Stuck in the Tetons--LONG TR
Scott B Crosson
Stuck in the Tetons--Long TR
Saturday, August 24
For once, I beat Miles in the who-can-wake-up-whom game. I slam
down a cup of coffee while simultaneously feeding this early-bird cat and
throwing climbing gear into my car. I'm supposed to be cat- and house-
sitting for one of my professors, but a housemate has agreed to cover for
the 5 or 6 days I'll be in Wyoming. Chris, Tris and I are taking two cars
to the Tetons; they are heading on to Colorado, while I must return to
Eugene immediately to start preparations for fall term. Eastern Oregon
appears as a smoky battlefield after we cross the Cascades: the wildfires
that torched Smith Rock several weeks before continue to plaque the Bend
area and lend an ugly haze to the sky. We blast on through Idaho and
thank the wisdom of the new 75mph speedlimit on I-84.
Murphy's Law strikes first at those who try to ignore it. 30
miles west of Twin Falls, my car overheats and the head gasket blows.
Our diagnostic skills fail us and we call AAA to have the car towed to a
repair shop. Hopefully we can pick it after a few days. We head to a
local mini-mart while we wait for the wrecker. Chris, with a dangerously
optimistic attitude (remember Murphy!), reckons that our/my luck can only
change for the better and buys me an instant lottery ticket. I lose, and
a cop pulls us over 1/4 mile from the parking lot with three open beers
in the car as we sit in shocked disbelief at our double misfortune.
Tris's now-crammed Pathfinder provides ample hiding space, however, and
the trooper lets Tris off with a warning about his broken tailight. We
arrive at Lupine Meadows at 4am, after nearly running over 2 moose calfs
and a mountain lion on the winding roads near the WY/ID border.
Sunday and Monday, August 25 & 26
We're staying at Andy's cabin, but Andy (a Teton climbing ranger
and a good friend of mine) is on patrol. We sleep in Sunday and waste
two days sport-climbing, bouldering, and drinking beer. The Jenny Lake
boulders are as enjoyable as always. We bumble on a Gill problem on
Cutfinger Rock, only to watch a fellow in his 50s complete a twirling
dyno through the opening move we tried statically. He then informs us
this is the problem where John Gill first used gymnastic chalk, saving
generations of sweaty-fisted climbers from chronic embarrassment. Chalk
or no chalk, I struggle with the problem, although I have done it before.
Tuesday, August 27
Andy has the day off but is tired. We sleep outside, aiming to
get an early start to climb the SW route up Symmetry Spire. At 6am we
note the clouds above the Tetons and decide (only somewhat reluctantly)
to cancel, but by 830am the clouds are gone. We settle for Baxter's
pinnacle instead. A relatively short approach (by Tetons standards) leads
me to the opening 5.8 pitch. I climb up a face with some inconstant
cracks heading to the right. At one point I can only put in one small but
cherry stopper in a 30 ft runout. We should have taken some TCUs. I
arrive on a small sloping ledge where a woman from Florida is belaying
her leader/partner from one fixed pin. She asks me how long I have been
climbing.
"A little over a year."
"One year and you're already leading?"
I nod and look at her "anchor", trying to decide whether to say
something. I tell her that belay anchors should have more than one
piece, and that ancient fixed pro like that piton are notoriously
unreliable. She brushes me off with a comment that her partner is very
experienced. I set up a 4 piece anchor after she leaves and belay up
Chris and Tris. Chris leads up a chimney to the right, then races up
another pitch and a half of 4th class to an exposed ledge beneath the
tope of the pinnacle. He and I argue over who will lead the last crux
pitch (5.9). I lose the argument and rack up. The first move is an
exposed step over the abyss onto a weird bouldering problem with one
fixed pin for pro. I lean out and try to wiggle in a stopper as backup,
but the crack flares and keeps spitting it back out. I settle for a small
flexi-Friend and clip the rope into both pieces, then step back on the
ledge to collect my thoughts. I start to commit twice but am forced to
back off as Chris and Tris decide to fiddle with the belay anchor some
more. I curse at them and ask if they saw the mens 100m at the Olympics
this summer with the two false starts.
