are the chances of a referendum or two as
well ???
....................................................
[ Robert Edison Whitcombe |\__/,| (`\ ]
[ (edi...@fl.net.au) _.|o o |_ ) ) ]
[ Sydney, Australia. ---(((---(((-------------]
[.................................................]
Norbie
David Moss wrote:
>
> st...@melbpc.org.au (Stan Rosenthal) writes:
>
> >On 15 May 97 05:24:04 GMT, a...@ccadfa.cc.adfa.oz.au (David Moss)
> >wrote:
>
> >>Fascinated by the amazing articles of rod speed, and having a few
> >>spare minutes while waiting for quotes to arrive, I had a crack at
> >>coding a simple "rodbot".
>
>
> Thanks Stan: here are the results of your suggestion and a complete
> listing of rodbot v1.1:
< RodBot demo and code SNIPPED! >
This is kind of frightening. The demo looked like so many real life Rod
Speed postings, it makes me wonder if RS is, in fact, a bot. Not a
person at all. Tell me, David Moss, are you the twisted person
responsible for creating the entity we know as Rod Speed?
Remember that movie "Frankenstein"?
"I have created a monster."
--
*---------------------------------------------------------*
Norbie ~~ "I am the Lizard King. I can do anything."
q942...@mail.connect.usq.edu.au
http://www.connect.usq.edu.au/students/q9422562/
R.E. Whitcombe
On Mon, 19 May 1997 22:21:09 +1000, pete...@netinfo.com.aus (Peter Mackay)
wrote:
>In article <33810c8e...@news.fl.net.au>,
>edi...@fl.net.au (R.E. Whitcombe) wrote:
>
>Re early election.
>
>> I'd say so - but what d'ya reckon are the chances of a referendum or two as
>> well ???
>
>Zero. Constitutional referenda will wait until after the People's
>Convention delivers its findings.
BUGGER !!! .... there seems to be a lot of things that the people should
have a say about at the moment - I don't think it's necessary to say what
either :> - pretty obvious (and this NG might even calm down then)
David Moss
edi...@fl.net.au (R.E. Whitcombe) wrote:
>On Mon, 19 May 1997 22:21:09 +1000, pete...@netinfo.com.aus (Peter Mackay)
>wrote:
>>In article <33810c8e...@news.fl.net.au>,
>>edi...@fl.net.au (R.E. Whitcombe) wrote:
>>
>>Re early election.
>>> I'd say so - but what d'ya reckon are the chances of a referendum or two as
>>> well ???
>>
>>Zero. Constitutional referenda will wait until after the People's
>>Convention delivers its findings.
>BUGGER !!! .... there seems to be a lot of things that the people should
>have a say about at the moment - I don't think it's necessary to say what
>either :> - pretty obvious (and this NG might even calm down then)
I still like my suggestion of a 5 question plebiscite with every
federal election. 2 Questions from the government, 2 from the
opposition, and one from a randomly selected Independent or minor
Party, questions locked in 12 months in advance to avoid election
stunts.
David Moss,
personal opinion only.
try http://www.adfa.oz.au/~adm/politics for Australian Politics
David S. Maddison
David Moss <a...@ccadfa.cc.adfa.oz.au> wrote:
: Fascinated by the amazing articles of rod speed, and having a few
: spare minutes while waiting for quotes to arrive, I had a crack at
: coding a simple "rodbot". Here is the result: (my apologies to Robi Karp
: who's excellent original article was used to test "rodbot".)
: The perl script is at the end - further development welcomed !
[..]
Well done at your contribution to artificial "intelligence".
Unfortunately, the problem now will be how to tell the real Speed
from the virtual one. I wonder if he'll try to be even more obnoxious in
his efforts to distinguish himself?
David Maddison