"Um, yes."
"Well, those false starts messed up the concentration of the runners, so
knock IT THE F--- OFF!"
I launch into the bouldering move, nail it, then race up a
lieback crack to the top. They follow (both falling on the bouldering
move) and we race back to Jenny Lake before a storm embraces the Tetons.
We meet Andy in Jackson and see the new version of "The Island of Dr.
Moreau."
Wednesday, August 28
We head out early to climb Teewinot. The Apex trail wastes no
time: it's one steep mother of a hike up to the treeline, where we have
to negotiate a steep and icy snowfield. The snow is hard enough that
self-belay takes a fair amount of work to pound the shaft down to an
acceptable level. Tris decides not to cross and will wait for us below.
Some scary and exposed 4th class scrambling eventually brings us to the
summit a few hours later. We solo everything, even some parts I believe
to be short sections of 5th class. The altitude whups me good and my
knees are hammered by the hike back down.
Thursday, August 29
I call the shop in Twin Falls. My car should be ready tomorrow.
We head up the horrid approach to Symmetry Spire. Chris leads the first
pitch and quickly races out of view to a ledge. Tris follows and I haul
up with the pack. I rack and climb 15 feet up to a roof, set a .75
Camelot, then pull through on jug holds. By the end of the 4th pitch, we
are on a huge triangular sloping ledge (maybe 50' X 30') and Tris is
hugging the deck.
"Tris, what are you doing?"
"Looking at the small section of rock in front of me and nothing else!"
I try to calm him down, estimating two more short pitches to the
top. Chris announces that the last pitch messed with his head and he no
longer wishes to lead. I grab the rack and head straight up the headwall
in front of us. Three full rope-length pitches later we are on the ridge
and Tris is nearly paralyzed with vertigo. The last belay was off a 5' X
3' ledge with nearly 1000' of exposure. We eventually find the rap
anchors several hundred feet along the ridge and hike down too late to
catch the ferry back across the lake. We hike back around the lake in the
dark, bodies fatigued and throats burned with thirst.
Friday and Saturday, August 30
We drive back to Twin Falls only to find my car is not ready and
won't be until after Labor Day weekend. I rent a Nissan and bid Chris
and Tris farewell. I consider the long drive back to Eugene (9-10 hrs)
and decide to head back to Jackson instead (4 hrs). No point in heading
home, staying a day, then turning around to come back to Idaho again.
Saturday is spent bouldering and sulking at my misfortune.
Sunday, August 31 and Monday, September 1
There are worse place to be stuck over Labor Day weekend than
Grand Teton National Park. I look for a peak to solo and decide on
Middle Teton. The hike through Garnet Canyon is both moderate and
stunning. I pass the Platforms and head across several moderate
snowfields. After some 3rd class talus-hopping, I reach the summit with
my lips tingling from lack of oxygen. The descent is a fast mix of
glissading and plunge-stepping down snow- and talus- fields,
respectively. On the hike out, I talk with a balding guy named Don I met
on the summit. He claims to have been a member of the Vulgarians. I am
not sure whether to believe him.
Monday is spent shopping in Jackson. Teton Mountaineering and
Skinny Skis are both clearing out their seasonal stock. I pick up a
Gregory Alpinisto pack for $150, Grivel G-12 step-in crampons for $75,
and a Marmot 3-ply Goretex Stormlight jacket for $138. If I gotta abuse
my credit card for car repairs I might as well enjoy myself.
Andy and I go to some wretched pizza place in the north end of
the park, where we run into Chuck Pratt. Pratt is working summers as an
Exum guide and knows Andy. We chat for a while and I mention that "The
View from Deadhorse Point" is one of my favorite pieces of climbing
literature. "God, that was so long ago," he replies, "but thanks."
Tuesday and Wednesday, September 2
The car is functional enough to get me home, but the heads were
warped and the shop can only do so much filing. A compression test may
determine the car's true health, but I doubt any long road trips are in
the future.
At any rate, I'm back housesitting again, and Miles is
unexpectedly cheerful at my return. The car-inflicted stress has begun to
lift. I think I'll go sort my new toys and speed the process.
Scott C
Bruce Wenner
Scott B Crosson wrote:
>
> Stuck in the Tetons--Long TR
>
> Saturday, August 24
zzzzzzzzz....
Chuck Spiekerman
Bruce Wenner <Bruce_...@hp-usa-om22.om.hp.com> wrote
:Scott B Crosson wrote:
:>
:> Stuck in the Tetons--Long TR
:>
:> Saturday, August 24
:> ...--
:zzzzzzzzz....
Hope this dumbass Bruce doesn't discourage more posting of trip
reports. I thought it was a good trip report. In fact ANY trip
report beats the hell out of 99% of the usual posts. We need more
trip reports posted and less mindless negative comments.
Chuck
Scott B Crosson
On 6 Sep 1996, Chuck Spiekerman wrote:
> Hope this dumbass Bruce doesn't discourage more posting of trip
> reports. I thought it was a good trip report. In fact ANY trip
> report beats the hell out of 99% of the usual posts. We need more
> trip reports posted and less mindless negative comments.
The writing was a bit flat, I'll agree, but I dashed it off pretty
quickly. Bruce is free to pass on any posts he sees w/"TR" in the
subject field; I myself enjoy them. At any rate, it doesn't really
matter: I got multiple positive emails this morning from people thanking
me for posting.
Scott C
------------------------------------
"All paid employments absorb and degrade the mind." -Aristotle
Bruce Wenner
Chuck Spiekerman wrote:
>
> Bruce Wenner <Bruce_...@hp-usa-om22.om.hp.com> wrote
>
> :Scott B Crosson wrote:
> :>
> :>
> :> Saturday, August 24
> :> ...--
>
> :zzzzzzzzz....
>
> Hope this dumbass Bruce doesn't discourage more posting of trip
> reports. I thought it was a good trip report. In fact ANY trip
> report beats the hell out of 99% of the usual posts. We need more
> trip reports posted and less mindless negative comments.
>
--
My public apologies to both Scott and Chuck. Under Win95, my viewer has
a bad habit of scrolling to EOF when a single page down was requested
and I missed the bulk of the TR. My comment was based on the beginning
and end of the TR, which discussed house sitting, car problems, and
buying new gear. Sorry and regards,
Bruce
Brian Moorhead
Totally agree !. TRs sure beat the hell out of bolt wars,how to marke the
centre of the rope, etc etc.
Bruce Wenner
Chuck Spiekerman wrote:
>
> Bruce Wenner <Bruce_...@hp-usa-om22.om.hp.com> wrote
>
> :Scott B Crosson wrote:
> :>
> :>
> :> Saturday, August 24
> :> ...--
>
> :zzzzzzzzz....
>
> Hope this dumbass Bruce doesn't discourage more posting of trip
> reports. I thought it was a good trip report. In fact ANY trip
> report beats the hell out of 99% of the usual posts. We need more
> trip reports posted and less mindless negative comments.
>
> Chuck
--
Man, take a 'lude and settle down. Rather than name calling, look
foward to criticizing a future TR of mine - maybe I'll hit North Dakota
in the fall...Shakedome rules!
Bruce
Larry Neathery
Scott B Crosson <scro...@darkwing.uoregon.edu> wrote:
I enjoyed your report as I was in the Tetons in early August. We
climbed Baxters and the Grand Teton and were on Guides Wall.
Good post, its nice to hear others desciptions of places you've been
to or plan to be at.